A Song For Skyrim
by Jack Trader
Summary: I thought I was destined to be no one in particular. And I was happy about that. Then I went off to Skyrim to join the Bard's College and ended up nearly killed, proclaimed Dragonborn, and told I was supposed to save the world, bring about world peace, and feed the children. And I have this really annoying companion I'm hopelessly in love with. And no, I am NOT okay with this.
1. Chapter 1 - A Song For Helgen

_._

_It's just a dedication,  
It won't be very long,  
It's given to a special voice,  
That made me write A Song._

**The Opening Bars**

It is with great pain and an overwhelming feeling of grogginess that I begin this narrative. You can call me Valentine if you like, though my friends often call me Val. My last name is Florian and there's something special about it. It's a last name which my ancestor, my great grandmother adopted after she had been told by her grandmother what our true lineage is. But I suppose I will have to explain that now. Not that I've got anything better to do. I'm still recovering from that nasty blow to the head, and the only things I am aware of right at present are the clopping of horses hooves on a poorly made cobblestone highway, the rattle of metal reinforced wheels, and a rather jogging ride on a bench which happens to be part of this wagon I'm in with . . . oh looks like three other people. Four if you count our driver, but he's no one we're liking right now.

You see, once upon a time, there was this fellow, named Martin. Turns out he was the illegitimate son of the Emperor at the time, of the Septim line. But my three greats . . . Umm . . . Screw it . . . My ancestral founder called him Martiboo. You see, before he became a Priest of Akatosh in the city of Kvatch, and was nearly killed by the Daedra during the Oblivion Crises, he himself had flirted with Daedric magic, and that included not a few parties and deals with Sanguine. Well my ancestral founder was apparently quite the pleasure girl and she slept with Martin not a few times. When he became a priest he gently broke it up. Not that my ancestor actually minded. She was way too far into the Sanguine thing to care that deeply for the departure of Martin for the 'boring' life as she called it. So naturally a few days after the break up, she discovered she was at least three months pregnant (she never could count that well and had been wondering for close to sixty days where her period was). My ancestor didn't bother to tell him. She was convinced he would want to marry her and then she would be a boring wife of a priest. At the same time, she thought it would be fun to have a kid. Sort of like having a pet.

Naturally, as you all know, Martin went on to become the last Emperor of the Septim line and sacrificed himself to save Tamriel from the machinations of Mehrunes Dagon. Some say he turned into a dragon and still guards Tamriel from Aetherius. Others say he simply provided the means by which Akatosh could come down and deal with Mehrunes Dagon. But either way, I'm supposed to be the legitimate heir to the Imperial throne . . . If the Septim line still counted, which it doesn't. So I'm no one. Thanks to the fact that my ancestor was a superficial slut.

I don't know if I'm okay with that or not. Actually, I'm not. I wouldn't be here if she had possessed a modicum of responsibility.

So what is this about Florian? Well there's this association with flowers and fire with the name, and during the Oblivion Crises, there were these flaming gates which reminded you a bit of flaming flowers all over the landscape. You can still see some of the wreckage, even to this day, in parts of Tamriel, black ugly rocks and on rare occasions, this red tubular grass which still sometimes grows around them. But only around them.

Damn these bumpy roads. Ever since the war the Empire has gone to oblivion in an omnibus.

So far so bad. Now that you know where I come from, I suppose you want to know what I am doing in this cart with a soldier, a rogue in clothing as ragged as mine, and a noble ass of some sort that has a gag over his mouth.

It starts out with the fact that my father, had a wife before my mother, and she died in childbirth leaving him with a young son and two young daughters. So he married again, and that was my mother. My father was a noble in the Imperial City, an advisor to the Imperial Council at times. I mean I should have had it made. But once again, my fate was to be no one in particular. It's not that my mother didn't plot and plan to have me supplant my father's son by his first wife. That's Aurelian, he's a nice enough guy actually, always did right by me. And it was the fact that he genuinely treated me as a real brother that I decided to do what I did. Since it was clear he was the oldest, I didn't learn how to lead and fight, I learned music, and a bit of magic. The clean kind of course. Daedric magic is one of the reasons why I'm not anyone of importance. The Daedra can rot in Oblivion. But mother was fit to be tied when I refused to take fighting lessons. She even threatened to paint me yellow, throw me into the arena, and let the blue team rip me to shreds. But I stood my ground. Aurelian was going to be heir and I was going to be behind that. But mother would not take no for an answer, and she began to think about Night Mother rituals. That really bugged me. I went to my dad and told all.

It was one rotten Sundas I'll tell you. You think the Imperial City going up in flames by the Thalmor was bad? You should have seen my mother throw a fit when she was confronted with that nightshade and dagger in her shopping bag. Dad was remarkably restrained. He didn't throw her into prison. He merely locked her up in the attic of our home which overlooked the Arboretum beyond the wall. It was a nice view really. And as for me? I suggested that it might be a good idea to travel abroad and study my music, collecting songs from all over Tamriel until such a time as mom got over her obsession with me being the heir, or dad died and Aurelian took over. Aurelian nearly cried when I left, as did dad. They really have missed me. But I was also my mother's son and sooner or later I was afraid she'd get to me. I left.

I traveled east, then south, then west. I've been all over really. Collected a lot of music. Learned to play the lute, the drum, and the flute. And then I turned north, and traveled into the frozen backside of the Empire known as Skyrim. Lokir was the first guy I met. He was traveling north. Never did tell me where he got that nice horse, but now that I've had a chance to talk with him, I suspect he was thinking of appropriating mine as well. I would have fried his face off of course had he tried, but you know how it is with thieves. He would not have come up like some stupid Khajiit or Argonian and given me that 'your money or your life' line. He would have simply slit my throat in my sleep and run off with it. Not that he'll have the chance now. The Imperials took both our horses when they jumped those Stormcloaks.

Yes, the Stormcloaks. Idiots the lot of them. Bad enough that the Thalmor kicked our asses in Cyrodiil. Ulfric was there. He of all people should have known just how much blood and struggle was spent just to fight those damn bastards to a standstill and thus manage to save something. But no! He had to get all bent out of shape over Talos.

Now don't get me wrong, Talos is a god, one of the nine. I've worshipped at the shrines, I've seen his divine power manifest itself. The Thalmor are bigoted twits who think they can render a deity not a deity by treaty? Like a piece of paper is going to take away divine prerogatives? What is it with the powerful that make them think they can alter reality like that? Oh well, that's one advantage to not being Emperor, I don't have to deal with that sort, or thank the nine, turn into one of them. Yes The Nine. Screw the treaty. I might be all nice and pretend I agree with the Thalmor when I have one over to dinner, but the moment his back is turned it's The Nine.

We could have bided our time, built up our strength, recovered from that blow, and then, ripped those bastards a new one and sent those pointed ear jerks back to Summerset and see the sun set on them come another summer. But that's not going to happen. Ulfric and his Stormcloaks are going to rip the Empire apart and keep us weak so that the Thalmor can recover their strength and finish us off and then we'll not only be without Talos, we'll be without our liberty. It's no secret that the Thalmor think us inferior creatures.

"Hey you?" said a kind and noble Nord voice. "Finally awake?"

"Yeah," I groaned. "Wasn't expecting an Imperial rap on the head. Where's my horse?"

"You were trying to cross the border, right?" The man was blond with a gentle soft beard on his face. Something about him told me he was a good man. But he was in a Stormcloak uniform, that cheap scale armor and hide boots and gloves, hardly worth the effort, especially against my fire. "Got caught up in that Imperial ambush, same as us. And that thief over there."

That was Lokir, who probably was still alive because he had not tried to steal my horse and get his face burned off.

"Damn you Stormcloaks," he snapped. "Skyrim was fine until you came along. Empire was nice and lazy. If they hadn't been looking for you, I could've stolen that horse and been halfway to Hammerfell by now."

So he was planning on stealing my horse. I grinned. It was nice when suspicions are confirmed, it tells you that your survival skills are growing.

"You there; you and me, we shouldn't be here," added Lokir looking at me. "Its these Stormcloaks the Empire wants."

"You're right about that," I agreed. "If it weren't for all sorts of things, you would be a fried crisp from trying to steal my horse and I would be riding towards Whiterun with a second horse in tow."

I help up my hands, bound before me. "I'm somewhat proficient in destruction magics," I continued. "And these hands have burned more than a few people to ashes."

"We're all brothers and sisters in binds now, thief," said the Stormcloak.

The Imperial driver, without so much as looking back snapped "Shut up back there."

"So what's wrong with him?" queried Lokir nodding towards the noble sap in the gag.

"Watch your tongue!" ordered the Stormcloak. "You're speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak, the true High King of Skyrim."

"Ulfric? Jarl of Windhelm? You're the leader of the rebellion!" gasped Lokir.

"They got him!" I jumped. "They got him?" I looked over at the noble man, the sap, The Ulfric Stormcloak.

"But if they've captured you . . . By Talos . . . Where are they taking us?" blubbered Lokir. He was frantically looking about, straining against his bonds.

"I don't know where we're going, but Sovngarde awaits," answered the Stormcloak.

For you maybe, but not for me. I'm an Imperial, not a Nord. No other Imperial will allow his fellow countryman to go to what ever fate these Stormcloaks and that thief were doomed to. I closed my eyes for a second and leaned back. This would all be straightened out soon enough. There would be paper work which would clear my name. I looked down at my rags. They had taken my good clothing, and my horse. And my instruments. AND MY MUSIC. But once things were cleaned up and cleared out, they would open the evidence chest and I would get my stuff back. That was how it was done in Cyrodil, the Empire, and this was part of the Empire, this Skyrim.

"No no! This can't be happening! This isn't happening!"

"Yes it is," I sighed. "Deal with it Lokir. You should have known this was going to be your fate once you picked the career of horse thief. Every hear of a horse thief who died of old age?"

"Hey," said the Stormcloak looking at Lokir. "What village are you from horse-thief?"

"Why do you care?" retorted Lokir.

"A Nord's last thoughts should be of home," suggested the soldier.

I looked at the soldier. He was such a good man. In such a stupid cause. I hated the fact that he was probably going to die shortly. I looked up. The two wagons were heading for a village, it had that pretend gate over the road with that walkway which crossed it. Seemed to me to be a waste of time without a wall. But wait, there was in fact a wall. Small one perhaps, not particularly impressive. Nothing like Chorral or the Imperial City, more like Bravil, no . . . Bravil was still better though this village lacked Bravil's stench.

"Rorikstead," said Lokir. "I'm from Rorikstead."

There had been shouting from the wall while I was musing. Something about a General and a Headsman.

Lokir started crying out to the nine divines begging for assistance, to save him.

"Julianos is the god of justice," I observed. "Why would he help a horse thief like you? Kynareth? She's for fuzzy bunnies . . . I don't know why you are trying to do that. You should be clearing your mind of trying to escape and start thinking about where you're going once you're dead. You're still alive. You still have a few moments to fix it."

"Look at him," sneered the soldier. "General Tulius, the Military Governor. And it looks like the Thalmor are with him. Damn elves. I bet they had something to do with this."

"Not likely," I retorted. "The Thalmor love what you and Jarl Ulfric have done, bleeding the Empire even more so that their next war will be a more complete war of conquest."

I turned to Ulfric.

"You and your anger may have lost any chance we have of the Empire recovering enough to drive the Thalmor back out of Tamriel, condemning all Nords, Bretons, Imperials, Khajiits, Redguards, Bosmer, Dunmer, Orcs, and Argonians to their rule," I accused.

Jarl Ulfric simply ignored me. The soldier opened his mouth to make a retort, but seemed to have thought the better of it. Death was too close for him to be fighting politics.

"This is Helgen," he said to himself. "I used to be sweet on a girl from here." He paused again. "I wonder if Vilod is still making that mead with the Juniper berries mixed in."

Ugh. Mead was horribly sweet and tasted like honey. It was nice for a dessert wine, but to drink it like the Nords, like eating a bowl of sugar, you got sick sooner or later. Juniper would not be a nice combination.

"Funny," continued the soldier. "When I was a boy, Imperial walls and towers used to make me feel safe."

The wagons were pulling up to a tower. There was the headsman with that big long bladed halberd. Behind him the Imperial dragon banner was flying.

"Why are we stopping?" stammered Lokir.

"Why do you think?" answered the soldier. "End of the line. Let's go," he continued as Lokir got more and more violent in his shaking. "Shouldn't keep the gods waiting for us."

"No!" shouted Lokir. "Wait! We're not rebels!"

"Face your death with some courage thief," replied the soldier.

"You've got to tell them! We weren't with you! This is a mistake!"

All the while we were getting out of the wagon. It felt good to be standing again. There is only so much sitting a man can do before his legs start to itch. Or at least mine do. If only I could get these bonds off and stretch my arms. Oh well, once this was all cleared up I would be free to stretch. Never had trouble with the guards before. Got to know plenty of guards in the Imperial City. Might even be one of them here on tour. There were two Imperial soldiers in front of me. A tall quite man, broad and stocky and a woman in officer heavy armor. She was obviously the commander of the detachment. The tall man had a list.

"Step forward when your name is called!" she barked. "One at a time."

"The Empire loves their damn lists," sighed the soldier.

"Yeah, the lists," I replied. "The thing that will clear my name."

"Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Windhelm," snapped the woman who was the captain.

"It has been an honor, Jarl Ulfric," said the soldier.

Damn, I hope I have his serenity when I die. To be facing death like this? I could not help but admire him.

"Ralof of Riverwood," continued the captain.

So that was his name.

"And the same for you Ralof!" I shouted. "I would have loved to have called you friend."

"Lokir of Rorikstead."

"No!" shouted Lokir. He took off running, his bonds in front of him. I shook my head as he dashed down the street.

"Archers!" shouted the captain.

"You're not going to kill me!" were Lokir's last words. Then he was on the ground and silent.

"Wait," said the broad soldier, looking straight at me. "You there. Step forward."

I smiled. Here was where it all got fixed.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Valentine Florian," I replied. "Imperial City, Cyrodiil. My father is Lord Maximus, advisor to the Imperial Council. I was on my way to Skyrim to research local folk music when I ran afoul of your ambush. Sorry about that. Had I known I would have taken another route. As it is, you can check with the Imperial City Records, they'll let you know I'm who I am and as an Imperial, like your captain there," and here I nodded to the Captain. "You naturally know I would not be part of any Stormcloak uprising."

"What should we do Captain?" asked the soldier. It was clear he believed me. Naturally. We Imperials can be very persuasive when we want to be. It's one of the reasons why the Empire has lasted through thousands of years and more than a few apocalyptic events, such as the Warp of the West and the Oblivion Crises. "He's not on the list."

"Forget the list," snapped the Captain.

Wait a moment. That's not what Imperials do.

"He goes to the block," she finished.

It took a second.

"You BITCH!" I shouted. "You damned bitch! I'm not on that list for a reason!"

She drew her sword and pointed it at me.

"What are you going to do?" I snapped back. "Kill me now and save the headsman the trouble? Either way there's an injustice. Damn you woman! I had faith in the Empire!"

It was all a horrible crashing in. I don't recall clearly what happened just next. I sort of stumbled next to Ralof muttering something about wanting his courage too. Then I could hear General Tullius saying " . . . And now the Empire is going to put you down, and restore the peace."

There was then a strange roar on the wind from above. Someone wanted to know if someone else had heard it too, and Tullius was saying that it was nothing.

I was going to die. I was going to die. I was going to die. I kept saying that over and over to myself. I had to accept it. I had to get ready.

Then there was something about last rites and a priestess starting the final blessings before death and then if someone didn't up and spoil that.

"For the love of Talos, shut up, and let's get this over with!" said a Stormcloak soldier walking up to the block.

"Very well," snapped the Priestess.

"Come on!" he continued. "I haven't got all day!"

Damn that man had guts. Damn that man was wise. Getting it over with. Less time for that ache in the stomach to send those horrible feelings of nausea and dizziness throughout the frame. Talos! I want to die like he is. It's the last thing I get to choose in this life and by the Nine, I choose that. Now if I could only stop shaking.

"My ancestors are smiling at me Imperials. Can you say the same?" he asked. He was kneeling before the block now. Having been pushed down by the foot of the captain. It was standard procedure. The axe came down, his head came off, and I watched every last second of it. That guy deserved a full attention audience.

"As fearless in death as he was in life," observed Ralof.

"I want to die like him Ralof," I said. And I looked at him. Ralof looked back at me. We nodded to each other.

"Next, the Imperial!" ordered the Captain.

"It's Valentine!" I shouted back.

"I said," she said. "Next Prisoner!"

"To the block Valentine," said the broad soldier gently. "Nice and easy."

Yeah, he was a decent man.

"I've got a couple of goodbyes to make first," I replied. "Like are you going to kill me if I wait until then?"

They had no answer to that of course.

I turned to Ralof.

"We should have been brothers," I said.

Then I turned to Ulfric.

"I said you were wrong," I started. "And I don't believe otherwise. Talos is one of the nine. But the Empire had a choice, to let the Thalmor live with that delusion or go down in blood and fire. My father lost friends in the sack of the Imperial City, and Titus signed that treaty struggling to not vomit into the Thalmor embassies faces. Now that we are ripping each other to shreds, we are giving the Thalmor more time to regain their strength and finish the job they set out to do. Namely destroy us all."

He merely glared at me.

"But I can no longer hate you for that. I can now understand the anger and frustration you have no doubt felt. I'm sorry I said anything." Then I turned. "I am an Imperial!" I shouted. "And not just any Imperial. The very blood of Tiber Septim runs in my veins! But since the Empire sees fit to not recognize that . . . From now until my head flies off this body, I LIVE AND BREATH A STORMCLOAK!"

I bowed to Ulfric. His eyes seemed to soften a bit. And then I turned and walked over to the block, and got on my knees and bent over. I wasn't going to give that Captain any excuse to wipe her boots off of my backside. For that brief moment, filled with the drama of the thing, I had managed to forget I was about to die. Then it all came back, that horrible gnawing in the pit of my stomach. I hated that feeling. I was so damn scared.

There was that strange grinding roar on the wind again.

I looked up at the headman who was raising his axe.

And if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I would have called anyone else who said what they saw utterly out of their skull.

The biggest blackest, spiniest dragon I had ever seen, well . . . To tell the truth I had never actually seen a dragon before . . . Except as a picture hanging over this really fun bar in the Imperial City. He had just flown in between two large mountains, glided gracefully over to the top of the tower behind the chopper himself, and landed wrapping his jointed wings over the sides of that very tower. Damn that creature was HUGE. And then General Tullius was screaming "What in Oblivion is that?"

"Dragon!" screamed some other woman, expressing in her tone more than just the passing observation of the local fauna.

That dragon opened it's mouth and said something.

"RO DA!"

And the sky was filled with boiling ugly dark clouds and flaming bolts fell from them. I was suddenly on the ground, my face in the rocks, and above me was the end of the world.

"Hey Valentine! Get up! The Gods won't give us another chance like this?" It was Ralof grabbing my shoulder and trying to pull me back up.

The Gods? The Gods are presently destroying the world and you think we're going to escape? Besides everything is fuzzy, my eyes refuse to focus, what in Oblivion is happening, oh yeah, when the world ends it's supposed to be all blurry and hot and hard to hear anything with all the screams of the terrified and dying.

He's trying to get me to run to a tower. I've got nothing better to do, die from the great flaming balls which are falling from the sky or from the falling rocks in a collapsing tower. I've been pounded. I've been burned. I pick pound. I follow him. Damn I wish I could see. Damn I wish my hands weren't tied up. Damn I wish I had tried to kiss that cute little Bosmer that worked for dad back a few years ago. Strange what sorts of thoughts run through your head when everyone around you is dying horribly. I run.

We were inside, someone was gently closing the door. Like that's going to help?

Ralof is speaking. "Jarl Ulfric! What is that thing? Could the legends be true?"

"Legends don't burn down villages," Ulfric observes. He looks at me for a second.

"Your head is still attached I see," he observes.

Oh damn. I made that vow.

The dragon outside is still happily playing the Apocalyptic Elder Scrolls Foretold God of Destruction part he's picked for himself.

"We need to move! NOW!" He finishes.

"Up through the tower!" Shouts Ralof. "Let's go."

You know, when the world is going boom, running up a few stories is not the normal sort of sane thing you do. You go to the basement, the cellar, you kiss mother earth and try to bury yourself in it. So why did I run up those stairs? I could conclude that it was the power of Ralof's suggestion. To tell the truth, neither of us were thinking particularly clearly at that juncture. So when that bit of wall explodes in and that big black dragon sticks his face into it I must confess I wet my pants. There's only so much stress that a man can take before his body tells him to screw the loving potty training his mother once gave him. Then of course that dragon, seeing my plight, offers to blow dry my clothing for me. Well, actually I don't think he was being courteous. It was a very hot blow dry you see, mostly flame which left the Stormcloak in front of me a smoking crispy. And so I'm finding myself looking out of a dragon face sized hole and the burning inn beneath me.

"You see the Inn on the other side? Jump through the roof and keep going!" shouts Ralof.

There's fire down there . . . My hands are bound. I can't keep my balance! Oh Oblivion! Screw it, the world's ending and I'm going to die anyway so I might as well die by falling. I leapt and ended up hitting one of those nice double beds with straw and furs who's owner had responsibly tightened up the rope reinforcements underneath and so I bounced and managed to land with both my feet on the floor.

I swear Sheogorath is looking down on me from his palace in the Shivering Isles and has selected me for this week's Mess With Puny Mortal Minds show. I look about. The Inn is only a bit on fire so there's still plenty to grab. Of course my hands are bound, and there's mead just laying about. Yes yes yes I know what I said about mead but at that juncture I really wanted to get drunk and didn't give a flying freak what went down the gullet.

I worked my way down the inn and found that the stairs had gone. Then I got to jump again and found that I was outside and the world had not ended, just yet, it had merely gotten a bit more shabby in the locale. Of course the dragon was still flying around and incinerating everything he could, and then I saw that decent soldier who had stood next to the Bitch Captain. He got a young boy to run to him, passed him off to another man and then turned to face me.

"Valentine? You still alive? Follow me if you wish to stay that way!" he said.

Of course I was going to follow him. We wove our way through the burning village. That black lizard tried to belly flop on us but a wall got into the way and we hid under it for a second while the dragon transformed the rubble and wall blockage in front of us into a nice ash covered pathway for skedaddling like Oblivion itself was after us out of there. We proceeded in our Run Like Our Asses Are On Fire tactic.

Then there was this touching meeting between two villagers who had known each other since childhood.

"Ralof! You Traitor! Outta my way!"

"Hadvar! You're not stopping us this time. We're escaping!"

"Fine! I hope you all burn in Oblivion!"

I turned to the broad gentle soldier, Hadvar. Around me, people were trying to kill that dragon and that dragon was likewise returning the favor, albeit way more successfully. So for a very strange second, with a falling body impacting the ground behind him, I looked at Hadvar and tried to convey my respect for him.

"I'm sorry," I said. "You're a good man. But I have to go with Ralof."

"Fine!" he snapped.

I didn't know if I would ever meet Hadvar again. But I hoped by all the nine that if I did, it wouldn't be on opposite sides of a battle line. Ralof and I dashed into a tower complex together. There was chaos outside and that was reflected inside this building. For by the table of this large round room with two grilled blocked exits, was another Stormcloak soldier. Dead. Ralof recognized him but told me to avail myself of his gear as he would not longer be needing it while he sliced off the bonds which had remained on me up to this moment.

I shook my head and I gratefully waved my hands about and stretched my arms.

"I don't wear armor," I explained. "It gets in the way of my . . ." and I held up my hands and let the fire begin to dance around my finger tips.

"Mage eh?" observed Ralof, showing that Nord distrust of the arcane. "Well, who am I to judge?" he concluded.

I nodded to him and helped myself to the boots and gloves. I may not care for armor, but good boots and gloves are always welcome. Then I was able to avail myself of a nice steel dagger. That was about all I was able to master in terms of hand to hand. A dagger just to hold them off when I had exhausted my mana for my fire. No bow and arrows unfortunately. Problem with my fire was that it was rather short in rage. Great for planting a nice hot orange blossom in the face of an opponent, but rotten if they knew how to stay away from you. And likewise, get an arrow or two off against a bearzerker mudcrab, and it saves the mana for something a bit more troublesome, like a bear or big cat.

Yes yes I know I said I did not study fighting when my mother made me do it. But that was before my wanderings. Since those days I had picked up quite a few skills, mostly superficial of course, but things which kept the septims flowing into my pouch. I had lived a nice life. It was hard at times to sleep in the back of a barn. But I've been rich, I've been poor. Rich is better, or at least a tad more convenient, but there are advantages to being poor. For starters the thieves ignore you. And likewise, you keep starting out with nothing, or keep ending up with nothing, you learn how to turn nothing into something. And in my wanderings, I had ended up with a lot of nothings at times.

Then we heard her, that bitch captain, and another Imperial approaching. Ralof and I promptly hid on either side of the door. Hadvar was not with her, thank the nine. We let into them with all the enthusiasm we could muster. She recognized me she did, before her face was filled with my flames. I was angry, more angry than I could ever recall. Now lest you think I burned her face off, the trick with a gout of steady flame in the face isn't so much the burning, though there is that. The real thing is that fire burns away that essence in the local air which we need to breath in order to live. You fall to the ground, breathless when you are attacked like that. And of course your clothing on fire provides more than a little distraction.

So when she was on the floor her face had not been scarred for life. Singed eyebrows of course, and one really messed up hairdo, but otherwise, she would live. If I had decided on that. I was on top of her looking right into her eyes with my right hand holding her down by the throat and my left hand pointing the dagger at her face.

"Mercy!" she whimpered.

"Forget the list," I replied in a slow low tone. "He goes to the block."

I waited just long enough for her eyes to register that she understood.

And then the dagger came down.

In my travels, I've killed a bunch of people. I lost track long ago. I killed them because I had to. I didn't get up that morning and say, "It's a nice day, I think I'll kill a bandit and take their stuff." No, I got up and tried to do what I always did, pay the innkeeper, hang around town, asked about local tunes and music. Hear the local musicians sing. Write down what I heard, learn some of it, and in short, do what I had set out to do. But when the money was scarce, and no one wanted to hear me sing or play, or my instruments had yet again been lost in some unforeseen disaster or another, I would avail myself of an old Alyed or Dwemer ruin, check out that old abandoned Imperial fort, help a local lord take down a bandit king, in short, earn my keep so I might travel to the next spot on the map and hear the music there. I didn't like killing people. They often had hopes and dreams as well. And like Ralof and Hadvar, they were all so decent and honorable most of the time.

But her? I never regretted killing her. Of all the enemies I've fought that were human or mer. She's one of the very few that I am convinced actually deserved it. Even so I did grant her mercy in a sense. If you plunge the dagger at the top of the shoulder at the base of the throat, it goes right down the center of the body and strikes the heart. That kills you almost instantly. She barely had time to feel the pain of the blade before she was in Aetherius.

From there it was a simple Get The Oblivion Out of Here process. We worked our way through the keep's under pathways, killed a torturer and his assistant, a few more imperials later and then to top it off, there was a frost spider nest and the den of a bear. I finally was able to find a longbow and some arrows. And there was a cart full of wine. I'm not sure why it was there, in the middle of the bear's den, but it was still good and I didn't begrudge it. After all, good wine fetches a nice price with the innkeepers since you can barter it for a night's sleep. Two to three bottles is all that it takes normally.

And then we were out of there. We ducked as the big black lizard flew overhead heading off to The Nine knows where and then Ralof suggested two things. The first, that I join the Stormcloaks. The second, I accompany him to Riverwood where his sister Gerdur and her husband Hod ran the local wood mill and would give us aid and sustenance.

That oath . . . That BLOODY Oath. I was bound and I knew it. But just because I swore myself a Stormcloak did not immediately or necessarily obligate me to fight Imperials. I was working hard on figuring out how I might keep that oath and at the same time not have to run off to Solitude and overthrow Jarl Elisif and General Tullius. Just the same, for a brief second I kind of wished that the headsman had taken off my head before that dragon had landed. But in the meantime, Riverwood was maybe an afternoon's walk away and there would be a bed and food. I needed a good meal. And I had wine in a backpack I had appropriated in the 'interrogation' chambers, and a book, The Tale of the Dragonborn. Something to read when I had nothing better to do. Steel dagger? Check. Longbow? Check. Arrows? Check. Backpack with wine and book? Check, and this silly key which opened a door in the tower in what was now a smoldering ruin which used to be called Helgen. Oh well, maybe a souvenir? No matter, I can toss it later if I wish, or play that old trick of sticking it in a barrel for some other sap to discover one day and then wonder which lock it fitted.

I love mind games.

Ralof was busy pointing out the sights we could see from the trail, including an old Nordic ruin on the a ridge of the mountains across the river. It was a beautiful day and I let him talk. Soon we would be in Riverwood, there would be hot food, maybe I could find a tailor to make me a nice suit of clothes, an inn to play in for a few septims, and some rest. I needed rest. Life was looking up now. The worst was no doubt over.

And so we walked down the trail, got on a cobblestone road that ran along that clear crisp river filled with salmon and I figured life was good again. What ever would happen tomorrow, it couldn't be worse than what had happened today.

I'm such a naive idiot at times.


	2. Chapter 2 - A Song For Sofia

I woke up in a bed. It wasn't the best sort of bed around, nothing like the stuffed feather matresses which you can find in Cyrodiil in even most of the inns. Granted, the mattresses in Cyrodiil can be quite dirty or at least so old as to be grey, but they were still mattresses. Here it was just a pile of hay on a wood frame with rope bindings and covered in animal skins, but it was good enough and preferable to the cold hard ground. Ralof had been good on his word. Gerdur his sister and her husband Hod had given us both hospitality and that included good food and a comfortable bed to sleep in. So I spent three days in that village doing odd jobs, mostly with the blacksmith Aldor, trying to earn a few septums so I might be able to do the big favor they really wanted me to perform for them, specifically get to Whiterun and warn Jarl Balgruuf of the dragon.

So after three days, having sung a few songs in the inn for the innkeeper, a woman named Delphine, I set out for Whiterun. That involved crossing a bridge over the river, then turning to the northeast and following the river for a few miles. The elevation gradually declined. I was getting lower and lower into the tundra of Skyrim and finally turned to the west as the road reached a T intersection. It was a smaller stream I was now following and passed a mead brewery and then found myself on the edge of a very large farm where a giant was busy 'amusing' a pack of warriors. By now the sun was setting and I was getting tired of traveling so I just stood and watched the fight for a bit since the four warriors, two guys and two girls, seemed more than capable of handing this giant. I was rather impressed quite frankly. When a giant hits you, it's not unusual to find yourself flying for a few hundred yards, almost half of it in an upward direction. Needless to say, you invariably don't finish the trip alive. These folks were ducking and weaving like they actually knew what they were doing. After about three or four minutes the giant was dead and I walked up to them. The older of the two women, which was a relative term since she looked like she was an adult as opposed to the other girl who looked as if she was still under the age of twenty, walked up to me and said something along the lines of . . .

"Well that was a victory, no thanks to you."

"It didn't look like you needed any help," I observed.

"A true warrior would have relished the chance to test their mettle," she retorted.

"A wise warrior knows when to fight and more importantly, not to fight," I replied.

She snorted and walked off.

The two men looked at me briefly.

"And you two are?" I asked.

"We're members of the companions," one of them offered. "And when the pay is good, we fight for glory and honor.'

"Ah, the Fighter's Guild," I replied.

Both men gave me a look which suggested I had just proposed that they were the children of a drunk orc and a Breton shepherd's prize ewe. It was my cue to wander on. It was getting late. The sun had set, the twilight was fading and it was clear I was not going to make it to the gate before curfew was called.

Now I could have probably negotiated my way into the city after curfew but then you have to hope that the inn had rooms. And I had never been to Whiterun before and had no clue what I would find there. So, eyeing the stable I opted for the bail of hay bed. Stables are not the nicest place to sleep in, but ironically, the hay is rather clean when you consider the cold hard ground. And you can really bury yourself into it and it's rather warm then. The smell is not bad once you get used to it. Finally, the hay is always in a state of gradual and slow decay. And while vegetation rots, even slowly, it generates heat. I'm being quite honest here. Bury yourself in the stuff and you keep warm. Farmers can't be too careful however. Store it piled high and some hot summer's day later, hay bales have been known to spontaneously combust. So I headed into the stable and made my way for the hay pile and sure enough there it was. Problem was someone else had already gotten my idea.

Now there comes a point where you have to look at the situation and suspect it is simply too good to be true. Or at least you would if you were not suffering from a peculiar eye dazzle which I will presently explain the reason for. Because it wasn't just anyone who was sleeping in that pile of hay. There was a very cute pair of feet with small well spaced toes, two very shapely calves, a set of thighs which were toned enough to betray no hint of flab, a very nice rounded set of hips, a flat belly, two perfectly proportioned breasts, neither too big or flat, beautiful shoulders, graceful neck, and then we get to the face.

The face wasn't just perfect, it was the face of a goddess. If Dibella was wanting to get my attention, she had succeeded with the professional acumen which only comes from being divine. There was a pouty set of lips, button nose, and a mass of thick black hair which fell all over the place. And a light sprinkle of freckles under the eyes to go with the combo.

And as you might have guessed, given my very detailed description of her feminine physic, she wasn't wearing much. And she was sound asleep. And never in my life had I experienced something like this before. I mean I've read of stuff like this happening, but I never believed it would happen, at least of all to me. No, this sort of thing happens to heroes, handsome suave charming fellows with chiseled faces and bright shining steel armor, the sort the noble fops of Cheydenhal wear. So naturally I wanted to get to know this woman and since I had a perfectly valid reason for being there. I decided to wake her up and ask if I could have some of the hay to sleep in. And once she had seen me sleep next to her, the perfect gentleman without laying a single hand upon her, she would conclude that I was a decent dude and we could get to at least know each other's names, professions, and her address.

"Hey," I said gently. "I don't want to wake you up, but I need to sleep here tonight and might you be willing to part with half of this hay pile so I can sleep over in that corner there?"

I really wanted to assure her that I wasn't going to try anything. I mean when you are a young girl, almost naked, and asleep in a barn, you don't want some strange guy coming up giving you suggestive hints. At least I don't think you do. I've never actually been a nearly naked young girl asleep in a barn so I'm going on common sense here. Her eyes fluttered, and they were the nice big sort, which went perfectly with the rest of the face arrangement so she was even more drop dead gorgeous as a consequence. And then she began to speak as she sat up, and reached for her forehead.

"Mmmm, What? Where am I? Ugh my head. Oh! It's you! I mean what? No I've never seen you before. I have no idea who you are. It's not like I've been stalking you or anything."

And the magic was gone.

Now this is the part where the smart intelligent person backs away slowly. The problem was, while I knew I should be backing away slowly, part of me was very much wanting to close in slowly. I mean this is one incredibly good looking girl right here, the sort that I never had gotten up the nerve to talk to before, you know the type, so damn good looking you immediately exempt yourselves from the running since you know half a dozen guys who are way better than you at doing all the stuff that young girls go all gah gah over. Remember how I wished I had kissed that cute Bosmer back in da's estate? Same feeling. She was simply too good looking and I was an ordinary human guy who had a fear of heights. But having nearly had my head cut off and a big black dragon destroying a village around me had given me a sense of perspective. That was simply still too fresh. Here was my chance to make up for the lost Bosmer kiss. It's not as if I didn't start to back up, my mind was desperately telling the rest of my body that I needed to run screaming, but another part of my body was very pointedly observing that she had liked me enough to want to track me down and she was presenting an almost full vista of her feminine qualities which were practically perfect.

It was clear that she was observant when it came to the body language part. She saw I was starting to back up.

"No wait! Don't leave! I'm injured. Yes! I'm injured! And you have to take me with you otherwise I might die and you wouldn't want that on your conscious?"

You know, if she had just smiled sweetly and nodded from the second she had begun waking up, I would have been entirely smitten and followed her around like a puppy doing the duh duh de duh routine. But I had experienced enough of life that this was going to be addressed and promptly. And it while it was a mental backing away slowly, it likewise engaged her which meant I didn't have to run screaming just quite yet.

"Injured?" I observed. "Oh dear. I'm going to have to examine this injury. I have some medical skill. But I'm kind of at a loss. It does not seem to be visible right now and given how much of you I can observe, it must be in some very well concealed, not to mention embarrassing, part of your body."

She was back like a shot. Or tried to. The bolt kept tripping over the air currants as it were.

"Yea well that's because . . . Ok fine, if you take me with you I will make it worth your while. You won't find anyone tougher than me in Skyrim. Not to mention as good looking."

I wasn't going to argue with the good looking part. Tougher? Well her mouth was big and brassy, but I've yet to see words deflect a two handed sword. Here was my chance to say no. But that face . . . that neck . . . those shoulders . . . that great pair of . . . well you get the idea. All I had to do was make sure she didn't talk and the fantasy could be revived.

"I could use the company," I suggested. I decided on the low key approach for reasons which, in retrospect made no sense what so ever. I was still thinking she was a sweet little innocent thing underneath this initial bombast.

"Is that it?" she asked. "Aren't you going to flex your muscles and tell me how great you are? That seems to be the customary greeting in Skyrim."

"Well for starters I come from Cyrodiil and we don't go around flexing our muscles," I observed. She seemed curiously belligerent given she was the one who was in the embarrassing situation of being caught. "And even if we did, I'm mostly a mage and I play with fire to impress the gullible. I suppose . . ."

"Anyway there's no suppose about it. Everyone could use someone a little more like me," she asserted.

"Everyone?" I replied with a slight grin. "You mean you would have said what you said if I had turned out to be a big fat ugly pimple faced Orc named Splurtz Flatulence from Cheydenhall making a skooma delivery?"

That had rendered her speechless for the moment. I looked at her and smiled and that seemed to put her at ease.

"Well," she admitted. "I was hoping you would kind of keep me company. Look I know it sounds weird but it's no fun on my own. You can tell me to leave if you want but surely you can at least give me a chance?"

"Sure," I said. "Help me make a pile of hay for myself and you'll be an official member of the Valentine Bardic Retinue."

She opened her mouth, and her expression suggested she was ready with a sarcastic reply to that, but she clamped her mouth shut and she stood up and helped me make a second hay bale in the opposite corner. All this time, she made no move to dress herself. But as I scanned the area, I began to suspect that she had not undressed and put her clothes in some corner. Rather, she had undressed in some spot she was no longer capable of remembering and was as of yet, unconcerned. I wasn't sure about this girl, but I was simply too incapable of resisting someone that pretty.

I flopped down on the hay and looked at the ceiling. There were the usual component of spiders and their webs, but they were busy for the most part with maintenance. After that stunning introduction, I wasn't exactly sleepy and well I wanted to get to know her better. Yes yes yes I know I said if I could keep her quiet the fantasy could be revived but . . . Never mind.

"Well I've told you my name," I observed. "Valentine Florian in full. My friends call me Val, and you might as well too."

"Oh I haven't introduced myself have I?" She observed.

"Not yet," I replied.

"My name is Sofia but you probably already knew that."

"Being famous and all?"

"Yes, I'm quite well known in Skyrim, although sometimes I'm not sure it's for the right reasons. I kind of see myself as an adventurer although it's no fun without anyone to witness my heroic deeds such as . . ." She was somewhat quiet for a couple of seconds. "Well I'm sure there's probably something. I like to get drunk, kill stuff and be a nuisance. So what about you?"

"I'm a collector of music on his way to the Bardic College of Solitude," I replied. Since she seemed more of the brawling drinking type, I got curious as to why she had seemed to have been following me. "So why were you looking for me?"

"What makes you think I was looking for you?" came back the reply with just a hint of accusation.

"You said so."

"Damn it," she grumbled. She'd been caught. She knew it. But she remained silent for the time being.

I turned my head to look over to her. She was on her side, somewhat curled up. She gave me a rather annoyed look back. I kept finding that a mystery. Just what was it that had happened which had so tossed her about? "The next question I have is this . . . Where are your clothes?"

"What?! Ugh I have no idea. My memory is a little fuzzy. If you happen to have any I would appreciate it. Oh and stop staring at my body. It's like you've never seen a semi-naked woman before."

Well to be frank, I hadn't . . . Really. Short of some childhood memories of my sisters and being they were pre-adolescent when it happened it wasn't exactly that enlightening a view. And damn she looked good. I mean if this was what a woman looked like nearly naked . . . Well let's just say I was quite interested in the potential. But really now, admitting that to her at this juncture would have been rather embarrassing. I could just see her sit up and giggle and do something along the lines of "You mean you've never seen a girl do this?" and shake her shoulders at me. Or at least that was what I had heard could happen. I had not experienced that either but my brother Aurelian had made mention of a few incidents when he and his friends with their girlfriends and wives had been having a bit to much to drink at one of the local Imperial watering holes. Being around him had a way of making me feel like I had missed out on an awful lot of stuff that, now that I am old enough to reflect upon, would have made me a very good target for blackmail.

Would this girl, Sofia, have done that? Well you'll figure that out soon enough as the tale is told.

I sat up, and pulled my rather dingy shirt off. It was the only shirt I had, having lost everything when the Imperial Evidence Box had been somewhat burned up by that big black spiny dragon during his "I'm the apocalyptic god of destruction" phase in Helgen. Gerdur had pointed out a local seamstress in Riverwood who had made the shirt for me after I had chopped up enough wood for the week's cooking. I also had a cloak and gloves, but tomorrow morning we would be in Whiterun and I knew how to get clothes.

"Here you go," I said holding it out for display. And being that I had my suspicions about her behavior I continued with. "Come and get it."

She half lunged and then caught herself. It was as I had suspected. I had been a horribly naive young lad in Cyrodil. I had missed out on several young girls who's eyes had been caught. When your father is rich and you get to dress nice you would be amazed at how many young lasses decide they want to get to know you. Looks have nothing to do with it. Then I had started to travel and sure enough, I had learned to pick up the signals. Unfortunately I was always traveling, never staying any place long enough to take advantage of the young girl infatuation with the musical traveling bard fellow attribute. Here was one however, who had tracked me down. She just didn't want to admit it to herself that she was attracted to me. Which is rather funny when you think about it.

"No," she said, rather imperiously if you ask me, "You give it to me."

"But," I countered. "If I give it to you, you're going to put it on and cover up that really nice physique you have which is looking very soft and sensual in the moonlight. Why would I want to do that?"

"YOU ARE SUCH A PERVERT!"

"Okay, YOU get drunk then YOU take off your clothes, no doubt in front of a pile of guys, and you call ME a pervert!" I finished, somewhat annoyed.

"Am I not allowed out on my own now? I had a little too much to drink. So what? I guess I must have passed out. I hope I didn't cause too much trouble. Actually I'm not really that bothered."

"So why would you be bothered that I'm admiring your body?"

"Damn it, give me that shirt!"

"Say, 'Please dearest Valentine, give me your shirt so my adorable body won't be so distracting to you and fill your mind with thoughts of making love to me under the moonlight on this pile of hay.'"

She lunged and the wrestling match for the shirt had begun. A match I firmly intended to lose, but I also intended to have a little fun while losing.

She was rather strong, and in an entirely feminine way too. Like any other girl her strength was primarily in her legs while I had the advantage with the arms, but she knew how to use her legs and I, alas, was not particularly practiced with my arms. I was not a wrestler in my youth. So in about thirteen or so seconds she had the shirt and she had slammed her knee into my sternum and I spent the next few seconds gasping for breath like a dying fish all cured up to boot . . . Pun intended. She had that rather pouty smug look on her face as she donned the shirt.

"You are an Imperial," she noted. And then she proceeded to put a rather arrogant slur into her voice and said, "Halt, you need to fill out this piece of paper before you can pass because I will chop your head off and give it to the Thalmor . . ."

"So are you," I replied.

"I am a NORD!" she proclaimed.

"Nah," I replied. The sternum kick, as you might have observed, had taught me nothing about what she was capable of. "Your hair is too black, your face is too southern, and your mouth is too narrow and your lips are too pouty puffy cute to be a Nord."

"What about my boobs, you didn't mention my boobs."

"Just the right size," I said. Then I began to chuckle nervously. This was simply too damn funny.

"For a Nord?"

"No, an Imperial. If they were Nord, they would be bigger than your mouth."

She didn't lunge again. She simply snorted and flopped down on the hay.

"Nighty Night," I suggested.

"Shut up, Valentine," she replied.

I lay back down.

"Tomorrow," I said, "We'll go into Whiterun, I'll get you and me something nice to wear. Then I'll make us some armor. Might take a few days. Oh . . . I have one errand I have to run. I need to speak to Jarl Balgruuf. Riverwood is asking for aid and I'm the messenger for them."

"So you're off to see the Jarl of Whiterun then?"

"Yes," I replied.

"They wouldn't let me into Dragonsreach. Apparently I wasn't important enough. But with you I might get away with it as long as they don't remember that incident when a criminal escaped because I was . . . distracting the guards."

"Was this before or after you had lost your clothes?"

"Can't remember."

"Well if even if you can't fight, which I suspect you can, you are definitely going to be entertaining on the road," I mused. Yes, I admit, I was still thinking with the nether regions of my body and not with my head.

I was finally starting to feel sleepy and so I closed my eyes and tried to settle down. I had no idea how important that shirt had been. It was cold that night. And there was not enough hay to keep me warm by a long shot. Sofia was shortly asleep again herself and started to snore. So when I did finally fall asleep, it was fitful and uncomfortable. But when I woke up the next morning, she was sitting in the corner looking at me.

"About time you got up," she suggested.

"You could have woken me up?" I suggested. "You know, snuggled up next to me, whispered sweetly in my ear . . ."

"Punched you in the stomach again?"

"That would have worked too," I admitted with a grin. I was simply in too good a mood. There she was, with that cute little button nose, waiting for me to wake up. It was like I had a real girlfriend, after all these years. So what if she needed a serious spanking and maturity potion. So what if I was aching and sleepy. So even though I was dressed in a pair of boots, pants, belt, gloves, and cloak, and she was sitting there in my shirt, I was ready to take on the world. And the world, once it had gotten it's breath back from laughing so hard, would have promptly smushed me. So it was a good thing I didn't. We left the stable while she simply smugly ignored the stares which were directed at us. After all, my shirt only covered the upper quarter of her thighs and was slit on both sides somewhat higher. Nothing in particular was on display but there was no doubt her underwear was rather abbreviated.

"Halt," suggested the guard. "The Jarl has ordered the city closed with the dragon about."

"I didn't do it!" argued Sofia.

"I know," I said to the guard. But not before I tilted my head in Sofia's direction and rolled my eyes. The expression of course was for the guard. "I was in Helgen." I finished.

"You were in Helgen?" queried the Guard, somewhat surprised. "You are admitted. The Jarl will want to speak to you personally."

I nodded and walked in with Sofia.

I took a quick look at the street before me. There was the guard house directly to my left, and it was the only building in sight which had a flat roof. No doubt the perfect place to shoot arrows from should anyone break through the main gate. Beyond that was a tavern called The Drunken Huntsman. Then on the right was not just a black-smithy, but a smelter as well. But the blacksmith wasn't a man, it was a woman and she was in an argument with an Imperial. Or at least I could conclude by the armor he was wearing. There was a debate over an order and her objections that she couldn't turn out the items fast enough. The conversation ended with him suggesting he would rather bend his knee to Ulfric Stormcloak and I made my move.

"Hello?" I queried to the woman. I had heard him call her Adrianne. "I am in need of some help and if you are going to need some help meeting that order, I know a bit about smith work and will be happy to assist in exchange for clothing and leather and a bit of iron."

"Why . . ." Began Adrianne who was looking at this couple sharing a single set of clothing.

"Well my wife and I were set upon by thieves and . . ."

"WIFE?" snorted Sofia. "Like anyone is going to believe that?"

I sighed and looked back at Sofia.

"A bit new to the survival game are we?" I asked her rather condescendingly.

She realized she had opened her mouth when she shouldn't have and sighed a single "Damn it."

I turned back to Adrianne.

"I suppose I had better tell the truth now shouldn't I?"

"Yes," she said. "If you want me trusting you enough to assist me in the shop, not that I won't be extra careful watching you anyway.

"Okay, here's what happened," I said. "I was on my way from the Imperial City towards Solitude when I was attacked by Imperial Soldiers who mistook me for the horse thief I was riding besides. I was taken to Helgen and with my head on the executioner's block, a big black dragon flew in and started to blow the place up. Since the guard was distracted, I made a run for it. Then just when I think I'm about to be killed, in comes Ulfric with his Stormcloaks who rescue me and get me safely to Riverwood. From there I walked to Whiterun where I found this woman naked and asleep and it was love at first sight so I agreed to share my clothes with her and here we are."

Adrianne paused and looked at the two of us. Her head tilted just a little and her mouth remained just a smidgeon open.

"It's true I swear!" offered Sofia.

"Mister and Misses?" suggested Adrianne.

"Florian," I answered. "Valentine and Sofia Florian."

"Come with me," said Adrianne.

We walked over to the forge and I turned to Sofia who had a curious look on her face. It was a sort of uncertain biting of the lower lip while the fire of her spirit remained brightly burning in her eyes, threatening to incinerate anything which got too close. It was such a curious expression I had to pause before I could say what I had intended to say initially.

"The first rule in the survival game is this," I said to her. "The truth is always stranger than fiction. So when the truth is really strange? Come up with a very mundane fiction. Besides," I continued. "Why would anyone not believe it when a man calls a woman his wife and she nods her head in agreement?"

"Well, when you are as good looking as me, you can't possibly be married," she replied.

I will admit, she had a point . . . somewhat. But not entirely. Hindsight has since told me that we had none of the signals which a person could pick up that would have suggested we were married. There wasn't the constant affection which newlyweds express towards each other, nor was there the totally at ease posturing which more long term marital relationships have.

Adrianne put me through the paces and while it was clear I could not do steel, I was familiar enough with leather and iron and hide that I could make sufficient items of fine enough quality to work for the Imperials who would be needing these for the war effort. There were several types of light Imperial Armor I could craft and I could make iron arrows. Sofia could not help in the smithy so I had her gather up the cloth we would need and when I could, I instructed and assisted her in the art of cutting patterns and sewing clothing. Eventually I was able to craft a set of combination clothing and armor for her, a decent set of garb I could wear for daily wanderings, and we both had a nice set of clothing which we could relax in when we were not trudging through the underbrush and tundra. One week after I had started at the smithy, Adrianne was more capable of handing the remaining orders, thanks to my assistance, and grateful that I had found the time to deliver a present from her to the Jarl through her father. I was ready, but more importantly able, to move on. She was not entirely happy that we were going. Cheap labor is hard to come by, especially when it turns out to be honest. An ironic statement I freely admit given that we started out on a lie, but there are lies, and then there are damned lies, and then there are Imperial Proclamations. But I had to leave because the Jarl had sent me to his wizard Farengar who wanted me to go back to Riverwood and into Bleakfalls Barrow where there was supposed to be this Dragon Stone I was to retrieve.

So one Turdas morning, in the last third of Last Seed, Sofia and I walked out of Whiterun and headed back up the road towards Riverwood. I was in a nice blue long shirt and pants with calf boots and she was in a nice burgundy outfit with black leather vest and skirt. Her hair was in a pony tail which draped over her shoulder and her eyes were big and bright. She was looking, as I had observed prior, quite beautiful. I tried to tell her so, but her replies were always along the lines of "I know" and "of course" and that kind of took the fun out of it. But I was feeling confidant. I had been able to secure a two new spells from Farengar who had agreed to sell them to me cheap after I delivered some refined frost salts to Arcadia the Alchemist who, unbeknownst to Farengar, was going to mix them into a love potion she was planning to slip into his drink the next time they were together. Sofia would not leave the shop until after Arcadia promised she would tell all once the potion had been administered.

"Seriously Sofia," I began after we had walked out of the shop.

"It'll be a hoot!" argued Sofia. "It would have been even funnier if I had thought to suggest she add a laxative to the potion."

Suffice to say, the spells would enable me to conjure a magical barrier around me and likewise terrify any undead who would happen to be in the Barrow. Drauger were apparently, a problem in Nord Burial Mounds.

And so there I was. On my way back to Riverwood, a beautiful woman at my side, and new spells to try out and just a dive into an old Nord ruin where there would be, no doubt, a bit of treasure to secure which could be sold. I'd soon have my money and instruments back, and then I could proceed to collect more music. And if I could keep Sofia with me long enough, maybe, just maybe, she'd be honest enough to admit to herself that she and I would be a great team and well after that . . . I wondered just what sort of lover she would be. Would that confidence translate in the bed chamber?

Not that I actually knew anything about that. Remember, at this point, I had never kissed a girl before.

Really, I can be a very naive twit at times.


	3. Chapter 3 - A Song For Camilla

"Victory or Sovengard!" screamed the Brigand charging at me with that long nasty two handed sword.

Backpedal backpedal backpedal Talos! I hope I don't trip over a rock. I was throwing as much fire into his face as possible but I could not master that two hand cup which was supposed to make the fire three times as hot and deadly. His sword was lifted and I was thinking I was going to die because in spite of my Oaken Flesh spell I knew that sword would only pause to scratch it's armpit when it hit that spell barrier before cleaving my body.

"I don't want to boast but I'm superior to you in every way!" observed Sofia as she deftly put a foot into the charging brigand's hip. He staggered and lost his balance and his sword went down and I was able to shift to the right. "Why am I deceiving myself I LOVE TO BOAST!" continued Sofia as she unleashed her own fire into the Brigand's face. I finally got the cup right and the two of us finished him off.

I paused to pant and calm down. That one had scared me. The Oaken Flesh spell had done very nice against daggers and iron swords, but once the sword was steel or the weapon was two handed it wasn't much good. But it was the best I could master at this point. I had thought I was pretty hot. I had thought my flames and heal spell had it all covered. But these Nords were a bit tougher than the trouble makers I had encountered in Cyrodiil. I had already taken a few slices but had always been able to fix it with a quick heal spell. I was beginning to wonder if I would need some form of armor. But in the meantime, this fellow had to be relieved of his armor, and sword. It was this stuff that was paying the bills as it were.

"Sofia?" I said. "Open your backpack for this hide."

"Why must I hump all this to please you?" she snapped. "I mean hump in the carrying kind and not the other kind before your dirty mind gets any ideas?"

"You want to trade backpacks?" I offered. "And I'll put it in yours since it will be on my back."

She pressed her mouth and crossed her arms. She knew I had filled up my pack first and was now filling hers second.

"FINE!" she offered. "But when we get back you owe me SUCH a foot rub."

"Oh all right," I replied with an exaggerated sigh. Given any excuse to put my hands on her I naturally had no intention of denying her request no matter how servile it seemed to be to me. There would have been those who would have suggested I was becoming her lap dog as it were, or at least portable butler, but I seriously had it bad. I mean I really wanted this girl to be mine. And I was prepared to do anything for her if she asked. Well within what reason I had that was not yet utterly clouded by the fact that for the first time in my life I had a girl who wanted to hang around with me. My common sense would occasionally kick me right where it counted and I would back off. But a foot rub? No problem, I will be the love slave, just watch me.

I looked over at Bleakfalls Barrow. We had yet to enter the barrow. There had been Brigands the whole way and I was making sure we stripped them of everything they had of value. Then it was back to Riverwood and it was sold. The Riverwood Trader, that brother and sister team, were proving very cooperative, especially after I had promised him I would retrieve his golden claw. But the sun was starting to set and I didn't want to get into the Barrow until tomorrow at daylight, so we trudged through the snow and started heading back. Rumor said Draugar in the tombs, in spite of the bandits who were hanging about the place, and I just felt more secure delving deeply into that barrow at some time other than night. Sofia was offering no objections, as the surplus stuff was going into her backpack.

"Back to the inn," I suggested. "And tomorrow we go into the barrow."

"Whatever," replied Sofia.

I turned to her as we were walking and once again that incredibly cute face utterly enraptured me. I mean I could look at that face of hers for nearly ever. She gave me a glance out of the corner of her eyes and then looked straight ahead with an act of will. Then she peaked back at me and once again looked forward. I kept looking at her as we walked down the trail, she stole another glance back at me and tried not to smile.

And then I tripped over that branch and fell flat on my face.

Sofia, being that nice and considerate girl that she was, laughed and made no inquiries as to my injuries.

I got back up, looked at her, and with my common sense once again asserting itself, I replied, "I'll be okay, thanks for asking."

Sofia shrugged. "I figured you would get over it," she replied. "But you were funny when you fell. There you are making moon eyes at me one second and then FLAT on your FACE!"

"And of course the fact that I'm looking at you because you are so pretty merely is your due, right?" I grumbled.

"Of course," she replied. "I like to be admired, and because I'm attractive, I deserve to be admired."

"You are such a vain woman, what are you going to do when you get old?"

"Get drunk and kill stuff," was her reply.

"Why am I in love with this woman?" I mentally asked myself.

"Because you keep thinking some day she'll change her attitude and snuggle up to you and whisper how much you mean to her," came the little aside voice back. "Face it Valentine, you're in a fantasy land and Sofia is nothing more than a pretty face on a nice body with your own wishes being thrown against it in the desperate hope something will stick."

We crossed the bridge and turned right and walked to the Sleeping Giant Inn and went in. Delphine was no where to be found but Orgnar the cook and bartender simply tossed me the keys to the two open rooms and I gave one to Sofia. Lucan was in the tavern sitting at one table with his sister Camilla and I noticed that the bard, Sven was looking at her and smiling. Then he sang a little love song about being in love with a girl who made him think of Carmel and Camilla smiled.

That was my cue, since I had never heard that song before and leaving Sofia with a few bottles of wine within reach, which she of course began to drink, I walked over to Sven and we began to talk shop. He let me borrow his drum and while I was busy beating the rhythms he was playing the lute and we had a rather fun impromptu jam session. We looked over to where Sofia was seated, and she was rather lazily swaying back and forth to the music. She had drained two bottles already and I suspected she would polish off the third shortly.

"Your girlfriend is getting drunk again," observed Sven.

"Yeah," I replied. "It's the only time she lets me hug her . . . Sort of anyway."

Sven stole a glance at Camilla.

"Faendal thinks he can woo Camilla," remarked Sven. "She's mine I tell him."

"Really?" I replied. No doubt because I was always with Sofia the folks in Riverwood had us as a couple, and so Sven was looking for an ally, or at least a sympathetic ear.

"Yeah," he continued. "Always in the shop talking with her. Like he's got a chance."

"Right," I replied with a sigh. "Two people talking for hours on end almost never develop a relationship."

"I've heard better sarcasm," was Sven's retort. "But you do have a point. Maybe I can tip the scales a bit. See me in the morning will you? I'll have something for you."

"Sure," I said. Not sure at all what he might mean by that. I wasn't entirely liking the look in his eyes. I got up and walked back over to Sofia.

"You know?" she slurred as she sort of got up and leaned against me. "If an Argonian and Khajiit had a baby? That would be one ugly baby."

"Might be," I ventured as I helped her towards her room.

"I wonder what sort of babies we would have," she mused. "I mean hypothetical. My looks and your . . ." She didn't finish the sentence. The look on her face suggested she had not a clue.

"After all that time trying to track me down and you've never found something about me you like?" I suggested. "So why are you hanging around?"

"I'm not hanging around, I'm helping you stay alive," she replied.

We had reached the bedroom and she fell upon the bed. I helped her out of her boots and proceeded to give her a foot rub.

"I could get used to this," she suggested. And then she was fast asleep . . . And snoring. Yes, snore. If you don't think women can snore, allow me to enlighten you.

I walked back out of her room, looked in to see that she was in fact asleep, and likewise, because of the situation, should anyone look in besides me they would see she was fully clothed. If I was going to make love to that woman, and folks were to be talking about it, I didn't want the idea that I had seduced her while she was entirely blotto being part of the picture. I closed the door and went to the next room, closed that door, and fell asleep dreaming of her in my arms.

The next day, after unloading our loot at the Riverwood Trader and getting to know Camilla a bit more, a woman who clearly loved the attention, Sofia and I set out for the Barrow.

"Camilla's a Whore . . . Ker . . ." was Sofia's observation once we were out of town and climbing up the trail towards the Barrow.

"She's just jealous," I replied. "She's jealous of your looks so naturally she tries to butter me up to prove she's the better woman."

"Oh?" replied Sofia who had not seen it in that light. "Oh that's right. Yeah."

Like I said earlier, since the truth is stranger than fiction, make sure you come up with a fiction the other person is more likely to believe. I shook my head and we proceeded to clear out the last of the brigands in the Barrow. And a handful of Drauger. And I didn't like that at all. But I had purchased Turn Lesser Undead when I had been in Whiterun and so I was able to keep the creatures away from me. Sofia of course was not at all adverse to chasing them a bit and putting a few arrows into them before she came back to me. I had to admit I really was depending on her and that was beginning to bug me. I wanted her to depend on me, not the other way around.

By the time I got back, Sven was waiting for me with a piece of paper.

"Give this to Camilla and tell her it's a letter from Faendal," he said.

I replied "Okay," somewhat slowly and nodded. Then I walked back to my room, sat on my bed and motioned Sofia to join me. She walked in with a mug full of mead. But she was not yet drunk.

I read the letter and decided it wasn't the sort of thing I would give to any woman.

"What do you think Sofia?" I asked as I showed her the letter.

"Crude, Rude, Obnoxious," was her estimation of the script. "I hate people who are like this, you know? The sort who are always bragging about themselves and thinking they are so great." She paused. "What are you looking at me like that for?"

"I don't feel right about giving this to Camilla and telling her it's from Faendal," I said with a sigh, not to mention trying to change the subject so this would not turn into yet another snap fest between the two of us.

"Then talk to Faendal about it and see what he has to say," was Sofia' suggestion. "Maybe you'll start a fight . . . Won't that be a hoot?"

That gave me an idea . . . A very bad idea. And the sort Sofia would love.

The next morning, after we had once again unloaded our loot at the Riverwood Trader, and I had once again gotten a few words in with Camilla, I walked over to Feandal's house and knocked on the door. He was a decent enough Bosmer, older and likewise a good archer. Once he had seen the letter he snorted and replied, "Well two can play at that game. Come back this evening and I'll have my own letter."

"Okay," I replied once again and Sofia and I proceeded to delve deeper into the Barrow, before once again loaded down with ancient Nordic loot, we returned to the Inn that evening.

"I don't think we're going to the Barrow tomorrow," I began the conversation after she had read Feandal's letter which was claiming to be from Sven.

"What do you have in mind?" she replied.

"I think it's time we took an active hand in this little rivalry between Sven and Faendal," I answered with a sigh. "Call me naive . . ."

"Why tell you something we both know already?" was her answer.

"That's what I love about you Sofia, you are always ready with a boot to add to my self-depreciation."

"It's what I do," she replied.

"Tomorrow morning," I began. "We are going to Hod and Gerdur's house and borrowing their dining table."

"Oh?" was Sofia's reply.

"And you will not pull that 'I'm not feeling very secure right now, do you think I'm pretty?' stunt with Hod. Got it?" I added. "I like Gerdur and Hod. They were there when I needed help and I won't have you stirring a pot best left to simmer."

She sighed. "Fine!" she grumbled.

"Besides," I continued. "When you find out what I'm going to do, you'll be more than adequately compensated for your taste in causing trouble."

"You owe me then," was her answer.

Next morning, more negotiations with Lucan and more conversations with Camilla who was clearly approaching flirtation mode with me. Sofia naturally was getting hostile which I was more than happy to allow. After all, Sofia was the girl I wanted, and if by provoking a little jealousy by not entirely discouraging Camilla I could get Sofia to be more honest with herself about why she was tagging along with me, I would wink a few times to a fellow Imperial.

But I had what I wanted at the end of the hour's exchange. Septims from the loot, as well as paper, quill pens, and ink. And from there is was off to Hod's house after clearing it with Gerdur. I didn't want Sven seeing me writing and making good leaps of logic.

"There's nothing to drink in this house," was Sofia's observation. "How do you expect me to sit at this table and drink nothing.

"Because I need you to write two letters and sign them as if they were from Camilla. If this is going to work, the first pair of letters needs to be in a feminine hand. And yours are the best hands I have for the job."

"Okay," asked Sofia, "What am I supposed to write."

"The first letter is going to be along these lines . . ." I began. "Dearest darling Faendal, I received a horrible letter from Sven and I wish to talk with you privately about it behind the lumber mill this evening shortly after sunset. I fear Sven might be alert to my feelings about him and if he shows up, you'll know what to do to him. I remain your one true love, Camilla."

"So you're going to pick Faendal?" was Sofia's query.

"The next letter is going like this," I replied with a very devious smile. "Dearest darling Sven. I received a horrible letter from Faendal and I wish to talk with you privately about it behind the lumber mill this evening shortly after sunset. I fear Faendal might be alert to my feelings about him and if he shows up, you'll know what to do with him. I remain your one true love, Camilla."

Sofia began to grin and she began to write the letters. In the meantime, I wrote a pair of letters as well. These were addressed to Camilla and were signed by Sven and Faendal respectively.

Once the letters were sealed, I delivered my two to Camilla by slipping them under the door of the Riverwood Trader. The first shortly after noon, and the second a few hours later. Sofia of course delivered the other two letters respectively to Sven and Faendal, by means of the same trick, so no one saw us deliver the letters directly. Then as the sun was beginning to think of setting, we set out to the Riverwood Traders, took Camilla and Lucan over to the Inn for dinner, and as Lucan and I chatted of shoes, ships, and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings, Sofia took Camilla for a walk which ended, rather deliberately, behind the lumber mill just a few moments after 'shortly after' sunset.

Sofia returned with a big grin on her face and a persistent fit of the giggles which came on at random intervals. But the next day we were too busy dealing with the last of the barrow and securing the dragon stone, which came not at all easily. But the strangest thing that happened was this curious wall which had a glowing symbol or word upon it of which I somehow knew to be the sound, Fus. Sofia just sort of stared at me over that with her front teeth biting her lower lip. As for me? I shrugged and and we found a way out of the barrow which involved a bit of climbing down a cliff side before we headed back to Riverwood. So we did not speak much of the incident.

As we unloaded the last of our loot for Lucan, Camilla looked at me with a certain melancholy. I could tell she was a bit depressed. For a moment I regretted what I had done, but then I reminded myself of why I had done it.

"Don't be a stranger now," she suggested. And Sofia, much to the beating of my little heart, put her arm around my arm and gave Camilla a 'mine' gesture. Camilla returned a glance to Sofia which seemed to be something of a challenge and I felt rather smug I'll admit.

We headed back towards Whiterun, with septims in our pockets and a dragon stone in my backpack.

"So just _what _was in those two letters you wrote?" asked Sofia once we were safely out of the hearing range of the citizens of Riverwood. "And why did you do it the way you did? I mean you should have seen the look on Camilla's face when we came around the lumber mill and saw them wrestling on the ground trying to beat each other up. It was a scream. But what she said to them? She said they were sick and twisted and I don't understand that at all."

"That was the idea," I said. "You see? I think that if you are trying to woo a woman's love you should do it by telling her why you are the ideal for her. Not by tearing down your rival. Especially in such a mean and vindictive manner. All is fair in love and war? Screw that. Be honest about yourself and your feelings for the other and let them make the right choice. Faendal is a good archer and would be a great provider. He needed to press his suit by showing Camilla those good points of his. Sven is a Bard and a poet, the sort that could sing love songs to Camilla all his life. She had two really great choices and if the two men had been gentlemen about it, I never would have done what I did."

"Which was?" asked Sofia.

"My letters suggested they were ending their relationship with Camilla because they had found true love," I pause for the sheer drama of it all. "In each other."

Sofia took a moment to lean against a tree and hoot in hysterics.

"I'm glad you approve," I offered.

"We make a great couple," suggested Sofia.

Three . . . Two . . . One . . .

"I Mean TEAM!" she clarified.

"If you say so," I sighed. She still wasn't being honest with herself. Oh well. It was off to Whiterun with a Dragon stone for Farengar. From there, I planned to head to Solitude and connect with the Bard's College there. New instruments, and perhaps some acknowledgement of my talents. And next to me was a beautiful woman who was beginning to appreciate me. Life was good and things were sure to look up.

Yeah, I was a naive fool to think that.


	4. Chapter 4 - A Song For the Brave

"There's no sign of a dragon but it sure looks like he's been there," said Irileth.

We were a few miles out of Whiterun, overlooking the western watch tower which observed the road which ran from Markarth. That tower had several holes in it, and not a few fires around it.

"Spread out and look for survivors," continued Irileth. She was a Dunmer, a dark elf, with stern features and an almost fanatic determination to protect Jarl Balgruuf from any possible threat. Our introduction slightly over a week before had been with her holding a drawn sword directed at my heart and while we were on speaking terms, she left no doubt that she would hack my head off if she thought it necessary.

Of course, the Jarl of Whiterun was not here. It was just me, Sofia, Irileth, and four guards from Whiterun who had greeted the opportunity to engage in a dragon fight with the phrase "We are so dead."

That's what I like about the Nords, they are so upbeat when they are sober.

I stole a glance at Sofia. She had, as per her usual custom, gotten drunk the night before in the Bannered Mare and had managed to lose her clothing in various spots around the inn. I spent a few hours tracking the articles down since I didn't have the time to make her new stuff because I had planned on getting on this very road I was standing on, earlier this morning so I might take the right turn and follow it through Rorikstead, through Dragon Bridge, and on to Solitude and the Bard's College. But just as Farengar had talked about how the work of the mind was to begin and show the dragon stone to a woman in leather armor and leather hood who looked rather familiar, though I could not place the face, Irileth had walked in and called us up to the Jarl's upper chamber where I was addressed as his friend and sent off to face this new dragon because . . . get this . . . I had experience fighting dragons.

Now where he got that idea from I need to explain. Sofia had been more than adept at insisting that the big black spiny I had been busy running from in Helgen had in fact been running from me. This was of course last night when she had been in her underwear chatting with six or twenty guardsmen. I really wasn't counting and there were a lot of them and I couldn't just stop my lute playing and walk over and extract her from her fan club. I was contracted for three hours, and for that me and Sofia would get the only room in the inn, and Sofia had managed to undress in the first sixty minutes of the gig.

Apparently word of my exploits had gotten back to the Jarl. He knew I had been in Helgen, and he knew I had been on the block when the dragon had arrived. But he had not known that I had 'driven the dragon off' before I had left for Riverwood. While I had not been entirely honest with him by admitting that I had been chiefly concerned in looking for places to hide when the that winged horror had flown in. I had likewise not been dishonest by suggesting that I had actually fought the dragon. On that topic I had remained a respectful 'humble' silence. Not that the Jarl had pressed the matter, he was too busy arguing with Proventius over whether or not to send a detachment to Riverwood. But all that was before we had returned with the dragon stone and 'destroyed that massively dangerous drauger' at least according to Sofia. From my perspective, I would have been dead without her assistance since she had, as per usual, faced the creature directly while I incinerated it from the side.

I wasn't sure what Sofia was planning in regards to the possible arrival of a dragon. She had, once she had found out we were being sent out to fight a dragon, asked me if I was actually crazy enough to be considering it. I supposed I could have reminded her that if she had not been telling the guards a pack of lies while sitting there in the smallest pair of underclothes I had ever seen a woman in . . . Well I'll be frank, before Sofia I had never seen a woman in any underclothes save my mother and that was before I turned four and the memory is more than a little hazy.

So here I was, standing near the tower, walking rather cautiously towards it with these four guards giving me the 'only you can save us' looks which I found rather disconcerting, not to mention embarrassing should that dragon come up and attack. Now I had a Hunter's Bow and iron tipped arrows. I had no magical means to fire bolts at something like a dragon, but conversely, I didn't want to be in the dragon's line of sight either should he come around. And the more I looked about, the more it looked like he had already come around and what was there to stop him from coming back? Especially when I was looking at a charred humanoid figure which had, I suspected, been a walking living loving happy Nord just a few hours prior. My plan was simple. Find a spot that the dragon was not looking at, and shoot arrows at him until either the dragon had left, or died by someone else's hand.

Cowardice you say? No Cowardice is when you run away entirely. I was in no shape to kill a dragon and I knew I was in no shape to kill a dragon so I was going to be on the side rather than in that dragon's flame breath. What's the point of dying to prove you are brave?

I paused and looked at Sofia. She was simply scanning around. There was a frown on her forehead, no doubt the result of that hangover she had gotten upon waking up earlier this morning, nearly naked, on the bed, while I was sitting in a chair next to her, clearly capable of seeing every bit of her feminine qualities. She had not been appreciative and I had smiled and replied if she was going to toss her garments while intoxicated in seven or eight different spots in the inn and make a spectacle of herself for the rest of the town's male population, I saw no reason why to not exclude myself of the view. She had, of course, no answer for that other than her usual accusations that I was a pervert where upon I pointed out that I had first, not gotten into bed with her; second, retrieved her clothing for her donning; third, remained fully dressed the entire time; and fourth, she made no secret of the fact that she liked being admired by guys and I was only trying to make her happy. She pondered that while she was pulling her skirt up and boots on. She rightly suspected there was sarcasm hidden in that reply somewhere. Which does much to explain why there was no expression of gratitude forthcoming. Not that I found this surprising.

"No, get back!" shouted a guard looking out of the tower. He was not one of the one's who had come with us. "It's still here somewhere! Hroki and Tor just got grabbed when they tried to make a run for it."

"Guardsman! What happened here? Where's the dragon? Quickly now!" asked Irileth and I began to look about.

As luck would have it, I was looking south when the creature came out of the clouds.

"Kynareth save us, here he comes again . . ." was what the guard said.

Talos that creature was huge. Seriously huge. It's head was as big as my entire body.

"Find cover!" shouted Irileth. "And make every arrow count."

It's nice when the military command approves of your planned tactics.

The dragon landed on the south side of the tower and proceeded to work on incinerating the guardsmen there. I dashed around the tower on my right to reach the side and took aim.

And the dragon was air-born before my arrow got halfway there. I had a sneaking suspicion it was going to be one of those days.

"So you're going to face me?" shouted Sofia to the dragon who was honing in on her. "At least you'll die with a great view! I am of course referring to my face and possibly other feminine attributes. The last guy who faced me was stiff before he was cold, or at least part of him was."

The dragon was entirely focused on Sofia now and I was running as fast as I could to get a shot in. And I did. I actually got a shot off. And it even hit. And there it was, stuck on a back spine, three inches of the back. Hurting the dragon not a little bit. In fact not hurting the dragon at all.

And then it engulfed Sofia in flames and I was shooting and loading as fast as I could. Sofia however leapt up and putting her foot on the nose of the dragon, vaulted onto the top of his head. And then jumped off to the side while two of the guardsmen with Irileth charged forward.

I was in range. Holding the bow in my right hand I let the fire burst from my left hand and painted the dragon's left front leg with it. I was amazed at how little damage seemed to be produced. I felt terribly disempowered.

"Fall to me Dragon!" shouted one of the guards.

"You still trying to fight a woman? You know you're going to die. We never fight by the rules!" shouted Sofia.

This wasn't just braggadocio on Sofia's part. Though a case could be made that she was trying to make it so. The simple fact is that women who win on the battle field do so because they fight like women and not like men. If the girl thinks she has to don the heavy armor and the heavy shield and swing the heavy sword, she'll be dead the moment she faces a guy who has the same number of training hours she has. Simply put, a woman's strength is in her legs and hips not her arms and shoulders. A woman who moves, strikes, moves, and spends her strength keeping mobile and ducking will prove more than a match for a tank who is used to simply chopping down anything in front of him. Sofia understood that. She might be facing you for a second, but that was only to put the fire into your face before she stepped to the side and planted the dagger.

And that was my problem too you see. Because I was a mage, because I was on the flank. I too had to fight 'like a woman' and of course I wasn't half as graceful as Sofia was. She was poetry in motion. My strength was in my fire, and that dragon was acting like I was merely keeping him warm on a cold Skyrim morning. Not that I begrudged the fact that he regarded me as 'not a threat'. Well okay I did begrudge him that. It was in a very real sense humiliating. But I was not so stupid as to face him directly knowing that one bite would have neatly severed me into two equal parts.

"I am Mirmulnir!" shouted the dragon. "And I had forgotten what sport you mortals are!"

"I'll Kill You!" shouted Irileth.

Mirmulnir dove, knocked Irileth to the side and swung his tail at Sofia. She ducked and the tail grazed her while I dashed in 'to the rescue'. Silly of me I know. Like I was going to really impact that beast?

"Oh! I think I broke a nail!" cried Sofia.

Yeah, I was really feeling adequate right about them.

"Nerevar guide me!" cried Irileth.

Mirmulnir once again landed, rather clumsily I noted. His body was covered in blood and half penetrated arrows. It suddenly dawned on me that while not one single arrow had done much damage, he had been hit by dozens of them and all those wounds were bleeding him out. I was tired of feeling like I didn't matter. I dove in and let loose with the flames while the five remaining guards, Irileth, and Sofia closed in firing their bows.

For one second Mirmulnir faced me. And then he cried "Dovahkiin? No!"

And then he died.

OH COME ON!

Seriously now. Everyone else had done far more to kill that dragon than me. But because he had looked at me and said no, everyone was looking at me like I had killed the beast and they had merely helped by being the distraction.

"Let's make sure that overgrown lizard is really dead," suggested Irileth from behind me on my left.

I had never seen a dragon before, and this was my chance to get up close to the beast and make out the details. But . . . But the dragon was spontaneously combusting.

"Get back!" cried Irileth.

But I couldn't. The dragon was entirely engulfed in flame now and something in that dragon was trying to get away, I could feel it's struggles while at the same time there was a blowing wind and white power swirling around me and this horrible feeling of loss and despair and . . . power.

And that word from that great stone wall came back to my head and it seemed that I needed to say it.

"FUS!"

It was like it just came out. The fire which was covering the dragon yielded to it and the smoke scattered before it and the bones just flew and there I was. Standing before a skeleton and everyone was looking at me like mighty Talos himself had just come down and asked for my autograph.

"I can't believe it!" cried one of the guards. "You're . . . Dragonborn!"

"Dragonborn?" I asked. "What do you mean?"

"In the very oldest days, back when there were still dragons in Skyrim, the Dragonborns would slay dragons and steal their power. And that's what you did isn't it? Absorbed that dragon's power?"

"I don't know what happened to me," I observed. And that was quite true.

"Well, you can shout now. You couldn't before, right? That can only mean one thing. You must be Dragonborn."

"Dragonborn?" queried another guard. "What are you talking about?"

Yeah, what he said. What ARE you talking about?

"That's right," observed another guard. "My grandfather used to tell stories of the Dragonborn.

I stole a peek at Sofia. She was looking at me with a mixture of awe, amazement, and "Well of course I picked him to pal around with" expression. I couldn't help but suspect that within a moment or two she would have convinced herself that the reason why this was happening to me was because she had decided to join me. Just the same, I was feeling like I really had a chance at romance with this girl now.

"Those born with the Dragon Blood in 'em, like old Tiber Septim himself."

Tiber Septim? I was suddenly hit sideways with a gold brick wrapped around an iron crowbar nailed to a chunk of granite. Metaphorically speaking of course.

"I never heard of Tiber Septim killing any dragons," replied another guard.

"There weren't any dragons then, idiot. They're just coming back now for the first time in . . . forever!"

I wasn't entirely aware of the conversation that was swirling about me. I was still punch drunk over the fact that the Septim line had Dragonborn in it. My ancient ancestry was coming back to give me a big boon in the middle of my reconciling myself to the fact that I would be no one of importance in my life. And I wasn't at all okay with this sudden derailment of my life's plans. After all that effort to reconcile myself to the fact that I would remain inconspicuous and obscure for the rest of what ever lifespan was to be given to me, to be suddenly thrust into greatness was not a little irritating. It's like you spent the entire spring planing apple seeds in order to feed the world only to discover that the world was allergic to apple sauce.

"But the old tales tell of the Dragonborn who could kill dragons and steal their power. You must be one!"

"What do you say Irileth? You're being awfully quiet," was another guard's comment.

"Come on Irileth," added another guard. "Tell us. Do you believe in this Dragonborn business?"

Irileth snorted. "Some of you would be better off keeping quiet than flapping your gums over something you don't know anything about." She gestured to the skeletal remains of Mirmulnir. "Here's a dead dragon," she continued. "And that's something I definitely understand. Now we know we can kill them. But I don't need some mythical Dragonborn. Someone who can put down a dragon is more than enough for me."

"You wouldn't understand, House Carl," replied the first guardsman. The one who 'believed in me'. "You ain't a Nord."

"I've been all across Tamriel," retorted Irileth. "I've seen plenty of things just as outlandish as this. I'd advise all of you to trust in the strength of your sword arm over tales and legends."

Irileth turned to me and looked at me for a moment.

"I'm taking command here for the moment," she said. "You head back to Whiterun and let the Jarl know what happened."

I nodded and headed back towards the city. Sofia fell in beside me. I stole a peek at her and she glanced back at me and smiled just a little.

"You're going to fall flat on your face again," she observed.

"And you'll laugh," I replied looking forward.

"Of course," she replied.

"Sofia?" I started "Admit it girl, you like me."

"You're fun to adventure with," she replied.

"That isn't what I meant," I retorted. I worked up my nerve and then turned to face her. I started to stammer but I pushed forward. "What I mean is . . . It's like . . . You and me . . . We could be . . .You know what I mean. . . . I hear it from your lips all the time . . . You just won't . . ."

And there was a crack of thunder, the earth seemed to shake beneath my feet and this cry came out of the sky to the south and east, seeming to come from the mountain they called The Throat of the World and there were words in that crack of thunder. There were voices in the shaking earth.

"Doh . . . Vah . . . Kiin!"

And there was another crack of thunder.

Sofia looked towards the mountain. Part of me was cursing that sudden interruption and the other part of me was pointedly observing that I was making a jackass of myself trying to suggest that we could fall in love now.

"You know," she observed looking back at me. "If you're Dragonborn, we're going to be rich. We had nothing when we started together, just a single pair of clothes. Not that it's how much money you have you know. It's always been how much of it you spent on me."

Okay, that really put a complete damper on the mood if you know what I mean. I looked back at her. And for a moment gazed upon that deep black thick hair which rested upon her shoulders in that long curly pony tail. I looked at those big soulful eyes and that cute little button nose with that sprinkling of freckles. If only she had been missing that mouth of hers.

"It's a joke? But . . . a piece of jewelry, you know? Like a necklace? Wouldn't be bad," she suggested.

"And you know I'll get it for you," I sighed.

"Yes," she said with more than a little certitude. "I do."

I walked on in silence.

"I have to look the part you know," she insisted. "We're going to be legends now."

And then she sang out "The Legendary Duo."

I paused and looked at her. It had only been three words, but it was one of those deep, rich, and full alto voices which only come naturally to a handful of women.

"Sofia!" I said, partially as an accusation. "I didn't know you could sing."

"You didn't ask," she replied.

"I've only been playing at the Bannered Mare and the Sleeping Giant how many nights since you joined me?" I shot back.

"I've been busy relaxing!" she insisted.

"Getting drunk, flirting with everyone _except me_, and losing your clothes," I replied with a slight increase in volume.

"I don't lose my clothes!" she argued back.

"So why do you keep waking up naked with me in the room?"

"And then I put them back on so I haven't lost them!"

"It's because I collected them first!"

"Which means I didn't lose them does it?"

"You shouldn't be taking them off in the first place!"

"It's not like I do it every single time I party!" she argued.

"No, only every second Sundas!" I snapped. "But it shouldn't be AT ALL!"

"Then why do you sit there in the room watching me sleep when I'm naked?"

"Because we can only afford one room! That's why you get to sleep under the covers and I sleep on top of them! And given every other male in the town of Whiterun or Riverwood is aware of what you look like naked and that doesn't bother you, why would it bother you that I know too?"

"Don't you dare be rational with me while I'm yelling at you!"

"I'll be rational when ever I like!"

She was leaning forward, her fists clenched and at her sides, and her feet stomping on the cobblestones of the road. I simply walked along beside her, somewhat smug since I had won that argument. But of course she didn't look pretty when she was angry, and in the middle of this I became afraid I would lose her. She would walk off and hop into someone else's bed . . . Not that she had been in my bed in the sense of being in bed. I wasn't even aware if she had made love to another guy. I mean you would think she had, given how frequently she got drunk and flirted with guys in order to persuade them to buy her drinks. When a girl's drinking is coupled with a mathematically set of definable odds that she'll lose her clothes at some point in the process, you can't help but suspect that there's been a certain loss of sexual innocence, and what's more, self-respect. And then I began to wonder if after one of those little games she had played, she had woken up naked in a bed with no memory of how she had gotten there. And realizing there was a bit of soreness and goop between her legs, she knew she had been taken and left like an old discarded rag doll. And that was the reason why she was being distant with me.

Seriously now. She had tracked me down. She had followed me for some period of time before I had even known she existed. I had never seen her but she had seen me and pegged me for her companion. And she had vehemently denied it persistently since. What else could be the reason for that "I want to be with you forever but only as friends where I'm in compete control at all times and you depend on me and not the other way around" attitude she was projecting? What was she afraid of?

How to say your sorry when you're not but you want to make up . . .

"Sofia?"

"What!"

"I really depend on you. You know that don't you?"

"Yes!"

"Tomorrow, after we get up. After we've talked with the Jarl and caught him up on things. We'll go to Solitude. You and me. We'll join the Bard's college. We'll study music together. We'll then tour all of Tamriel and sing duets. We'll be famous. We'll sing for the Emperor Titus. Would you like that?"

"Maybe?"

I leaned over and gave her a one armed hug. Her muscles tensed, but she leaned in. Her arms remained at her side, but her head leaned against my shoulder for a second. Then I let go and she fell back into step.

"I wish you were my wife," I sighed. "Then I would not have to worry you would move on at some point."

I tried to catch a peak out of the corner of my eye to see what she was doing. She was trying not to look at me with a wistful expression on her face.

It was going to take time. That much was for certain. I suspected that once upon a time, she had been hurt real bad.

And for the first time since I had entered Skyrim, I wasn't being a naive fool.


	5. Chapter 5 - A Song For The College

"I so love taking it from behind," came Sofia's whisper. "I mean . . ."

We were in a dark and dingy cave. There were at least three drauger up ahead of us. There had been more than a few traps we had avoided behind us, and there was this ghost which kept calling us forward, causing me wonder which sort of ghost it was, the sort who wanted us to follow it so we might finish some unfulfilled task it had died trying to accomplish, or the sort that was leading us to our doom. And in the middle of this, while we are trying to be stealthy, crouched down so far as to put serious torc on the kneecaps, Sofia just had to make a comment on our attack tactics in such a fashion that suggested . . . well I don't think I need to explain any further. I quietly turned around and stared at her.

"I'll just be quiet now," she suggested.

"You do that," I mouthed in reply.

We crept forward for about five feet. I raised my bow to hit that drauger in the head and hopefully put him out before the other two were aware we were there.

"Crouched down like this, if you cut one now you can forget me helping you . . ." came her quiet, but still over intense whisper.

I nearly shot wild. But keeping calm I untensed the bow while keeping my fingers on the arrow and looked at her again.

"Must you?" I whispered as quietly as I could.

"Sorry," she replied. And for the first time I think since we had started adventuring together, she actually blushed.

I once again pulled back the bow. It was one of those Imperial composite designs which I had reinforced with a few steel strips and special glue. I took a deep breath, held it, and mentally guided the arrow so that the tip was pointing just above the top of the drauger. Drauger are pretty much northern zombies, but unlike zombies, they are not in a state of rot. They seem to be able to just hold themselves together while shriveling up. It makes them rather flammable, but they take a while to burn. Hitting them with fire bolts, a new spell I had learned, was not the preferred first strike. A good solid bowshot did way more damage since they didn't see it coming and arrows had more penetration power than my fire bolts.

The arrow silently sped from the bow, heading for it's target smooth and soft, just as the drauger turned and took a step to the left. The arrow of course hit the wall with an audible snap and the drauger immediately faced us. I was ready to scream. The three of them naturally all charged in unison and I stood up and stepped back since I needed Sofia in front to cover my spell casting.

"So, you think you can act like you have a set of items I know rotted off a long time ago?" came Sofia's challenge to the Drauger. "And here I am, right in front of you, and you lacking the equipment . . ."

I'm not sure if drauger care about that sort of thing but Sofia seemed to take a certain perverse pleasure in mocking the dead in this fashion as she warded against drauger strikes with one hand and stabbed with the other and I filled their faces with flames. I couldn't help but be jealous of her warding talents. The ward is a spell which unleashes a magical shield in front of a person which acts to block both physical and magical bolts and strikes. The problem is that it's a serious drain on the magicka and likewise, isn't as strong when it's put up as it is when it's been running for a few seconds. I simply never could get the timing right on it. So I preferred oak-flesh and flames.

"Talos!" I screamed and cupped my hands together so that I could increase the lethality. This was of course, Sofia's cue to stand in the way.

"Why in oblivion do you think I shout these things!" I screamed at her while I tried to adjust so I might get a clear shot.

"If you were looking at the drauger and not my backside maybe you wouldn't need to yell about me blocking your way!" she shot back.

The drauger merely made those rattly grunts and kept attacking. I slid to the left and got a good five second blast into one of them which was sufficient to cut it's combat capacity down a bit.

"If I were looking at your backside I wouldn't be looking at the enemy!" I retorted. I needed to gulp down a magicka potion as I had run out of magical energy.

"Are you saying my hips are too wide?" she accusingly queried.

I unleashed more flame and one of the drauger dropped. Two to go.

"If you are so worried about your hips being too wide!" I yelled, letting a spell loose that sent one of the drauger running for the hills, leaving us with just one to deal with for the moment. " . . . Then stick your hips in the way of that drauger's axe. He'll cut them down to size in no time!"

"You do think they're too wide don't you!" she shrieked as she kicked the last drauger in the stomach and then blasted it's face off with an ice bolt.

Now that we were somewhat safe, I swatted the backside of said hips with the flat of my hand.

"Only you would be worried about your weight in the middle of a life or death struggle," I suggested in a rather annoyed tone.

"You didn't answer the question!" she accused. You will note, she had apparently no objection to the swat I had placed upon them the seconds prior. I saw that as an encouraging sign.

"And I refuse to," I replied. "You'll just wait on what I think of your hips proportions after we find the poem for the college."

Since the gentle reader is no doubt somewhat unfamiliar with Skyrim, I had best explain where we were and why we were arguing over Sofia's hip measurements in the middle of a fight with the walking dead.

The cry of Dohvakiin from the sky had turned out to be the Greybeards summoning me to a monastery on the top of the Throat of the World which was known as High Hrothgar. The Greybeards were not a pack of dirty creepy old men in ratty robes and scruffy beards as was Sofia's description of them. They were in fact, monks who had mastered the way of the voice, that shouting thing I had done right after Mirmulnar had been killed by everyone . . . except me of course. This summons was explained to me by the Jarl himself, who then named me Thane of Whiterun and assigned me a personal house-carl, a woman named Lydia whom Sofia took an immediate dislike to prior to us even meeting her. Needless to say, wisdom dictated that I assign Lydia to managing my affairs (and spare change) in Whiterun while I remained away from Whiterun. Sofia really was keen on me shouting Lydia off of a cliff at the top of The Throat of the World. And the joke was, Lydia wasn't even remotely as attractive as Sofia. The woman was seriously butch and I didn't care for that. Sofia on the other hand was soft and girly and cuddly . . . Well in my dreams anyway. Reality had a nasty habit of dashing those on a regular basis.

So it was off to High Hrothgar. The trip was known as climbing the 7,000 steps in poetic language. Climbing a thin, treacherous, and slippery mountain trail while killing several wolves, a bear, two frostbite spiders and a rather annoying winter troll in a blizzard in more mundane language. There's a filthy rumor which is circulating that it's not 7,000, but closer to 700. The rumor is true. So spread it around will you?

Upon arriving, having read the ten meditative plaques upon the spiritual way, I had been rewarded with Kynareth's special blessing, known as The Voice of the Sky, which had the delightful attribute of making all the animals like me and not want to eat me any more. This lasted until I had forgotten briefly about it and stomped on a small frostbite spider who was crawling towards our bed in the inn where were were sleeping just a few nights later. Mother Nature came back at me with a vengeance afterwards. In High Hrothgar, I was given a few more words to shout with and send off to find the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller.

Well the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller was in a crypt north of High Hrothgar, and south of Solitude, so it made sense to go into that crypt (it's ALWAYS a crypt), retrieve the horn, and then go on to Solitude and connect with the Bard College, which had been my plan from the moment I had tried to set foot in Skyrim way back when. That was of course, before I was taken in an Imperial ambush, nearly had my head chopped off, met Sofia, gotten the Dragonstone, fired a few spells at the Dragon Mirmulnir, been made Thane of Whiterun . . . Okay you should be caught up by now.

It was a most dramatic moment when I retrieved the horn, these massive menhirs made of iron had risen out of the water on either side of the causeway as I had approached the raised palm upon which the horn was supposed to reside. This was of course after killing another pile of undead and getting into an argument with Sofia over the number and quality of arrows I had been giving her. She said I was keeping all the good ones to myself. Her accusation was true but I was in no mood to be honest and fair about it at the time as I had just been the recipient of a very nasty hack in the thigh from a drauger battle axe and the healing had taken up so much magicka I was out of magicka potions afterwards.

Yes, the horn, I was getting to that. There it was, that palm which was supposed to be holding the horn on the top of this great stone altar with bowing figures all around it and that sort of thing . . . Only there was no horn. There was . . . You ready? A piece of paper. A note.

"Why couldn't they have stuck that note on the door in front of the crypt so we didn't have to dash through those slamming doors, work our way around those flaming floor tiles, get shot at by all those skeletons, and . . ." was Sofia's groan.

"Welcome to my life," I had replied.

So no horn, just a note which told me to rent the attic room at the Sleeping Giant Inn in Riverwood.

"But there IS no attic at that inn!" was Sofia's immediate observation. "How in oblivion are we supposed to rent a room that doesn't exist? When I find the jerk who did this they are so getting their lights punched out!"

There was that ghost again, leading us on through a few more death traps, one of which would have assured my demise if Sofia had not been right behind me when the bars came down and closed us off with six drauger to keep us company. That was one hairy fight and when the last of them was dead, I paused to catch my breath and looked right at her. She looked back at me quizzically and then I put my arms on her shoulders, pulled her in, and got my first kiss.

It would have been nice to say that somewhere fireworks went off, we floated into the air, a chorus of women sang a melodic aria, and she sighed sweetly and fell into my arms giggling with delight.

But it didn't.

"You saved my life right now," I said.

"So you're excused," she replied. "But if you think what I think you're thinking then think again."

She backed off and turned her back on me. I remained buoyantly optimistic simply because she had not only let me kiss her, she had actually closed her eyes upon the receipt and had opened her mouth upon lip contact. She obviously knew about kissing, more than me actually. I had only read about this stuff. Just the same, had I been a bit younger, my heart might have been crushed by the sudden snub. But it was so in her character that I was more surprised at the brief enthusiasm of her receiving my kiss than I was her sudden chill afterwards.

There was a shaft we were going to have to jump down. There was water at the bottom. I had determined that by dropping a flaming torch down it first to see what we could expect. The ghost had led us here, so that was the way we had to take, not that we had any more options.

"You know," I said, feeling somewhat impish. "One of these nights you're going to get drunk, I'm going to pick you up in the middle of it, take you to my bed, make mad passionate love to you, and wake up with you in my arms the next morning and what will you do then?"

"Punch you," she replied.

"And what will you do when I simply make love to you again afterwards?" I queried.

"I'll punch you again, and maybe kick you too," she replied with hardly a bit of indignant huff in her tone.

"Sofia, listen to yourself. You're only threatening retaliation after I've done the deed. Especially when you could easily burn my face off before I could ever get close enough to actually do it. Why don't you just admit that you like me and that's why you've been tagging along. You tracked me down you know. That's not the behavior of a girl who's idea is to help out her fellow man, that's the behavior of a girl who has a crush on a guy."

"You can jump into that shaft right now, and get good and soaked with all that cold water, or I can push you in," she suggested. "One . . . Two . . ."

I leapt. I knew when she got to three she would start to push and while I kind of liked the idea of a wrestling match, to engaged in a contest in front of a very deep hole filled with water and stone sides was not the best place for such athletics.

The water was a good twenty feet deep and there was a tunnel leading out at the surface, mostly. I shouted this stuff up to Sofia. She promptly shouted "Yippee! I love leaping to my doom!" and came down into the water.

From there it was a few more tunnels and then finally, at the bottom of a shaft, there was the desiccated and very old corpse of the Bard Svaknir holding a book. The ghost was sitting by the corpse looking at the book. I took it. The ghost rose and began to head back but towards a magically sealed barrier. His posture suggested an invitation to come along. We followed because now we knew why the ghost had lead us on.

Needless to say, had I not suspected, I might have concluded that while this ghost was anxious to return this part of the poetic edda to the living of Skyrim, he was mischievous enough to employ death traps in order to feel like we had accomplished something. But I was convinced by this point that the ghost was Svaknir himself determined to have his final vengeance against the King who had crushed him. So there was one last big fight which required me to spend a lot of time on a post above the dead man's court chamber firing off arrows at all the drauger who stood up from their side thrones since I quickly ran out of magicka.

"Arise Olaf!" cried the ghost Svaknir.

"Insolent boy!" retorted the drauger who was King Olaf.

"They say actions speak louder than words," quipped Sofia. "So I'll let my weapons do the talking."

The fight with Olaf lasted a good ten minutes, or so it seemed. I swear I shot fifty arrows into that creature. I drained my magicka away three times, and then fired my bow while it recovered. As per custom, I was mostly plugging away from behind while Olaf paid mostly attention to the ghost, which I did not begrudge since the ghost was not getting particularly hurt by that big blade Olaf was wielding, being composed of ectoplasm and all.

The drauger who was Olaf finally fell, Svaknir pulled out his lute and silently began to play as he faded into Aetheirus and Sovengard. As for Sofia, she busied herself with tidying up the place, which consisted of picking up all the valuable items in the massive throne room crypt and storing them neatly in our backpacks.

"That's what I love about you," I quipped. "You're so domestic."

She stuck her tongue out at me.

There was a side passage which took us back to the front of Dead Man's Respite and we were able to exit the crypt. There was a natural alcove and stone porch which fronted the crypt, and this seemed the perfect spot to camp for the night as the stars were out and above us the northern lights were all white and pale green. Below the porch a few hundred feet down the hill was the Hjal river rushing by.

"We'll build a fire here," I said.

"Can't we . . ." began Sofia who hated camping out when she was sure there was a tavern nearby.

"No, we can't," I replied. "We're equal distances from Solitude and Morthal, and we've never been to Morthal so we would have no idea what we'd find there."

"Dragonbridge has an inn," argued Sofia.

"Even more out of the way," I replied. "To get to Solitude we swim, not walk all the way back to Dragonsbridge and then turn around and walk back."

"I hate camping in front of crypts!" shouted Sofia.

"You hate camping . . . period," I replied. "But I have a surprise for you so just sit tight."

"I could get used to that," she admitted.

Shortly thereafter, I had a nice fire going, started with the local brush and scrub which was growing outside the crypt, and fueled with the remains of drauger from inside the crypt. I told you they burned well. And then I gave Sofia her surprise, three bottles of Black Briar Reserve Mead which I had slipped into a side pocket of my backpack when she had not been looking.

"I feel really creepy knowing I'm being kept warm by dead drauger," observed Sofia shortly thereafter. Then she held out her mug for another refill. "I will be needing more drinks to get over it."

"Naturally," I said.

She looked at me for a moment.

"I'm feeling really grungy now, and you're looking really grungy. I'm going down to the river to get totally washed off, me and my clothes. You should join me."

I looked at her waiting for the clarification.

"I MEAN APART!"

Right on cue.

I sent her on ahead and shortly thereafter I could hear her calling me down. When I got down there she was in the river up to her neck, not getting out, and convinced her clothing had been washed down stream. I cast a light spell and found her clothing in a pile on top of a bush.

"Here it is," I said.

"Okay thanks," she said. "You can go now."

"You sure?"

"Yes!"

"I mean I know you like it when guys admire you and I would be perfectly happy to admire you now while you're getting dressed, like the last time in Whiterun?"

"You are so going to be kicked when I get out of here."

"But I get to stay and admire you first right?"

Sofia screamed.

"What a lovely singing voice you have dear. Of course that group of big burly hunters a few hundred yards down the river from here might misinterpret your song and come a running to save the damsel in distress and then you'll have a whole pack of guys admiring you so you might as well . . ."

"Valentine please!"

"Ah the magic word. I must obey." And I left the light hovering above the clothes and walked back to the camp where I sat with my back to the river until she got back.

"So," she began as she came up from behind me now that she was fully dressed. "Where's that Black Briar?"

I gestured to the bottles which were by the pack.

"I'm done," she informed me. "So you can go down and get washed off too."

"I think I will," I said getting up and stretching while she helped herself to a bottle and began to fill her mug up. I turned and took three steps, heard the sound of a magical spell being cast that I had never heard before and . . .

All my clothes were gone and all that was on me was a bit of dispersing smoke.

Sofia was rolling on the ground laughing.

"I love that spell!" she screamed.

"I am going to get you for this!" I said turning around, not a little put out.

"Nice weapon," she quipped. "I might need two hands to wield it."

And of course I was too self conscious to do anything other than walk down to the river, trying to maintain some semblance of dignity. When I got back, Sofia was laying upon her fur rollup on her side with her back to me. There were my clothes, in a rather undignified pile by the fire. And all three bottles of Black Briar were empty. Not that I wasn't surprised at this.

I unrolled my fur and plopped down as well. She rolled onto her back.

"Where did you learn that spell?" I queried.

"During my brief stay at the college in Winterhold," was her reply. "One of the students figured it out and taught it to me. It was my idea of course. Which was why they kicked me out of the college and not him."

"Of course," I answered. I smiled, though I knew she could not see it. "You'll have to be careful casting that spell around me," I proceeded. "Or I'll figure it out and cast it back on you."

She was very quiet after that. At least until she started to snore.

I was awake before she was the next morning. But then again, I had one mug of mead, and she had five. I was looking at Svaknir's book. I have to describe her waking up because I had never seen something so cute in all my days. Of course those of you who have had women up to your eyebrows no doubt have seen this sort of thing a million times, latest girlfriend waking up ho hum, here's the part where she stretches and I get to see her breasts pushing against the fabric of her diaphanous top, no big deal yada yada yada. Well you'll have to excuse me because this was my first girlfriend (Well I liked to pretend she was anyway) and so this stuff was all really like, magical? She squinted first, wrinkling the skin around her nose a bit and her arms went a bit over her head and her eyelids fluttered open, she decided she wanted to keep them closed, she rolled over on her stomach and buried her head in the fluff part of the fur, and then looked cautiously up at me.

Had she at this juncture said, "Valentine would you kick that giant between the knees real hard because I don't like the grumbly noises he's making?" I would have dashed off to do it immediately completely oblivious to the certainty of death which would have followed courtesy of that giant's club.

Rather she said, "What are you looking at with that old book?"

"Trying to figure out why Viarmo thinks Elisif will let us burn King Olaf based on this," I replied.

"That sounds like you think it's bad," Sofia observed.

"Bard Svaknir had it coming," I answered. "If I had had to listen to this drivel in the court I would have shived him myself before King Olaf would have had the time. Fortunately most of it's decayed beyond readability.

"It can't be that bad," suggested Sofia, now curious enough to half wiggle half crawl towards me in a manner I found horribly sensual though she was just too sleepy to want to stand up and walk over.

I began to read.

"O, Olaf, our subjugator, the one-eye betrayer,  
Death-dealing demon and dragon-killing King.  
Your legend is lies, lurid and false;  
Your cunning capture of Numinex, a con for the ages.

Garble Garble GARble Garble Garble

Olaf grabbed power, by promise and threat;  
From Falkreath to Winterhold, they fell to their knees;  
But Solitude stood strong, Skyrim's truest protectors.  
Olaf's vengeance was instant, inspired, and wicked.

Garble Garble Garble Garbelle Garble

So ends the story of Olaf, the liar,  
A thief and a scoundrel we of Solitude commit to the fire.  
In Solitude bards train for their service,  
They also gather each year and burn a King who deserves it."

Sofia paused for a moment and seemed to think.

"You know," she observed. "When the garble garble garble part is the most moving part you read, you know it stinks."

"You think?" I queried.

"I know!" she observed with a brightening smile. "We'll propose we burn Svaknir instead! Every year people gather at Solitude and burn a Bard who deserves it. Catchy don't you think?"

"Probably fraught with potential for misunderstanding," I mused. "Who's the bard that gets burned this year sort of thing."

"Yeah," she agreed with a sigh.

For the next half an hour we were too busy packing up our camping gear and getting ready to head towards Solitude. We walked along in silence for a while by the river. The foot trail we were taking would link up with the road to Morthal and we could turn north from there. Or, if we were not in the mood to swim through ice cold water, we could turn right, follow the road to Dragonbridge, then turn left, and walk to Solitude. To be frank, I was planning on taking that route. An idea was forming in my mind and I was going to need the time.

"So what are you going to say to Viarmo?" she asked. "He's not going to be happy."

"It was a tragic accident," I replied.

"The book fell into our fire while we were drunk," observed Sofia. When it came to mischief, she could pick up the cues almost instantaneously.

"More tragic than that," I replied. "I refuse to destroy the historical legacy of Skyrim by being drunk."

"Why not? It's never bothered me," was her retort.

"The book crumpled into dust the moment the sunlight hit it," I observed. "But fortunately, I had read it through several times prior while we were still in the tomb finding our way out. It was that gripping. And because of that, I was able to memorize it."

"Oh . . . We just write a substitute . . . Then we can party afterwards?" Her sarcasm was almost palpable.

"Yep," I replied. So you do the first line."

"What?"

"You heard me. Come up with the first line. Oh, Olaf our subjugator . . . You know . . ."

"You're the court jester, not me," was her retort.

"You're the court jester not me, doesn't run proper," I replied. There's Fornyrthislag . . . Five or four syllables followed by four or five. Then there's Ljothahatter, Six with four, then four with six. And finally Malahatter, Five then Six . . . The Court Jester, to you belongs. That base career, I am not part. That's how you say it, you know?"

"No I don't know, damn it!"

"Oh all right, I'll do it . . . For a kiss."

"You are getting such a beating."

"Before or after the kiss?"

Sofia's response was inappropriate for mixed company and children.

I thought for a moment, then looked at her walking alongside of me.

"What do you think of this first line?" I said.

"Olaf subjugator, one eyed liar;  
Death dealing thief, false dragon slayer;  
Your legend is lies, lurid and base."

She was mentally counting out the syllables. "It works," she said.

"Of course it works," I replied. "I made a life out of learning the song styles of Tamriel. What do you think of the second line, the one about how Numenex's capture is a con for the ages?"

She paused and began to think. I smiled to myself. When it came down to it, she wanted to do stuff with me. The trick was to pull her in without drawing attention to herself.

"Worm Numinex, the great dragon;  
You caught him not, for you were weak;  
That is the lie, the false tale spun."

"Not bad," I suggested.

"So what really happened?" she asked.

"According to the history, Olaf did catch that dragon. That's the whole point of Dragon's Reach. So either Svaknir is denying the truth or a massive lie has manage to survive historical scrutiny."

"What do you think?" she asked.

"Svaknir's lying," I said with complete conviction. "I've seen Dragon's Reach. And I've seen dragons. A dragon could be held there."

"Then if he's lying, we don't have to worry about being accurate do we?" observed Sofia grinning. "How about this . . . Oh! I may need a mug of mead to figure this out right . . ."

I pulled a bottle out of my other secret stash. One needed a lot of drink if one was to keep Sofia happy. We took swigs as we passed it back and forth.

By foul magic, stolen at night;  
Winterhold shaken, dragon takes flight;  
Olaf has turned, transformed in stealth.

I paused . . . "I think this could be polished a bit . . ."

"Hey it's a great idea!" she argued. "Olaf was Numenex in dragon form."

"It is a good idea," I replied. "But we need to make that clearer. How about this?"

Olaf transforms, Numinex he is;  
Winterhold spell, thieves in the night;  
Skyrim stricken, a false dragon.

"I think my style was better," argued Sofia.

"I borrowed one line," I argued. "But here's another line to add.

Dragon's Reach act, before the people;  
Skyrim's nobles, see the Dragon;  
Olaf gains glory, laughs to himself.

"Needs work," she said.

"Such as?"

"Damn it you weren't supposed to say that," she grumbled.

"Have another swig of mead, Sofia."

"Okay, but only because you told me to."

"Olaf grabbed power, by promise false;  
Threatened Skyrim, they are prostrate;  
Solitude yet stands, Skyrim's fair guard.

Olaf's vengeance, instant and wicked;  
Winterhold falls, fires cover her,  
False orders given, switched by young fools.

The dragon rises, Olaf has come;  
He burns and loots, destroys an ally;  
True heroes hold, Bards sing of them.

So ends Olaf, liar and scoundrel,  
We of Solitude, recall each year,  
And burn the king, so deserving."

So we finished. Of course Sofia added several lines as she got into it, and the mead got into her. She started chanting it and dancing to the natural rhythms of it. By the time we got to Dragon's Bridge it was getting late and the sun was too low to hope to make it to Solitude by nightfall. Neither of us were liking traveling at night these days. We had already run into a pair of vampires and their dogs. There were rumors in the air of a secret war between vampires and a force known as The Dawnguard. Sofia had gotten infected, but I had a potion of cure diseases on me and she was able to recover. Even so I will confess I spent a lot of time by the hidden shrines to Talos in the woods around Skyrim for a few days begging for her safety.

As usual, I played for our supper and room. Sofia beat a drum alongside my lute and songs. She was getting adequate at the drum and so I insisted she join in. There were plenty of solo bards about, but a pair was something unique since we could bring not just two voices, but two instruments. I didn't want her singing yet. She had a great voice, but she kept getting the words mixed up.

We woke up the next morning, thanked the Innkeeper, and traveled towards Solitude while we practiced the poem as a duet. Once again I noticed that Sofia was getting into the performance bit of the affair. It was clear she liked the attention and if performing well would achieve that, well she would throw herself into it with enthusiasm.

Viarmo however, was not so enthusiastic. He was convinced that the Burning of King Olaf was doomed.

"Trust us!" I argued.

"As if you have a choice?" suggested Sofia. She had a point, but it was rude to express it at the present juncture.

Like a man walking to his execution, Viarmo headed for the Blue Palace with the two of us in tow.

"Maybe we should have just given him the book," suggested Sofia in a very quiet whisper who was now suffering from a combination of stage fright and conscious jitters.

I shook my head.

"It's better this way," I whispered back, putting my mouth as close to her hear as possible so my lips might brush her hair and ear. I admit it, I was pulling every stunt I could think of to maintain some form of physical contact with that woman. "I'm betting Jarl Elisif will love it."

And she did too. We recited the poem in the form of a duet. Each of us citing specific lines as I had rehearsed with Sofia while we had been walking back from Dragon Bridge. Elisif liked it precisely because it was, in her words, a condemnation of false kings; something she was very sensitive about since her husband had been killed by Ulfric Stormcloak. She was the sort of woman I would have gladly served under, but I had Sofia to think of, and furthermore, I had that oath I had taken. It was moments like this that I was horribly annoyed about it. It just wasn't fair. I was supposed to die. My head was supposed to fly off. If that damn dragon hadn't . . . But then again, if that damn captain hadn't . . But then again . . . I could have played the what if's for the entirety of my life. There was no point. I was, by oath, a Stormcloak now. I might not be actively aiding them, but I was bound sufficiently in my point of view to prevent me from getting too deep into the pro-Imperial politics of Solitude. My heart really went out to her in that throne room. She looked small and vulnerable, and had been deeply in love with her husband, High King Torygg whom Ulfric had killed. Sofia remained completely unaware of my feelings as she no doubt would have found a way to insult Elisif in her own throne room.

Jarl Elisif rewarded the college with a fine patronage of which Sofia and I got a nice chunk.

"How about you let me look after that reward of ours," she suggested. "What? Don't you trust me? What about if I flutter my eyelashes?"

And then we got ready for the festival. And as Sofia and I had made it possible, to say that we were popular that night would be understating the matter. Viarmo the headmaster was almost giddy with amazed astonishment. Folks really liked the festival since it was always held in the summer, when the weather was warmest, and it was a nice break from the mundane routine of the city. I was formerly inducted into the college, which is what I had been trying to achieve since I had heard of it's existence down in Cyrodiil and had been working my way north since. Sofia of course, quickly noted we were popular and starting pointing people in my direction for drinks. And people would come up to me and either wanted me to eat something they had gotten for me, such as a sweet roll, or have a glass of spiced wine with them. By the end of the evening, not only did I feel bloated, I was drunk as well. As for Sofia, she was her usual inebriated self.

We swayed back to the Winking Skeever where I was too drunk to play for a room and had to buy it proper. We got into it, we fell upon the bed, I took her into my arms, and we fell asleep. It was wonderful, that few brief moments of feeling her cuddled next to me, smelling her hair . . . Well to be frank I was mostly smelling her breath which reminded me of stale mead. But she simply hummed happy sighs for a few seconds, and then I don't remember any more because I was asleep. But I was certain that now, this was it. We would wake up together, she would look into my eyes, we might kiss a little, and then we would either talk about our plans for the rest of our lives together or we would just up and make love. I really didn't know what to expect when it came down to it. And of course this was Sofia we were talking about.

Yes, I was being a totally naive fool.


	6. Chapter 6 - A Song For Kynesgrove

"We don't have to take orders from that old skeever. As far as I'm concerned you're Dragonborn, I'm extremely beautiful and tough, and she should be taking orders from us!"

"That's your opinion on the chain of command then?" I replied.

Sofia was, as usual, looking horribly cute and cuddly in the sunlight on the road outside of Riverwood. The first touches of fall were changing the leaves and Delphine, the Innkeeper slash secret agent of some unknown dark and mysterious power had run ahead to find her own little tree. Or at least that was the phrase my mother would use when we were on long travels around Cyrodiil. Now as I've observed before, the cute and cuddly quality would vanish every time she opened her mouth but it came back to the fore rather dramatically the moment her mouth was shut again.

"Of course," was Sofia's reply.

"Funny how you don't take orders from me," I observed.

"Why should I? I'm the tough and beautiful one."

"Which is of course why we get into fights in the middle of fights because once again you've jumped in front of me while I'm trying to line up a shot with my bow or trying to unleash that fear spell," I continued. "One of these days I'm going to shoot you because you jumped just as I let loose."

"You just need to be more flexible," was Sofia's response.

"And Delphine is not an old skeever," I concluded. "You're once again acting like I'm your boyfriend. Why should you care if I crawl into Delphine's sleeping fur tonight? You never flirt with me like you do the other guys"

"That old wrinkled hag? You would prefer her to me? And what I'm doing is getting drinks. It's not like I think those guys are cute . . . Most of the time . . . And it's not as if I plan to letting them kiss me or anything."

"Most of the time," I added. "And on the subject of Delphine. She's not wrinkled. And she has blond hair. She's strong, tough, and she's clever. She was standing right there when Farengar was getting the dragon stone from us and neither of us recognized her. And she's an agent for some mysterious group we have no clue about. There's a lot of the exotic in Delphine. So why not?"

Now I had no intention of getting into Delphine's furs. She wasn't that attractive. Her voice in particular was one of those low matter of fact voices with a tone that suggested more testosterone than necessary. Likewise she wore that leather armor which I found clunky. But it was annoying Sofia and anything which suggested to Sofia that she might have competition for my favors was something I was more than happy to cultivate. After all, if Sofia was going to play the "can't touch this" game with me, I was more than happy to play the "Maybe I'll switch girlfriends in a day or two" game with her.

"Well maybe I'll just find another guy to stalk," retorted Sofia. Her expression was worked up into a rather angry sneer.

"No you won't," I replied with an all knowing grin. "I'm the only guy you've ever or will ever track down. And that was before you knew I was Dragonborn. Now that it's obvious who I am, you won't throw away such a status symbol, especially during the fame of my exploits is still spreading phase. No no no, you'll sit like a garden spider, all nice and yellow and black among the flowers in your silver web and wait for the silly city guard bugs to stumble into your lair. But you won't leave me to stalk another guy."

You may be asking why I really was at all interested in Sofia given that I had gotten to know her pretty good, almost as good as my closest friends and family back in the Imperial City. She was loud, expected me to be at her beck and call, more than a little indiscrete, lacked any concept of situational awareness, and refused to commit to any suggestion of a life long partnership of love and trust. Seriously, it's a very good question. By now more than a few women knew I was Dragonborn. In Skyrim that was the ultimate chick magnet. Lisette that cute little blond bard in Solitude at the Winking Skeever? She was interested. Camilla was flirting with me every time I dropped by Riverwood and likewise had seen right through Sofia's pretense that we were a couple.

A wise man would have said I was infatuated. That is, I was in love with an image I had put on Sofia which wasn't really there. And there might have been some of that. But what I saw in Sofia was something a little different which was perfectly consistent with her behavior. There was pain, buried deep, which she was constantly working to numb by a combination of alcohol, sexual advertising, self-promotion, and clinging to social status symbols. There was a self-loathing underneath that brass which required constant suppression.

No, she didn't know I was Dragonborn when she latched on to me. But she had seen something in me which suggested status, no doubt the fact that I was born and raised in the Imperial nobility, so she honed in and followed me, working up a means by which we might meet and then she could tag along. So where did I get this idea about her? Well everything about her was just a bit off. If I complimented Lisette, Camilla, or Ysolda, that sweet prospective innkeeper in Whiterun, on their dress or make up, they smiled and said "Thank you." Sofia said, "of course." Oh she had her moments of insecurity. She was terrified that her breasts were not the right size. She was worried how she looked in make up, but her usual attitude was "I'm good looking, admire me."

Then there was the flirtations. It was always with at least two guys, if not more. She deliberately surrounded herself with piles of guys. She would create this pseudo competition for her affections which would keep all the guys around her trying to 'win'. It acted to keep them at a distance since social graces required that you not get too intimate with a girl in a public setting. It was strictly for manipulation purposes. It was how she got more drinks than I was able to provide.

And so we get to the abuse of alcohol. She didn't get drunk by accident. There never was the "one too many there, better step outside and cool off if you know what I mean" sort of concern. It was a constant. She got drunk every chance she could. And if I were not providing it, she was getting it from other guys. And that was the real bite. That was where I really felt like a wretch. Because on a very real level I was enabling her to do that. I kept her supplied. Any wine, mead, brandy I could snag in our adventures, I secured and packed up. And I fed it to her routinely in the camps. And I did it because it was the only time she allowed me a little physical expression of affection. She would sit next to me by the fire while I filled up her mug. She would lean on me when the world started to sway. And when she was ready to sleep, she would plop down next to me and snuggle up and snore and I got to sort of hold her in my arms. And there were the times she would get so sick she would need to throw up. Naturally I was there to guide her to a spot away from the camp, hold her up as she spewed, wash her face off. Hold her and let her know I was there to take care of it. There were times when I honestly wondered if she had turned out to be a skooma addict, if I would have been giving that to her too.

She knew on some level that if we were to be a team, she had to pull her own load, yet she resented that. Granted, Lydia complained too on occasion, but that was because she was honor bound to do it even when it was abusive. I tried not to be abusive with Lydia, but getting the dragon bones back to the store where they were sold for a nice tidy profit was hard work. For creatures capable of flying like that, dragon bones were rather heavy. So I put up with Lydia's "I am sworn to carry your burdens," sigh which she infrequently expressed. But for Sofia? It was a constant. "Next time you carry my stuff," or "Yippee! I love carrying people's junk," or "Okay but you owe me!" or "But if I break my back you're carrying me." and who could forget the "Oops I dropped that Ha! You should have seen the look on your face!"

In short, she was not acting like a normal girl who has a crush on a guy. She was acting like a girl who hated herself so much she would deliberately keep at a distance a guy she actually did want to love. So why did she hate herself so much? I had no clue. But I was determined to find out, fix it, and then I'd have her. That was why I was taking the abuse. There she stood, looking at me as Delphine came back from her little side jaunt due to Kynareth's call of nature, thinking she had me wrapped around her little finger, and I was busy trying to pick the lock in her brain (note I said brain) in order to look at the black file inside and deal with it.

"Ready to go?" I asked Delphine.

She nodded.

We proceeded to jog down the road. Our goal was Kynesgrove, a small town south of Windhelm where there was what the locals called a dragon mound to the east of the town up a small foot path in the hills behind the village. Kynesgrove itself wasn't much to brag about. It was just an inn with an open field for the tents of the miners who made their living there. There had been plans for a lumber mill as well, but apparently the trees in that area were sacred. Delphine was convinced that the source of the dragons were these dragon mounds. For the dragons were coming back to life. How did she know this? Apparently these dragon mounds were where the Nords had buried the old dragons they had killed once upon a time. Before Helgen, they had all been filled. After Helgen, one by one, they were being opened up. Delphine seemed to think that if we got to the mound where the 'pattern' she had figured out put the next opening, we would be able to see what was happening and learn something about stopping it.

"Damn it," grumbled Sofia. "All this running is giving me a front wedgie."

Delphine and I both stopped and looked at Sofia.

"I said that out loud didn't I?" observed Sofia. Her expression had a bit of a blush.

Delphine and I both nodded our heads.

"The strip between your legs is too thin if you're having that issue," observed Delphine. "Try wearing just a wrap around under your skirt."

"Or go without," I proposed with not even the hint of a cheesy adolescent grin on my face. "Your skirt falls to your ankles, so there's no chance of anyone seeing anything."

So naturally Sofia simply hiked up her skirt so she could get a good grip on those tiny undergarments of hers, she slipped them off, tossed them on the road, and proceeded to blast them into ash with a fire-bolt.

"They were old anyway," was her excuse.

Delphine gave me one of those knowing looks. The sort that suggests that your girlfriend is a bit to indiscreet on certain matters. Part of me was amused that folks were certain Sofia and I were a couple. The other part of me was angry that we were not. And a third part was sad that I saw no way it could ever happen given her personality.

We proceeded to run down the road for a while. It was near the end of the day that we had our next check. The problem was that Kynesgrove was on the other side of the White River and there were only two bridges to cross the river, the first was just south of Windhelm, and the other was at Darkwater Crossing, which was way south of Kynesgrove. My proposal was to swim the White River at the Mixwater Mill. Delphine preferred to travel up to Windhelm and then turn south once we crossed the river. I argued that this would take more time. We proceeded to debate the pros and cons of either approach as we continued down the road, fought a Cave Bear who took a dislike to us, and then dealt with an assassin from the Black Hand who was supposed to kill me, at least according to the note he was carrying. Sofia seemed rather pleased about that, in part because she was the one who strike the killing blow with her dagger, but also because it was a genuine black hand assassin.

"You are happy that there are assassins trying to kill the Dragonborn?" queried Delphine, not a little suspicious.

"The Black Hand only targets important people," replied Sofia.

Delphine's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Sofia," I remarked. ". . . loves the attention."

"You could end up dead!" argued Delphine.

"No way," replied Sofia. "I'm with him. No one can kill him as long as I'm with him."

"See?" I proceeded. "Sofia will kill anyone who tries to kill me first."

"You're crazy," grumbled Delphine. "The both of you."

When we reached Mixwater Mill, Delphine decided she was taking the road. So Sofia and I swam the river, dashed up the banks, found a small shack where a treasure map was found tucked into a nook and from there it was on to Kynesgrove.

It was night when we got there, so I played for our supper and room. Sofia was unable to drink herself into a serious stupor due to the fact that Roggi, the only other serious drinker in the bar had a massive tab with the tavern already and accordingly he was not able to supply Sofia with sufficient drink. Needless to say I was smiling a lot that night while I was playing my lute and singing. Once it became clear to Sofia that she wasn't going to get anything out of Roggi, and as I had only given her an allowance of one bottle for the evening, she sat next to me and began to beat along with the drum.

I have never forgotten that night because of what happened next. Sofia, unable to get drunk, began to concentrate on beating the drum to the rhythm of my music and several of the miners got up and began to dance. She began to beat on the drum in a slightly different style and she began to notice that the dancing likewise changed it's pitch. I looked at her and give her a wink and she gave me a grin back. Over the next few songs, we changed timber and pitch and watched how the revelers changed how they moved to the music we were making. I would look over to Sofia and each time she would look back I saw her little grin get wider until it transformed into a big smile over the next half an hour. She had forgotten herself in the music and for the first time since I had met her, she seemed genuinely happy.

The set ended an hour later and Sofia, still smiling, got up with me and we walked to our room. I closed the door behind us and turned to face her. For the first time in what had seemed forever, she met my gaze and for just a moment I merely looked into those wonderful eyes of hers. Then I put my arms around her, pulled her in, and we had an honest to goodness kiss, that sort that did merit fireworks and women singing arias in the background. It was such a wonderful sensation. I thought at last, we were going to fall in love, we were going to be happy together for the rest of our lives. And so I kissed her a few more times, and listened to her breathing get more intense. And then I paused, looked into her eyes and said, "I love you Sofia. I've loved you since I first laid eyes upon you."

And then she pushed me on the floor so hard I was surprised, once I had gotten over the fact that I was in pain from the impact, that nothing was broken.

"Don't you EVER!" she practically screamed "EVER say that to me again!"

"What In OBLIVION is wrong with you?" I shouted back.

I swear that woman specialized in destroying romantic moods.

I stood up.

"You don't know me," retorted Sofia.

"I know you better than most of my friends," I replied at a fairly decent volume. "We've been together since the middle of Last Seed and now it's the middle of Frostfall! Twenty four hours of non-stop Sofia for not a few weeks and you say I don't know you?"

"No! You don't. If you really knew me? You wouldn't be love with me. So don't tell me that you are! It's a lie!"

I will confess this behavior made absolutely no sense. Especially when you consider this was coming from a woman that was firmly of the opinion that she was one of the most beautiful women in Skyrim. So as that thought popped through my head I decided to try that tack.

"How can it be a lie?" I asked, trying to keep from shouting it. My emotions were on full ship's deck in a hurricane mode. "You're one of the most beautiful women in the world. Why wouldn't any man be in love with you?"

"You're just saying that!" she shot back.

"No!" I replied. "You're ALWAYS saying that!"

"Damn it!" she shrieked. "Don't make me leave you."

I shook my head. "I'm trying to spend the rest of my life with you," I struggled to get out. "How can I be driving you away. I want you to be happy."

"I don't deserve to be happy. So stop trying," she muttered.

I sat down on the bed. I was terrified of what might happen next, but I said it anyway.

"So are you going to leave then?" I asked.

"Do you want me to?" she replied, giving me the impression that she was firmly of the opinion that I was going to say yes.

"No," I said. "I don't want you to go."

"Why?" she came back.

"You won't believe the answer," I replied. "So there's no point in expressing it."

I flopped down on the bed and lay back staring at the ceiling. Anger, frustration, grief, all were rolled up into one and the cause of it was just leaning against the door staring at me. Then she turned her back on me, opened the door, and walked out. I thought I was going to cry.

I don't know when I fell asleep. All I know was that Delphine was shaking me awake and Sofia was sitting up in the bed next to me, looking groggy and hungover. Apparently she had gotten drunk on her own cash.

"Come on!" hissed Delphine. "There's a big black dragon at the mound, and he's doing something. We need to get up there."

I heard the crack of thunder. And I bolted from the bed.

"Come on Sofia!" I said. "We've got work to do."

She grumbled and half rolled half fell half got out of the bed.

"Stay back behind me and Delphine," I said to her over my shoulder as we reached the door to the inn. "I don't want you killed because you were out of sorts."

"I'll be fine," she groaned back.

We came out of the inn and turned to your right.

"No! You don't want to go up there!" cried a woman. "A Dragon. It's attacking!"

"Where is it?" I cried.

"It just flew over the town. It's heading for that burial mound!" she answered. "I don't know what it's doing up there but I'm not waiting around to find out!"

"Come on!" muttered Delphine. "Hurry! We might be too late!"

We dashed forward. There was a footpath which took us past a mine and wound about the hill and rocks. And as I ran forward, I heard another crack of thunder and a low growling voice say, "Sahloknir, Ziil gro dovah ulse."

"We need to find out what's happening," continued Delphine scooting forward.

I crouched and crept and then I saw it. Or rather, I saw two things. The first was that big black spiny which had saved me from certain death at the hands of the Imperials. It was rather loudly hovering over the burial mound. But the mound itself was steaming. That was the only way to describe it. Some sort of magical steam was rising from the mound as the big black dragon hovered.

"Lorkhan's eyes," gasped Delphine. "Look at that big black bastard. Keep your head down! Let's see what it does."

I was more than happy to comply. I had seen that big black boy in action at Helgen. I was in no mood to replay that scene in my life, even with weapons, magic, and good solid enchanted mage robes on.

The big black spiny once again said that phrase. And then it said in a more firm and determined voice, "Slen Tiid Vo!" There was another crack of thunder and the mound exploded.

"Damn it, this is not good," muttered Sofia beside me. It was as if nothing bad had happened the night before. There she was, as close to me as she dared.

Then the skeleton began to speak as flames covered it and flesh began to grow upon it.

"Alduin, thuri! Boaan tiid vokriiha suleyksejun kruziik?"

"What's he saying?" asked Sofia looking at me. I looked back at her and shook my head.

"Geh, Sahloknir, kaali mir," replied the big black spiny. And then, as if it had not mattered a bit that I was trying to hide behind some rocks which were three times my size, big black looked right at me and said, "Ful, losei Dovahkiin? Zu'u koraav nid nol dov do hi." He paused for a second. "You do not even know our tongue do you? Such arrogance, to dare take for yourself the name of dovah." Then he looked back at the other dragon, now fully reconstituted and looking way more healthy than any of us wished. "Sahloknir, krii daar joorre." And he flew away. The other dragon promptly rose up and cried "I am Sahloknir, hear my voice and despair!" And he attacked.

Suddenly I felt Sofia's hand squeeze my arm and then we were in battle mode. With one hand I cast stone flesh and with the other hand I unleashed fire bolt after fire bolt. Delphine was firing arrows and Sophia was likewise firing ice bolts. As for the dragon Sahloknir, he was strafing the area with a freezing breath.

"You try to hurt me and my boyfriend will shout at you!" taunted Sofia.

I was too busy concentrating on hitting that floating lizard with my fire bolts to ask myself why Sofia had just addressed me as 'boyfriend'. But as Sahloknir was hovering over me and preparing to freeze me solid with his voice I shouted, first. "FUS ROH DA!" The force shook him up. He growled in pain and then, as was par for the course, lined up again and I had to duck to keep from getting frosted like a Skyrim birthday cake.

"I told you!" mocked Sofia. "But did you listen? No! Now you have to deal with me, lizard. And I do worse than shout, I nag!"

"My Lord Alduin requires your death. I am glad to oblige him!" roared Sahloknir.

Another thought flitted through my mind. Was it possible that Sofia's self loathing was such that she was actively seeking death? I didn't like that thought, and I felt myself getting, for the first time ever in a battle, terrified not of me dying, but of someone else dying instead. I became totally focused upon Sahloknir, I fired off bolt after bolt, I shouted every time he seemed to be trying to shout and thus kept him off balance. But what I became totally unaware of was what Delphine was doing. I had only two thoughts in my mind, the death of Sahloknir and the protection of Sofia.

"It's to be a real fight then?" said Sahloknir. "Good!"

"Damn straight Sahloknir!" I cried back. "If you want to kill us, you're going to have to fight us first!"

He charged crying, "Thurri du hin sille ko Sovengarde!" I had no idea what that meant, but I suspected he was promising to send me there. He hit the ground with a belly flop and rolled right towards Sofia and myself. I pushed her out of the way and managed to dive with her at the last second. Then, like a total idiot, I pulled out my dagger and leapt up on top of him and ran for his head.

Now you may ask how I was going to kill a beast with a head the size of my body with a dagger? The answer of course is that I didn't. Delphine put an arrow up his gullet which pierced his brain and he fell forward. I didn't fly off when the body impacted the ground because I was able to grab one of the horns as I felt everything go flaccid underneath my feet. But I did bounce around a bit as his head hit the ground. Then I felt that curious feeling once again of a being trying to escape only to be absorbed by myself and it's despair and hopelessness as it felt itself going. I really was getting to loath that feeling. Something was fully ceasing to be because I was there and I didn't like what it suggested.

"That's how it's done," proclaimed Delphine. She was feeling rather good knowing she was the one who had struck the fatal blow. Not that I blamed her. Taking down something this big is always a very vindicating feeling. Being Dragonborn was only a step above being a dragon slayer. Then she looked at me. "So you really are . . . It's true isn't it? You really are Dragonborn.

"Of course it's true," retorted Sofia. "You think I would be adventuring with anyone else?"

It was so typical Sofia, self-absorbed and self-aggrandizing, but I my heart was beating like a young boy who just had a cute girl smile at him. Because it meant she was not ready to walk out of my life just yet. I would have given anything for her to be with me because she loved me, but at the moment all I could hold her with was my status and I was not going to begrudge that. That's what desire does to a guy. I simply was so desirous of her that I was going to take what ever hold I had and use it. Oh yes, it's supposed to be about mutual love and respect but I didn't have that right now and I wanted to have it with her. It was rather frustrating and not in that sense before your dirty mind gets any ideas. (See how much influence she had on me already?) It was to have something just out of reach, constantly. Every time you leapt, you could only brush it with the tips of your fingers. It was my fate to be utterly smitten by a girl who was staying with me simply because I was someone important. And I could not seem to be able to break through that wall. Imagine if you will, giving a girl something precious and she takes it not because she recognizes that you are giving it because you love her and want her to be happy, but because it's her due. And imagine that she thinks it's her due not because she was a spoiled little brat who's daddy did wonderful things to his little girl all her childhood, but in fact because she was so possessed with such a deep self-loathing that she constantly had to buck herself up and thus was constantly telling her self that she deserved such treatment. How do I know she wasn't a spoiled brat? Spoiled brats don't go around putting down their parents. Sofia did. Kids who are always putting down their parents are kids who have done something their parents wouldn't approve of and don't want the guilt trip. Remember my mother and the Night Ritual? Did I leave because I hated her? No I left because I loved her and was terrified she'd find a way to get me to turn against my half-brother. You've never heard me suggest she was a bad mother or never loved me did you?

Sofia said she was horrible, and she was acting as if she had done something horrible. But what she didn't know was that I was so desirous of her that I was prepared to forgive her any crime provided she said she was sorry. And such a thought not only had not entered into her brain, it simply could not enter into her brain. That was what I was going to have to pound into her head. But how?

Back to the present. "I owe you some answers don't I?" began Delphine. "Go ahead. What ever you want to know. Nothing held back."

"Okay," I said. "Who are you really?"

"I'm one of the last members of the Blades," she said.

The Blades . . . I paused to take a breath. I remembered the story. Everyone who cared about the Oblivion Crises remembered the story. But more so my family, the Florians. It was a young member of the Blades who had been present at the death of the Emperor, had taken the Amulet of Kings to Joffrey, the Grand Master of the Blades, who had rescued Martin from burning Kvatch, gotten him to Cloud Ruler Temple, in short, the one Blade who had made it possible for Martin to be the last Septim Emperor and sacrifice himself to drive Mehrunes Dagon back into Oblivion. Because of him, the blood of the last Septim Emperor ran in my veins. Because of him, I was Dragonborn. And here was one of the last members standing before me.

And there I was, playing the damn fool hero and nearly getting myself killed on top of that dragon's head. I was standing in the presence of a giant. A legend of glory from beyond. I felt so damned inadequate.

"A very long time ago, the Blades were dragon slayers, and we served the Dragonborn, the greatest of dragon slayers. For the last two hundred years, since the death of the last Dragonborn emperor, the Blades have been searching for a purpose. Now that dragons are coming back, our purpose is clear again. We need to stop them."

"So what do you know about them coming back?" I asked.

"Not a damn thing. I was just as surprised as you to find that big black dragon here."

"I've seen that dragon before, the one that got away."

"Really? Where?"

"It was the one that attacked Helgen, when Ulfric escaped from the Imperials. Sahloknir seems to have called him Alduin."

"Interesting, same dragon," mused Delphine. "Damn it! We're blundering around in the dark here! We need to figure out who's behind it all!"

"So what's our next move?" I asked.

"You don't know?" asked Sofia, somewhat shocked.

"No, Sofia," I replied "I don't. I have no more clue than Delphine."

"Then we just hunt down this Alduin and kill him," suggested Sofia. "He dies, he stops bringing the other dragons to life. End of problem."

"True enough," I observed. "Now do you happen to know which tavern Alduin likes to drink at?"

"Since I figured out the solution, you deal with the details," replied Sofia.

"The first thing we need to do is figure out who's behind the dragons," mused Delphine.

"You think Big Black Alduin is being run behind the scenes?" I asked. It did sound rather crazy when you thought of it, but even so, it wasn't as if I knew anything more about dragons other than what shouts and spells I had which annoyed them most.

"The Thalmor are our best lead. If they aren't involved, they'll know who is," suggested Delphine.

"What makes you think the Thalmor are bringing dragons back?" I asked. Given how big and powerful Alduin was, and given how he had regarded me as nothing more than a worm with delusions of grandeur, I had a hard time imagining such a beast being under the dominion of anyone, especially Mer whom were just as easy to smush as Humans. But this was a Blade. They were great heroes. She might know something that I didn't. After all, I was merely a Bard who happened to have a genealogy which had given me a supernatural advantage which meant that if the dragon didn't kill me first, it would stay dead once I killed it.

"Nothing solid, yet. But my gut tells me it can't be anybody else," she answered. "The Empire had captured Ulfric. The war was basically over. Then a dragon attacks, Ulfric escapes, and the war is back on. And now the dragons are attacking everywhere, indiscriminately, Skyrim is weakened, the Empire is weakened. Who else gains from that but the Thalmor?"

She had a point. A very good point. But the question in my mind was this, were dragons attacking Summerset too? If they were, the Thalmor would not be behind it. No one unleashes a catastrophe on their enemies which proves just as catastrophic for your own team. No one can predict who will end up more devastated. With dragons blasting everyone everywhere, there's no telling who'll be able to beat who in the end, if anyone will be able to beat anyone anyway.

"So we need to find out what the Thalmor know about the dragons," I concluded. "Any ideas?"

"If we could get into the Thalmor Embassy," mused Delphine. "It's the center of their operations in Skyrim. Problem is, that place is locked up tighter than a miser's purse . . ."

"And Sofia's legs," I sighed silently to myself.

"They could teach me a few things about paranoia," continued Delphine.

"So how do we get into the Thalmor Embassy?" I asked.

"I smile sweetly, pretend I'm all innocent and . . ." began Sofia.

Delphine cut her short with a "Won't work!"

"What will work?" I asked.

"I'm not sure yet," she continued. "I have a few ideas, but I'll need some time to pull a few things together . . . Meet me back in Riverwood. If I'm not back when you get there, wait for me, I shouldn't be long." She paused. "Keep an eye on the sky, this is only going to get worse."

And Delphine took off heading south. There was one of those pregnant pauses which show up in the theater on occasion. I looked over at Sofia, and once again found myself wishing I could look into those beautiful blue eyes of hers and seeing a love for me within them.

"What's wrong with smiling sweetly and looking innocent?" began Sofia.

"Delphine does not think this time it will work," I replied.

"It works with the guards," began Sofia. "I can get away with just about anything . . . Not that I'm a bad person or anything . . ."

"Except the part about how you don't deserve to be loved," I replied.

"I don't want to talk about that," she snapped.

"Well I do," I replied.

"Get over me!" she shouted.

"Do you have any idea how many girls want me right now because I'm Dragonborn?" I practically exploded, throwing my arms out as wide as I could. "Are they better than you? The self-proclaimed most beautiful woman in Skyrim?"

"Quit saying that!" She shouted back. "You make it sound like I'm a braggart! I hate it when people go around being all self-important and boasting and . . ."

"PRECISELY!" I leapt at the sentence mid-exposition and nailed it down with a very big hammer. "You hate everything you are about yourself."

"I don't want to hear this!" she shouted and turned and ran. I pursued. She charged down the footpath and we dashed past the mine. I could hear a guy mocking "Ha ha! Look at the lovers!" as we ran by and I suppressed the urge to shout him into the cliff face behind him. As is so often the case with people who are in a panic, for what ever reason, she was running simply away. If she had been thinking, she would have dashed into the bar because the fight we were about to have was not the sort which could be conducted in the presence of witnesses. But she literally was dashing right into the spot I wanted her to go, far away from the crowds, into the wilderness. There, in the East March Hot Springs, south of Kynesgrove, I caught up to her and tackled her right on top of an untouched dragon mound.

When one is dealing with a woman who knows how to fight, your first tactic is to render her legs impotent while taking advantage of your upper muscle mass. The most effective way of doing this is sitting on her hips and holding her down by the shoulders. If you try for the legs, she's going to kick you . . . repeatedly . . . in the head. And you'll get all dizzy and then pass out.

So when I came to on that dragon mound, Sofia sitting next to me looking rather smug.

"About time you got back up," she observed. "It's already afternoon."

She had made a very strategic blunder. She had underestimated her opponent's determination. Perfectly natural error on her part. Seeing herself as unloveable, she simply could not imagine the depths of affection I had for her, that desire to make her the happiest girl on earth. That stubborn determination which comes from loving someone with every depth of your being. Yeah yeah yeah trowel it on Valentine. Okay, so I had a big infantile crush on the girl, I admit it. But there was that obstacle to surmount. That challenge. They say that guys really appreciate the girls they had to work for and so some clever girls deliberately play hard to get so that the guy, having worked like a dog to get them, will appreciate them even more, provided the guy is not the sort who is so utterly self-absorbed he is incapable of distinguishing between the girl who's deliberately playing hard to get and the girl who finds his presence so nauseating that she's doing everything in her power to be polite while saying no.

If this had been the case with Sofia, it would have been the most masterful playing of that tactic around. But it wasn't. She was not only at war with my affection, she was at war with herself. And so she did not see the second attack coming, which this time, worked.

"Get off me!" she screamed.

"Not until we've talked this out," I replied.

"There's nothing to talk about!" she snapped.

"Oh yes there is," I replied..

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

This went on for a bit so I'll cut it short for brevities sake.

"I'm not letting you up until you admit that I love you," I replied.

"You are crazy!" she screamed.

"No I am in love. And because I am in love, I do silly things for the girl I am in love with."

"You can't be in love with me!"

"Yes I can."

"Can't!"

"Can."

And again it went on for a while.

"It's getting late," argued Sofia after a bit. "If we don't get moving we won't make it back to the inn before sunset and we'll not be able to get a room."

"That's okay," I said. "I can camp outside with you. We've done it before. I mean if you are going to persist in telling me I can't possibly be in love with you when I know for a fact that I can and am, then I guess I'll be sitting on you all night . . . On the cold hard ground . . . Hoping that Alduin doesn't come along and wake this dragon up underneath us because that is the only thing that will get me to get up and let you go. So . . . You feeling lucky, Sofia?"

"I hate you," she growled.

"And I love you," I replied.

"You are insane if you do!" she screamed.

"No I'm perfectly sane. I have the very first girl I have ever cared about right here and I'm not letting her go until she admits that I actually do care about her."

The sun got lower, and she clenched her mouth tight. I kept staring into those big blue eyes of hers and she kept trying to avoid my gaze. But part of her did want to look back, and so her eyes would keep coming back.

"I have to go to the bathroom," she opined.

"Better admit it then," I replied. "Cause it will be really embarrassing for you to soil yourself on top of a dragon mound when there's no dragon coming out of it for an excuse."

"You can't be . . ."

"I can."

"Oh alright!" she shouted. "You love me, but I don't!"

"You don't love me?"

"I don't love me! Happy?"

"Not entirely, but more happy than I was a few hours ago," I said getting up. "Come on girl, let's get back to Kynesgrove and sing for our supper and bed."

I helped her up and put my arm around her shoulder and she leaned in and we walked back to the inn like that. The miners grinned, thinking we were coming back after engaging in something other than what we had been engaging in and I grinned back because in a way, we had.

That night, we played together. She remained sober until after we had finished our set, then she came into the bedroom with a bottle of mead in each hand and chatting with me while she polished both of them off. Then as she flopped down on the bed next to me and just snuggled up by her own accord. It was going to be one of the better nights I mused.

"Don't even think about talking about marriage," she suggested. "Although I . . . Nope, forget it. Not going there at all."

"Don't worry Sofia," I said. "I won't be talking about spending the rest of my life with you until I hear you say the words, 'I love you' back. But of course don't think I'm going to be leaving you either."

"If you did, the first guy with a two handed hammer would cave your skull in," she suggested. "So if you want to live . . . You'll stick with me."

"Oh alright," I sighed while smiling to myself. She didn't want to talk about marriage, which was a promise to live together for the rest of our lives, but she was perfectly willing to tag along with me for the rest of my life which was almost the same thing . . . Or so I thought at the time.

Yeah, I was naive.


	7. Chapter 7 - A Song For Gleda

"Yes?" asked Malborn. He was a rather ordinary looking wood elf whom Delphine had fingered . . . excuse me, a turn of words Sofia had used regarding the spotting and identifying of spies in such a fashion to suggest a different slightly more risqué employment of the said digit was flitting through my mind just then. Allow me to rephrase that. He was the plant in the Thalmor Embassy who was willing to work for the Blades as a spy. There . . . Much better.

"Our mutual friend sent us," I said.

"Really? You two? She picked the two of you? I hope she knows what she's doing."

"I'm the best," suggested Sofia. "And I only work with the best."

"Are you the Dragonborn?" queried Malborn looking at Sofia. "I thought the Dragonborn was a man."

"He's the Dragonborn," said Sofia pointing to me. "I'm the girl who makes him possible."

Malborn looked at me rather curiously. I shrugged. I was not in a mood to explain Sofia. Even at this juncture, after all this time since I had found her asleep on that hay pile, I was having a hard time defining her to anyone.

"Alright," sighed Malborn. "Here's the deal. I can smuggle some equipment into the Embassy for you. Don't plan on bringing anything else in with you. The Thalmor take security very seriously. Give me what you can't live without, and I'll make sure to get it into the Embassy. The rest is up to you."

"Sofia is kind of big to stuff into your pocket," I mused. "So what else should I bring?"

"You're asking me? She promised that she was sending someone who knew what they were doing."

"I know what I'm doing," I sighed. "Which starts with finding out the lay of the land I'm about to have a fight on. I'm a mage, so I don't need weapons. Will some sort of Anti-magic shield surround me the moment I walk in there? I need to know so I can give you the necessary items to counter it. Okay?"

He seemed to pause. He clearly was at a loss and that annoyed me.

"If you actually want to get out alive, I'd bring what ever you need to move quietly, and kill quickly," he concluded.

"That's more than sufficient," I said. "Meet me here this evening and I'll have the items."

Sofia and I left the Winking Skeever Inn.

"Off to that wizard up in the Blue Palace . . . The vampire one," I mused.

"How do you know she's a vampire?" asked Sofia.

"The eyes," I replied. "Her eyes give her away. They are that glowing red. Remember those Vampires we fought off the other night?"

Sofia groaned. She remembered. We were all ready to bed down at the Four Shields Inn in Dragonsbridge when they had burst in and started eating everyone in the Inn. As Sofia and I had objections to being on the menu, we put ourselves off of it.

"Why are they tolerating her?" she asked.

"Not sure," I mused. "Vampires are supposed to be masters of deception. So I wonder why I know who she is and yet no one else seems to notice."

"I had not noticed her eyes glowing red," mused Sofia. "Must be a Dragonborn thing."

"I wonder," I half mused to myself.

"So what are you getting from her?" asked Sofia. "And are you pointing out her glowing eyes?"

"I'm getting an Invisibility and Muffle spell," I replied. "We need to be quiet and sneaky and that's the only way I think the two of us can do it. Otherwise we end up killing everyone in the embassy and that could produce a serious backlash."

"Such as?"

"The Thalmor declare war on the Empire," I replied.

"But the Empire has nothing to do with what we're doing," objected Sofia, more than appropriately.

"I don't think the Thalmor will care," I sighed. "They won't pay a bit of attention to the fact that I'm by oath a Stormcloak. They'll note I'm an Imperial. And since you asked, no, I'm not going to finger Sybille for a vampire before the court."

"I should hope not," replied Sofia. "In front of all those people? That would be very awkward. I would hope you would wait until we were in the bedroom of the inn."

"Before I fingered Sybille?"

"Before you fingered me."

"What have you done that would make me want to finger you? You're not a Vampire."

She sighed and then I realized what she had just actually said.

"Was that a request?"

"A Joke!" she insisted. Rather loudly as well.

Yes, she was back to the 'can't touch this' phase of our relationship.

"Anything else?" She continued.

"The Aromatic Shop for ingredients," I continued. "We'll need potions to replenish our magicka since I suspect we'll be casting invisibility and muffle a lot. But if this works, they will never know we were there."

"Ah, but that takes all the fun out of being sneaky, leaving them dead or broke before they know it."

"You sound like your whining, Sofi," I observed.

Sofia's response was silence for a bit. We reached the castle and I nodded to Falk Firebeard. He and I had a mutual understanding which had developed after I and Sofia had broken up a pack of Necromancers who had been trying to summon the Wolf Queen Potema. While I was negotiating with Sybille I noted that Sofia was trying, somewhat surreptitiously, to look at Sybille's eyes. Since Sybille wore a hood, that wasn't easy.

Our shopping and potion making done, we returned to The Winking Skeever and waited for Malborn. I got us a couple of chairs and pulled out our mutual drums and we began to practice. Ever since Kynesgrove, I had been working with Sofia to develop her musical talents. She was getting very good at the drums, and could play a few simple tunes on the flute. It was the only time she would get out of herself and forget, if only for a bit, how much she hated herself. But Sofia's eyes continued to wander. A fellow who looked somewhat like a Breton had walked into the inn. He was in one of those black robes which suggested magic of some sort. When I took another glance, he was just sitting at the bar, with a curious staff next to him that looked like a very stylized rose. He also had a very large jug as well. But he was not touching it. And he was looking at the two of us with a very odd stare.

Sofia lost her place and fell out of rhythm.

"Sofi?"

"Sorry Val."

We started again. Five minutes later, she was distracted again.

"Val? What do you think is in that jug?"

"Home brew I suspect," I replied. "Now lets try the four five four five beat again."

"I'm really thirsty."

"Wait until Malborn get's back."

"He's taking forever!"

"It really wouldn't alleviate his fears and insecurities if he came to pick up our stuff and you were swaying back and forth and threatening to give him big hugs."

"Oh Kaaay," she groaned.

Although Malborn showed up merely a half an hour later, such was Sofia's impatience that you would have thought he had taken days. The moment Malborn did show up, and I began the process of handing over four separate pouches of magic potions, paralysis poisons, and a pair of elven daggers, Sofia made a beeline for the Breton. By the time Malborn and I had worked out all the necessary arrangements, Sofia was having her mug being filled with the Breton's home brew. I saw Malborn out of the door of the inn, and then walked over to where the black robed Breton and Sofia were.

"His name is Sam Gwensomething," suggested Sofia. "And he has this challenge."

"A drinking contest," answered Sam. "A drinking contest for this staff here."

"Seriously guy," I began. "What do you gain if you win?" There was something just a little off with this guy.

"Well I haven't really thought it out that far," admitted Sam. "But I don't want this staff anymore and it's magical so I thought I would have a contest. The first one to beat me in a drinking contest gets the staff."

"Come on Val!" encouraged Sofia. "Party with me, please?"

That was it. She had pushed all the right buttons. She may have been in a constant state of denial that I was really in love with her, but she was not above manipulating it to her own advantage. And the moment she said those magic words 'with me' she knew I would do it. I was constantly trying to do things with her as a way of pulling us closer together. Silly little twit that I was, I remained firmly convinced that the more time we spent together, the more 'in love' she would fall and accordingly there would come a point where she would say the words and we would be together forever. I look back on those moments now days and still shake my head. But at the time, I was pretty much prepared to do just about anything that my common sense saw no reason to light warning beacons over. So we have a drinking contest with a guy who looks just a little off. We had some spare change for the inn that night. No need to worry too much about things. Delphine would not make her move until Malborn signaled that everything was in place at the Embassy so there were a few days to kill between now and then. I didn't even know if Delphine had secured an invitation for me and Sofia yet anyway. There was still time to get the outfits we would be wearing.

"First round," said Sam. And he filled my mug.

This was not your typical home brew. I mean I had never tasted anything like this in all my days of wandering from Black Marsh to High Rock, from Valenwood to Morrowind and Hammerfell and Cyrodiil in between. I thought I had tasted it all, but this stuff was just the right texture of sweet and bitter and flowed down the throat smooth and easy. It was a matter of seconds it seemed before my mug was empty, as was Sofia's, and Sam poured the three of us our second round.

That too went down smooth and easy. And already I was starting to feel the buzz.

"Dovahkiin!  
Dovahkiin!  
Everybody now sing!  
I forgot,  
All the words,  
So I'm making them up!

La da da da da la,  
La da da da da dah

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin,  
La da da da dee dah."

That was Sofia by the way, singing at the top of her lungs.

"Quit shouting!" suggested an irritated patron in the corner.

"Do I look Dragonborn or like one of those creepy guys up on the mountain?" retorted Sofia.

I smiled at her. She smiled back and once again my little heart was going pit a pat.

The third round began the bragging. Sam it seems had been to all sorts of interesting places and new all sorts of juicy gossip on people doing things I had no clue people were actually capable of doing. Famous people especially. Our drinking slowed down a little so by the time the fourth round was poured, a good hour had passed. But we were all feeling it, or at least I was. There was a fifth round and then perhaps a sixth and seventh? I was losing count. Sofia was leaning against me and giggling and began to suggest that she really really really liked me, like you know? A lot? And Sam was saying that he had reached his limit. If we could handle, the two of us, just one more round? The staff would be ours. Sofia's mug was there so fast it seemed like a blur but then again, my vision wasn't much clearer. I think my mug was there, I could see him filling it up. I was wondering just how much brew that jug was capable of holding. But we were downing our mugs, it was sliding down my throat so cool and clean and easy. And something told me I needed to stop because I was no longer tasting it. But there was Sofia giggling in my ear and Sam saying that we had won the staff, we were really fun to drink with, and he knew this place where the wine flowed like water and Sofia was saying "So what are we waiting for?"

Then things really got blurry. There were lights, voices, gentle tunes, flowers being tossed about, Sam suggesting I didn't look so good even though I felt great and then Sofia's voice, in a soft sultry tone, "So that song they sing about you? Is it true? Come on. Why don't you show me? Show me what really happens when a Dragonborn comes."

I woke up in absolute darkness. On something soft and giving. It was furs. Piled high in luxuriant fashion. There were a lot of them. There was a body next to me, smelling of mead and sweet wine. That had to be Sofia. Then I registered that she was naked. Yes, my fingers were touching bare skin everywhere I put them. But then again, so was I. I wasn't sure, but I was somewhat concerned at this point. And I put my left hand on a particular item on my physique to check things out. Yes, there was definitely sticky stuff there.

We had made love.

And I was NOT okay with that.

Now before you get all hyper and huffy about moral preaching and all that, you need to check yourself. I mean yeah, there was a bit of that. But I didn't feel that guilty because I had no memory of the affair and you can't be held entirely accountable for what you do when you don't know what you're doing. But I was angry for a very particular reason.

MY FIRST TIME! AND NOT JUST MY FIRST TIME, BUT MY FIRST TIME WITH THE ONE WOMAN I WANTED TO HAVE THE FIRST TIME WITH AND I CAN'T REMEMBER IT?

I mean really now. That bit so hard. I couldn't remember a thing. She had been in my arms. We had kissed. We had passionately embraced. And I had no clue what it had been like. Okay, so maybe we were not married and should have waited. Okay, yeah, there is that sort of point to why you make those promises. But if I'm going to be bad in the one way which really feels good? I would at least like to be able to remember it later. What if this turned out to be the only time I ever got to make love to Sofia?

I had been robbed!

Sofia made little happy sleepy humming noises beside me. I noticed we didn't have headaches. How much had we drunk? And no hangovers? That was rather odd.

There was a curious itch on my left hand, my third finger. I reached to scratch it and found there was a thin band on my finger. A ring.

What was that doing there?

I sat up and cast light. The little glowing bug hovered me bathing everything in a soft white glow. There was Sofia, looking utterly entrancing with her eyes just beginning to squint and her nose starting to wrinkle in the light as she began to get up. And there on my left hand's ring finger, was a thin band of gold. And on Sofia's left hand, a triple band of silver embellished with rubies, emeralds, and sapphires.

We were wearing wedding rings.

And there, on the floor, in a pile was a colorful wedding dress and a woven weave of flowers.

Now I know that at this point the guy is supposed to panic and freak out and scream and get all hyper and everything. But given what I had so wanted to happen, I couldn't help but grin. I turned. Sofia was looking at the beautiful ring on her finger with complete bafflement.

"Sofi?" I asked.

"Val?" she replied looking back at me. She noticed I wasn't wearing anything. But more to the point, she noticed I wasn't blushing or acting self-conscious. "Um, don't tell me we made love last night?"

"Remember all those times you suggested we get drunk and do something we would later regret?" I began. "Well you have to be careful what you wish for, because sometimes you just might get it."

"Oh damn," she sighed. And then she turned to find her clothes and discovered the wedding dress.

"This isn't funny, Val," she suggested.

"I wasn't making a joke," I said. Then I paused just a second before adding, "Mrs. Florian."

"Don't you call me that!" she snapped.

"It's the truth, girl," I said, somewhat irritated because comments like that actually hurt a little. "I don't know how we did it. Or where we did it. But we did it. And here's our nuptial chamber, looking Dwemer enough to be Markarth. Not that we could be there mind you."

"This isn't happening!" she stammered. "This isn't happening. This isn't happening!"

"Yes it is, Yes it is, Yes it is," I sighed. Yeah, her denials were hurting me a bit. But I was prepared to excuse them on the grounds that she had no more memory of the affair than I did. "But if it will make you feel better? We'll track down the Priest or Priestess of Mara who performed the ceremony. They can't be too far from here." I turned just as the dwemer metal door opened and a priestess stuck her head in.

"It's about time you two got up, you incoherent drunken blasphemers! Have you see the mess you made to the temple?" Then her face registered a particular type of disgust. "And get some clothes on!" The door slammed shut with a very loud booming clang.

The moment Sofia heard the word temple, she could no longer deny the situation. She burst into tears. For a second I just stood there while she wept with loud wracking sobs. My emotions began to churn.

"Do you hate me so much that the thought that you married me is enough to make you cry like a mother who just buried her only child?"

She replied by wailing even louder and fell on the bed shaking.

Part of me really was feeling self-centered so I wanted to make it up to her. So I reached over and pulled her to me and held her while she cried.

"Come on girl," I sighed. I was trying to find words to make her feel better. In all the time we had been together, she had never so much as even hinted at shedding a tear.

"You know how I act all tough and like I'm not scared?" She blubbered. "It's not true. I'm scared Val . . . Just . . . Just don't tell anyone okay?"

"What are you afraid of?" I asked. I was somewhat puzzled. "You've just woken up next to the guy you've been with since summer. He's Dragonborn. He's famous. He's told you he loves you. And your bound to him forever now."

"It WON'T BE forever," she wailed. "You'll leave me, I know it!"

"What?" I asked.

"You'll leave me!" she hotly accused me through the tears. "You'll be like all the rest! You'll leave me!"

"Sofi?" I asked, getting not a little irritated. "Skyrim is filled with faithful husbands. Where in the blazes did you get the idea that I would leave you. Haven't I said over and over again that I love you?"

"Words!" she cried. "Just words. It's lies. All of it!"

She stood up. "Like this wedding dress!" She nearly shouted. "LIES!" Her hand gathered a bolt of fire.

"Like Oblivion you will!" I shouted back and jumped to grab the dress.

"I hate that thing!" she screamed.

"You'll not destroy it!" I hissed back. "Some time, some day, you are going to wear this so I can at least have some memory of you being married to me in this. Got it!"

"Never," she said.

And that really hurt. I wanted to cry myself I was so torn to pieces. But then my eyes fell upon her left hand dispersing that ball of fire and I smiled.

"What are you smiling at?" she snapped.

I focused on her face so she would not see that I had noticed she was not taking off her wedding ring.

"Nothing," I replied. "Just something that reminded me that underneath it all, you're still refusing to admit that you really wanted this."

"You're crazy!" she groaned.

"Come on Sofi," I said rummaging through her backpack for her leather and linen outfit which she wore when we were in the field. "Let's get our clothes on and assess the damage we made with Sam. He should be around here somewhere. And there's that staff we need to pick up."

I looked up at her with my hand holding her outfit. She looked back at me. There she was, still naked, with tear streaks down her cheeks. Something about her suggested she was still pretty though. And I noted for the first time that I actually thought that after we had fought.

"Here," I said. I pulled out her 'granny' underthings; the undergarments which she wore that kept her dry and comfortable when we were out in the field. And like a father with a little girl, I helped her dress. Then I got dressed as she sat there, totally focused on the ring she was wearing.

"It's so pretty," she said to herself. I kept my mouth shut and pretended I had not heard.

We stepped out where the Priestess, named Senna, was waiting for us. How to describe the situation? The temple wasn't just a mess, it looked as if a seriously irresponsible party of several hundred with no concept of respect for other people's property had drunk themselves daft in it. Trash was everywhere. There were these beautiful golden statues of the goddess Dibella which towered over us. I could not recall any temple of Dibella in my wanderings, but it was clear that these statues had not escaped the disdain. It was no wonder we were called blasphemers. There was a crude bra hanging on one of them, deliberately placed as if the statue was supposed to wear it and someone had pulled it down a bit. And there was a tattoo painted on the small of the back of another one, which said "Tramp Stamp."

"I'm . . . So sorry," I began. "I really am. But I can't recall a thing about this party we had here?"

"So you don't remember fondling the statues?"

"Are you sure it was me?" I asked looking over at Sofia.

"Maybe it was someone else, yes, you were busy fondling her," said Senna gesturing to Sofia. "I kept asking you to get into Dibella's chamber but I suspect you were too drunk to know what you were doing." She sighed. "The temple has entertained martial parties before but yours gave me more than a little headache."

"I really am sorry," I said. "I simply don't know what happened. I was in Solitude when we started drinking with Sam." I paused to try to recollect.

"Sam Gwensomething," offered Sofia.

"Sam Guevenne," I said.

"And you don't recall about the goat either?" asked Senna.

"A goat?" I asked weakly. I did not like where this was going.

"I always said you were a pervert," suggested Sofia.

"I love you too dear," I replied. Sofia had not expected that comeback and she paused with her mouth a bit open and her hand raised to sort of cover it. But Senna the Priestess seemed to soften a bit. I turned to Senna. "Was Sam here?"

"Dibella teaches love and compassion," mused Senna. "But that does not mean I'm going to be a throw rug for you to walk over. This temple is a mess. And you had a lot to do with it."

I sighed. "Okay, tell you what. If Sam has flown the coop, we'll just have to track him down. We'll clean up. Besides, it was our wedding, and we don't remember a thing about it. I want to be able to reconstruct it as best we can so . . ." I started to pick things up.

We spent the next three days scrubbing down the statues, washing the floor, repairing the damage, in short making sure we left the temple looking as good, if not better, than what it had looked like before we had come in. Sofia was clearly back into the 'can't touch this' mode. There were no kisses goodnight or anything. I was rather grumpy as a result. She was determined to fight this marriage thing tooth and nail. At the end of the third day, the temple was finally cleaned up sufficiently. Sofia, having a hard time doing any cleaning without complaining, was made the errand girl so at least I didn't have to hear her grumble about the labor involved. She cooked and kept our 'chamber' cleaned since we had no place to sleep and I was determined to remain in the temple until it was fully cleaned up. Of course by that time, word had gotten out that I was the Dragonborn, and what's more the priestesses of the temple were beginning to conclude that well I might have gone a little overboard in my marriage celebration, I was doing more than enough to make up for it. I made damn sure each one of those statues of Dibella was glowing before I was done polishing them. So the last evening they had a dinner for me and Sofia. Sofia got drunk of course and sang several songs which were rather risqué but as this was the temple of Dibella, the priestesses mostly giggled.

"Okay," I said after dinner had pretty much ended and we were merely sitting around. "Tell me about Sam and the goat."

"Most of what you said was slurred," said Senna. "But there was the mention of Rorikstead in your ramblings. So I would look there first."

And so the next morning, first thing, we headed for Rorikstead. We walked together in silence for a while. Finally I couldn't stand it any more.

"So," I said with a sigh. "You are firmly convinced I'm going to leave you."

"It's what men do," she replied.

"And how am I going to prove to you that I won't?"

"You can't because you will."

"So your mind is made up, screw the facts," I sighed.

She turned to me.

"You think you're so loving and wonderful? You think you're so hot because you're Dragonborn? You're nothing but an arrogant Imperial who's merely being nice to me because I'm so pretty. The moment my face becomes ugly? The moment I have a baby? You're gone and I know it!"

"So," I mused looking at her. "That's how you got hurt last time wasn't it? You had a baby and he left you."

Sofia was quiet. Very quiet. She simply turned away and kept walking. I began to wonder where the child was. She had probably given it away for adoption. No doubt that was eating on her under the surface. But the more I thought about it, the more I wondered. Yes, getting pregnant by a guy who then up and leaves you will hurt, and yes, girls do get feelings of inadequacy over that. But was that really all there was to it? Was she so down on herself behind the scenes simply because the natural consequences of a little too much party for your own good had caught up to her? Of course it could be. If she had envisioned herself as this goddess and this guy had so used her she felt dirty and ugly afterwards, she might not have recovered psychologically from the blow. And if this had happened only a few months ago? She would still be working it through.

I was quiet then. It was a very quiet walk to Rorikstead. There was a brief interlude however. As the sun reached a certain point in the sky, Sofia began to cry again. I reached over and just put my arm around her. She leaned in and blubbered a bit as we walked down the road. It was a pretty view, the river was rushing past us and the hills and cliffs were towering over us. It was one of the prettier spots in the Reach.

"You know," I said. "If you think I was going to hate you because you got pregnant and had a baby before you met me, you're wrong. I still love you."

She only cried more. But unbeknownst to me at the time, I had said the right thing. We got to Rorikstead way to late to make inquiries about Sam and the goat, so we got our room and I lay down on my back, preparing as usual to fall asleep staring at the ceiling. Sofia however, removed the entirety of her clothing before she got into bed and shortly thereafter, we were making love. I'll never know what the first time was like, but the second time was close enough. And it was wonderful. The woman I wanted was mine. The woman I had been dreaming of for weeks, was finally making them come true. Afterwards I looked into her face for a bit, caressing it.

"Do you really think I can't love you?" I asked in a whisper. "Even now?"

"I think you think you love me," she replied quietly. "And I figure I might as well enjoy it while I can. I mean sooner or later I'm going to be old anyway. Most women die alone. So will I. But for now? I have a man who's a great actor. If I didn't know better I really would believe you loved me so much. And besides, you're Dragonborn and friends of Jarls. I could do worse."

Not exactly romantic I'll freely admit, but as I said before, I was taking what I could get.

We got up the next morning and I made a few quiet inquiries and was directed to Ennis' Farm. If I had any doubt as to the validity of what I had been told, it was swiftly dashed the moment Ennis spotted us.

"You two! You have a lot of nerve showing yourselves in this town again. What have you got to say for yourselves?"

"It's him you want to talk to," suggested Sofia pointing to me.

"Like you were not the distraction?" snapped Ennis, facing Sofia. "Standing on the top of my fence naked shouting those crude things about the Greybeards?"

I'm sorry to say I was grinning at this point. I made like I was coughing so I could cover my mouth to hide it.

Sofia sighed to herself.

"I'm really sorry," I said to Ennis. "I was so drunk I have no memory of the entire event. I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Is that so?" He shouted. "Does the name Gleda ring a bell? The star beauty of my farm? Kidnapped by a drunk lout with his crude slutty wife and sold to a giant? You'd better remember her right fast, before I call the guards and have you two hauled away."

"That sounds really bad," I sighed.

"You're damned right it does. I'll never breed another prize-winning goat like Gleda! And don't you think of coming back to Rorikstead until you get her back from that Giant."

I sighed. "Can you elaborate a bit more on Gleda? Like I said, I have no memory of what Sofi and I did."

"You really don't remember stealing a goat and selling her to a Giant? Are you thick? Go get her. At least she's bound to follow you back. You smell like the fermented feed she likes."

"Okay I will," I said. "Did I mention anything about Sam and a staff?"

"You mentioned something like that. When you were running off with my goat! Tell you what - you bring back my goat and maybe I'll give a damn about your staff."

"Fair enough," I said. And we set off looking for Gleda the Goat.

"This has certainly turned out to be a rather miserable day," suggested Sofia.

"It could be worse," I replied.

"And how could it be worse?"

"I could be doing this alone," I replied. "Without you." I was sure this little bit of flattery would soften her up.

"I feel so privileged to be helping you fix your mess," groaned Sofia.

"Party with me please, Val?" I began. "And who was it that was naked on top of the fence?"

"Are you suggesting this is my fault?" her voice was raising in pitch and volume.

"Not entirely," I replied. "I did agree to party with you. And it was Sam who proposed the drinking. If anyone is to blame for the start of this trouble, it's him. And he's the one who's run off and left us with the mess."

"Oh yeah," observed Sofia. "He's getting all his teeth kicked out."

She was more than happy to put all the blame on Sam. And I'll confess I wasn't entirely happy with him either. He had, after all, made himself scarce after the party had ended. All I had was a note from him which suggested that the staff was broken and needed items to fix. I figured I could deal with that after I got the staff. His note left no clue as to where he had gone. And I'll be frank. At this point, the staff was not important. Neither was finding him. I would have been happy to have left him be and made a note to myself about the dangers of trying out new home brews by fellows you strike you as just a little off. But what was important was the fact that I was now married to Sofia, I had no memory of the event, and damn it, I was going to reconstruct that if it was the last thing I did. I hoped that if I did put it all together, something would be triggered so I might remember something of what I would have thought would have been one of the most important days of my life. Not to mention that they say you never forget your first time. Well I had.

Now you would have thought that finding a Giant in the tundra of Skyrim would have been easy. The problem is that Skyrim is not a small place. We were out there for two days. Sofia hated camping and so there was no love making for me in spite of my efforts. Of course I really had no clue what I needed to do to get her in the mood. I didn't even know there were things I could do to get her in the mood. You know? I just sort of thought these things sort of just happened. But as it was, on the morning of the third day, I heard the loud footfalls of a giant and sure enough, there he was, with Gleda the goat trotting along at his feet. Of course I didn't know for certain it was Gleda. I mean, all goats look alike to me. But I figured that since I had supposedly sold it to the Giant I could buy it back. I don't know how I sold it, but I presumed this giant was more communicative than the average giant. So I began to walk up and he raised his club in the air and shook it at me.

"Nope," observed Sofia. "That's not gonna work."

"Can you distract him while I dash in and lure the goat away?" I asked Sofia.

"Val? Can't we just kill him from here?"

"We sold him that goat in good faith. I can't just up and kill him."

"I can."

"Sofi? Don't you ever feel a little guilty about all the killing we do?"

"Well yeah, but then I feel empowered. Who'd have thought feelings were so complex?"

I sighed and thought for a moment. Sofia just stood there and looked at me. I looked back at her and once again lost myself in that pretty face with the big blue eyes framed in that black luxuriant hair. Why did she have to be so damned unapproachable and paradoxical? Then I had an idea.

"You have inspired me," I said.

"About time," she replied.

You know? Today as I tell this to you, I look back on this and laugh. But I saw no humor in it at the time.

"Conjure Familiar, you know it?" I queried struggling to keep my voice from rising in volume.

"Yes?"

"We cast simultaneously and then make a dash for the goat. Then as he pursues, we keep sending familiars after him to keep him occupied until he either loses us or gives up."

"He's barely going to notice them. They won't hurt him much."

"That's the point. I sold him that goat in good faith. I don't know how I did it. And it's clear he's not going to let us approach him now. So rather than kill him, I'm only going to steal from him. So the familiars keep him occupied until we put enough distance between us and him that he loses us. Got it?"

"I got it," she sighed. "But before we do that?"

"Yes?"

"My undergarments are really starting to chaff. I don't suppose you would . . . No, that would be pretty awkward for the both of us."

"Sofi?"

"Yes Val?"

"Why do I love you?"

"I keep telling you, you don't."

"Okay, but as soon as we take care of this. We'll find a nice hot spring and we can soak in it for a while and give your undergarments a good long hot bath. That should clean everything up."

"Will there be mead?"

"I'm sure I can find something in one of my pack's secret compartments."

"Then it's a date."

The tactic worked by the way. Conjure Familiar sends a ghost wolf towards your designated target, this being the giant with Gleda the goat. Once the giant was fully absorbed with dealing with the ghost wolves, I was able to get close enough to Gleda that she started trotting along behind me. It's not that the Giant didn't pursue, but the moment either Sofia's or my familiar was dispelled, we conjured another one. There were magic potions drunk quite copiously but I always made sure I had a bunch of those and the bottle clinking disguised the location of the mead. Sofia never had the patience to go entirely though my pack to find where the two or three bottles of drink I had stashed away there. But when there was mead at the end of the day, she would work more enthusiastically.

Ennis was thrilled that Gleda was back, safe and sound. He had firmly expected her to be eaten by this time. So for starters he showed me the note I had written to him explaining what I was doing and why I was doing it. The first half was entirely gibberish that I could make no heads or tails of. And the second part was totally smeared by what looked like a very generous spilling of mead. There was only one bit of sentence which made any sense, and that was "replaying Ysolda in Whiterun".

"Well off to Whiterun," I mused.

"After the hot springs," added Sofia.

I nodded. I had a pretty good idea where one would be.

Now there are hot springs and then there are springs which are warm. I can't tell you why there is a difference but several of the springs which feed the rivers of Skyrim bubble up not boiling hot, or even steaming hot, but warm enough to feel like bathwater and these can be very comfortable to soak in, especially on a cool Skyrim night when the northern lights are out and flickering and you have your fur bedrolls close enough that it will be only a little chilly as you work your way into them. Or in the case of Sofia, working her way into mine right after a very romantic interlude in the spring itself of several hours.

For a few moments we just snuggled and then Sofia started to talk again.

"You know it's really strange," she began.

"What's strange?" I asked.

"When we did it in the springs," she said. "It felt good . . . again. In fact, it really got intense there at the end and I had to bite down hard to keep from groaning and making you think you were hurting me."

"It felt good again?"

"It never felt good before. It was just something you had to do if you wanted to be able to tag along with the guy. And sometimes it was really uncomfortable? But you said such nice things to me on the road to Rorikstead that I thought I could . . . you know? . . . show my appreciation. Because guys like it when the girl does that. And it felt good. So in the springs I wanted to see if that would happen again . . . and it felt even better. So what's your secret? Why do I actually like doing it with you and not with my old boyfriend? Why am I, right now instead of feeling just nothing or maybe a little dirty, feeling relaxed and . . . safe?"

"Sofi? I have no clue," I began. "I mean my friends who were married? We'd get together in the taverns of the Imperial City and my friends who had wives would get into these brag fests on how much their wives screamed when they were making love. I felt so utterly out of the loop. I mean these guys were so experienced, I couldn't even fake it in front of them. So all you're telling me is that you're my wife."

I began to chuckle. I wasn't out of the loop any more. I could say that my wife had to bite down to keep from screaming too loudly and wake the neighbors.

"I'm really having a hard time believing that the reason why I like doing it with you is because we're married. My mother would bitch so much about the demands my dad put on her." Sofia paused. "I don't remember our first time either. So Rorikstead was like the first time with you for me. It was so strange. It was like we had already done it a hundred times. There was nothing clumsy about you. And after this last time? I really want to fall asleep next to you. I know you're going to be like all the rest. I know that this will end, when I've really gotten used to it, but right now? I don't care. I just want to feel your heart beating under my hand. I want to feel your arm around my shoulder. I want to pretend for a little that I'll always have a guy like you holding me, when I feel a little scared."

"I have this silly little dream, Sofi," I said. As you probably guessed, I wasn't directly addressing what she had said. I was instead, trying to refute it. "You've noticed that I don't have so many bottles in my secret stash as of late."

"Yeah, and it's cheaper stuff too. I'm not surprised. I figure that you figure you've got me so you don't have to try so hard."

"No Sofi," I said. "I'm putting a bit back after each job we do."

"Wouldn't it be good if we could make money without helping other people?"

"I'm not going to talk about that Sofi. I don't see any problem with helping other people and getting paid for it. Like I said. I've been giving a few hundred Septims to Lydia every few weeks or so to invest in Whiterun."

"Val? Why are you trusting that bitch with our money?"

"She's not a bitch, she's a house carl, she's sworn to my service, and she's doing a very good job making that money grow. We're worth close to ten thousand in Whiterun now. And she's happy to do it because she has Breezehome all to herself and it's right next to Adrianne's forge and the two have become good friends. But we're getting a cut out of all the business that happens in Whiterun now and you know what I'm going to do when we get to fifty thousand?"

"Have a party so big the entire town gets trashed?"

"You would suggest that . . ." I sighed.

"A girl can dream can't she?"

"Falk and I have been getting to know each other," I continued. "Especially since I've proven I can be discrete vis a vis Sybille. Apparently Falk knows her secret as well as does Jarl Elisif. So it's been hinted that Jarl Elisif is going to test me out shortly, and if I pass, permission will be granted to buy property in Solitude. And there's this really beautiful house, right next to the Bard's college that has no owner at present. I want to buy it, and carry you over that thresh hold and have you for mine for the rest of our lives. You will be able to have your mead out on the porch overlooking the Sea of Ghosts, big roaring fireplaces for the cold winter nights, and there will be bedrooms for all the kids we'll have, and maybe I'll even get to be made a thane of Haafingar as well and I'll make sure we have a fat and dumpy and unshaven house carl named Brug to babysit the kids so you won't have to be jealous of butch women who clank when they walk and smell of oiled steel. How does that sound?"

Sofia giggled. "You tell the sweetest lies," she whispered. "I have a question."

"What?"

"Will the third time be even more intense?"

"Beware, beware," I growled. "The Dragonborn comes."

"And I have just the spot for him to do it in," she replied.


	8. Chapter 8 - A Song For Sam

"Children creep me out. Is it just me or do they all look the same?" asked Sofia.

We were walking down the street past Breezehome heading for the market plaza.

"Well there are clear differences between the girls and the boys," I suggested.

"Boys! Girls! Dogs! Elders! There nobody I won't fight!" came the boast from a young girl to our right.

"If that were my daughter," sighed Sofia. "I would be giving her such a beating."

I walked up to Ysolda who was standing by the well in the plaza.

"So," She began. "You're finally back. Look I've been patient, but you still owe me."

I looked over to Sofia and nodded. We were getting used to this now.

"Yeah we wanted to talk to you about that," I began.

"We were both so utterly drunk we really don't remember what we said or did," Sofia continued. "So we've been getting that a lot."

"But tell us what we did and we'll honor it," I finished.

"Ah, what's wrong?" Ysolda asked. "Did the engagement fall through? Look, how about we call it even, so long as you bring back the wedding ring?"

Sofia's right hand instinctively covered her left hand. Ysolda did not seem to notice as she was looking at me. This struck me as rather odd. Didn't Ysolda know that it was Sofia I was married to?

"That's really a shame," she continued. "I was so looking forward to the wedding. You said you would have all the most interesting guests."

"Do you know what I did with it?" I asked. Now I knew exactly what I had done with it. It was there on Sofi's left ring finger. But what I was trying to do was see what Ysolda would say. Remember, I did not remember any of this and so was trying to reconstruct the affair as best I could so that I would hopefully have something triggered in my memory. Plus, she had already mentioned that she had been invited and we were already married which would have been taken as a snub by Ysolda. I did not wish to break that bit of news to her yet.

"You went right out to give it to your fiancé," answered Ysolda. "Don't you even remember where you left her? After you told me that sweet story of how you were going to have the ceremony in Witchmist Grove? I can see why she left you."

"So what was the story of his fiancé?" asked Sofia. I nearly did a double take on that. But then it dawned on me. She was curious as to what I was saying to other people about her. And Ysolda obviously did not know that Sofia had been the fiancé. Now how had I managed to forget to tell Ysolda that? No doubt the same way I had managed to forget the proposal, the engagement ring, the wedding, the reception, and the wedding night I suspect.

"You don't know?" Ysolda was clearly surprised by all this. "He didn't tell you?"

Sofia sadly shook her.

"My brother is so irresponsible," she sighed. "His own dad doesn't know yet and I only found out a week ago."

You know, when you've taught them something, you can't help but be proud. Just the same, when you're the brunt? What can I say? This is Sofi we're talking about. Of course she had made a very major error. She had already admitted she was drunk which suggested she was part of the wedding party. But Ysolda did not catch the contradiction.

"How could you forget?" Ysolda said to me. "It was the sweetest story I'd ever heard."

"I'm a heel," I sighed. "I know it."

"Damn straight," added Sofia crossing her arms and looking at me with a huff. She managed to do that while keeping the ring clearly hidden too. I had to be impressed at her slight of hand skills. Just the same I swore that girl was going to pay after this.

"You proposed under the full moons, under the biggest tree in Witchmist Grove, surrounded by fireflies. It was straight out of a story book." continued Ysolda.

"That sounds so romantic," sighed Sofia giving me a very loving and soft gaze. For a brief second I realized that something in her had been touched. "How could you forget something like that you STUPID JERK!"

I hung my head . . . But inside I was making all sorts of promises to myself as to what I was going to do with that woman once no one was looking. And I'm not talking about those sorts of things so get your mind out of the gutter and into the boxing ring.

"Well I'll tell you what," I said. "Let me pay for it now. And if I can recover it, I'll bring it back and you can refund me 95% okay?"

"That would be more than fair," agreed Ysolda.

We left to secure pen and paper and write out instructions to Lydia to pay Ysolda 2,000 septims for the ring which had been the price. Then Sofia and I headed for the gate to start on the road to Witchmist Grove.

"Um can we go into Breezehome for a second?" asked Sofia. "I have an itch in a really inappropriate place. I would scratch it but I'm sure you don't want to the citizens of Whiterun see me itching my uh . . . never mind."

"Right," I said and we walked into Breezehome. Sofia made for the bedroom upstairs and I chatted with Lydia for a moment or two and told her to expect the letter from Ysolda which had been written by me. Sofia came down a second later and we bid farewell and headed out.

"Off to Witchmist Grove," I mused. "You know where that is Sofi?"

"Yeah Val, it's south of Kynesgrove in the thermal springs."

"Is it pretty?"

"It is," she said to herself. "It's the very sort of place where you would take me if you were planning on proposing and I was drunk enough to say yes."

"So if I were to take you there now, get down on my knees, once again ask you, and put that ring once again on your finger you would say no?"

"No . . . I mean yes . . . I mean . . . DAMN IT, VAL! JUST BE HAPPY I'M PRETENDING FOR A BIT OKAY?"

"Okay girl," I said. "I think I've had my emotions churned enough for a pound of butter today."

We walked on, turning left past the Honningbrew Meadery. Turning left again after we crossed the bridge. We walked a few hundred yards and were set upon by a pack of wolves, but it had been weeks since a pack could threaten us. I had cast so much magic it was getting pretty old hat. They barely had time to feel the pain before they were all dead.

"Why is it that they are always hanging out in that spot?" I mused out loud.

"Have you ever thought that perhaps we're nothing but playthings in some game?" asked Sofia.

"Sofi? That is so bizarre, where do you get ideas like that."

"It makes you wonder," she mused to herself. It was clear she really wasn't paying attention to what I was saying.

We walked on for a bit, turning more east. The land opened up and the river fell away into the great canyon which marked this part of the road. There was a mist rising up over the falls by the watch towers which were notorious for the number of brigand gangs which would congregate there. I swore every third or fourth time we walked by those towers there was a new thief trying to extract a toll from us. In spite of this, it was a pretty view. Then I saw a bunch of blue mountain flowers in full bloom. I told Sofi to stop and I collected a bunch of them and then proceeded to weave a wreath with them and put them on her head. I had this dream that she would giggle and get all coy and cute. But this was Sofi and so her response was rather predictable. She tried to look at the wreath once it was on her by looking up. Then she sighed.

"It looks cute," I insisted.

"Cute is a step below beautiful Val," she argued.

"Not necessarily," I replied. "Cute can be really like 'your turning me on right now' cute."

"That's hot, Val. Not cute. Cute is those frilly princesses you find on the theater stages in Cyrodiil? The sort I want to push into those thick goopy horse hooves churned mud puddles."

I decided to change the subject as we continued walking. Sofi however, did not remove the wreath of flowers.

"I've been thinking of a song, I've got the first two verses written, I want you to listen and tell me what you think okay?"

"Sure," she replied.

I began to sing . . .

"Me and Sofi wandering round,  
Found ourselves in Whiterun town,  
A grey old dog without a fuss,  
Up and followed both of us.

The Battleborns they scream and cuss,  
Call us Stormcloaks and a wuss,  
Sofi smiled and was a tease,  
Then she kicked them 'tween the knees.

_Oh, every time we go to town,_  
_The boys keep kicking our dog around,_  
_Makes no difference if he is a hound,_  
_You gotta quit kicking our dog around._

The old grey dog he had no fear,  
And so he bit them in the rear,  
So me and Sofi laughed and stuff,  
And told them that they weren't so tough.

The Battleborns got on a box,  
And then they started throwing rocks,  
They tied a can to the old dog's tail,  
And chased him by the Town Guard jail.

_Oh, every time we go to town,_  
_The boys keep kicking our dog around,_  
_Makes no difference if he is a hound,_  
_You gotta quit kicking our dog around."_

"What do you think so far?" I asked.

"I have this image of a bunch of Argonians sitting by their huts in the Black Marsh chewing on chicken bones," suggested Sofia.

"That hokey?"

"Yeah, don't let that one see the light of day, Val." She gave me one of those 'yeah I'm going to fun you a bit smiles'. "I'm remembering a song I heard once."

"Oh?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think her name was Malukah or something," continued Sofi. "I never forgot it. It was you know, compelling?"

"Let's hear it," I said.

And Sofi began to sing in that rich vibrant alto voice of hers.

"Hope can drown lost in thunderous sound,  
Fear can claim what little faith remains,

But I carry strength from souls now gone,  
They won't let me give in...

I will never surrender  
We'll free the land and sky  
Crush my heart into embers  
And I will reignite...  
I will reignite

Death will take those who fight alone,  
But united we can break a fate once set in stone,

Just hold the line until the end,  
'Cause we will give them hell...

I will never surrender  
We'll free the land and sky  
Crush my heart into embers  
And I will reignite...  
I will reignite."

"So? What images are going through your head?" she asked. Her head was tilted a little in curiosity.

"I have this crazy image of all these gigantic bugs descending from the sky and destroying cities," I said.

"Val? That is so strange."

"Yeah," I said. "Like anyone would write a story about that."

"Incoming Frostbite Spider Spit," she said.

Actually what she said was "If spit" which was our code for that since you seldom if ever see these creatures closing in for the kill and often you spy the spit coming in after the spider has spat it at you. You don't have much time to react. I ducked and began to backpedal while she shifted in front. We were busy for the next three minutes dealing with a very large spider. Once that thing was despatched I mused for a bit on if a Fear spell would work on it or if it was simply too stupid to understand fear. My musings were halted once Sofi pointed out that I didn't know the spell.

"Right," I sighed.

"I like keeping you alive. It gives me purpose," she suggested.

It was evening by the time we got to the grove. Thanks to the thermal springs, the area was foggy and that curious wet warm which you get in a bathroom when the tub is filled with steaming water. Of course Autumn was making it's presence known as well and there were blasts of cool air which came down intermittently. We walked cautiously until we found a hut. And then out of the hut came a hag raven. We were both alert, but the creature cackled and smiled and said, "So the newlyweds are back?"

"Moire?" I asked. That name had popped into my head.

"Yes yes," She wheezed. "Oooo let me look at the pretty pretty blushing bride." And she waddled over to Sofi. "Esmerelda with the black feathers has the bouquet you threw. She's looking for a husband, the shameless hussy." And the craziest thing was going through my head. . . . Alcohol and food for the party? 2,500 Septims, Cleaning bills after the wedding party? 1,250 Septimes, Wedding Dress? 150 Septims, Wedding rings? 2,150 Septims. The expression on Sofi's face when she discovers who her bride's maids were? Priceless.

I let the hag raven talk. Understand, hag ravens were once upon a time women. And for that reason, some of the humanity remains. So by the occasional aside and question, Moire wadded over to the spot where we had had the ceremony. No memory was triggered, but it was a very pretty vista and Sofi in particular had a set of emotions on her face which suggested both regret and embarrassment. On a very real level, she wanted to remember this as much as I did. Or so I hoped. It even reached a point where Esmerelda showed up, and between the two hag ravens trying to upstage each other, we ended up at the exact spot where we had made our vows standing in the exact postures and I looked into Sofi's eyes and said, "I'd do it again you know."

But what was also important was that the Hag Ravens knew where Sam was. And so we were able to bid our farewells and set off back west and north where we hoped we would catch Sam and get him to explain himself.

"Why did you torture me like that?" asked Sofia when we were safely out of the Hag Raven's audio capabilities.

"Sofi?" I said. "Underneath that determination to not believe that I plan on spending the rest of my life with you, buried under that firm conviction that I'm just like your last boyfriend, deep beneath that utter conviction that sooner or later I'm going to find out your deep dark secrets and hate you forever, is a little girl desperately wanting to live happily ever after. That's why . . . you think . . . I torture you."

She was quiet for a bit. Then we reached the river and she burst into tears.

"Hey," I said. "It's okay."

"Why can't it be forever," she whimpered. "Why does it have to end?"

"I'm here for you now," I said. There was no point in insisting otherwise. She still would not believe me.

We crossed the river, but by then it was dark. Pitching our tent by the river underneath a cliff face which hid us from the road, we crawled into our furs and fell asleep. Somewhere in the middle of the night, Sofi, insisting she was just cold, crawled into my fur and snuggled up. We fell back asleep and when I woke up, she was still there next to me, her long black hair over most of her face. I gently brushed it back and looked at that peace filled face asleep before me. I let out a very discouraged sigh. I lay back.

"Talos?" I said quietly. I didn't want Sofi to hear me and she was right there almost on top of me. "I'm getting really tired of this fight. I know I'm dragon born and all, but why did you let Dibella send this one? Isn't Alduin and his little 'raise the dragons from the dead' scheme enough for my plate?"

If you think Talos was going to come down and chat with me about my martial problems, I'm afraid I must disappoint you. The gods prefer speaking through their priests and priestesses. But sometimes, they send their answer in ways you don't anticipate. I lay there in silence for a moment or two then Sofi made a little happy hmmm sound and began to kiss my ear. Forty five minutes later we were still in my furs but we had made love and I was ready to take on the day. There's this fantasy that some girls have that if they just sleep with the guy, he'll up and do great things. I don't know about the great things part, but Sofi definitely had a way of making me get up and face the craziness which was about to be unleashed.

The tower Sam was supposed to be in was packed full of rabid kill them all mages and so it was one duel arcane after another before we finally got to a central part and this portal opened up. Sofi looked at me and I looked back at her.

"This has been a very awkward adventure," she observed. "I'm thinking we really got taken this time."

I nodded. "We might as well jump in and see what new horrible fates await us," I concluded.

"What could be worse than waking up and finding you were married?" she asked.

"Through that portal are the ten children we have conceived and given birth to," I said. "And they all can't wait to see their mommy and daddy come back."

It was supposed to be a joke, but I thought Sofi was going to cry again, and then there was a spasm of rage which almost unnerved me. But it passed swiftly. Holding her hand, we passed into the portal and found ourselves in a gentle evening grove. The foot path was lit with candle lanterns and there was soft sweet music playing all around us. Lightning bugs flickered and there was the sound of singing and laughter in the distance.

"Val?" began Sofi. "When we see the bandits gathering around the camp fire? I will admit I get a little scared. When we walk into the crypt and see those drauger laying upon those pallets start to get up? I will admit I get a little scared. When we see those coffins in a row and those vampires getting out of them? I will admit I get a little scared. And when I see those Dwemer centurions steam up? I will admit I get a little scared. But this terrifies me."

I had to admit, given all the crazy that had happened so far since I had crossed the border into Skyrim three months ago, this was highly unnerving. We followed the path and found ourselves at a picnic area where a collection of happy faced folk were eating and drinking. Sam was standing under the lamppost next to them content. He looked up at us and smiled. I approached him.

"You're here!" he said. "I was beginning to think you might not make it."

"It's been quite the trip," I said. "Where are we?"

"I thought you might not remember your first trip here. You had a big night. I think you've definitely earned the staff."

"So why did you dash off and leave us?" I asked.

"Oh? Well to tell the truth," began Sam. And then he transformed into a large and horned daedra. "I really just needed some reason to encourage you to go into the world and spread merriment."

Sofi's exclamation began with with an 'Oh my,' then expressed a rather crude description of our love making, and ended it with an appeal to Akatosh.

"And your great great great grandmother really liked the idea," finished the daedra. Of course the mention of my ancestor confirmed I was looking at Sanguine.

"And you did just that!" continued Sanguine. "I haven't been so entertained in at least 100 years."

"So this was just a prank?" I asked.

"Just a prank? Just a Prank? The Daedric Lord of Debauchery does not deal in mere 'pranks'. This may have begun as a minor amusement, but it wasn't long before I realized you'd make a more interesting bearer of my not-quite-holy staff."

"So why did you choose us?" asked Sofi who was beginning to find her voice.

"Well as I said," continued Sanguine. "Your husband's ancestor thought it would be fun. And you're going places and well, if your old uncle Sanguine could help you out why not? But I'll be frank, I don't always think these things through very well. But no point in keeping you locked up with the staff."

And we were back in the Winking Skeever Inn in Solitude and Sofia was holding the stylized rose staff which we had seen with Sanguine when he had first walked into the inn.

"Val?"

"Yes, Sofi?"

"The next time I suggest we spend our reward money in a way that will even make Sanguine, the Daedric prince of debauchery proud, promise me you will kick my backside hard?"


	9. Chapter 9 - A Song For Elenwen

"You never did tell me about your parents. You are Dragonborn. Does that mean you had ancestors who were dragons? That would be really disturbing if you did." It was Fredas, the 24th of Frostfall. Sofi was chatting with me as we were walking down the hill from Solitude towards Katla's Farm where we had been signaled that Delphine was waiting for us.

"You do recall Sanguine making reference to my great-great-grandmother?"

"Was it two or three greats?"

"I don't know, I don't count that high," I sighed. "But she's the originator of the clan. It was her decision to sleep with Martin Septim which made me the man I am today."

"Oh that's right," mused Sofia. She seemed to come to a decision. "I think maybe it wouldn't be so disturbing if you had real live dragons in your ancestry after all. Sanguine is crazy enough. And it was quite a few generations ago. But it makes me wonder. Kajiit look like humans, but they also look like Sabre Cats. You don't suppose a Human and a Sabre Cat . . . NOPE! I'm not going there."

"Good idea," I replied looking over at her. The sun was glistening off her hair and there was a shimmer in it. She was, as usual, looking beautiful. "I would tell you that you are looking beautiful," I continued. "But you already know that."

"I do," she replied. "But a little reminder doesn't hurt does it?"

Delphine was waiting for us by the windmill at the farm. As I walked up to her she inquired about the equipment we had given to Malborn. Then she asked why we had vanished for all those days.

"You really don't want to ask," I sighed. "We'd be late for this party once we had explained it."

"Then I need to hand over your invitation," she said giving me a very formal calligraphic letter which contained the invitation."

"There's only one?" I asked. "I was counting on Sofi coming along."

"The invitations are for individuals," continued Delphine. "I had a hard enough time for one."

"But she's my wife!" I pressed the matter. I was not okay with this. While I was fairly certain I could get through the embassy alone, I really didn't want to.

"Wife?" asked Delphine looking baffled. "Last time I checked, you were just partners with a rather rocky relationship.

"It was rather unplanned," began Sofi. "Like when you've just finished your fourth bottle of mead and you have to go really bad and there's this line at the privy and you're hopping up and down?"

"That is a really strange way to describe a spontaneous marriage," observed Delphine.

"I prefer to think of it as innovative," answered Sofi.

Delphine looked at me. "It took me forever to swing this," she said.

"I'm going to take a chance that Elenwen is the sort who regards wives as part of the invitation, and besides, Malborn smuggled in her gear as well," I concluded.

"Val?" began Delphine. "I don't think we can afford this risk."

"You can't afford to not take it," I replied back. "I can't explain it anyway else, but without her, I simply can not function on a normal level. There are too many things I depend on in the adventuring field which she covers for me."

Delphine paused.

"And I stole a really nice . . . I mean picked out a really nice dress too," argued Sofi.

Delphine, being a blade, picked up the slip on Sofi's part.

"I was wondering how you were able to afford that outfit," she asked. "You look nice in it."

And she did. It was a deep green robe with a fur collar which wrapped around and draped down the front. Leather tooling added embellishments at the wrists and waist.

"So I have to go," continued Sofi. "Val needs me, I dressed nicely, and I don't want to pay that bounty for nothing."

"So how is it that Sofia is dressed for the occasion and you are not?" continued Delphine.

"You know how it is with men," explained Sofi. She crossed her arms and gave me one of those looks which I've seen a million wives give to their husbands in my life since. "He can't be bothered."

"What's wrong with my outfit?" I asked rather loudly.

"There is mud splattered all over the hems of your mage robes, your shoes are scruffy, you forgot to shave, and I'm sure you didn't clean out your ears like I told you," began Sofi.

"Well I didn't exactly have much time with you hogging up the washbasin," I shot back.

"Which was why I told you to wash your ears out last night," she retorted.

"Damn, you were so drunk last night I thought you had forgotten that," I grumbled.

"Even if I had, I noticed it this morning again," she finished. "You were snoring so loudly it woke me up and I had a very nice and up close view of your ear wax issues. _And_ I had a headache. So I had plenty to think about it while I was looking it over."

"Well you're going to have to look the part, Valentine," sighed Delphine. "And part of that is not looking like you have been in a mud wrestling match with the thanes of the nine holds. Which is why I got these items." And she pulled out a very nice set of shoes and formal robes and pants.

It took me another twenty minutes to shave, clean out my ears, and put my new clothes on.

"You should pass for a guest," finished Delphine. "At least until you open your mouth."

Delphine put the rest of my stuff into a chest in a wagon while I and Sofi got into a second wagon. Sofi grabbed my arm and with a 'gee up' to the horse as I snapped the reins, we started off. It had been a while since I had driven a carriage, but the old tricks came back to me as the horse trotted along down the road. The nice thing about horses is that they figure out what they're supposed to do and they do it. You don't have to be constantly paying attention to the direction the horse is going. So I was able to sit back and relax. The chair was cushioned, and so there was some comfort.

"Well," I sighed. "It won't be our wedding party, of which we don't remember, but it will be a very nice and formal party so we can sort of pretend."

"Depends on the quality of the mead," observed Sofi. "If the mead is good enough to merit forgetting what I did at the party, then . . ."

"Sofi?"

"Val? I know my limits. I can have three . . . Or four . . . Maybe up to five . . . bottles."

"Glass," I said. "A glass."

"Val! This is a very fancy party we are going to and if I'm not allowed to get drunk and lose my clothes I . . ."

"Sofi?"

"Damn it, I said that last part out loud didn't I?"

"The horse is blushing," I sighed.

There was silence for a bit as the horses hooves clopped on the cobblestones. It was going to be a few hours before we got to the Embassy and there would be a steady rise in elevation. And as this was Skyrim, there would be snow once we moved into specific areas. There was no getting around it. Skyrim was unnaturally cold in spots and the Thalmor Embassy was in one of those frozen areas. But for now, the sun was out, the trees were showing their colors for the fall, and there was the warmth from the sun's rays.

"So Sofi," I began. "Tell me about your home."

"A cave," she replied.

"Your parents?"

"Crazy," she said. "Funny as in weird, not ha ha. So I lived in cave until I joined the College of Winterhold, then when they kicked me out after that little innovation I introduced to magic, I moved back into caves. How about you?"

Her matter of fact tone about the caves had put all sorts of rich man's guilt on me.

"I grew up in a town house in the Imperial City," I said. "Temple district in fact. My dad is Lord Julian Maximus. My half-brother is Aurelian, and my mother's name is Felicia. I also have two sisters, Irene and Psyche."

"So what did they do to you that made you want to leave?"

"Mother tried to have the Dark Brotherhood assassinate my half-brother so I would inherit," I said with a sigh. "So I left for fear she might find a way to get me to cooperate with that."

"She doesn't need your help to summon the Dark Brotherhood," observed Sofi.

"She does when she's locked up in the attic bedroom," I said. "And dad has taken the props and buried the human remains while selling the rest."

"Your dad locked your mother up?"

"When you are so determined that your son should be the heir that you are willing to make a pact with the dread lord Sithis, yeah," I replied. "I mean it's really hard to kill the woman you love. So dad, instead of killing her or throwing her into prison, kept her in the house. As for me? I had to choose between my half-brother and my mother, and I picked my brother since mom had no right to kill him."

Sofi was quiet for a moment.

"I sort of . . . ran away . . . Because my parents didn't like who I was seeing. They said he was a jerk and I couldn't trust him. So I ran off with him," she said.

"And when you got pregnant, he left you like your mom and dad said he would," I observed.

Sofi simply looked away from me and stared at the cliffs which were passing by. I was getting to know this sort of behavior. When I hit the nail on the head, she would 'run away'.

"When was the last time you saw your parents?" I asked.

"Right after I found out I was pregnant," she replied. "I didn't feel like hanging around while they unloaded the 'I told you so's' and guilt trips so I left," she continued. "Not that I'm missing anything. I never really liked them once I got past puberty. They were always so bitchy with each other. Mom always complaining about dad and dad always putting down mom."

"Sort of like what we do," I mused quietly.

"Yeah," she agreed. There was a bit of ironic smile on her features.

"Of course I'm always telling you that I love you. Did your dad ever tell your mother that?"

Sofi got quiet again for a while. Then after a few moments, she said, "I remember they told each other that when I was really little? Then later on, it was just dad. And then one day, mom said, 'No you don't because if you did you would . . .' and that was the start of a really messy fight. I hid under the bed during it. And dad never told mother he loved her again. That I can remember."

I looked over at her. Above us the road was climbing, we had just taken a very sharp jog in it, and I could see traces of snow on the cliffs above us. "I hope I never stop telling you that I love you," I said. "Unlike your father."

"It's all lies," sighed Sofi. She snuggled up next to me for there was a coolness to the breeze. "But as long as you keep telling them I figure you're going to stay around for a bit longer and I kind of like how you treat me most of the time."

"Most of the time?" I asked.

"You're not the perfect actor," she continued as she looked at my ears, obviously suggesting that I had not cleaned them out like I ought to have. "But you do say things which make me wish I could count on you to be around forever. Like showing me the house you want to buy yesterday. I almost believed you actually meant it. And you let me drink. And you let me make love to you. I mean that's the difference between you and my old boyfriend. He liked making love to me but I just put up with it. I like making love to you and you just put up with it. I didn't know guys could just . . . you know . . ."

"Sofi? Where did you get the idea I don't like making love to you?" I was so utterly surprised at this statement it almost took me a full few seconds to process it.

"There's always one person in the couple that doesn't like it," she argued. "It was me with my old boyfriend and some other woman I talked to confirmed it was something women just had to put up with so when I discovered that it really felt good when I made love to you, I figured you had to be the one who was just putting up with it."

"Well then let me enlighten you," I said with a rather world weary sigh. "When the woman enjoys making love to the guy, it's because the guy is trying to treat her right on all counts. Its when the guy regards the girl as merely an object which he keeps around, like a pet? Then she finds she doesn't enjoy it. When making love, if it's all about the guy, the girl hates it. When the guy makes love and makes it all about the girl? She'll have the time of her life."

"Val?" said Sofi, obviously not believing a word of it. "You have told me I was your first. I was not only the first girl you made love to, but the first girl you kissed. How in oblivion would you know something like that?"

"I had a long talk with my dad on these things when I turned fourteen," I said. "He told me all the important stuff, by that meaning not what goes into where, but why you do it and what it means when you do it."

"Your dad actually talked with you about that?"

"That's what fathers are supposed to do," I replied. "It was kind of hard for him because I was his son, but then he had already told Aurelian a couple of years before so it was a bit easier with me. Of course Aurelian told me all about it when he had the chance, shortly after Dad had talked with him. At the time I thought it was rather unsettling, being that I was only twelve. But when Dad took me aside for 'the talk' when I was fourteen, I was more than ready. And it was a good thing too. It really sobered me up."

Sofi was quiet again for a moment. "Mom never talked about it to me," she sighed. "Said it was a curse and I'd find out soon enough."

"What do you think now?" I asked.

"I'm really torn," she sighed. "On one hand, when we're making love, it feels good and I get all tingly, and then I get relaxed afterwards and you just hold me for almost ever and I feel really safe and secure. But sooner or later I'm not going to get a period, then my waist will gain and inch or two, and you'll call me fat and when I say I'm pregnant . . . I'm not looking forward to that."

"Because that's when I'll leave you," I said rather rhetorically.

"See?" she proclaimed. "You've admitted it."

"No," I said with my temper rising, in part because she was so convinced of that, but likewise because I was such an idiot for actually saying it, knowing what I knew about her. "That's what you say!"

We were both quiet for a moment. A few snowflakes began to fall. I looked over at her. She had such a sad look on her face and at the same time, the snowflakes on her hair added such a magical quality to her. How could a girl that pretty be so messed up? I thought out carefully what I was going to say next.

"I can't wait to be able to prove to you that I won't be leaving you when you get pregnant," I said.

"You are such a good actor," she responded with a bit of grin as she snuggled up a little closer to me.

And that is sort of how we rode into the Thalmor Embassy. The wind had picked up as had the snow fall and so we were a bit chilly. Sofi complained at one point that her nipples were freezing off. Then she insisted that it wasn't her nipples but something which sounded like nipples, and I simply shook my head. Suffice to say we were really glad when we walked into the Embassy. As I had suspected, once I told the guard that Sofia was my wife, the guard took a second to come to a decision, and then let us both in. The Thalmor may be politically obnoxious and tyrannical, but individual Thalmor are just ordinary folk and accordingly, you don't sit there and let something silly like an apparent bureaucratic blunder leave a wife to freeze out in the snow. And especially when her husband makes it clear that if he can't come in without her, he's going home and the guard happens to be a woman. I could tell by her look that she was more than happy to allow me the privilege of bringing my wife in without an invitation for her. And she even gave Sofia one of those 'you are so lucky to have such a man' looks which Sofi completely missed because Sofi did not believe a word of it.

And we were in. And so was Elenwen who promptly greeted us with that elderly aristocratic sounding voice of hers. She observed correctly that we had not met and I promptly gave her my entire family description and dropped the name of the Thalmor Attache in the Imperial City, a fellow named Salmo who's penchant for finding the perfect sweet roll was the fun story all the council like to talk about at the parties. Naturally Elenwen was more than familiar with both Salmo and his sweet roll obsession and so she promptly warmed up to us. She told a pack of lies about how the Empire and the Dominion could bring peace and order to Tamriel and I told a pack of lies about Thalmor enlightenment bringing about a new dawn and in short, we got along swimmingly. Then she asked what brought me to Skyrim and I talked about how my wife and I were planning on moving into Solitude and establishing our family interests in a new locale to compliment our holdings in Cyrodiil and that made perfect sense to her, given my background. She talked business interests for a bit of which I was somewhat familiar with, particularly since I decided to relate it to the arts of which of course I was the expert at. And again, a pack of lies were told by both parties and we left with smiles and hand clasps and promises to do the lunch thing at some future date.

"She's not pretty," observed Sofia. "But she can act."

"I prefer pretty," I replied, smiling at Sofia.

"Of course," she responded. "It's why you're with me."

It was at this point that we ran into a dark haired women who looked to be something around forty.

"I don't recall seeing you before, and I know everyone who's anyone in Skyrim," she said.

"I just came up from Cyrodiil," I smoothly replied. I took an immediate dislike to the woman. Anyone who says they know everyone already is frequently what can charitably described as invincibly ignorant. What bit of Imperial politics I had experienced through my dad suggested a constant state of flux where new personalities were always rising and old powers were fading away. The only person who thinks they know anyone worth knowing, is a person who has already decided who is worth knowing and who is not, and accordingly misses out on a lot of stuff which goes on around them.

"And you are?" queried Sofia, putting on a party smile and trying to smooth things out.

"I don't know who you are, but if you don't want me blowing your cover, I'd advise that you avoid me for the rest of the party."

"It would be a pleasure," I replied smiling and guided Sofi away from the horrible person.

"Let's find out who she is so we can do unspeakable things to her corpse some day," suggested Sofia in a stage whisper, the sort that suggested she likely wouldn't entirely mind if the woman behind us heard.

"Well you know I'll do anything for you," I whispered back. "Because you're so beautiful. So let's ask Jarl Elisif who's standing over there and looking a little lonely."

"That ugly weak willed whiner?"

"What don't you like about Jarl Elisif?"

"The way you looked at her the last time we were in the court."

"She lost her husband whom she loved deeply. Ulfric murdered him. I can't help but feel sorry for her," I replied. "It's not as if she's prettier than you. She comes almost as close, but your eyes are so superior she'll have to resign herself to being second place next to you. So I could understand her not liking you, but why wouldn't you like her?"

"Well I suppose a little chat wouldn't hurt," concluded Sofia.

I greeted the Jarl and she returned the smiles and we were shortly talking about her wistful recollections of when her husband, the former high King Torygg, had taken her to these parties and the fun they would have together. I of course related how broken up I would be if I lost Sofia and the Jarl talked about how I was such a sweetie and Sofia, who remained with a mild skeptical look upon her face, nevertheless warmed up to the idea as Jarl Elisif gushed over it. She then noted that I had helped with the Potema incident and had been very discrete about the whole affair which she had more than appreciated and likewise, Jarl Siddgeir had mentioned to her that I was not afraid to get my hands dirty.

"When there's the right thing to be done," I replied quietly. "Yes, I'll wade through the muck to get it done."

Then she led us over to a corner and we chatted quietly about an offering to Talos which I assured her I would do. In fact I went so far as to tell her that as often as she wished I would make offerings to Talos on her behalf. Elisif then complimented Sofia on her outfit and Sofia promptly opened up and chatted with her about 'girl stuff' and that, as par for the course, included a few complaints about how slovenly I could dress. Elisif then took the opportunity to recollect some of High King Toryggs' favorite outfits which she had hated. Sofia managed to find out that it was Maven Black Briar who was threatening to blow our cover and then complained about her snobby attitude and Jarl Elisif was more than a little in agreement with that. All the while I will confess I was making surreptitious glances over to where the Blackest of the Black Briars was seated and as I suspected, she remained oblivious to the fact that we were clearly playing the very dear friends game with Jarl Elisif. And the thing that makes the very dear friends game so sweet, is that you invariably end up with a very dear friend as a result.

I was also looking at Malborn and he was getting more and more nervous as the time slipped on. We ended up spending about three quarters of an hour with Jarl Elisif and finally I decided to come clean and shared with her the reason why we were at the party. Her eyes went wide with amazement for while she had heard often enough of skullduggery and undercover during meetings with her advisors, she had never been 'in on' a mission. So when I suggested we would be shortly trying to swing a distraction, she smiled and suggested she might help out when the time came.

It took another fifteen minutes before we were able to find the appropriate patsy.

"What does a fellow need to do to get a drink around her?" asked the patsy, I mean Razelan.

"Sofi?" I said. "That's your department."

"How did you?" She began and then with a rather weary "Fine!" she reached into her side pocket which had turned out to be rather deep and pulled out a very nice bottle of Honningbrew which probably had been on the table to our left when we had gotten to the party. There was a faint clink when she pulled it out.

"And the other one," I said.

She sighed and handed that one over to him as well.

"And the other one," I said. I had no clue if she did or didn't but I had my suspicions.

She gave me one of those looks which suggests my precognition skills had reached legendary status and sure enough, she got out a third bottle of Honningbrew from the other pocket.

"I was curious why that glass of mead you had been holding for the entire party never seemed to be empty," I added.

As for Razelan he was praising us as the two generous souls amongst a gathering of pinch-pennies and lickspittles.

"If there's anything I can do for you," he suggested. "Do not hesitate to call upon me!"

"Actually," I started, pretending that I had just come up with the idea. "There is something you could do for me and Sofi."

"Wonderful!" he said. "I can begin to repay your generosity immediately. Say on, friend."

I first looked over to Jarl Elisif who noticed my glance. I winked to her and she gave me a little girl grin. She was looking forward to this, not that I blamed her. There is something horribly dull about having to be the proper lady all the time. You can't just let loose and be only a little silly without everyone in the Hold talking about it and concluding political things as a result.

"I need you to cause a scene. Get everyone's attention for a few minutes."

"Is that all? My friend, you've come to the right person. You could say that causing a scene is somewhat of a speciality of mine."

Under the right circumstances I would have introduced him to Sofia as a fellow traveler, but I needed her to be with me when the scene was caused.

"Stand back," said Razelan. "And behold my handiwork."

He stood up and walked into the exact center of the room and shouted "Attention everyone! Could I have your attention please? I have an announcement to make. I propose a toast to Elenwen, our mistress!"

Sofi and I began to slip towards Malborn as this went on. I really hated to miss out on the fun, but we had a job to do and it was a bit more important than watch Razelan, with all the acumen, skill, and panache of a well honed professional, make an ass of himself. It takes a special kind of person to be able to take pride in being able to do that.

"I speak figuratively of course. Nothing could be more unlikely than that someone would actually want her in their bed," he proceeded.

"Oh man this is going to be good," I sighed. Then I turned to Malborn and he surreptitiously opened the door to the embassy kitchen.

"Although . . . most of you are already in bed with her, but again . . . I speak figuratively, of course," he continued.

We were at the door. I really wanted to see this play out, but Malborn was getting horribly agitated and we had to move. So we slipped away.

Actually, I did get a good blow by blow of the entire distraction since Jarl Elisif was more than happy to regale the event with us at a dinner party we would one day attend with her. It was her first and only adventure and she loved to tell the story. Apparently the moment the guards walked up and began to 'settle' Razelan down she promptly accused Maven of bringing Razelan in her party. Maven of course had huffily denied it and Elisif then suggested she was a liar as well since it was well known that only she would have people in her company who would suggest that Elenwen was nothing but a whore and with what should have been a tour de force, but turned out to have unforeseen consequences, she suggested that Maven was the sort who would be probably hiding a shrine to Talos in the Ratway. Now I said it should have been a tour de force because everyone who had any connection to the Empire's intelligence network would know that there were rumors of Maven's involvement with the Thieves Guild and they were supposed to be headquartered in Riften's Ratway. Thalmor agents poking around Riften and under it's sewers would have been more than just trouble for the Thieves Guild. But wait, there's more. The Jarl of Riften was more than eager to clean up any hints of corruption in the town, but likewise, she was also a Stormcloak in ideology. I had to admit, Jarl Elisif knew exactly where to poke the stick into the hornet's nest. That was going to prove to be one very messy three ring circus.

But as for me and Sofia, we slipped through the kitchen, and into the pantry where our stuff was stored. We changed out of our party clothes, put on our mage robes and armor, though I will admit I took advantage of Sofia in her underclothes and gave her a few romantic kisses and caresses before I let her get her armor on, and then with our left hands casting muffle, and our right hands lifting invisibility potions to our mouths, we vanished out of sight and commenced to explore the Thalmor Embassy.

Given all the sneaking around we had done, while I wouldn't say it was old hat, we did manage to avoid the guards for the most part. Sofia however did grumble when we got up to Elenwen's room. She had been looking for a copy of The Lusty Argonian Maid which she was certain was a classy piece of intellectually stimulating literature. Or at least stimulating. She had tried several times to get a used copy but the covers were always worn and the pages were always sticking together and she was convinced there was some sort of conspiracy about it. When she failed to find it in Elenwen's bedroom she was a bit put out and grumbled in a faint whisper for most of the second story reconnaissance.

It was when we got into the Solar's basement that we hit pay dirt. But likewise this was where the brawl began and we ended up killing four guards and two Thalmor officials before it was all over with. But we did manage to rescue a citizen of Riften and likewise save Malborn from being tortured as a double agent for the moment Elenwen noticed our absence, she put two and two together quickly enough. It's always a pain when your opponents are smart enough to figure out that you're the one who needs killing. Then there was that annoying troll in the cave just below the embassy.

But we got out okay and started walking down the road towards Riverwood where we would be meeting up with Delphine, our packs filled with all sorts of Thalmor intelligence records.

"It's going to be a long walk back to Riverwood," observed Sofia.

"Yep," I agreed. "We had to leave the carriage behind at the Embassy, and then the Thalmor investigate that, they'll find Delphine's fingerprints all over the operation."

"That was perfectly good Honningbrew you gave to that jerk," continued Sofia.

"It was what you had slipped into your pockets," I replied. "Had you gotten the ordinary stuff, that would have been what we gave him. But when we get to Dragon's Bridge, it will be time to retire for the night, how about I buy you a few more bottles, along with a nice meal, and we get the room with the double bed?"

"No singing for our room and board?" asked Sofia. "What's the occasion?"

"We got out of there alive and you were looking really pretty in your underwear when we were in the pantry," I replied. "Is that good enough for you? And likewise you let me admire you for a moment and you didn't call me a pervert."

"Well I did wake up married to you almost two weeks ago," she admitted. "That does carry with it certain privileges, not to mention I've been spending a lot of time with you wearing a little bit less."

"True enough," I replied. "And you've not cast that spell on me recently either."

"I don't need it," she replied with a bit of a saucy grin. "And I figure if I'm not careful, you'll learn it and cast it back on me. That could be very embarrassing if you time it wrong."

"Would the timing be wrong tonight after we retire to the room?" I asked grinning back.

Sofia actually blushed. Not that I intended to cast it. It's funner undressing them with your fingers, or at least I think so, and besides, I didn't know the spell yet. But if Sofia thought I did?

Yeah, tonight was going to be one of the good nights. Maybe, just maybe a few more of these and she would finally admit that we were the perfect couple and things would be resolved. Maybe these reports we had snagged would solve the Dragon problem. And maybe Elenwen and the Thalmor would not conclude I was worth the effort to track down and deal with.

And then again, maybe one of these days I'd be less naive.


	10. Chapter 10 - A Song For Riften

"When people think of wood elves, they usually think of trees. But not me. I'm a little too embarrassed to say what comes to mind."

We were on the road from Riverwood to Riften. Arriving in Riverwood, we had retired to Delphine's secret headquarters. Yes, she actually had a secret headquarters. I can't make this stuff up people, remember when I said that the truth is stranger than fiction? That's why when you tell what really happened, you seldom, if ever, have to embellish. What the information we had been able to glean from the Thalmor reports told us two things. First, the Thalmor were just as mystified as we were about the dragons. No surprise there. The second thing was that Esbern, an old blade who had been one of the scholars of the organization was still alive and probably hiding in Riften. He might know something about the dragons, and likewise, after he had told the Thalmor everything they wanted to know, they would kill him. We had to get him before the Thalmor did. Of course at this time we had no idea what Jarl Elisif had said at the party and what was now happening in Riften and the Ratway.

"So," continued Sofi looking at me with a bit of an impish smile on her features. "What do you think about when you think of wood elves?"

I pondered for a moment. I was going to tell the truth and damn the consequences because it was something in the long term, Sofi would appreciate.

"I think of you," I replied.

"Are you saying my ears and chin are too long?" was her first response.

"Sofi? If I said you were the most beautiful woman in the world . . ."

"Yes?" she was more than willing to encourage this line of thinking.

"And your ears and chin were as long as a wood elf's . . ." No response. "Wouldn't that simply be one of the reasons why I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world?"

"No," she replied. "Because if I had a chin and ears as long as a wood elf's, I couldn't possibly be the most beautiful woman in the world because I wouldn't be looking like me."

"Your methods of reasoning to a conclusion never cease to astound me," I suggested.

"Even though that sounds like a very intellectual compliment why do I keep thinking there's an insult hidden in there somewhere?"

"Just your imagination," I lied.

"So why do wood elves make you think of me then?" Her curiosity was definitely up.

"There were these three wood elf sisters who lived in the docks district of the Imperial City," I began. "And they were all really cute. But Carwen was the cutest of the three. And they worked on and off at our house helping with the cleaning and cooking and stuff. I really wanted to kiss that girl. But she was so cute I was convinced she already had a guy and I couldn't stand the thought of being rejected so I dithered and did nothing, even when she started smiling at me every time I walked by and laughed at all my jokes."

"She sounds like a tramp," was Sofia's suggestion. The jealousy was starting to rise in her, but I plowed on ahead.

"But of course that was when mother started asking me to find a source of nightshade for the Night Mother Ritual and I started refusing and she started putting out the 'guilt' trips because I wasn't willing to work to advance myself. Warned me I would end up a dead in a ditch since Aurelian would find me a threat to his position. So I had to inform my dad what mom was planning and had to leave. So I never got to kiss Carwen."

"Poor baby," suggested Sofia with not so much of a hint of a trace of sympathy.

"Well there I was with Helgen burning around me and I was thinking I was going to die as I was running to the tower. And what kept going through my head was how I never got enough of a nerve to try to have a relationship with Carwen."

Sofia was looking straight ahead and frowning. Her feet started to slap the cobblestones.

"So," I went on. "Nearly a week later, I walk into this stable outside of Whiterun and I see a woman even more beautiful asleep in the hay and once again part of me was saying she was too pretty to be single, but you know? I could still remember that I thought like that with Carwen so I said to myself . . . 'Self? You are not going to let this woman slip you by because you didn't have the nerve.' And so I walked up to her and asked her if I might share her hay pile. And you know who that woman was?"

"You have a lot of nerve suggesting that a tramp inspired you to come up to me in that stable!"

"Sofia, how in oblivion can you be jealous of a woman who I knew before I even knew you? One whom I'll never see again anyway? What is wrong with Carwen?"

"She's a Bosmer tramp!"

"Oh, will you can the Nord racism for a single moment and think about what I'm really saying?"

"Nord Racism? As if that isn't a racist statement right there? Just because I don't like Bosmer, or Altmer, or Dunmer, or Orcs, or Argonians, or Kahjiit, or Bretons, or Imperials . . ." Sofi paused looking at me. I was crossing my arms and shaking my head while trying not to grin. There simply was something funny about her inability to not express vocally what she was thinking. "Damn it, I always end up upsetting someone," she grumbled.

"Allright, hand over your valuables or I'll gut you like a fish!" came a new voice into our general perception.

Sofi and I turned to face the new voice, that being an Argonian bandit.

"Do you mind?" I asked, facing the bandit. "I'm having an intimate loving romantic heart to heart fight with my wife. Besides, we're obviously bards. Do we really look like we have any money on us?"

"Yes," replied the Argonian. "You look like you are lousy with gold. I am not going to ask again . . ."

And he didn't for a single 'Fus Do Rah' from me and Ice Bolt to his head from my darling Sofi sent him flying back fifty feet.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love you when you put huge chucks of ice into the skulls of annoying Argonians?" I asked.

"You lie about that all the time," she replied.

I swatted her on the backside for that remark.

"I don't know what gets into you," sighed Sofia.

"Sofi?" I continued. "I simply can not understand why you are so jealous of every single woman that has the singular misfortune to blunder into our lives. Seriously now, a Bosmer maid I happened to know before you? One whom I specifically stated was not as pretty as you? Who's going around proclaiming herself the most beautiful woman in Skyrim? Who has openly argued that there's hardly anyone in Skyrim who would even be worthy to stand against her in a beauty contest? And given that I have no argument with that fact. Given that I for one happen to agree that you are the most beautiful woman in Skyrim, would it not stand to reason that before I met you I simply didn't know any better? Of course I'll be attracted to a Bosmer, I didn't know Sofia!"

"I HATE IT when you get rational on me!" she snapped.

"Sofi Sofi Sofi," I said pulling her into a gentle hug. "Don't you realize that it's not half as important that every guy in Skyrim thinks your drop dead gorgeous as it is that the guy who loves you thinks your drop dead gorgeous?"

"Well yeah," she sighed. "If I had such a guy."

Since I was hugging her, she did not see me look skyward and roll my eyes. You know? It was at this juncture that it dawned on me that she could say these things that had, before we had accidentally ended up married, put me into such an emotional roller coaster. Now, for some reason or another, I could hear these things and it didn't mess me up any more. I wondered about that for years really. And the conclusion I reached is that there's this surety in marriage which you don't find anywhere else. It kind of nails things down in a way that makes it easier to put up with all the lunacy the other person exhibits that would put you on a milk soaked bread diet for the rest of your life if you were still single. She was firmly convinced I would leave her, but I knew she wouldn't leave me. And so it didn't matter that her mouth was forged and locked to the thinking part of her brain. Her entire range of physical gestures said she was going to stay with me until that day when I, not her, threw her over my shoulder and walked away. So while I remained ignorant of this facet of the relationship with her at that juncture, my emotions were not yanking my chain. I was beginning to see some of the humor in the behavior which today enables me to look back and laugh.

"Dibilla?" I silently prayed. "Why did you do this to me? Why did you give me the most beautiful whacked out woman in all of Skyrim for me to fall utterly and entirely in love with?"

"One of these days, Sofi," I began standing back, putting my hands on her shoulders and looking into those deep lovely big baby blue eyes of hers. "I'm going to come up with a way to prove to you that I really do love you and when you realize that it's true, YOU are going to throw the biggest temper tantrum in the world."

"Even if that was the case, which it isn't, you'll never see it," was her defiant answer.

We walked on in silence for a bit. The towers and masts of Riften began to be seen though the trees and shortly thereafter we came up to the north gate.

"Halt," began the guard. "Before you enter, you'll have to pay the visitors tax."

"The what?" I asked. "What is a visitors tax for?"

"For the privilege of entering the city."

"This is such a shakedown!" began Sofia

"Alright alright, keep your voice down, I'll open the gate," grumbled the guard.

And the gate opened on our destiny. Yeah, that's really troweling it on, I know, but Sofia and I had no clue how this day was going to end. And quite frankly it was a day I've never forgotten. And so now that I'm relating it, each and every detail seems to stand out and play itself out over and over again in my mind.

We barely got into the town when we passed another tall Nord woman in banded armor and a large weapon on her back while another guy was busy saying the sorts of things Nord guys say to women they are in the process of falling in love with. Then a bearded 'tough' guy by the name of Maul told us there was nothing to see in the town and to keep moving. A few choice questions later and I had learned enough of the town to know that there was more to things than met the eye. I bluffed him into thinking I was the sort of guy who might make his fortune in the town, and not in a hard working honest manner either, and he was more than informative. One of the fun things about being a Bard is that you learn how to act really well. We walked on, tried to ignore the girl who was shaking down a young naive Redguard, and found ourselves in the town plaza where I was bluntly informed by an Alchemist that I had not earned my money honestly. I didn't have a chance to comment on that one since Sofia suggested which orifice he could store his Falmer blood elixir in.

We walked into the Bee and Barb Inn, waited for the Priest, who's name was Maramal, to finish his ranting sermon on the evils of alcohol before the chief waiter, an Argonian named Talen-Jei, suggested to Maramal that everyone in the bar just wanted to sin in peace. I shook my head.

"Why would anyone think that mead is the problem?" I muttered. "Especially as the reason why the dragons flying about."

"You know," mused Sofia. "If the dragons are back because we're drinking too much mead? Imagine what's going to happen when we actually start to kill each other."

"Maramal needs to rethink a few things," I agreed.

Keerava was the bar tender. She too was Argonian. I walked up to her and arranged a three hour set of music. Then Sofia and I walked over to the center of room, I pulled out my lute and she got out the flute she had been learning to master these past few weeks. And we started out with a popular song titled The Age of Aggression. We employed the pro-Ulfric verses and the crowd began to warm up to us quite quickly. By the end of thirty minutes, we had more than a few of the listeners dancing about the tavern and some of the choruses were rousing enough that people could hear the merriment outside and came in. Naturally they stayed to listen and then purchased drinks. Sofia would switch from drum to flute and back again while I stayed on the lute and sang all the songs I had collected. And to top it off, I added at the end, a collection of love songs. And then I changed the routine just a little. Instead of singing to the audience, I began to sing to Sofia. And after a moment, Sofia began to blush. The audience picked up on that and there were more than a few "awes" and "That's so sweet" coming from them because of course, while Sofia might have denied the sincerity, the audience could see it straight. It was a good gig. And when we finished the crowd began to chant "one more song!" and so we gave in an let them have a final re-singing of the Pro-Ulfric Age of Aggression.

I walked back to Keerava while Sofia snagged a bottle of mead from Talen-Jei and sat at the table and began to drink it and unwind.

"That was a good performance," she started with. "I've sold more drinks in the last three hours than I usually sell in a week. You've more than earned your beds."

"Beds?" I asked. "You haven't got a double for me and my wife?"

"That's your wife you sang the love songs to and meant it?" she gasped.

I chuckled. "'friad so," I continued. "I am cursed to be madly in love with my wife."

Keerava sighed. "I have no double beds," she said. "And neither does the bunkhouse. Not that Haelga would want the competition."

I looked at Keerava with a completely mystified expression.

"It's a religious thing," suggested Keerava. "She's fond of Dibella."

"Ah," I said. "Say no more. Anyway, there's an old fellow named Esbern who's supposed to be hiding out in Riften. He's in serious danger from the Thalmor and I need to get him to safety."

Keerava looked at me with narrowed eyes.

"The Thalmor are looking for him too," she observed. "So why would I not think you are an agent of theirs."

"You could ask Ulfric," I replied. "He was standing right there when I made my vow to live and breath a Stormcloak."

"You made a vow?" asked Keerava.

"Until my head flies off my body," I replied.

I was telling the truth and she knew it.

"I've never seen him," she said. "But then again, I've never seen an Imperial Stormcloak. But if he's hiding, it will be in the Ratway."

I nodded.

"But I don't know how lucky you'll be," she continued. "A few days ago the Thalmor came in and started sending groups into the Ratway. Maven Black Briar has been throwing fits and the Jarl, Laila Law-Giver has been sending patrols down as well to get rid of the Thieves Guild which the Thalmor claim are interfering with their own hunts for a so called Shrine of Talos. Nura Snow-Shod, the priestess of Talos, has been in hiding for five days now."

"I have no problem with Maven being upset," I suggested. "In fact I have no problem with her being so upset she has a rupture in the brain and spends the rest of her days drooling in a corner."

"She's in bed with Thieves Guild, and Dark Brotherhood," whispered Keerava. "So the Jarl and Thalmor are both finding more than a little dirt on her. Of course Dark Brotherhood assassins have already shown up a couple of times to kill Thalmor which has led to the Jarl being even more determined to get to the bottom of the corruption and given that most of her advisors are on the take . . ."

"Okay, the Ratway is crawling with all sorts of people I'm probably going to have to incinerate when I get Esbern out," I sighed. "Tell me when the traffic is low."

"Night," replied Keerava with a rather Captain Obvious expression on her face.

"No vampires down there?" I asked.

"That's on Mondas," answered Keerava with the Argonian equivalent of a smile. She looked at me with a certain intense curiosity. "Just how important is Esbern to Ulfric?"

"Not just Ulfric," I said. "To all of Tamriel. It's thought he knows why the dragons are coming back."

She nodded. "I know nothing," she said. "I don't know who you are, and I don't know where you are, and I don't for a moment imagine you are sleeping upstairs with your wife. And I'll have Talen-Jei move a second bed into the larger bedroom for your lovely wife with the very high alcohol tolerance."

"You noticed?"

"She's on her second bottle already," finished Keerava. "Hey, I'm a professional bar keeper, we know these things."

I nodded, walked over to Sofia, who, knowing the body language of departure, drained the bottle in a single fluid motion. It was rather an interesting experience to watch since her head went up, the bottle was almost entirely upside down, and it was as if there was a full and unobstructed passageway from her mouth to her stomach. I saw no indication that she was swallowing in the least.

"That's a very amazing skill you have there," I said.

"Yes," she said with a smile. "It is."

I began to explain the situation to her.

"Of course there are some bandits in the sewers. What next? A secret hideout? Oh wait!"

I nodded and she gave me one of those "I so expected this because it sucks to be Sofia" expressions.

I took her out and noticed that the sun was low in the horizon. There was going to be some time left before it got dark enough to head into the Ratway. We started walking about looking at things. And there it was, Honorhall Orphanage. I looked at Sofia. There was the strangest look on her face. And then it hit me.

"I know what I can do to prove to you that not only do I love you, but I'll be with you forever," I said.

Her eyes widened just a bit and she began to raise her hand to her mouth. It was entirely unexpected since it was as if she were afraid.

"What?" she asked with more air than voice.

"I'll adopt the baby you had by your old boyfriend," I said. "This is the only orphanage in Skyrim as far as I know. This is where you put him isn't it?"

"Her," whimpered Sofia.

"Her, then. Let's go." I turned to open the door.

"Valentine . . . She's not there."

"Why? Is she already adopted?"

"Valentine . . . She wasn't adopted either."

"Sofia? What happened to your daughter?"

There was a very silent whisper. It was as if some horrible doom was falling upon her for speaking the words. "Aconite and wine, it terminates the pregnancy."

I realized I had finally discovered the reason why she hated herself so much.

"You killed your child," I observed. You say that was uncaring? On the contrary, the truth is often ugly on the surface. I knew exactly what I was doing.

"I terminated the pregnancy," she nearly shrieked.

"No!" I raised my voice. "You Killed Your Baby!"

"So you're going to be just like my parents and start with the guilt trip thing?" she shouted.

"Guilt trip? Me?" I nearly bellowed. "Girl, you got on that wagon months ago and have been traveling on the five star package for so long you have done ARRIVED!"

"If I hadn't done it I would be with my parents raising the girl and you Never Would Have Met Me!"

"And if my ancestor had, I never would have existed and you would be living in a cave so it evens out doesn't it!"

"I didn't want it to end like this!" she screamed.

"End?" I said. "I'll show you an end!"

And I dived and slammed my shoulder into the joint were her hips met her legs and with a single thrust from my legs and straightening my back, I actually managed to lift her up and proceeded to walk down the boardwalk, my arms firmly wrapped around her thighs while she beat my back and backside with her fists screaming that everyone was staring at us and it wasn't her fault and so on and so forth.

Two guardsmen of course were almost immediately on the scene. Funny how they never show up when it's a thief with a knife.

"Dramatic argument between a Dragonborn and his wife," I said calmly while Sofia was screaming all sorts of horrible fates she was going to inflict upon me the moment I put her down. "Nothing to see here."

I will admit, for all the corruption in Riften, these guards did have the professional acumen to know they were simply witnessing a somewhat loud domestic dispute and as no blood was being shed, they left well enough alone. I reached the Temple of Mara and with a single thrust by my right leg, pushed the door open and walked in. Sofia's screaming and threats were now reaching a state which could be charitably described as piercing and all three priests and priestesses were staring at us and no doubt wondering how I had managed to get here without the guards stopping us. With a single fluid motion I swung her around and somewhat irreligiously dumped her in front of the icon of Mara. A single thrust with my arms put her on her knees.

Now I will freely admit that throughout this entire fracas, she easily could have blasted my face off and made a run for it. The fact that she was both vocally potent while at the same time physically impotent told me that on some level she knew I was doing the right thing. But being that she was Sofia, she was not going down without a fight.

"Say you're sorry," I said pointing to the icon of Mara. "Say you're sorry and have it over with."

She was breathing heavily. She was straining just a little against my pressure on her shoulders, but she remembered the dragon mound, and she knew I would not let up. It took a moment but then, like a single dead groan, slowly released, it came out. "I'm sorry." Followed by a sort of world weary sigh that suggested that now that it was over with could she go?

I waited about five seconds before the explosion I knew would come, that first huge body shuddering sob of grief. And then the flood gates were opened and it all came out . . .

"I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msosorryMaraI'msorryI'msorry."

And she cried and cried and cried as all that so long suppressed deep regret was finally given the freedom to vent out. And all the while I just wrapped my arms around her shoulders and held her while her body spasmed with the emotions.

After a moment, the Priest Maramal came up and knelt in front of Sofia who looked up at him with tear soaked eyes.

"Mara didn't tell me what you had done," he said quietly. "But she made it very clear to me that I was to tell you that she had forgiven you."

That's the nice thing about the Gods. There's of course the sentimental tripe about how the Gods will forgive the penitent who crawls in on their knees, but few ever fully appreciate that level of forgiveness which even accepts the penitent who is hauled kicking and screaming to the altar.

I waited a moment for Sofia to collect herself and then helped her up and holding her next to me we started to walk out of the temple. She was leaning against me in a longing sort of fashion that seemed as if she was trying to make a memory. We got out of the temple and she turned to face me.

"I wish it could have gone on longer," she sighed. "I really liked being with you. But of course now that you know who I really am, you know I wouldn't be a good mother for your children and you deserve that, Valentine. You deserve a woman who can do that for you, Valentine, so much. I can't give it so . . ."

"Sofia," I began. "What in oblivion are you trying to do?"

She looked at me with her mouth somewhat open.

"What did Mara just do in there?" I asked pointing back at the temple with my other hand fisted on my hip.

"She forgave me but . . ."

"And why wouldn't I?"

"But you're the Dragonborn . . ."

"And that makes me bigger than a God or Goddess?" I snorted. "Sofi who in oblivion do you think made the Dragonborn if not the Gods? Oh yeah, big whoop I'm the Dragonborn, I'm the big chick magnet and all the young boys want to be me but next to the Gods? I held my finger and thumb as close as I could. "I'm that big and that's only a fraction bigger than every other Human and Mer in Tamriel."

I looked into those wonderful eyes of hers and for the first time ever I saw something I had never seen before in them. I saw hope. It was small. It was just a spark. But it was trying very hard to burst into a bright burning fire.

"Mara isn't called Mother Mara out of sentiment," I continued. "If the Goddess of Mothers is ready to accept you back into the fold then who am I to deny you? I love you Sofia. And I know you'll do your damnedest to be the best mother a guy could hope for, even more so now that you've got something to prove to the world."

It was still there, but it hadn't blossomed yet. I waited to see what was holding it back.

"Well," she said somewhat hesitantly. "You just might have a chance to prove that sooner than you think because my period right now is twelve days late."

Have you ever ridden a white stallion over a hill, dressed in shimmering silver armor, and holding aloft a golden flaming sword, kind of like Dawnbreaker? Have you ever charged down that hill on that stallion and seen an army of orcs flee before you and in the middle of that terrified hoard, ride up, and with a single swing of your singing blade, break a chain that frees a beautiful princess dressed in shimmering sky blue gossamer silk? Have you, with a single grasp of a hand, pulled her into the saddle and ridden off singing into the sunset?

You haven't? Me neither.

But I sure as oblivion felt like I had.

"Well," I said with a smile watching that hope burst into joy. "It's a little too early to celebrate with certainty but I don't care. Let's get Esbern out of the Ratway, then secure him in an upstairs room at the Bee and Barb, and then just in case you need to start eating for two, I'm going to buy you the biggest most drowned in rich brown gravy meat pie they've got and there will be three, count 'em three, bottles of Black Brier Reserve to go with it."

"Well," she said with one of the biggest spiciest grins I had ever seen on any woman, let alone Sofia. "Okay, but you forgot dessert."

"What do you want for dessert?" I asked with a completely faked world weary groan. She was still Sofia when it came down to it.

"You upstairs, in our bedroom, under me, seriously getting raped hard."

"Well," I replied struggling to sound very intellectual about it in spite of the fact that I really wanted to just giggle in a corner somewhere like a little girly-girl. "First of all, girls can't rape guys. Second of all, you can't rape the willing."

"You think just because I'm your wife you can tell me what to do? Well think again!"

Loving Sofia, it's a dirty thankless job but somebody's got to do it. I gave her a one armed hug and we started walking towards the stairs that would take us down to the canal boardwalk where the Ratway was supposed to be. And as we always did, there was the checklist to make sure we were ready for the jaunt.

"Sofia? Enchanted Scale Armor?"

"Check," she said.

"Ring of Enchanted Sword Fighting?"

"Check."

"Silver Circlet of Frost Resistance?"

"Check, Valentine?"

"What?"

"We've done this a million times, and I see no reason why we won't come out of this like we've done in the past, but, just in case everything goes south, there's something I want you to know."

"What?"

"I Love You So Damn Much."

And you know? I'm okay with that.

* * *

**And so Volume One comes to an end. I started this in August and it remained a single chapter for over a month before I started chapter two. Then it languished for several days because I had no clue what I was going to do after chapter three. Then everything about the Sofia personality clicked and I realized what I was dealing with, the thing that made the character both funny and trouble at the same time. The trick was coming up with a deep dark secret which would be the clue to Sofia's self-hatred. And if you think abortion doesn't have that impact on some women just google Abortion Regret and you'll find two million hits.**

**So why did I feel the need to add a backstory? In the creative process, there is this thing which all creators have to do, be they authors like me, or mod builders like Jarvis, and that's called engineering. Those decisions you make about what you will and will not work on. For example, if you have read my other two fan fics, Shining Bright or Silvered Dancer, the plot of the game is always secondary to the story of the characters to which I am relating. Most people who never get something accomplished creatively are those who will not make those 'hard' decisions about what will and what will not be worked on. You see, once you decide to paint a morning sky, you've just lost the ability to paint an evening, afternoon, or night sky.**

**Jarvis has spent his hard earned time making Sofia alive and humorous by the comments she makes on the events and places to which the character experiences or visits. However we know very little of her backstory. This is not a criticism by the way. Backstories require Christine's acting skills which means she has to spend time voicing the lines and Jarvis has to program that as well. And that adds to the size of the mod. There's this thing called real life and time. I get to write because I have time in which no one comes into my store, and since it's my store, I can do with the time what I like. No one is going to fire the boss you see.  
**

**And a backstory is what I have to work with in order to write a believable romance. Fortunately, thanks to the comments Sofia makes, coupled with her various behaviors, she reminded me of three girls I had dated once upon a time. Two of them very much so, and a third somewhat less so. And while I don't know Sofia's full backstory, I did learn the backstory of those three RL women and those backstories became the grist for the Sofia backstory mill. So if some of the drama and past history of Sofia shocks or amazes or horrifies you, remember, there are three RL women who's youth directly contributed to it. Yes, these things really do happen and people really do respond in these ways 'cause I was there when it happened. Or at least was there to pick up the pieces afterwards.**

**I thought I would pass on some information on the three women I got the backstory for Sofia from. I do this because not all of you reading this will be reading it just for entertainment. By telling people where I get my ideas, I hopefully will help younger writers get more in grip as it were.**

**The first was sixteen when the dirty dark thing happened to her. Her older sister was sleeping around and the sweet sixteen was filled with idealism and called her, after one particular nasty argument, a slut. Well older sister gets one of her sophisticated guy friends who was 25 to agree to a little tete a tete. Well thanks to a bit of cunning and treachery, the 16 year old goes on a date with the 25 year old, not of course really knowing how this guy suddenly became interested in her. By the end of the evening, she's lost her virginity and feels like crap. She spent two years with the guy, who got increasingly abusive both physically and emotionally, because she was convinced this was what she deserved. I got to know her shortly after she ended this relationship and she was still on the recovery while we were dating in college. It was bad enough that her sister set her up like that, but the guy was breaking the law and committing a felony in the state where it happened back once upon a time. She has recovered and has her happily ever after. **

**The second girl had an older sister happily married and a younger brother scoring so high in school that it was certain he was going on to be a doctor. And he did too. And as this was not the US, this was more than a feather in the cap of the family. Only 5% of that country's population ever goes to college and it's by invitation only. She on the other hand, partied her way through high school and was accomplishing nothing outside of being able to look tough riding a motorcycle. Then she moves in with a boyfriend who's supposed to be sterile and gets pregnant. But being just 16, and already engaged in not a little denial, she went on a serious starvation diet trying to lose the weight since it couldn't be pregnancy. Well she miscarried. Her solution? A lot of marijuana. She was the one who got pinned down (in her grandmother's back yard as opposed to a Skyrim Dragon Mound) because of course she was firmly convinced she was unlovable and so the guy was obviously lying. Now mind you this was a woman who had several professional photographers trying to get her to model. They too were obviously lying so that was a seriously high profile career she threw away. She had not, when I last spoke with her, recovered from her self-loathing.**

**Last girl? Simply a divorcee who had the misfortune of marrying a guy who thought he was a poet, and therefore superior to the common man, and to her. As a former professional writer, I can assure you he was not. She dealt with the emotional abuse by heavy drinking which of course only depressed her further. When I dated her there were so many walls up that we were never able to communicate. There was one thing she said about her relationship with her first husband which I have never forgotten. "I was gobbling the birth control pills." She too has recovered and has her happily ever after a few blocks down the street from me.**

**Both men and women suffer from self-loathing usually when something triggers a serious guilt reaction. The sexes respond in different fashions but if the matter is not recognized and dealt with properly, the person will, over time, self-destruct. Most young men however, have no clue how to deal with these issues when encountering them in young girls and so Valentine had to be just naive enough to want to love this woman and at the same time be wise enough to know what had to be done when he finally found out what was really at the bottom of Sofia's behavior. It helped of course, that he simply could not take himself too seriously.**

**The guilt trip line of Valentine at the climax of the story actually comes from an African-American Folk tale which was told among the free blacks of the south prior to the civil war. The idiom I borrowed in it's true form is "He's been on the road to trouble his whole life and he has done arrived!" One of the things that people don't realize is that before the civil war, the free blacks did not have to deal with segregation since no southerner thought twice about their free black neighbors living across the street from them. And some of them even owned slaves themselves. And many southerners were firmly convinced that as the free black population was increasing at a faster rate than the slave population, it was only a matter of time before slavery died out in the south. Thus there was a very rich African-American culture dating from that time it was for the most part lost in the great northern migration which took place starting in the 1950's and ending in the early 70's. Another favorite idiom of mine which comes from the African-Americans is this, "He's so still the fleas are falling off his body."**

**Valentine is a Roman name from the second and third century and was the name of several prominent Romans, even one Imperator. But most of us remember Valentine the Bishop who sent little hearts to his congregation encouraging them during one of the great persecutions of Christianity. He became a saint in the Catholic Calendar and is celebrated on February 14th. Of course most of you know the day by it's more popular secular festivities. Florian is also a Roman name from the same time. Since the Empire in Tamriel has many Roman qualities, I picked two Roman names for my hero. Sofia is an ancient Greek name and it means wisdom. **

**And so we go on to Volume 2.**


	11. Chapter 11 - A Song For Serana

"Valentine?" Sofia was whispering in my ear. "We need to talk."

I tried to think about pretending to be deeply asleep but she was snuggled up next to me with her hand on my heart and her head on my shoulder and it would be seen through immediately.

"It's still dark out there, Sofi," I sighed. "The wind is blowing. There's snow falling. Why can't it wait until morning."

"Because this is the only time we can talk about it, Valentine," she persisted in that low whisper in my ear.

Now if you are familiar with my prior tales of my adventures in Skyrim with Sofia, you will no doubt remember that my friends call me Val and I often call Sofia, Sofi. She likes being called Sofi but she insists on calling me Valentine because it's easier to say than "I love you" because when she says that I don't say "What?" I say "I love you too." and that means she can't talk about what it is she wants to talk about.

Back in the Imperial City there was this book store where you could buy a copy of a book titled, "What Men Know About Women" which was filled with blank pages.

Suffice to say, ever since Sofia has been honest enough to admit that she loves me, she has been calling me Valentine. I don't mind really. She has such a nice way of saying it.

I pulled the sleeping fur bag around us a bit closer because there was a draught coming in from the tent flap and the fire just outside had long since died down to a bit of smoldering embers. We were naked. Now Sofia's period was seriously overdue and I had given no signs I was anything but pleased with the situation, though I will confess I was worried about the health issues our hard adventuring lifestyle was having on her as well as any possible child within her. Anyway, back to why she and I would be naked. Well when a woman thinks she's pregnant by a guy she's really feeling secure with, her emotional need for lovemaking apparently rises somewhat dramatically. Not that I was complaining. Seriously now. Skyrim's most beautiful woman is insisting I divest her of all protective coverings and make love to her in a fur sleeping bag just big enough for two. What is wrong with this picture? I agree, not a damn thing.

"Okay," I whispered back. "What do we need to talk about."

"It's about that ugly bitchy fang faced blood sucking tramp you are taking back to her family estate."

"You mean Serana?"

"Yes, that ugly bitchy fang faced blood sucking monster tramp . . ."

"She can probably hear you if half of what I have heard about vampires is true," I suggested.

"She left her tent and wandered off," said Sofia. "I saw her go and so I figured . . ."

"You could let me know how much you hate her without making her feel awkward?" I queried.

"What makes you think I hate her? Just because she's a blood sucking . . ."

"That's right," I sighed. "You don't hate her, you're jealous. You are convinced that because I was nice enough to her to not kill her on sight, trusted her enough to let her camp with us, and did not go totally into hysterics when she bit into that thief we had just killed; even though she has pale skin, fangs, glowing red eyes, and a very obvious appetite for human blood, I just might be attracted to her?"

"Well?"

"I think you need to be made love to again," I concluded. I was awake, and it looked like I was going to stay that way and it's not a bad way to pass a little time especially when you have a woman with such luxuriant black hair and big baby blue eyes to look upon when you do it. Her mouth isn't a bad thing to kiss either.

"I'm not done talking with you, get those fingers off of . . . I . . . I . . . *sighs* We'll talk about this later."

"Yes," I said. "We will" And we spent the next half an hour, or more, kissing. And other things.

So what was I doing making love to my wife in a tent which was just across a dying camp fire from a tent where a vampire was relaxing, if not sleeping? Vampires are not known for their restraint and discipline. They are just as likely to drain you dry as just take a sip or two. And the problem with taking just a sip or two is that you can get infected and turn into one over a few days. So trusting a vampire is a very rare thing, and as a rule, seriously stupid. In fact, if you trust a vampire, it's usually because they are employing a classic mental seduction power on you which will turn you into a thrall. So Sofia had every reason to be just a little scared, though she seldom admitted such emotions. Admitting she got scared on occasion was one of the first things that, in hindsight, told me she was beginning to trust me enough to start to fall in love.

The problem was that something told me that Serana was different. First of all, she had been sealed up, but when she came to after she had started to fall out of that stone sarcophagus she did not display any serious deformation which marks a vampire's face when that vampire has not fed recently. And upon talking it was clear that she had been in that tomb for over a thousand years. She was not aware there was an Empire in Cyrodiil. According to my understanding, she should have savagely attacked us for our blood. Given all the fighting we had already done just getting there, she no doubt could smell it all over us. Yet she had quietly begun to ask questions and openly admitted she was a vampire.

In my understanding she showed evidence that she still possessed a good share of her humanity. Not that vampires lose all their humanity, but it is clear that over time, vampires will more often than not descend to the level of beast and become nothing but a predator. Predators which talk to you, but predators nevertheless. She didn't attack us. She argued instead that there was a reason why she had been locked up and she needed to find out where things stood before she could open up and explain things. And she had waited until that bandit attack and only fed upon the dead. Freshly dead granted but still dead. She didn't care for the remnants once the bodies had cooled down, but for the next five minutes after the fight she was happily sinking her teeth into the necks and arms of the corpses. Sofia had turned her back to Serana and made more than a few faces. I could not blame her. There is something rather unnerving about a woman who sinks a pair of fangs into a human corpse and closes her eyes while she just drinks with a contented expression on her face.

I was left with one of two conclusions. Either this vampire, Serana, was one of the most naive people I had ever encountered, and that was more than highly unlikely, or she knew something that was seriously out of whack and I needed to find out. My decision was confirmed the moment I popped the big question.

"Is that an Elder Scroll on your back?"

"Yes," she replied. "And it's mine."

Problem with a pile of Vampire Dust is that it doesn't tell you what you need to know. So I was going to escort this red eyed blood sucking fang faced gentle featured nicely dressed soft spoken . . . Serana, to her families estate.

So, the next question you no doubt have is this, what was I doing making these sorts of decisions to begin with? I ended the tale with Sofia admitting, for the first time since I had met her, that she loved me as we were heading to extract Esbern from the Ratway in Riften. Well, we got him out. Rumor has it that the entire town was vibrating from all the fireworks which went off down there due to the fact that we were there to find Esbern, the Thalmor were there to find Esbern and a hidden shrine to Talos, which wasn't actually there which was making the Thalmor more than a little frustrated giving them a tendency to fireball first and ask questions afterwards by means of Raise Zombie spells. Add one Thieve's Guild who's operations were being really curtailed by the Thalmor, and add one big pile of town guards being sent by Jarl Lalia the Law Giver trying to curtail both the Thieves and the Thalmor. So, you have the Thalmor being sabotaged by the Town Guard who are being sabotaged by the Thieve's Guild who are being sabotaged by the Thalmor and we're trying to get in and out with an old man and for some reason or another everyone was convinced we were working for the other guys.

"That adventure gave an entirely new meaning to the phrase, 'go out and kill something,'" offered Sofia that evening at dinner. She was in the process of digging into a very thick and gravy soaked meat pie accompanied with three bottles of Black Briar Reserve. "And to the term shouting."

"Romantic date then?" I offered.

"This is," she replied. "I wouldn't say that the Ratway was romantic. It was too loud to be romantic. Lot's of big colorful explosions, but you know? I don't find that particularly romantic. Well, all the dead Thalmor made me feel a little happy, rotten sewers, rotten Thalmor, kind of fits don't you think?" She refilled her mug with black briar and drained half the contents. "You haven't forgotten dessert have you?" she asked. It was at this juncture that she donned her bedroom eyes and I was promptly transformed into a full grown adult male utterly incapable of saying anything other than "duh where do we go duh where do we go?." It had only been a few hours since she had, for the first time in our relationship, told me that she loved me and I was walking on clouds the entire time we were incinerating all the crazy people. I will admit that singing "Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, I'm a big wonkin thing" while letting off fire bolts to the rhythm of my music was a bit over the top and best reserved for children's operettas, but after all those weeks of emotional turmoil, to know that at last she was mine forever was the biggest emotional high I have ever experienced.

From Riften we got to Riverwood where we linked up with Delphine and from there we went to an ancient ruin where the Blades had their origin. That was known as Sky Haven Temple which was between Whiterun and Markarth and crawling with tribal Forsworn who were more than happy to slaughter anyone who bothered to wander by. Sofia observed that with all the strange people in revealing costumes she felt right at home. And then we had a problem. Yes, after we had taken out the Thalmor, and the Bandits who were trying to jump us on the way from Riften to Skyhaven, and the Forsworn, we had a problem.

There was very little information on how to defeat Alduin. As Esbern tried to explain it from this gigantic stone carved mural on this large wall in the middle of this vast mountain top castle which reminded me a little of Cloud Ruler Temple, or what was left of it after the Thalmor had worked to smash it, Sofia complained about lectures and very publicly yawned. I elbowed her once and she made a fuss over that so I figured once we got out of there we would have our fight. Which we did. Yes, I schedule fights with my wife. Given her personality, all you have to do is say A) and she responds with a rather cheeky B) whereupon I reply with C) she follows with an angry D) and I reply with a decently loud E) and when she responds with F) her voice has reached that level of shriek that qualifies us as having a Valentine/Sofia domestic dispute. That over with, Sofia and I set out to meet with the Greybeards and learn the shout that was supposed to destroy Alduin and that was when we got into a very nasty brawl with vampires and we found ourselves being assisted by a group of men lead by an orc in a style of scale armor I had not encountered prior. And Sofia got infected, and this was the second time vampires had infected her during a fight with them. So I was seriously ticked off with these vampires and when the orc told me that he was a member of the Dawnguard and they were looking for volunteer vampire hunters, I replied, "Where do I sign up?"

So it was back to Riften on the road to Morrowind where in a hidden cleft (yes, another secret hideout, what is it with these Nords?) there was a small valley with a very big castle in it which was in the process of being cleaned up. Sofia observed that it was obvious that it was being cleaned up by men since cobwebs were all over the place. Isran was the head of the Dawnguard and he was one of those grim doom and gloom sorts of chipper Redguards who was fond of saying upbeat and optimistic things like "I knew it would come to this, but no one would believe me" and "Your pa's axe? Stendar preserve us."

My job had been to 'take the fight to the damn creatures' while he and the rest of the Dawnguard fixed up the rest of the castle. Sofia was more than skeptical that the cobwebs were going to be part of the picture. And so we were sent up to Dimhollow Crypt (WHY is it ALWAYS a crypt?) where we discovered that the Vigilants had beaten us to it, but had managed to get themselves killed doing it. It was an extremely ancient Nord Crypt. There was none of the stonework which marks more recent Nord crypts, meaning in the past thousand years. There was the usual component of skeletons and drauger and frostbite spiders, but there were also vampires who were no more welcomed by the crypt's denizens than we were. Not that the vampires had any sympathy for us. We were merely blood repositories to them and so there was that fighting as well.

"Sofi?" I asked. "Why is it that no one is ever happy to see us?"

"I'm clever and tough, you're Dragonborn, I'm beautiful and a great lover, they're jealous," she replied.

"You used to be beautiful, clever, and tough," I mused. "When did you turn into a great lover?"

"Do I have to explain that to you?" she asked.

Then we found ourselves in new architecture we had never seen before in all our wanderings through Skyrim. There was yet another fight with vampires and their thralls and there we were, in the center of a giant central plaza with a single stone carved post and on top of it was a button to be pushed.

We stared at the button for a moment.

"You going to push it?" she asked.

"You don't want to?" I asked. "Were you not complaining in the last crypt that I was hogging all the button pushing?"

"When have I ever complained that you were hogging all the button pushing?" argued Sofia. "It's mostly pulled chains and turning handles and picking locks. I don't recall the last button we pushed if any! But since we are on the subject of complaining, where is all the Alto Wine these days?"

"The last bandit lair had nothing but empty bottles, remember?"

"Oh yeah, bastards, drinking it all before we got there. Kind of wish they were all alive again so we could kill them a second time, you know?"

"Okay then," I said. "I'll push this button." When it came down to it there was just something a little creepy about the entire situation and I was slightly hesitant and needed a little 'this is what we're fighting for' pick me up. "For a kiss," I finished.

Sofia let out one of those world weary 'I'm so put upon sighs' and came up and promptly administered the treatment. Now being kissed by Sofia, there is quite frankly nothing in the world like it. I have never gotten tired of her style. She just really knows how to do the buck me up sort of kiss. There's nothing demure about her application. It's a full open mouth tickle the tonsils with the tongue tip sort of kissing which has covered a host of 'she's waking up crabby and hung over this morning' moments with her. So naturally I was ready to take on the world and with a dramatic twirl of my entire frame and a lifting up on high palm open expression, I slammed down on that button full throttle.

When we have dinner parties, this is the point where Sofia attempts to duplicate the expression on my face exactly a half second later. Jarl Elisif always giggles when she does it while Falk cringes and Sybille has this little grin and asks just how much blood there was that was spilled. My sister blushes slightly but we'll get to her eventually. Sofia has never gotten tired of laughing over that expression of mine. And if you want to know what it looked like? Ask her. I am not in the mood to relate it.

I never imagined spikes came in that large of a size and one of them had run right through my palm. Sofia, to her credit, was decent enough to wait a few hours before she started laughing at the expression which had been on my face when I saw that spike rise a full foot above the palm it had just punctured. Even to this day that hand is still a little stiff on cold mornings, which being this is Skyrim are nearly every single day.

Needless to say, we ignored the blue light magic which was floating all over the place for a few moments. Once my hand had been the recipient of sufficient restoration magic, we started the process of figuring out the next stage of the puzzle. That consisted of pushing these fonts to appropriate places in the plaza forming a pattern which did not seem to possess any in depth significance. Then when the last font was pushed into place, there was more magic, the plaza sank around the central pillar and there was a stone tower which had obviously been made to hold something.

We just looked at that stone hexagonal pillar for a moment.

"After what happened a few moments ago," mused Sofia. "If we opened that and Mehruns Dagon came out and killed us, I would not be particularly surprised." She paused. "So if you want to wait a moment before you open it, I'll understand." She paused again. "Do you want another kiss first?" Yet a further pause. "If you get killed can you first tell me where you put the mead in your backpack?"

One of the charms, and irritations of Sofia is not that she has these random thoughts which flit through her head on a constant basis. We all have those. What makes Sofia Sofia is that she frequently expresses them out loud such as when Jarl Elisif was appointing me Thane a few weeks later and in the middle of the investment ceremony Sofia asked rather loudly who it was standing near to her who happened to be suffering from a case of flatulence. Now she didn't use such intellectual language, she made references to the process by which cheese may be served in slices, and to the style of Black Hand Assassins, silent and deadly.

So I found the means by which the stone covering slid down and there was Serana, unconscious for a brief moment, falling out of this vertical column and me catching her so her head landed next to my shoulder, and open throat. Her eyes opened immediately and I got to look into that deep glowing red while Sofia began with an "Oh my," then added a rather crude descriptor of our loving making, and then ended with an appeal to the God Stendar. She makes these curious appeals when she is totally unnerved.

So in my mind, there was no reason why the vampire Serana would not have immediately latched on to my throat. The fact that she didn't is really the chief reason why I didn't shiv her shortly thereafter.

At this point you should be caught up back to the tent where Sofia and I were making love. Well we've finished now and it's not the sort of thing that frankly is any of your business so we were back to just laying there, with Sofia looking very relaxed and content and me reminding her that she wasn't the only one who thought she was the most beautiful woman in Skyrim, I was firmly of that opinion as well and why replace her for a vampire who was only half as pretty and capable of administering the most deadly hickey known to man? Sofia simply smiled and gazed into my eyes, which of course I was more than happy to gaze back at. We do that a lot after we make love.

There was the crunch of snow outside, a flap of the tent cover, and the sounds of someone crawling into the tent.

"I know I should be grateful for all the help you've given me so far," came Serana's voice. "But it would help me if we didn't travel all day. The sun, it's so bright. How can you stand it?"

"It's not bright for us Serana," I said. I paused. "Don't you remember playing in it when you were a child?"

There was silence.

"That was ages ago," came the sigh. "I barely remember my childhood. I know I had one. And I think I was happy during it." More silence.

Sofia gave me one of those 'she's a monster she's not supposed to have a happy childhood' sort of looks. I gave her a 'we'd better get dressed even though I really like holding your naked body next to mine' sort of looks back. She then gave me a 'the feeling's mutual especially because you make me feel warm and safe and secure when you do it and my old boyfriend never did that for me' sort of look. Yeah, we give each other looks a lot. We then started to work our way back into our undergarments and clothes.

"We might as well start to travel, Serana," I said. "We're both awake."

"Having a hard time sleeping?" came Serana's voice.

"Yeah," sighed Sofia. She gave me a curved two finger gesture which suggested a pair of fangs sinking into her throat while making a "I'm dying" facial expression.

It took us a while to pack up because it was still dark, the moons had set, and when I would ask Serana where something was, since I presumed her night vision would be superior to anything I or Sofi could possess, she, with typical woman's expressiveness, would say 'over there' and not bother to actually point where it was, or 'right by you' without mentioning that it was behind me for example. If anyone happens to know a woman who can say "it's over there by the big rock next to the fire" or "it's right behind you just turn and look down by your feet" please let me know so I can hire her to teach Sofi and Serana communication skills?

Packed up we set out towards Solitude. Serana's description of her home was almost as vague as her comments on the locations of our camping gear. "It's on an island west of Solitude," she said. There are of course several islands west of Solitude, one of them is known as Summerset, which is also west of Anvil and Stross M'kai which are on the western coast of Tamriel. You might point out that Serana probably meant something closer and my response is how would you know? All I knew was that it wasn't around Morrowind. So I presumed that Solitude was going to be a bit out of the way but I wanted to unload some of our plunder and transform that into gold. And besides, I had a surprise for Sofia in Solitude and I was no longer willing to wait for some adventuring business to take us there.

We proceeded down the road towards Dragon Bridge. And after a few moments of silence, Serana, wanting to get to know us better, proceeded to start asking Sofia questions.

"So, how long have you two been together?"

"Since mid First Seed," was Sofia's reply.

"How long have you been lovers?"

"That's kind of hard to explain? He wanted me but I was convinced he didn't, then we woke up married and he was being really nice about it, as far as it's possible for a guy to be nice?"

"Yeah I know all about that," suggested Serana. "Wait! You said you woke up married? How do you wake up married?"

"You party with Sanguine when you don't know you're partying with Sanguine, and there you are, in Markarth's temple of Dibella, in their nuptial chamber, naked, with this really pretty ring on your finger, the wedding dress in a pile on the floor next to the bed, and you have his stuff dribbling out from . . .

"I think that's all I need to know," suggested Serana.

"Damn it, I keep talking longer than I should," sighed Sofia.

"So when did you decide to love him back, if it wasn't . . . When you woke up married, or was it?"

"Oh, well it was like when you start to drink Honningbrew and it reminds you of Black Briar but tastes better so you have another bottle and you're not sure so you have another one to see if it really is just as good, and since it is, you have another bottle and it's good enough to celebrate with so you drink a couple more bottles and then you're flat on your back? And you really want to pull him on top of you but you're still in the tavern and everyone is staring at you and that would be pretty awkward?"

"I'm not sure I get the analogy," sighed Serana.

"Well it helped that he was up to my standards, being Dragonborn and a friend of Jarls with a house carl who is a bit bitchy but since Valentine says she's not as pretty as me I've decided to stop suggesting he kill her when she isn't expecting it. But also he just kept doing nice things to me and didn't run screaming when I did the sort of things that guys normally run screaming from."

"I kind of understand that," agreed Serana. "I have to be really careful when I see a guy that's looking really sweet and handsome. If I walk up and smile and they almost always turn and walk the other way."

"I can't imagine why they would," lied Sofia.

"I can," replied Serana. "But it was sweet of you to lie like that."

Sofia sighed.

"But back to the thing that guys run screaming from, what was it about Valentine?"

"He wasn't like my last boyfriend. The one who dumped me after I gained a couple of inches around the waist."

"He dumped you because you gained a bit of weight?"

"Sort of, there was a bit more to it but that was one of the reasons. I was really upset," continued Sofia.

"It's always emotional," agreed Serana.

"I always miss the guys I break up with," added Sofia.

"Yeah after all that investment in the relationship . . ."

"I need to learn to aim better with my bow," finished Sofia.

"Ah," mused Serana.

"So, what's it like having a pair of fangs?"

"Sofia? You are the first person to ever ask me that, I'm not sure what I should say."

"You mean I asked that out loud?"

"Yes."

"Damn it."

Serana laughed. "You are so refreshing," she said. "I spent so much of my time with family and courtiers who never would say exactly what they were thinking. So, what's it like having molars?"

"I dunno. They're just part of me, it's not like I bite myself or anything with them."

"Same here, they're just part of me."

"Can I see them?"

"Hmmm?"

"I've seen vampire teeth before, but only when I was trying to kill the vampire and they were snarling at me or such. Um, I'm sort of curious in a strictly scientific way if you get my meaning so this isn't some sort of creepy girl on girl action . . . Although you aren't bad looking . . . I'll just shut up now."

I paused, shook my head, and turned around and there was Serana, standing with her head slightly tilted back, her mouth wide open while Sofia looked at her teeth.

"There are grooves in the back of them," observed Sofia.

"Well, yes, that's how we are able to draw the blood up. If they were just round? We would have to stop biting and remove them to suck the blood up. By having that channel in the back, the blood just flows up as we swallow."

Sofia paused and looked at me with a bit of wide eyed wonder and pointed to Serana's open mouth.

"It's okay," I said. "You don't mind Serana?" I continued.

"How do I explain it? It feels like I'm a kid with my playmates. I don't mind."

She had a point. There was just something childlike and innocent (outside of her awkward assurances that she wasn't a Lesbian) about what Sofia had just done with her. Like when Aurelian, my half-brother, and I were kids and we would compare our hands with dad's.

"It makes sense," I mused as we continued to walk. "Down in the Black Marsh area there are bats which eat blood. They are of course called vampire bats. They bite, but then they lick the blood that oozes from the wound while their saliva acts to keep the blood from coagulating.

"That's why it's really hard to get all the blood I want from a corpse," sighed Serana. "Once the person is dead their blood starts to coagulate very quickly afterwards and you can't draw it up. It's why I always preferred being an adventurer. I could count on having foes to fight and I could drink them as part of my defeating them. That's one of the reasons why I'm not looking forward to going home. All that's there are the cattle."

"You don't like cow's blood?" asked Sofia.

Serana just looked at her. And Sofia's eyes got wide for a moment. But I began to think. Serana wasn't just holding on to her humanity, she was actively adjusting her life along specific lines in order to maintain it. It was a very good sign. We were passing Morthal to the north and it looked as if we would make Dragon's Bridge before it got too late. But in order to make Dragon's Bridge, we would be walking through the day. I looked towards the east. The sky was just beginning to brighten up behind all the mountains.

"Serana?" I said looking at her. "I think we need a bit of a plan in order to get you to your family estate."

"How so?"

"Well, you mentioned the sun bugs you, which I don't find surprising since I thought you all crumbled into dust when the sunlight hit you."

"It does some," admitted Serana. "But it depends on the branch of Vampires. I'm a Daughter of Coldharbor. It's not good for my skin if you know what I mean. I sunburn almost immediately and it just gets worse from there. And it's like walking in very blazing white light. But if I have enough to drink first, I can get through it."

I nodded. "So here's the problem Serana." I continued. "Sofia and I, being normal people, have a harder time seeing at night than we do at day, and you have just confessed having a harder time seeing in the day than the night."

Serana nodded.

"And as a team, we all have to look out for each other. So what I am thinking we need to do is pull our twelve hours travel from twelve to twelve. The feed back I need from you is this, do you prefer traveling from Noon to Midnight or from Midnight to Noon?"

"Midnight to Noon," replied Serana. "If we have fights, the blood provides swift relief from the sun, so the closer to the day I drink, the better since the relief lasts longer."

"Next question," I proceeded. "Animal blood. Does it meet your nutrition needs?"

"It can," she replied. "But it takes a lot more blood and animals are harder to drink from."

"No surprise there," I observed. "But I've got something to help with that."

"You do?" she asked.

I raised my right hand and let a greenish glow form. "Calm spell," I answered. "Seems to work on every animal we will encounter except dragons. Has gotten us out of a few jams such as when we walk into a pack of Frostbite Spiders."

"I don't eat spiders," replied Serana.

"I don't like eating them myself either," I replied.

"Valentine?" gasped Sofia. "You have eaten spiders?"

"It was when I was in this Khajiit village on the border of Cyrodiil," I explained.

"Before they all went Elsweyr," giggled Sofia. "Get it? Else Where?"

"They were teaching me these curious purr songs and so when the time for dinner showed up, I joined them in the inn and they served me what I thought tasted like crab legs. They told me they were spider legs, but I don't like crab legs so naturally I don't like spider legs either. So what animals do you prefer Serana?"

"Why do you ask? I'm sure there will be a few more bandits . . ."

"Not once we get to Dragon's Bridge," I replied. "Jarl Elisif has really cracked down and I dare say there are hardly any bandits on the road to Solitude from Dragons Bridge."

"There was that one cave on the north shore," observed Sofia.

"Defining word being was," I replied. "We already took them out."

"I got so upset when their headquarters burst into flames from our fire-bolts and all that Colovian Brandy exploded and just blew the roof off. I thought I was going to cry," sighed Sofia. "I hate seeing good drink wasted like that."

"Yeah I know that feeling," sighed Serana. "There was this really cute guy skinny dipping under the moonlight in the Karth river once."

"Oh?" asked Sofia with a bit of a giggle.

"And his shoulders were so broad that even his muscles had muscles. So I really wanted to sink my teeth into him."

"And?" continued Sofia.

"So I walked up to the shore, waited for him to notice me, we chatted for a moment and then when the moonlight came out from behind the clouds, I unfastened my dress and let it fall to my ankles and asked him if I could join him? And he said 'Shor's bones, you are most welcome . . ."

"And?"

"That's when all those slaughterfish got him," sighed Serana. "Such a waste."

"You really do understand," mused Sofia.

I just kept looking straight ahead. The two girls continued to chat, with Sofia becoming more and more adjusted to Serana. I had to admit she was a polite girl and there was something so mundane about her behavior, especially the part about how she wasn't getting along with her father. What was it with girl's and their fathers? I got along fine with my dad. My mother on the other hand, but we don't need to replay that. Then the transition from dawn to daylight came and there was a brief 'ow!' from Serana as the sky made that shift from fuzzy blue to bright blue and the shadows from the mountains to the south of us became firm and distinct. I turned around and she was pulling her hood down over her face. I turned back around and saw ahead, three nice big bucks. I held up my hand and the girls behind me stopped.

"What?" asked Sofia.

"I think I have an idea," I said. "Serana? You hungry?"

"More thirsty than hungry," she replied. "Why? Are there bandits ahead?"

"Nice big buck deer," I replied. "Let's see if this works."

I cast a fury spell upon the one buck looking at us. It's one of the lowest and least powerful illusion spells out there, but it has it's uses. The idea I had worked, the creature charged us, it's head lowered and it's antlers pointed straight at me.

"Hold!" I said as I heard spells being activated behind me.

The deer came forward at full throttle and at the last moment I managed to get the calm spell off and the deer came to a sudden standstill with our nose tips almost touching.

Then Sofia's fireball went off in my face.

I am not sure how long I was on the ground but when I came to Serana was busy wiping her mouth off and getting up from the dead buck while Sofia was sitting next to me with a rather peeved look on her face.

"About time you got up," she said.

"I said 'hold' for a reason," I snapped.

"Like I was going to let that animal hurt you?" she shot back. "The only horny dear around here that's gonna get to do any penetrating is you and that's only with me."

"I had it under control!" I insisted getting up and feeling my face for any burns. Like most fireballs, it was more explosive than fire and so thanks to the fact that I had enchanted a ring with fire resistance, given the occasion dragon attack, it had not hurt me so much as blown me back.

"Um," offered Serana. "Thanks for breakfast."

"And don't you ever go calling Serana, dear again!"

"I didn't call Serana, dear!"

"Yes you did. I heard it, you said 'Nice big buck, dear!'"

"That was nice big buck deer! As in four footed male member of the deer species?"

"We can start walking if you like?" suggested Serana.

"You think I don't know the difference between dear and deer?" retorted Sofia. "Well think again!"

"Well you obviously don't if you think I'm going to call a woman I just pulled out of a thousand year sleep, dear, especially after spending the last two months of my life on one oblivion filled emotional storm fest trying to prove to you that I love you!" I argued.

"This is getting somewhat awkward," advised Serana.

"And that's just it!" shouted Sofia. "You're already suggesting she's a sleeping beauty!"

"Like oblivion I am!"

"If you're going to argue about me, can we at least do it in the shade?" asked Serana.

"The roving eyes of men!" snorted Sofia throwing her hands up.

I was about to embark on yet another long winded explanation of how I found Sofia way prettier than Serana when it dawned on me that Serana was standing right there. I looked at her. Then Sofia looked at her. Serana tried to look at the rim of her hood.

"Damn it," sighed Sofia.

"You'll like us once you get used to us," I suggested to Serana.

"I can hardly wait," replied Serana in a very polite sounding tone.

I started walking forward again and in a moment, as it was clear to Sofia that I wasn't going to stay and continue the argument, she fell in. Serana was quiet for a while. We passed the road north to Morthal and began to descend down a set of hills. Then there was that first brief breath of warm air which suggested we were leaving one of the chill zones of Skyrim and the snow began to show signs it was melting. We crossed a bridge and were in clear tundra and woodland while the sky overhead became increasingly overcast.

"Nice weather," mused Serana. I turned back and she had a slight smile on her face. I couldn't see her eyes as her hood was pulled down low. But I got the impression that because the sun was now behind clouds, she was experiencing less discomfort.

"Can you see where you're going?" I asked.

"I can see the road right in front of me," replied Serana. "I follow the sounds of your footsteps. Your's sound like you know where you're going."

"Oh?"

"I'm not sure about Sofia's. She's made three types of noises while walking. The first set was a sort of skipping, then after breakfast, a sort of hard slap, and now, half slap half walk, half tired shuffle."

"You owe me a foot rub tonight," suggested Sofia. "We've been walking since we left the Dawnguard on the border of Morrowind."

"Yes dear," I replied.

"He just up and agrees?" exclaimed Serana surprised.

"Why not? He loves me. This is what he does to prove it," replied Sofia. Her tone suggested she had decided to forgive me. Not that I had actually done anything but this is Sofia we're talking about.

"And so I take advantage of it," finished Sofia.

Like I said, this is Sofia we are talking about.

"Foot rubs, shoulder rubs, back scratches, full body rub downs, and then my favorite . . ."

"You don't have to elaborate further," advised Serana.

"You sure? He has really great fingernails which scratch all those extra itchy spots and. . . "

"I was recollecting how dad hardly did anything to show he loved mom when they were still speaking," sighed Serana proceeding in her determined decision to return to the original subject for reasons I could entirely sympathize with. "Now that I think of it, I don't remember a thing."

"Yeah," sighed Sofia. She proceeded to relate her own parents backstory, of which I have already related since it was what we talked about on the wagon ride to the Thalmor Embassy. Needless to say, the two girls proceeded to comment at length upon their anguish over their parents but I noticed something different between the two. Sofia and Serana both remembered when their parents loved each other, though Serana's memory was clearly a bit more hazy on it. But where as Sofia had gotten increasingly angry as her parents had drifted apart, Serana had become more grieving.

I couldn't help but muse on my situation. I figured I had to be lucky. My dad insisted on loving my mother even though she had tried to kill the son of his first wife. For that reason he had not locked her up in the dungeons of the Imperial City, but had kept her locked up in the attic of our Temple District Town House. And he had slept up there every night, trusting Aurelian, my half-brother, with the key. Oh she howled about being locked up, and no doubt took it out on him routinely. But he would simply suggest she might prefer the dungeons and she would be silent for a few days after that. She knew what she had done. But dad had always told me that marriage was for better or worse and mom was going through a worse phase. She would get over it at some point he was certain. But just the same, leaving so she couldn't twist me up over time was a wise thing and he hoped someday he would be able to send a message that it would be okay to come home. I had sent him a letter telling him I had met and married Sofia and hoped some day that he could meet her. Of course I didn't tell him that I hoped she would be a little more settled down before that happened nor did I give him the full account of the circumstances of how we had ended up married.

"I'm still curious about how you two met," continued Serana.

"Well, I remember how I first noticed Valentine," began Sofia.

I had never heard this. I was going to pretend that I was nowhere near the two of them, not that I was being noticed. When those two started to really talk, it was as if I was nowhere in sight. I had no problem with that, you never know what you'll find out when you sit quietly behind a pack of women chatting.

"There was this thief in Rorikstead, named Lokir . . ."

I had to press my jaw from bursting into a very vocal surprise. I remembered Lokir very well.

" . . . And of course he was totally smitten by me being that the only female in the town which had won any sort of prize for being good looking was a goat named Gleda. So I decided to let him buy me drinks one night and it ended with us deciding to steal a pair of horses from the local Whiterun Patrol."

Sofia was entirely lost in the story and all the while for some silly reason or another my heart was beating rapidly. Maybe it was because I was about to find out how long she had been watching me from a distance before we met.

" . . . We rode south even though we were going to sell them in Hammerfell since any pursuit would need to be lost thinking we were heading into Cyrodiil. And being that he was your typical rude Nord guy, he was always riding ahead which I really didn't mind because that meant he would run into the guards first. But what he ran into first was this really good looking guy well dressed and clearly educated riding up from Bruma."

I couldn't help but smile. I knew who that good looking guy was.

"And so I didn't catch up, but stayed just out of earshot and eyeshot because I figured if I rode up Lokir would immediately act like I was his and this new guy was obviously going to be able to buy me more drinks. So naturally I decided to wait until I could find him by himself and turn on the feminine wiles?"

"He's pretending he's not listening," observed Serana.

"He's not a good actor," replied Sofia. "Anyway the nice thing about hanging behind and just following from a distance is when the two of them stumble into an Imperial ambush just as the Stormcloaks run into it as well, you are able to watch from a distance and laugh."

I tried not to roll my eye and exhale my annoyance.

"So I watched them change into their prison rags and get into that wagon. I rode up to the rear guard which was behind the wagon which was behind them, and put on my cute and innocent face and said, "Wow, you guys are really nice and brave and strong? Where are you going to stop so I can get to know you better?" And of course they said they were heading for Helgen where they were going to meet up with General Tullius. So I said, "I can hardly wait" and rode off to Helgen."

I spent a few seconds struggling to see if I could recall any woman riding by the caravan on a horse. And I couldn't. But then again, my head was pounding and only be keeping my eyes closed and trying to sleep had I been able to get through that day of riding. There would have been nothing in the sound of her horses hooves which would have distinguished them from the other horse hooves in the caravan. I sighed to myself. The woman I was going to fall in love with had ridden by my wagon, probably cast a glance at me while she rode by, and I had not seen her. It was kind of like when I had woken up only to discover that I had married her and not had any memory of it.

"I had a nice day drinking and then when they came in, I got up on the inn balcony and watched them all get ready for execution. I was a bit upset about that because there was my next sugar daddy being taken to the chopping block. And you know? He looked like he was being brave. He said something or another but all I could hear was when he shouted 'I live and breath a Stormcloak' and then he walked over to the block and put his head on it himself."

"Sounds impressive," observed Serana.

"It was," agreed Sofia. "Of course this was before I had actually gotten to know him. That changes your perspective. But I will confess my heart was beating rather passionately there for a moment. But then that dragon attacked. I saw him and one of the Stormcloaks head into the tower right next to the inn while I was busy grabbing all the mead I could and then I got out of the Inn and headed for the gate. I turned around and there he was again, but he ran in another direction with an Imperial and I wasn't going to chase him. I was kind of clinking a lot with all the bottles in my backpack and that sort of thing really doesn't impress a guy. They either think you are a drunk or an alchemist and when you can't give them a potion to improve their manhood, which they will always ask for, they conclude you are a drunk."

I was of course listening very intently. Sofia was being Sofia of course, but at the same time, it was kind of fun to listen to knowing she had been there in Helgen watching me.

"So I got out of Helgen and got up on a rock formation where I was able to watch the dragon blow the town up and since I had all that mead in my backpack, I figured a few bottles could be drunk and so when the dragon left and I turned around, there he was again with a Stormcloak heading towards Riverwood. I followed behind quietly and once they got there, it didn't take long before the scuttlebutt at the inn was that Gerder had asked him to head to Whiterun as soon as he could to let the Jarl know. Well he was busy working around the town doing odd jobs and errands, and that's really boring to watch and besides, I figured if he met me in Whiterun he would be less inclined to think I had been in Helgen. So I rode to Whiterun, did my cute and innocent act pretending that I had just found this horse on the road and did anyone know who owned it? Of course the captain was more than happy to inform me that it belonged to the Whiterun Guard and the Jarl himself would be happy to reward me. I got all excited and happy and of course the next thing I know he was getting me drinks at the inn and before long everyone, but especially that gullible Bard Michael were getting me everything I could ask for."

"And how long did this last?" queried Serana.

"I kind of lost track that evening and the next couple of days kind of fly by. You know how it is when you're having fun. Somewhere during that time I lost my clothes, distracted the guard so that a thief escaped, nearly killed two guys because I was walking around with no clothes on, so I never got rewarded by the Jarl, and I ended up sleeping in the stable next to that horse I had stolen in Rorikstead and wouldn't you know it, here comes Valentine asking me so politely, with this little boy smile on his face, if he might have some of the hay I was sleeping on."

Sofia stopped right there. I smiled to myself. She wasn't going to admit she was totally caught by surprise when I had showed up and proceeded to practically burble out that she had been following me for a while.

Serana, with a tone in her voice that suggested a certain ironic amusement, observed, "So you two met because you were stalking him."

"No it wasn't like I was stalking him or anything," insisted Sofia.

"Sofia," continued Serana, as I turned around to note that there was this little grin on her face. "When you are acting like a vampire, don't expect a vampire to not notice."

"I was not acting like a vampire," insisted Sofia.

"She has a point Sofi," I intruded. It was an appropriate juncture to do so. "She plays polite and friendly to get blood, you play sweet and lovable to get mead. Not much difference save Serana remains sober and dressed at the end of it."

Sofia was quiet for a moment.

"I'll have to show you some of my tricks," suggested Serana, looking back at Sofia.

Sofia paused for a second opened mouthed, then leaned forward, half covered her mouth with her left hand, and giggled.

I turned back and shook my head. I also noted that Serana had not denied the obvious suggestion that she had, by being polite and friendly to us, gotten fed. That of course made me wonder if she was putting the thrall spell upon us. I double cast dispel magic on myself, failed to note any difference in my thinking, and accordingly concluded that she had not been using that power on us. She was literally being just polite and friendly. Sofia and she were back to chatting about girl stuff. Serana wanted to know what the fashions were in Skyrim this season as well as some of the favorite songs and Sofia was singing them in her rich alto voice, and getting the words totally wrong. I had to admit, we both were starting to like this two fanged blood sucking young woman. There was something so refreshing about a vampire being just honest with us and herself.

This was going to be one of the more interesting adventures I was about to have.


	12. Chapter 12 - A Song For Solitude

"The guards of Skyrim are a miserable bunch. We fight wolves, sabre cats, bears, bandits, necromancers, conjurers, drauger, and dragons and they complain about a single arrow in the knee," grumbled Sofia. She drained an entire mug of mead to make herself feel better about that, then signaled to the waitress to bring another bottle and with a grace which come from long practice, made the necessary feminine hand gestures which let that waitress know I was the one who was buying.

"I can agree that is rather unimpressive," sympathized Serana. "You would think guards would be a bit more tough." She took a delicate sip of the mead in her mug. She could still taste mead and drank it for the taste, as well as enabling her to 'blend in' with the crowd. But she also revealed that it neither got her drunk nor gave her any nutritional benefits. Sofia thought that was very tragic and said so.

I wasn't paying much attention to their chatting. Outside of Serana telling me that she had gotten more blood from all the deer I had pulled into us than she could recall drinking in ages and thanking me for it, I had been drifting in and out of the conversation in the Four Shields Inn at Dragon Bridge. We had arrived there early afternoon and Sofia and I had sung for three hours and had gotten a room for the three of us. Three single beds of course since it would have been somewhat awkward, not to mention tacky, to be sleeping with Sofia while Serana was in the room with us.

So what was I doing then? I was composing a song. There was something just plain crazy about the situation and it lent itself to the creative process. The song was going something like this . . .

I chanced upon two black haired girls,  
I thought I'd try my luck,  
With bright eyes and such charming smiles,  
The sort you'ld love to . . .

No, that wasn't going to work . . .

I chanced upon two raven girls,  
A pair straight out of dreams . . .

What rhymes with dreams? Seems? Beams? Deems? Screams? No that won't work either. Well? With Serana being a vampire screaming could be part of it but . . . no.

"Would you look at this?" came a new voice, the sort of guy's voice which suggested trouble. "What's a milk drinker doing with two beautiful young women at his table? Seems to me he needs to share."

And with that a blond haired fellow with a pointed knotted beard, wearing hide armor, which exposed his huge biceps and chest muscles, sat down in the chair between Serana and Sofia.

"I doubt you'll mind," he said with a smile. There was a predator gleam in his eyes. "Not that you could really stop me if you did, being that you are in the sort of clothing which suggests you don't fight much. And you're an Imperial with two Nord girls. Naturally they would prefer me, but I'll let you keep one, at least this night!"

And he laughed.

Sofia looked at me and there was a mischievous look in her face that ticked me off just a little, but I reeled in the emotions just to see what it was she was thinking.

"Oh I don't know," she said with a sigh and looked at him with wide open eyes. "I've not gotten much mead tonight and it takes a few drinks before I can feel romantic enough to know if I like the guy or not."

I sighed and began to roll my eyes.

"He's being cheap with his money, eh?" laughed the Nord.

Now all this time I was busy assessing the potential for combat. I had no intention of letting that bastard lay a finger on Sofia. The question was what sort of spell combo would be needed. He would be resistant to cold so it would be fire. Maybe a good slow spell after my stoneflesh followed up by a shout . . . No, couldn't do the shout I'd throw some innocents around and there was a family eating at the next table.

"You can't have this one," said Serana looking at Sofia. "I'm tired of you playing that hard to get game that reels them in like spent fish. This one is mine."

"No need to fight over me," chuckled the Nord. "I'm big enough for the two of you together."

"Oh?" queried Sofia looking belligerently at Serana.

"Yes," replied Serana. "You're only in it for the mead. You'll bankrupt him like you have every other sucker we've taken and leave him broke and frustrated. I'm in the mood for a good ride and this boy might almost be good enough for me." She looked at the Nord with just a bit of a smile on her features. I say just a bit because she was keeping the lips quite closed.

"Might be good enough?" snorted the Nord. He was focused entirely on Serana now and Sofia looked at me and rolled her eyes. "You think I don't measure up to your lover qualifications? You haven't seen my throbbing manhood in action. You'll be screaming before I'm done with you."

"Big words," mocked Serana. She had her hands folded in front of her mouth. She gave the impression of a bored girl who was looking to amuse herself for a bit with a little radical adventure. "Me screaming? That will be something new. I'll exhaust you long before you get me there."

I was amazed at how softly she said these words. There was such a calm quality to them. It was clear that she'd pulled this stunt before. She was posturing herself so as to hide the fact that she had fangs when she spoke. Sofia was likewise catching on and casting nervous glances both at me and at Serana. But one thing she did not do, was try to draw his attention back to herself.

"So you think you're a wildcat eh?" he replied to Serana. "I'll tame you soon enough."

"Then why are you still sitting here?" she asked. "Show me where you plan on taming me and when we get there I'll show you just how weak you really are."

He stood up, so did she, and he walked out with her behind him. At the last moment she looked back at Sofia and winked.

Sofia just sat there for a moment with her mouth and eyes both wide open. Then she looked at me.

"I know we should have warned him. And I know I really should be feeling sorry for that guy, but I'm kind of torn. He so deserves what's coming to him."

"I'm having a hard time too," I said. "I didn't like the game you started playing with him."

"I figured I'd drink him under the table," she said.

"You have no way of knowing you could do that," I snapped. "And you were acting as if you were single and unclaimed."

"Valentine," sighed Sofia. "I hated that guy. He was ugly. And I know my tolerance level. I know I'd have drunk him under the table."

"But I would have had to sit here and listen to his insults the entire time," I replied. "And this wasn't the place to blast his face off with a fire bolt."

Sofia sat and looked at me for a moment. There was a little ah ha light that went on in her eyes.

"You're right," she said. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I forget that you're always there for me. This marriage thing, it takes some getting used to. I had guys like that around my fingers for so long . . ."

I smiled. "That's the first time you've said you were sorry for anything," I observed.

"No," she said correcting me. "I said I was sorry in Riften, though that wasn't to you. And this time you didn't have to throw me around first to get me to do it." She paused for a moment. "Speaking of throwing me around, what do you say you try to tame me some place nice and dark?"

"There are a few clefts between here and that hidden Stormcloak camp," I observed. "I think we have a good chance at not bumping into Serana and her . . . umm. . . date?"

"But all we really have to do is push two beds together in our room," argued Sofia. "Not that we'll be needing one of them a few moments after we get in."

"But what happens when Serana gets back?" I asked.

"We can be pretty quick when I'm feeling buzzed like right now," suggested Sofia.

I shook my head. "I don't want to make Serana feel awkward or embarrassed," I said. "Let's slip outside too."

Sofia sighed. "I want to be in a bed."

I shook my head.

"Fine! Forget I said anything!" she snapped. She stood up and walked into our room and somewhat slammed the door behind her. Apparently there would be no taming tonight for me. I watched her go and just exhaled for a moment. Oh well, tomorrow might we would be in Solitude and there was a surprise there which would make up for tonight. I leaned back and mused more on the song I was writing. It took me another half an hour or so but this is how it came out.

I chanced upon two winsome girls,  
The sort that men do dream of,  
With flashing eyes and raven hair,  
Who make you think of true love,

And so I smiled and sang them songs,  
On such are hopes so fed,  
For I so hoped to win their love,  
And one then I would wed.

The first she had such sapphire eyes,  
The sort that make hearts bleed,  
And it was with such happy sighs,  
That I did ply the mead.

And she did smile and she did drink,  
But my hopes and dreams were sunk,  
For it turned out, her only loves,  
Were the bottles she had drunk.

The second had such ruby eyes,  
I thought to try my luck,  
She had her own and favored drink,  
The blood which she would suck.

And so on her I pressed my suit,  
But my hopes and dreams were smitten,  
For it turned out, her only loves,  
Were necks that she had bitten.

And so I stay alone and lost,  
My tears are but a flood,  
For both those girls have more than cost,  
In both my gold and blood.

Nothing remotely like a classic, but it had the ring of truth to it, at least to me. And it was good for a laugh in the taverns. Problem was, could I sing it around Sofia and Serana without them getting annoyed. Especially Sofia who would immediately get huffy given that the song was about a guy who was in love with both of them. Oh well.

Serana walked in at this point and came over to the table possessing a cat who swallowed the canary demeanor.

"You didn't drain him dry did you?"

She shook her head.

"I was tempted. He really was rude and obnoxious," she said. "And he only got worse as we walked out of town. But I left him very weak and in a ditch and with a whisper that if he was infected, he needed to visit the temple in Solitude." She looked about. "Where's Sofia?"

"I'm afraid I annoyed her and she went to bed early," I replied. "So how long before the townsfolk show up with torches and pitchforks?"

Serana nodded and seemed to think on it for a moment. "Probably not until later tomorrow," she speculated. "He will have to crawl a great deal to get to someone that will help him at first, and then will his ego allow him to admit that he was completely taken in?"

"We'll pull out at midnight," I concluded.

"I thought we were going to do that anyway."

"Right!" I said. "I had forgotten. Okay, let's get to bed then."

"The two of us?"

"You in your bed, me in mine," I said somewhat taken aback.

Serana smiled mischievously. "Your wife's slips of the tongue have amused me all day. I couldn't resist. But just so you know, the only reason why I would want to go to bed with anyone would be to sink my teeth into them. And it would be rather rude of me to do that to you and Sofia. Especially you however. Sofia strikes me as rather possessive, not to mention jealous. And she would not hesitate to kill anyone who came between her and you."

"That she would."

"She loves you, you know. She just has a very self-centered way of showing it."

"You seem to be very adept at reading people," I observed.

"When you have lived as long as I have. When you have had to endure all that I have. And when your survival depends on knowing who and who not to trust, you pick up a few things," she answered.

I nodded. "I'll be frank," I added. "I feel very odd trusting a vampire."

"I can believe that," she replied. "And I really appreciate it, especially now when I have no idea what awaits me at home."

And with that we walked into the room. Sofia was already asleep and snoring. And shortly thereafter, so was I.

It was Serana who woke us up around midnight. Well to be frank, she woke up Sofia first and Sofia saw those two glowing eyes and shrieked which woke me up with fire on my fingertips which caused Serana to say "Just me!" and we panted for a moment before we got dressed and stepped back out into the common room, which still had a handful of patrons left.

"You are leaving early," suggested the barkeep. There was a hint of suspicion in her voice. She had no doubt heard Sofia scream.

"I have a surprise for my wife in Solitude," I explained looking at Sofia who was still a bit too hungover to do anything other than scrunch her face a bit. And it looks best just as the sun is hovering over the eastern waters.

"So you hope to arrive after dawn?" she queried.

"Yes, I said. "Why are you asking?"

"There is a rumor of a vampire attack earlier this evening. The fellow was found by the road moaning about a glowing eyed monster whom he met in this tavern.

"Sure it wasn't a bad batch of mead?" I asked.

"The mead here is really good," objected Sofia. "It couldn't be that."

Serana sighed and I silently restrained myself from stomping on a set of rather cute and feminine toes.

"Anyway, since vampires don't like the sun, I was just checking," continued the Barkeep.

"Ah," I said. "Good idea, everyone knows vampires will do everything they can to avoid standing in the sun."

"So true," mused Serana quietly. She had put her hood up before we had left the room so the barkeep couldn't see her eyes.

And so we walked out of the Four Shields Inn and turned east to head up the road to Solitude. As soon as we were out of town Serana pulled her hood back down and looked up at the stars and hummed happy tunes for a moment. Sofia, still a bit hung over let out one of her 'comfort me or else' whimpers and I gave her a one armed hug and handed her my water canteen for the occasional sip which helped offset the aches which came from the dehydration effects of all the mead she had drunk. It was a while, and a few gulps, before she said something.

"Water," she moaned. "I swear you are trying to poison me with this stuff."

"It's good for you," I suggested.

"I don't want it to be good for me," she grumbled.

"Not my problem," came Serana's soft and gentle voice.

"That's right," groaned Sofia. "Just rub it in."

"I could turn you if you wished," suggested Serana.

"And give up mead?" exclaimed Sofia.

"No more hangovers," added Serana.

"But I couldn't stand out in the sun and look pretty any more," sighed Sofia.

"But you would look pretty in the moonlight," suggested Serana.

"You wouldn't enjoy making love any more," I added.

"I don't enjoy that anyway," objected Sofia.

"YOU DO WITH ME!" I snapped.

"Oh that's right!" she exclaimed. "With you it's actually relaxing and nice. I keep forgetting you're not Horsa, my old boyfriend."

"I can't argue with that one," admitted Serana.

"How can you possibly confuse me with Horsa?" I argued, tossing my hands in the air.

"Well like him you're loud, obnoxious, you never wash, you can't keep your hands off me . . ."

"Never mind . . ." I sighed.

It was at this point that the sun broke through the dawn's mist and Serana winced. I did not begrudge it for once, for Sofia saw the wince as well and that acted to sober her up.

"It was sweet of you to offer," finished Sofia. "Because I suspect you don't offer to turn everyone you meet. But I think I would lose too much."

"It's okay," sighed Serana. "I just like the two of you and it's one of the ways we express our gratitude."

"You do?" asked Sofia. "How did we manage to do that?"

"You're the sort of couple that makes me laugh when you interact. I've not felt happy in a long time, but with you, I can almost feel it again."

Everyone got quiet again. Especially when we passed a Thalmor team who were escorting a prisoner towards their embassy.

"Oh how nice," muttered Sofia. "Thalmor taking someone away. Maybe I should take off my clothes and distract them so he can escape?"

"It's rather cold today," I suggested. I figured that would discourage her better than my over all objections to any lack of modesty on her part. I was rather possessive of that outstanding vista she possessed bereft of garments and I was not in the mood to share with anyone.

"Yeah," she sighed. "We'll have to kill some later."

"I take it no one would object if I fed on Thalmor?" queried Serana.

"Not in Skyrim," I replied. "They are in part the reason why things are so messed up here."

"So this isn't just something special for you, it's the whole countryside," mused Serana. "Not very often a vampire gets to be patriotic doing what comes natural to them."

"Sons and Daughters of Skyrim, arise!  
Unplug your ears and open your eyes!"

I sang out.

"I don't recall that song," observed Sofia.

"I just made it up," I explained.

"Oh, not much to it then. No surprise there."

"I love you too dear," I replied.

We started to climb the hill.

"Khajiit caravan encampment," observed Sofia looking at the base of the tower we were approaching.

"I'll have to see if they have moon sugar," I replied. "Make some more Elsweyr fondue."

"You'll need ale too," mused Sofia.

"I have ale in my backpack."

"Funny you should mention that . . ." she began. "I was trying to find out where you had put those extra Magicka potions?"

"Never mind," I sighed.

The Khajiit did have moon sugar, so I purchased five bowls which annoyed Sofia in part because for the same amount I could have gotten 150 bottles of Honningbrew mead. It was one of those interesting talents she had, the ability to determine in an instant how many bottles of mead anything happened to be worth.

We walked in through the gates of Solitude and found ourselves in the plaza in front of the gates. We passed the Winking Skeever to our left.

"I don't see what's so special about Solitude," sighed Sofia. "The first time we walk in someone is getting their head chopped off. But I remember the last time we were here. I got so drunk I couldn't pronounce my I's properly and they came off sounding more like A's. I got so many strange looks when I was asking about the Winking Skeever. And there you were the whole time, putting your hand on your forehead and shaking your head."

"I've got a little work if you're interested traveler," suggested a rather laid back argonian who was leaning against the ramp heading up to the raised part of the town. He was watching us pass.

"That must be pretty interesting work you are offering," observed Sofia. "You have been offering the same job now for the past two months."

We walked under the archway and got on the street towards the Blue Palace.

"Don't tell me we're going to pay the Jarl our respects," groaned Sofia.

I turned left, and walked up a set of stairs, then turned right and came up to a door.

"Valentine?" asked Sofia. She remembered I had shown her this house before.

I put the key in the lock and opened the door to Proudspire Manor.

"Valentine?" she asked again. Her mouth was beginning to open as I leaned over and scooped her up.

"Put me down! Serana is staring! You're being embarrassing!"

And with that I carried her over the threshold. I put her down again and stepped back while she looked around. Falk had seen to it that things had been put properly in. The house was clean, and the furnishings were all as I had specified. For 40,000 septims, it had better be. I had pretty much spent everything we had earned to get this house.

"Valentine?"

"It's ours," I said. "I made the financial transfers to Falk the last time we came through and that was the message that courier gave me that I tossed into the fire before you could read it."

"It's nice," offered Serana. "And I like the fact that the windows are frosted. Not only do you have privacy, you don't have sunlight directly streaming in either. Is there a basement?"

I pointed ahead. "The stairs are there," I said.

"Excuse me," said Serana. "I have to check out the basement."

Sofia was quietly walking about. She was looking at the dining area and kitchen area. This was a girl who had spent her life in caves and on the road. Her opinion of this house had originally been, "An exorbitant rate for a house which you can only get for sucking up to a weak willed Jarl."

But now that it was hers, and grander than anything she had ever known in her life, there was a silence of shock, misbelief, and just a little childlike golly gee in her expression.

"Come upstairs," I said. She quietly stood there so I reached over, took her hand and led her up the stairs the balcony lounge which looked over the lower level. Then I showed her two doors. I opened the one in my left. "This is the children's room," I said.

It was of course fairly large and furnished with the usual storage and containers, but there was a crib under a window. And that's when she lost it. I had never been more tightly squeezed by her and all the while she just cried. I was not surprised because I had seen this in her before. Was she crying for the daughter she had aborted? Was she crying because she had a guy who was going to be there for her next child? Was she crying because she now had a home when all she had had prior had been caves and inns? I didn't know, but it was nice to be able to just hold her. After a moment she looked up at me and I wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"Let me show you our bedroom," I offered.

I led her into the next door on the right. It was a grand room, filled with cupboards and chests and a safe in the corner. And then there was the bed.

"A mattress and real pillows," sighed Sofia. "Blankets and sheets." She looked at me. "Lets have a party at . . . Our House!"

"Sofi?" I observed. "It's not even noon yet."

"Go get that spiced wine!" she insisted. "Get a case! We're going to have a real party! Now!"

It was at this point that there was a knock at the door.

"Go get it!" insisted Sofia. "And if they're selling mead, buy it, if not, tell them to go to oblivion."

Shaking my head and exhaling a sigh or two I went down the stairs and opened the door. There was Viarmo and Lisette, and behind them, the rest of the Bardic College. There were food baskets and bottles of mead.

"Welcome to Solitude!" they cried.

"Nice to see a fellow Bard in this house," added Viarmo. "Every so often the college needs to entertain some very important people and if there's a spare bedroom in Proudspire . . ."

"My wife would kill you," I suggested with a smile. "But wait until she's drunk before approaching her with the idea. She might be more amenable provided the guest is not particularly female."

"Did you kick them out yet?" shouted Sofia from upstairs.

"It's the party guests!" I shouted back, thinking very quickly.

Sofa leaned over the balcony. The Bardic college waved.

"It's mead!" she cried. And I could hear her feet slapping the stone stairs as she scampered down.

"Where are the mugs! We have to PARTY!"

There was yet another knock on the door. I opened it up and there was Jarl Elisif, Falk, and Sybille with another big basket of fine cheeses and sausages and a case of Spiced Wine.

"Welcome to Solitude!" they cried.

"Come in," I said. "The wife is in the mood to celebrate since this is the first house she's ever owned."

"Oh my," mused Jarl Elisif. "You mean she was poor before she met you?"

I nodded. "She lived in caves after she left home," I added.

"Well she was at the college for a little while," recalled Lisette. "I don't think Giraud ever deciphered that book she brought back from that tomb."

"I think I've figured out the code," argued Giraud. "I just need a little more time."

I kept my mouth shut. Sofia had told me about her stay in the college and how the book she had brought back was nothing but a bunch of scribbles. It was one of her practical jokes.

"So she's never had a home she could call her own?" continued Elisif.

I shook my head.

"I'll have to show her etiquette then, teach her how to be a right proper lady and wife of a future thane," and she headed over to where Sofia was busy filling glasses with mead, taste testing each bottle, several swigs per taste, as she opened them up.

"My Jarl if I might suggest," began Falk.

"Oh hush!" replied Elisif.

It was at this point that Serana came back up the stairs.

"I love your basement," she suggested. "Sorry I was so long down there but I was having fun looking at the alchemy set and enchantment equipment and noticing all the dark alcoves and thinking how much fun it would be to decorate and . . ."

Then she and Sybille noticed each other. It was one of those interesting moments. Both vampires immediately knew what the other one was.

"Allow me to introduce you," I began. "This is Sybille Stentor, the Court Wizard for Jarl Elisif and formerly High King Torygg's tutor, and this is Lady Serana Volkihar."

"What is your relation to Lord Harkon?" asked Sybille.

"He's my father," answered Serana, somewhat surprised.

Sybille's eyes widened. "He spoke of you as having disappeared ages ago, claimed his wife had killed you and buried you somewhere, swore he would track her down and kill her."

"My mother did bury me, but not kill me," explained Serana. "It was Valentine and Sofia who found where I had been buried, and brought me out of the spell my mother put me into."

"Your father had better be happy to see you then," mused Sybille.

"Did he say anything about why I had been 'taken'?" asked Serana.

"No," pondered Sybille. "It was strange." She looked at Serana a bit more. "Daughter of Coldharbor I presume?"

Serana nodded and it seemed that there was an expression of pity in Sybille's face. I made note of that. It seemed out of place.

"I was made by a Daughter of Coldharbor," said Sybille.

"2nd Generation then," observed Serana.

"You were very young when you were turned weren't you?" continued Sybille. "Would it be correct to guess sometime before you were twenty five?"

"Seventeen," sighed Serana.

Again Sybille nodded.

It was very subtle, but I sensed that there was a mutual oneupmanship going on, almost as if each were trying to demonstrate that they were the superior. I found it rather odd that two women would be engaging something which was, in my experience, more a masculine thing. Especially since I presumed that the Daughters of Coldharbor were the supreme vampires. By my thinking Sybille would be clearly number two, but there was something which she seemed to be proud of possessing which Serana apparently did not.

"Is . . . Is my father still at the family home?" asked Serana.

Sybille nodded. "You might be able to get a boat to take you there," she continued. "There are independent boaters who will take you all the way to Windhelm down at the docks by the East Empire Company warehouses. But I do hope you will come by on occasion. I would like someone to do . . . A few special things with."

Serana smiled. "I would like that," she said. "You wouldn't happen to know how to make blood potions would you?"

"Blood potions?" I queried, curious. "I didn't know such things were possible."

"How do you think I could stay in Solitude and not drain the city dry, or get burned at the stake all these years," asked Sybille looking at me.

"I don't really know," I answered truthfully. "I know almost nothing about vampire lore, Serana is the first vampire I have spent sufficient time with to know as a companion."

I almost said, 'trusted' but I knew that Sybille would take that as an insult. It's not that I did not trust Sybille, it's just that I really had not been in any circumstance where I had to trust her. Our relationship up to this point had been strictly business, the purchase of spells, the selling of minor enchanted items I had made, the occasional foray into some deep dark cave to finish off some more predator vampires. It made sense for Sybille since it kept the common folk from panicking and coming for Sybille with torches and pitchforks. I likewise did not wish to say friend, since my relationship with Sybille had gotten a bit closer than just a mutual business partnership. Serana however, seemed pleased that I referred to her as a companion.

"I want to learn how to make these potions," I said. "So Serana will know she has something to eat when she comes to visit. But Serana, I can take you to the docks and ship you off in the morning if you like."

"Could . . . Could you come with me?" she asked. "I would just feel better having someone with me up to the point I meet my father again."

"Sofia and I will do that," I promised.

A pair of lutes began to be played, and we turned to watch some of the students of the bardic college begin to sing and perform. For the rest of the day, there was music, singing, drinking, eating, and laughing. I had never seen Sofia so happy. I had seen her so drunk, but never so happy. What ever goal Jarl Elisif had in teaching Sofia how to be 'civilized' it looked as if more of Sofia had rubbed off on Elisif than Sofia. Elisif got almost as drunk by mid-afternoon and Falk was more than a little nervous as a result. I finally told Falk that we would, if necessary, put Elisif up for the night so she would not stagger into the palace and set the rumor mongering ablaze. Elisif however, recognizing that she had taken in too much, stopped drinking near sunset and by judicious eating, with a little help from Falk who advised her on her state, began to sober up. As the sun set, Sybille and Serana began to whisper in the corner and shortly thereafter they departed into the night. I decided I wasn't going to press the matter to closely as to what they were doing. I only hoped who ever their target was, was deserving. As I was looking out the door watching them walk off Falk came up to me and slapped me on the shoulder and said, "Nothing to worry about. There is a murderer which is scheduled for execution. Sybille normally takes care of those. Tonight I think she's going to . . . share."

"Does he know how he is going to die?" I asked.

"Sybille waits until they are asleep, and then strikes. The bed in the prison is placed so she can approach him from either side. He'll never know what hit him. All he knows is that he will be executed within the week."

"I wonder how much blood there is in a man that has to be taken before you die," I mused.

"I don't know how much loss it takes to kill you. But Sybille told me there are between eight and twelve gallons in a person," answered Falk.

"What?!" I gasped. "Serana nearly took a guy out on the way up here. Not even Sofia can put away that much, and believe me she has tried. I don't even think she could drink more than a gallon or two. Of course with Sofi we're talking mead not blood."

"I don't try to understand it either," admitted Falk. "There is something both evil and supernatural about it. Only a few of them can ever remain . . . human."

"I admit that I am really torn," I confessed looking at Falk. "On one hand, every vampire we meet in the field is a predator, and not at all unworthy of a violent death at my hands. But Serana and Sybille . . . They refuse to follow the stereotype. They are not, shall we say, entirely filled with the milk of human kindness. But at the same time, I can tolerate their condition. Should I be worried about that?"

It suddenly dawned on me that I had phrased that last sentence just like Sofia would phrase it. She really did have a habit of rubbing off of people. But then again, this was the woman I was, for reasons I still have a hard time adequately defining, madly in love with.

"Jarl Elisif and I had the same discussion once," answered Falk. "She was terrified of Sybille, even though Torygg trusted Sybille with his life."

"No surprise there," I mused. "She did after all raise him. When you have a nanny who loves you when you are little and always takes care that your little boo boos from play are washed and bandaged and kissed to make better, you don't care that she's cool to the touch, has glowing eyes, and really cool looking teeth. I imagine he was rather shocked when he got old enough to realize that Sybille was in fact a vampire."

"Rather amusing story that one," chuckled Falk.

"Better get ourselves some more mead," I suggested, "And let's retire to the porch so we can smell the sea breeze. Besides, the Bards are singing Ragnir the Red in four part harmony and I hate that song." It took me the whole four part harmony version to get the two mugs filled. But then just as the bards wrapped up, Sofia jumped in.

"I once met a big lug called Ragnar the Red,"  
As I went a walking through old Rorikstead,  
And I kicked in his teeth with a boot to his head,  
When he said I was slutty and we should abed,  
But then I went quiet and thought deeply then,  
And suggested that there was good mead in the inn,  
And I promised I'd like him and he'd be my thane,  
For the mugs we would empty and bottles we'd drain,  
Then I walked out of town and I've seen him no more,  
He was drunk off his duff and asleep on the floor!"

"Well that's a new set of lyrics," mused Falk.

"I never ceased to be amazed at how skillfully Sofi can mix up the words of a popular song and keep in the harmony of it," I added. "But I think we can all agree that what ever happens to Ragnar the Red is completely deserved."

We retired to the porch and looked out over the Sea of Ghosts.

"I have dreamed of having this house ever since I had a chance to look it over," I sighed leaning on the balcony which overlooked the cliffs that fell to the ocean beneath. "I can't believe that I was able to make that dream come true in just under two months."

The drums where thumping through the closed heavy oak door and I could hear the slapping of feet. Folks were dancing now. It was good to be able to do this for people. I wondered if there could be any way to make another bedroom. I was thinking there would need to be an alcove with a nice coffin for Serana . . . At least until she got cured. I was hoping that would be how it would end.

"So you said there was a story about how King Torygg reacted when he realized that Sybille was a vampire," I mused.

Falk looked over the balcony at the sea with me and sighed.

Sybille recalls it with both humor and pain. For Torygg was only twelve and he came up to her and said, "Nanny Sibbie? Is it true you are an evil vampire?"

"How did she respond," I asked.

"She got very quiet for a moment, and then she took Torygg into her lap and she said, 'Tory? Do I love you?' And he said, 'Yes Nanny, you do'. And so she asked him, 'Would an evil person love you like I do?' and he said, 'No Nanny, they wouldn't.' 'Then what do you think?' she asked him."

"And he concluded she wasn't evil," I mused. "Well handled on her part, true and to the point at the same time. Just the same, why hasn't she sought a cure?"

"You can live forever, or die," answered Falk. "Some people don't have the courage to face up to that fear of death. For all her magic and knowledge and skill? She's terrified of getting old and dying. She won't seek a cure until she's tired of living. And that might never happen."

"Well, nobody ever wants to die," I mused. "But Sovengard is supposed to be a better place. And at the same time, to see Sofia get old and die while I remain young and strong. To know I could never have children with her? She's probably pregnant. Her period is running really late. We won't know for sure for another month or two, at least I think it will take that long, but for now?"

"It's a heavy price to pay for immortality," agreed Falk. "The moon and the stars, do they burn our skin?" he gestured to the night sky, filled with blue northern lights.

"Well what can you expect from a Daedric Lord," I observed. "Of course even that is a stereotype. After all, what fault can any one find with Meridia?"

"Nothing is entirely simple is it?" sighed Falk.

We were quiet for a bit and the dancing went on inside. We walked back into the house a little bit later. Serana was no where to be seen, neither was Sybille. Elisif was laughing with Giraud who was entertaining her with historical anecdotes of some of the more eccentric Jarls of Solitude. Viarmo was in an argument with Inge over whether or not a ten string lute was practical.

"Did you just call me fat?" cried out Sofia somewhere in the crowd. "Well at least I don't look like a whore . . . ker . . . And yes I did say horker."

I closed in on my wife.

"Your wife sounds a bit drunk," suggested Falk who was just behind me.

"It's her natural state," I replied.

"Right!" continued Sofia somewhere behind a couple more bards. "that does it. I challenge you to a fist fight. The loser has to become my personal slave."

I caught up to her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders allowing Aia, one of the students at the college, to make a graceful escape. She looked up at me over her shoulder.

"Having fun?" I asked.

"Have you seen my dance?" she asked. "Let me show you. I just know you're gonna love it."

"What?" I asked. Sofia stepped out of my embrace swayed a bit and then started to collapse onto the floor. I was able to step forward and catch her, half up, with her legs splayed out and her feet resting upon by floor by her heels.

"Will you stop embarrassing me?" she slurred. "Everyone is looking at us. It must be you. It couldn't possibly be me."

"I think the mistress of the house has worn herself out entertaining us," suggested Jarl Elisif most tactfully.

"Let me put her to bed and I'll see you all out," I replied.

Everyone nodded and I managed to carry Sofia up to our bedroom while folks chatted and laughed down stairs. Placing her on our bed, I went back down and stood at the door saying goodbye to everyone and thanking them for all the food and drink and promising that as soon as we had a free evening again, we would repeat this. It was, everyone agreed, a great house warming party. Spontaneous events usually are. For a brief moment, I felt like I was back in the Imperial City, with mom and dad, saying goodbye to the guests after a wonderful evening. But there was none of my family there. It was just a little sad. But, I had a new family starting. My own. I walked upstairs and walked into our bedroom. I lit a candle so that I might see where to put my clothes and I heard a little giggle. I turned to look at Sofia, and then just stood there gazing.

"Oh what happened to all my clothes?" she queried with a silly smile. "I think I must have accidentally lost them. What a shame."

She was almost where I had laid her, and she was utterly entrancing. There was that heavy lidded expression on her face, the sort that you get when you're drunk, but on her, at this juncture, in the dim candlelight, there was simply something so damned sensual about it I just stood there drinking it in with my eyes. And then it hit me, she was almost in the exact same posture that she had been when I had first seen her asleep on that hay pile in Whiterun's stable. Of course that night she was wearing underwear.

"You are so beautiful," I whispered.

"I know," she replied. "What can I say? It must be so hard for other people being so inferior to me."

I didn't care, I got into bed and pulled her into my embrace.

"All those jealous guys knowing I've got you forever," I whispered.

"Normally," she giggled. "I like to kill my victims after I seduce them. But you're so good in bed I think I'll spare you this time so I can do this again with you sometime."

So we made love and fell asleep in each others arms after a wonderful friend filled day in our very own house. I was liking this part of our present adventure.


	13. Chapter 13 - A Song For Volkihar

"Oh my head," whined Sofia. "Head rub . . . Now!"

I sighed, stretched, rolled over from my side of the bed, and started to work on massaging her temples on this, our first morning in our new home. There was a soft light coming in through the windows. Since they were frosted glass, there was no direct sunbeam, rather a glow which suffused the entire bedroom. Sofia closed her eyes while I gently rubbed her head just above that spot between her ears and eyes. It was somewhat exhausting on the hands because she was laying down and so was I, but . . . Well what can I say? I loved this woman and I had not reached that point where this babying of her after she had drunk herself into a stupor for the umpteenth time was the cause of a snappy retort on the evils of drinking too much. There were other things she did which resulted in snappy retorts, but as some great general once said, one battle at a time please.

Of course there were some benefits to this little exercise, at least today. She was after all still naked from last night and I was not at all shy about admiring her entire body. Or at least that part of it which was not covered by the sheet and comforter. To alleviate some of that covering, I scratched her back with one hand while I massaged her head with the other and of course much of the coverings managed to get gently pushed down a bit leaving me with a much nicer view. Sofia's response was to make little grunts of happiness since she suffered one of those persistent plagues that married women are prone to catching routinely, specifically the itchy back, usually right between the shoulder blades.

After a few more moments, she spoke again.

"Valentine?" she sighed. "Make me your wonderful hangover remedy."

I got up and stretched, pulled my short clothes back on, wrapped the rest of me in a nice long quilted robe, slipped a pair of sandals on my feet, leaned over and gave her a kiss on her cheek since I had learned she would yelp if I kissed her forehead while in the midst of a hangover, and headed to the alchemy table in the basement. It was a half basement really. You could access the main street of Solitude by the south side door, but otherwise it was mostly sunken into the rocky outcropping which marked this part of the city. As I reached the bottom, I noted there was a pair of boots sticking out from the alcove. The toes were pointed up. I leaned in and there was Serana, laid out like a corpse. Which, upon reflecting, seemed the natural pose for her. There was one variation, Rather than her hands crossed over her chest, they were folded upon her belly. But otherwise, she was simply on the floor, perfectly still and silent. I then wondered if I had remembered to lock the doors last night, or if she had one of those ancient vampire powers which would enable her to enter a home without detection. I could have been upset that she had 'broken in' but I was actually quite glad that she had taken the initiative to find her way in without interrupting either our love making or sleep. Besides, if some thief had been busy watching her slip in, she would have been more than delighted at his slipping in afterwards. Something about a trustworthy vampire asleep in the basement which covers quite a number of insecurities. I suspected that was one of the reasons why Torygg remained faithful to Sybille all these years as well.

I gently stepped over the boots and walked into the next room and remembered that this was the enchanting room. The alchemy room was the next one over, across from the house carl bedroom. I would have liked it to be a guest bedroom, but Elisif had made it clear that I was to be formerly installed as a Thane in a couple of weeks and a house carl would be assigned to me. That would have to be the house carl's room. And I will freely admit that I requested a fat dumb dumpy looking guy so Sofia would not be jealous and Elisif observed that while her guard was full of such men meeting those qualifications, she suffered from an obsession that demanded her house carls be of sterling character and as a consequence, she only had one available to give me, and that was a woman, young, trim, with blond hair well cut and combed by the name of Jordis.

"Does she understand that her life expectancy is going to be greatly shortened when Sofia meets her?" I asked the Jarl.

"I shall warn her on that count," sighed Elisif.

I sighed. Two house carls, both women, Lydia and Jordis, a wife named Sofia, and now a buddy vampire named Serana. I was beginning to suspect my life was being directed by a producer of Akaviri harem comedies. All the while I was busy grinding out the various herbs into powders for the liquid concoction which would clear Sofia's head and enable her to spring into action.

"Boo!" said Serana right into my ear. And when I say right next to my ear, I mean RIGHT next to my ear. She could have taken her eight gallons off of me before I would have known what hit me.

To say I jumped and threw the contents up and against the wall while my arms flailed would be an understatement. I took a second to pant while Serana giggled.

"Okay," I said turning around, struggling between annoyance, relief, and at the same time amusement at the friendship the playful gesture suggested. "I take it that's your idea of a practical joke?"

"Pretty much," she admitted. "I was all nice and comfortable sleeping the morning away when the scent of really strong, life filled, sweet, and masculine blood assails my nostrils and I hear you walking by me, being so nice as to tip toe around me. And then you head over to the alchemy set and start making something. I was curious so I thought I would see if I could slip up silently behind you."

I got over and began to pick things up. I was pleased to observe that she was helping to clean up.

"I'm making a hangover remedy for Sofia," I explained.

"I don't know how to make one of those," admitted Serana carefully refilling one of the bowls with powder I had already made and spilled. "I've never needed one. At least for as long as I remember. I don't recall how much we drank wine or mead . . . Before the ceremony."

"What was that ceremony like?" I asked.

"It was . . . degrading," sighed Serana. "Let's not revisit that."

"No problem," I said. Given what I knew of Molog Bal, I was entirely unsurprised. "Let me finish this now. Later today I'm going to put together blood potions based on the recipe Sybille gave me last night before you two slipped off to fill the fair city of Solitude with ghostly terror."

I started the process again. There would be a bit of dust mixed into the concoction but what Sofia didn't know wouldn't hurt her. I hated wasting herbal powders.

"So, speaking of filling the town with terror, how was your night with Sybille?" I continued.

"She was fun," answered Serana. "She showed me all the nooks and crannies and we scared a few teenage couples trying to make out in them. Glowing eyes have all sorts of uses you never realize until you experiment. Then later in the evening, after everyone had gone to bed, she took me into the Palace dungeon and we shared a murderer who was supposed to be executed sometime within the week. We made a game of it. We didn't try to get into the Palace until after all the doors and windows were locked, then we slipped in to the palace, and the into the prison and took him out before anyone knew we were there. It was entertaining as well as good practice."

"I was wondering how you got into the house then," I replied.

"Oh?" queried Serana. "That. You left the main door unlocked. I would have knocked otherwise, once the sun had come up so as to not wake you earlier. Before Sybille and I left, I could smell a very heavy concentration of mead in Sofia's blood and I figured she would probably be very hungover this morning. But once I knew that the main door was unlocked and given a choice between a nice cool basement floor to rest upon or stand in that damned sun, well I suppose you understand my decision making process."

"Yeah," I said, pouring the water into the mixture and beginning to stir it up on the heater. It needed to be nice and thick and spicy so that the first blow would come when the stuff first hit the tongue. "It's really the reason why we like you Serana, and it also saved your life."

"Oh?"

"When you fell out of your sarcophagus, your head landed right by my neck. One instant later your eyes open up and I see that ruby glow and know I'm holding a vampire in my arms. The fact that you had not latched on was what saved you."

"I remember," She mused. "I was hit with that wonderful smell of your blood and something in the back of my head said 'wait!'. It had been so long since I had drunk but I wasn't sure what the situation was." She crossed her arms, leaned back a little and then with a certain defiant expression said, "But do you really think I wouldn't have left you a husk like I nearly did that big boy in Dragon's Bridge?"

I smiled back. "You've seen me and Sofia fight," I replied. "And we've seen you fight. You forget, while you had me in a death grip, Sofia was just two feet and four seconds from a knife across your throat. And she wouldn't have asked if it was a vampire biting me or just a grateful girl kissing my neck. Both would have unleashed the murder in her."

"Yeah, that would have put a crimp in my day," she mused. "Funny, worshipping daedric lords does not teach you discipline. But it really did save my life there. But how does my simply slipping into your house, coupled with discipline, be the reason why you like me?"

"It's not that you slipped into the house," I replied. "It's that you were honest enough to admit why you did it. You've never been anything other than honest with us Serana. You have no illusions about who you are or why you do things. It tells us we can trust you, and that is essential right now. Because there is something about that Elder Scroll on your back that is setting off all sorts of alarms in my head."

Serana nodded. "So I take it we're looking for a boat today?"

"Yes, we're looking today, but once we get that taken care of, there are things to secure and pack, so we'll be here at least another day it not two. There is a guest bedroom right behind me. That's yours for the duration, and I'll have a key made for you as well so you can get in and out of the house while we're here. You'll just be sure to give it back before we go.

"You won't mind if I prefer sleeping on the floor? That's what I was doing these past thousand years."

"You are free to use the guest bedroom for what ever you so desire," I said. "Provided I don't start finding the corpses of beggars in the corner."

"Oh Val," sighed Serana as we started walking back upstairs. "Can't a girl have little fun around here?"

"No," I said suppressing a smile.

"You're such a meanie," she suggested. She paused and turned away as we got to the bedroom door and I walked in.

Sofia drank the remedy, shouted out the "Whoo!" as it hit her and cleared her sinuses. Then she got out of bed, and gave me a nice long embrace, told me I was a life saver, made several other suggestive proposals, which were rather appropriate given she was entirely bereft of clothing, and then started to get dressed while I went back downstairs and set about making a breakfast. What I found interesting was the Serana began to watch me cook with an intense curiosity. I found this eccentric until I remembered that vampires don't cook their meals. This was simply too good to pass up, so I began a running commentary on the cooking process as if I were busy entertaining and educating an audience. Serana began to smile, then giggle, and then when I got to the process by which sausage is put upon bread with cheese, while Sofia was walking in wondering what was so funny, she found a comment I made so humorous she burst out laughing and her head tilted back and we both got a good and slightly unnerving look at those two long and sharp pearly whites of hers. As Sofia later recalled, it gave the term 'a nice pair' a whole new meaning.

"You really should think about making that a show of some sort," Serana suggested as I put the plate of good honest nutrition in front of Sofia, making sure all her favorites were on top.

"Nah," I said. "Like anyone would watch a show where some guy cooks something."

"Seriously Serana," added Sofia nibbling her cheese with a little smile on her face. She knew I had made sure her favorites were generously piled upon the plate. "Dragonborn Chef?"

"Well I think it was funny," insisted Serana. Then she sighed. "I've missed laughter."

Sofia reached over and gave her shoulder a squeeze. Then handed her a slice of sage stuffed pork sausage. Serana took it and sniffed it. Then she nibbled it a little. "I remember," she mused. "I used to love sausage once upon a time." She finished it out of politeness, but Sofia and I both knew she had lost her appetite for that.

The rest of the day was pretty set. We found a small boat where the fellow would sail us to the island where Serana's family was located. Apparently it was quite the landmark and every shipper knew where it was . . . and avoided it with a passion. To sail too close was bad luck they said. He was willing, for 500 Septims. I offered him an additional 500 to wait until we came back out so he could bring us back. He agreed, doing the math and thinking all three of us would be returning; a conclusion I really wanted him to make. If the place was bad luck, something happened on occasion to make sailors think that and I had no doubt what that something was. If he thought he was dropping Serana off, he just might think he wasn't coming back either. Accordingly there was a week of food for the two of us, plenty of healing and magicka potions, a good half a dozen cure disease potions, repaired and refitted armor for Sofia, newly made and enchanted rings and necklaces, for I had gotten somewhat adequate at making jewelry and then enchanting it. I still couldn't make a steel helmet to save my life, but gold and silver ruby rings were routine. And then we went into Angeline's Aromatics and got the ingredients for blood potions. The major product in the blood potion was elk's blood, with a generous addition of various other herbal additives to both preserve the blood, taste good (f0r a vampire anyway, tasted horribly salty to me), and give them their daily requirements of vitamins and minerals for a good balanced nutritional breakfast. While Angeline did not have Elk's Blood, she did have the other ingredients. Of course Serana observed that she never felt full after drinking one and I observed that given we had seen her drain several bandits or a 500 pound deer in a single setting, I was surprised she ever felt full. She had no argument for that and said so. We spent a quiet evening at home while Serana entertained us with stories of what Tamriel was like when the Akaviri were an actual political power and Cyrodil was filled with Elven kingdoms. I tried to get her to recall a few songs she would have sung, and she admitted she could not remember any. So I played a few tunes for her and Sofia on my lute before we went to bed. Serana was sitting out on the porch when Sofia and I left her. I did not ask her about the remainder of the night. She came up from the basement when she heard us making breakfast and that was as far as we broached that subject.

That was the day we went elk hunting, which did not turn out to be particularly troublesome. Once again, fury spells, followed by calm spells settled the elk long enough for us to cut an appropriate vein near the surface of the animal and get a good share of blood out of the creature before a quick little heal spell sealed up the cut and we sent the animal on it's merry way. Well not necessarily merry, I didn't know how much an elk would miss a gallon of blood, but they seemed to survive. After we had collected twenty gallons; well, twenty four after taking into account Serana's sipping on the sly, a habit she was no doubt either came already equipped with, or one she had rapidly picked up from Sofia, we returned. From there it was grinding up the herbs and mixing it all together. Sofia of course grumbled about all the grinding she had to do, and she then proceeded to insist it was herbal grinding she was talking about and not that other grinding which our dirty minds were no doubt thinking about. Of course Serana and I looked at each other, and cast knowing glances in Sofia's direction. We poured the blood potions into cup sized bottles, that being eight ounces each, and that gave us 160 of them. Being potions were a valuable asset to any long term adventure jaunt, I pulled out another item I had crafted once upon a time, a leather potion case which fit inside your backpack and protected a total of 32 potions somewhat adequately. Thus Serana had a nice selection of blood potions to get her to her father's house, live for a few days without needing to resort to the 'cattle', and the reminder I put in a cupboard in the basement next to the alcove where Serana had first laid herself out and that she took as a 'come anytime and stay awhile' gesture which she was more than appreciative of.

By then it was evening and we went upstairs and Serana sat and chatted with Sofia while she and I made supper. Then putting one of the alcove blood potions in her wine glass, she sipped it while we ate. Then Sofia had an idea, took some of her wine, and poured a bit into Serana's glass and asked her how that tasted when mixed with the potion. Serana agreed it was nice. But she didn't get drunk, much to Sofia's disappointment but not mine. I had this nightmare of a drunk Serana nibbling on everyone in sight. Even so there was a rather interesting exchange after supper.

"I'm going out for a walk," announced Serana. "This is the first time I have ever been able to visit this town and outside of Sybelle's tour, I've not had the chance to explore. You could see the outline of Solitude from my father's balcony and the town has proven to be everything I imagined it to be. I had heard how big the windmill was but never got a chance to see it for myself. And we're going first thing tomorrow morning, right? So this is my last chance."

"No nom noms on the locals now," I suggested with a big of good natured kidding in my tone. Just the same I was just a little concerned.

"Don't worry Val, I'll be a good little vampire girl," she replied with a slight smile.

"But Serana," I observed. "A good little vampire girl could mean you'll slip into someone's neck and slip out again with out anyone being the wiser."

"How very true," she answered and stepped out the front door.

"She's sweet, she's nice, and we can trust her in so far as our necks are concerned," sighed Sofia. "But if I found a young man dead in our basement a week from now?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Just the same, I suspect she's hoping on sleeping through the day tomorrow."

"I wonder what Serana would do in the evening by herself if we left her here in the house for a few days . . . Nope! I'm not going to go there." Sofia looked at me. "Speaking of things to do this evening."

"Yes?"

"Scratch my back, it's really itchy right now."

"Yes dear."

"Valllennntiiiine," she sighed as I commenced with the fingernails.

"I love you too," I said.

We woke up in our bed the next morning, we made love, and then we had our breakfast and headed down to the docks. We were dressed warm. Sun's Dusk was passing, the leaves were mostly gone, and while there had been a few flurries in Solitude, winter had not attacked just yet. Serana had a blood potion tucked into her belt pouch and by the time we had gotten to the docks, she had already taken two swigs from it.

"And I thought my wife could pack away the mead," I sighed.

"I'm right beside you, Valentine," Sofia snapped.

"I thought you were proud of your mead consumption talents," I retorted.

"You think I don't know what that tone suggests? I'm not a drunk. I'm just . . . a very thirsty Nord."

"It helps with the sun," answered Serana. "But it looks to be your fate to be surrounded by heavy drinkers, Val."

"Thanks," grumbled Sofia.

"Anytime," giggled Serana.

We got on board. The boat was a twenty footer sloop with a single lateen sail. It was open hulled so there would be no shelter beyond our furs which we put in a single duffle bag in the hull. While the sun was nice and warm for moment while we were still docked, once the boat had put out into the bay, but especially after we sailed under the stone arch on which Solitude was built, the chill northern wind quickly had us wrapped up. Well me and Sofia that is. Serana just sat there on the bow and watched as the ship skipped over the water and small waves.

"Ha! There's a real Nord," joked the sailor, gesturing to Serana once he had the sail trimmed to where he wanted. His name was Jolf. "She's not wrapped up in furs to keep warm like you two soft Imperials."

"I'm NORD!" insisted Sofia. "And I'm not cold. I . . . I just like the fuzzy feeling."

"With all those freckles on your cheeks?" teased Jolf. "And that thick black hair? You have imperial blood in your background I'm thinking."

Serana looked back at us and took a sip from her bottle then flashed a delicate smile.

"And if that's bloodwine?" observed Jolf grinning at Serana. "I think you need to share with a thirsty sailor."

"It's not blood _wine_," replied Serana gently. She cast a glance at me. That was my cue.

"She's a health and fitness nut," I expressed. "Tomato base with lots of herbal supplemental nutrition. She won't drink anything else and likewise won't touch meat or mead either."

"What?! No Meat? Tomato? Sounds awful! And she won't drink?"

"Mead is icky," suggested Serana softly.

Jolf was rendered speechless so Sofia, smiling, pulled a bottle of mead out from under her furs and handed it to the sailor.

"Shor's Bones!" he cried. "A Nord after my own heart!" He pulled out the cork and took a good swig. He lifted the bottle in salute and Serana likewise followed suit with hers.

"Tomato," observed Lars shaking his head. "Not a proper salute but . . . oh well."

"I'm not going to ask how many of those you managed to slip into your undergarments," I whispered into Sofia's ear. "But if we snuggle up and I start to feel like a bartender when I keep touching hard cold bottles instead of soft warm breasts . . ."

"You'll just have to behave yourself," replied Sofia.

"Still wondering how you got down here without clinking . . ." I muttered.

"I had Serana listen when I walked by," she answered. "It was when you were packing up the duffle bags."

I cast an accusing glance at Serana.

"I told you I'd be teaching her some of my tricks," replied Serana innocently.

"It's a conspiracy," I grumbled.

"Damn straight," giggled Sofia. She pulled a bottle out and commenced to take a swig from it.

"Careful girl," I chucked back. "You'll find just how adventurous it is for a girl to try to relieve herself on a rocky boat with no seat."

"You're no fun," sighed Sofia. She re-corked her bottle and sat back.

Jolf was a professional however and he pulled onto shore every four hours so that everyone would get out and find their own little tree. And so over the next few hours we sailed first east until we had reached the mouth of the Karth River and the land began to fall away.

"We need to be turning west," worried Serana.

"North wind," explained Jolf. "I prefer one tack to many."

"Tack?" asked Serana. "What has a tack to do with sailing."

"Ah a landlubber," laughed Jolf. And he proceeded to explain some of the basics to Serana. Eventually, Lars judged us to have traveled sufficiently north and east to merit a sudden turn to the west and after about another two hours, the land of Haafingar began to come up from the south. To the north was nothing but ocean and icebergs and occasional barren islands. We kept to this course for another four hours.

"There!" suddenly cried Serana. "There it is. See it? Home!"

We both looked ahead. It was in the distance, perhaps five miles away, but the castle on that spit of an island loomed large and imposing.

"That's a big one," I admitted.

"Yeah," sighed Serana. "Home sweet . . . castle."

"10 hours sailing to get here," observed Jolf. "We've been doing 10 knots the whole way."

"Impressive," I mused. I was somewhat familiar with sailing since the Nibben was a prominent feature of Cyrodiil and the Imperial City was at it's head. Everyone who was anyone had sailed on the Nibben. 10 knots was a very respectable speed for a sloop with a single lateen sail. I suspected the boat was built light. But likewise we had been given a brisk and chilly north wind the entire day. The one thing marring the entire affair was the fact that the sun was now below the horizon and we would be walking into a castle that size, filled with vampires, when they were at their strongest. I looked at Sofia and said softly, "Just after twilight."

"Yeah so?" she said out loud. But her hand sought mine and gave a panicked squeeze.

Jolf was also looking more than a little concerned.

"It's okay, Jolf," suggested Serana. "I'm just being dropped off. You can stay fifty yards off the shore once we debark until they come back."

"Your eyes are glowing red," groaned Jolf.

"It's the tomato potion," suggested Serana.

Lars looked at me.

"You haven't seen our eyes glow and we've not been drinking it," I observed.

"This place is haunted," whispered Jolf. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"It's my ancestral estate," said Serana.

"The spirits will recognize her," I added. "They might even be glad to see her. They'll leave us alone as a result."

"Shor's bones I hope you're right," muttered Jolf. "It's bad enough looking at it in the day, but to see it like this at night."

He wasn't joking, it wasn't a fun view at all. And it kept getting closer and closer as the light kept getting dimmer and dimmer. Then the small dock came into view and Jolf began to aim for it while reefing the sail so that the ship would slow down.

"I will drop you off," said Jolf. "And you can tie the end of this rope to the jetty ahead. It is 60 fathoms long and I will be at the end of it. When you come back, one of you wave a torch up and down and the other back and forth, but do not pull on the rope. If I think the spirits are pulling this boat in, I will cut the rope and leave."

I nodded, and we stepped off the boat. We left all our supplies in the hull, thus signaling to Jolf that we fully intended to return. And so with just our armor, weapons, and coats, we watched Jolf drift out farther than fifty yards, closer to 120. Then we turned and started to walk up the cobblestoned pathway, way to wide for a castle that size on an island so small. It was one of those ostentatious gestures which said, "We are so rich and powerful we can afford to waste our money." I never cared for those sorts of gestures.

"Hey, so . . . before we go in there?" began Serana.

"You okay?" I asked.

"I am. Thanks. I wanted to thank you for getting me this far. But after we get in there? I'm going to be going my own way for a while. It's not that you've been good to me. I just need to be alone, for a while. There's a lot of feelings wrapped up in this old place and I don't think you two are ready for them. I know some of your friends would probably want you to kill everything in there. I'm hoping you'll show some restraint. So let me take the lead."

I nodded just as an older voice cried out, "Lady Serana's back! Open the gates."

The portcullis rose up with a groan of old metal.

"Here we go," I sighed to Sofia. "Into the belly of the beast itself."

"Show restraint? If I'm attacked by a skeever it dies," snapped Sofia. "Five hundred vampires looking at me like I'm a frosted sweetroll? I'm running like oblivion itself were after me. Screw restraint."

We walked in and were promptly accosted by a very tall high elf vampire who acted insulted that we had the temerity to walk into the foyer. Then he cried out "Lady Serana? Is that truly you? I can not believe me eyes!"

"Evening Vingalmo," answered Serana. But Vingalmo was already walking over to the balcony where he cried out, "My Lord, Everyone! Serana has returned!"

I was busy scanning our environment. The archway was big enough that Sofia and I could conduce a fighting retreat back to the gate if need be. But if that portcullis was dropped behind us, we'd be trapped like rats. Just the same, I hoped we'd be able to take a few with us before we fell. Not that we knew how many of them were down there, but it never hurt to be prepared. As it was, Vingalmo had decided to ignore us which was, in part, a good sign, at least for the moment. How many of them down there would prove predator exclusively?

"I guess I'm expected," mused Serana.

"So those vampires we fought were looking for her," I mused to Sofia, who had taken to snuggling up next to me with her hand on her elven forged dagger. "And they came from here. And what's more, there seems to be no concern over the fact that they have not shown up with her."

"Nice deductions," whispered Sofia. "Can we run screaming now?"

A very lordly vampire was standing at the head of a u-shaped table where a great banquet was in process. Some of the people were carrying pitchers and barrels and serving them up to the vampires seated at the table while other humans were the courses themselves, quietly lying upon the tables while other vampires fed upon them. The entire room was lit by sparsely placed candles in thick silver candlesticks. The floor was well placed and fitted stone tiling, with ancient and well worn, not to mention bloodstained, carpeting. The place was somewhat shabby all in all. But once upon a time it would have been imposing. Likewise there were several of those fanged tooth hounds pacing about.

"My long lost daughter returns at last," began the lordly vampire. "I trust you have my Elder Scroll."

"After all these years, that's the first thing you ask me? Yes I have the scroll," snapped Serana.

There was an excited jabbering at the table. Apparently there was something special about the Elder Sroll.

"Of course I'm delighted to see you," he continued. "Must I really say the words aloud?"

"Yes," I whispered to myself. "If you really loved her. No what happened to you? Where have you been? I've been worried sick? No come to me my darling daughter and hug your father? At last we can be a family again?"

"Ah if only your traitor mother were here. I would let her watch this reunion before I put her head on a spike," continued the vampire. "Now tell me, who are these two strangers you have brought into our hall?"

"These are my saviors," Serana said. "The one's who freed me, made me feel welcome in their home, and came with me to see to my safe return." She gestured to us. "This is Valentine and Sofia Florian," she said. Then she gestured to the lord. "This is my father, Harkon."

I nodded in acknowledgement.

"For my daughter's safe return, you have my gratitude," he said, facing us. "By now she will have told you what we are."

"Indeed she has, My Lord," I replied nodding. "A most noble court I might add."

"For years we lived here," he said with a slight smile. Apparently my flattery had worked it's charm. "Far from the cares of the world. Until my wife stole from me that which I valued most. . . "

"Which was?" I mused silently to myself. He hadn't exactly made it clear which he was more happy to see, Serana or that scroll on her back.

". . . There is only one gift I can offer equal to the return of my daughter and the Elder Scroll. I offer you my blood, take it and walk as a lion among sheep. Fear death no more."

"That is awfully generous of you," I replied. "Serana offered to turn my wife as well just a couple of days ago."

"Oh?" queried Harkon. He turned to Serana who nodded in agreement.

"Indeed," I continued, turning on the old Imperial charm, honed by years of rubbing elbows with the great of the Imperial City. Some older and wiser friend of my father once said that a diplomat was an honest man sent to lie for his country. A man who could tell you to go to oblivion in such a fashion that you actually looked forward to the trip. I now commenced to try to wish Harkon to the same destination with sufficient style and panache that he would promptly rush back into his bedroom to begin packing. " . . . it would be a very fine gift. But there is a tangle. For you see, the reason why my wife refused the gift is because she is with our first child and regrettably, the child would die within her if she were to become a vampire. Surely you, who have just gotten your own beautiful daughter back . . ." I seriously swear I could feel Sofia's eyes boring into the back of my skull, but I plowed on looking for some recognition in Harkon's face that yes, he had loved his daughter at one time. And for a brief instant, there it was, but something else pushed it aside rather rudely. " . . . would understand our excitement over the child. And as for me? I could no longer get my wife pregnant. And if there was one of us turned and the other not? To see your beloved grow old and withered and die and you remain living forever? That is a grief I do not wish to endure. But truthfully? Your daughter's safe return is more than sufficient for us. For we have made a friend in the process, one who is welcome at our home any time she wishes to return." And I turned and gestured to Serana. "So if you must, just a little thing will suffice," I finished.

"If you want a little thing," said Harkon, trying to remain civil in spite of the fact that he was the sort not used to being refused. "Then a little thing you shall receive. You are prey, like all the rest. I will spare your life this once, but you are banished forever from this hall." And he raised his hand and summoned the magic needed.

"Father!" snapped Serana. "At least let me say goodbye?"

"Very well," he grumbled. "My darling daughter."

"About time," I thought to myself. It says something that Sofia and I had been more considerate and friendly with a vampire than her own father, also, a vampire. And how many years had they been separated?

She walked over to Sofia first and whispered something into her ear, then leaned down and kissed Sofia's throat. At least I presume it was a kiss, Sofia looked at me rather surprised and slightly unnerved. But then Serana walked up, and likewise whispered in my ear. "It's what we do with mortals we care about," and kissed me also on my throat. There wasn't even the hint of teeth, merely cold lips.

The moment she backed up Harkon cried out, "You Are Banished!" and there was the release of energy and we found ourselves on the shoreline. We could spy the rope tied to the jetty where out there rather far away, Jolf was seated with his boat. We lit our torches, and commenced to wave them in the pattern Jolf had requested. It seemed like forever before we could see the torchlight dimly reflect off the prow and foam of the advancing craft. But he pulled up, we got in, not particularly slowly either, and he set off with more than a little enthusiasm.

"Did," began Jolf. "Did the spirits accept her?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Not as nicely as should have been, but they accepted her. Us? They kicked us out once we said we wished to remain among the living."

"Shor's bones," muttered Jolf. "To have to witness such an eerie unnatural thing like that."

"It was such a touching family reunion," sighed Sofia. "The only thing needed to make it perfect was a sick bucket for me to vomit into."

We snuggled down into the boat, wrapped up in our firs and watched the northern lights above, flicker green and white.

"We'll have to stop soon," said Jolf. "I can't sail forever. But there's an alcove in a rocky island a few miles ahead where we can camp for the night and rest safe."

"Good," I said. "We have our own camping gear so we'll be fine."

"Well this alcove does not have a beach," sighed Jolf. "It just gives the boat shelter. You'll have to sleep in the hull."

I nodded while Sofia sighed. She gave me the sort of look which suggested that a nice love making session wrapped up in our camping furs would have made things a bit more tolerable. But as it was, we all snuggled up with Jolf sleeping in our spare furs down a few feet from us. Thanks to the persistent north wind, we were able to get back to Solitude quicker since we didn't have to tack around the eastern shores of Haafinger.

And so, on a Tirdas, the 11th of Sun's Dusk, late afternoon, we were able to walk back into our house and flop down in the front foyer.

"I wish we had more comfortable chairs," sighed Sofia. "Soft and fluffy like our mattress."

"Eiderdown feather pillows and mattress," I suggested. "You won't find that in a chair anywhere I'm thinking."

"Then let's lay on the bed," she sighed. "I need to talk."

We staggered up to the bed and once again flopped down on the mattress which gave us a very soft thump noise as a greeting. We cuddled up.

"That was such a horrible place," she said. "And that was Serana's home. And I thought my family was whacked out."

"Does put things into perspective," I replied. I looked up at our ceiling. I mused on the irony of the fact that Serana's castle home had, once upon a time, been as gentile and pleasant as our abode right now. Once upon a time, Harkon and his wife would have laid upon their bed in a bedroom like this while their little daughter would have been happily bouncing upon his stomach. There would have been no darkness, or the moans of thralls feeling their life ebbing from the wounds that the vampires were feasting from. "I hate the fact that we're going to have to leave for Riften tomorrow."

"What?" cried Sofia. "Oh yeah," she recalled. "Isran . . . He's not going to like this . . . He might not even like what we did."

"Too bad," I sighed. "I think we did the right thing, in spite of the fact that Serana is a vampire and, underneath that nice personality, still a monster. There's only two things which keep me from putting her out of her misery, actually three."

"What are those?" asked Sofia.

"First, she is not yet aware she is in misery," I started with. "Second, she's still reasonable enough that at some point, we might get a cure for her," I continued. "Which will be contingent on her realizing that she is, in fact, in misery. Third? That damned Elder Scroll on her back is a trumpet blast of dire warning. There's something in that scroll which Harkon wanted. Something that entire fanged face court wanted. And what ever a mob of vampires want, isn't going to be good for little soft necks like me and thee."

"So what's to stop him now that he has the scroll?" asked Sofia. "Oh!" she added. "I can drink a bottle of mead now." And she reached underneath her bodice and pulled out yet another bottle. I did not ask how many she had stuffed into her undergarments, I suspected I would have been struggling to believe the tally.

"Well there's the fact that no one can read a scroll without serious training," I mused. "He's got everything he likely needs to achieve his dire scheme right on Serana's back, but he can't get to it, not yet. He's going to need something else."

"What?" she asked.

"A moth priest," I said. And I smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" asked Sofia.

"Because the Moth Priests are all in Cyrodiil," I said. "The closest one's are in the mountains north of Cheydenhall and they are entirely blind and accordingly are no good. The ones which are still capable of reading the scrolls are all in the White Gold Tower. That's a lot of sunny days of travel for a vampire to get down there to get one of those. And of course he has to go through the entire Imperial City Guard to get even to the location of the Moth Priests."

"So you're saying we can take our time saving the world?"

"No," I said with a sigh. "We're going to have to tell this to Isran, but what happens after that is going to depend on what he thinks needs be done."

Sofia, with the skill that comes from long practice, drained the last of the bottle and proceeded to pull yet another one out from under her garments.

"I feel a really deep emotional need to get drunk," she observed. "So don't try to stop me."

"Any particular reason?" I asked.

"Yes," replied Sofia. "But it's deeply personal. So I can't tell you yet. Maybe later. After I'm naked."

"So you are informing me that you have this deep personal need to get drunk and toss your clothes?"

"Pretty much. Since I got a house of my own it's dawned on me that I have a bit more liberty to do that sort of thing. So long as there's a guy to admire me, I'm good to go."

"Okay, so you want to get drunk, take off your clothes, but only because I'm here to admire you."

"Yes," she said, draining the bottle and pulling out a third. "Not sure where the rest of them went to, I'm going to have to search a little harder." And she commenced to remove every article of clothing she had been wearing and looked for mead in the various interior pockets which she had clearly sewn in at some point prior. She found two more bottles, put them to the side, and snuggled back up to me.

"There we go," she said. "Any opinions on what might be fun to do tonight?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"No."

"Okay, how about getting dressed and going to the Winking Skeever with Viarmo and Inge and having a nice meal?"

"All they'll do is argue over that new lute design that Viarmo's been thinking about. And besides, I can't possibly get dressed until I'm sober."

"Since when?"

"Since I decided that right now."

"Sofia?"

"Valentine?"

"Why don't you just come clean and admit that you really want to do is get a nice buzz on, get a little molested by your husband, then get made love to, go downstairs for some bread and cheese, come back up here, refresh the buzz, get made love to maybe again, and then fall asleep in my arms, and then wake up tomorrow to a nice back scratch and breakfast before we start for Riften?"

"Because it's easier to get you to figure it out," she answered. "You're my personal slave. You're supposed to already know."

I leaned back and Sofia snuggled up next to me while I gently ran my left hand over her hips and back. "When in doubt," I sighed. "baby Sofia."

"See? You figured it out," she replied.

And that's what I did.

We took the road towards Dragon Bridge. That was the problem with the Karth River, it was way too wide before Dragon's Bridge which meant that our trip to Riften was going to be anything but straight forward. We could have swam across, but it was getting colder and colder thanks to the steady progression of fall.

"Valentine?" queried Sofia. "Unless you were planning on giving me a really good foot rub this evening at an Inn, why are we walking and not taking the carriage?"

"Well let's see," I mused. "First of all, there was 40,000 Septims to get Proudspire. Then we needed 1,200 to cover Lydia's expenses and needs for the next three months down in Whiterun. Then we needed yet another 1,200 to cover Jordis who will be shortly moving in with the investment ceremony. . ."

"Until she meets with a very tragic accident," suggested Sofia. "I've already expressed my concerns with Serana and she seemed to think that it's very likely."

"We don't know if Serana will ever come back," I observed.

"Tragic accidents are not predicable either," replied Sofia. "That's what makes them so tragic."

"Back to the original issue," I pressed. "Then we had 1,000 to get our little pointed pair back to daddy dearest. To be frank, we have pocket change in our pockets and that is the extent of our wealth. We'll be busy adventuring the next month I'm thinking, but if we can rake it in like we did the past three months, that is, 15,000 a month, we'll be okay in a bit. I don't see us making any more big purchases and we're not going to be able to do this much longer, someone probably is pregnant with our first squirt and she's going to need to be at home changing diapers and breastfeeding for at least a couple of years."

"Do I need to punch you into oblivion for suggesting . . ."

"I am observing that you have a pair of breasts, dear and last time I checked, that's what the Mara made them for. Yes, they are soft, warm, and silky smooth and you obviously enjoy me caressing them at certain times but face it girl, that's what motherhood is all about. Would I like to go adventuring with you all the rest of my life? To wake up in the numerous inns of Skyrim with that drop dead gorgeous face peacefully asleep next to me? Yes. To snuggle up to you in our furs when we are camping after having slaughtered yet another crypt full of Drauger? Yes. I even like hearing you whisper evil thoughts about picking the pockets clean of various bandits who are not watching as well as they should. But if you think you can crawl through a cave full of Falmer with a baby on your back in a papoose? Ain't gonna happen girl."

"Jordis can be useful, she can babysit," retorted Sofia.

"Until she meets with that tragic accident you expressed concern about with Serana," I replied.

"I hate you, Valentine."

"Did I ever tell you how cute you look when you're losing an argument with me?"

Sofia commenced to slap the stones of the road for a bit.

From Dragon's Bridge it was on to Rorikstead. From there it was a cut across the Tundra to Whiterun where we spent the evening. We played for tips in the inn, me on the lute and Sofia on the drum. Afterwards, there were a few septims in our pockets afterwards making friends with those few we had prior. We slept at Breezehome and I caught up with the local news from Lydia. And from there we proceeded towards Riften. The problem is that there is no direct way to anything in Skyrim so it was around The Throat of the World past Ivarstead and on the road by the Treva River. It's a nice pathway really. I love all the birch in the woods. Of course there were bears, wolves, and frost bite spiders, not to mention the occasional saber cat. But calm spells were more than adequate for most of the fauna. I was not in the mood to collect pelts and work them into leather for the local blacksmiths. We got to Riften late in the afternoon and then it was on the road to Morrowind, turning into the narrow passage into the Dawnguard vale. We might have gotten there sooner, but Golden Glow was having a special affair with Black Briar Meadery and they were making mead by the lake and Sofia's nose picked up on that and it was a rather amusing tussle match before I was able to get her to move on.

So in the early evening, we got to Dawnguard Castle. In the middle of a vampire attack.

As far as adventures go, I was not finding this surprising at all.


	14. Chapter 14 - A Song For the Dawnguard

"I normally like to seduce my victims before I kill them but I'm on a tight schedule and my Valentine will get jealous," explained Sofia to the male vampire she was trying to stab with her sword all the while throwing a ward up to keep the vampiric drain from depriving her of life essence.

As for me, I was also throwing up a ward. I had been getting somewhat capable with wards, but I was also rather disappointed with the quality of the Iron Skin spell. I had worked like a dog to get to the point where it was three times as powerful but I still went down with a single hit. And only rapid restoration magic was able to get me back up. I was getting sick and tired of being so vulnerable. Accordingly, I was behind Sofia throwing fire bolts into the creature's face and deciding that given the hairy quality of fights we were engaging in now (vampires tend to sober you up when you find yourself fighting them routinely) it was time I stopped ignoring that one rude woman in Riften, name of Grelka, and take light armor lessons from her. Problem was, that was going to cost money, of which we had very little of. Two more fire bolts and a slash across the chest and that one was down. We pushed forward to our next target. That was a female vampire, pressing hard against a younger Dawnguard who was looking rather frightened by the snarling intensity of that horned ridged face and long teeth.

"Yo! Sweetie pie with the long teeth!" I called out to her. "I think I love you!"

The female vampire hesitated for a second, since that's not the sort of thing women on the battle field normally hear from behind them, and then she found herself immolated in fire from both me and Sofia. She turned to face us and that's what the young Dawnguard needed. He ran his blade through the small of her back. She looked down at the protruding blade and an expression of shock and horror filled her features before she crumpled into a pile of dust upon the ground.

I did a quick scan of the battle field. The three vampires in my vision were starting to fall back while the dozen or so Dawnguard were advancing, centered around the brilliant sunlight nimbus of Isran. I fired off a few more fire bolts, and the remaining half dozen vampires turned and ran. The Dawnguard, cheering, pursued while Isran paused, and, as if to say he was more dignified than that, began walking back to the gate of the castle.

"Look at this, I should have known it was only a matter of time before they found us. It's the price we pay for openly recruiting. We'll have to step up our defenses," he grumbled.

"But the victory we just got from them will make them think twice before they try that again," I countered, jogging up behind him.

He turned to me. "I don't suppose you have some good news for me?" He queried.

"I have news," I sighed. "But I wouldn't call it good."

"Of course, why could I suppose differently? Fine, tell me what you know. So what was in Dimhollow Crypt?" asked Isran.

"Besides the corpse of Vigilant Tolan?" replied Sofia.

"The vampires were looking for a women who had been sealed up," I replied. "She turned out to be the daughter of a powerful Vampire Lord. And so we took her home to her father to get the lay of the land. We now know where their headquarters are, and got a good grasp of the power behind this operation."

"And so you delivered her to them," groaned Isran in that tone which suggested that I had failed him. Of course that was the tone Isran had with everyone.

"Well if you wanted us to die taking down as many of the hundreds of vampires mobbing us as were in that castle, not to mention never knowing what we had done or gone to, you could have asked?" replied Sofia.

"We did quite a number of things," I replied. "We got to know this vampire girl. Her name is Serana. We noted she had an Elder Scroll on her back, which of course set off a lot of alarms in my head. We discovered she was holding on to a lot of her humanity and thus was very polite and well mannered, even after we cast all those dispel magics on us to make sure we were not being enthralled. And we got the impression that she didn't care for her father that much, nor he cared much for her."

"An Elder Scroll," groaned Isran.

"Could be worse," I retorted. "They've got it but they can't read it. As it was, Serana managed to keep her father from doing horrible things to our blood cell count, referring to us as her saviors and friends. So instead of feeding us to his court, we were merely banished. This after we decided we did not wish to be turned into vampires."

"Just because I'm a night person doesn't mean I'm that much of a night person," Sofia added. "Not to mention that the rules for the club require you to give up mead."

Isran was a good commander, and he understood that his charges would have to make decisions on the field when he was not around. While he might not have immediately approved of the fact that we had kept our reconnaissance mission strictly reconnaissance, he quickly grasped that we had actually managed to penetrate (without fangs no less) the inner circle of the forces arrayed against us. In short, because we had not done what he would have done, we ended up doing something far more important. Of course his tone conveyed nothing which remotely suggested approval of our initiatives.

"So they have everything they wanted. By the Divines, this couldn't get any worse. This is more than you and I can handle," he grumbled.

"So we give up?" suggested Sofia with a rather sarcastic tone.

"We are going to do something I presume," I broke in trying to pour oil on the potential rough waters. "You didn't do all this to stop now." I continued gesturing to the vast towers and walls of the castle.

"Well of course we will, I'm old, not stupid. We're just going to need some help. If they are bold enough to attack us here, this might be bigger than I thought," reflected Isran. He paused for a moment, "Gunmar, big brute of a nord. Got it into his head that his experience with animals would help. and Sorein Jurard, whipsmart and a tinkerer. They will give us the edge we need. Get them."

And with that he turned and walked back into the castle. I looked at Sofia. She looked at me.

"Not another fetch quest. Do we even get to sleep here tonight?" She asked.

"Of course," I replied opening the door to the castle foyer. "I even recall that there's a guest double bed up on the second story." We found it, fenced it off with some rope and hanging blankets for privacy and settled in for the night after I had made a few inquiries among the fellow members of the Dawnguard.

I woke up the next morning, sat up and stretched. Sofia was still asleep so I got out of the bed and got my robes on and then proceeded to go down stairs to the back area and there, on a work table, began to adjust the leather armor which the vampires had been wearing. It was going to take three sets to first, fit it to my frame, and second, repair the rents and tears from weapon damage. But I was determined that I was going to be armored shortly so I could start taking the point and protecting Sofia from any future peril.

"We have our own style of armor," suggested Durak, walking in as I was busy starting to fit the pieces. He was one of the local orcs who was pretty well up in the Dawnguard ranks.

"But it's heavy," I countered. "I need something lighter to move in."

"We have light armor," answered Durak. "If I saw you coming up the valley in something like that I would hack your head off and found out my mistake afterwards."

"Let's see your light armor," I answered.

Durak left for a moment and Sofia came down, looking rather . . . well queasy was the best expression of her expression.

"Valentine," she groaned. "I wanna throw up and I'm not even drunk."

I knew I had seconds to act. I had a bucket in her hands just three seconds before she lost it. Then Durak showed up holding some square stud leather armor.

"Did you have to do that in here?" He groaned. His nose wrinkled in disgust.

"I didn't ask to throw up!" snapped Sofia. "It just happened. And now I'm starving!"

I sighed. "Getting sick now with a flu Sofia, is not a good idea. We're in the middle of a mess and besides, if you are carrying a child . . ."

"If she's carrying a child? You mean you only think she might be pregnant?" roared Durak with laughter. "Well doubt no more! She's got morning sickness. I remember both my wives spewing all over the floor."

"Oh that's right," groaned Sofia. "This happened the last time." Then she looked at me with just a little trepidation.

"I didn't run away when you said your period was late," I said with a smile. "Why would I run now?"

She simply walked over and hugged me, rather tightly, for a second.

"I'm going to be there for the child, Sofi," I whispered. "And forever afterwards. We are married after all."

"I really am going to have a baby this time," she whispered back. Then she looked up at me. "And she'll be pretty just like me, clever just like me, grow up to be an adventurer just like me."

I cleared my throat. "There's a fifty fifty chance it's going to be a boy," I suggested.

"Then he'll be good looking just like me, clever just like me, grow up to be an adventurer just like me."

"What about me?"

"Well he might . . . He'll have a wondering singing voice . . . Just like you . . . And me."

Durak cleared his throat. "This is all very touching," he suggested. "But here's the light Dawnguard Armor for you to try out." He handed over three sets of the riveted iron plated leather and proceeded on some other errand.

"Thanks," I said. I began to examine the pieces. Sofia looked over my shoulder.

"Personally? I think I look better in the vampire armor and you look more manly in the Dawnguard armor. Of course neither one is easy to remove which could prove to be problematic tonight when I decide you need to be seduced."

"When you decide I need to be seduced?"

"Well of course. I can always tell when you need that. I mean, have you ever said no when I started being seductive?"

"You mean like when you say, 'Now give me all your clothes or I'll kill you'?"

"When have I ever said that?"

"Well there was that night in Ivarstead after we left Riften with Esbern. Then there was that evening in the Nightgate Inn before we went into Dimhollow, and let's see, has there been any further . . ."

"Just forget it," she sighed.

It wasn't easy, but I managed to work out the various pieces so that at the end of a few hours, Sofia was looking like the vamp in red toned leather armor and skirt while I was looking somewhat riveting in my rust colored vest. I didn't care for the fact that the arms were bare. But then it dawned on me that I could wear a shirt underneath it. Once that was settled, I was ready to go. So we set out.

"Where are we going?" asked Sofia.

"We are going to find Gunmar first," I said. "I asked around last night and he's been seen around Ivarstead hunting bears. And that way we'll get to check up with the Greybeards on that shout which Esbern told us we need to learn."

"Oh great, those 7,000 steps again. And I didn't pack my warm underwear. Last time it almost killed my legs. And it gets cold in the southern parts if you know what I mean. But after those geriatric dragon slayers, the Greybeards seem almost wonderful in comparison," She sighed. "They are a strange bunch though. Imagine having to sit there in silence all the time. I couldn't do it. I struggle staying quiet for a minute. What's the point of being able to shout and not shouting? If I were Dragonborn shouting would take on a whole new meaning."

It was back up the road by the Treva River and into Ivarstead where we found Gunmar by a small cave just north of the town. He agreed to go back to speak with Isran provided we first helped him take out a very nasty bear which he had tracked to that cave. Sofia complained that she could barely handle it and I swatted her on the backside for good measure. We finished that, took the pelts, and headed back to the Inn. There Sofia rather seductively asked if I wanted to see her bare chest and when I replied yes, she proceeded to lift up the bear fur and pointed to it's chest. I swatted her on the backside yet again.

Well that took care of Gunmar, and so we spent the night in Ivarstead, playing as usual for room and board. More tips. Then, it was up to High Hrothgar where the 7,000 (lies all lies) steps were packed with the usual menagerie of belligerent bears, wolves, and trolls. That made the trip less of a spiritual journey which was the whole point of the steps in the first place. But once again I was rewarded with Kynareth's blessing and entered the great grey monastery for the third time. And then it got dicey. Yes, as if the trolls were bad enough, there was a new wrinkle in the shirt. The Greybeards it seemed, did not like the Blades. But not only that, in the middle of Arngeir's chewing me out for even suggesting that I needed to learn the Dragonrend shout a theological debate broke out among the Greybeards and it was all in the Dragon Tongue which made the entire place shake. So even though I could not understand a bit of it, there was nothing remotely boring about the debate.

The rattling and shaking and shouting unsettled Sofia way more than me because at least I was able to withstand the power unleashed thanks to my Dragonborn blood. But she had no such advantage and so not only was I trying to stay on my feet, I had Sofia's weight to contend with as well since she saw the most effective way of not falling over consisting of leaping up on my back and hanging on by wrapping her legs around my waist and arms around my shoulders.

"Don't you dare say, 'ride 'em horsy' because if you do, I'll made sure you don't taste mead for a week," I groaned.

The debate ended with the decision that as I was Dragonborn and possessing my own special destiny, the pacifistic approach to shouting which was the Greybeard's practice did not apply to me. So they taught me a new shout, one which cleared up the local weather issues and with that, I was able to ascend to the top of the Throat to meet their head.

The head of their order turned out to be something I had never encountered before; a friendly dragon. His initial impression was one of sheer intimidation since he was the first dragon I had ever encountered who was happy to see me and landed close enough that his arm length fangs were within inches of my face. Other than that he was more than polite. His name was Paarthurnax and was one of those chaps who liked to talk. As a result, we spent several hours up on the top of the mountain, speaking to him and meditating on the words he had given me for shouting. But the most important information was that the Dragonrend shout was of entirely human origin. It had been made to defeat Alduin and once Alduin had been 'defeated' the shout had no more purpose and had been forgotten. But what I also learned was that the shout was only part of the puzzle. Alduin had not been thrown down by the shout. He had been made to experience mortality which had weakened him enough so that with the aid of an Elder Scroll, he had been just thrown forward in time. And it was at the top of the Throat where that rift in time had taken place.

So not only did I need to learn the Dragon Rend Shout. I needed an Elder Scroll and it was only through the Elder Scroll that I would be able to learn every thing I needed to set up what was becoming an increasingly complex ritual to confront Alduin.

"So the leader of the Greybeards is a dragon?" began Sofia as we started to descend the mountain past the various corpses of trolls and ice wraiths we had to dispose of between shouts to dispel the simply awful weather. "Well that explains a lot. So I guess we need an elder scroll then? Is that all? Well that shouldn't be hard. I mean they are just laying all over the place. There was me thinking he was going to say that we had to do something difficult."

"Serana has an Elder Scroll," I mused.

"So we just sail back to Castle Volkihar and knock and say pretty please while I flutter my eyelashes?"

"That only works on me," I observed.

"Since when?"

"I'm here every day for you, or haven't you noticed?"

"You mean that the reason why you and I are married is because I fluttered my eyelashes?"

"That and a few other things," I continued. "But Lord Harkon doesn't sound like the sort who cares for fluttering eyelashes. Pulsing throbbing throats are more his thing."

"You know? I think I noticed that," she remarked. "Those long teeth of his were a big giveaway."

"Funny how that works."

And then it was off to Sky Haven Temple to talk to Esbern about the Dragon Rend shout. Sky Haven was only a bit out of the way since according to Isran, Sorien was just at the north end of the reach, in the far western portion of Haafingar. That took the next day of travel. Delphine and Esbern were both spending their free time meditating on dreams and visions which they had experienced on the temple's porch, which was on top of the mountain and presented an absolutely drop dead gorgeous view of the reach. The view was only slightly marred by a comment from Sofia.

"You know," she observed. "It's a pity Jordis isn't here with us. You could demonstrate that Fus Do Rah shout and see if it would propel her into the river below."

"Then she wouldn't be able to babysit," I pointed out.

"I've thought about that. Jarl Elisif can babysit. That's not beyond her competency."

"The Jarl of Haafinger has way more important things to do than babysit our children, Sofi."

"Oh? Such as?"

"There's only the entire hold to administer."

"That's what Falk and Sybille are for, and the thanes like you and me. Well you anyway, I've got more important jobs I'll be doing."

"Such as?"

"Well I need to be in the Winking Skeever drinking with the little people to make sure their views are listened to and acted upon."

"I see," I replied. "How could I have imagined you doing anything else?"

And it was apparently my turn to be kicked hard in the backside.

From Sky Haven we set out to traverse the Reach, heading mostly north up the river. Our chief issue during the trip was mudcrabs which were not a particular challenge. The Forsworn on the other hand, were more than a nuisance. They were fond of shooting with bows and arrows from behind rocks and up in cliffs and crevices. I was grateful I had manage to learn the Fireball spell. What was irritating was that I could get only two of them off before I had to suck down magicka potions. Just the same, explosions tended to unnerve the Forsworn who were more than happy to scream "Victory is yours! I submit!" and run if I managed to score some direct hits. It was a full day of walking the foot trails and what passed for roads before we got up into the headwaters and highlands in the far western reaches of Skyrim near the borders of High Rock. And there we found Sorine. She was mostly short and to the point, complaining that her satchel of dwarven devices had been stolen by mudcrabs. I had a hard time accepting that. Mudcrabs suffer from an acute sense of territoriality and are quick to attack anything which comes to close to where they were busy grazing. But to suggest that they would deliberately steal a leather satchel was somewhat of a stretch. So Sofia and I started looking.

"You are always trying to satisfy other people," began Sofia, grumbling because she found looking for specific items incredibly boring. "It's a shame you never try and satisfy me."

"What?" I sputtered. "Are you confusing me with Horsa again?"

"What? No I didn't mean it like that. I meant as in trying to please me . . . Uh . . . No . . . That sounds even worse. *sighs* I'll just shut up now. . . . And Quit Laughing!"

After about an hour, Sorine's satchel was delivered to her and she set off for Isran's secret hideaway. She was not surprised he was still working on it.

"Isran is, if anything, stubborn," she commented.

We went to the Four Shields Inn, sang for our super and room. Then the next morning, walked on to Solitude where we unloaded and found Jordis moved in. I formally welcomed her and told her to make herself at home and likewise gave her a run down on who was and who was not free to drop by and visit. We were a little more wealthy thanks to the bits and pieces of stuff we had been able to pick up off of the various animals and monsters and Forsworn we had been dealing with. Once I had left the Dawnguard castle and was on a circuitous route home, it was no more calm spells for the flora and fauna. We needed money and attacking animals were fair play. So it was off to the tanning rack to turn all the spare leather into boots which were sold to the blacksmith Beirand, off to the enchanting table to learn any new enchantments, and then enchanting on all the found jewelry we had scooped up, which increased it's value, and then off to the various shops where what was left was sold off. At the end of the day I was able to deposit 500 septims into Sofia's lap at the dining table.

"Shall we give some of our hard earned money to the poor?" she queried with an impish grin on her features while she scooped the septims from her lap and put them into her side pouch. "Nah, let's spend it on mead."

"And get drunk and do something we will later regret and pass out?" I added. "That is your usual proposal."

"If it's in our bedroom, we've never done something I've regretted," she countered. "Not for lack of trying though."

"How about on the Dining Room floor underneath the table?" I queried.

"What? I'm not even drunk yet."

"Even better."

"VALENTINE!" she cried as I scooped her up and settled her down on the carpet beneath the table. I don't think I need to elaborate further.

The next day we set out once again for Dawnguard Castle. And we took the carriage. As it was, we got there just as Isran was doing his first briefing with the Dawnguard now that Sorien and Gunard were present. Every one was seated at the dining tables in the kitchen area as it was large, spacious, and there was food for munching on while plans were made to free Tamriel from the fanged menace . . . Or was it peril? Gunard was instructed to start taming trolls while Sorien was instructed to work on that new crossbow design she had been talking about. Then Isran looked at me.

"And you will now explain why a courier brought this letter to us addressed to you," he said with a glance and tone which suggested suspicion or hostility. Of course it was hard to determine if Isran was mad at you specifically or just the whole world or if he was just suffering from sore muscles due to his intense workout the day before.

I could feel all the eyes of the Dawnguard upon me. And not all of them were expressing simple curiosity. I took the letter Isran gave me. It was addressed to Sofia and Valentine Florian, it was a single sheet of paper rolled up, pressed flat, and sealed with a very vivid deep purple wax and it smelled slightly salty and rusty. The ink was red.

"Why would any one send a letter to us here?" I asked.

"Especially if it was a vampire," added Isran.

"How could you possibly know that?" I countered. "This seal is clearly not broken."

"Can't you smell it?" snarled Durak. "That's blood ink that's been used. That's the sort of letter vampires send when they are expressing friendship and affection. It smells sweet to them."

"You mean like a perfumed letter?" I queried.

Isran and Durak nodded while much of the rest of the Dawnguard frowned.

"I'll kill her," muttered Sofia.

"Well," I said, trying to make the best of a bad situation. "Let's read this letter out loud so everyone knows what in oblivion Serana is trying to do."

"You mean you know who sent it to you?" said Durak with that angry orc growl tone in his voice.

"There's only one vampire we know that would dare express affection to us," I replied breaking the seal and unfolding the letter. "The one who had the Elder Scroll and apparently knew so much I didn't dare kill her since, as you no doubt know already, vampire dust does not elaborate very well. That gave us the time to get to know her, appreciate her good qualities, hard to believe I freely admit but she does have them, and gives me and Sofia hope that we'll persuade her to be cured."

I cleared my throat and read it out loud to the entire Dawnguard. And it went like this.

_My darling Sofia and friend Val,_

_I will be meeting you in Solitude at the house since I suspect that the Dawnguard would kill me before I had the chance to talk with you. I kind of accidentally on purpose deliberately forgot to return the spare key so I will let myself in. I say this so you won't get upset and do something rash to mar the very pretty walls and furniture of your home should you walk into a dark house and spy a pair of glowing eyes. If Jordis has already moved in I'll connect with Sybille first so that she does not panic when I show up because I just can't work up the enthusiasm for arriving at say, noon?_

_I will be bringing the Elder Scroll since it's part of the reason why mother locked me up in that stone tomb. I'll explain more when we get back together. Once you have the full picture, hopefully we'll be able to persuade the Dawnguard to assist, or at least not do something painful to my girlish figure. I figure since they're vampire hunters and that there's an awful lot of us, they'll content themselves with those which are presently trying to destroy the world, or at least make it a pretty rotten place. I'll elaborate when we meet._

_It's possible that this letter will not reach you before I do. I'm sending it to the Dawnguard castle since I figured you would be using that as a base given your present vampire hunting careers. I know it's supposed to be a secret hideout but father and the rest of the court are quite aware of both it's location and strength of numbers._

_I remain your dearest,_

_Serana._

I looked at the collected assembly.

"Now explain why I shouldn't instruct you and your wife to kill that woman the moment she shows up at your house?" stated Isran.

"Well," I began with a weak smile. "It wouldn't exactly be hospitable."

There was a bit of nervous laughter. Hearing the words being read aloud had reminded the entire assembly that there wasn't a single vampire that had not started out just a human being like the rest of us. I made sure Serana's trust and affection for us had come out in the letter.

"So?" queried Isran. "You didn't give her permission to come did you?"

"Well to be frank we kind of did," I replied. "Isran," I continued quietly as everyone was looking at me with a mixture of surprise, shock, and amazement that I could, on the surface, be that stupid. "Do you for one moment suspect that I don't know that beneath that nice tone and polite manner, that comic sense and friendly affection, there's a monster lurking?"

"So you agree she's a monster," said Durak.

"Very much so," I sighed. "There is nothing more monstrous than a Daughter of Coldharbor, but we have to remember how Daughters of Coldharbor are made. Not all of them are willing. And I suspect there's a little corner in each and every one of them that they retreat to scream in disgust and horror over what they experienced, or even willingly participated in."

"Then killing them is a favor," reasoned Isran.

"I won't argue with that," I replied. "It clearly is a last resort however. If we just hunt and kill them, are we not more like them that we should be?"

"You're sounding soft," snarled Isran. "Soft killed the Vigilants."

"Obviously Isran," I answered. "I saw Tolan's corpse and I heard the vampires laughing over the ease at which they disposed of him. But I wish to make a point. If you were hunting a vampire and that vampire was heading towards that wizard in Morthal, the one who knows how to cure vampirism, would you kill that vampire?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Is not a cured vampire a greater victory than a dead one?"

There were several murmurs in the assembly.

"Vampires killed both my wives!" shouted Durak, slamming his hand on the table. "There's no cure for death and the grief which comes from it!"

"I'm not asking you to spare those who attacked your family, Durak," I countered. "Killing them is justice or at least well argued vengeance. And only an idiot with a death wish comes between a strong orc and his just revenge. But a vampire who had done you personally no harm? Will you strike them down as they are seeking a cure?"

Again there were murmurs and a few raised voices and Durak himself simply growled. Orc growls are hard to read. He might have been in agreement. He might have been annoyed that I was proving right. He might have been deeply pondering what he was going to have for dinner. Like all twists which make the simple more complex, there were those who grasped immediately and those who were slower or just plain stubborn.

"Here's what we are all up against," I continued. I stood up and began to pace around the tables, trying to look into each of the Dawnguard's eyes. "We are up against a plot so insidious and evil that even vampires are wanting to make an alliance with us . . . US! You think vampires are monsters and evil? So do I, but what do we then do with a scheme which is even more monstrous and evil? If we are to believe Serana's letter."

I was holding the letter above my head for the flourish of it. What can I say? I'm a Bard and I know my theatrics. I had everyone's attention now.

"I'm the dragonborn," I continued. "Every single dragon I've run into has been the sort to incinerate farms and villages and my friends. I've killed . . . Damn I lost count a month ago . . . Yet, if it were not for a single dragon, the Greybeards would not have been there to guide me in the way of the voice. One dragon . . . One Dragon . . . Perfectly capable of killing half of us should it fly in here . . . Took pity on man and taught the first dragonborn the voice. He did so with the help of the gods. Now if the gods are willing to forgive one dragon who was, before then Alduin's chief lieutenant, am I just going to kill a vampire that comes to me in trust and begs us . . . The Dawnguard . . . To save the entire world from something nasty?"

"The letter did say it was a plan to destroy the whole world," mused Gunmar.

"Could be exaggeration," warned Isran. "Vampires are deceitful, treacherous, this could be all a plot to so that she might infiltrate our base and then betray us to the rest of her kind."

There were more than a few nodded assents.

"It's a risk," I admitted. "I have reasons to trust Serana. Reasons which have to do with the simple fact that the times she has had to suck me dry she has not chosen to avail herself of. She's the most cunning and patient of vampires I've encountered if that's been her whole plan. For this reason I'm willing to make a deal. My life in exchange for yours. If she proves to be treacherous in any fashion with the rest of the Dawnguard, then you can chop my head right off. My life for yours. Fair?"

"Valentine?" whimpered Sofia. "ARE YOU CRAZY!" she shouted.

"Done," said Isran. "As far as we are concerned, she has safe conduct in the Castle. But she's not to be trusted. She's a resource, an asset. And if she lays so much as a finger on anyone, you will pay."

I nodded my assent.

"Valentine?" came Sofia's voice. "We are going . . . To have a talk . . . NOW!"

I meekly nodded and we headed off towards a quite spot.

"The dragonborn, whipped into submission by a woman," groaned Isran. "As if things were not already bad."

"Humans are soft," grumbled Durak. "My wives would not have commanded me to have a talk . . ."

"They would have beaten you into submission?" suggested Gunmar with a grin.

There were chuckles over that one.

"Valentine!" stammered Sofia the moment we were safely out of earshot . . . "How could you do this to me?"

"What are you so upset about?"

"I . . . I have to trust a monster with the life of my husband!" she whimpered. She was literally on the edge of tears.

"This is Serana we're talking about," I countered.

"I know I know but . . ." Tears were beginning to roll down her cheek. Then she held on as tightly as she could. "I've lost one man already when I was carrying a baby. And he didn't even love me like you do . . . Valentine if I lose you I'll DIE!"

"I'm not going to die," I whispered. "Not yet. I was picked by the Gods for a reason. This has nothing to do with Alduin . . . I hope . . . Sofi Sofi Sofi . . . You know we need both the Dawnguard and Serana if we're going to get this figured out. And don't forget Sofi . . ." And here I lifted her chin up so I could look into those sapphire eyes of hers. "We're in this mess because vampires infected you twice and I was going to make sure that didn't happen to you again. I'm doing this so I don't lose you. Because if I lose you . . ." And then I was holding on to her as tightly as possible.

"If you start to cry on me now I'm going to kick you so hard . . ." muttered Sofia. "If I'm crying you're supposed to wipe away my tears and make me happy. Not join me."

"Alright alright," I said smiling in spite of my sudden sense of sadness. I gently brushed the tears off her cheeks.

Needless to say, we turned in early and made love before we fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next day we walked to Rifen, once again chartered a carriage, and on the evening of the 23rd, rode into Solitude.

"I hope our next trip doesn't require us to cross the entire length of Skyrim yet again," sighed Sofia as we got out of the carriage and started up the road to the gates. Then she staggered briefly and walked over to a bush and threw up behind it. She didn't throw up every day, but she was feeling queasy routinely.

"I'm not sure which I hate more, the cramps I get from having a period or this nausea I'm getting because I'm carrying a baby," she groaned.

"Well look at the bright side," I suggested. "Once you have the baby and start to breastfeed, that will keep your periods away for another eighteen months or so. So you have that to look forward to."

"If my baby . . . our baby is anything like my mom said I was, my nipples will be so sore from all the chewing . . ."

"Of course," I sighed. "I forgot it sucks to be Sofia."

"If you're trying to give me sympathy, wipe that grin off your face," she grumbled.

We approached the gate and I turned around and looked back. Sofia looked at me.

"You know? A month ago we were walking down this road on our way to get in the carriage to go to the Thalmor Embassy," I observed. "A lot can happen in a month."

"And three months ago I was sleeping in the Whiterun stables and you came up and asked to share my hay," observed Sofia. "A lot can happen between summer and fall."

"Any regrets?" I asked.

"Only one, well two. I could have gotten drunk a few more times and starting making love to you earlier."'

"That's it? What about trusting me sooner?"

"I was being cautious," she replied. "A woman of my qualities can't be to careful these days."

"Okay, so you get drunk with and make love to men you've don't entirely trust yet because you're just being careful," I mused.

"Valentine, why do I hear sarcasm?"

"Could be because I'm being sarcastic?"

She kicked me. And it was with a slight limp that I walked into Proudspire manor that evening. Jordis was there to greet us with a rather pale face and nervous disposition.

"Jordis?" I queried. "What's the matter."

"I've been having a hard time getting to sleep these last two nights," she replied.

"Any reason?" I continued.

"Well?" began Jordis.

Just then Serana came up the stairs.

It's been a very relaxing two nights," she said with a big smile, the sort that displayed her two fangs more prominently that some women's outfits and posture display their breasts. "I really appreciate all the blood potions we made the last time I was here."

Jordis kind of shifted her eyes in the direction of Serana. I nodded.

"I understand completely," I said while Sofia took Jordis' hands and held them in sympathy.

"Though I wouldn't have been surprised if you had not been expecting me," Serana added.

"My," I said with a bit of a smile. "What a big Elder Scroll you have on your back, Serana."

"The better to stop my father with, Val," replied Serana returning the subtle smile.

"We'd better gather around the dining room table," I said. "Get yourself a potion or two Serana. Jordis? Pull out a couple of bottles of mead. This is going to be a talk. And Jordis? You'll be joining us of course. You'll need to be brought up to speed as well." I paused. "Damn, Jarl Elisif is going to need to hear this as well. So that means tomorrow we're going to have to pay a visit to the court."

"Oh my thane?" intruded Jordis. "Jarl Elisif was hoping to formally install you this week if she could."

"Right, we can do that. We'll need to plan anyway. Jordis? Screw two bottles, bring up a bag of everything."

"Very good my thane," she replied with that 'I'm sworn to carry your burdens' tone that Lydia was so fond of using. Serana sat down on the side next to the fire while Sofia and I sat on the other side of the table.

"That fire won't be uncomfortable will it?" I asked.

"I like fire," replied Serana. "It's nice to feel the warmth."

Jordis came back upstairs with a set of blood potions, and mead bottles. I passed out fluted glasses and realized that clear glass was not necessarily a good idea since Serana poured part of a bottle of her blood potion into her glass and that thick red liquid which was mostly blood filled it. She took a gentle sip, reached for a mead bottle, poured a bit of that into the mixture, and took another sip. It was very civilized and delicate but not a sight for those eyes which were squeamish at the sight of blood.

"It all comes back to my father," She began with a sigh. "I guess by now you've figured out that my father is not a good man, even by vampire standards."

"Well his behavior at our first meeting was not the most enjoyable first impression," I replied.

"But he wasn't always like that," she said wistfully. "I remember when he loved me and mom and we had so much fun together. But there was a turn. He discovered this obscure prophecy and he became lost in it . . . Obsessed . . . Twisted."

I waited for her to continue.

"It was a prophecy in the Elder Scrolls about how vampires would no longer have to fear the sun. For someone who envisioned himself as vampire royalty, that's pretty seductive. He wants to control the sun, and by controlling the sun, vampires would be able to control the world. Well my mother and I didn't feel like inviting a war with all of Tamriel, so we tried to stop him. That was why I was sealed up in that tomb with the scroll."

"I'm a little vague on the whole sealing up in the tomb thing," sighed Sofia. "It sounds really boring to be locked up for that long. Why you and why the Elder Scroll?"

"The Elder Scroll has something in it which would help my father achieve control of the sun," began Serana. "And I would believe that would also let us know what we need to do in order to prevent that. As for why I was locked up . . . I don't know. Mother sounded so right when she did it, I didn't question her."

"So all we do is open up the scroll and read it and then we'll know what to do to stop this plot," observed Sofi, her sarcasm starting to bubble. "Who would have thought it would be so routine."

"Finding a Moth Priest," sighed Jordis. "Not going to be easy. They don't drink at the Winking Skeever often."

"Well it could be worse," I sighed. "As it is, there are Moth Priests in Cyrodiil at the Imperial City. And I know how to get to them if I have to. But I don't want to have to do that if we can avoid it."

"Why not?" asked Jordis. "I'd love to see the Imperial City."

"My legs would be so stiff," groaned Sofia. "That's going to be a real walk."

"Back before . . . You know. I would have thought the College at Winterhold would have some information on that. They know all sorts of things people are not supposed to know," suggested Serana.

I sat for a moment pondering things over in my head.

"Jordis?" I asked. "Do you remember where I've been storing the maps?"

"Yes my Thane."

"Bring up the map of Skyrim and the map of Cyrodiil, both of them by the cartographer Flavius. He drew everything to the same scale and so we'll get a better grasp."

Jordis left to fetch the maps from upstairs while Sofi began girlish small talk with Serana about life in the Volkihar castle after we had be kicked out. I looked at the two of them. Both women had suffered tragedy in their lives. I was working on giving Sofi a happily ever after, but Serana was going to be trickier I suspected. I began to reflect on the history of Vampirism.

Lamae Beolfag was the first. Raped by Molog Bal in the early dawn of time, she had risen from her funeral pyre and savaged the Nedic tribe which had tried to tend to her wounds. From there the tales varied. Some say she had been a priest of Arkay who had abandoned her after her rape. That made no sense. The Gods do not abandon those who are victims of the Daedra. But it did not surprise me that such a tale would spread. Many of the Daedra hate the Gods and tell lies about them all the time. But from then on, that particular event had been played out again and again in the long and weary history of Tamriel. But always the women who had been given to Moleg Bal had been presented. It was supposed to be an honor.

Jordis returned with the maps and we spread them out on the dining table.

"Okay, here we are in Solitude," I said. Then I ran my finger towards the right hand top of the map. "And there's Dawnstar, and on to Winterhold, where the college is." I paused. "Problem is that there is no ship that will take us to Winterhold. Nothing there but cliffs and glaciers and icebergs. We can take a boat to Dawnstar but from then it's walking along a rather narrow and unfriendly shore. And it's the winter's grip land and we all know winter is coming along quickly. If we're lucky, the college will have a Moth Priest visiting."

"And if we're not?" asked Sofia.

"We are told politely that we need to go to Cyrodiil," I replied.

"Given my life so far," suggested Sofia. "We might as well start the trip to Cyrodiil. I don't think the college will let me back in anyway."

"Let you back in?" queried Serana.

"I came up with this spell that makes people naked?" began Sofia. "It's got to be one of my favorites. I could demonstrate it if you like?"

"No thank you," replied Serana in a very soft spoken and polite tone.

"Well they kicked me out after that. Some people just don't appreciate my genius."

"In that case," I began tracing my fingers down the map. "Our route takes us through Dragon's Bridge, on to Rorikstead, south to the Half-Moon Mill, over to Helgen, what's left of it anyway, and then south into the Pale Pass to Bruma. From there it's a southern road to the Nibben where we turn west, or right, through Aleswell and south to the great bridge by the very tiny village of Weye, and into the City at Talos Plaza. Then we'll have to say hi to Dad and my brother and sisters or they'll never forgive us. That and we need to keep Serana from meeting up with the Order of Virtuous Blood."

"And they are?" asked Sofia.

"A rather eccentric collection of vampire hunters," I answered. "Although they were originally founded a few hundred years ago by a vampire who was using them as a front to hide his own vampiric tendencies."

"Sounds positively intriguing," replied Serana in a tone I found vaguely troublesome.

"You sound like you have a problem with Vampire hunters," suggested Jordis.

"And you are surprised?" replied Serana.

"Oh!" gasped Jordis in a cross between embarrassment and sudden comprehension.

"As it is," I said. "It's going to be a trip no matter how we slice it. And . . ." here I looked at Serana. "I suspect your father has figured out by now that his little girl has flown the roost with the thing he desired most and we're going to have to be careful. Because if your father is capable of thinking at all, he is also looking for a Moth Priest."

"But I have the Elder Scroll," Serana objected.

"Your father knows that. And we know that your father knows that. And he knows that we know. We are all very knowledgeable on that subject." I paused. "We'll want to be here for a week. Jarl Elisif wants to formally install me as Thane. Publicity will draw the vampires here, but likewise . . . Jordis? Think you can play thane's home in such a fashion as to make people think that we and Serana are still in Proudspire for a few days after we slip out?"

"You mean walk around with a haggard expression from overwork and discovering that there's a vampire sleeping on the floor underneath my bed?"

"Underneath the bed? You do these things on purpose don't you?" I asked Serana, struggling to not grin at the humor in the situation.

She smiled. "I couldn't resist," she said. "Being who I am, I've always wanted to do that to someone."

It looked like Serana was back into the adventure with us.


	15. Chapter 15 - A Song For Homecoming

Waking up in my own bed, in my own bedroom, with my own Sofia snuggled up with her head on my shoulder and her hand on my heart. It was wonderful. Outside I could hear a strong wind blowing. A southerner was coming off the Sea of Ghosts and I suspected there was snow in that wind. No surprise there, it was late in Sun's Dusk and we were about as far north in Tamriel as we could be. And of course we were very close to the Winter's Grip land of Skyrim, where the snow never melted. I ran my hand down Sofia's back. She had a night shirt on for we had been simply too tired last night to make love. My dad once said that when I got married, I was to put a pot by the bed. And during the first year of our marriage, I was to put a septim into the pot each time we made love. Then after the first year, I was to take a septim out every time we made love. According to him, I'd never empty the pot. Being quite young and unmarried, I didn't believe him. I had a hard time believing that something that sounded so wonderful would become passé. But it does. Of course the old hat qualities had not struck just yet. But the fact that we were going to stay in Proudspire for a full week had a very profound psychological impact upon us. It was as if our bodies had decided that it was vacation time and we started to unwind. And the first result was this immense wave of fatigue which hit the two of us. We had literally fallen into bed and just slept. Of course the soft feather mattress, the sort you just sink into, did more than encourage this little collapse. So even though I was now awake, I was not in the mood to get out of bed. Besides, the most beautiful woman in Skyrim was snuggled up next to me and there is no one who looks more peaceful and pretty than she does when she's asleep.

Provided of course, she's not snoring.

So I lay there for a moment and just gently caressed her back with my hand for a few moments. She made a little mmm sound and then spoke.

"Valentine?" She said, soft and sweet.

"Yes Sofi?" I replied in a whisper.

"Scratch my back."

She was awake. I commenced to scratch.

Now no doubt some of you are asking the question, "Why do you do that?" Seriously now. Sofia was very self-centered and totally fixated on my serving her needs. Why did I put up with this? It's a good question. Because of course we have had more than a few fights in our life since. I mean she did eventually grow up. As dad said, it was for better and worse and while her beauty and adventurous spirit were definitely on top, her self-centeredness and irresponsible streak were likewise definitely on the bottom. But it all boils down to the very real fact that this was the first woman who had ever really given me the time of day and had done so in a manner which said she would stick around. Now she was going to stick around for all the wrong reasons, the money, booze, and someone to watch your back as you acquired both, but for a guy who had looked at beautiful women from a distance, sighing wistfully thinking he'd never be so lucky, it was a powerful drug and I was hooked for several years on it. I really didn't start seeing her bad qualities for a few years as genuinely bad qualities. It helped when our kids started growing up and Sofia met with a crises, namely she realized that if she didn't want her kids to think about her the way she had thought about her mother, she was going to have to make some serious lifestyle and life approach changes. But while we were young, and there were no crying babies in the crib with fevers, no toddlers playing push me over on the balcony overlooking the Sea of Swords, no young lads whacking each other with fireplace implements, and no young lassies standing in front of windows in their altogether blowing kisses to the boys below, a host of faults and failings were overlooked.

And so I scratched her back for a few moments and listened to her little groans and hums as she got all the 'itchies' taken care of. Then she was up and getting dressed and I crawled out of my side of the bed, or more accurately rolled, and I commenced to dress. I walked out and sat in the lounge outside the bedroom, picked up a flat writer's board, and piece of scrap paper and commenced to start to make a list. If we were heading for Cyrodiil, it was going to be a good long trip. I could hear the foot falls of a metal boot coming up the stairs. I looked up to see Jordis ascending.

"You know, my thane," she observed as she sat down across from me. "I used to laugh at children who were afraid of monsters under their bed."

I nodded. "You can trust her you know. She understands that it's not smart to eat people that are being nice to her."

"I know but . . . Well just knowing she's there. It's really strange. It's not that she's making any noises or anything. It's almost that she doesn't make any noises. I don't even know when she gets in since it's always really late. She's as still as the dead . . . Which really fits now that I think of it. But when she gets up, it's like seeing the drauger getting up. It's the same transition from lifeless to . . . Well with the drauger it's a mockery of life. She looks healthy enough, but?"

I nodded.

"But even though . . . my thane. I'm starting to like her. Am I going insane?"

"We all like her," I replied. "Sofi likes her, I like her, she's been accepted at the court. . ."

"Why? She's a vampire. She's . . . she would kill us if she got hungry enough. It's like having a spider in the house. So long as it's fed, it will stay in the corner and you don't know it's there. But once it gets hungry, it starts to hunt and you wake up with it on the pillow next to you."

We were quiet for a moment.

"Well Jordis, you'll have Proudspire all to yourself on this next trip," I said, changing the subject. I really had no answer for Jordis. "Someone has to stay back and look after our interests and you're fit for that. I know it's kind of boring keeping a big house managed when you could be hacking bandit heads off but . . ."

"I understand," she replied. "No, it's not exciting, but when a dragon is belly-flopping in front of you? Well that's just a bit more excitement than I want my week to be filled with. And how many dragon bones do you have stored in the basement now?"

"A bunch," I admitted. "I've been told you can fashion weapons and armor out of them and some day I want to learn that skill."

"You'll probably have the chance," she mused. "What with Alduin threatening, and now this? And there have been more skirmishes around Whiterun. More pressure on the Empire from the Stormcloaks. You know if you joined General Tullias, you could change this. How many Nords would join the Imperial forces if they knew the Dragonborn was fighting for the Empire?"

"I have no illusions about the number of people who drink the mead I drink simply because it's the mead I drink," I sighed. "But I made that oath. I live and breath a Stormcloak until my head flies off my body. I can offer the Empire no aid."

"But you made that oath when you thought . . ."

"Even if I truly had thought wrong, I still made the oath. What is my word if I don't keep it? No, I didn't get my head chopped off, but how often does that actually happen in real life? Oh yeah, we've heard of the execution which is delayed by this or that circumstance and the Emperor grants freedom to the condemned since the execution failed. But when does that happen? Once in a hundred years? If I want to find an excuse to break my oath Jordis, I don't need a dragon attack to do it. But if I want to keep my oaths because I value my word? Not even Alduin dissolves the bound."

"And you are such a crazy man for being that way," said Sofia walking out of the bedroom dressed in her red and black adventure leathers. She sat in my lap and put her arms around my neck. "Valentine," she sighed. I looked into those big sapphire blue eyes of hers, I gazed upon the sprinkling of freckles underneath them on the tops of her cheeks. And then I kissed that full pinked lipped mouth of hers. Then she got up and faced Jordis. "I like hearing him keeping crazy promises he made," she said. And then she proceeded to head down the stairs.

I glanced at Jordis who looked at me curiously. "Her first love didn't keep his promises and those betrayals were more than a little devastating to her," I explained.

Jordis paused to digest this, then nodded. "That then makes sense," she said.

We both got up and headed down the stairs. I could hear Sofia chatting with Serana.

"So what's the plan?" asked Serana as the two of us came up to start getting breakfast ready. Sofia was busy slicing bread off the loaf and I was pulling the sausages from off the hooks. Jordis began slicing the cheese off the wheel.

"Well today I'm starting with a trip up to the Blue Palace to get Jarl Elisif caught up on what's happening and then over to the temple to fetch something from Potema's catacombs," I began.

"What's down there?" asked Sofia.

"A very nice coffin which I thought Serana would appreciate. We can put it in one of the other basement rooms so Jordis gets some privacy back."

"That's very nice of you," said Serana with a mischievous smile. "But what about Jordis' feelings? We've been roomies and getting along so nicely."

"Oh . . . That's okay Serana. I won't mind," suggested Jordis, perhaps a bit too eagerly for any of us not to notice.

"You sure?"

"I'm very sure."

"You won't think I don't like you any more?"

"Oh don't worry about that, Serana."

"I don't want you feeling awkward or anything . . ."

"Move Out Of The Room Already!"

"Well if you insist."

I put out glasses, the pewter ones this time since that thick blood potion was rather disconcerting at meal time. I poured a dollop of mead into each of the cups and then filled Jordis', Sofia's and mine with water. Serana poured her own. Sofia took a sip of her cup as Jordis was putting out the plates.

"You call this breakfast mead?" she enquired.

"Your idea of breakfast mead is mead straight," I observed. "Bad idea for breakfast. Drink your water like a good girl."

"I'm not your daughter," she replied.

"Nope, you're my wife. So I get to tell you what to do."

"Like oblivion you do!"

"Oh I'm afraid so, it's in the contract."

"There was no contract!"

"Oh yes there was. It's not my fault you were too drunk to remember signing it."

"You were just as drunk and you don't remember it either!"

"No buy my father told me there was when I was but a lad and I believe him."

"So you're going to throw your great relationship with your father in my face again?"

"Of course, it annoys you so much."

"Just because you think you can tell me what to do doesn't mean I'm going to do it!"

"Yes," I replied smiling at Sofia's frown. "You won't. But I won't stop because I love you. So there. Nyah!"

Serana was quietly watching the back and forth while taking sips from her goblet. Jordis simply was putting away the food in a manner that only a hard fighting soldier can. She paused to look up. "Morning fight over, my thane?" she queried.

"Looks like it," I replied. I started to eat trying to ignore the fact that Sofia was glowering at me as she ate her own breakfast. It was an interesting expression of emotion. She would take a very deliberate bite, as if she was trying to inflict as much pain on the bread, sausage, and cheese as possible and then slightly violently wham the food on the pewter plate rather than put it down. She would then just stare at me while chewing. Once she swallowed, she would tightly grab the goblet and take a very deliberate drink. And then once again snatch her food and start the ritual all over again.

Serana watched this for a moment. "So this is love," she mused.

Jordis lost it, then I lost it. Sofia briefly struggled between her intense desire to remain angry and then she burst into giggles as well. We ate for another moment or two.

"How are we going to plan the day my thane?" queried Jordis.

"Okay, Sofia? Serana? Which would you prefer? Court and Coffin run with me or shopping for food with Jordis?"

"I'll shop with Jordis," offered Sofia. "You know I love spending your money."

"Now Sofia, you forget that as we are married, all my money is your money now as well."

"Well I have been thinking about that. I have a hard time spending my money, but I have no trouble spending yours. So I found that if I think I'm spending your money when we shop, I won't be annoyed at how expansive my tastes are," she offered.

I turned to Serana. I mean seriously, what was I going to say to Sofia after that?

"Getting a coffin? Did you have any doubts?" she queried.

And so that was settled, dishes were washed and put away, and warm furry cloaks were donned and we set out into the windy slightly snowing weather.

"This is that beautiful Skyrim weather everyone talks about isn't it," sighed Serana pulling her hood down not so much because the sun was bothering her. As the sky was overcast she was not experiencing that much discomfort. The problem was that due to the fact that she had no internal body heat, she didn't feel cold. Accordingly it had not dawned on her to wear anything. And as a consequence, she was feeling the lashing of the wind and snow without the protection of that extra layer of fur. I paused and sighed.

"Why do I feel like a father with two errant daughters," I groaned.

"Oh great now you're going to be my daddy too? Didn't I explain my father issues with you already?"

"If you like, you can be my kid sister and then I get to punch you," I retorted. "We're going back to Proudspire and getting you a right and decent cloak which will make you a little less conspicuous?"

"Well I won't refuse an effort to make me look pretty," she concluded.

"You're already attractive Serana," I replied with a sigh.

"Thanks, I appreciate that you know. Given my eye color and dental issues, I worry sometimes."

"That's just the problem," I groaned. "It merely adds to your mystique. But that comes as no surprise. Depending on the type of vampire, you all end up either very beautiful and seductive, or rather hideous."

"So I take it I'm the former and not the latter?"

I could hear the smile in her voice as we walked back into the manor. "I'll let you guess that one," I replied. I turned to where the cloak rack was and began rummaging through the cloaks we had. Most of them were a bit tattered thanks to the fact that they had received a few firebolts and arrows and sword swipes. But I found a nice black one which was leather with a fur skin interior and more thick fur lining around the edges. "Here you go," I said offering it to her.

"You're not going to fit it on me like a good daddy?"

"You're doing this on purpose aren't you?"

"Do I have to answer that?"

"Turn around girl," I said as she dutifully obeyed. I placed the cloak upon her shoulders and turned her around and tied it in front. "Be grateful you are not Sofia," I continued. "You would get a swat on the posterior for this behavior."

"Oh?" She paused. "Yes, that would be rather undignified. Okay I'll behave now. I've just not had friends for in what seems like . . . well it pretty much was, forever. . . . Is there a mirror I can look at?"

"Nothing full length," I replied with a sigh. "Can't afford that just yet. But check upstairs in our bedroom."

She scurried off and I leaned against the door just waiting. It seemed longer though I suspect it was only a few seconds before she came back persuaded that she looked good in the cloak and we once more pushed into the wind and snow. But now having only taken a few steps, I placed my hand on her shoulder and leaned in.

"See that woman over there on the side?" I asked in a low voice next to her ear.

"Yes, I see her now. She's a vampire," answered Serana only allowing her eyes to shift slightly in that direction, but keeping her facing and posture otherwise strictly unchanged.

"Notice she has a cloak, but like you she has not bothered to wrap it around herself like the rest of us?"

"Ah, so that's how you noticed her that quickly."

"Don't wrap your cloak just yet," I said. "She'll likely notice. But what do you say you stand here for a bit and find something to amuse yourself with, you know, watch the guys in the tight collars strutting by while I sneak around behind her and try to catch her."

"Val? You're very competent but she'll rip your throat out just on strength alone."

"Paralysis poison on a dagger? All it takes is a scratch."

"Won't work either."

"Walk up and say 'hi' and invite her for a drink?"

"Very funny, Val. Do you have any idea how I would interpret such an invitation?"

"Now that I think of it, that was a very bad idea. I'm stuck for inspiration."

"How about giving me a nice formal Imperial goodbye and head on over to the food plaza where your Sofi and Jordis are shopping, probably rather dramatically at the wine booth, and then I'll head on over in a few moments after I 'fancy' a young guy with some very delicious smelling blood and we'll see who she follows."

"Right," I said, leaning in and brushing her cheek with mine. It was a very cold cheek I might add, and then I turned and headed back towards the west end of town. It was a couple of blocks. The wind was seriously whipping through the streets and there were brief flurries of snow. I wrapped up my cloak even more tightly and looked about. There was no sign of the vampire. When I got to where the food was sold, Sofia was busy negotiating with the fish monger for five pounds of smoked salmon. Jordis was standing behind her with several burlap bags at her feet.

"Sofi?" I said looking at all those bags. "Don't take Jordis' oath to bear my burdens as a license to break some world record or other."

"But we need so many party supplies," argued Sofia. "You're being inducted tomorrow morning first thing. I was talking with Falk when he came by and found out. We have to celebrate afterwards. I have my invitation all rehearsed and ready."

"I see," I sighed. "So did you buy up all the mead in Solitude?"

"We'd run out of money long before that," answered Sofia. "And then we would have nothing to eat with it."

"But you tried didn't you?"

"Damn it, how did you know?"

"You clearly showed knowledge of the total value of the mead in town, and compared it to our funds."

It was at this point that Serana came up.

"She didn't follow you, nor did she follow me," answered Serana. "Val? I don't feel good about this. I think she's watching the house, which means she's looking for a way in."

"Serana, wrap yourself up!" muttered Sofia walking over and pulling Serana's cloak over her. "Like this, or you'll freeze to death."

There was a moment while Serana worked at imitating the three of us with our cloaks wrapped up.

"Seriously girl," I said. "Can you get so cold that you might freeze solid?"

"I don't know," answered Serana. "I've never been in the cold that long for that to happen. I mean heat from other sources is absorbed by my body and only radiates out as temperatures fall. If the temperature rises, I get warmer."

"This is all besides the point," observed Jordis. "Didn't Serana say something about someone watching the house?"

"Yes," I added. "There's a vampire staking out the house."

"Then let's kill her," suggested Sofia.

"I really would prefer capturing her and finding out what she's up to," I sighed.

"I doubt she's smart enough to know how to surrender," sighed Serana. "But we can try."

There was a brief plan of attack based on where the vampire was supposed to be stalking. The plan was simple enough. Sofia and I would walk back to the house and when we were in the Vampire's line of sight, we would pause and whisper to each other and giggle. Then Sofia would commence to nibble at my neck. We figured that would get the girl's attention. While this was going on, Serana and Jordis would sneak up behind and tackle the women, with Serana going for the top while Jordis going for the legs. The plan seemed solid enough. But we overlooked one salient detail. The entire operation hinged on the vampire remaining in that spot staking out the house. By the time we started maneuvering into position, it became obvious that the woman had vanished.

"I hate it when that happens," sighed Sofia.

She and Jordis went back to their shopping and since Falk had already informed us as to the installation of Thane, I headed over to the temple to dive into Potema's Catacombs where I recalled a very high class coffin resting against a wall somewhat into the ruins. The first snag came when Serana got to the threshold of the temple and froze. It took her a second but, gritting her teeth, she crossed over with the help of me pushing from the back, as opposed to backside as that would have been rather inappropriate, and with a very rapid walk, followed me to the basement where she visibly relaxed. We proceeded through the catacombs to the location where I had remembered the coffin to be resting. Nothing had managed to move into the catacombs since Sofia and I had cleared it out back in the summer so it was a very relaxed stroll to the were the coffin was, still leaning up against the stone wall. It was just as dusty as it was the last time we had passed, but having snagged a few bundles of old linen along the way, I was able to wipe it down and bring it up to some semblance of clean.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I like the rustic quality, good wood work, and that snuggly feel," answered Serana.

"Snuggly" I asked. "Teddy bears are snuggly."

"To you maybe, but I like sleeping in a coffin."

"Why?" I asked. I was highly curious. "Why would anyone like sleeping in a coffin?"

"Well, I just feel at peace when I'm enclosed in a coffin."

"A coffin, not a box?"

"Yes, box doesn't do it. I've tried. It has to be a coffin."

I looked at the coffin for a moment and then sighed.

"Val?"

"Damn it we're going to have to lug that thing all the way back . . ."

Serana smiled and just lifted it over her head. I was reminded that she was preternaturally strong. And showing off. Granted it was going to solve some of the problems, but there remained getting it back home.

"Okay Miss Smarty, you think the temple isn't going to call the Vigilants when you walk through the middle of the sanctuary doing that?"

"Val? I'm sorry but that temple frightens me. I can't explain it. I won't be able to do anything other than get through it as fast as I can.

I thought about it for a moment.

"Okay, we'll get it to the basement and then we'll get you through the temple and you head on home. I'll get it to the house."

Serana nodded, carried it back to the basement, humming a chipper tune on occasion just to remind me that it was no big burden for her. Of course it was also a piece of new furniture for the house and it was for her and she was like a kid with a new toy. You could see the 'mine' all over her expression. We reached the basement, she put the coffin down, and with a little help by holding on to my arm and me sort of dragging her along, we got through the temple. Once we were back across the threshold, she was relaxed again and she scurried off back to the house. I walked back into the temple, knelt before Akatosh and said a simple prayer or two then got up and tracked down the priests and priestesses. Sure enough, after a brief somewhat fictional explanation, the two priests picked up the coffin and one of the priestesses came along with me and we headed back to the house.

Serana was there when we came in but Sofia and Jordis had not gotten back yet.

The Priestess looked at Serana for a moment with an expression of concern.

"Yes," I said. "This is my poor sick sister who is at death's door and we don't know if she'll survive the week. So we got your coffin dear, this is what we'll bury you in. What do you think."

Serana looked at the priests and priestesses and then paused to examine the coffin.

"I think *dainty cough* that it will be perfect *delicate cough* Val. You are such a sweet *demure cough* brother I don't know what I would do without you *polite cough*"

"You poor dear," exclaimed the priestess who took Serana's hands in hers. "My dear your face is so pale and you are so cold! And your eyes, oh how can you stand?"

"I have strength to stand for special *cough cough* occasions. And I wanted to see what Val would get for me, but thank you. When I get to Sovengard, I'll be sure *very dainty and delicate cough* to ask the gods to look over you."

The priestess gave her a sympathy hug and she and the two priests left. Serana waited until they were gone and then she hefted up the coffin and headed off further into the basement.

"You have a spot I presume?" I queried, with a slight shake of the head as I started to follow her.

"Yes I do," she answered.

She put the coffin in the center of the enchanting room. It was a large room and there was way more space than need be. So it was a perfect filler for the exact center. She set it down and with my help, we adjusted it. I paused to look at it for a moment while Serana fitted herself inside it and with a few little shifts of her body, literally snuggled in and grinned at me.

"A happy vampire," I mused. "Who would have thunk it."

"Yes," she sighed.

"What I think I will do is build a frame around that coffin, and a hinged table top over it so that when you are not here, there will be no coffin in visual view. And you can just close up those lids and sleep the day away.

"Can I have some pillows?"

"Of course," I replied. I went upstairs to get them and that's when the basement door opened and Sofia came in holding a small bag while Jordis hauled in close to a dozen. She was followed by a lad with a stack of cases of mead. The lad spied the coffin but as Serana kept in it and didn't rise up, the lad seemed to have confused it with a long box and there was no screaming terror quality to his exit after the septim tip. I returned to the basement with the pillows and walked over to the coffin only to discover that Serana was already asleep, or dead. You really couldn't tell the difference, there was no facial expression at all. I was shortly joined by Jordis and Sofia who were both curious as to why I was staring at a coffin.

"See what I mean?" queried Jordis.

"Serana?" asked Sofia. "You awake?"

She was perfectly still. It was as if we were not there at all.

"I thought she was a light sleeper," mused Jordis. "She always seemed up the moment I made any noise in the bedroom."

"I suspect that for the first time since she's left the castle she's getting some real sleep," I sighed. Rightly suspecting that there would be almost no difference between her sleep and death, I had Jordis gently lifted her head while I adjusted the pillow behind it, and then we put the other two pillows under her arms so she was laid out like a very contented corpse. As far as it's possible for a corpse to look contented, which they can't at all look like. But if they could, I was certain she would have looked like that. We spent the next few hours unpacking all the food and drink and setting things in order. Then we just sat by the fire for a few moments and fought off yet another wave of fatigue. Jordis left to go down stairs and I presumed she flopped out on her bed. Sofia and I leaned on each other and looked at the fire in the place.

"This is so surreal," she sighed. "I keep waiting for a skeever to bite me on the face and I wake up in a cave."

"Sudden changes in fortune do that," I replied. "Until it happens so often you get used to it. I went from rich to poor to rich to poor to rich so many times I've learned to take it in stride. I'm hoping that we have passed the last switch and we'll remain rich, but then again, before this is all over with, I could be dead from an Alduin bite."

"Don't you dare," she said.

I looked out the windows, a futile gesture since they were so frosted you could not see out of them. The light glowing through was already looking dim.

"It's late afternoon or early evening," I said.

"Early evening," suggested Serana walking up behind us. "I can tell the moment the sun sets." She paused to stretch. "Sorry about that. I just suddenly felt so sleepy and it was such a nice feeling to be in that coffin I just nodded off. Thanks for putting the pillows in, they are just right. Are we going to take a day to make new blood potions? Those we made last time have actually gotten better tasting."

"I've got that in our schedule," I said. "Of course we'll also need to do other things. I'm thinking given our demands, it might be a good idea to secure a wagon."

"With what?" asked Sofia. "Val, we're down to just over three hundred septims."

"I guess we walk then," I sighed. "With backpacks all a clinking with potions."

That decided, we made ourselves a light supper, chatted for a few more moments, afterwards, and turned in early. Serana slipped out, I presume, after we had turned in. I didn't ask, and she didn't tell. There are some things you really don't want to know.

We got up with the sun and made love. Then we dressed in our best and prepared to head over to the palace. Serana was asleep in her coffin, but I presumed she wanted to be up for the installation and so we decided to give her sufficient nudges until she woke up. It was rather hard to do that. Apparently a vampire in a coffin sleeps like the dead, and I do mean dead. So it became obvious that sufficient nudges were not going to do the job. So we tried a tactic where I was pulling her into a seated position by her arms while Sofia was yanking on my belt from behind pulling on me. And her head just lolled to the side, but once we got her into a seated position, she began to wake up.

"You know," she observed. "Normally folks don't try to wake a vampire from her sleep."

"Hood up girl," I said. "Sun's shining bright today."

"Ew," sighed Serana.

The installation was nice and brief and to the point. Jarl Elisif made a nice little speech about how great it was to have a Dragonborn as Thane in Solitude, and short of Sofia's one aside comment which I have mentioned in a prior chapter, the ceremony went off with out a hitch and then there was a nice reception afterwards with the Bard's College providing background music. Sofia got good and drunk by the end of the reception and so she kind of leaned and swayed on me while we walked back to the house. Serana tagged along and when we got back, she promptly hopped back into her coffin and was . . . well dead would be the best descriptor in a matter of seconds. Jordis walked up and the three of us stood there looking at that completely still form for a moment.

"That is so . . . well freaky and amazing at the same time," sighed Jordis.

"Dragonborn, Bard, Thane of Whiterun, and Thane of Solitude," sighed Sofia somewhat slurred. "I know how to pick the winners don't I?"

"I do too," I agreed.

"Well naturally," answered Sofia. "You wouldn't be a winner if you didn't know which woman to fall in love with, which of course is me."

I looked at Jordis. "Afternoon off housecarl," I said. "Tomorrow we'll be hunting Elk blood all day and there will be bucket brigades."

"So I get to stagger into Solitude covered in all the blood that sloshed about?" queried Jordis with a mixture of humor and annoyance.

"Well I've got some sewn up elk skins which will hold more than a few gallons," I said. "But if anyone asks, simply suggest that if they want to see the twenty-two orcs you laid out after one of them tried to pinch your tush . . ."

Jordis nodded and flashed a grin and then headed off. I looked at Sofia. She kind of smiled at me with that drunken relaxed expression of hers.

"So what did you think of the installation and reception?" I asked.

"So that was kind of fun I guess. Let's just go and find something else to do. What do married couples do anyway?" queried Sofia with an almost entirely innocent expression.

"Allow me to demonstrate," I said, scooping her up in my arms. I proceeded towards the stairs.

"I could get used to this," suggested Sofia, who was drunk enough to like the idea of being carried someplace and still dizzy enough to appreciate the floaty feeling.

I carried her into the bedroom and we 'found something else to do' for the rest of the afternoon.

The next two days were a frenzy of activity. Serana's body kept trying to get into a proper vampire sleep schedule, that is, in the coffin all day, up all night. And the adventuring lifestyle did not lend itself to that at all. But the coffin did clearly have an impact. She was literally next to impossible to wake up when in that thing, if the sun was up. If the sun was down, she slept lightly and was awake with a single whistle or name call. So the next day we got up, got dressed, woke her up, and went out where the fury and calm spells pulled in the elk and we harvested. We gathered close to thirty gallons but when Serana was done with her sampling we were down to twenty-two. Sofia had found way to slip close to a dozen mead bottles in her garments, thanks to the fact that the party had been in the Blue Palace and refreshments provided by the Jarl and not us. So she figured that mead should not just lie around getting dusty. As you might have ascertained, she was a bit tipsy by the end of the day as well. Jordis just hauled with Serana and sighed. At the end of the day I observed that Jordis had not seemed to have even taken a sip of water.

"Someone had to show restraint, my thane," she replied in a manner not entirely bereft of annoyance.

The next morning I was over to Abigail's Aromatics for the supplies I had requested the day prior. She had everything bagged and bottled for me and I paid her for the supplies and we were back to the basement where the smell of the blood being converted into blood potions woke up Serana. It was good to have her helping, in spite of the fact that she was 'sampling' constantly. Sofia started getting grouchy since she had woken up with a hangover, and while I had given her my remedy, she still was in a bad mood because when it came down to it, she hated any prolonged work in which she was not an immediate beneficiary. So she started snapping and Jordis started snapping back at her and the two of them bit and nipped at each other all day with words while Serana and I looked at each other and shrugged. But the job got done an hour after sunset. We went upstairs to the kitchen and began to make a vegetable soup supper. I pulled the pot which had been simmering all day off the hook and set it on the table and began to scoop the soup out while Jordis began slicing the bread and Sofia commenced filling the goblets with mead. Serana sat there on the side and watched the entire affair with interest.

"I never saw my mother cooking," she observed.

"Fancy that," I mused.

It was at this point that I felt a draught coming in from the side room which exited out to the porch. I stood up and looked. The door was open, and there was at least three vampires looking in and not at all friendly about it.

"Very clever picking the one entrance that no one on the street would notice!" I shouted as it called up my magic and they began to pile in. "Very stupid since there won't be any innocents behind you to make me choose less deadly spells!" I finished unleashing the fireball which exploded just outside the door and engulfed the entire pack. I figured that would attract a bit of curiosity on the guards part.

"I just swept that!" screamed Jordis pulling out the blade of Haafinger I had given her, courtesy of Jarl Elisif. It was supposed to be my badge of office. But two handed blades were never my forte.

"This won't end well for you," advised Serana likewise unleashing her magic.

"Oh I love a challenge," cried Sofia. "I guess you'll have to do though."

I shifted to the left of Jordis and let off a combination of wards and fire bolts while Jordis stood in the center and swung her blade to deadly effect. To Jordis's right Sofia was incinerating with her staff and hacking with her blade. And behind us all was Serana busy with her magic. There were a total of eight of them and they kept pushing in. We began to back up. The first vampire was a young overconfident fellow who found himself collapsing into a pile of dust right after Jordis's blade sunk from his shoulder blade to the center of his chest. The guy on his right began to parry with his blade while draining Jordis with his vampiric powers. I began to cover him in flame with both hands cupped. Serana on the other hand, began to drain him with her own powers.

"Traitor!" he screamed at her before he collapsed into dust.

Two down, six to go. And I was out of magic. I had to step back and pull my dagger out. I don't, as a habit, carry magicka potions with me when I'm at my home and making supper.

"Cast your iron flesh!" screamed Sofia.

"With what!" I screamed back.

"Don't you DARE die on me Valentine!" she shouted back.

Damn it damn it damn it, I leapt in and slashed and the next thing I knew I had one who had slipped by the vampire who was keeping Jordis busy and was now directly targeting me. I had no armor, and I had no magicka. But I had a chair. I danced to the side, picked it up and starting to whack at him with it.

I am not trained with a chair (is anyone really?) and it showed. But what it did do was hold him off while my magicka recovered. The problem was that my health was not recovering from his draining. The only thing I had going for me was the fact that I kept knocking his arm about with the chair. That kept me somewhat alive so that in a few more seconds, I was able to toss the chair at him, then cast a three spell combo. First, ironskin, then healing, and then flames to the face. That was going to cover me for the next fifteen seconds, but a lot can happen in fifteen seconds. By then Sofia had killed the one she was facing, while Jordis had dealt with the one she had been fighting. Four down and four to go. They were obviously beginning to panic but as there were now four of us, not all of them could exactly bolt and run for it. However as Serana and I were both fighting from a distance, being mages, Sofia and Jordis could only pin two down, so the two that were targeted by me and Serana were able to dash through the door and into the porch where they ran right smack into the guards who had naturally been inclined to investigate the very loud boom which the fireball had made.

"Take one of them alive!" I shouted. More if they're smart enough to surrender!"

"I yield! I yield!" screamed the woman facing Jordis.

"Face on the ground!" shouted Jordis and the woman promptly complied. Serana walked over and dragged her by her feet away from the combat zone while the final vampire, warding with both hands, backed into the door way and was run through from the back by one of the four or more guards who had already taken out the other two.

Jordis was back with a broom and dustpan while Sofia began to pick up the clothing and weapons which was all that was left of the five vampires who had died inside the house.

"Don't forget," I said to Jordis and Sofia. "Once we have found out what this vampire was up to, we head over to the temple for blessings to get any potentially vampiric diseases removed."

"Everything okay, Thane Florian?" queried one of the guards.

"Got it," I said. "I might have a vampire to turn over to you here shortly," and then I paused for dramatic impact. "Unless she decides to cooperate. In which case we'll escort her to the gates and kick her in the direction of Castle Volkihar. Which, I suspect, is where she came from." I turned to look at her. She was not a pretty sight, her brows were horribly swollen, her nose pudgy and her cheeks sunken. "Serana? Would you get one of those blood potions for her?"

"But!" objected Serana with a 'those are mine' expression all over her features.

I didn't let her finish. I gave her a look which suggested a lot of things, chief of which was the reminder that a selfish attitude towards your food was the mark of an emerging predator. She picked up on that and scurried off to grab one of the potions. When she returned, I gave it to the woman who gulped it down greedily. The transformation was almost immediate. Her features softened out and I found myself looking at a young wood elf.

"How did you turn?" I asked.

"They caught me sneaking around the castle. Threw me into the prison and were making me into a thrall, but I knew how to hide, even in a jail cell with other people. Of course over the next few weeks I got bitten a few times and so I transformed. They found out when they found all the people in the cell with me dead from my drinking them. Then they inducted me into the court. That was several hundred years ago, I think."

"Alright," I continued. "What were your orders?"

"To bring Serana back to her father. He misses her," she replied with a bit of snark.

"Her? Or the Elder Scroll?" I continued.

"I think you all know what he's really after . . . What we are all really after."

"Incidentally," I continued. "How does he propose to read it since there is no Moth Priest in Skyrim?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but then it seemed that something in the back of her brain kicked her in the tush and she suddenly paused before saying, "I don't know. My orders were merely to return with Serana and the Elder Scroll."

"Okay," I said. "You get to live tonight. We escort you through the town and out the gates. You come back into town afterwards and we kill you if we spot you. I'm Dawnguard, and I normally kill vampires on sight, got it? And you're going to be giving Lord Harkon a message. You will inform him that I was not prepared to fight him since he was the father of a friend of mine and I value kinship. I was even prepared to overlook his declaration that I would be prey. But since he has decided that he's going to treat me as such, I will be treating him as a monster to be killed, he and his entire court, save those ally themselves to his daughter. He's a Lord? I'm a Thane. Not as high an honor but I doubt his title will stop my firebolts or arrows."

She nodded. We walked to the front door, and she followed. I stepped out, then Sofia, then she, then Jordis and Serana. A few moments later, thanks to the fact that I was a Thane, I ordered the city gates to be opened for her.

"You are banished," I said to her, imitating Harkon's voice as best I could.

Her eyes widened with recognition and she dashed out. I could spy her running like Gunmar's armored trolls were in hot pursuit as the gates closed behind her.

"Think she'll try to sneak back in later?" asked Jordis.

"If she wants to die real fast," answered Sofia.

"So what tomorrow?" continued Jordis.

"We pack for a quick trip," I replied.

"How?" asked Serana. "I thought Cyrodiil was days travel away."

"We won't be going to Cyrodiil, there's a Moth Priest somewhere in Skyrim," I observed.

"How could you . . . ?"

"She let it slip," I said. "She almost bragged about it but caught herself at the last second. That expression was enough to clue me in."

"How are we going to find a Moth Priest in Skyrim?" asked Serana.

"We ask around," I said. "And once we pick up his trail we follow it like a well heeled Black Marsh blood hound."

"Intriguing sounding dog," observed Serana.

"Big tongues that slobber all over you," objected Sofia.

"But it has fangs right?"

"You would be interested in that."

"What if the trail leads us to my father's castle?"

"We get to rescue him," I said.

"Storming a castle?" asked Sofia, her sarcasm starting to bubble. "So we get to have fun? Ah, and I thought it was going to be a challenge."

It looked like our latest adventure had taken a new twist.


	16. Chapter 16 - A Song for Dexion

"Sofia?" I asked. I had woken up in our soft fluffy bed and there she was next to me, breathing softly and asleep.

"Huh? Wha? Oh my head . . . massage my head Valentine," was her wake up groan.

Yes, she had drunk a gallon or so of mead the night before while Serana had consumed at least twice that much in blood potions 'to keep her company'. I began to gently kneed her temples while she just lay there. She looked, as usual, incredibly beautiful. I can't explain it. There was just something about all the stuff on her face and how it was artfully arranged that made it something I could not stop looking at.

"I was thinking, you know, it's our last wake up in our bed for a bit," I began.

"I've got a headache."

"And it will be a few days to find that Moth Priest and . . ."

"I've really got a headache."

"I was kind of hoping we could make love in our bed one last time . . ."

"Valentine my head is pounding, ow! It hurts to even tell you it hurts. No! Ow!"

"Okay," I sighed. "I'll get the hangover remedy ready."

"Not yet Valentine, I need my head rubbed. I need my back scratched."

"Yes yes, you have needs . . ."

"Yeah."

"And mine don't count . . ."

"Yeah."

"Why do I love you, Sofi?"

"Because I'm irresistible," was her irritated sleepy reply.

And that was exactly the problem. She was, as far as I was concerned, irresistible. So I spent ten minutes scratching her back and massaging her temples, then I got up, left her in the bed on her stomach, with her face buried in the pillows, her arms clutching both sides of the bed, and the sheets sort of covering her from mid thighs down. It was not exactly the most sensual pose, even though she was wearing absolutely nothing, for she had a rather prominent dark pink pimple on her right . . . Um . . . I think I need not elaborate any further. I simply threw a long quilted robe over my night shirt, slipped some shoes on, and stepped out of the bedroom and proceeded down the stairs to the basement where the alchemy lab was. I passed Serana, dead as usual, in her coffin and knocked on Jordis' bedroom door. "Up and almost into my armor, my thane," was her reply.

"Gotta make the morning remedy for Sofia, can you wake Serana?"

"I can make a heroic and valiant try, but I promise nothing," replied Jordis.

I began the hangover remedy and a few seconds later I heard the "Hi YAH!" from Jordis who was pulling Serana up by her arms. Serana was doing the corpse thing quite convincingly, her head and body were was as totally submissive to the suggestions of gravity as possible. I smiled and worked a bit more on the remedy.

"Hnnnnnng!" continued Jordis who was still holding Serana up. But as luck would have it, Serana was pulled a bit to far forward and so she slumped back into the coffin on top of her knees and legs.

"Gotta be some way to wake the dead," muttered Jordis. She reached down and began to work Serana onto her shoulders and started to lift her out of the coffin.

"My, Jordis, I had no idea you felt this way," suggested Serana with a bit of smile in her voice.

Jordis paused for a second to catch her breath. "Time to get up," she suggested with a very good mastery of her temper.

Serana sighed. "It was such a nice dream, he was big, handsome, and refused to run out of blood."

"Hate it when that happens," I suggested trying to sound sympathetic.

"I suppose the sun's out."

"Shining brightly and brilliantly," added Jordis who had a slightly sadistic grin on her face.

Serana sighed.

I finished the hangover remedy and walked back upstairs and gave it to Sofia who, with a Woo! and Whoa! after her first and second gulps respectively was up and ready to take on the world. We got dressed and while Sofia was busy packing up the undergarments for us into our respective backpacks, I wend back downstairs to begin breakfast. There was a knock on the door. I opened it, and there was one of the cities respective orphans with the milk order.

"Cold day today," he suggested as I tipped him a septim. The milk gave me an idea, and I went back to the kitchen and got out the flour, a couple of eggs, and with the milk began to mix up a batter. After melting a scoop of butter on the pan, I poured the batter out on the pan and began to cook it.

"What are you doing?" queried Jordis.

"Trying out something I saw them do in Anvil once," I replied.

Some sort of Khajit dish?" She asked.

Her grasp of Tamriel geography was typical of people who spent their whole lives living in one spot. I shook my head. I managed to get the spatula under the rising cake and turn it over. It stuck a little to the pan, but the butter had given it some lubrication. I flipped it a few more times and then put it on a plate.

"Try it and see what it tastes like," I suggested.

Jordis, being a house carl and soldier, was not the sort to let some alien dish which only _might_ be edible stop her from trying to eat it. She ripped it in two and began to take bites.

"Needs jam," she suggested.

I handed her the jar and proceeded to cook up the rest of the batter. Sofia came down, saw Jordis eating them, and presumed it was some Imperial breakfast dish I was making and started to eat them as well. Then Serana came up, watched us, got curious, took a bite, then took out a blood potion, poured a bit of it into a bowl, dipped her cake into it, and proceeded to eat it as well. The bloody texture of the potion put off my appetite a bit but it struck me as rude to suggest that Serana eat somewhere else. There is something human about having meals together and again, I was reminded that Serana was, by this action of eating with us, holding on to her humanity.

Breakfast eaten, we pulled together all our gear, made sure our backpacks were as efficiently packed as possible and we exited out of the side basement door. Jordis locked up behind us and we set down the street. The cold hit me almost immediately and I was glad for the thick quilt padding under my Dawnguard armor. My pack precluded me wearing a cloak or cape so I was counting on the quilt and woolen flannel under layers. Sofia had a set of thick reinforced fur armor on her with an equally reinforced and thick fur hood and Serana . . . We paused and just looked at her for a moment. She gave us a 'who me?' query back and we just kept staring. She began to clearly get nervous and scanned about as if to say, 'if there's a dead body in an alleyway visible I didn't do it'. We kept staring.

"What's wrong!" she nearly shouted.

"No coat," I said. "You're standing out in freezing temperatures in your burgundy blouse with your nice black leather skirt and corset, boots and gloves, and Nothing Else."

"Oh," was her very soft and 'oops' apology. Fortunately I had remembered to put a coat for her into her backpack, so once she was bundled up, we proceeded down the street and furthermore, actually managed to get to the market plaza before any undue incident. But then . . .

"Found you at last you deceitful slut!" came a rather angry male voice as we passed Bits and Pieces.

Now granted it was rather disrespectful to do what I did next, I mean, you need to presume innocence and all that, but unfortunately, there was no curious 'who's he talking about' among us. Both Serana and I promptly looked at Sofia who was trying to project a 'can't be me he's talking about' expression on her face and doing it rather badly.

"Yes you!" he shouted walking up to her. I was already getting ready for a fight as the man had his axe out. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Serana licking her lips. The misty red of her vampiric magic was already forming on her flexing fingers.

"I don't know who you are and even if I did I'm sure it was a misunderstanding and besides I had nothing to do with it and I'm certain perhaps we can come to an arrangement since you look kind of handsome and there's a tavern we can talk it over with just over on the other side of the street a few paces down," came Sofia's rapid patter.

"Before we get blood over this nice freshly cleaned street," I proposed to the man. "Can you perhaps elaborate why you would think my wife is a deceitful slut?"

"Wife?" queried the Nord. "You think she's your wife? What sort of stunt did she pull on you?"

"That would take a while to explain," I replied. "So best you just tell us your side of the story."

"We were adventuring in Chillwind depths," began the Nord.

"Chillwind? What Chillwind?" suggested Sofia.

"The one that's a cave which was packed with all those Falmer south of Dragonbridge," replied the Nord in a slow heavy breathy tone. His fingers got more firm upon the haft of his axe and it was half raised.

"Oh! THAT Chillwind," was Sofia's recovery.

"And?" I suggested. I needed to keep this Nord talking so we could hopefully come to something less violent as a solution. Even so Serana was looking at me as if to say "Can I eat him now please? I said please."

"We found a heap of gold and jewelry," he continued. "Not to mention some very good Chitin armor which would fetch a good price among certain collectors and this bitch made a little friendly sounding wager with me after we cleared the ruins."

"And what were the terms of this wager?" I queried. I had my suspicions.

"We would drink and if I passed out first, she got her pick of the treasure. If she passed out first, I got to sleep with her."

"So you passed out and she ran off with the good stuff right?" I ended the story.

"NO! She left me with nothing!"

"What was wrong with that?" argued Sofia rather unconvincingly from my perspective. "I won the pick and I picked all of it."

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"The way I see it, this bitch owes me 3,000 Septims.

"3,000? That's robbery! The entire loot only came to 1,634 Septims!" was Sofia's retort.

"Oh great," I sighed looking at Sofia. "You remembered that did you?" I turned to the man. "Seriously, if the total came to 1,634, then all she owes you is 817."

"I spent close to 2,000 just tracking her down so I could get what she owes me!" snarled the man. "And the rest is payment for the time I spent trying to follow her trail."

"Okay I understand," suggested Sofia. "You think I cheated you and you want fair compensation. It's alright, there's no harm done. This is Valentine, my loving husband, and he'll be happy to pay you the full amount."

She looked at me and smiled sweetly. I closed my eyes for a second and silently prayed to Stendarr, the god of Justice for inspiration. And then to Mara for the grace to not strangle Sofia right there on the spot.

"I have only 50 Septims on me," I said in a low annoyed voice. "And we're only just at 283 total for our entire wealth!" I continued in a slightly higher tone.

"Then I'll take it from your HIDE!" cried the Nord who raised his axe to strike.

The question remains if his claim was totally justified and he was just that angry or if he had been looking for a fight the whole time. We'll never know. Serana was already casting her Vampiric draining spells, his axe was parried by the casting of my ward spell, and Sofia pulled her blade and took his head off.

"You wasted his blood," sighed Serana looking downcast at Sofia.

"Everything alright Thane Florian?" queried the guard who had just walked up and gave the body a quick examination.

"Pretty much," I answered, "You saw he started it right?"

"I didn't but I always take a thane's word for it," replied the guard.

"I could get used to this," suggested Sofia in a manner which warned of future mischief. "What?" she said a few seconds later after I had been staring at her for the duration.

I shook my head and we proceeded out the gate and down the road towards Dragon Bridge. For the next few hours we quietly walked as the weather remained cold and blustery and then became overcast. The occasional snow flurry would scatter white flakes through the air around us but dressed in warm furs made by Nords who knew what they were warding off most intimately, we remained comfortable. At least Sofia and I. Serana didn't feel cold at all, but she didn't like the daylight, even though the sky had gotten overcast from the morning.

"What day is it?" she asked as the road descended into the vale where the town of Dragon's Bridge spread out before us.

"Fredas, 28th of Sun's Dusk," I replied.

Serana was quiet for a moment. "That means I've been out of the tomb now for 22 days," she mused. "Just over three weeks. How odd. So much has changed already."

"From your perspective," I answered. "For me things have been a bit less traumatic."

"Less traumatic?" queried Sofia, with a bit of tease in her voice, "Nearly getting your head chopped off, fighting dragons, getting proclaimed Dragonborn, being seduced by me . . ."

"Are you suggesting that being seduced by you was traumatic for me?" I queried with a grin.

"It was for me," retorted Sofia.

"I thought the panic was from waking up and discovering you had married me," I suggested.

"That was part of the seduction."

"And besides that's been since Last Seed," I continued, deciding to not comment on Sofia's answer. "All that's really been happening to us since the 6th has been dealing with the fallout from extracting Serana from the crypt."

"As if Lord Harkon wasn't creepy," muttered Sofia.

"You have a point there."

"Of course I have a point. I'm the smart one in this household."

"If you say so, Sofi."

"If you think I don't hear the sarcasm in your voice Valentine, think again."

"Of course I'll think again. Not only do I have to think for myself, I have to think for you as well."

"You are so going to get kicked when we take a break after you given me my foot-rub," she growled. "And quit smirking Serana!"

"I am not smirking, Sofi," replied Serana, a hint of twinkle in her voice. "I have been deriving entertainment from the deep intellectual conversation we've been having."

"You have?"

I stole a glance at Serana who was once again putting on her neutral face as she continued.

"Oh yes, most intellectually stimulating Sofi," she continued.

"Oh . . . Okay . . ." Sofia paused uncertain as to what Serana was actually saying. There wasn't the slightest hint of either sarcasm or sincerity in the tone.

I had my opinions on what Serana was actually thinking but she was clearly the master actress. Made sense in a way. For me, acting was a secondary skill to my music and performing. For Serana, it was essential to her survival. On one hand, it made her the perfect foil for our adventuring as she immediately picked upon the fictions I frequently had to employ to smooth things out when misunderstandings arose. Given Sofia's behavior, 'misunderstandings' were getting to be rather routine in my life experience. But it also made things troublesome in the long run. Deceit and Vampires went together like water and waves. No matter how I examined it, the fact remained that Serana depended on a certain level of deceit to keep moving among ordinary folk, and we were ordinary folk. As much as I wanted to, I could not afford to trust her entirely. This I was finding annoying because I liked her. I liked being able to trust my friends and if they were also going to be adventuring companions, I wanted to know they would be there at my back.

Sofia understood this. She knew she had to count on me to be there just as I had to count on her. Sofia's problem was that she was not above taking advantage of that. She would never betray me, but she would likewise abuse the fact that I never would betray her.

Serana on the other hand. I paused and just stared down the road. Dragon's Bridge was just in front of us. The Four Shields sign to the inn was visible.

"Valentine?" asked Sofia.

"I'm thinking," I replied.

"Well that's something new," she suggested.

"You are so asking for a smack on the tush," I answered.

"What is it about husbands that they feel the need to beat on their wives?" queried Sofia to Serana, half in jest.

"It's a man thing I suspect," replied Serana. She notice then I was looking at her somewhat intently.

"Val?" she said. "You are making me nervous looking at me that way. It's like you think . . ."

"Sorry," I said. I shook my head and we walked into Dragon's Bridge. There was a guard standing by the Four Shields Tavern. He seemed a good bet so I walked up to him and said, "You wouldn't know anything about a Moth Priest passing through would you?"

"Oh? So that was a Moth Priest," mused the Guard.

"What are the odds?" I mused to myself. I once again stole a glance at Serana. Something seemed to suggest to me that she was meant to be here with us. It made me feel a little better, at least for the moment.

"He rode through town not long ago with an escort of soldiers. They didn't stop, just headed south across the Dragon's Bridge."

"Thanks!" I said and we broke into a jog and made for the bridge.

"How long do we have to do this!" complained Sofia as soon as we were across the bridge and moving south down the road.

"For as long as it takes for us to catch up to that Priest," I replied back. "They are riding and we are walking!"

It was at this point that the sun broke through the clouds.

"I can't see well!" cried Serana. "I hate this weather!"

"I don't wanna run!" shouted Sofia.

"I hate winey girls!" I shouted back.

"I say we hog tie him and carry him on a pole between us!" proposed Sofia.

"He'll put up a fight," observed Serana. "He'll scratch and pull hair!"

"That's a girl thing!" I shouted back. "Guys punch!"

"You think I'm going to scratch you?" retorted Serana. "I don't scratch, I bite!"

"Still a girl thing!" I countered. "Ask Sofia."

"I don't bite!" retorted Sofia. "Except that time in Riften . . . And outside Rorikstead . . . And . . . Damn it!"

I would have smiled at that but things were unfolding in a manner which did not entirely surprise me but even so, it was annoying. I help up my hand as I slowed down and the girls with a sigh and pants paused. Before us was a disaster. The wagon was on it's side and the horse that was pulling it was dead. I grumbled over that. We could have used a cart and horse. There were four guards, all dead, and two vampire outfits with a bit of dust in them.

"Oh great," muttered Sofia.

Serana was sniffing at the corpses. She looked about and sighed disappointed. "Dead too long," she said.

I was busy looking for any hint as to how things had played out. Finally I found a note in the pocket of one of leather vampire outfits. It had ordered an ambush south of Dragon Bridge for the purposes of catching the Moth Priest and taking him to Forebears' Holdout.

"Where in oblivion is Forebears' Holdout," I groaned.

Serana suddenly turned to the left and faced the east. She seemed to be pointing with her nose. I heard some staccato breathing.

"The Moth Priest was bleeding when they took him," she observed. "They went this way!"

And she dashed off to down the road.

For the Vampire, it's always about blood. It's a constant drive for them. She had gotten the scent and was following it with a dogged determination which I found not a little unsettling. Just the same I was not begrudging it. She was saving us tons of time which we would have had to spend finding out where this Forebears' Holdout was. Time which we may not have. We were once again jogging down the road, but Serana was not complaining. I was glad we were in such good shape for it was a good forty five minute jog. Suddenly she veered to the right and dashed through some woods, past a standing stone, and there it was. A cave.

"Let's move quietly," I proposed once I had caught my breath. "We need to see what's up."

Sofia turned to Serana. "Do Vampires get gas?" she asked.

Serana looked at her before replying, "I beg your pardon?"

"You know, play the posterior trumpet?" continued Sofia.

"Um, no," replied Serana who's face suggested a deep need to blush but was, alas, unable to due to it's extended vampiric state. "Is there a reason why you are asking me at this juncture?"

"Good," concluded Sofia. "You crouch behind Valentine and I'll crouch behind you then."

Serana looked at me with one of those quizzical expressions which would be comical under the right circumstances due to the fact that it suggested so many possible things. I shook my head and we crept into the cave.

There is something quite odd about the various caves in Skyrim. It seems that once upon a time, some mages felt a deep seated need to fill them with ever burning candles and torches. As a result, we found our way lit for a few dozen feet before we found ourselves on a stone balcony overlooking a stream and a fort. Yes fort. Built inside a cave. I can't make these things up, people. Something about Nords and their peccadilloes. The style of the balcony suggested the same style which had been in Dimhollow. So I was of the suspicion that this had been an old Vampire hangout for some time. To the left, behind a wall which enclosed a more elevated section was a swirling white green light which seemed to enclose a set of three or four standing stones, encrusted with runes. But below that was a gate and wall and on that wall was a set of guards, thralls I suspected. I pulled out my bow, retrieved a bit of Frostbite venom which I dribbled on the tip of an arrow, and then nocked it and aimed.

"Ten'll get you fifteen he misses," suggested Sofia's whisper to Serana.

I exhaled and untensed the bow for a moment, looking back. Serana gave me a 'what are you looking at me that way for, I didn't do it' glance which I admit was entirely justified.

"Will you tell her to shut up?" I mouthed to Serana.

"You think she'll listen to me?" Serana mouthed back.

"No," I mouthed in replay.

"Then why bother," came Serana's pantomime.

"It makes me feel better," I expressed.

I turned back and watched the thrall pace the wall for a moment. Then I once again nocked the arrow and aimed. The thrall seemed to be pacing in a routine pattern. I watched him for a moment, led the arrow and then let it fly. He walked right into it's path. It hit him in the throat and with a sudden pained grunt, he stumbled and vanished. I had taken him out with one shot and that was the first time I had done that. I felt good. I turned and leaned around Serana to give Sofia a smug grin. Sofia replied by sticking her tongue out at me. Then we turned to the left just as a pair of Death Hounds came up the stairs at us. For next few moments I was busy dealing with the fact that one of them had sunk his cold teeth into my arm and was pulling quite effectively while Serana and Sofia hacked at them with their blades and magic. When that was over with my arm was a bloody mess and Serana had to turn away after she stared at the arm with a bit of deep seated hunger. I was grateful she was able to still say 'no' to the urges. But the expression suggested a very strong pull. After a few seconds of restoration magic, my arm was back in shape and we were ready to proceed. I snagged the collars of the dogs since they sold for twenty plus septims in the general shops and we wove our way up and through the fort, taking out a couple of more thralls before we worked our way up a staircase and found ourselves peaking over a low wall where we could see what I presumed was the Moth Priest, in the midst of the swirling green light and standing stones.

"How much longer can you keep this up Moth Priest?" queried what looked to be a Dark Elf Vampire. I motioned to everyone to take aim and fire on my cue. So three fire bolts were summoned up and I silently nodded the one two three loose.

"You're mind was strong," continued the Vampire. "But you're exhausted from the struggle."

I didn't hear if the Moth Priest said anything, for we were too busy standing up and unleashing double handed fire bolts. The one vampire staggered while the other drew her dagger and charged screaming "Just a taste!"

"The Gods must have been drunk when they made you," suggested Sofia who gracefully dodged the dagger swing and replied with a firebolt into the face of the one vampire. I dashed over to the side and unleashed a flame stream at the creature which engulfed it in fire. I could hear Serana behind me saying "I'm sorry it had to come to this." to the other Vampire.

"You bitch," he snarled as he staggered under the multiple dagger strikes of Serana. "Lord Harkon will have your blood in the end!"

"My father would never!" shouted Serana before the dark elf crumbled into dust.

The three of us finished off the last vampire and paused to catch our breath, or at least I did. I then looked into the swirling light. There he was, an old man, somewhat bald, his katana still at his side, which I found not a little odd, staring back at us with a glazed look in his eye. Testing the magical wall which surrounded him, I took a shot at it with an arrow, making sure the arrow would miss him should it penetrate. It was some sort of force field for the arrow simply bounced back off of it with a blunted point.

"Okay, how do we turn this off?" I asked turning to Serana and Sofia. Sofia responded with an expression which suggested she was too beautiful to have to worry about mundane details like that. Serana appeared to be thinking and glancing at the runes on the stone menhirs.

"I know what this is," she said after a moment. "We have built one's like this in the past. It's what is known as a Weystone Field. We used them to hold strong willed mortals so we might be able to enthrall them over time. There should be a stone somewhere which will deactivate it."

"Okay," I said as I began to sift through the dust of the dead vampires. Sure enough there was an egg shaped stone with the same glowing light green lines which were also on the menhirs. Then I began to look about. Turning around I noticed a set of stairs going up to a raised rock platform on which there was an altar on the edge. Figuring that might be the place, being no other option immediately presenting itself, I climbed the stairs and found that the altar had an egg shaped depression. I put the stone in the depression and the field went down.

"That worked!" shouted Sofia.

"I serve my Master's will," mumbled the Priest. "But my Master is dead, and his enemies will pay!" And he drew his Katana and attacked Sofia and Serana. Both girls had the sense to duck and in mutually exclusive directions meaning he had to pick one and that caused him to delay a second.

"Don't kill him!" I screamed leaping off the platform in and effort to get there faster. It was a bit higher drop than I should have taken for I hit the ground wrong and sprained my ankle and ended up rolling almost next to him. He naturally took advantage of the opportunity to take a whack at me with that Akaviri blade. I threw up a double handed ward spell which broke the blade's strike but broke the ward as well. It shattered like scattering pieces of glass.

"We're not stupid!" replied Serana leaping on the priest's back. Sofia tackled him and everyone fell into a big dog pile with me squirming to get on top as well.

"Who's got their hand on my breast? Take it off NOW!" shouted Serana.

"Valentine!" screamed Sofia.

"Not me!" I shouted back, grabbing Sofia's tush with both hands and giving it a pair of firm pinches. Strictly to let her know where my hands were of course.

"Wait, stop! I yield!" cried the Priest.

There was a brief pause as we all looked at his face, or tried to seeing as we were all in a big rather undignified and to to mention suggestive pile on the floor. He looked back at us. I sometimes wonder what he was thinking as he saw three faces looking at him, one of which had red glowing eyes.

"That . . . That wasn't me you were fighting," continued the Priest.

"Funny, it was your body with your face swinging your katana at me," grumbled Sofia.

"He was enthralled," explained Serana. "Dirty old priest," she continued somewhat under her breath.

"Oh that wasn't enthrallment then?" I queried with a slight grin.

Serana gave me a look out of the corner of her eye which reminded me of the look Sofia gives me when I am being logical and she is not.

"It's okay," I said, look back down at the priest. "We're here to rescue you actually."

We started to get up and off of him. He got up and began to straighten out his robe and get his Katana back into it's sheath.

"Thank the divines for you," he said. "When I left Dragon Bridge this morning I thought I was going to have a nice relaxing ride back to the college at Winterhold. But those vampires seemed to know exactly where I would be and they were waiting for us. Looked like ordinary travelers from a distance. The soldiers paid them no mind until they were suddenly pulled off of their horses and . . . Well, bitten would be the best description of how they were killed."

Are you alright?

"I'm quite alright, thanks to you. Dexion Evicus is my name. I'm a Moth Priest of the White Gold Tower. Those vampires claimed they had some purpose in store for me but they wouldn't say what. Probably hoping to ransom me, the fools."

"Nothing so mundane as that," I replied.

"We don't like drawing attention to ourselves," added Serana.

The priest looked at her for a moment and his hand instinctively grasped the handle of his Katana. He then looked at me and Sofia. I smiled and Sofia pointed to her eyes. He looked back at Serana.

"I'm with them," she explained. "As a friend. They are not my thralls. If they were this would not be half as fun."

"I know why they needed you," I said. "Because we need you for the same purpose."

"You do? Alright then, enough mysteries."

"We're called the Dawnguard," I explained. "We're vampire hunters."

"Vampire hunters?" queried Dexion looking at Serana. "Then why is she . . . ?"

"Our first catch," I replied. "Don't worry, she's housebroken."

"I even know how to sit, roll over, beg, speak, and heel," continued Serana in that low calm subtle tone of hers. "I'm a good little doggie. Woof! Woof!"

The joke did much to break the tension. Dexion chuckled for a second, his arms relaxed and fell to his side and we all exhaled.

"And we need you to read an Elder Scroll," I concluded.

"You have an Elder Scroll? Remarkable! If my knowledge of history serves me, I recall that the Dawnguard was an ancient order of vampire hunters. I will be happy to assist you with your Elder Scroll. Just tell me where I need to go."

"We're going to Fort Dawnguard, near Stendarr's Beacon," I said.

"Very well. I'll hurry on my way there before any more of those vampires turn up."

"Whoa!" I said holding up my hands. "You're not going anywhere without us!"

"So I'm your prisoner?"

"If we wanted that," I answered. "I'd have kept you in the Weystone and let Serana here enthrall you."

"I could do that you know," she said looking at Dexion. She gave him a very broad grin to remind him of what she was.

"We are your escort," I continued. "Well . . . Best let Serana explain what is really going on."

"You do a much nicer job, Val," she replied.

"It's your father, Serana," I retorted.

"You said that in a way which suggests that somehow that's my fault!" replied Serana with a hint of irritation in her voice.

"You two are impossible," grumbled Sofia. "It's really simple. Serana's father is trying to snuff out the sun so there will be no more daylight, mead, wine, or ale, and we're trying to stop that."

"I see," mused Dexion.

"And Harkon knows a lot about what is happening in Skyrim," I continued. "I don't know if every single vampire in Skyrim is allied with him, but he has an awful lot of enthusiastic fanged volunteers. They knew you were in Skyrim before we did. If Serana here had not gotten the Elder Scroll, we might not have even known you were captured. So if you head off by yourself, it will be only a matter of time before they spot you on the way to Castle Dawnguard and as that's on the other side of Skyrim from here . . . Well . . . You can be certain they'll intercept you long before you get there. We are to make sure you get there safely."

Dexion looked us over. I could tell he was weighing his options. "I'm not used to being led," he observed. "We Moth Priests are used to going on our way in our own time. It's a privilege given us due to the fact that we end our lives being led." He paused. "But my escort of four good soldiers was taken out by these vampires and if you say they are scouring Skyrim for me, it seems that if I do head out on my own, I'll end up back here again. I suspect I have no choice but to trust you, at least until this matter is over with."

"Tell you what," I said thinking over his words. "Since you are used to an escort, that is what we will be. We will camp when you are ready to camp, break camp when you are ready to break camp, walk at your pace and all that."

"In the sun," groaned Serana.

"And no taverns?" whimpered Sofia.

"You two don't know that!" I snapped back at them.

"Well I don't like traveling at night," observed Dexion.

Serana glared at me.

"But stopping at inns is always a nice break."

Then she looked at Sofia who looked smugly back at her. Dexion looked at the interplay of expressions and gestures between the three of us. Before adding, "It should be an interesting journey."

"That's an understatement," replied Serana.

"We really do like each other," I added. "We especially like inserting the words yelling at and irritating between the like and each of the sentence."

"Well then," continued Dexion. "Let's go."

And the four of us worked our way back out of the cave. The sun was already low in the west. Dexion looked both east and west and seemed at a loss.

"Quickest way would be to the west and then take the road south," I suggested. "East turns north and rounds the mountains before it turns south."

Dexion seemed to come to a decision and turned west and we walked on for a bit. The sun dropped beneath the western mountains and Serana sighed and began to hum happy tunes. I walked up to Sofia and put my arm around her and whispered into her ear that I loved her. She whispered back, "You had better." but smiled just the same. I dropped my arm and she held it with her arm and we proceeded down the road for a bit.

"Newlyweds?" queried Dexion who was walking next to Serana.

"So they claim," replied Serana. "But at times they act like they've been married way longer than just a couple of months."

"When are we going to stop tonight . . . Valentine?" asked Sofia.

"I'm thinking Robber's Gorge would be just about right," I mused. "We cleaned it out a few weeks ago, so there will be a nice cabin with two rooms and that entrance to the cave beneath were we can rest and sleep undisturbed."

"That will be nice," she sighed. "After all this running and walking today I really need to sleep. You should join me."

"Apart?" I queried remembering our first few weeks together.

"I mean together!" she replied.

I chuckled and gave her a little one armed hug.

"Valentine?"

"Yes Sofi?"

"Is there any mead in your backpack?"

"I'll have to look once we camp."

"Look? Valentine I know you already know the answer to that question. You always pack some in some pouch or other."

"Then why did you ask me? Are you looking for an excuse to search?"

"I hate you, Valentine."

"I love you, Sofi."

Sofia growled a little. The road went between two rock outcrops and then we turned and there was the suspension bridge of Robber's Gorge and four men standing on top of it looking down at us with drawn bows and nocked arrows. It was a masterful tactic since it put all four of them out of reach of our melee weapons and likewise gave them altitude to fire their bows from. Problem was, I knew just what would negate their advantages and turn it into a disadvantage.

"Look boys," said one. "Late travelers who are going to pay the toll."

"Look Serana," I said. "Bedtime snack."

"Smells hot and salty," replied Serana. "Just the sort I like this time of night."

"Wha?" began one of the rogues. But that was as far as he got because my fireball blew all four of them off the bridge and onto the road in front of us. That's how you negate that tactic. And falling means you end up on the ground, on your backs, and you have to get back up, and that takes time.

"And pre-heated!" continued Serana. "You are such a sweetie!"

We were of course closing in on them.

"You're lucky I have company so I can't do unspeakable things to your corpse," shouted Sofia.

"I don't care if I have company or not," added Serana.

"Vampire!" screamed one of the guards.

"Oh, you know her already?" mocked Sofia. "You two need to get better acquainted!"

"My kisses are to die for!" suggested Serana.

The fireball and ironskin spells had exhausted my magicka so I drew my dagger and shouted "Su Grah Dun!" and dashed in, my blade flickering in the starlight. The first rogue never saw it coming because I planted the blade right into his eye and the next was busy parrying my rapid sweeps and strikes. This went on for about fifteen seconds or so and then the magic of my shout dispersed and he came at me with a longer steel sword which had reach on my elven dagger. I was frantically parrying when I noticed Sofia behind him on my left and Serana behind him on my right.

"Serana!" shouted Sofia. "Catch him." And she did a solid swivel kick to the middle of his right thigh and he staggered right into Serana who promptly grabbed both his arms at the wrists and pulled him in. For a second he struggled, and tried to turn to see who it was who had his wrists in such a tight vise and that apparently was what she was waiting for. She sunk her teeth into his throat on the opposite side of where he was looking.

"Vampire Bitch!" he screamed as he began to struggle. "I'll kill you for that!"

"Mmm hmmm?" was all Serana suggested, her mouth firmly on his throat.

It was not a sight for gentle eyes. He was a ant in at the bottom of an ant lion cone frantically chewing in the sand at something with sharp jaws beneath the surface, unreachable, unharmable. Every time he pulled he could feel her teeth ripping the skin of his throat and her ice like vise grasping his wrists kept him from employing either his sword or shield. All the while she was drinking from him.

Then his expression became fearful, he was losing control of his hands and feet, his shield and sword sliding from his weakened hands.

"Please!" he whimpered to me. "Tell her to stop!"

"Tell me," I said crossing my arms and staring straight at him. "Had we not the toll to pay, would that not have been the reason why you would have killed us and taken our stuff?"

His expression was, for a brief moment, one of anger at being caught in the act and not the least bit sorrowful. And then his legs gave way and he began to sink to the ground his head somewhat flaccidly lolling. Serana, simply adjusted her grip and gently let him settle upon the ground, holding him around the torso all the while still firmly attached to his neck. His eyes went dull and still she drank. She remained holding him for a few more seconds or moments. I never really timed it. It seemed both fast and yet slow. Then she lifted her head and let the corpse roll off her lap.

"All done," she said smiling. "I feel full for the first time in what seems like ages."

"By the Eight," muttered Dexion.

I looked over at Sofia. Her face was whiter than Serana's and her mouth was slightly open, her eyes wide as saucers just staring at the dead brigand.

I exhaled rather loudly. "Let's find a place to sleep tonight," I suggested.

"How far to the next inn?" queried Dexion who seemed hesitant to rest here.

"Two hours walk to Rorikstead," I answered. "And through brigand infested lands," I added.

"Oh please, I just ate," sighed Serana.

"This is the best we're going to get tonight. But tomorrow we'll make Whiterun easy and you can sleep in a real bed in a real house," I offered.

"Very . . . Well," replied Dexion.

There was the cabin which had a single bed in it and a big fir tent with two more beds in it. I offered to give Dexion the single bed in the cabin while Sofia and Serana would get the two beds in the tent. Serana asked where the trap door in the cabin went to and when I said that there was a small cave beneath this outcropping of rock, she promptly opened it, said "Good Night" dropped down out of sight.

"Good," said Sofia. "That leaves the tent for us."

She firmly grabbed my arm and practically dragged me into the tent where she proceeded to close the flaps, push the two beds together, and disrobe the two of us. What could I do? I was utterly helpless . . . Sort of . . . Well it would be more honest to say I exercised my free will to submit, especially to the part where she pulled me down on the bed and latched on.

"Valentine?" she whispered fearfully. "Just who are we adventuring with?"

"A vampire," I sighed.

It was a very terrified young girl who was making love to me that night. This adventure was looking to get a bit darker than we had anticipated.


	17. Chapter 17 - A Song For Prophecies

Sovengard was a festival of lights and laughter. Brilliant colors festooned the sky above and the land below and in the great hall we ate and drank and sang songs of love, laughter, and lament. I was there with my father and mother. They were smiling and looking at each other with deep fondness. Aurelian my half-brother laughing and joking at my side and we were swapping stories of our various misadventures from our lives in the Imperial City. My two sisters, Irene and Psyche with their husbands were there and they were talking about their children who had not yet died and made the transition. And there by my side was Sofia, her hair so deep black that it seemed to shimmer blue and twinkle like it had been sprinkled in sticky diamond dust. She was wearing a gown so sheer that her skin beneath glowed a healthy tan and pink, gently wrapping her entire body in a soft silky sheen.

I wanted her so bad.

She smiled and lifted a mug of mead, drained it's contents, and nestled herself into my arms and whispered "Make love to me." And I replied, "As soon as the party is over." And she replied "I can hardly wait."

Yes, it definitely was a dream I was experiencing.

And I leaned over to kiss her and the roof came off of the hall and there was a howling reptilian scream and cries of terror.

Alduin, the world eater was above us. He reached down and snatched up one of the party guests and consumed him, annihilating his very being forever. We reached for our weapons, cried our defiance, but our arrows bounced off of his hide and our spears splintered upon his scales. Then he faced me and lunged. I could see his glowing red eyes and white fangs as he closed in for the kill.

"NO!" I screamed sitting up. I paused. My breath came as white steam from my mouth. Above me were furs of the tent and beneath me the creaks of the ropes which held up the animal skins which lay across the bed frame.

"Lay off the nightmare already!" snapped Sofia, who was laying next to me under a pile of furs looking not a little annoyed. "I was just feeling all nice and relaxed and you scream like that in my ear."

"I dreamed of Alduin," I groaned. "The world eater. He's still out there. And we're going to have to stop him."

Sofia sighed. "If I don't get eaten by a small vampire, I'll get eaten by a big dragon. It so sucks to be me."

"At least you have me, and your little baby right there," I replied smiling and patting her belly. "Oh look, you've gained an inch around the waist. Or is that a pooch? Woof Woof!"

"You are getting so kicked . . ."

"Not if I tickle you first."

"Valentine!" she began to shriek as I commenced applying the tips of the fingers to all the sensitive spots.

Yes I had learned how to tickle her and there's just something about young women who are in love with you that makes them highly ticklish. Provided of course you figure out where they are ticklish.

"Valentine!" she shouted again. "I'm carrying a baby. Of course I'm going to get a few inches around the waist!"

"Sofi I know that," I smiled. "It's why I was teasing you about it. I'm not Horsa. I'm not expecting you to have the perfect young girl physique during a pregnancy. Nor do I expect you to just bounce back into the svelte little minx afterwards. You'll have all sorts of things acting in tandem to put weight on those bones of yours and that's what happens to girls. I'm no fool. I love you because you are . . . well . . . you."

"I'm me?" quipped Sofia. "Seriously now, I'm a great fighter, great lover, my voice is the voice of an Aedra, I cause all the men in the room to look at me when I walk in because I'm beautiful, and you can't give me one reason why you love me?"

"I love you because you're modest."

"I hear the sarcasm, Valentine."

"You really want to know the real reason why I love you?"

"Yes, I do."

"I love you Sofi, because you are the very first woman who took any initiative. There were other girls who tried to get my attention. First, back when I was in the Imperial City, I was too naive and dumb to spot it. And then I couldn't do anything about it because I was wandering. But even so, they all expected me to be at their beck and call, to stay where they were and be there for them. But you? You did something none of them ever did. You tracked me down and ambushed me. And then you stuck with me regardless of who I was or what I was doing. When I went to fetch the Dragonstone, you came along, and complained about heavy backpacks. When I went to climb High Hrothgar, you came along, and grumbled about your feet. Where ever I would go, you would go, and you would be arguing the whole time. You were there when I had a pocket full of septims. And you stayed when that pocket was empty, and you bitched about that too. You were literally perfect for me. I knew when I woke up, you would be there, expressing annoyance at how long I had slept."

"Why do I wish I hadn't asked you clarify?"

"Because you don't realize what I'm really saying. Sofi, don't you understand that the thing that I love about you most is that regardless of how much I annoy you, you won't leave. Do you have any idea how secure that makes me feel? Before I met you, I was a wanderer with no home I could go back to. With you, I have a home. You are that home. I lost a family I love deeply, but you have become my family now. And I know you will be there until death takes us."

"Oh," she mused. "Okay."

Sorry lads, no adolescent dream girl wish fulfillment with Sofia. No "Oh Valentine you are so sweet and I love you so much carry me off and make love to me by the flowing stream where the reindeer gently graze and the sparrows flit above."

Just the same I smiled as we got dressed because every time I looked at her I could see the contentment on her expression. I stepped out of the tent. The sun was up and shining and Dexion was busy tending the fire over the cooking spit and Serana was standing next to him looking at a cluster of blue mountain flowers. I paused and did a double take. Yes, she really did not have her hood up and the sun was shining down full.

"Serana?" I queried.

"Val? I've never seen these flowers like this before. They are so pretty and blue. What are they?"

"They are mountain flowers, Serana. They grow all over the place, in blues, reds, and purples. You've seen them dozens of times since we came along."

"Yes, but today they look so blue. I never noticed before."

"You do realize that the sun is overhead right?"

Serana started. She did a quick glance up and instantly regretted it, wincing. But then she rubbed her eyes for a moment and then looked at me again. There seemed to be a curious expression on her face, a sort of self enquiry and then she realized something.

"Oh that's right. I had forgotten since it's been so long. I had a full live feeding last night. The sun won't bother me today."

Dexion gave her a rather hesitant look out of the corner of his eye.

"Yeah, about that," I sighed. "I think you scared the oblivion out of all of us when you did that."

"Val!" she retorted slightly miffed. "It's not that I've not been latching on to dozens of bandits we've dispatched since we started adventuring together. What difference did he make?"

"They were dead when you bit into them. While they were living and we were fighting them, you used that draining spell which we perceive as merely misty colored red light. That bandit you caught which Sofia kicked to you? We got to see him die as you bit and drained him," I replied.

"So I'm a monster am I?"

"You are a VAMPIRE," I snapped back. "And we know that. We accept that. We like you anyway. You're my friend, Serana," I walked up to her and placed my hand upon her shoulder and looked directly into those glowing red eyes of her as I softened my voice. "And because you're my friend. I'm letting you know what the emotions are in the party right now. It's called communication for mutual benefit? We are depending on each other for our lives. I think you have the right to know what you do that upsets your friends and companions just as you have the right to let us know what we do that upsets you."

"Well maybe I can slip away and stalk them on my own then," she snapped. Just the same, she accepted the human contact. Damn, her shoulder was cold. I could feel the singular absence of heat even under her blouse. I was briefly reminded of the time I handled that small green snake and how it had, once it realized I meant it no harm, snuggled around my hand since it could feel the warmth. Serana was likewise, I suspect, enjoying the warmth of my hand.

"And risk your life without your friends at your back?" I countered.

"I can handle myself," she rather testily argued.

"You don't know that," I replied. "A man quite capable of killing vampires just like you, without receiving so much as a scratch, is resting his warm hand upon your cool shoulder because he regards you as a solid companion."

I took a second to look more deeply into her eyes.

"You have never faced me," I said. "And I trust you never will, by the nine."

"And you're crazy if you think Valentine and me couldn't hack your head off in a moment," snorted Sofia walking up. It was apparent that she had been privy to the whole conversation because she was not jealously staring at my hand upon Serana's shoulder. Just the same, Serana instinctively backed off and my hand fell to my side.

"See?" I said half grinning. "You dare not face the wrath of Sofi."

"Vampires are solitary creatures by nature," mused Dexion looking at Serana. "If they are in a group, there is one clearly who dominates and the lesser vampires are only slightly better than thralls. It will not be easy for you to be a companion among equals since you are, by your own drives, driven to seek solitude or dominance. It is the poison which Molag Bal put into you when you submitted to the ritual rape."

"Rape!" exclaimed Sofia, clearly shocked by the revelation.

Serana winced and turned her head away from us.

"And I thought it sucked to me be," sighed Sofia. She walked up and put her arms around Serana from the back and wrapped them around her shoulders at the base of her throat. Serana just stood there for a moment but then gently put her fingers lightly upon Sofia's arm.

Dexion sighed. "Sorry about that," he said. "I was just being academic and forgot you directly experienced what I was talking about."

Serana sighed.

"Damn you are cold," grumbled Sofia. "You need to be thrown into a hot spring."

"You going to be alright?" I asked.

"Yes," exhaled Serana. "Thanks for asking."

The three of us mortals had breakfast while Serana sipped upon a blood potion. And then packed up, we began to head down the road towards Rorikstead. Once we got south of the last of Rorikstead's farms, we turned to the left and began a somewhat leisurely jog across the tundra. Serana kept noticing the deer and plants and it seemed like she was discovering the world for the first time. All the while her head shifted from the right to the left and her hair bobbed back and forth in the wind. Moods began to improve and I began a jogging song to put some cheer into the party as we leapt from rock to spongy tundra and over small streams and wadis.

"Running through the tundra and the wind blow sward!" I sang.

Sofi, picking up on the routine immediately, since we had done this piles of times before, repeated the line.

I'm a stupid dumb ass mofo I forgot my iron sword.  
_I'm a stupid dumb ass mofo I forgot my iron sword._

We're off to fight the brigands and I can't be late,  
_We're off to fight the brigands and I can't be late,_  
I'm a stupid dumb ass mofo I forgot my armored plate.  
_I'm a stupid dumb ass mofo I forgot my armored plate._

By this point Serana had picked up on the tune and was singing along.

There'll be a mound of treasure and some golden loot,  
_The'll be a mound of treasure and some golden loot,_  
I'm a stupid dumb ass mofo I forgot my Elven boot.  
_I'm a stupid dumb ass mofo I forgot my Elven boot._

The brigands will be fighting in a great big row,  
_The brigands will be fighting in a great big row,_  
I'm a stupid dumbass mofo I forgot my Hunter's bow.  
_I'm a stupid dumbass mofo I forgot my Hunter's bow._

They'd sing about our 'venture throughout Tamriel,  
_They'd sing about our 'venture throughout Tamriel,_  
I'm a stupid dumbass mofo I forgot to learn a spell.  
_I'm a stupid dumbass mofo I forgot to learn a spell._

The girls would want to kiss me throughout all the realm,  
_The boys would want to kiss me throughout all the realm,_  
I'm a stupid dumb ass mofo I forgot my Dweemer helm.  
_I'm a stupid dumb ass mofo I forgot my Dweemer helm._

The swords they are a swinging and the floor's all red,  
_The swords they are a swinging and the floor's all red,_  
I'm a stupid dumb ass mofo and because of that I'm dead!  
_I'm a stupid dumb ass mofo and because of that I'm dead!_

"Good riddance I'd say," chucked Dexion. "Take that adventurer out of the breeding stock so his stupidity doesn't pass on to the next generation."

"Stupidity defies breeding," I observed grinning back.

"Is that all there is to it?" queried Serana smiling. "The song I mean."

"Well let's see," I mused. It took me a few seconds and then I put together two more verses.

We're running and we're singing, but we're never bored.  
We have got a pretty Sofi who's a scary bad ass Nord.

And then we have Serana whom you've got to meet,  
She's a sneaky little Vampire with her tiny pointed teeth.

"Val? My verse doesn't rhyme right," suggested Serana with a hint of disappointment.

"You got a word which rhyme's with teeth?" I asked.

"Wreath?" suggested Dexion.

I groaned. "Of course someone would come up with something I didn't."

"I don't know if I want to be immortalized in song because I have cute fangs," mused Serana.

"Well there's this . . ." I proposed.

"I'm sneaking and a crawling in the tundra bush,  
I can spy a cute Serana with her pretty rounded tush."

Sofia promptly kicked me in the backside . . . hard. I staggered forward.

"I don't think I care to be remembered for having a nice posterior either," suggested Serana. "And I think Sofia agrees with me."

"You think?" replied Sofia.

"Who'd have thought poetry would lead to violence," I quipped. "Well all that there's left is your scintillating personality."

"Hmm," pondered Serana. "Kind of hard to find rhythm and rhyme to that."

"Besides mine is prettier," inserted Sofia at this juncture.

"Excuse me?" asked Serana. There was a curious mixed drink quality about her facial expression which was composed of equal parts of surprise, amusement, shock, and vanity. Then there was a bit of sadistic grin in her voice when she replied, "You just wait ten years, Sofi girl. Then we'll see."

"This turn in then conversation could lead to some rather awkward moments for an old priest," mused Dexion. "Should there, for example, be a contest forthcoming."

"I'm game," challenged Sofia.

"Let's change the subject," advised Serana.

Sofia had that 'I win' smile on her face.

We swung around the south end of the great hill that stood north of Fort Greymoor and continued. Earlier on, that fort had been a lair of brigands, but finding a secret passage into the lower levels, Sofia and I had raided it one early morning and secured a nice bit of loot. Now Imperial Soldiers stood on the ramparts. We passed them and got onto the road and continued to jog towards Whiterun, which was now clearly visible before us on the tundra. As we got to the watchtower, I paused and recollected. Was it only just Last Seed?

"Something important happened here in your life didn't it?" suggested Serana.

I nodded my head. "I'll tell you about it tonight," I continued. We continued down the road but Sofia caught up to me and grabbed my arm and leaned in.

"This is the spot where you tried to suggest we could be lovers," she mused. "That's what I remember."

I smiled as I looked at her.

"Of course that happens to me all the time," she continued.

"But this is the one you remember?"

"Naturally, it was the most recent."

I swatted her on the tush.

"Was that a retaliation for the earlier kick? Or has something else just happened?" came Serana's amused voice.

"Yes Valentine, I would be blushing if I were you," was Sofia's next observation.

Shortly thereafter we came to the gates and walked in. I walked up to Breezehome and opened the door. I had purchased this house with one of our first big hauls chiefly as a home and base for Lydia. She had been given our spare coinage at the time with instructions to invest it in the local businesses. All that of course had gone into the purchasing of Proudspire. But there were still the three bedrooms to the small house and so everyone would be able to sleep there, provided Lydia would be willing to sleep in the lower bedroom for one night. I had strong suspicions that Dexion would not want to be in the same bedroom as Serana.

"It's early afternoon," observed Dexion. "We would easily get further down the road."

"We would," I replied. "But there's nothing between here and Riften until we get to Shor's Stone which is almost a day's walk. And furthermore, there's a wagon service that goes between Whiterun and Riften. I thought we would take that first thing in the morning and get to Riften in a single day."

Dexion paused and thought about it for a moment. "Very well," he said. "I trust you have a bed for me here?"

"Yes I do," I replied. I walked off to arrange things with Lydia. This took a while since there was news from the town to be caught up with as well. Given the circumstances, she was somewhat unenthusiastic about sleeping the same room with Serana but after I had given her leave to examine my neck fully and completely, she decided that Serana could be trusted and agreed. Naturally I did this all with Lydia safely upstairs while Serana and Sofia had a blood potion and bottle of mead together. Thought it would be more accurate to suggest the number they had together was closer to a dozen. I noted the scattered bottles when I came back down stairs.

"Sofia? Where in oblivion did you get all these bottles of mead?"

"At the inn," she replied with a silent suggestion that the word 'dummy' followed. "I would have gotten more but that one pigtailed Nord girl . . . Vilja . . . I swear she's always first in the line . . . She got several bottles too and this is all the innkeeper would sell to me."

"I tried really hard to persuade her too," added Serana with more unspoken than said. "And she simply pointed out that you can't get mead from an empty shelf."

Needless to say, we spent the rest of the evening relaxing, swapping tales, catching Serana up on our past life, and then we retired for the night. The wagon ride to Riften was without incident. And upon arriving there we played for our bed and supper in the Bee and Barb. Keerava liked me performing and with Sofia on the flute and drum, we got the crowd good and roused.

The next day was the 1st of Evening Star and we took the road to Morrowind, turning into the narrow pass which was entrance to Fort Dawnguard Vale. Once the towers were in sight, I signaled everyone to come to a halt. Serana had her hood pulled up and I could tell from her expressions that once again the sun was burning fiercely down on her.

"Why are we waiting out here?" she asked.

"Need to make sure the Dawnguard doesn't hack your head off and say 'oops' afterwards," I replied. To be frank I highly doubted any one in the castle would actually say 'oops', more like 'U Rah'. Serana had no objections but she did request Sofia stay with her. Sofia hesitated and then Serana, with all the typical deceit I had come to expect from a vampire, pulled a couple of bottles of mead out of a hidden pocket in her leather cape.

"Bribery now Serana?" I quipped. Serana gave me one of her big 'see my nice pointy teeth?' smiles.

"This is not bribery," snapped Sofia. "This is an invitation to drink with an old dear friend."

"You've barely known Serana a month and a half," I countered.

"She's close to a thousand years old," retorted Sofia.

I couldn't help but smile and shake my head. Dexion decided he wanted to come with me and we crossed the last three hundred meters together. Since Sofia and I had last left the castle, a new wooden wall had been put across the front. Standing over the closed gates was Agmear, the youngest member, and Beleval, the only Bosmer in the Dawnguard.

"Valentine?" queried Beleval. "Where's Sofia? And who's this?"

"This is the Moth Priest, Dexion," I replied. "And Sofia is back with Serana."

"Serana? You mean the vampire who sent that bloody letter a few weeks ago?"

"The same," I replied. "I need to know that Isran won't object to her walking into the castle."

"A vampire? In Castle Dawnguard?"

"It's her Elder Scroll," I replied. "Her cooperation is kind of essential if we're going to get it read."

"Oh I don't know about this," continued Agmear. "You know how Isran feels about her."

"Well I want to hear Isran tell me to go to oblivion with my pet monster with his own lips if I may."

"What? Me tell Isran?"

"You are such a kid," snorted Beleval. "I'll tell him."

Agmear always was that sort of 'golly gee I'm a vampire hunter isn't that keen?' kid in the Dawnguard. We all held him in singular affection. But it was moments like this when we were reminded just how annoying he could be. He never did get over his 'wow, Isran is a big bad dude Vampire hunter kind of guy' approach.

I traded small talk with Agmear for the next fifteen minutes before the grumbling voice of Isran came through the gate.

"Alright," he growled. "Let's see this creature."

"This way," I said. "Oh, you don't mind if Dexion goes on in?"

Isran gave him a once over. "He's not a vampire, and he's the Moth Priest who's going to read this Elder Scroll . . . Agmear? Show him to a nice bed and let him prepare for the reading.

"Right sir!"

"I'm not sir!"

"Yes sir!"

"Stendar preserve us," he muttered as we headed back towards Sofia and Serana.

"Still fighting with his Pa's axe?" I queried.

"Of course, Did you imagine differently?"

We rounded the corner and I found Sofia seated against a shady trunk of a tree. In front of her and leaning against her was Serana, who apparently was enjoying Sofia's warmth. Sofia had wrapped her arms around Serana's shoulders and her legs were on either side of Serana and crooked so that they rested upon the top of Serana's legs. In short, it was the sort of posture that two cold adventurers will take when they are trying to warm each other up and not being suggestive about it. Of course when Sofia leans against me that way, I have been known to make liberal use of my hands and fingers. She hasn't often objected however.

"This girl is so cold," sighed Sofia. "I keep thinking she's going to catch a cold and then I say, 'She's a vampire, she doesn't get colds.'"

Isran was just glaring.

The two of them got up and faced Isran.

"Isran? This is Serana Volkihar, the woman who is trying to prevent her father from destroying the sun. And Serana? This is Isran, the head of the Dawnguard."

Serana glared back. It was hate at first sight.

"Feel the chemistry between you two," I mused. "You'll be together in bed within a week I'm betting."

Both just stared at me for a moment while I put on a goofy grin.

"So this is the blood sucking fiend whom you have befriended," observed Isran. Tact was never one of his strong suits but I had explained this to Serana prior so she was not put out by the faux paux. His glare had already done that. He turned back to Serana. "You will be permitted to enter the castle because Valentine here has argued long and hard that you are to be trusted," He continued. "He has even guaranteed his own life in exchange for your behavior. So don't make me regret my sudden outburst of tolerance. If anything happens to any of my men or women, he will pay for it. You are not a guest. You are an essential component to the war we are waging against your kind. A war I intend to win."

"Thank you ever so much," replied Serana, her tone positively oozing sarcastic charm. "I'll be sure to remember that the next time I get hungry."

Isran turned and headed back to the castle. I waited for a moment or two so that he could start to spread the word and then me, Sofia, and Serana headed towards the castle as well. Serana instinctively was between the two of us. I did not begrudge her that desire to use us a shields. The Dawnguard's response to the arrival of a Daughter of Cold Harbor was a mix between morbid curiosity and psychotic rage. Serana was clearly nervous, and so was I for that matter. I knew how well she could fight and there would be more than a few casualties should things come to blows.

Agmear turned out to be the one who broke the ice, some of it anyway. He came back from showing Dexion his room and noticed Serana. He looked at her for a moment and then walked up to her and gazed with a certain open mouthed amazement at her.

"You're too beautiful to be evil," was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

There are very few women in the world who do not respond positively to flattery, how ever clumsy it is delivered.

"Then my evil scheme is working," she replied with a gentle smile. That smile of hers was most disarming, provided it kept the fangs hidden. And she had mastered the art of the fangs are hidden smile.

"Wha?"

"Don't be fooled by good looks," she continued. "If I were any other vampire, I would spend a few hours with you letting you think I really was attracted to you and then lure you into the back of a bush and suck you dry."

"You wouldn't do that to me . . . Would you?"

"Why not? I don't know you yet. Is real easy for a vampire to kill a person she barely knows," continued Serana.

Agmear looked almost heartbroken. Serana smiled and gently clasped him on the shoulder. "Be careful," she said. "The world is filled with pretty girls looking to take you down with a smile, I just happen to be a bit more dangerous."

"Valentine? Why are you looking at me that way?" came Sofia's query as I gave her a cheeky grin.

Isran, who had watched this entire exchange, shook his head and muttered under his breath.

Dinner in the dining hall that night was somewhat subdued. There were surreptitious glances at Serana throughout and murmurings of what I suspected was well honed debate which has likely been going on at some level ever since I had first argued for our trusting of Serana. Isran's only comments were directed at making sure Dexion was taken care of and only briefly did he admit that he was impressed at the speed in which we had been able to find a Moth Priest. Then afterwards, Isran led us to the main foyer. The entire Dawnguard was there, seated around the edge looking in, save Isran, who stood on one side of Dexion. His hand remained on a crossbow by his side. He kept his eyes both on Dexion and Serana. Serana was on the other side of Dexion, and her left hand was flexing in the manner which I recognized as the preliminary to summoning up her draining magics. She had one eye on Dexion and the other on Isran.

"You two make such a cute couple," I quipped.

Isran and Serana forgot about their mutual hatred for each other and decided to be annoyed with me for a moment. I smiled, put my hands behind my head, and stretched my legs out in front of me.

"Now Serana, if you will pass over that Elder Scroll," began Dexion.

"Certainly Dexion," she replied handing it to him.

"Well let's see what secrets it has to tell us," continued Dexion. He pulled a flap of parchment down from the scroll and he began to look intently.

"This had better be quick," whispered Sofia next to me.

"It will be over soon enough," I whispered back, making sure my mouth as as close to her ear as possible so that no one would hear. "Just be patient."

"I'm tired of being patient."

"You haven't even started yet," I grumbled back.

"I see an image before me, an image of a great bow," began Dexion.

Sofia pointedly yawned.

"I know this weapon. It's Auriel's Bow!"

Sofia shifted in her seat next to me and exhaled rather loudly.

"Now a voice whispers 'Among the night's children, a dread lord will rise. In an age of strife, when dragons return to the realms of men, darkness will mingle with light and night and day will be as one,'"

I was having a hard time paying attention because Sofia was now making jabbering pantomimes with her hands and her expression was one of acute annoyance.

"The voice fades and the words begin to shimmer and distort. But wait, there is more here."

Sofia looked heavenward and rolled her eyes. I couldn't handle it any more. I, rather gently I presumed, elbowed her. She promptly elbowed me back.

"The secret of the bow's power is written elsewhere. I think there is more to the prophecy recorded in other scrolls."

Sofia snorted and groaned. "Be Quiet!" I mouthed. She merely made a face back at me.

"Yes, I see them now. . . One contains the ancient secrets of the dragons, and the other speaks of the potency of ancient blood."

Sofia was very quietly mouthing annoyance at what she was hearing. I sighed and gave up and leaned back. I wasn't going to try to get her to behave any more, I was in danger of sinking to her level.

"My vision darkens and I see no more. To know the complete prophecy, we must have the other two scrolls. I must rest now. The reading has made me weary," Dexion stumbled a bit as he put the Elder Scroll down. He seemed to be having trouble seeing.

"Come on old man. You should get some rest," suggested Isran. Two members of the Dawnguard led Dexion out of the foyer.

"Two Elder scrolls, TWO!" Sofia practically shouted. "One was bad enough but now we have to get another? I'm going to be a grandmother before we fix this!"

Serana remained quiet as she gently approached us. Once again I could see both curiosity, fear, and anger directed at her from behind.

"Do you have a moment to talk?" she asked.

"What's on your mind?" I replied.

"That Moth Priest, Dexion, he said we needed two other Elder Scrolls. I think I know where we can start looking."

"You do?" I asked, somewhat incredulous. "What's caused this sudden comprehension?"

"Mother knew my father had to be separated from this Elder Scroll which has the prophecy. If my father knew about this prophecy then he would know about the need for a second Elder Scroll and if he knew, so would mother."

"Serana?" I asked. "Did Harkon show any love for you after we left? Did he ever love you?"

She sighed. "We were never as close as I was with my mother. But ever since he decided to make that prophecy his calling we have kind of drifted apart. I don't think he even sees me as his daughter any more. I'm just . . . A means to an end.

"So we need to find your mother then," I mused.

"Yes, my mother Valerica. She'll definitely know where it is, and if we're lucky, she actually has it herself."

"Yippee, we get to go into another tomb and get a spike through our hands," sighed Sofia. "Not that we know where the tomb is, which means we probably have to find another Elder Scroll to tell us that right?"

I noticed there were still folks around chatting and debating among themselves so I resisted the urge to swat Sofia on the backside.

"So we need to find your mother Valerica. But you said you didn't know where she went."

Serana paused and seemed to think. She was trying to remember. "The last time I saw her," she began. "She said she would go somewhere safe." She paused and looked up. "Somewhere that my father would never look."

"There's always one of those," I mused. "The one place where you are already convinced it's not there."

"Other than that," she continued. "She wouldn't tell me anything. But the way she said it. Some . . . Place . . . He . . . would never search. It was cryptic, yet she called attention to it."

"Riddles," I mused. "Verbal imagery designed to hide the obvious to all but the thoughtful. Sounds like she was being cautious."

"Maybe. What I can't figure out is why she said it that way. Besides, I can't imagine a single place where my father would avoid looking. And he's had all this time too. Any ideas?"

"Under his nose," snorted Sofia.

"Huh?" queried Serana looking at Sofia.

"Precisely," I said. "The last place you will look for something is when it's right in front of you at your feet. How well does your father know the castle? Has it always belonged to your family?"

Serana paused and something seemed to click in her mind. "No," she said. "It was not always ours."

"It's a pretty large place," I continued. "And everyone has their favorite spot in the house and they seldom go to spots that they are not fond of, and if the place is big enough, some places never are visited. Quite possible that your mother found a nook or cranny she could hole up in that would be close enough so that she would know when he either A, got over it; or B, got himself killed trying to accomplish it. The trick would be to find the nook she's inserted herself in. There were rooms in the town house I was in maybe once? And there are whole blocks of the Imperial City I never trod in even though I was only five minutes walk from them."

"That almost makes sense," mused Serana.

"Of course it makes sense," replied Sofia. "Ever since Valentine started being with me he's been thinking out solutions for all sorts of problems."

"There's a courtyard in the castle," continued Serana. "I used to help her tend a garden there. All the ingredients for our potions came from there. She used to say that my father couldn't stand the place, too . . . peaceful."

I nodded. "That would be where she would have found her little hidy hole."

"Had a lot of nerve being that close to him," mused Sofia. "When I'm in trouble with the guards, I don't hang out by the jail if you know what I mean."

"Oh absolutely," replied Serana. "But my mother's not a coward. That is, I don't think we'll accidentally trip over her there. But it's worth a look."

"So walking up to the front gate and fluttering my eyelashes won't get us in," presumed Sofia.

"True," replied Serana smiling. "But I know a way we can get to the courtyard without arousing suspicion. There's an unused inlet on the northern side of the island that was used by the previous owners of the castle to bring supplies into the castle. An old escape tunnel from the castle exists there. I think that's our way in."

I nodded.

"Well, I said. "We have a big trip planned ahead of us. Let's get to bed and in the morning make our way back to Riften. We'll make our plans there."

Serana nodded. "Half of this crew would just as soon kill me as talk to me. It doesn't exactly make me want to open up."

There was no love making session that night. Serana promptly slid under and slept below our bed and that put a damper on any serious expressions of affection. I found myself sleeping rather fitfully (well DUH). Since we couldn't make love, Sofia became rather fixated on that and kept making 'I'm so frustrated' expressions on and off through the night as well. She was quite animated about it too since she could not vocally express her discontent.

"Maybe we can do it very very quietly," she whispered as softly as she could some time in the night.

Serana cleared her throat. I suspected it wasn't because Serana was having sinus drainage.

I put my arm around Sofia and pulled her as close to me as possible. She finally settled down and put her head on my shoulder and her hand on my heart. I wondered for a while why she took that particular posture. Eventually she told me that it was because she could feel my heart beating. That reminder that I was alive turned out to be one of the things that made her feel secure. After what seemed to be ages, we finally fell asleep.

I woke up first, that is, between me and Sofia. Serana was sitting on a chair next to the bed looking rather discouraged.

"I should have found some place quiet and safe," she mused quietly. "But last night all I could think of was being awake and alone in a castle filled with vampire hunters."

I nodded my head. "It's okay," I said. "The moment I saw you slip under the bed I suspected it wasn't because you wanted to play that 'Yes there really is a monster under your bed game' you were so fond of with Jordis. You did it because you were scared. And that's okay. We all get scared."

"I miss Jordis," she sighed. "I barely knew her yet, she was so . . . Alive."

She gave me a look I recognized immediately. It was that little girl lost expression that women will make when they are in the middle of deep thought and reflection on who they are, and they don't like what they're finding out about themselves.

"Why does it have to be this way," she sighed. "Why do I have to be afraid? I'm a Daughter of Coldharbor. I am immortal. I should see you all as prey. Under the right circumstances you would kill me and call yourselves heroes for doing it. Even so I am strong enough to defeat you face to face. And yet . . . I hate that. I see you and Sofia loving each other, and taking the bad with the good. And I haven't got that. I thought I would. I thought I would have a loving mother and father forever, and I thought that maybe some day I would find a nice guy and we'd hunt together and feed together and live out eternity as a nice big family fearing nothing."

"Didn't turn out that way did it?" I suggested quietly.

"Mother and I were so close. There was nothing I wouldn't share with her. And then . . ."

"Did I ever tell you about this dog Sofia and I ran into outside of Falkreath?" I began.

"Val? What is this have to do with . . ."

"Let me tell the story Seri," I said.

She tilted her head and decided she liked the nickname I had just bestowed upon her.

"It was a talking dog, named Barbas."

"Clavicus Vile's dog?"

"The same. His master and he had a falling out and Barbas decided me and Sofia would be just the couple to fix it. However, he suggested we not trust any deals Clavicus would offer us."

"But he's the Daedric Prince of wishes," objected Serana.

"Wishes yes, but also Daedric Prince," I replied. "Let me tell you the first thing he said to me once I asked him to manifest himself at his shrine. You see, we had to kill an entire coven of vampires to get to that shrine."

"What did he say?" she asked.

"By all means," he said. "It's the least I could do since you have helped me fulfill one last wish for my worshippers. They were so suffering from vampirism and begged me for a cure. And you came along and put them out of their misery. I couldn't have planned it better myself."

Serana did not like what she was hearing.

"That's the thing about Daedric Princes," I continued. "They offer you one thing, but they don't tell you how they are going to make it happen. And you end up paying a price you had no intention of paying had you known what that price was before hand. That was only the beginning of the death we had to inflict getting Barbas and Clavicus back together again. And had Clavicus gotten his way, we would have ended up killing Barbas as well."

Serana seemed to sigh for a second.

"You are strong, beautiful, and immortal," I observed. "And here you are discovering that you like playing with your food. Molag Bal didn't tell your family about that did he?"

Serana shook her head.

"I've paid such a high price for this," she grumbled. "Why do I have to pay more?"

"Molag's got his fish hooks deep in you girl," I sighed. "And they won't come out without a lot of torn flesh and dripping blood."

"Valentine?" came a soft Sofi voice from the bed. "Scratch my back?"

Serana smiled and winked and then slipped away. I waited for a moment then slipped back into bed with Sofia.

"Is she gone?"

"She's left us alone for a bit," I replied.

"I've got an even bigger itch than my back," she suggested.

"I'll take care of it Sofi."

"Valentine," she sighed as I commenced to scratch. I had Serana thinking about who she was in an honest fashion and Sofia was still feeling affectionate. It was promising to be a nice day in our adventure.


	18. Chapter 18 - A Song For Adventuring

"If Conjuration is so great," began Sofia, seated with an empty set of dishes before her and a half empty mug of mead in her hand. "Then let's see you conjure up a pink mammoth wearing a hat."

"I can't do that, Sofi," objected Serana.

"Then what good is it then?" retorted Sofia.

Serana looked at me and threw her hands up in surrender.

I couldn't help myself. I was chuckling as I ate a very nice potato soup at the Bee and Barb. It was a nice Tirdas night, by that meaning that it was raining cats and dogs outside in Riften but we were in a warm common room with an innkeeper who regarded our music as an essential component to her staving off the Thieve's Guilds efforts at extortion. But the music wasn't the only component which explained Keerava's fondness for us. There was something else that had happened earlier that evening before the rain had started.

The thug had come in while I was with Keerava talking about setting up a series of sets for us given I was planning on staying in Riften for a bit. Why I'll get to shortly. The thug was standing behind me looking tough and projecting a 'get your business over with before I find an excuse' and Keerava was giving me one of those looks which tell you that unwelcome company is present. I finished with Keerava and then I signaled Serana and then pointed to my ear and then glanced back at the thug. She nodded, drifted over a few feet, leaned against the wall, and then in a moment signaled that the man was trouble. I smiled, curved two fingers to resemble a pair of fangs, and then jabbed them into my throat. She gently smiled. I have to admit that gentle smile could be one of the most unnerving things she could do, given what I had just suggested. The thug took a chunk of change from Keerava turned to leave, and came face to face with a young fresh faced girl just oozing 'make love to me right now you handsome stud' all over her posture. I of course am referring to Serana. Seriously that girl was turning me on too. She had this little impish smile on her face, the sort which puckers the lips just a little and makes them look fuller and redder, just like Sofia's. Her hands were behind her back and her chest was thrust out and she had shifted her frame so that her breasts were just above her leather corset and pressing into the cotton fabric of her red blouse they were mostly underneath, but not entirely. And she was doing little bounces on the heels and balls of her feet and her head was doing little jiggles as she looked right into his eyes and said "Hi!". Like most thugs, he was an arrogant sort who naturally concluded that if a girl was that interested in him it was because he was the dude of the century and a gift of the gods for all young girls looking to get their rocks off. So he never suspected a thing. Five minutes later, they were walking out the door with Serana cuddled up to him on his arm and giggling.

I walked back up to Keerava.

"How much did he take you for?" I asked.

"Protection money for the Thieve's Guild," she sighed. "100 septims."

"I'll have it back to you shortly," I said.

Keerava looked at me curiously.

"Do you know something about that seriously slutty girl he just . . . Wait, she came in right behind you didn't she?"

"Serana is her name," I replied. "And she's a close friend and fellow adventurer. She can't do music I'm afraid but she's good company on the road and Sofi likes her around as well. They do girl stuff together."

"She also stupid and irresponsible enough to just walk out with that Thieve's Guild muscle. If what I hear about him is half true, she'll be walking bowlegged for a week. And I don't believe for a moment she's a prostitute. She's too attractive for it and besides, he's not the sort who pays anyway."

"You don't know Serana," I smiled. "She'll be back in less than a half an hour looking intolerably smug with your money.

"How?" asked Keerava. When Argonians look at you curiously, it's a queer expression they have, but given that Argonians are talking lizards, that should come as no surprise.

"Ancient Martial Arts style her clan has been practicing for 1,000 years. He'll never know what hit him. And the Guild will find his body drifting in the canal I suspect."

"Well," she said, somewhat hopefully. "If what you say is true, I'll take back what I said about her."

"Don't bother," I replied. "She's a consummate actress. You thought that about her because that was what she was trying to pretend she was."

Keerava looked at me with an expression of amazement in so far as lizards can look amazed.

"Part of me is saying I should be surprised and not really believe what you are saying. But then again," Keerava recollected. "You were here just a few weeks ago and they're still talking about how the Ratway rocked and rumbled."

"All in a day's work for your humble Valentine Sofia adventuring duo," I replied grinning. "But really, we didn't make all that noise, we had help from the Thalmor, Thieve's Guild, and Riften's Town Guard.

"Did you get him out?"

"Indeed we did and he's safe now," I said. "And he pointed to what we can do to save us all from the Dragons."

"What?"

"Going to need an Elder Scroll or two," I answered.

"Is that all?" Keerava's tone suggested friendly natured sarcasm.

"Yeppers," I said. "So we'll be saving the world any day now. Hugs and kisses will be accepted upon completion."

"Well to be frank, you're not the sort of guy I go for," she suggested.

"I'm crushed," I replied. "But I'm married already anyway and my wife gets so jealous."

"Hi!" came Serana's sing song greeting. "It was so tragic. He was in that heavy leather armor and he just tripped and fell into the canal." She sighed forlornly. "And we were getting to know each other so nicely. I would have tried to rescue him but . . . I don't know how to swim." She sighed again. "He was a great kisser too. Nibbling on my neck like that, I like it when there's neck nibbling. Don't you?"

She gave me a goofy grin.

Keerava just looked at the two of us.

"Oh!" continued Serana. "Did you drop this?" And with a plop, Keerava's payment to the thug was put on the bar counter top, leather pouch and all.

"I believe I did," replied Keerava smiling. "So I think I'll serve you all a very generous helping of the potato soup dinner we have for tonight's menu, and breakfast tomorrow will be on the house."

"Oh that's so sweet of you!" gushed Serana. "But none for me. I just ate." She bounded off to the table where Sofia was sitting with her mead bottles.

Keerava looked at me. "How could she have possibly eaten . . ."

"She was just being polite," I replied. "Her battle technique requires fasting for purification reasons both before and after the fight."

"Ah," was Keerava's final comment on the matter.

I walked back over to the table.

"Hoods off tomorrow?" I queried to Serana.

"All day," She said smiling. "He sunk to the bottom of the canal in that leather armor. I suspect they won't find him with the mud crabs down there grazing on anything that falls in."

"Good," I said. "If Thieve's Guild muscle comes into this bar when we're here, and is never heard from again. Keerava will continue to give us discounts on the food and lodging.

"I take it we're short of pocket change?" asked Serana.

"We're always short of pocket change," sighed Sofia. "The most we had was spent buying Proudspire. I've been making Valentine pay for that . . . every night . . . for at least an hour . . . in bed."

"She's vicious . . . really," I assured Serana. "You have no idea how much I've suffered during my nights with her."

"Poor baby," replied Serana. "I'd shed a tear for your plight but I can't because vampires don't cry."

"I've been thinking," I started.

"Oh?" suggested Serana.

"Since when?" added Sofia.

The two of them winked at each other.

"By the nine," I muttered. "I've got two women rubbing off on each other." Serana looked at me with an expression of purest innocence upon her features while Sofia merely looked smug. I pressed on. "This is turning into a serious job," I said. "We have two elder scrolls we are going to need to find which means a lot of time on the road."

Sofia let loose one of those 'pity me I suffer so' sighs.

"In addition," I continued. "We have almost finished with fall. Jordis and Lydia are going to need 1,200 each to cover their expenses come the beginning of winter."

"A lot of adventuring for money," sighed Sofia. "So what other things are you going to waste our money on?"

"Waste?" queried Serana.

"If it's not being spent on booze, it's being wasted," concluded Sofia.

"2,000 for a pair of horses here at the Riften Stables," I started with.

"But there are three of us," observed Serana looking somewhat confused.

"They aren't for riding," I replied.

"You're spending more when pack mules could carry our stuff," objected Sofia.

"These are draft horses, not riding or pack horses. There's the wagon I'm going to commission," I replied. "A genuine Khajit caravan wagon."

"You mean with the built in beds and kitchen?" said Sofia brightening up.

"The same," I replied smiling. "We'll be able to sleep in a heated space each night regardless of where we are on the road and we won't be dependent upon the inns any more. And should we have another one of those deeper and darker crypts we have to go through like Dimhollow, there will be a base for us to fall back to."

"A bed," sighed Sofia. "Every night, and a cabinet next to it with mead."

"For the first hour anyway," quipped Serana.

"You implying something, Seri?" started Sofia.

"Perish the thought, Sofi," was her reply.

"And a rack filled with blood potions," retorted Sofia. "For the first few minutes anyway."

"Ooh Touché," was Serana's response.

"I figure close to 15,000 to cover everything," I continued. "And then we can work out the details of where we are going and how we are going to get there.

Serana sighed, "I am so looking forward to seeing the courtyard again. But I guess it'll have to wait a bit."

"You didn't go to it when you were back home?" I asked.

She shook her head. "There was so much going on and so many memories which I was reviewing in my head and father has shut down that part of the castle and there was nothing to go to between it and the main courtroom . . . And I didn't know how quickly I was going to have to slip away."

"You weren't there more than a week were you?" I queried.

"That's about right," she mused. "So how long do you think it will be to get this money?"

I paused and tried to recollect. "When Sofi and I were first starting out, it took us about four weeks to collect 5,000. As we got better at it and learned how to dicker with the merchants, we pulled in more and more. If we find any enchanted Ebony or Glass armor pieces or weapons, we'll get it fast. If all that's to be found is hide boots and iron daggers, we'll be at this for months. I really can't tell you. Even if we're as lucky as can be, it will be a few days I'm guessing before the wagon is built.

And so we sang a three hour set after dinner, and retired for the night. And that was how our week in Riften began. It was actually slightly more than a week, running a total of eight days. There was quite a bit that took place. The next morning I was talking with Balimund giving him the dimensions for the wagon and he was figuring out the smithing for the iron parts it would need. He likewise would hire the carpenters. Then it was to the stables to work out the price for two draft horses. From there it was to the palace where I was able to secure a collection of bounties on brigands and two dragons.

"Two DRAGONS?" shrieked Sofi when I informed her of that come later that afternoon. "You trying to get me killed?"

"Relax," I said.

"It's only a dragon," deadpanned Serana.

" . . . They are fifteen miles apart, they won't be working in tandem, we can take out one and then head out to take out the other the next day."

"You are giving me full body rub downs every night for this!" proclaimed Sofia. "And Black Briar RESERVE."

"At least we get to eat; well, I get to eat, you get to hunt, brigands," mused Serana. "Any chance we can take out a camp each day. I really liked spending the day in Riften with the cool breeze blowing across my face. It felt so refreshing."

I paused for a moment. "What we might be able to do is raid their encampments on the way to or from one of the dragon sites," I suggested.

"You're going to deal with the fact that I'm going to do live feedings," continued Serana. There was no question in her tone, it was more like a bit of ultimatum in her voice which I took note of.

"Yes," I replied. "We'll deal with it, but you will remember to accept surrenders if they come."

Now brigands almost never surrender, they tend to pretend to be wounded so as to catch their breath and then come back at you. The chances of the last brigand surrendering before we had shoved him into Serana's grasp was pretty slim. But given what Dexion had said about vampiric nature, I was making sure Serana understood that the Alpha Dog was me, and not she. On one level I understood what she really wanted. She liked the fact that if she consumed the full blood of a living human, she would be immune from the sun's effects for a full day. It made her feel more alive. On the other hand, once she became fixated on that, she would become a ticking time bomb. Her humanity was dependent upon her never forgetting the fine discipline of deferred gratification. Without that discipline, Sofia and I would rapidly become midnight snacks for her. Not to mention that when that little benefit of live blood ran out, the sun reminded her most poignantly of the cost of her immortality.

Serana felt the force come right back at her and she instinctively recoiled and said, "Of course."

And there was a method to my madness. I wanted Serana fighting those dragons with her hood down because most of the fight would consist of fireballs and fire bolts, ice spikes, and lighting into the sky with arrows to make up the difference after the magicka was exhausted. When the sun burns bright on a vampire's eyes, blue sky isn't baby blue, it's blue hot blue and Serana could barely look up, even with a hood, let along fight a dragon hovering overhead. And so the schedule was brigand's camp, then dragon, then brigand's camp, then dragon. Of course there were some unanticipated delays such as the giant attacking that orc tribal settlement, which we thought would be a quick easy loot grab given the orcs needed help. That was Largashbur, and it ended up with us getting involved in the tribal politics with the Daedric Prince Malacath engaging in his own brand of orc refinement. Suffice to say, Serana got to eat an Orc Tribal Chieftain when he tried to turn on us.

"Tasted rather muddy," was her summation of that fight.

Malacath rewarded us with a massive two handed war hammer which none of us could use and no one would buy. Serana found this confusing given how powerful and rare Daedric artifacts are supposed to be.

"Daedric artifact, you take it out of it's box, and put it on the table so you can look at it, and it's already killed half your family," was my explanation.

"Get rewarded by a Daedric prince, Big Whoop," was Sofia's response. "If there's no booze, I'm not interested. Now Sanquine . . ."

"Got you so drunk you woke up married to me," I inserted.

"Oh yeah, but I kind of like how that turned out," was her reply. Then she paused. "Don't you?" There was death in her tone of voice.

"I have loved the consequences, darling," I replied. "It has made my life worth living."

"Of course," she replied.

Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly and have loved her now for years. But our conversations during our early life together don't always reflect that. Seri at one point after a rather heated exchange asked me why I had stayed with Sofia given that we bickered so often.

"We like bickering so we stay married to do it more conveniently," I answered.

Serana also began to get used to the fact that we got so comfortable in her presence that we persisted in fighting about everything in front of her. During one particularly knock down drag out over where a few hundred septims from the loot was going to go (Wagon payment or Alto Wine, guess what Sofi's choice was) Serana just stood there holding up an steadily increasing number of fingers.

"What in oblivion are you doing?" snapped Sofia at one point noticing this.

"Keeping score of the good insults," replied Serana. "It's running neck and neck with each of you at four."

And then there was the group of revelers who thought we were tired and suggested we share a bottle of Honningbrew Mead with them. They didn't know Sofia at all, and that was their fatal mistake. That was an entire day and Sofia was carried back by me and Serana.

"You know, if I had played the part of scary vampire they might have run screaming and Sofia wouldn't have kept us there so long with her drinking contests," sighed Serana.

"And they would have spread the alarm and we'd have a thousand angry farmers with torches and priests chanting down the sun upon us," I replied.

"Oh right," sighed Serana. "I kind of forget that my reputation can spread really fast on occasion."

"Everything's so swingy," slurred Sofi at that juncture. "Can we move slower?"

"No," replied Serana.

But we were lucky. There was a mercenary who had been killed and plundered of his very fine set of Ebony Armor in one brigand camp and that netted us 2,000 just by itself. There were a few enchanted weapons as well and so on the evening of the 10th, I was able to pay the last of what I owed Balimund and the three of us just looked at the new nicely painted caravan wagon sitting outside by the stables.

It was about one and a half times as wide as your typical taxi wagon, the sort which you could rent for 20 septims to take you to the main centers of Skyrim and likewise one and a half times as long. It was completely enclosed with a peaked roof so that the rain would slough off the top. There was a built in awning over the driving seat so that two could sit there and drive the wagon in sun or rain. And there was a set of four small windows on the sides. A door and detachable stair enabled you to get into the back.

The inside was simply the sort of thing that sparks the imaginations of young boy's dreams of adventure. The first thing was the small iron stove which was built into the frame so that none of it's heated edges could come into contact with the wood. There were the necessary pots and pans needed to cook and bake with it hanging from a set of hooks built into the ceiling above it. Then you had the food pantry area where a few days of flour, herbs, and spices could be stored. On the other side was a long couch with drawers underneath for storage. But two small boards could be lowered from the side to provide small arm tables for eating inside if necessary. Then you got to the back. A double bed was elevated above a collection of cabinets which were deep for the storage of clothing, armor, weapons, and general adventure loot. You got up to the double bed by means of a stair ladder built on the right side of the wagon. Then underneath it was a small walk in closet which went all the way back. The entire interior had been varnished so that the warm soft golds and honeys of the wood gleamed and glistened in the faint light.

"But where am I going to sleep?" asked Serana, somewhat shocked and not a little disappointed.

I smiled. "Look down in the closet," I said.

She peaked in. Down at the foot of the closet, underneath collection of hanging hooks for the nice clothing, was a full length coffin lined with stuffed velvet.

"They think it's just in case one of us is killed and we need to bury OOF!" was what I said next. You see Serana was giving me the sort of rib cracking hug only a preternaturally strong vampire can give.

"Ah HEM!" suggested Sofia who was somewhat tolerant of Serana's occasional expressions of affection but not that much. And then she said "HUGH!" as Serana hugged her as tightly. Then we stepped back out and I showed them the two horses I had gotten. Like most horses, they are mostly interested in the feed bags which were on their heads.

"What do you think we should name them?" I asked the two girls.

Serana sniffed. "Salty and Spicy," she suggested.

"Doofus and Mofo," was Sofia's suggestion. "They look kind of dumb standing there with their noses in their feed bags. Is that all they think of? Eating? I hate people who are so fixated on what goes in their mouths." she paused. "Don't give me that look, Valentine, I know what you're thinking!"

"I was thinking Spunky and Sparky," I proposed.

"No way!" insisted Sofia.

"Simply awful," agreed Serana.

"Well we can't just call them a great pair," I proposed, half in jest, looking very intently at Sofia's chest just to play with her mind a bit. Her response was somewhat expected, she simply took a breath and pushed her chest out a bit and gave me one of those "I'm hot and I know it," glances which for some crazy reason or another I happen to find rather sensual. Something about the way she looks at me under her eyelids.

We settled on calling them "the horses". It wasn't so much a plan as something that evolved out of necessity since we had to call them something. Serana on occasion called them snuggle bunnies because they were warm and she liked laying on top of them at times simply because she could feel that heat radiating up from them. I found out about this particular quirk of Serana's one evening a few nights later when it was icy cold outside and Sofia went to throw the dirty dishwater out and I heard her cry "You Pervert! What are you doing?" and since I was inside reading I suspected it wasn't me she was accusing. I stuck my head out and there Serana was, on top of the horse, just laying down, not quite unlike a horse racing jokey, way more relaxed and content.

"Haven't you ever seen someone just lay down on top of a horse?" snapped Serana at that juncture. "It's not that different from sitting on one you know."

"It looks like doggie style," retorted Sofia.

"I'm a woman and on top!" argued Serana back.

"She has a point Sofi," I observed. "If she really was looking to do it with a horse she would be on her back in a harness below it and . . ."

"CHANGE THE SUBJECT NOW!" shouted Serana.

Okay, I fess up, I was playing with Serana's mind. She simply had no sex drive. There was nothing you could do to her that even remotely aroused her in a sexual manner. (And no I didn't try. I love my life and Sofia is insanely jealous) The closest I was ever able to observe that resembled a sexual response was her reaction to blood. Only then could she start to breath heavily and start to stare intently and give you those soft sensual looks that women are prone to having when they are in the mood. She understood how men responded to women and played that up to lure more than a few victims in. But the reason why she was so successful looking aroused was because she was thinking of the target's blood, and smelling it. But around us, she got quickly unnerved when we started such suggestive banter. Needless to say, while Serana eventually got used to me being around when she was warming herself up on one of the horses, should Sofia pop out of the wagon or come back from buying supplies, she would quickly slide off.

There was one other consequence of Serana's decision to use the horses as heating pads, she began to smell like them.

But all these little quirks and moments of amusement were in the future. We left Riften at sunrise on the 11th. We bid our farewells to Keerava, hitched up the wagon, and with me at the reins, Sofi by my side on the right, and Serana asleep in her coffin inside, we set out down the road, heading north towards Windhelm and the Mage's College. The plan was simple, we would take a widdershins route through Skyrim stopping first at the Mage's College in Windhelm to find out about the one Elder Scroll which both Dexion and Esbern seemed to think was vital to both the Dragons and Harkon, and then, once we had learned what we could from the Mages in Winterhold, we would see what was next in line. Either we would he heading to Volkihir's Castle Courtyard, or the location of the Elder Scroll we had termed The Dragon Scroll, as opposed to The Seri Scroll and The Valerica Scroll.

For the first hour or so, the wagon rolled over the cobblestone road past the farms and villages and watch towers of Riften. It was a gentle morning and quiet since this area was patrolled by both Stormcloaks and Riften Guard. While there was nothing official, I was unofficially 'an Imperial but a good one' who's sympathies with the Stormcloak movement were noted. While Laila Lawgiver, the Jarl, had not done much to communicate with me yet, outside of nodding with approval when her steward paid us the bounties, it was pretty much understood that I had free passage in Riften and my actions were not to be too deeply questioned. Even Maven Blackbriar had given me no trouble simply because she had not realized that I was the one who had put up Jarl Elisif to the distraction in the Embassy. So all the explosions and mess which had wreaked havoc on her precious Thieve's guild when we had extracted Esbern was not as of yet linked to me and Sofi. The only person who was at all suspicious was Lalia's steward, Anuriel. Her job, apparently, was to keep Lalia completely in the dark about the Thieve's Guild, but especially Maven's ties to it. The three way circus had been more than a headache for her in keeping all the vital information out of Lalia's ears. While she had nothing definite yet, seeing as she was not privy to the events at the embassy, she remained suspicious.

For a while, Sofi was just sitting next to me, and we did small talk about day to day living and chores and who was going to cook which meals and who would be responsible for the animals and all that rather mundane stuff, but as the sun rose higher and the leaves of the birches glimmered more colorfully, she snuggled up to me and began to hold my arm.

"Valentine?" she queried. "I'm not drunk, I'm not making love, I'm not entirely comfortable either because it's kind of cold and there's no heading pad under the cushion, which I seem to recall I told you to have them put in, and I threw up this morning first thing, but I'm kind of happy. You would think I would know why I was happy, but I can't figure it out."

"I did talk with Balimund about having a heating trough under the seat cushions, but then I'd have to give something else up which I thought you would appreciate there."

"What?"

"Sit on my lap and I'll show you," I replied.

She complied while I handed the reins over to her and I leaned over, lifted up the cushion and opened up a little lid built into the wood frame under the cushion and pulled out a bottle of mead which I passed over to Sofi. She happily plopped onto her cushion, pulled the cork out with her teeth, and took a generous swig from the bottle.

"All better?" I queried.

"I guess," she replied and commenced to hum a very haunting Morrowind melody.

"I still don't know why I'm happy though," she observed a moment later.

"Maybe it's because you have a guy who loves you and tells you so all the time," I suggested.

"That's only what I deserve," objected Sofia. "Getting what is owed you by life doesn't make you happy."

"It doesn't?" I asked.

"No, it doesn't. And if you think I don't recognize that tone in your voice, Valentine. . ."

"Then it's an act of futility to deny it I presume," I sighed.

Sofia nodded triumphantly and settled back to take another sip or two of her mead.

"So what makes you think life owes you anything?"

"I'm pretty, young, great fighter, great lover, great drinker, great singer. . . Hey, what isn't there to like about me?"

There was a pregnant pause.

"Valentine? I know you're thinking something, you have that expression."

More silence for a moment, following by a rather loud slosh from inside the mead bottle followed by a slightly testy gulp. It was Sofia taking out her initial annoyance on the mead she was drinking. Poor little bottle of mead, what had it ever done to her? Well this was my cue that I needed to say something before she concluded I was being particularly sarcastic towards her. She knew the cues by now. Living with me for the past four months had done that.

"How in oblivion would I know what is making you happy," I sighed. "I've always been happy, I don't know what it's like to be unhappy."

"What?" exclaimed Sofia, not believing a word of it.

Her skepticism was somewhat justifiable. I had at times, just after adolescence, suffered bouts of depression and loneliness. But those had been passing and for the most part, my life had been reasonably a happy one and I saw no real issues to ruin it for me. Yes, my mother's obsession with me being heir had driving me from home, but I had seen so much, learned so much, met so many people on the way. Yes, Sofia was very self-centered and irresponsible, but damn it she was beautiful, she never would abandon me, and she was carrying my child. She was also more than capable an adventuring partner, and she was learning music. Once I got her to master the fine art of singing the right verses and not improvise new words, I would be having her singing duets with me and solos by herself.

"No way you've always been happy. Everyone is unhappy, that's what it's always been!" she insisted.

I shook my head. "Not for me," I replied. "I'm happy right now."

"Well of course," she retorted. "You're with me."

By now you should have guessed that I had a rather snappy retort ready but something in the back of my head hit me over it with a hard mallet and I held my tongue and thought for a second.

"You are part of it," I replied smiling to her.

She found my expression odd. She was certain I was about to be obnoxious. Not that I blamed her, that was only par for the course. But I was needing to figure this out for myself as well. I had to have an answer because I had this sneaking suspicion that Serana would need it as well. There was a vampire happily dead in her coffin below us. She wouldn't hear a thing I knew, being dead does that. But in the long run, she was not happy and I knew it. I had to know what made us happy so that I could point her in that direction. Her cure was going to depend on it. And I had no illusions. If she never got cured, sooner or later she would turn on us. It might be only for a single moment or instant, but that would be all it would take to get us killed. It was like a pretty gingerbread house. The sugar sparkles in the light, the icing covers the house in pretty colors, it's really fun and magical to look at especially when you're a kid. But once you're hungry enough, you'll eat it. Yes, she liked us. Yes she knew she could count on us. But get us caught in a desert with no food in sight, sooner or later, she'd eat us. If you've ever, for health reasons, had to forgo eating as much as you like, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If the food is just sitting there in front of you, moment by moment, sooner or later you will crack. Part of the secret of controlling your eating to the point where the absence of food is being felt by your stomach, requires you to have to make sure you can't see it, you can't smell it, and it's not just an arm's reach away. Serana was a vampire. And that made us her food. Harkon's designation of vampire and prey was right on the money. As brutal as he had been about it, he was essentially telling us the truth. Serana didn't want to believe that just yet. But circumstances brought about by simple adventuring were suggesting that to her and we were feeding the crocodile every time we hit a brigand camp. But then the next day there she would be, looking at a butterfly on a flower and cooing with delight like a little kid and Sofi and I would be ready to do it again for her.

"But it's more than just you," I said.

"How could it possibly be anything more than me?" she exclaimed.

"Because it also has to do with how I respond to you," I continued. Dealing with Sofia's self-inflated ego one oh one, it's a skill not easily mastered. "Face it girl, you say things which can be hurtful right?"

"Well that's the way I see it, they can like it or lump it."

"Well I choose to not lump it," I replied. "And because of that, I remain happy."

"No way you like it when I say hurtful things to you," she came back. She had no idea what she had just admitted to of course.

"I didn't say I liked it," I replied. "But I choose to not let it get to me. I remind myself of your good qualities and that keeps me from getting all upset when you act like a bitch."

"So you're calling me a bitch now?" Her voice was rising to dangerous levels.

"Are you saying you never feel just a little bit bitchy when something bad happens to you?"

"Of course I feel bitchy at times. I have a right to feel bitchy and when things are not the way they are supposed to be. Of course I bitch about it. That's only my right!"

"Well one of the reasons why I stay happy is because I let you be that way," I concluded.

Sofia was quite for a moment.

"Valentine?" she said rather irritably. "Why do I feel like you've just pulled something over me?"

You don't lie to your wife. But that doesn't mean you have to open up and spill the beans either. I just let the reins rest in my hands and looked directly in her eyes and tried to convey the love I had for her in that glance.

"You are happy because you overlook my bad qualities," I said. "You are happy because you are not letting the bad things in our life get in the way. You are happy right now because you can only see the good which is happening to you, a man next to you who loves you totally, a nice home in Solitude, a fun romantic wagon to adventure in, and a buddy to do girl stuff with, and of course, there's mead about as well."

Sofia paused and seemed to think about it for a moment.

"Oh well," she sighed. "It's as good an answer as any."

"Can I have a kiss?" I asked.

She sighed and looked up and planted a nice big long massage the back of the throat with the tongue tip sort of kiss on me and it was all better. She snuggled up to me and the road continued to descend into the steaming hot springs swamps which separated the highlands of Riften from the bay lands of Windhelm. She finished her mead and looked at me hopefully. I commenced to look as if I hadn't a clue to what she was suggesting and after a moment, she scooted over, lifted the cushion, checked under the lid, sighed, and then sat back down.

"I just thought of something," she continued.

"Oh?" I replied.

"For the first time in weeks it's just you and me," she continued. "That makes me happy to. I mean I like Serana and all but she's always there and I can't feel entirely at ease if you know what I mean."

"Well she is only just a few feet from us," I pointed out.

"But she's in her coffin. She won't hear anything until sunset. You know how 'dead' she sleeps when she's in a coffin."

"True," I mused.

"And there's no one on the road either and these horses just kind of know how to drive themselves and so . . ."

Suddenly she was straddling me in my lap and her hands were reaching for bits and pieces of me which, were she any other person, would have been entirely inappropriate and utterly unacceptable.

"Sofi!" I began.

"I've always wanted to do something like this," she mused, "And there's no one to stop us."

"Since when," I replied, struggling to concentrate while her skill at distracting me from the mission at hand was rapidly increasing at a rate far faster than I was able to muster the will to resist.

"Since I realized we could, about a moment ago," she softly said. She was looking at me out from under her eyelids like she does when she's in that mood, and I confess, I was convinced by that point that the horses would drive themselves for a few moments.

Yes, you can make love while driving a wagon down the roads of Skyrim, but we were professional adventurers, and knew what we were doing. Don't try this at home, folks.

It was late afternoon, and we were in the winterlands of Skyrim. I say that somewhat tongue and cheek because fall was so far past that there was precious little difference between this snow covered vista and the lands a bit south. We had passed Kynesgrove. I had paused curiously and sure enough, the dragon mound where I had tackled Sofia was now open. Alduin had come to it. We had crossed the bridge in front of Windhelm but turned to the west and ridden up the road towards Yorgrim Lake. There was a single close call but I could see the rising magical steam and stopped the wagon. Through the trees Alduin was circling and summoning up yet another dragon. That was an hour of hiding. Yes, we could have taken out the one dragon, but I had no idea if Alduin had reached a point where he regarded me as a threat to him. I was not in the mood to take on an ordinary dragon when he was around. Alduin flew to the east, and the other dragon flew to the west and we were able to move on.

That had been an hour prior. Now I was halting the wagon again and looking ahead at the Fort which was 250 yards in front of us. It was known as Fort Kastav and we had to pass right by it if we were going to get to Winterhold. Sofia had found the 'secret' opening behind us which enabled her to crawl into the wagon onto the top of our bed and she had slipped in to 'check the fire' but I suspected she was searching for mead. Failing that, she likely took advantage of the feather mattress to take a nap. But I really didn't know what she was doing in there, and about ten seconds after I had brought the horses to a halt, I heard the sliding netted panel and the opening of the hatch and Sofia stuck her head out.

"Why are we stopped?" she asked. "Are we there yet?"

That was a question which, a few years later when we had several kids, would have prompted me to say "If you ask me that one more time I will turn this wagon around and go back home!" But there were no children as of yet. "No," I replied. "Look ahead and tell me what you see," I added, pointing towards the Fort.

Sofia took three second before she said, "Skeletons, which means Necromancers."

"Right," I said with a sigh. "Looks like we get to clear a fort for the Thanes."

Sofia wiggled out of the wagon and closed the hatch behind her. "We want to wake Serana?"

I was half tempted to say, "No, let her sleep." But then it dawned on me that she would be highly annoyed if she found out we had take out an encampment and she had been denied her 'dinner'.

"What do you think?" I asked. "I'm fairly certain that we can do this on our own, and if we include Serana, she will help herself to one of them and expect our full cooperation picking her target."

Sofia sighed. "I hate watching her bite and drain them. But it makes her so happy afterwards."

"But she's getting to expect it," I replied. "Like it's her due. And that's really starting to bug me."

"Valentine," replied Sofia. "They're necromancers. They'll use our corpses for all sorts of magic stuff. They will attack us just so they can use our corpses. We can't just ride by. While I hate watching her eat them, I have less sympathy for Necromancers than I do Brigands."

"I know I know," I sighed. "It's just that . . ."

"I'll wake her," concluded Sofia. Apparently she wasn't going to let me wallow in self-reflective ethics in front of a Necromancer's Lair. There was the sound of thumping and Sofia's 'Get up already!' for a moment or two and then the back door opened and Serana came out hooded and looking ahead. Sofia was behind her.

"Necromancers," sighed Serana. "They always taste a little dusty and spoiled, but . . ." she paused. "I never feel guilty taking them out."

I blew the skeletons off the walls with a trio of fireballs and then gulped down a set of magicka potions. It was overkill for skeletons but we were far away and I wanted to make sure they were dealt with. Then as I gulped down magicka potions, the three of us closed in on the fort. The Necromancers replied with ice spikes and lightning bolts but there were only three of them which meant we only had to kill the first two twice. Yes, the moment their own fell, the Necromancers would raise them as corpses. But the last one was a Altmer and she was dangerous. I threw up my ward and began to advance upon her as she hurled fireball after fireball at it, thanks to the enchanted staff she was holding. Maintaining a ward is a skill which requires careful thinking. You throw up one too strong and you're out of magicka long before they are. You throw up one too weak, and they blow right through it. But if you time it right, if you have the right strength, and if you have a ring of Magicka regeneration, a potion of Magicka regeneration, and a generous helping of Elsweyr Fondue prior to the fight, you can keep the ward up for a good long time. And I was being the target with Sofia behind me ducking out from behind the ward to take a pot shot with her lighting bolts on a regular basis.

"I will make your corpse dance!" the Altmer said mocking.

"Might be a good idea to surrender now," I replied. "You are in far more peril than you realize."

"What? Surrender to an Imperial? We Thalmor are only biding our time before all of you are under our thumbs and your bodies do our bidding!"

"Last chance," I suggested looking just behind her.

"If you think I'm going to fall for that trick . . ." she began. And then she shrieked as two arms wrapped around her and pinned them to her sides and a pair of teeth sunk into her throat. "No! Not like this! I don't want to die like this!"

"It wasn't a trick," I sighed. "And we never get in the way of Serana and her prey. But funny how your perspective changes when it's your body that's being taken."

"No please!" the elf cried. Sofia and I turned away and walked back to the wagon. We rode the wagon into the courtyard of the fort and settled in for the night. Serana had already taken the corpse of the Altmer necromancer away so all that was left in the courtyard as daylight rapidly faded were the bones and weapons of the skeletons and a couple of ash piles where the other two Necromancers had fallen. Sofia and I spent some time combing the fort for anything of value and then came back with the food and drink and began cooking. Serana hung out by the horses for a bit before she came into the wagon and sat down looking kind of melancholy.

"You get your hood off tomorrow," I observed, trying to be chipper about it.

"Yay," she sighed.

"What's the matter?" queried Sofia.

"She started to cry at the end and blubbered as she begged," sighed Serana. "I started to feel bad for her . . . But . . . I couldn't stop drinking it was just so . . . I just wanted that blood so bad . . ."

"Feeling guilty?" I queried. I was going to take advantage of this, yes. My goal was to see this woman cured.

"I don't know," mused Serana. "I shouldn't. I mean . . . She was a necromancer. She took bodies and made them do unnatural things. She deserved to die given how many murderers she had committed in her time. But, she whimpered like a child so much I kept thinking she wasn't a Necromancer, just a poor defenseless elf whom I was deliberately destroying."

You never know with a victim. Are they crying because they are scared and sorry? Or are they crying because they found that it manipulates the target into doing one's bidding. I could have said all sorts of things to try to make Serana feel better, but I knew she needed this guilty sensation. I walked over and put my hands on Sofia's shoulders, who was busy stuffing her face with bread, butter, and honey and who's cheeks were just a little puffed out from the chewing as a consequence and looked straight at Serana.

When woman need sympathy or comfort, tactile assurance is often essential to them. Sofia however was quite jealous so I had begun a sort of subliminal method of conveying sympathy to Serana. I would place my hands gently on Sofia and look into Serana's eyes as I expressed myself. She seemed to sense that I was, in some sense tactically reassuring her as well. Sofia of course was more than happy to have my hands on her, especially on the shoulders since that was where she liked her back rubs begun.

"I never have gotten up in the morning and looked forward to the opportunity to kill someone," I suggested. "But when things like this happen, you do it. But it's good to feel bad about it. It's reminding you that you are human." And that was the point of my response. I had reminded Serana that she had been human once and could be again.

"Seriously," added Sofia, holding a chunk of bread in one hand and a spoon dripping with honey in the other. "I hack off their heads, Valentine burns off their heads, all you do is bite off their heads."'

"That's what I keep telling myself," Serana replied. "But when you hack and burn, you don't hear them die. I do. And it's bothering me tonight."

"Feelings are complex," sighed Sofia after another mouthful or two. "So I get drunk and then I don't have to worry about them until I fall asleep. And then when I wake up the next morning with a hangover, my head hurts to much to worry about it. And by the time Valentine has massaged my head, scratched my back, gotten me his hangover cure, and helped me dress, and kissed me a couple of times, I've forgotten all about them and so the problem is solved!"

"Lucky you," suggested Serana who was slightly smiling. She looked at Sofia taking massive bites out of the bread loaf, smeared with butter and honey, and then looked back at me who was mostly looking at the back of Sofia's head and getting lost in the thick black of her long hair. I was experiencing one of those curious welling of emotions where you get kind of amazed and astounded that you have a woman so beautiful as your own.

"Aroumph," suggested Sofia, taking yet another massive bite of bread, butter, and honey. There she was, stuffing her face like a piggy and her husband was lost in rapturous love gazing fondly upon her.

Serana smiled a little. "I think I'm going to check up on the horses, see that they are in the stable with blankets and hay. Then maybe take a nice long walk in the snow under the stars and enjoy the night. Won't be back for hours at least. So don't wait up for me. Go to bed . . . when you're . . . in the mood. And she walked out of the wagon and gently closed the door behind her.

"Was she hinting something?" asked Sofia looking up at me. There were smears of butter on her chin. It was going to be one of those nice nights you sometimes have when you are on an adventure.


	19. Chapter 19 - A Song For The Mages

"Yes yes yes," whispered Sofia snugging up to me. "Right there, yes, back and forth. Oh Oh Oh Hnnnnnnnnng Hnnnnnnnng Ungggggggggggggg Now there over there yes OH yes that feels so good now up and down there there there uhhhhhhhhhh."

"Will you two please STOP?" came a rather embarrassed voice of Serana through the bed curtain which separated our double bed loft from the rest of the wagon.

Sofia sighed, rolled over, reached to part the curtain aside and sticking her head through asked, "What's wrong with having my back scratched?"

"That's what that was?"

"Well yeah," continued Sofia, now crawling out of the bed and working her way through the drawn curtain and down the ladder into the rest of the wagon. Her long thick flannel nightshirt covered everything from her neck to her ankles so she was looking very prim and proper, though there was nothing on underneath and it had only gone on her after a very long and romantic love making session the evening before. I remained in bed enjoying the warmth of the covers and softness of the mattress for a moment. Besides, Sofia would have to pass up my clothes if Serana did not leave the wagon since I had not felt the need to get dressed the night before.

"Haven't you ever made love before Seri?" queried Sofia. "'cause I would think you could tell the difference."

"No," replied Serana. "I have not made love and what experiences I had were not enjoyable." That was a reference to the Molog Bal rape no doubt. I wouldn't have called that making love either.

"Well it's really simple," continued Sofia, chattering away as if she were merely commenting upon the weather. "Making love is way more intense than back scratching so when it gets really good at the end I always start calling out Valentine's name unless I'm fantasizing about making love to some other really good looking guy like Jarl Balgruuf or Eorland Greymane or Falk Firebeard who's got those really great shoulders and then I'll . . ."

There was a pause laden with suggestive atmosphere.

"Just shut up now?" suggested Serana.

"Yeah," finished Sofia.

I closed my eyes and sighed. It didn't exactly hurt, but I didn't like what I had just heard. For better or worse, you keep happy by forgetting the worse so I let my mind start to wander into some other topic. A second or so later, Sofia was back up to the bed with my short-clothes and breeches. I slipped them on and worked on making the bed a bit. That was somewhat difficult though I presumed I'd figure it out at some point. The problem was simple enough. Three sides were enclosed by walls and there was only three feet between the top of the bed and the ceiling. And there was only one effective way to reach the bed and that was by means of the step ladder. I finished the job and worked my way over to the closet to see if I could find a shirt. Meanwhile Sofia began to try to cook something on the stove and Serana walked out of the wagon. Just as I finished pulling the shirt over me, she opened the door back and said, "Val? I think you need to come out here."

I pulled on some boots and walked out and found myself face to face with a dozen Stormcloaks.

"Yes?" I queried.

"Imperial," one of them barked. "What are you doing here?"

"Camping," I suggested. "This fort was filled with Necromancers who had no intention of letting us pass unmolested so we killed them. And as it was dark, we simply camped here."

"Where are you going?" he continued.

"Winterhold," I replied. "I need information from the Mages at the college there."

The problem with Nords is that they have a very serious suspicion of all things magic. Their eyes narrowed.

"Imperial," he continued. "Why are you looking for information from those . . . Mages."

"Because my name is Valentine Florian, the Dragonborn, and I need to find the means to defeat the dragons before Alduin, the world eater, destroys us all."

That caused a bit of a stir and there was a brief debate among the Stormcloaks.

"The same who swore he would live and breath a Stormcloak before High King Ulfric?"

"Until my head flies off my body," I replied. "So help yourselves to the fort. I have no further use for it."

Now granted there was nothing anywhere which even remotely suggested that this fort belonged to me, but by 'giving' it to them, that seemed to please them. It sort of confirmed that I was indeed a Stormcloak by oath. Now I freely admit I had not taken out those Necromancers for the express purpose of giving the fort to the Stormcloaks and likewise had this patrol been two hours later, they would have found the fort abandoned entirely and no doubt taken it regardless. The war was heating up and every single tower and fortification in the land was being occupied at this point. So they nodded, thanked me, and by the time we rode out of the fort an hour later, the Bear Banner of the Stormcloaks was fluttering above the walls of the fort. The road turned north and we proceeded through the snow swept lands. To our left for the first part of the ride the great statue to the Daedric Princess Azura stood tall and proud in the mountains. It was quite the spectacle since it was seldom that anyone put that much effort into any monument let alone to Azura. But eventually we passed it and over the next few hours, the tall cliffs obscured it.

It was mid-afternoon before we reached Winterhold and pulled the wagon into the Inn. While I saw no point in sleeping in the Inn, we could play for food and drink there and likewise, the horses could be stabled while we spent time in the College. There was some sort of dispute going on the street between a woman chiding a guy on how he was drinking all their money away, I presumed it was his wife. Sofia gave me a look which was fraught with meaning and warning.

We reached the platform which led to the College. There was a woman waiting on it for us.

"Cross the bridge at your own peril . . . Wait! It's . . . You." she said looking at Sofia.

"Um, Hi Faralda," suggested Sofia.

Faralda's next gesture was somewhat curious unless you knew Sofia's history with the college. She instinctively tried to cover her groin and breasts even though she was fully robed. It was only a brief and hardly complete action but I noted it immediately. Serana noted it as well and was somewhat unnerved by the behavior for a second or so.

"Why are you here?" Faralda queried, or accused, the tone was somewhat fuzzy on that count.

"I am here to gain information from the College," I replied. "We need to find an Elder Scroll and are hoping to question mages in order to find out it's location, if any."

"The way is dangerous," she replied. "And . . ."

"Yeah yeah yeah," sighed Sofia. "And the gate will not open unless you cast the opening spells so get on with it already? It's cold and you don't want me casting any magic out here do you?"

That was a threat laden with potential peril or amusement, depending on your age, sex, and involvement.

Faralda however was a consummate professional, and bureaucrat and she insisted on going through the ritual regardless of Sofia's impatience.

"It seems," she replied. ". . . that the college has what you seek. The question is now what you can offer the college. Not just everyone is allowed inside. Those wishing to enter must show some degree of skill with magic."

"Let us in already or I'll show you just what sort of skill I've got and you don't want Valentine seeing the results I'm thinking unless you want him to laugh at you!"

"Must you?" sighed Serana to Sofia.

"Sofi?" I suggested. "I've learned that spell too. You cast it on anyone and then I'll cast it on you."

"So?" she shot back. But I noted her hands remained firmly at her side.

"Will you grant entrance to the Dragonborn?" I asked Faralda.

"Dragonborn? Can you prove that?"

"FUS!" I shouted to her right so that the force only brushed past her. Even so, it staggered her.

"Dragonborn," she gasped. "I had heard you were in Skyrim, but I didn't know who you were." She paused. "How did Sofia latch on to you? What did she pull . . . ?"

"The latching was mutual," I replied with a bit of embarrassed smile. "She is my wife."

"I . . . see . . ."

I placed my hand on Serana's shoulder. "And this is Serana, my sister."

Serana gently smiled, and there was a curious warmth to it that I hadn't noticed prior. I could have sworn that she liked the idea of being a sibling.

"Pleased to meet you Serana . . ?"

"Florian," replied Serana. "Serana Florian."

"I will lead you across the bridge," said Faralda. "Once you are across, you want to speak with Mirabelle Ervine and she'll direct you from there."

I nodded and Faralda led us forward dispelling the wards as we went. We walked in to the courtyard and the snow continued to fall. Mirabelle was in the middle of lecturing a Thalmor Mage or Inquisitor, I wasn't sure which, on what was expected of him in the College and he was clearly trying to remain polite though his tone suggested polity was beneath him.

She turned to face us. There was a welcoming smile which suddenly faded as she scanned our party.

"Why are you here?" she queried, somewhat annoyed, to Sofia. "Didn't we suggest you continue your studies elsewhere?"

"I'm with Valentine Florian," replied Sofia slightly belligerently. "The DRAGONborn . . . My HUSband."

In the Imperial City, if you are a boy with a pet dog you are taking on a walk down the streets, there is a look that women will give you if you happen to be walking by their homes with your pet. This look suggests very strongly that you keep your little doggie on it's leash. I was reminded of this particular expression at this juncture because I was getting it from Mirabelle.

"I'll do what I can," I suggested.

"What?" queried Sofia, who clearly missed the meaning of Mirabelle's gaze and my reply.

I brought Mirabelle up to speed on why we were here and for what and she gave me quick directions to the Arcanaeum, which was the library for the college.

"I could have told him that," objected Sofia the moment Mirabelle had started giving the directions.

"But would you have?" she snapped back. "I haven't forgotten all those students who showed up in the Arch-Mage's quarters at all hours of the night with notes instructing them to retrieve The Lusty Argonian Maid, Volumes one through four."

"It was a joke?" offered Sofia weakly.

I thanked Mirabelle and with a 'come on Sofi' I put my hand on her shoulder and gently guided her towards the right staircase. Serana was behind me with a little grin. It was clear she was amused by what was happening.

"Do J'zargo's eyes deceive him? Or is his favorite study partner back in the college?" There was a Khajit coming down the stairs, a black and grey striped fellow who seemed to be the first person pleased to see Sofia.

"J'zargo!" squealed Sofia who promptly gave him a hug and ear scratch.

"J'zargo has missed Sofia. Her casting of the nude spell was most distracting when J'zargo needed to secure things that should there have been witnesses, misunderstandings would have arisen."

"J'zargo?" continued Sofia. "This is Valentine, my husband and my best friend Serana. We're here to save the world."

"Saving the world is most ambitious, J'zargo would offer assistance but his studies preclude it right now. Perhaps when J'zargo figures out the effect of some of his more powerful spells J'zargo will be able to help."

"Assistance is always appreciated," I replied. "But are you ready to fight dragons face to face?"

"J'zargo wishes to be a mage great enough that dragons flee at the rumor of his approach. Perhaps J'zargo should come so that the reputation begins to spread, but no, my studies are still incomplete." He looked slightly disappointed. Then he looked at Serana. "J'zargo wishes to suggest to the vampire that he too has fangs."

Serana's eyes widened a bit. "I'm usually pretty good at hiding this," she observed.

"J'zargo knows the signs, and merely wishes to relate his possession of fangs and claws so that the vampire thinks twice about drinking from him."

"You don't have to worry about her," I suggested. "She's a really nice vampire and we do lots of adventure stuff together."

"Serana is pleased to meet J'zargo and she hopes he will forgive her vampiric state so that they might become friends," Serana replied with a curtsy.

"J'zargo wishes to know why Sofia is in the college with her friends," he queried.

So we brought him up to speed as well and naturally, he was most curious about the Elder Scroll and it seemed polite to invite him to come along up to the Arcanaeum though Serana gave me one of those glances which suggested she did not think him above stealing the scroll. I gave her a 'feeling's mutual' gaze back since I suspected the same. The fact that he and Sofia were chatting away like old chums remembering all the horrible things they had done to the other students had only cinched it in my mind. Apparently J'zargo had been the mage who had invented the nude spell. Being Khajit and covered in long or short soft fur, being bereft of garments was not as great an embarrassment as it would be a human.

In the meantime we reached the top of the stairs, walked into the Arcanaeum and were promptly assailed by the smell of old books, fresh vellum, and ink. Well perhaps assailed is too strong a word, but I love that smell and just took a second basking in the odor before yet another interruption to the reverie took place.

"YOU? How DARE you!"

"Sofi it's for you," observed Serana in a sing song tone as we turned around and found ourselves face to face with a young Altmer elf, also a student.

"I don't know why you are back but you won't get me this time, oh no!" she said. "I'm ready for you. So if you cast just one eye, just one, on my new boyfriend I will be swift to finish you off, oh yes."

And with that she marched on.

Sofia rolled her eyes as the woman left.

"All I did was do a little drinking with him," she said. "He was the only guy around. I can't help it if he decided to buy me a few near the end. And I can't remember exactly when I lost my mage robes but accidents happen you know. It's not like I actually slept with him . . . Well I woke up next to him but I wasn't 'sleeping' with him if you know what I mean. I think . . ." she sighed. "Nirya's such a suspicious bitch," she concluded.

"This place sounds like a lot of fun to study magic in," mused Serana. "The drama alone would be worth the work of earning admission."

"J'zargo can only hint at the delights which await the eager student within."

We reached the main counter and there was the chief librarian, Urag gro-Shub who greeted us, told Sofia that no he had no copies of The Lusty Argonian Maid, whereupon she insisted she hadn't even asked, whereupon he replied 'this time' and then told us that if we so much as mussed a page we would be torn apart by angry atronachs. From there it was queries about Elder Scrolls and the a pile of books were placed upon the counter and Serana and I began to read. Sofia was supposed to read, but in a matter of moments, she found an excuse and she and J'zargo were in a corner whispering to each other and Sofia was giggling. Then they got up and left. I looked up and watched them go. Apparently there was some concern on my face which prompted Serana to lean over and whisper.

"She's not going to cheat on you Val," she said. "I've talked with her long enough to know that about her."

I looked back at Serana, once again she had that gentle disarming smile on her features. Damn that woman was dangerous.

"How can you be so sure," I asked.

"She loves you," continued Serana. "I've seen that from the start, but there is something that you have done, I'm not sure what, that has made her fiercely loyal to you. She'll betray me and Skyrim long before she betrays you."

I sighed. "I hope you are right," I said.

We returned to our reading, and spent the next five hours doing so, interrupted by only a faint explosion somewhere beneath us, which prompted Urag to look at us, tell us it was nothing, and to resume reading. It was rather dark when I began to get restless and stood up. Serana finished her page, looked up at me and got up as well. We headed back out of the college towards the wagon. When I opened up the door, the entire inside was swathed in blackness. I dispelled it and cast Mage light on all the sconces.

"Is that you Valentine?" came the whispered voice of Sofia. She peaked out from between the bed curtains.

"Yes," I said. "It's me. Where's J'zargo? Didn't you run off with him?"

"J'zargo is hiding in the coffin," came his muffled voice. "It is most convenient for it has a lid which can be closed."

"That's my bed!" snapped Serana, slightly miffed.

"And a most comfortable bed it is," replied J'zargo. "The vampire is very fortunate to have such trusting friends who will allow her such luxuriant sleeping arrangements."

Sofia in the meantime had crawled out of the bed and I noted she was entirely in her adventuring armors, the red and black leathers I had fitted for her from the various vampires we had killed in the past few weeks. They were rumpled, clearly from being lain in, but they were also entirely on and firmly tied, especially the back knot which she could not reach and needed me to tie up for her. I exhaled a bit of relief because in spite of Serana's assurances earlier, I was terrified I'd find them compromised. That would have hurt like oblivion itself. Then I smelled a bit of sulfur on her. Silly of me to presume she had not gotten into some sort of trouble, but at least it was trouble which I could handle.

"That explosion this afternoon?" I began.

"What explosion I have no idea what you are talking about Valentine there was no explosion I was aware of and even if there was an explosion I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding and besides I was with J'zargo the entire time and he didn't hear any explosion either and if he had I'm sure he would have pointed it out and . . ."

"And it was entirely accidental anyway?" I suggested.

"Of course," she replied.

Three . . . Two . . . One . . .

"Damn it," she sighed.

Right on cue.

In the mean time J'zargo had come out of the closet and sort of slinked past Serana's icy stare and was in the opposite corner. I watched his expressions, that curious feline cross between "I know I've been bad" and "I planned it that way" and "How dare you look at me like I've done something bad".

"Well," I suggested. "We were going to have dinner at the Inn, but maybe it would be a good idea to cook it here."

"J'zargo thanks you for the invitation but you need not worry about the Inn for the explosion was in the Midden. Not that J'zargo and Sofia were in the Midden."

"No not at all," agreed Sofia. "That's the College basement and it's just as cold and moldy these days as it was when I was there . . . Um . . . Never mind."

"Sofia darling?" I suggested.

"Valentine?"

"Don't ever change," I said. "I'd hate it if you got so good at denying your mischief that you actually persuaded me you were innocent."

Sofia opened her mouth to protest but I said the magic words "Black Briar Reserve" and she promptly shut up and in a matter of seconds was smiling.

We dined at the Inn that night to little fanfare. Then Serana asked J'zargo to show her the nooks and crannies of Winterhold and J'zargo, after flexing his claws for a second, agreed. Sofia was happily tipsy and so we retired to the wagon and kept ourselves amused for the rest of the evening. Serana came in much later and there was the sound of brushing coming from the closet.

"Serana?" I queried through the curtians.

"Sorry to wake you Val *sighs* there's cat fur in my bed."

"You didn't um . . ."

"Bite a Khajit?" More brushing. "Get that hair in my mouth?" The sound of slapping. "No thank you. I think that's why he agreed to show me around." Some thumping. "Besides, he's Sofi's friend. That would be rather rude of me." Brushing and a sigh. "And he's done me no wrong. I like to have some sort of standards regarding who I feed from. This town is a wreak Val, great for ambushing us should Father track us here. We had best be careful."

"Seri?" I said. "I didn't think you would take a gallon off of J'zargo. I was making sure you were not getting into your own brand of mischief with him."

"You mean like use my night vision and ability to slip in unnoticed to assist him in securing small items from fellow students?"

"Well?" I inquired even though her suggestion had it's own suggestion attached to it.

"He did propose it, and I politely said 'no'."

Sofia meanwhile was waking up and snuggling next to me. I turned and rolled back on my back and felt her hand find that spot on my chest where she could feel my heart beat and her breathing became relaxed and soft and steady. Serana sighed once, settled herself into her coffin and there was nothing more to be heard from her. I fell back asleep.

The next day was entirely filled by research in the Arcanaeum and naturally Sofia got restless and dashed off to find J'zargo within a half an hour of our commencement of reading. I looked at Serana, she looked at me, and we mentally prepared for the disaster which seemed doomed to happen. But the hours slowly ticked by and there was no strange or inexplicable noises or guards making inquiries. Eventually Serana and I got back into the research and we forgot about it for a while. It was later in the afternoon when I came across a book which was almost utter nonsense. It was as if the man had been taken by Sheogorath on a full tour of the Shivering Isles. I proceeded to take the book to Urag and learned very quickly that the author was a fellow Imperial, Septimus Signus, who, while a member of the college, had been up in the ice fields north of the city for months. When I say ice fields, I speak loosely as the ice fields were that part of the Sea of Ghosts which was frozen and glacier for the most part, interspersed with the occasional island. We were in the Winterlands of Skyrim and winter was almost upon us. It was already the 13th of Evening Star. But he was the foremost authority on the Elder Scrolls in Winterhold. We were going to have to talk to him for if anyone knew where the Dragon Scroll would be found, it was him. So Serana and I thanked Urag, returned all the books, and then headed back for the wagon. Serana's hood was up and she was making the sorts of grumbly noises which tell you when a woman is irritated. The sun was shining brightly and there was a cold wind blowing the snow across the road and the snow crystals were reflecting the sun and sparkling. It was not an entirely bad vista, if you were not a vampire.

"If I ask you if you're okay and you say 'I'm fine' in that tone of voice that women use when they are not," I said. "I'm not going to believe you."

"I'm FINE!" snapped Serana.

I looked ahead, there was a curious bit of noise coming from the inn. A curious shouting thumping sort of sound.

"I think I've found Sofi and J'zargo," I mused.

As if the gods themselves were endorsing my deduction, the inn door flew open and Sofi and J'zargo came dashing out following by a couple of Nord men bereft their shirts . . . and trousers. But they were holding on to their axes.

Serana and I paused briefly to exchange 'here we go' glances before my beloved and her kitty ducked behind us and the two men confronted us.

"Get out of the way," one of them growled. "These two cheats have taken our gold and clothing."

"It was a perfectly valid bet," argued Sofi.

"With loaded dice!" one of them shouted.

"J'zargo can not understand how his dice came to be loaded."

"Then explain why they kept coming up 7's when that bitch was throwing them!"

"They weren't loaded at all," argued Sofia. "It's a known fact that the only time dice roll like that is if either the thrower is having a very rare luck streak or she knows telekinesis and has mastered the art of silent casting so that when she throws them she causes them to fall on sevens each time and . . ."

I looked at Serana who nodded knowingly.

"Damn it," muttered Sofia.

"Ah, that would explain why J'zargo's dice suddenly became loaded."

I sighed and held up my hands. "Fortunately we can fix this real fast," I continued. "Sofi? J'zargo? Return their property to them now."

"There was more to the bet than that," continued one of the men. I did not like his grin. Smile that you're getting what's rightfully yours back? Yes, by all means. It's only your due. But there was more to it than what it seems.

"No there wasn't it was only a bet for clothing I'm a married woman and would never dream of betting my body and . . ."

"J'zargo hopes someday, when he's a wise and powerful mage, he knows how to keep his mouth shut."

"Serana hopes that J'zargo tried at least to talk her out of this?"

"J'zargo regrets to inform Serana that it was his idea."

I will admit my anger was starting to percolate. This wasn't funny any more. Oh yes I knew she had thought it was all figured out, she's play her old game and of course come out on top as she always did. But the fact that she did it at all . . ."

"She's my wife," I said with as much stability to my tone as possible. "And so she was not able to bet herself as part of the deal. Take what's rightfully yours and 50 Septims as apology and we'll call it square."

"No no no," one smaller one replied. "We'll take her after we've gotten rid of YOU!"

Okay, they were attacking in their shorts with their axes. It looked like it was going to be over fast and furiously, but life has a way of making your estimations totally way off. The two were at us so fast I was only able to throw up my strongest ward to blunt both axes at the same time. Serana tried to pin one of them from the back almost immediately. Her teeth were out and she had that lustful look on her face. Given she had not gotten a live feeding in several days I was not at all surprised she had totally lost all sense of self-control. Sofia, caught in the horrible grip of guilt, was utterly passive just holding her face with her hands and shaking her head. J'zargo let off a stream of cold which was totally inappropriate for a pair of Nords, even in their short clothes.

"She's a vampire on my back!" screamed the one and the other on cue twirled and put his axe right into Serana's scalp. She ducked, but it looked to be too late, there was a spray of blood and she fell back, staggered holding her head while blood flowed copiously from the wound. I unleashed my fire and J'zargo, catching on as well, let loose as well. Both then focused on us and being that we were primarily mages, both of us were backpedaling as fast as we could. The one on me took a whack with his axe and I swung my body so that the armor gave with the blade and kept me from being cut. But the hit was hard. I knew there would be a bruise and from behind him, it looked like he had hit hard and on target.

"NOT MY VALENTINE!" screamed Sofia who leaped up and ran her blade into the back of the one on me. I noted there were tears in her eyes. She was feeling the guilt and that was good.

The two of us turned and set of a flurry of fire bolts into the back of the one who had nearly backed J'zargo into a wall. The fire was hurting him and he turned and ran seeing there were three of us, his partner was dead, and there was still a vampire to be accounted for.

I panted for a second then turned to face Sofia. The tear streaks glistened in the late afternoon sun.

"Valentine?" she said weakly. She had probably never seen me this angry and she had every right to be frightened by it.

I grabbed her by the arm and swung her around and swatted her hard on the backside.

"I'm sorry!" she yelped.

"You're forgiven," I replied as I swatted her hard again. "Don't you EVER do that again. You are mine and mine forever got it?"

"I'm not your property!" she snapped back.

"We are BOTH each OTHER's property!" I shouted back. "I totally belong to YOU and you totally belong to ME! GOT IT! It's called MARRIAGE!"

I turned to face J'zargo who was leaning up against the wall of Brina's Oddments panting.

"J'zargo hopes this little misunderstanding . . ."

"FUS!" slammed him nicely against the wall as I walked up to him. The nice thing about that shout is that it does it's most damage if you have nothing directly behind you. If you are up against a wall to start with, you'll feed a hard shove, but nothing gets broken if only the first word is used.

"She's my wife," I said quietly raising a fist into his face. "And you will remember that if you wish to avoid future misunderstandings."

"J'zargo wishes to apologize."

"Valentine wishes to inform you that he forgives you," I replied. He might have been imitating Sofia hoping that I would extend the same courtesy to him, he might also have been genuinely sorry. Since I couldn't read minds, I extended proper forgiveness. At least that was what my father told me to do in such circumstances.

Guilt does strange things to people, but if it motivates them to in some fashion try to make amends, they are responding correctly to it. I turned still breathing hard and saw that Sofia was over by Serana trying to 'make it better'. Serana was groggy, her left hand, still clutching her scalp, was covered in blood. Sofia's face was pale and terrified. Suddenly she pulled back her leather sleeve and tried to offer her arm to Serana. Serana violently shook her head and wobbling got up and staggered to the one corpse and then fell on it, digging her teeth into the throat of the corpse. There was a horrible red gash in her hair. I was helpless. I didn't know if my healing spell would work on her. But as she drank, the gash began to heal up. She wasn't at the corpse more than a a few seconds. It had been dead already for a moment and it was likely clotting up. But she was able to stand and look at me with a very pained expression on her face.

"Damn you Sofi," she muttered. "That hurt!"

"I said I was sorry," retorted Sofia.

"Next time," continued Serana frowning. "Lose routinely before you cheat the win!"

"Ah," mused J'zargo. "If you lose money, they won't notice when you win it all back and more. J'zargo is impressed with Serana's cunning."

I rolled my eyes.

"Serana?" I asked. "Can I magically heal you?"

She shook her head.

"Technically," she sighed. "I'm dead. Your heal spells will only hurt me."

I scanned about. There were no guards about and the snow was beginning to fall.

"Let's get this body into a half ruined house and let mother nature take care of it," I suggested.

J'zargo and I hauled the corpse off and tossed it into a drift inside one of the old ruins which marked most of what was left of the eastern part of Winterhold. Then I came back and signaled everyone to meet inside the wagon. Once inside, I got Serana a blood potion which she gulped down almost immediately. Then J'zargo found an excuse to leave and did so. I was not sorry to see him go.

Sofia however was slowly getting more and more afraid. I suspected it was because she had pulled a stunt that had so angered me that there was that nagging suggestion that I just might leave her. I'll be frank. I did nothing to alleviate that fear all evening, even as I discussed the planned trip into the Ice Fields with Serana over the one map I had of the area. There was a narrow spit of land which would take us far out into that bit of ocean which might be our means to find Septimus. By acting as if Sofia was no longer present, I hoped her fears and insecurities would remind her just how dangerous a game she had been playing. Serana, the consummate psychologist and actress, likewise seemed to catch on to what I was doing and did nothing either. That gash on her head still had not entirely healed and the blood potion had done precious little, if anything, to help. Now I will freely admit that Serana's own blood lust had gotten her nearly killed given how good those two fighters were. But again, a little pain would hopefully enable her to rethink just how self-focused she had gotten on the chance of a live feeding and enable her to pull herself back from that next step towards the predator vampire.

Either way, it was getting darker. Serana decided to take a walk outside, let drop that maybe she might run into J'zargo and have a nice long talk with him. And then she very affectionately brushed my cheek with hers, and left the wagon after giving Sofia a meaningful gaze. Sofia, still a bundle of nerves ready to leap at the first hint of a raised voice simply looked at me. Without saying anything, I simply hung up my clothes and crawled up into bed. And then I waited. It was very quiet for about five minutes. Then I heard her get ready for bed with a certain agonizing slowness, the sort that suggested she did not know what she would find up here. Then there was the sound of nervous breathing and a gingerly pressure on the ladder. One step, another step, a hesitation before the curtain was opened back, and then a tentative crawling into bed on her side.

I then leaned over and took her into my arms as I whispered, "I said I had forgiven you. And because I have forgiven you, I still love you. And I will always love you because I promised to when we got married."

Then Sofia did something she had never done in our entire relationship. She just sort of melted into my arms. And she didn't stop 'melting' until after I had made love to her and we had fallen asleep.

Guilt is good.

But by the time we had found Septimus, she was back to her normal self, complaining about the cold, the snow, and the work required to decipher the lunacy of that very eccentric imperial mage who gave us a pair of Dweemer artifacts and sent us off to find Alftand, a Dweemer ruin which was somewhere along the northern slopes of the mountain range that stretched from Winterhold to Dawnstar. It was in the deepest of the winter grip lands of Skyrim and what hints we were able to glean from the Mages in the college after we got back suggested it was going to be a very long foray.

"Dweemer ruins," sighed Serana. "That means no blood doesn't it?"

I nodded my head.

And so it was more blood potions to be made, and materials were hard to come by in Winterhold. The wagon was packed, and we were off on the 16th. Luck was with us and the entrance was both reachable and a few hours from Winterhold. But once we began our descent, things began to suggest that this would be no simple dive and fetch. It was the evening of the 17th that we found Blackreach.

How do you describe Blackreach? It was a fairyland of the darkest most eery sort imaginable. There was of course no light save that of the glowing fungus's which illumined things faintly with a blue cast. It had at one time been an entire Dweemer settlement with halls and homes and farms. And of course the ever present thrumming of machinery still in operation. One look told us we were looking at a vast expanse which went on for miles. And somewhere in here was a single building with a single means to find the Dragon Elder Scroll. And likewise movement we spotted in the distance told us that the Falmer, those twisted remnants of the Snow Elves were present as well as their pets. We returned to the surface, got into the wagon, and began to cook supper.

"Here's what we're up against," I mused as we sat and began to eat, or in the case of Serana, drink. "We are at the threshold of one of the largest Dweemer ruins in Skyrim I'm thinking. And we could be down there for days. There is simply no feed for the horses, they're going to have to go back to the Winterhold Stables."

"So we ride the wagon back?" queried Serana. "I can do that tonight while you two sleep and we can walk back tomorrow."

"And with luck spot a lone brigand?" I queried.

Serana's look told me I had struck pay dirt.

"Damn it Val, I've not had a good feeding in days! See this scar on my head? If I don't get good blood soon it may never heal right. I'll be scarred!"

"Right Serana," I replied. "And some days we don't get to eat either. And you know better than anyone else the scars we carry. I still think Sofi's pretty in spite of them."

She opened her mouth to protest and then leaned back and sighed.

"Serana," I continued. "Sofia and I love you dearly now. But girl? You have to keep the blood lust in check or you'll eat us some night."

"Val, I would never dream of . . ."

"You wouldn't?" I replied back looking her in the eyes.

She turned her head away and hung it for a second.

"Why don't you hate me?" she sighed.

"'cause you're our friend," suggested Sofia. "And I don't think Valentine can hate anyone." She turned to me and gazed at me softly.

I sighed. "Love comes in many forms Serana," I said. "But it's chief component is overlooking the faults and failings of the other. Not ignoring them of course." I paused. "It's like this. We know you're a vampire. We know that the blood lust is there and driving you persistently. Not necessarily strongly, but it won't go away. Not for Sofi, not for me. But we choose to overlook that. We choose to care about you anyway. If necessary, we'll wear metal collars and swallow the keys, but we won't reject you."

"Thanks," sighed Serana, almost smiling over the metal collar illustration in spite of the situation.

"But," I continued. "We'll need the wagon to store the loot we bring up. That's a big place down there, we might have some serious loot in it and we won't be able to carry it all on our backs. We'll need the storage of the wagon. Even so, the horses will have to go. And Serana? If you want to enjoy the night and ride one of them back while tethering the other? I won't stop you."

She seemed to think on it for a moment.

"I could be back before the dawn," she mused, and we'll be going down as soon as you wake up. There will be little sun then. Okay, that will work. And I like the starry sky. It will be nice."

We finished supper after some small talk and then I and Serana stepped out to get the horses ready. And almost as if it were planned, a black hand assassin leaped down from a rock near by and honed in on me with daggers flashing. My ward was up and rapidly draining but he was focused entirely on carving through it as I backed up to give someone special a little maneuvering room.

"You're ward is failing," laughed the assassin. "And Astrid thought this would be hard!"

"You've made a sweet little vampire girl very happy," I replied.

"Of course," he sniggered. Apparently he was thinking I was saying something else. What I had no clue. But that was all he said on the subject because a second later, his perspective had radically changed.

For with a big pointed toothy grin, Serana had dived in from behind. Or should I say, tucked in?

"Give Sithis our regards," I finished as I returned to saddling up one of the horses.

The limp body of the Assassin rolled down the side of the mountain a moment or two later and then Serana swung up into the saddle and smiled at me.

"Sleep in," she said. "Make love if you like. I'm going to enjoy the walk back." And with that she galloped off.

I got back into the wagon after going to yet another secret panel on the outside of it to get me a bottle of Spiced Wine. I climbed back into the wagon and showed it to Sofia.

"What's the occasion?" she asked me.

"Serana's going to take her time coming back. She suggested I get you drunk and have my way with you," I said as I poured the contents into Sofi's cup, which was the largest goblet in the wagon.

"Oh she did, did she?" retorted Sofia, taking the goblet and helping herself to a generous gulp. "So you think you can get me drunk and then I'll be pliable to seduction do you?"

"Yes," I said pulling her into an embrace.

"Well if that's the case then," she replied giving me one of her 'knock his larynx out kisses.'

Serana arrived back an hour after dawn and actually wistfully looked at the horizon briefly before we once more descended into Blackreach. And so for the next few days we methodically explored that entire realm looking for the item which would enable us to gain the Elder Scroll. This was a realm so large that there were roads in it. We lost count of the hours and days since there was no apparent transition. Several times we discovered other lifts in Blackreach and when we employed them, we would find ourselves in some other part of the mountains. But when we finally found ourselves in the tower of Mzark and solved the puzzle regarding the Dweemer machine which they had designed to read the Dragon Elder Scroll, we took that lift up and found ourselves so far south as to be out of the winterlands and looking at the late fall of what I suspected was just north of Whiterun. But we did not then promptly leave Blackreach. There was loot of all sorts down there and it promised to be the first time we might end up with sufficient Septims to be financially secure enough to start investing and earning a separate income. I had done that earlier with Lydia, but that had been to buy Proudspire. Now I was looking for security since Sofia was rapidly approaching her third month - she was looking decidedly thicker around the waist - and that was reminding me my first child was on it's way.

"Do you think my boobs are getting bigger?" she asked me first thing one morning in the wagon. She had tossed her nightshirt and was laying on her back in 'the bunk' the term we now had for our bed. It took me a second to answer honestly simply because she looked so damned desirable.

"By the nine I hope so," I confess I said. They were of course. When a girl gets pregnant, her breasts enlarge and can often stay just a little bigger even after birth and nursing are done with.

"Um, just to let you know I'm awake and down here," came Serana's voice.

"Valentine? Did I ever tell you how silly you look when you blush?" was Sofia's next question.

The treasure we found in Blackreach was more than impressive. There were almost three dozen separate pieces of enchanted weaponry or armor and dozens of rings, circlets, and necklaces and other pieces of jewelry, not to mention loose gold and gemstones. Then once we had finished looting, we had to haul that all up to the wagon and then I set out to fetch the horses while Serana and Sofia stayed back at the wagon. Luck was with me and I got back later in the afternoon and that evening we rode back into Winterhold and had a nice full meal at the inn, or at least Sofia and I did. Serana seemed a little depressed and I pretty much figured I knew why. We were able to eat heartily and she was not. I had been able to sell a bit of our loot at Birna's Oddments and so there was no need to sing for our supper. Sofia got nice and drunk and so she and I retired to the wagon early. But having received no hints from Serana that she was going to be gone for most of the night we behaved ourselves. Sure enough Serana came in a half an hour later and I could hear her sitting down with a certain leaded weight.

"Damn damn damn," she sighed.

"What's the matter?" I queried, sticking my head out from behind the curtain which covered the bunk.

"I hate having to suppress the urges," she sighed. "I want to feed so bad."

"Welcome to the human race," I said. "Suppressing your desires is what makes you a good human."

She looked at me and it dawned on her what I had just said. She smiled and said, "Thank you, Val." and walked into the closet and got into her coffin.

The next morning we got up and headed off to the Ice Fields.

"After this? What's next?" asked Sofia.

"We ride to Solitude, sell more loot, and then off to Serana's home sweet castle."

"I can't wait to see the courtyard," sighed Serana.

Septimus was there and grumbling because he still had not figured out how to open the huge dweemer box he had been studying the entire time. Even with the information we had acquired from Blackreach. His solution? I was to collect a sample of blood from each of the various Mer races. I politely refused. As far as I was concerned, we had done our job, and now had to track down Serana's mother. We turned and walked out of there only to be confronted by a Daedric Prince.

This was Hermaeus Mora who informed me that yes I would be providing the blood for Septimus and after which he would have 'outlived his usefulness' and I would be the new boy. Now if you happen to think like I do, the first thing that pops into your head is when a Daedric Prince offers to kill their favorite and make you their new favorite, you will at some point be killed for yet another favorite. I politely thanked Hermaeus for the offer but said no. Being a Daedric Prince, he wasn't used to being said no to, and informed me that I would, in the end, serve him. For the means of collecting the blood was already with me, specifically, Serana. Serana had a 'who me? What are you talking out?' expression with a bit more wide eye than average. But as Hermaeus was a busy daedric prince, he didn't stay around long enough for us to feel an acute discomfort over the fact that he had been blocking the only exit out of that ice and rock pit.

"The thing I don't like about those sorts of Daedric Princes is that you can't tell them to go to Oblivion, they're already there, and they might just decided to take you with them when they go back," sighed Sofia. "Of course if it were Sanquine I don't think I would actually mind . . ."

"Don't make me spank you," I suggested.

"I'll just kick you back," she retorted.

"That's about right," mused Serana. "You two have not had a fight in the past day, so you're due."

Sofia and I both looked at Serana who pretended to be very interested in her fingernails.

But that's the sort of thing that happens on adventures.


	20. Chapter 20 - A Song For Family Ties

"Valentine I simply don't see the point of the Gods," persisted Sofia. We were in the middle of a bit of a spat as the wagon was riding up the road towards the gate of Solitude. It was the evening of the 25th, Turdas if I recall correctly. "I prayed for free money, free booze . . . more free booze . . . And all I got was a hangover and a big hole in my pocket where my money used to be."

"Do you really want my opinion on what I think about that?" I shot back.

"No but you're going to tell me anyway," she retorted. "It's what you do." She leaned back against the seat of the wagon and folded her arms and frowned at me.

"You prayed for free money," I began with a cheesy little grin. "And in our wagon right now are several dozen pieces of jewelry we just picked up off the floor of Blackreach worth thousands of septims. Money don't get freer than that. And furthermore, you married a man who's always giving you drinks, and has been giving you drinks since he met you. And he did so originally so you would not leave him. And now he does it because you get all snuggly and easy to make love to when you're at least tipsy. So it looks like you got free booze as well."

"Yeah but we had to go and get it," she persisted. "It didn't just fall into my pocket."

"When has ANYthing just popped into your pocket?" I replied.

"Your fingers on a regular basis," she shot back.

"And you don't like that?" I queried.

"Damn it Valentine, just because I enjoy it most of the time doesn't mean I enjoy it all of the time!"

The guards opened the gate for us and we continued riding our wagon down the streets of Solitude.

"Better wake Serana," I suggested. "We're almost at the house."

"No, you wake her," snorted Sofia.

"I'm already awake," came the muffled voice of Serana from inside the wagon. "So there's no need to fight over that."

"Serana," I cried back. "You're taking all the fun out of it."

"Sorry," she replied. "But I'm just not in the mood and besides, I'm not that kind of girl."

"Fun . . ." muttered Sofia somewhat to herself. "I'll show them fun." She commenced to mutter under her breath since she couldn't stomp on the cobblestones like she used to when we had to walk places.

"Well be that way," I shouted back to Serana in the wagon. "You stuck up hoity toity . . ." Now yes, I was grinning when I did this. I actually was having a bit of fun.

"Sorry Val," came Serana's retort. "Won't work. Besides, I like being hoity toity."

"Do you even know what that means?" I suggested back.

"No," she replied. "I'm not up on the latest slang this millennia. But if you think it's an insult, then I'll be it just to annoy you."

"Ah ha!" I crowed back. "Gotcha trying to be annoying. Looks like you're in the fight after all!"

"Curse you!" came Serana's voice back, somewhat laughing.

I brought the wagon to a halt by the street door to Proudspire and got out. Then I walked around and offered to help Sofia out. She liked it when people 'served' her so naturally she let me and when I settled her on the ground I whispered, "I love you." into her ear.

"Damn it Valentine," she snorted. "Don't make me feel guilty."

"What could you possibly be feeling guilty about?" I queried.

"Being angry at you."

"That's no crime. I'm your husband. You're supposed to be angry at me on a regular basis."

"Oh?" she replied. She was still a bit ticked off, but her curiosity had been triggered.

"In fact, this has been preserved in an ancient metaphysical question which deep thinkers have debated since the dawn of time."

"Oh?"

"If a husband makes a statement in the middle of the woods, where his wife isn't there to hear him. . . Is he still wrong?"

"Well of course he's wrong," she replied. And then she smiled softly, gave me a kiss, and opened the door and walked in shouting "Jordis? I'm home! Where's the mead?"

"I guess we get to do the unpacking?" queried Serana stepping out of the back.

"Yeah pretty much," I replied. "Won't be able to take the wagon to Castle Volkihar."

She looked at it wistfully.

"Were you close with your mother?" I asked.

"We were like the best of friends," she replied. "There was nothing I couldn't share with her. We would talk for hours under the moonlight in the courtyard. Just her and me. Then one day it was like I was in a different family. I would go to the courtyard and she would shoo me away saying she was much too busy. She had to be up to something there."

"Did you become close before or after the ceremony?"

"Before . . . And after the ceremony . . . Well, we both went through it," she sighed. "It was something of a bond between us, to have both had to go through that . . ." She looked away. "But things smoothed out and it seemed like we'd be a family in the end . . . Then father started to go crazy . . . And mom . . . On the whole . . . It's been a bad thing."

I thought for a moment. I felt the need to pick the words carefully "So if it was such a bad thing," I mused. "Why have you stayed a vampire?"

"Val!" she turned to me and gave me a rather intense look. "Look at me? I'm seventeen forever. I am forever young, forever beautiful. Someday I'll have a nice guy I can get close to, we'll be forever together . . . Why wouldn't I want to keep that, especially after all the . . . horror I had to go through to get this?"

"Hey," I said, somewhat putting on the fiction, "It's okay. I understand. Being young forever, who wouldn't want that? So . . . Is there a nice vampire guy you've met then?"

Her face became somewhat confused and sad. "Well . . . No . . . There's you . . . You're nice. But I can't make you a Vampire, it would break Sofi's heart, and then she'd kill me . . . It's just . . . Val? I just realized something . . . You're the first guy I actually liked. None of the vampires in my father's court . . . Or I've ever met, I was remotely attracted to."

"Serana? Are you suggesting . . ."

"Don't be silly Val," she replied back. I was looking at her body language as best I could. She was entirely honest in her posture. "I like you. That's the point. But like is nothing like love . . . I think. So it couldn't be that at all." she paused. "Though if he were single and reminded me of you, then I guess I just might be," she smiled.

"Will you get up here already!" shouted Sofia through an open window above. "I'm tired of waiting?"

Waiting? Waiting for what? I had no clue. Serana and I walked into the basement entrance and headed up the stairs and as we reached the foyer I first heard a loud "SURPRISE!" and then paused and let my mouth hang open for a second, both in shock, and joy.

My father, my mother, my brother, and two sisters were in the foyer.

"About time," snorted Sofia.

"Welcome home my thane," suggested Jordis. "As you can see, your family arrived late last night.

"My son," began my father, Maximus. He walked up and gave me a big hug. "You have prospered I see."

"Darling," said my mother, Felicia. "Your father has been so kind to let me out of jail for this trip." She gave me a very proper Imperial kiss, that is, the brushing of cheeks.

"Hey bro!" shouted Aurelian walking up and giving me the bear punch. I punched him back and we clapped each other's shoulders.

"Vali!" shouted Psyche while skipping up and giving me a hug. Then Irene gave me a kiss on the cheek and giggled.

"I take it you've met my wife, Sofia," I began.

"Yes," giggled Psyche. "And you know what she did? We were whispering so you wouldn't know we were up here but Irene looked at her and told her she was pretty and you know what she said?"

"Of course," I replied.

"You guessed it!" whined Irene.

I did, but not intentionally. I knew of course Sofia would admit in some fashion that yes, she was beautiful, but I had no idea I would have guessed it that accurately. I was saying 'of course' meaning that I knew what sort of answer she was going to respond to.

"Jordis? Mead time, lots of Mead time," suggested Sofia. She waved her arm in an imperious fashion. Jordis looked at me as if to say, "Do I have to put up with this my thane?" and I nodded gently as if to say. "This time we'll over look it."

"And Jordis says you are Thane of Solitude, in the court of Jarl Elisif!" gushed my mother. "Oh I'm so proud of you. I thought you would remain a looser all your life. I guess I finally put the ambition into you?"

What can you say to that? I swear I was mostly the victim of circumstances. But from her perspective, I had nobility of my own now and she seemed happy about that. Maybe that meant she would not be trying to summon the Dark Brotherhood . . . And that gave me an idea.

"Yes," I replied. "I've even learned how to fight." I patted the dagger on my side. "Dark Brotherhood assassins coming for you routinely do that you know."

She paled and lifted her hands to her mouth. Guilt is good.

"How many now?" queried Sofia, looking for an excuse to brag about her Valentine.

"Three," I replied thinking. "Of course the last one I had help with."

Serana licked her lips while my mother's face paled a bit more, my father nodded with stern features, but Aurelian's gaze fell upon Serana. His eyes widened and his mouth opened a bit and I swear I could almost hear his heart going THUMPa THUMPa.

"And who . . ." he began half whispered. "Is this?"

"Aurelian?" I began gesturing to Serana. "This is Serana Volkihar, my companion and Sofia's best friend. She is also with us on a mission for the Jarls and Empire trying to stop a series of threats to all of Tamriel."

"It is quite the pleasure," he continued. He took her hand and raised it to his lips and kissed it. "Oh!" He continued, his suave Imperial manner coming to the fore. "You're hand is cold Serana, allow me to warm it briefly." And he grasped her hand with both of his.

Serana's eyes widened for a moment and then she begin to grin, keeping her lips firmly tight. And then she got just a little girly and giggled.

I looked at my father who looked at me as if to say, "That's my boy."

Now granted, Aurelian was being Aurelian. He had always been the charmer in the family and while I loved paling around with him in the Imperial City, he had always bagged the girls because first, he was just a few years older than me and a bit more urban. And second, he had that suave charm which I never was able to master. But while he was using it on Serana with great success, I sensed this wasn't just another little game with him. His eyes were utterly mesmerized by her features. Of course Serana had that vampiric quality which he had never encountered before.

Had this been an opera, at this point the hero would have sung out something along the lines of . . .

_"Serana,_  
_I've just met a girl named Serana,_  
_And oh what joyous sound,_  
_This name it does propound,_  
_This beauty I have found,_  
_Serana!"_

Of course, my life wasn't an opera, more of a tavern, and the song that a tavern suggested started something like this . . .

_I just met a girl named Serana,_  
_And she stiffened my big ol' banana._

But there was no music, just Jordis with a tray filled with glasses of mead, passing them around, being the professional aide de camp.

"So how long are you going to be here?" I queried of my father.

"Well it wouldn't be proper visiting for just a day," he said. "Especially since it was a three day trip to get here. But the most I can be away from the council and Titus is two weeks, so we'll be staying until the 30th. Then we'll head back with a couple of days padding just in case something bad happens."

"So I get to keep you here for five days," I mused. "That will be nice."

"And we've heard that Solitude is very romantic in the winter," gushed Irene. "All that snow gently falling, cuddled up to your lover by the fire." She looked over at Aurilian who was still chatting with Serana, and still holding her hand. And Serana was chatting back, but I could tell she was hiding her fangs. Irene looked back at me and gave me one of her little 'tee he' fingers over her mouth gestures as if to say, "Big brother is in love."

I had to agree. He was totally smitten. I had never seen him look at any woman like he was looking at Serana. Funny we had just talked about this, Serana and I. One of those curious coincidences.

Sofia was opening up with Psyche and mom regaling them with tales of what we had done together, and being she was Sofia, mom and Psyche would giggle, gasp, and then blush furiously. Then I had an idea. I signaled Jordis, and gave her a set of instructions. She nodded and dashed off. Then once I was certain Jordis had been given sufficient time, and everyone had finished their glasses of mead, I got everyone bundled up and we all went off to the Winking Skeever. By the time we were settled around the table there, Lisette had been gotten up to speed and she began to play dance tunes. So with finger foods around our table, bottles of mead, wine, and ale, the dancing began. And then two young handsome fellows from the Bard's college showed up, per Jordis' instructions, and were introduced to Psyche and Irene. And for the next few hours we danced and ate and laughed. The two young bards were more than pleased with the chance to dance with Psyche and Irene but Psyche being Psyche immediately decided she preferred the one who was dancing with Irene and Irene, who actually didn't care, became very possessive because Psyche was 'horning in'. As I was dancing with Sofia, she noticed that my father and mother were dancing and she began to notice that the two of them were smiling as they looked at each other.

"I thought your father hated your mother," she sighed. "He locked her in the attic, right?"

"Yes," I replied. "He did."

"So why are they smiling?"

"Because mother knows father loves her. You have to remember Sofi, dad locked mom up because she had tried to have the Dark Brotherhood summoned."

"How does that prove he loves her?"

"Because he didn't put her in the Imperial Prison. She got to stay home with a nice bed and decent food. She knew he was giving her a break. And he came up each night to sleep with her."

"And she let him?"

"I suspect there were more than a few nights when he was on the floor because she refused to let him in the bed," I replied. "But in the end, she got . . . well I guess 'used to it' would be the best way to describe it."

"So you think they are all lovey dovey now?"

"I suspect," I said, looking over at them. ". . . that they are wearing their party faces. But given what mom said to me earlier tonight, he might take that as a signal that it would be safe to let her out."

We continued to dance for a bit while Sofia kept stealing glances at them.

"If I tried to kill someone in your family, would you throw me in the dungeons or lock me up?"

"I'd do what dad did," I replied.

"And would you still love me?"

"I'd do what dad did," I replied.

Sofia was pensive for a moment as we glided over the floor. "I think I like your father," she concluded. Then she looked at me. "But I think . . . I love you."

I smiled and told her that I loved her back even though I really wanted to squeeze the stuffing out of her. I so seldom heard her say those three words, each time I heard them I got all . . . Well gushy would be the best description of it. Yeah, I'm an old man now and horribly sentimental. And then she looked over to Serana and Aurelian. They were slipping outside, Serana was clearly leading him.

"Val? What about Serana?"

I looked at them for a moment, or rather, the door coming to a close behind them for they were already outside. "If she kills Aurelian, she's dead," I replied with a frown. "So I'm glad she won't be doing that."

"You don't suppose . . ." continued Sofia quietly. There was a bit of impish grin to her smile.

"The verdict is unanimous," I replied. "He's got it bad."

"Rather sudden don't you think?"

"He's seriously attracted to her now," I continued. "But he won't commit until he gets to know her better. He's always hot at the start and then cools down as he muses over the personality he's observing."

"I never saw you look at me that way when we were first being with each other," she recollected.

"I did, but you were asleep on the hay pile," I replied with a grin.

"What happened?"

"You denied you knew who I was and insisted you weren't stalking me."

Sofia gave me one of those 'oh' expressions on her face which suggested a total absence of emotion to the casual observer but in reality was a determined effort to not look stupid. "But every so often, you look at me that way now," she concluded. She smiled again. "Oh?" she added, looking past my shoulder.

"I wish to dance with your lovely wife," suggested my dad. "And get to know her a bit better."

I handed Sofia over in proper Imperial fashion, that was, taking her left hand and presenting that to my father who then took it in his right hand. Sofia, who had never been treated with such finesse before replied, "I could get used to this."

Then my mother came over and I proceeded to dance with her. She and I glided a couple of times around and then she started to talk.

"I understand General Tullius is here leading the war effort against Ulfric," she observed.

"Yes, he is," I replied in a rather non-committal tone.

"You could join the Imperial Army, rise up through the officer corps quickly and be of great service to Titus," she suggested.

"No," I replied. You don't lie to your mother, even if you know you are about to have a fight. "I can't. I made a vow."

"A vow?" queried my mother. "What sort of vow could an Imperial make which would prevent him from serving the Emperor?"

"Well, if soldiers of the Empire happen to take you prisoner along with a group of Stormcloaks you happened to bump into on your way to Solitude. And if there's an Imperial Captain who refuses to recognize that you are not one of the Stormcloaks. And if you are so ticked off that you are about to have your head chopped off you make an oath that you will live and breath a Stormcloak until your head flies off your body . . ."

"What?" she snapped. "Valentine, what by the nine did you do that for?"

"I was about to be executed, Mother," I retorted. "Didn't you hear me just say 'head chopped off'?"

"I'm sure it was a misunderstanding and you were not about to be executed," she retorted.

"My head was on the block, mother. If that dragon hadn't flown in," I suggested.

"That's no excuse!" She shot back. "Being attacked by dragons. Absurd. I've seen no dragons in the Imperial City."

"Would you believe General Tullius if he confirmed my story? He was there."

"Of course he would confirm your story, just to be polite. He wouldn't dare call a Florian a liar."

I sighed.

"Oath to live and breath a Stormcloak," she continued to snort. "A traitor to the Empire." More snorts of disgust. "You wouldn't be so low as to do that. Not after all the sacrifices we made to save what was left of the Empire after it's rape by the Thalmor."

"Yes mother," I replied, just to end the conversation.

"I expect you to join the Imperial Army at the first opportunity," she continued.

"Yes mother." I turned so that mother's back was to my father and tried to catch his eye, but apparently Sofia was regaling him with some tale or other and he was utterly mesmerized.

"And I'll be sure to tell General Tullius that you will be coming," continued my mother.

"Yes mother, I mean NO!"

I shouted that so loudly that everyone stopped.

"What?" started Sofia looking at me almost like my mother was looking at me.

"Son?" queried my father.

"Your son refuses to join the Imperial Army," snapped my mother.

"What's this about?" my father knew my mother wouldn't lie to him and so he was, somewhat justifiably concerned.

I was thinking fast, trying to come up with a way to tell the truth, nothing but the truth, but yet not the whole truth.

"Like we would have time to fight the Stormcloaks?" groaned Sofia.

"She's right," I began. I swear that girl had, for once by being impatient and snappy, had literally given me the out.

"Not to mention that oath," she continued.

Now to shut her up before she really messed it up. Don't get me wrong, I was willing to share the fact that my oath made me a Stormcloak with my family, but this was in a public place and everyone was looking at us. I did not want my oath to be public knowledge just three blocks from General Tullius's headquarters.

"I have sworn I will not cease to fight until I have found the means to defeat Alduin," I said rather loudly. "That is taking up all my time."

"Alduin?" retorted my mother. "Who is Alduin?"

It was at this point that Lisette, stopped her playing to step in. She being a Bard, and quite accomplished at singing my praises when I wasn't around to express annoyance at it, was more than happy to relate the matter to my mother. I might have been grateful for the assistance, but Lisette, not knowing the full situation, merely made matters way worse, though I did not see it coming.

"Your son is what is known in Skyrim as the Dragonborn," she explained.

"Dragonborn?" my mother replied. She was curious, but already the wheels in her head were turning.

"Every age, starting with Tiber Septim," continued Lisette, weaving the tale with the master's touch, "The God Akatosh grants to a single person the blood of the Dragons within their veins. This gives the Dragonborn the ability to shout, that is, project his voice into a Thu'um which is an ancient magic capable of bringing down the dragons themselves. And now that the Dragons have returned to Skryim, your son has been chosen for this task. To face the world eater Alduin, first son of Akatosh, and shout him from the skies forever."

It was quite the endorsement. And Lisette was beaming at me as she said it. Hero worship can be enjoyable at times . . . provided it's timed properly . . . which it wasn't.

"Tiber Septim, the great line of Emperors . . ." mused my mother. "Valentine! You could be Emperor!"

Oh by the Nine, please let this be just a terrifying nightmare . . .

"Yeah," mused Sofia. "You COULD!"

It was in a very public place and people were putting down their drinks and silverware and watching so I couldn't give Sofia the swat on her behind that she so desperately needed.

"Think of all the booze that would come in from the nobility of Tamriel in gratitude!" she continued.

I frantically scanned the room for Serana. Where's a spontaneously improvisational sneaky devious deceitful vampire when you desperately need one?

"Simply out of the question," snorted my father, coming to the rescue. "First of all, Titus Meede is Emperor and even if Valentine is this Dragonborn, his endorsement would require the consent of the whole council after Titus has died."

"Well of course dear," replied my mother with that 'my mind's made up, this is what we're going to do, so let's work it out' tone in her voice. "Who better to start the process of selecting the replacement when our beloved Emperor passes into Aetherius than you?"

"Dear?" was my father's warning shot.

"Isn't this exciting?" queried Sofia into my ear.

"No," I replied back.

She knew my expression and promptly gave me an annoyed look back.

"Darling," persisted my mother.

"Not right now," retorted my father. "We are here to celebrate being a family, not engage in political intrigue, especially in a very public place."

"Well of course," was my mother's smooth recovery. Her tone and expression conveyed a 'don't belabor the obvious' quality to her response. "But we will talk about this later."

Lisette was watching the entire exchange, as were the two other young bards in the room next to Irene and Psyche. But Psyche, taking advantage of the sudden shift in attention had sidled up to Irene's evening partner and before Irene noticed, had gotten him to slip out of the Skeever with her as well. Irene noticed this a few moments later and sighed one of those 'she's gotten me again' breaths but then she noted that the other young bard was a rather innovative fellow as well and was more than willing to console her. Shortly thereafter they were dancing happily around the room. As for me I was wondering how quickly word would be bandied about in the halls of the Blue Palace.

Mother, being the consummate player, was promptly engaged in small talk and remained so for the rest of the evening. Once she and Sofia were safely ensconced, no doubt planning on what I would wear at my coronation and what sort of drinks would be served, father took me to the side and we too took a long walk under the stars.

"I'm sorry about Felicia," he said with one of those releases of breaths which come when one is discouraged. "I had hoped she would be happy with the fact that you were a thane in the High Queen's court. But your mother is never really satisfied."

"It's okay dad," I answered. "It comes as no surprise now that I think of it. Once I got on the ladder she would be nagging for the next rung invariably. It was why I originally planned to be a Bard. I wouldn't be here if I had not taken the road to Skyrim from Bruma to join the Bard's College here."

"Tell me what happened," he asked. "I've read the bits and pieces from your letters, but I don't think I know the whole story. Sometimes, I think you were being a bit evasive as to what you were doing, especially your early letters about Sofia."

And so for the next half an hour we wandered the streets of Solitude and I regaled him with the whole tale. I told him everything except one thing. I did not tell him Serana was a vampire. All the while he listened and contemplated. We finished on the balcony overlooking the Sea by the house.

"Well you were not kidding when you said you had a full plate," he concluded when I had finished. "You have noticed that Aurelian has been gone with Serana this entire time?"

"Yeah, Psyche and Irene are both of the opinion that he's got it bad."

"And her father is a vampire trying to blot out the sun, and Alduin is a great black demonic dragon seeking to reassert draconic dominance over all of Tamriel."

I nodded.

"And even if you accomplish all these things, that will only fuel your mother's ambitions for you," he sighed. "She is simply not going to understand that oath you made. It was rather short sighted of you. But . . ." and here he chuckled. "Given that the Empire was about to chop your head off, I can understand your reasoning."

"Well when you think you're about to die, you aren't thinking about the next day," I mused.

"There's that. And well . . . I think you're going about it good. Keeping your word, without actually directly raising your hand against the Empire. Keeping your word is always the best recourse. But it's a fine line you walk."

I leaned on the balcony and looked out at the two moons reflecting off the sea.

"And your Sofia. She has some growing up to do, but if she's carrying your child, that will hopefully set her on the right road. Of course you won't really feel married until you have two children." He chuckled again. "She's a cute one I'll grant you."

"Dad, when I first laid eyes upon her I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen."

"Then it no doubt was meant to be," replied Dad. "If you keep deciding you will love her every day, she never will stop being the most beautiful woman in Skyrim, to you anyway. I've never gotten tired of the way your mother looks."

We just watched the waves beat on the rocks beneath us for a few moments and then set out to round up the rest of the family and get the sleeping situation worked out. Jordis had already proven adept at that. She had managed in my absence to get a carpenter to box up the coffin in the enchanting room so it looked like a trophy case with a below storage. Thus when my family had shown up, they had no clue there was a coffin in the house. Serana would be sleeping in the wagon anyway. Jordis, had managed to acquire two beds in her room for Psyche and Irene. Aurelian would be sleeping in the children's room and Mom and Dad were in our bedroom. Me and Sofia would be sleeping in our bunk wagon with Serana.

"Why do I have to sleep in this bed when your mom and dad could sleep here?" snapped Sofia shortly afterwards, once we were alone.

"Well there's Serana in the coffin beneath them," I observed.

"Oh yeah . . . Monster under the bed and all that," she was quiet for a moment. "Well I'm going to take it out on you anyway!" she concluded.

So I tickled her and she shrieked most satisfactory and that lasted for about six seconds and then I slammed my head on the top of the wagon and just lay on the bed groaning and in pain for a bit while Sofia looked smug and settled down for sleep. Near dawn Serana came in humming to herself and settled into her coffin beneath.

The next four days were a frenzy of activity. I introduced my family formally to Jarl Elisif and then we had a reception for them at the house. There were several lunches and dinners at the Winking Skeever, a recital by the Bard's College and a party at the Blue Palace. There were walks along the shore, and roaring fires in the kitchen at breakfast. Aurelian continued to find Serana mysterious and enchanting and accordingly very desirable. He openly admitted she was a cagey one, for while he had noticed she would occasionally go into the wagon, when he had checked it, she was always conspicuously absent.

"Unless she's hiding in the closet," he mused. But I even looked in there and all I saw was clothing and that lower cupboard with the lid locked down. I didn't even hear breathing. So I figured she slipped out sometime after she slipped in."

"Yeah," I agreed. "She's very clever."

"Quit the night person too," he continued. "She'd be a great hostess in the Imperial City you know?"

"Positively enthralling," I replied.

"You've got one of those mysterious grins again Val," he observed. "What do you know about her that I don't?"

"Don't want to spoil the surprise, bro."

He laughed. "I always thought I would be the first one married. You were so shy and would stammer so when we were in the Imperial City. What happened to you? You picked up quite the cat you know that? I swear that girl's got fight in her. And can she drink. I was playing around with the idea of a drinking contest with her and by golly after six glasses I was seriously feeling it and she was acting as if she was just getting started."

"Sofia's idea of entertainment has always been drinking," I replied. "And so by the time she was old enough to seriously misbehave, she was adept at drinking the boys under."

"Is Serana a heavy drinker?"

"That's a loaded question," I replied.

"Seriously Val, what is it about Serana?"

"Tell me bro, how serious are you with her?"

"Well I just met her, we've only been seeing each other these past two days. She's quite the romantic. She and I will walk all over Solitude for hours in the evening. And she lets me hold her as we sit by the water. She's always a bit chilly you know? And she never quite knows how to bundle up proper. But her eyes, they are like rubies Val . . . I've never seen anything so beautiful."

"So you ready to marry her?"

"Val?" he chuckled. "You know what Dad has always said. Get to know them before you get in too deep. I mean yeah, she's got courage. She told me her father is a vampire lord trying to blot out the sun and how you and her and Sofia and her mother are going to try to stop him. Watch over her Val will you? I would hate it if she ended up a vampire like her dad. I don't want to wake up in a bed next to a monster. That's the point of taking your time you know? Get to know them before you get too emotionally in. You never know when you'll uncover the dirty dark secrets. I mean, what if it turned out we couldn't have kids? What if she's been infected by Peryite? You have to be ready for them. "

"Yeah," I said. "You do."

"Val? You seem rather pensive."

"Got a lot on my plate, bro. And I know Serana is going to take the time at some point and ask me about what you have said about her."

"Well tell her I'm very interested will you? And if she turns out to be as lovely in the long haul as she is now? Yeah, she'd be perfect for me." He smiled.

"Yeah," I said back.

That night we had the party in the Blue Palace. Aurelian had noticed Sybille's red eyes as well and had told Serana that her's were prettier. And she was eating it up. But what I also noticed was that as the evening went on, Serana kept having glasses of mead. I had seen her do this before, when she was playing a part, but tonight she was going one further. She was acting as if she was getting a little tipsy. She kept swaying and resting her head on Aurelian's shoulder. And then she would giggle. Mother of course had been 'feeling up' Jarl Elisif. And I use my metaphor's cautiously. Mother was seeing where Jarl Elisif stood in the Imperial fashion. Since most of the Emperors had originally come from Solitude over the ages, if Jarl Elisif endorsed me, that would be a very powerful political ploy. I was of course, annoyed at this but it was not the time to chat up Elisif over the fact that I had no intention of being Emperor. Besides, mother was being her usual cagy and cautious self and that meant Elisif might not even catch on what Mom was engaged in.

After the party, Sofia and I were in bed, just nestled next to each other. We were both too tired to make love, but we were both still awake and so we were chatting quietly. The wagon was not exactly soundproof and we were still 'parked' out by the side door to Proudspire. So anyone walking by would hear us chatting if we talked too loudly. And likewise we heard more than a few drunken Nord songs pass us by and one of them pounded on the sides of the wagon as he passed.

"Your family is exhausting me," sighed Sofia. "But I kind of like them. Even your mother. But at the same time I'm not used to them being so open with me. It's freaking me out. It's like they think I've been around forever and they can do anything they want in front of me."

"Well you're family now," I replied, half with my eyes shut. "And so that makes you sister and daughter in law. And no one ever distinguishes between the in laws and naturals. So yeah, you're being treated like you were always one of us."

"Aurelian has been asking me about Serana," she continued. "He wants to know her secret."

"And you said?"

"I figured she'd rip my throat out if I told him she was a vampire. That kind of takes the heart out of any budding romance. I'll let her tell him when she's got the nerve."

"He'll drop her the moment he finds out."

"How do you know that? He might love her more than that. I mean, you didn't leave when you found out about the baby and . . . what I did afterwards."

"Because I knew you could come back from that," I replied. "Sereana can't have children by Aurelian. As far as I know anyway. There are rumors that one of the champions of the Arena was the son of a vampire and his mother. But she was living and he was the vampire. Serana is the vampire. Anyway, even if they could, Aurelian would drop her the moment he found out. He already told me."

"Does he suspect?"

"I don't think so. Serana is hiding those fangs with a passion I've not seen in her since Castle Dawnguard."

"She really likes him Valentine." continued Sofia. "She's really happy right now. Apparently she likes him a lot because he's part of your . . . err . . . our family . . . Our family . . . Takes some getting used to. I really feel like I'm in a real family right now. As much as it's driving me crazy. Anyway, she's clearly interested in him and I don't mean his neck. She kept expecting me to know something about him and I had to explain that I had just met him too. You were the one to answer the questions but she was afraid you would tell him since it was clear that the two of you are really close. And in her mind that means you'll share everything."

"That's what she said about her mother. They shared everything."

She's trying to pretend she's human. She drank an awful lot of mead tonight. And she doesn't get drunk. But she was acting as if she was."

I started to chuckle a bit.

"Valentine?"

"You saying she was drinking a 'awful lot' of mead."

"Okay so I was being relative. I mean seriously Val, she drinks maybe a few sips when we were in an inn just to act normal? But she downed at least three bottles tonight. That's a lot for her."

"Indeed it is."

"Valentine? If Aurelian would drop her the moment he found out she was a vampire. Shouldn't you just let her know so she doesn't get hurt too badly?"

"No," I said.

"Don't you care about her? She's our friend."

"Of course I care," I said. "I want her to know he would drop her the moment he finds out. But I want her to know that before he finds out."

"Didn't I just say that?"

"Yes and no, Sofi. You thought that would mean it was over. I am hoping that it means they are beginning. If she has a choice between loving and being loved by a guy who reminds her of all the good that has been happening to her since she was revived, and remaining a vampire, I'm hoping she'll toss the vampire."

"But she wants to remain a vampire so much . . . She's told me how important it is to her. How much she paid for it . . ." argued Sofi.

"But she also wants to belong to a family, Sofi. And she's on the verge of losing hers."

"But didn't you tell me you are hoping to save her family and bring them back together?"

"I did . . ."

"I don't know how you are going to do it, but I've seen you pull rabbits out of fox holes before."

"I'm not sure how I'm going to do it, Sofi," I replied thinking. "So much depends on Harkon. But if that's not meant to be, then . . . Maybe . . . Just maybe we're the family she needs to be adopted by."

"Valentine, do you really think we won't have to kill Harkon and his whole court?"

"I know there will be killing Sofi," I replied wearily. "When you are dealing with the handiwork of the Daedra, there's always killing. But if Harkon ever loved his wife and daughter, then if I can trigger that memory in him, I just might be able to pull him back from the breach."

"You want to cure Serana, but reunite that entire vampire family, and in the middle of this defeat Alduin, and at the same time keep your oath to remain a Stormcloak without betraying the Empire. Valentine? Do you have any idea how much of a headache you are giving me while I'm trying to figure out how you are going to do this?"

"You sure it's not the mead?"

"If I had enough mead, I wouldn't care. I'd be too sleepy to care. But I didn't have enough mead. There was apparently some understanding between Elisif and the bartender and they were always just out when I came up for another glass."

"Poor Sofi."

"Yeah it sucks to be me. At least I have you to complain to about it."

Serana came in near dawn. Or at least I suspected as much. She was, as usual, preternaturally quiet, but given we were sleeping pretty much on the street with only a thin wall of wood between us and the traffic outside, sleep was fitful and occasionally interrupted. So I was somewhat awake when she came in and I heard the coffin lid close. Then I snuggled back up with Sofia and fell back asleep.

But there was other work to be done during that time as well. There was loot to sell, enchantments to decipher, jewelry to enchant, gems to work into rings, and in short the usual cottage industry I employed to transform what I had found into salable items. By the end of the four days, I had managed to gain 2,500 septimes.

"And we have barely scratched the surface of what we found," I mused to Sofia.

"Think we'll make 50,000 sometime soon?" she asked.

"It might happen," I mused. "Depending on how well we sell things when we get back."

"You know what I would like to do if we made 50,000?" she continued.

"Well the last time that number was bandied about you were thinking of throwing a party so big that Whiterun ended up trashed."

"Well let's just say I've learned a few things since then," she said.

"So what do you want to do with it now?"

"Solitude. Throw the party in Solitude."

"Sofi?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't ever change."

"Don't worry Valentine. I see no point in changing."

The four days passed swiftly, as time with family is wont to do. And so on the 30th, we bid farewell to them first thing in the morning. While Aurelian tried to steal a serious kiss from Serana, she was coy enough to make sure he didn't get more than a pressing of lips. Then they rode off and she watched them go with a certain sigh. I was sad to see them go as well, there was that brief happy reminder of what life had been like once upon a time in the Imperial City. Yes, even with mother's persistent scheming. General Tullius had hinted at one point during the party at the Blue Palace, but when I pointed out the need to deal with Alduin and Harkon, he understood completely. And so I was able to avoid any mention of the oath. Mother refused to believe in it, and that helped since so long as it 'didn't exist' she saw no point in referencing it.

We set out for the docks. Jolf was waiting for us. He would sail us to the island and from that point on, we were on our own. It wouldn't be fair to make him wait outside that island, given what was on it and what perils may or may not await us there. I had no idea how long we would be there either. Or if we would even make it back alive. I suspected we would. Things seemed to suggest we were meant to be doing this. But even so there was too much doubt and uncertainty laying before us.

Adventures are like that.


	21. Chapter 21 - A Song for Memories

There was a crashing of an old antique pot as the last of the death hounds was hurled against the old musty table from the force of the fire bolt Sofia had thrown against him.

"Oh I hope that wasn't valuable," she said. Then she paused and looked at me. "Actually . . What do I care?"

We were in the castle. The old dock had proven a safe access after we had managed to kill of the five rather powerful skeletons which had been guarding it. Once we were inside, the decor suggested that this part of the castle had been so seldom used after the Volkihars had moved in that the original furnishings had been pretty much left untouched. Had someone cleaned this place up, it would have been a snapshot of life once upon a time. Now it was just another dusty ruin.

"I bet my parents didn't know half this part of the castle," Serana mused.

"You know this area?"

"Yeah. This was my old stomping grounds. Not the most normal childhood."

"Did you spend a lot of time down here?" I asked.

"I liked to explore. My parents would almost never let me off the island so yeah, I poked around down here a lot. It was a lot quieter back then. I guess a little vampire girl was enough to scare off the rats."

"That sounds pretty lonely," I said.

"You sound like you were a weird little girl," suggested Sofia.

"It was lonely," agreed Serana. "But I got used to it. And I think I turned out okay. And your brother thinks I'm enchanting."

She smiled at me and the turned and started to cautiously move ahead. Sofia took the time to look at me and silently mouthed "Okay? Vampire? Okay?" while rolling her eyes.

"You've been mysterious," I observed as we cautiously made our way forward. I paused to cast a detect life spell and then stopped it in a second. "Not much help in a castle filled with vampires," I mused.

"I like being mysterious," Serana replied. "I . . . I think I've found him Val. I think I've found the guy I want to be with."

"You sure it isn't too early?" I didn't want this conversation right now. Too much was at stake.

"You might be right, but Val . . . He's just what I'm looking for. He likes me just as I am."

"It would be a fun marriage," I suggested. "And it would be fun with you as my sister."

She got quiet. And I didn't press it. I had very tactfully reminded her that she was going to have to step into a temple to join with Aurelian.

Over the next few moments we skirted around corners and through rooms and dealt with skeletons of a rather powerful and dangerous sort. But eventually we reached a door and opened it up and stepped into the central courtyard of the castle. On all sides the two towers reached up and left us feeling very small and alone in a central open spot of ground. Above us, seemingly beyond hope, the stars twinkled. Serana smiled and put back her hood. But then as she continued to scan the courtyard, a certain sadness began to creep over her. She just started talking, bits and pieces really, about her memories. This had clearly been a special place for her.

"Oh no," she began. "What happened to this place? Everything's been torn down. The whole place looks . . . well dead. It's like we're the first to set foot here in centuries."

It was night and the towers were so high around us that you had to look almost up to see the stars. But from a Vampire's perspective, it would have meant that the sun would not have often shone straight down upon the place. There were two porches which were set about three feet above the ground of the courtyard and they had the remnants of furnishings still upon them. The central ground was ordinary lawn, but there was a very large moon dial in the center of the courtyard, an object which struck me as entirely impractical since the moon likewise would seldom shine down upon the ground. Likewise as I scanned the moon dial, the phases were off, those that were still present that is. A moon passes from new, to waxing crescent, waxing quarter, waxing gibbous, to full, then to waining gibbous, waining quarter, and finally waining crescent. This one . . . Well I'll be frank I had no clue what the phases were supposed to suggest.

"This used to lead into the castle's great hall," sighed Serana, looking at a collection of rubble which clearly seemed to block the passage to what had once been a major hallway into the front tower. "Looks like my father had it sealed up. I used to walk through here after evening meals. It was beautiful once."

I couldn't help myself, I looked at Sofia and she looked back at me. We both knew what Serana meant by evening meal.

Then she turned towards a second of the courtyard which had been fenced off and was still filled with a riot of Nightshade. It was the only plant which seemed to be still growing. There might have been other plants once upon a time, but this was all that was left. Frankly I wasn't surprised. While I was not the most skillful of alchemists, I could make a potion better than many since I had needed to learn how to make magicka potions and I had made hundreds of them by this point. In a serious magical fight, it was standard for me to consume at least five if not seven potions just to maintain a steady stream of fire. Needless to say, the only plants that could have thrived in this garden would have been those that were able to grow in almost complete shade.

"This was my mother's garden. It's . . . Do you know how beautiful something can be if it's tended by a master for hundreds of years? My mother would hate to see it like this," she mused. And then her eyes fell upon the moon dial. "Something's wrong with the moon dial here. Some of the crests are missing and the dial is askew. I didn't even know the crests could be removed. Maybe my mother is trying to tell us something."

"What she seems to be saying to me is that she was clueless as to the natural rhythms of the moon," I replied.

"What?"

"The Moon goes from full to new and then waxes back up here, see?" I replied pointing to the one bit of dial that remained intact. "That's not how the moon naturally progresses."

"Val, my mother knew the phases of the moon, that's the point!" she argued.

"You mean she's deliberately messed it up, that she was the one who played with things and moved them about and then tossed some aside?"

"Yes, that has to be it. If we can find the other pieces and reconstruct the puzzle . . ."

"Oh great," sighed Sofia. "Why can't we just have a lock that needs to be picked? That's so easy."

"Yes, Sofi," sighed Serana with a mild smile. "You would know all about that."

"And what do you suggest by that?" queried Sofia with her fists suggesting she would not be above giving Serana a swift kick in the backside. Yes, she balls her fists before she kicks someone.

"That you are a consummate locksmith," replied Serana in a tone which was entirely polite and had not even the faintest whiff of a hint of sarcasm.

Sofia looked at Serana, and then looked at me, while I smiled sweetly at her, and then looked at Serana again.

"I'm not sure if you two aren't rubbing off on each other or if you both had a distant ancestor . . ." she sighed.

"She's really better," I confessed. "You know when I'm being sarcastic."

"You know? You're right," observed Sofia. And she took a few steps and with a single swivel of her hips she kicked me in the backside hard enough that I staggered forward a bit.

"What was that for?" I shouted, not entirely without annoyance.

"Just in case," replied Sofia. "I feel better now anyway."

I sighed and stole a glance at Serana who looked back at me with an expression of purest childlike simplicity and innocence.

"How do you do that?" I shouted at her. "You're a vampire! How can you look like that?"

"Look like what, Val?" she replied quietly and innocently, almost like I had said something mean to her.

I sighed and shook my head. "If your mother turns out to be anything like you Seri, I'm going to go insane."

"You promise?"

Sofia took a few seconds to recover from her nearly rolling on the ground laughter.

I never could understand why Orc chieftains would take multiple wives. No man who wishes to retain at least a modicum of sanity allows himself to be exclusively surrounded by women, even young and beautiful ones. They all gang up on the single guy in a distinctly feminine way which is very hard to counter since you don't know where the next poke is going to come from. Suffice to say, one of the lessons of adventuring with Serana and Sofia was the one where you learn to develop a thick skin. "How could they treat you like that," you ask. "You're the Dragonborn!" True, I am. But Sofia was now my wife and saw me trying to put my underwear on every morning. And she gave Serana all the grizzly details about how this or that thing I had done on any particular day annoyed her and Serana, being a woman and understanding Sofia in ways I had yet to figure out, would offer the appropriate sympathetic gestures. So while Serana did not know what I looked like trying to get my underwear on, she had a pretty good idea from Sofia's descriptions. Suffice to say, the aura which came with being Dragonborn was insufficient to override the amusement that comes from seeing a man struggling with underwear which was tangled up in his knees.

"Allright," I said. "Let's get this puzzle solved."

We searched and found three missing pieces which we then proceeded to play arrangement elimination on the moon dial. At the moment we got the arrangement right, the moon dial began to act like some Dweemer construct and the next thing we were looking at was a circular staircase going down to a single doorway.

"Very clever mother," mused Serana. "Very clever."

Before we went down the staircase, I looked back up at the starry sky above, that small hexagonal spot where the sky remained. Then I looked about the courtyard again. Serana was doing that as well.

"I'd have to guess, I'd say the moment mother fled the castle, Father went on a rampage. Knowing him, anything at all that reminded him of her was just destroyed," she sighed.

I made a mental note. That was the behavior of a man who had, once upon a time, been in love with the woman who had left him.

"Then he just walled it off," I presumed.

"It appears that way, I suppose he wanted to put the past behind him. I suppose if he had spent more time with us he would have recognized the beauty for himself," she sighed.

I shook my head to myself. Serana had no clue. She still loved both her parents and that is a different love than the kind which you have with your beloved. She had no idea the depth of emotion, that horrid tearing of the heart which comes from someone so deeply involved with you betraying you. It doesn't matter how or why they betray you, but that they do. I didn't like what he had done to the courtyard, but I did not blame him for doing it either.

But that depth she was beginning to taste with Aurelian. The trick would be to get her to understand that the responsibility would lie with her, and not with him vis a vis her vampiric state. If she realized that he had every reason to reject her because she was a vampire, but love her if she was not, then she just might seek a cure. But at the same time she felt that her vampiric state was something which was owed her. After suffering at the hands of Molag Bal, she saw no point in giving up what she had gained, eternal youth and eternal beauty and a skill at slipping between the shadows which rivaled the Grey Fox himself, if such a man actually existed. But then again, she could enthrall him just a little, just enough to get him to accept her state. I didn't think she would resort to such a tactic, at least at first, but there was that self-centered focus on the blood. No matter how I looked at it, there was no way to know how it would turn out. And what was more annoying, it didn't matter how much I worried about it, it was two free willed human (well one former) beings who would be exercising that free will and making decisions. I had to trust her. I had no reason to not trust her yet. But the fact remained, she was a vampire.

"I've never even seen this part of the castle before. Be careful, we don't know what might be around," she warned us.

"Not that we ever know what's around in any other ruin we poke into," sighed Sofia.

Gargoyles are like Drauger, only more annoying. They both start out looking rather creepy, but lifeless. Then all of a sudden they come for you. The only thing that makes them tolerable is the fact that they make noise when they show up. Gargoyles snap, crackle, and growl. And Draugers just growl. The next thing about Gargoyles is that when they are destroyed, they shatter, and valuable gems and ores frequently are found among the rubble. The gems are okay, but the ore is almost always too heavy to haul back. I don't know how may piles of gold and silver I had to leave behind because we couldn't haul it. Now granted my financial prospects were looking way better than they had in months, not since I had left the Imperial City in fact. But I had gained and lost so much gold in in the past year of wandering that I was in no mood to see loot left behind. But this is what we were stuck with, getting to fight creatures which looked like rock and acted like rock. And then left a lot of what was valuable about them behind.

"Did your mother keep gargoyles here?" I asked Serana, trying to figure out if these were set up by her and giving us the usual grief things left behind are wont to do in old ruins, or if this was something special that had happened later.

"Not that I ever saw. My mother had a bit of a thing for magical constructs . . . Not not what you are thinking. She just found them fascinating," replied Serana.

"I've found few constructs fascinating as well," offered Sofia at this juncture. "Rods that vibrate I find very stimulating."

Both Serana and I looked at each other and then at Sofia.

"I mean intellectually!" she practically shouted.

"If you say so Sofi," suggested Serana.

"Would it be safe to say that if you were not a vampire," I mused. "You would be blushing, Seri?"

"It would be safe to say so," she replied.

Meanwhile we continued to work our way through sections of the castle which had one time been occupied the original occupants and left as is, and some places which had been occupied by the Volkihar clan at one point as well. There was one deep section, half filled with water, where the bones of the 'cattle' were deposited upon completion. The room was packed with bones and indeed, even as we were poking about it in, mostly looking for a way through, another skeleton came down the shaft with a clattering and clacking. Over all however, we kept climbing.

Engineering wise, it is not possible to build a stone structure higher than five stories. But Castle Volkihar was not a natural stone structure. We kept climbing until we could climb no more. There was simply no more hallway or doorway for us to pass through.

"We're not near the top yet, there has to be a secret passage here somewhere . . . Leave it to my mother. She always was smarter than I gave her credit for," sighed Serana.

"Parents do that to you," I mused looking at Serana. "So don't underestimate your father either."

Serana looked at me for a second, her natural surprise overriding her usual calm and placid demeanor before saying, "Thanks Val, I'll remember that."

"And I thought the 7,000 steps was annoying," muttered Sofia. "All this climbing and nothing to look forward to when we get to the top, like maybe a foot-rub?"

I started looking, sure enough after about ten minutes of looking for loose stones, wired books, and other secret sorts of latches, I found the candle stick holder that turned and the entire wall opened up. We found ourselves crossing a pathway to the next tower. Very quickly it became apparent that we were in areas of the castle which retained the original design and decoration.

"Do you know this place?" I asked.

"I had always just assumed that the other tower was just completely destroyed inside. My mother kept this a secret, even from me. She must have been up to something she thought was dangerous," replied Serana with a certain childlike wonder at seeing new stuff.

"No doubt," I mused. "Ticking off a Vampire Lord who is planning on taking over the world is always fraught with peril, especially if that Lord happens to be your husband."

"Valentine? Just so you know. I don't plan on ticking you off if you plan to take over the world. I'd actually kind of cheer you on," offered Sofia.

"That's awfully sweet of you, Sofi," I replied. I mean she was offering appropriate wifely support for all the wrong reasons but it was the first time she had actually offered it.

"I know it's sweet of me," she answered. "What can I say? I just drip sweetness when I love a guy."

"Like scent from a rose," mused Serana

"Yeah," answered Sofia.

"Like honey from the comb," I added.

"Yeah."

"Like mead from the bottle," continued Serana.

"Yeah."

"Like drizzle on a sweet roll," I continued

"Yeah."

"Like warm red blood from the throat," mused Serana.

"Yeah"

Serana and I looked at each other.

"Any more?" queried Sofia.

"Not right now," I added.

It took a few more rooms before Sofia 'got it'. She never kicked Serana. But she did kick me.

A few more halls and stairs and rooms, and a handful of gargoyle infested areas later, we opened a door on a massive room which consisted of a main floor and a balcony area overlooking it. There was another exit which led to a porch built into the tower and overlooking the docks we had originally gotten inside the castle from. I figured we were a few stories up. I just stood out on the balcony for a moment basking in the winter's sun, which wasn't anything remotely like warm. But there was no wind blowing off the Sea of Ghosts and accordingly I just enjoyed the sun for a moment.

"This has to be the place!" shouted Serana from inside.

"Come out here Seri," I suggested. "Get some fresh air and take a break."

"Not in the sun Val," she replied.

I was reminded what she was. There were times when I tended to forget. She could be just a clever brave girl at times. I sighed after a moment and walked back in. Sofia was taking advantage of the break to have a bottle of mead. Serana on the other hand was busy looking all over the place.

"Let's take a look around," she insisted. "There has to be something here that tells us where she's gone."

"What exactly are we looking for?" I asked.

"My mother was meticulous in her research. If we can find her notes, they might give us a clue," answered Serana.

I scanned around the place. It wasn't more than a couple of seconds that my gaze fell upon a very large collection of bookshelves. I had several small bookshelves in Proudspire, but nothing as large as what I was looking at. The closest I had seen was the walls of the Arcanium. While that library was far vaster Serana's mother's wall, this set of shelving looked almost modeled upon it.

"Your mother maintained quite a library," I observed. "Not to mention the entire room looks to be a very elaborate laboratory. Even my basement is not as elaborate nor as extensive is this."

"I had no idea her laboratory even existed. She had an alchemy set up in her drawing room. But nothing that even comes close to what's in here," continued Serana. Her tone expressed more and more amazement as we continued to examine the room and all it's storage, shelving, equipment and details.

"What did she research?" I queried. "What could she have possibly been trying to figure out?

"Looking at the equipment and materials, it looks like she was trying to advance her necromancy," answered Serana.

"Well that figures," I sighed. "Vampire, Necromancy, the dead researching magic related to death. Let me say 'well duh', no offense intended Seri. Not that I would have known without more research of this room. I mean yes, I know a bunch of destruction magic, but that's pretty much the extent of my knowledge vis a vis things magical which isn't just a superficial grasp. I have one last question though. She was researching Necromancy. To what end?"

"I don't know," answered Serana. "Certainly not longevity. Kind of a waste of time for a Vampire." She seemed to be thinking for a moment.

Sofia finished her mead bottle and just put it on a shelf next to a bowl of bone meal. I looked at her and smiled. She walked over and gave me a little hug and kiss. I took the time to bury my nose in her hair and sniff. It didn't smell particularly pleasant. To this day I can't explain to you why I liked 'snorting' as she put it, her hair.

"I remember she used to keep a small journal. See if you can dig it up," suggested Serana.

I walked back to the library, not that I needed an excuse mind you, I was busy finding books for my own collection when I had the opportunity. You would be amazed what survives in a ruin sometimes. So for the next few moments I happily worked my way through the books of the library while Sofia happily worked on yet another bottle of mead and Serana took the liberty to quaff a couple of blood potions. Journals in Skyrim are traditionally small leather bound books with button flaps. It was rather surprising that the fashion is as old as it is, for even though the book was at least a couple of thousand years old, it was in the same style. So I flipped through the pages, amazed that the thing could have survived, and then read it. Serana quickly figured out I had found it since she noted I was reading intently and so she came over and looked over my shoulder. She instinctively placed her hands on my shoulders as she looked and then Sofi cleared her throat.

"What's this Soul Cairn that she mentions?" I asked.

"I only know what she told me. She had a theory about soul gems. That they don't vanish when they are used, they end up in the Soul Cairn," answered Serana.

"Okay," Sofia replied. "Why would anyone care? Why would your mother care? Why did she care where used souls went?"

"The soul cairn is home to very powerful beings," replied Serana.

"Well that makes sense then," I mused. "Home to powerful beings, looking for a way to stop Harkon, let's make a deal right?"

Serana looked for a second at a central part of the main floor in the room where a series of hand cut stones formed a concentric set of circles, each one within the one greater. "That circle in the center of the room is definitely a kind of portal," she observed.

"Anything else you can tell us about the Soul Cairn?" I continued, looking through the journal. I had already made a mental note of Serana's latest observation about the floor work, but no one just goes somewhere if they can find out about it first.

"The Soul Cairn is a tiny sliver of Oblivion. The realm of the daedra. It is ruled by unseen beings known as the Ideal Masters."

"Oh boy," sighed Sofia, her tone dripping with her trademarked cheeky sarcasm. "Another bit of Oblivion. This is going to be so much fun."

"As Sofia hinted, Oblivion is not exactly the sort of place you want to take the family on a picnic to," I mused. "Even a vampire family. Why was your mother so fascinated by it?"

"Honestly I don't know. Necromancers are always interested in souls so that probably has come kind of interest."

"If souls really go there, or rather, soul gems," I sighed. "That would include black soul gems as well. What exactly are the Ideal Masters? Being that they are Daedra, I suspect I wouldn't care to invite one over for dinner and a drink."

"No one really knows. No one who has seen them has returned to Tamriel to tell of it."

"Tell me why I am not surprised," I replied.

"Then how are you sure they even exist?" exclaimed Sofia throwing her arms up.

"I've read stories. Stories about fools who tried to communicate with them. You give them souls, they give you power to raise the dead. It's all very business like," replied Serana.

"Anyone who deals with the lion's share of the Daedra are fools," I sighed. "Azura and Meridia being the two exceptions that comes to mind. What's the danger with the Idea Masters, outside of usual litany of unanticipated betrayal and death?"

"Because most of the stories end up with the Ideal Masters duping the Necromancers who end up dead or wishing they were dead," replied Serana.

"Ah, more treacherous than the usual Daedra," I replied.

Serana nodded. "Have you found the ritual she used yet?"

I shook my head, and then continued to read her mother's journal. Serana kept trying to peak over my shoulder so I sat down. I will be frank, it is a very strange sensation to recall that the person standing right behind you, right next to your exposed neck, is a vampire. As was her habit, she would lean closer and closer, to the point where I would literally sense she was within inches of me. Then she would put her hands on my shoulders, to lean in closer, and then Sofia would clear her throat and Serana would jump back.

"Here," I said when I got to the note. "Here it is, she's all excited about having come up with the connection."

"Let me see it!" snapped Serana reaching for the journal.

I handed it to her. She began to read it herself.

"She did it, she did it . . . DAMN!" Serana exclaimed.

"Now what?" snapped Sofia.

"She used her own blood as one of the components of the portal spell," sighed Serana. "Father wouldn't be able to follow her then. No one would."

"Well this has turned out to be a wasted trip," groaned Sofia. "Gonna need another bottle of mead to get over it." She pulled yet another bottle out from under her armor.

I sat down and exhaled for a moment. Serana watched Sofia drinking for a moment, then slipped her own backpack off, grabbed a blood potion bottle, then walked over and sat down next to Sofia. They both took swigs at the same speed and rhythm, stereo drinkers as it were. I looked at both of them for a moment. Then I found myself just staring dully at the blood in the blood potion bottle. Then it hit me.

"Blood . . . Seri . . . BLOOD! Your blood! You probably inherited your mother's blood!" I said standing up.

"Val? You sure?"

"What other option have we got at this point Seri? We have to try, we have to find that Elder Scroll and your mother is the only link we've got. The Gods don't leave you unable to save the world because of circumstance, they always make sure there's a way. Seriously Seri, what are the odds of someone finding two Elder Scrolls let alone one? We even have a Moth Priest to read them back in Castle Dawnguard.

"You didn't find two Elder Scrolls," objected Serana.

"Yes I did," I retorted. "I open this ancient tomb and there it is, on your back. We plunge into Blackreach and there it is, in this gigantic Dweemer machine at the end of a road, courtesy of a nutcase in the middle of a glacier. My life couldn't possibly get any stranger right now. In fact, these past five months of my life has been a constant mockery of every law of averages I know of. Seriously Seri, we are on the right track. This will work, I know it."

Serana looked at Sofia who shrugged and said, "He's gonna pull another rabbit out of a fox hole, you just watch."

Serana started to take big gulps from her blood potion and then Sofia said, "No, like this." and proceeded to demonstrate her own style of bottle draining, which I had first observed in Riften the day she had finally 'fessed up that she loved me. Serana watched her for a second, then tried it. It took her a couple of lifts and swigs, but she figured it out quickly enough.

"And you thought that because you were a few thousand years old you couldn't learn something new," bragged Sofia.

Serana quickly thumbed back to the recipe and began to call out the alchemical components. I dashed from one end of the room to the other, always snagging every single bit and piece of plant and animal product stuffed in the various vases and jars and bowls. You don't let powders in this quantity go to waste. And as I passed Sofia going back and forth, I'd steal a kiss or two from her. She seemed a willing participant in that part of the job. All the while Serana was busy adding a pinch of this that smelled like soot, a handful of that which smelled like an old dirty wash cloth, and a bowl of the other stuff that smelled simply awful. And then she pulled out her dagger and took off one of her black leather gloves with the silver inserts and looked at me almost biting the bottom of her lip. But she didn't because she had two teeth a bit too sharp for that.

"The rest is up to me. Are you ready to go? Because I'm not entirely sure what is going to happen when I add my blood," she asked.

I looked down at the stone inlays on the floor beneath the balcony we were standing on. Then I looked back at Serana. Her face was, as usual, pale so I had no idea how nervous she was at this juncture.

"Can I ask you something first?" I queried.

"Of course what is it?" she replied. She was more than happy to put it off just a moment more.

"What will you do if we find your mother?"

"I've been asking myself the same thing since I got back to the castle. She was so sure of what we were doing. I never thought of the cost," answered Serana.

"Given all that has happened, given how this has all played out," I mused. "I can't help but get the idea that she did everything for your sake. I mean," here I kind of tossed my arms about. "She seals you up in a tomb, but she goes into Oblivion herself. She clearly took the more dangerous option. She might not even have survived down in there. We may never find her . . . Though I suspect we will . . . Or if not, rumor of where she went . . . Even after all this time . . . This has just turned out too . . . How shall I put it? Not fated of course, there's no such thing, only action and consequence. Well . . . Someone I think I prodding me in the right direction so subtly that I don't know he's doing it."

"Sanguine?" offered Sofia. "He said he was going to help us."

"He also said he doesn't think these things out very carefully either," I replied. "No, he's not the one doing it. His help was that Rose Staff we've not used . . . Ever . . . For reasons both of us know very well."

"We do? Valentine you're the one who's never used it. And you're the one who took it and stuffed it into Breezehome in that locked cabinet in Lydia's room and gave her the key with instructions to never let me touch it."

"Oh yeah, that's right," I replied remembering.

"And how do you know what it does? It might conjure free booze!"

"You mean the sort that gets us so drunk we wake up in bed married to someone else?" I replied.

Sofia paused for a moment and let her mouth hang open. "Oh yeah . . . That would be kind of awkward for the two of us."

Serana watched this typical Valentine/Sofia exchange with her usual musing amusement. Then seemed to think for a moment. "You say that she did things for my sake. It's possible. I guess a Vampire mother is still a mother. She worried about me. She worried about all of us. It's possible she wanted to get me as far away from him before he really went over the edge," she concluded.

"We won't know until we find her," I concluded.

"Yes, your right. I just guess I didn't think anyone would care about what I thought about her," answered Serana.

"Huh?" replied Sofia. "You've been with us for how long Seri and you think we don't care? I mean I care, especially who you are thinking of eating next not that I think you're going to eat me because you've been really nice about it so far and all that and so long as it's not me I don't really care who you eat unless it would turn out rather awkward and I mean as in biting the neck and drinking the blood and not that other kind of eating which someone's dirty mind is no doubt thinking of and . . . I'll just shut up now."

Serana smiled for a second, and then walked over and gave Sofia a big hug and kiss on the neck.

"Let's get that portal open," I suggested once Sofia had gotten her attitude back after that sudden sentimental expression of Serana's had knocked her sidewise emotionally speaking.

"All right, here goes," she said as she poked her finger and squeezed a drop of her blood into the mixture. Now that I think back on it, I can't help but wonder if it was in fact Serana's blood at all. Does a vampire's blood come from their own body or does the blood which they consume work it's way into their system afterwards? It's one of those curious questions I didn't ask at the time. One of those questions that really ought to have been answered before we did this. Not that it mattered in the end. There was a sudden flash of light and then the stone inlays began to rise or fall and arrange themselves into a floating staircase that descended through the floor into . . . Well into some place else. It wasn't a flaming flowery arch like I had heard described during the Oblivion Crises, but I couldn't help but wonder if there had been any similarities.

"By the blood of my ancestors, she actually did it, created a portal to the soul cairn. Incredible," sighed Serana.

"Well," I said. "Looks like I get to lead the way." And I started down the stairs towards the glow. And almost immediately felt a horrible cold pain sucking loss. I staggered back up the stairs and the sucking stopped. I paused for a moment and tried to catch my breath. For some reason or other a comment made by a robed Khajit named Maiq we had passed on the road once on our way to Solitude went through my head. "Maiq was soul trapped once. It was not a pleasant experience. You should think about that some time."

"Are you alright, that looked painful," offered Serana.

"Incredible deductive capability you have there Seri. It was. What happened?"

"Now that I think about it, I should have expected that. Sorry. It's hard to describe. The Soul Cairn is, . . . Well hungry is the best word. It's trying to take your soul as payment."

"Whoopee, I love having my life sucked out on my way to Oblivion," exclaimed Sofia.

"So there's no way in?" I queried on impulse. Then I thought for a second. "There has to be a way in Seri. What are we not thinking about? What is the special secret password we have to say?"

"There might be, but I don't think you're going to like it. Vampires are not counted among the living. I could probably go through there without a problem," Serana pondered for a second.

"Try it and see," I suggested.

"Valentine you mean have her turn you into a Vampire? You do that and I swear I'll scream every time you nibble on my neck!"

"No no no Sofi, I mean have Seri try the staircase."

Serana nodded and walked down the stairs and reached the point where the light nearly suffused her. Then she turned to me and came back up.

"No problem," she said.

"Just the sort of thing I was planning to do on my schedule today," came the cheeky sigh of Sofia. "Kill skeletons and skeevers, explore a haunted castle, fight gargoyles, loot cupboards, have a few bottles of mead, become a vampire on my way to Oblivion . . . Did I miss anything?"

"Not your first choice I'd guess?" queried Serana looking at us.

"You know we care about you Seri," I said. "But . . ."

She seemed to be just a little disappointed. I almost felt guilty saying no.

"Probably for the best," she sighed. "Turning someone is a rather intimate moment for us and Sofi would probably want to kill me the moment it was over with and she had experienced the full transformation and knew what you had gone though with me."

"Yeah, I'd rather not kill you now Seri," agreed Sofi. "I mean who would I go drinking with when we get back and celebrate? Valentine just doesn't have the capacity you have, he gets all rubbery and bendy and it's just no fun trying to make love to him unless I apply a few fingers for support and . . ."

Serana had just slowly turned away while I tried to bury my face in my hands. Once I had recovered . . .

"There has to be another way," I argued. By now I had become somewhat firmly convinced that the Gods were directing my life in ways which guaranteed that I would be able to do what I had to do without making any moral compromises. I mean, I wasn't thrilled at being the hero of the story, but damn it, if the gods had made me the hero I was going to be the hero. And there had been consolations . . . I looked over at Sofia, that long curled black hair flowing to her shoulders, those big blue eyes, that gentle cinnamon sprinkling of freckles under them. Her full soft cheeks and gentle pink lips . . . smooth chin and graceful neck. I just turned to her for a moment of inspiration while Serana seemed to think for a second.

"Maybe," she offered. "We could just pay the toll another way. It wants a soul, so we give it a soul, yours."

"Come again? I don't see myself being particularly helpful if I'm just a little soul gem you plop into the basket on the way in."

"Well if you were the sort that vibrates on cue and had smooth rounded sides it might be okay," offered Sofia.

I turned and looked at her.

"It was a joke?" she suggested.

"My mother taught me a trick or two. I could partially soul trap you. It would make you a bit weaker but we might be able to fix that on the other side," offered Serana. "That's the other option anyway. I'm sorry, I wish I knew there was a better way. Just know that, which ever path you choose, I won't think any less of you."

I walked over to Sofia, and turned her to face Serana with me while I put my arms around her shoulders and just looked at Serana for a moment. Sofia leaned back on me for support. Serana nodded.

"Soul trap," I said. "It's the best option."

"I know this is difficult for you. Know that I would never do anything that would hurt either of you," Serana said.

"We trust you Seri," I said. "We have stood back to back and fought the world. That's a bond that transcends even sharp fangs and cold shoulders."

Serana smiled and nodded. She took a soul gem and with a flick of magic, I felt a sudden pull and Sofia's 'uh!' told me she had felt it too. With soul gem in hand, we descended into Oblivion.

The light flashed, Sofia yelped, and we were in. Above us was a perpetual thunderstorm without rain. Around us was a night time desert, scattered about where the white shades of lost souls wandering. Like Blackreach, there was a timelessness about the place. But while Blackreach seemed to be timeless since it was deep beneath the earth and thus you saw no transition of seasons or sunlight, this was timeless precisely because there was no change at all. You could hear the wind, but there was no sign that the wind was blowing. No dust was so much as rippled. We couldn't even leave foot prints behind us. I had no idea how much time was passing.

There were buildings, but they seemed to be just random halls and rooms and porches. What purpose did they serve? I had no clue. What I did find was that at the cracks which occasionally erupted about the ground would settle once a soul gem was placed over them. The soul gem would fill and the crack would settle back down.

I had no idea how long we had wandered, but off in the distance I noted there was strong magic. We wound our way towards it, fighting off routine groups of undead who seemed to thrive in the Soul Cairn.

"This must be why Necromancers want to make deals with the Ideal Masters," mused Serana as we finished off yet another half dozen very hard to bust skeletons. "These undead are far more powerful than anything you can find on Tamriel, relative speaking that is."

"Yeah, these skeletons are way more annoying than the one's that were guarding your castle," I replied gulping down yet another magicka potion as a bit of insurance should we encounter a second wave.

Slowly we approached that source of powerful magic and as we got closer, we found a large almost palatial structure. Yet at the same time it was equally useless in terms of practical design. But as we reached it, I noted that the magic I had sensed was the great wall of force which surrounded the building. Something either was being kept in, or trying to keep something else out. And as we closed in, we noted the something behind the barrier. It was very quietly and calmly making a potion on a little alchemical table. Getting closer, I realized that the something was a woman, who was dressed in a style similar to Serana. Then she sensed us and turned around. The face made it beyond all doubt. It was filled with bits and pieces which suggested Serana. And her eyes made it clear she was, like Serana, vampiric. We had found Valerica.

"Mother? Mother?" cried Serana running towards the barrier.

"Maker, it can not be. Serana?" cried her mother, half in shock and half in delight, and not a little terror and uncertainty thrown in.

"Here comes another touching family reunion," sighed Sofia. "Is the bucket ready?"

I was in Oblivion and surrounded by all that Oblivion suggested, hopelessness, ugliness, despair, and yet . . and yet . . . I managed to find the courage to swat Sofia on the tush.

"Is it really you? I can't believe it. How do we get inside? We have to talk!" cried Serana.

We have to talk. This sums up every issue I have with the female of the species. We are in Oblivion. There are daedra and undead. There is horror and futility. Death is around every corner. Pain and torment fill the senses. You can't walk through it and not be almost overwhelmed with the supernatural horror that is Oblivion. It is the plane of existence that you don't wish upon even the most brutal and cruel of humanities enemies. And here's the woman we need. Here's the woman who seriously needs to be rescued from this if I am to have any heroic qualities present within me. So naturally they are going to talk. The three of them promptly clustered with only the magical barrier separating them. Me? I just leaned on the barrier and waited for the tea and crumpets to be distributed.

"Serana, what are you doing here? Where's your father?"

"He doesn't know we're here. I don't have time to explain!"

We don't? I looked about. Nothing particularly interesting was happening at the moment. Oh look, another flash of lighting illuminating the horribly depressing landscape filled with dead and ought to be dead things. Only interesting thing that's happened is how we spent the last few hours greatly reducing the undead population of this little slice of Not Even Remotely Hinting of Paradise.

"I must have failed. Harkon has found a way to decipher the prophecy hasn't he?"

This woman desperately needed to be extracted from this place. It had clearly gotten to her in some fashion. Every single option she had running through her head was that something horrible was happening.

"No you've got it all wrong. We're here to stop him. Make everything right!" insisted Serana.

A relative statement when it's coming from a Vampire, granted. But this is Serana we're talking about.

"Wait a moment! You've brought strangers here? Have you lost your mind? You! Come forward. I would speak with the two of you."

Yes, you guessed it. Strangers. We don't know what they are or why they are here so we are going to Talk! It looked as if she had suddenly noticed Sofia standing next to her and likewise me who no doubt was looking more than a little annoyed over the fact that what should have been a find and rescue operation had transformed into a chat fest. I walked forward with no doubt an attitude etched upon my face.

"So how is it that a vampire hunter is in the company of my daughter?" snapped Valarica.

"Hey, when you're a vampire hunter you're bound to find a vampire on occasion," snarked Sofia. She had actually expressed the answer that was going through my head.

Valerica seemed to be ignoring Sofia's comment since she was clearly convinced that something horrible was about to happen. "It pains me to think," she continued. "You'd travel with my daughter under the guise of her protector in an effort to hunt me down."

My my aren't we paranoid? This is what happens to you when you hang out in Oblivion boys and girls, so when given the opportunity? Don't take it.

"Seri is our friend!" objected Sofia. "We'd never do anything to her!"

"This is no ruse," I said.

"Coming from one who murders vampires as a trade, I find it hard to believe your intentions are noble." was her retort.

"Well maybe if you were not so busy eating people we wouldn't feel the need to make such career choices!" was Sofia's reply. "I've been in your castle, I got to walk over all the bones!"

"Serana has sacrificed everything to prevent Harkon from completing the prophecy. I would have expected her to have explained that to you."

"She did," I replied. "She risked her life trusting us. She even risked her life coming to Castle Dawnguard. "Your daughter has shown incredible courage throughout this entire affair," I continued. "If it were not for her devotion to stopping her father, we would not be here. This is why we've come. We want the last of the three Elder Scrolls needed to stop him."

"Oh?" replied Valerica. "You think this is all about the Elder Scroll?"

"Well of course," replied Serana. "That's why you sealed me up in that tomb, to protect the Elder Scroll. And that's why you came here, to protect the Elder Scroll." Serana paused, somewhat uncertain. "Isn't that what this is all about mother?"

And so we found ourselves with a brand new twist to the whole affair. One we were about to find out about. And in order to discover this, we had yet to discover the cost we had already paid. That cost would not become apparent for another few days.

Such are adventures.


	22. Chapter 22 - A Song for Valerica

"You think I'd have the audacity to place my own daughter in that tomb for the protection of her Elder Scroll alone? The scrolls are merely a means to an end. The key to the Tyranny of the Sun is Serana herself."

"Okaaaaay," observed Sofia. "So like, this is getting a bit too weird for even me."

"What do you mean, Valerica?" I asked. "What's in that third scroll we don't know that would answer the question of why you sealed up Serana with an Elder Scroll and not Serana herself or the Elder Scroll itself?"

"When I fled Castle Volkihar, I fled with two Elder Scrolls. The scroll I presume you found with Serana speaks of Auriel and his arcane weapon, Auriel's Bow. The second scroll declares that 'The blood of Coldharbor's Daughter will blind the eye of the dragon."

"Alduin?" I asked. I looked at Serana and Sofia. Sofia just shrugged. Serana, taking her cue from Sofia, followed suit. "Okay explain. How does Serana fit in? I mean if we poke Serana's finger and dribble a bit of it on an arrow we fire from Auriel's Bow, does Alduin go blind?"

"I prefer going blind other ways," commented Sofia.

"What are you talking about?" asked Serana, her eyes darting between her mother and Sofia.

"It's a joke," sighed Sofia. "The sort you would blush if you got."

"Oh, one of those," replied Serana.

"Like myself," said Valerica. "Serana was human once. We were devout follows of Lord Molag Bal. Tradition dictates the females be offered to Molag Bal on his summoning day. Few survive the ordeal. Those that do emerge as a pure-blooded vampire. We call such confluences the 'Daughters of Coldharbor.'"

"Coldharbor?"

"It's what some call the domain of Molag Bal. His place in Oblivion."

"Seri underwent this ritual willingly?" asked Sofia, her voice starting to crack.

"It was expected of her. Just as it was expected of me. Being selected as an offering to Molag Bal is an honor. She wouldn't have dared turn her back on that."

"Okay," I said, placing my hand on my forehead massaging it with my finger tips. I was working what was being suggested out in my head. "The Tyranny of the Sun requires Serana's blood, and given your behavior regarding that recipe, I suspect it requires all of it?"

"Now you're beginning to see why I wanted to protect Serana, and why I've kept her as far away from the other Elder Scroll as possible," answered Valerica.

"You loved her and wanted to protect her," I concluded. "A bit extreme but still . . . It's good to hear that from you Valerica."

"If Harkon obtained Auriel's Bow and Serana's blood was used to taint the weapon, the Tyranny of the Sun would be complete. In his eyes, she would be dying for the good of all vampires."

"Like we're going to let that happen," snapped Sophia.

"And how exactly do you plan on stopping him?" queried Valerica.

"I've got some ideas," I said. "If he's too stubborn, I've killed enough vampires to know how to put him down. There are advantages to having Vampire Hunters helping you stop him, one of the reasons Serana kept approaching us."

"If you believe that, then you're a bigger fool than I originally suspected. Don't you think I weighed that option before I enacted my plans?"

"On the man you no doubt loved once upon a time?" I retorted. "I doubt you weighted it from a completely objective perspective. No. And you don't know who we are or what we're capable of doing. We didn't exactly waltz into your castle singing arias and dancing through the corridors while streamers fell from the ceiling. And that's only after we took down more than a few of your husband's volunteers. And did you ever ask Serana what she thought needed to be done? Did Serana's opinion count?"

"You care nothing for Serana or our plight. You're still a vampire hunter body and soul. You're here because we are abominations in your mind. Evil creatures that need to be destroyed."

"You would have found my speech in Castle Dawnguard rather confusing then," I replied. "The one where I read Serana's letter to the entire company. Serana however, trusts and believes in us. Why don't you try it? You'll find your life less nerve racking."

Valerica looked uncertain for a moment. She obviously was no match for the old Imperial charm, coupled with simple logic. As I observed before, there's a reason why the Empire has survived.

"Serana?" asked Valerica looking at her. "These strangers align themselves with those that would hunt you down and slay you like an animal." I found that simile more than apt, for that is what a predator vampire precisely is, merely an animal who can talk to you. Of course Valerica did not see that. It's kind of hard to see what you can become when you persist in denying you can become it. " . . . Yet I should entrust you to them?"

"These 'strangers' have done more for me in the brief time I've known them than you have done for me in centuries," replied Serana, her voice quacking with emotion. Had she been just a human, there would have been tears coursing down her cheeks no doubt. "They have given me food, clothing, protection, a bed to sleep in, a roof over my head, friendship, more than friendship . . . They've . . . They've . . ."

"How dare you!" snapped Valerica. "I gave up everything I cared about to protect you from that fanatic you call a father!"

"Yes," replied Serana. "Yes he is a fanatic. He changed. But he's still my father! Why can't you understand how that makes me feel?"

"Oh Serana," sighed Valerica. "If you'd only open your eyes. The moment your father discovers your role in the prophecy, that he needs your blood, you'd be in terrible danger."

"So to protect me you decided to shut me away from everything I cared about? You never asked me if hiding me in that tomb was the best course of action, you just expected me to follow you blindly! Both of you were obsessed with your own paths. Your motivations might have been different, but in the end, I was still just a pawn to you, too."

I was reminded of what Dexion had said, Molag Bal put a poison into the vampire that made it seek solitude or total domination. In the end, Serana could have ended up nothing else but a pawn.

"I wanted us to be a family again. Like what Val and Sofi are. Like what they have offered me! But I don't know if we can ever have that. Maybe we don't deserve that kind of happiness. Maybe it isn't for us. But we have to stop him. Before he goes too far. And to do that we need the Elder Scroll."

There was silence from Valerica for a moment. She was trying to decide. I looked at Sofia for a moment and she looked blankly at me back. So I took a risk. I walked over to Serana, put my hands on her shoulders, made her look right at me, and then I kissed her on her neck. Serana gently placed her hand on the spot where I had kissed her and then with a soft gaze turned to her mother. I back up next to Sofia.

Who promptly kicked me hard enough that I winced. Fortunately Valerica had not noticed that, she was entirely focused upon Serana.

"I'm sorry. Serana. I didn't know . . . I didn't see. I've . . . I've allowed my hatred for your father to estrange us for too long. Forgive me. If you want the Elder Scroll. It's yours." She turned to face me and Sofia. "Your intentions are, however, somewhat still unclear to me. But for Serana's sake, I'll assist you in anyway that I can."

"So," I replied exhaling and still wincing from the pain in my ankle that a sharp jealous Sofia kick can induce. "Do you have the Elder Scroll with you?"

"Yes," she replied. "I've kept it safely secured here ever since I was imprisoned. Fortunately, you are in a position to breach the barrier which surrounds these ruins."

"Okay," I replied. "What do we need to do to shut this little bit of magical annoyance down?"

"You need to locate the tallest of the rocky spires which surround these ruins. At their bases, the barrier's energy is being drawn from the unfortunately souls that have been exiled here. Destroy the keepers who are tending them and it should bring the barrier down."

"Okay, we get to go out and kill something, three somethings," chirped Sofia. "Gonna be worth the trip then."

"We'll do that and be back soon," I said to Valerica.

"One more word of warning," said Valerica. "There's a dragon that calls itself Durnehviir roaming the Cairn. Be wary of him. The Ideal Masters have charged him with overseeing the Keepers, and will undoubtably intervene if you're perceived as a threat."

"Oh!" replied Sofia with a bit of bravado. "And I thought that the three Keepers were going to be scary. If they have to be kept in line by a lizard, what's there to worry about?"

"What?" started Valerica.

"Mother," replied Sofia smiling. "It's too bad you can't come with us. You would see Val and Sofi handle a dragon. In order to get here? We had to kill two of them."

"Two?"

"Mother? One of the reasons why I know I can trust them, and you can trust them too, is that they could kill me if they wanted."

"Serana you are a Daughter of Coldharbor . . ."

"Seri's selling herself short," I intruded. "But we have figured it out. She can easily kill one of us. But against both of us? She's dead and she knows it. Yes, the number of vampires we have killed is numbered in the dozens. But so also are the number of dragons. Your daughter is in good hands Lady Volkihar. Start packing, you're going home here in a few moments."

"Just how did you become imprisoned here, mother?" asked Serana.

Valerica sighed. "When I entered the Soul Cairn, I had intended to strike a bargain with the Ideal Masters, the custodians of this place. I wished to request refuge in the Soul Cairn and in return I would provide the Ideal Masters with the souls that they craved. If I had foreseen the value they placed upon my own soul. I never would have come here."

"They tricked you then," I observed. "Serana told us they were treacherous."

"The Ideal Masters unleashed their keepers and sent them to destroy me. Fortunately I was able to hold them at bay and retreated into these ruins."

"Back against the wall, no way to fall back further, they decided to entrap you here then," I observed.

"Unfortunately, yes. Since the keepers were unable to claim my soul, they had their minions construct a barrier that I'd never be able to breach."

"Well how do you spend the millennia then?" I asked, slightly tongue in cheek. Seriously I was glad I wasn't in her shoes.

"Time has very little meaning to me. Consequently, it has very little meaning to the Ideal Masters as well. I suppose you could call this the ultimate waiting game. Each watching the other to see which will give in."

"So who are these Ideal Masters?" I asked.

"Can we kill them too?" added Sofia.

"I know very little about them," sighed Valerica. "They're mystic entities that lord over the Soul Cairn, controlling every aspect from it's fabric to it's appearance."

"So what do they look like? What do they resemble?" I asked.

"So we know when we kill one," added Sofia.

"Well some Necromancers believe they are the crystalline structures dotting the Soul Cairn. I believe there's more to it than that."

"Go on," I said. "How so?"

"I think they transcend what we perceive as a physical form. Perhaps they were once corporeal beings, but they've obviously reached a point where they no longer require a tangible presence."

"Spirits then," I mused. "Just a step beyond ghost. Can't touch them in this life that's for sure. What about the crystals?"

"Conduits which the Ideal Masters speak to their underlings and feed on their victims," answered Valerica.

"Ah, not spirits then," I replied. "Spirits don't need to feed, their power is intrinsic to them. They obviously are cowards who hide. They probably are no where near here. But that's beside the point. Why do they feed on souls?"

"The Ideal Masters weakness is their insatiable hunger for pure souls. It's the reason for the Soul Cairns existence and the only leverage a Necromancer has when bargaining with them."

"Okay now their treachery makes sense," I mused. "The Necromancer likewise has a pure soul. So if his soul is superior to what he is offering the Ideal Masters, which is often the case given the attitude Necromancers have, they'll lure him in and take him instead." I did not add what I thought ought to have been added 'like you'. "So what could the Ideal Masters offer to a Necromancer which would make him take such a crazy insane risk?"

"The ability to summon powerful undead guardians as one would conjure and atronach or daedra," she replied.

"Ah, the blinding quality of more power," I observed.

"However, the majority of Necromancers that are foolish enough to enter into a bargain with the Ideal Masters wind up here, as harvested souls."

"Whoopsy!" suggested Sofia.

"Okay," I sighed. "One other question that's nagging me. Why didn't you join with Harkon in the pursuit of the prophecy? We've seen Serana in the sun. She's not a happy camper when it's bright and shining. Really interferes when we're taking on dragons, they like flying you see and she has to look up into the sky to know where to unleash her ice spikes and vampiric drains. Let me rephrase that, why are you smart enough to know better?"

"Harkon's vision is a world plunged into eternal darkness where the Vampire can flourish and never again fear the 'tyranny of the sun.' What he fails to realize is how much attention would be called to our kind if the prophecy came to fruition. If eternal night fell, there are many who wouldn't stand for it. They would raise armies in attempt to return things to normal. The order of the day would be our destruction until every last vampire was hunted down and eliminated."

"So the shadows are better," I observed.

"It's how the vampire has survived for millennia and the only way we can continue to survive in the future," she answered.

I pondered for a moment. She clearly had not thought the full consequences of Harkon's scheme. She was on the right side for the wrong reasons. But history is filled with such people. But if she had not thought it out, neither had Harkon. The possible happy ending had just presented itself to me. The trick would be to get Harkon to listen long enough for him to grasp it. Right now, I was nothing but his next dinner entree.

"So we're off to kill stuff," pronounced Sofia. I looked at her and nodded.

"We will return shortly Lady Volkihar," I said.

"Be careful," she said. "And keep my daughter safe."

We dashed out and started looking for the high points. But the soul cairn was a large place, and we slowed down and began a quiet walk, our eyes scanning in every direction keeping an eye out for more trouble. Eventually however, we had to sit down and relax for a moment. Sofia found a bottle of mead and Serana a blood potion.

"I'm so glad you're here," sighed Serana. "I don't think I could have done this on my own."

"How are you feeling after talking with your mother?" Sofia asked.

"Relieved," answered Serana. "I think. All those things had been building for a while. You have no idea how long I wanted to say that to her."

"Then why did you even agree to her plan?" continued Sofia waving her hands for emphasis.

"Look!" Serana almost cried. "I loved my father. But when he found that prophecy, that became his life. Everything else, even me and my mother . . . we just became clutter. I was close with my mother but she just kept feeding me her opinions of him, and eventually I started believing them."

"Sounds like she's not too fond of him," observed Sofia.

"The moment we gave ourselves to Molag Bal, things got really icy between them. They were both drunk with power and pulling in different directions. Then he found that prophecy, and . . . that was it."

"And there you are, stuck in the middle," I sighed.

"I was," sighed Serana. "Honestly? It took me up until now to figure out that my mother was really just as bad as he was. He was obsessed with power, she was obsessed with seeing him fail. It was just so . . . toxic. Maybe I could have seen this coming. We could all be better off now."

"You shouldn't blame yourself," I said. After all, this is what vampires do, there can be only one on top.

"Like when have we ever figured out our parents before they up and did something stupid?" added Sofia.

"I know that in my head," replied Serana. "But I just can't help feeling bad about . . . the way things are. I know you're trying to help. Sorry that I'm not cooperating. But thanks . . . you mean a lot to me, the both of you."

Serana had been frozen at seventeen. She had been trapped in an adolescent frame of mind and she still had not worked it out completely. But at the same time, she was feeling bad about it because she still loved them.

One by one, we found the undead guardians. The tactics were still pretty much the same as they had always been, but I had learned more and more about warding and I was now using it as a shield while I honed in with a dagger. I was getting ready mentally to start fighting with a regular sword, something long and light like an Ebony or Akaviri blade. While I was still hitting from one side with Serana on the other and Sofia in the middle with the blade. I was working more and more to being the point of the V, the center. I was getting used to the armor. Of course I always started with my fire spells, though on occasion I would switch to shock or cold if the target merited such a switch. I always preferred fire. But in spite of all my magical discipline, I kept running out of it in the major fights. The armor and weapons were becoming crucial secondary backups and I was beginning to see the advantage of the sword and shield. Gone were the days when I was in mage robes. With the last one dead, and no sign of Durnehviir we started our jog back to Valerica's palatial estate. I have no idea how long it took us, there was no sense of time in the Soul Cairn. But at some point we arrived back at the place and there was no magical barrier. Valerica had remained pretty much there. No dashing about crying "free free I'm a little blood sucking bunny" or anything of that nature. No doubt it would have deeply offended her sense of dignity.

"You were successful," she observed.

"Naturally," replied Sofia. "What can I say? I'm simply too awesome for words. Sometimes I even amaze myself."

"Only sometimes Sofi?" queried Serana. "I thought you amazed yourself all the time."

"When I first started out . . . Wait . . ."

I scooted a bit further away from her.

"The Elder Scroll is just a bit further," suggested Valerica, heading back and through a door which opened up into a large courtyard surrounded on all sides by walls. It reminded me of a square arena. Sofia was still working out if Serana had been sarcastic or not. "Follow me and stay close. Keep your eyes open for Durnehviir."

We dashed through the entryway into the courtyard and it opened up. Over the thunder, there was a dull noise.

"Wait! I hear something!" cried Serana.

Durnehviir had come.

He landed upon a great podium on the opposite side of the arena and promptly said something which I didn't understand. There was a flash of energy and skeletons rose form the area around us. It was moments like this when I really missed Sofia having Dawnbreaker. But it was such a cool glass sword we had found and I had enchanted it so that it sucked health from each target and helped heal her so she had taken that one. She likewise preferred it because it healed her up so fast she didn't scar and naturally enabled her to keep her skin pristine and that meant she stayed drop dead gorgeous. Incidentally, these are her arguments, not mine, but really I didn't mind. After all, she liked getting drunk, then naked, and damn it, I liked the fact that she looked so good.

We quickly fell into combat mode. I threw fireballs at Durnehviir while Sofia and Serana and Valerica would concentrate on taking down the black skeletons which the dragon kept bringing up. Then when he closed in I unleashed my voice and engulfed him in a ball of fire. It was a fight that lasted for a good long time. The magic and arrows flew and undead were summoned and he would swoop in and unleash his breath and swipe with his claws. But finally, he was on the ground and wriggling towards me. I shouted fire one more time and pulled out my Elven Bow and shot my quiver and he died. But I did not absorb his soul. His body simply burned into nothingness in a glowing blue purple flame.

And I was okay with that. I really didn't like the soul stealing that happened when I killed a dragon.

"Oh look, a dead dragon," bragged Sofia.

I turned to Valercia.

"Forgive my astonishment," confessed Valerica. "But I never thought I'd witness the death of that dragon."

"It's understandable," I replied with a bit of a cheesy grin. "I'm a little Imperial, and he was a big green dragon with glowing eyes and bad attitude."

"No, you don't understand," she replied. "Volumes written on Durnehviir allege that he can't be slain by normal means. It appears they were mistaken. Unless . . ."

"Go on," I encouraged. I wanted to find out what I could on this point.

"The soul of a dragon is as resilient as it's owner's scaly hide. It's possible that your killing blow has merely displaced Durnehviir's physical form while he reconstitutes himself."

"You mean we have to kill him again?" cried Sofia. "When?"

"Minutes? Hours? Years?" sighed Valerica. "I can't even begin to guess. I suggest we don't wait around to find out."

"You know?" I replied. "I think that is a very good idea."

"Now let's get you the Elder Scroll and you can be on your way."

She led us to another room where there was more alchemy equipment and apparently her chief storage place. She opened up a box and we took it out.

"That's it!" exclaimed Serana. "That's the last scroll. Come on, let's take it to Dexion."

I turned to Valerica. "Come on Lady Volkihar. We've got a place you can stay until we get this all wrapped up. Unless you would rather adventure with us."

"I'm staying here," she replied.

"What? Mother?"

"You surprised Seri? Think of the view your mother has surrounded by all this lightning, dead stuff, and tormented souls. You can't pay enough to get a view like this in Solitude," was Sofia's cheeky suggestion.

"I have no choice. As I told you before. I'm a Daughter of Coldharbour. If I return to Tamriel, that increases Harkon's likelihood of bringing the Tyranny of the Sun to fruition. I appreciate your concern for me, but Serana is all that I care about. You must keep her safe at all costs. Remember that Harkon is not to be trusted. No matter what he promises, he'll deceive you in order to get what he wants."

"Understood," I replied. "I know how to deal with deceit, you have nothing to worry on that count."

"And promise me you'll keep my daughter safe. She's the only thing of value I have left."

"I swear by the Mighty Talos, my ancestor, that your daughter will be guarded to my last breath and last drop of blood," I replied.

I stepped back and waited. Then mother and daughter embraced and kissed each other on the throat. We turned and left.

"We'll be back for you the moment things are safe, mother," promised Serana.

"I know you will," Valerica replied.

We walked across the great arena and down the deep hall for the exit.

"To your last drop of blood," sighed Serana. "Now that means I really have to behave. No sipping from you on the sly or anything."

"Sucks to be you," I replied with a bit of grin.

"As often as I can," she answered. "Suck that is."

"You think Durnehviir will attack Seri's mom once he reconstitutes?" queried Sofia. "That would be really annoying if he did."

We opened the door and walked towards the great staircase which led out of the ruined palace.

"We might be able to ask him," suggested Serana. "If my eyes don't deceive me."

It was at this point that Sofia replied with an "Oh my" followed by a crude description of love making and ending with an appeal to Talos.

For Durnehviir was sitting right outside on a great pillar in front of the stairs we needed to go down.

We took a deep breath, got ready to do it again and then he spoke.

"Stay your weapons, I would speak to you Qahnaarin," he said.

"I thought you were dead," I observed. It seemed an appropriate conversation starter. I mean, what else was I to say?

"Cursed, not dead," he groaned. "Doomed to exist in this form for eternity. Trapped between laas and dinok, between life and death.

"So why are we talking?" asked Serana. Her curiosity was peaked. She had not been with us when we had chatted with Paarthurnax.

"I believe in civility among seasoned warriors, and I find your ear worthy of my words," he replied.

"Language is very important to dragons," I clarified to Serana. "For them, words are treasures which are shared only with those worthy of them."

"My claws have rended the flesh of innumerable foes. But I have never once been felled on the field of battle. I therefore honor-name you "Qahnaarin" or Vanquisher in your tongue."

I nodded. "You gave us a good fight. I found you equally worthy,"

"Your words do me great honor. My desire to speak with you was born from the result of our battle Qahnaarin. I merely wish to respectfully ask a favor of you."

"What kind of favor?" I queried.

"He should be offering to give us favors," grumbled Sofia.

"I'll swat you myself if Val can't reach you," replied Serana. She was experiencing dragon to human intercourse for the first time and this was all very new and amazing to her.

"For countless years, I've roamed the Soul Cairn in unintended service to the Ideal Masters," continued Durnehviir. "Before this, I roamed the skies above Tamriel. I desire to return there."

"So what's stopping you?" asked Serana. She frowned for a moment. It made sense, big dragon, portal back, why hang around here?

"I fear that my time here has taken its toll upon me. I share a bond with this dreaded place. If I ventured far from the Soul Cairn, my strength would begin to wain until I was no more."

"And what can I do to help?" I asked. I'll be frank. I was more than willing to stick it to the Ideal Masters, and that desire only increased in the next few days.

"I will place my name with you and grant you the right to call my name from Tamriel. Do me this simple honor, and I will fight by your side as your Grah-Zeymahzin, your Ally, and teach you my Thu'um."

"Just call your name in Tamriel? That's it?" continued Serana amazed. She was completely new to Dragon magic and the power that they had with even their names.

"Trivial in your mind perhaps. For me, it would mean a great deal. I don't require an answer Qahnaarin. Simply speak my name to the heavens when you feel the time is right."

"So how did you end up in the Soul Cairn?" I asked.

"Because I did not know the Ideal Masters valued treachery above honor. I was free in Tamriel once," he continued. "And like all others of my kind, fought for my territory. But I sought an edge and I began to examine what you call Necromancy. The Ideal Masters promised me the power to summon great undead armies provided I did a small favor for them, namely keep a woman named Valerica from escaping the Soul Cairn. I did not know who she was. Had I known she was immortal. . . "

"Well she won't be leaving for a bit yet," I replied. "So we don't have to deal with that issue. You won't feel the need to stomp on her if she keeps to herself in her little ruin will you?"

"My instructions were to keep her, not kill her. So as long as she remains here, and I am here to guard her, I will be keeping my part of the promise."

"I'm thinking," I continued. "The more I summon you, the more you'll regain your connection to Tamriel. Eventually perhaps, you will be free to leave forever. We will talk again of this."

"Your words, Qahnaarin, give me hope. You are indeed a worthy warrior. I look forward to having tinvaak with you again."

And with that, he flew off and we headed back for the portal, stopping along the way to snag the soul gems we had left to get in. We walked back to the portal and once again headed back up the stairs and entered Tamriel. Even a vampiric necromantic lab smelled sweet compared to the Soul Cairn. We waited for the sun to rise so there would be no vampires to object to the boat we snagged from the jetty and rowed back to the northern shore of Haafinger. From there it was a day's walk to Solitude where I figured we would rest and relax and get ready for the next phase of our trip, namely getting this Elder Scroll to Dexion so he might read it and we would know the next parts of the prophecy and what we needed to do. There was still much to know about Auriel's Bow. Where it was to be found was the chief bit of information we needed to have. For if Harkon got it first, then Serana would become the new prey.

And so on the 2nd of Morning Star we walked into our home in Solitude and unpacked our stuff. Sofia happily trotted up to our bedroom and took a nap on our bed while I sat by the kitchen fire with Jordis and Serana for a bit. The two of us related the events of the Soul Cairn to Jordis.

"For once," she replied. "I'm not at all upset about being left behind to watch the house. The Soul Cairn sounds like a simply dreadful place and not the sort I'd want to adventure in."

"I'm worried Val," sighed Serana. "About my mother, when we go back to get her. Durnehviir is charged with keeping her in the Soul Cairn. If words are as important to Dragons as you suggest. He'll feel honor bound to fight us to keep her."

"Yes," I replied. "Which is why he won't be in the Soul Cairn when we go to fetch her. I'll summon him from the balcony prior to us going in, and I'll let him have some free time roaming Tamriel and terrorizing the elk while we slip in and out. Once she is no longer in the Soul Cairn, well he isn't charged with putting her back into the Soul Cairn either. And remember, the treachery of the Ideal Masters are such that I doubt he'll feel honor bound to restore the contract. And once she's out? He's no longer bound by the oath anyway."

Serana began to grin rather widely.

"Your fangs are showing dear," I suggested.

"So?" replied Serana still grinning. "Isn't a girl allowed to flaunt her body when she's in a good mood?"

"Depends on what part of the body, she's flaunting," I replied. "And if Sofia is around for a jealous rage."

"You seem to derive a certain level of satisfaction that Sofia's so jealous," observed Serana.

"It tells me she's not going anywhere," I replied. "Given who she is and what I experienced with her since Last Seed, I find it a very important attribute of hers."

Serana nodded and I left to go upstairs and join Sofia in sleeping in my own bed. Once we had awoken, we spend the rest of our free time packing the wagon up for our next trip to Dawnguard Castle. And the next morning we gee hawed the horses and rode out of Solitude on a sunny day with a gentle breeze. It wasn't a bad way to start a trip on a winter's day, even Serana was in a good mood because she was in her coffin sleeping right through the sunshine.

But then Sofia's contractions began.

How do you describe that curious combination of grief, anger, rage, and frustration when you know something horrible is happening, indeed has already happened, and there's nothing you can do about it? How do you deal with the fact that forces beyond your control have taken from you the one thing you valued so much and you can never get it back? For the next 12 hours, Sofia was in labor delivering our dead daughter, while Serana, hood up and grim expression upon her face, kept the wagon moving forward. To hear Sofia, between labor cramps, screaming, begging what ever power there was to keep this from happening to her when it already had? But in the end, she delivered our daughter. Barely large enough for me to hold in both my hands. I named her Psuki. It was an ancient word from eastern Cyrodiil which meant spirit or wind.

I built for her a proper Imperial pyre and with prayers that the smoke carry her soul to Aetherius, I lit the wood and we watched the fire burn and reduce our daughter to ashes. All the while Sofia just leaned against Serana who held her close looking blankly at the fire as it burned.

As the flames rose into the air I swore my third oath, that the Ideal Masters would pay for taking my daughter from me. There was no doubt in my mind that they had killed her.

It sucked to be Dragonborn. Had I been no one important? I never would have had to experience this.

That night as the embers glowed, we snuggled down in our bed while Serana went out 'for a very long walk'.

"Are you going to hate me now?" whispered Sofia.

"It wasn't your fault," I replied.

"Maybe if I hadn't been drinking maybe if I had been more careful maybe . . ."

"Sofi, Sofi, Sofi . . ." I sighed. "You can maybe yourself into a depression so deep you'll never get out."

"But Psuki was so important to me, she was the proof that you were going to be there for me . . . taking care of me . . . forever. Now she's gone and . . ."

"I'm still here," I said. "It's for better and worse right? Well this is a worse bit. Just like hearing that you loved me back as we walked down the stairs to the Ratway in Riften was one of the best parts."

"Are you really meaning it?" she asked. "Are you really here forever?"

"Always," I said. "I love you Sofia. I've loved you since I first laid eyes upon you, in that drunken stupor, in your little white underwear bits, looking so damn beautiful in the moonlight I couldn't believe you were real. It was like a dream come true. Of course then I woke you up and you began to stutter and deny you were stalking me and . . ."

Sofia began to giggle.

" . . . But that didn't last long did it? In a few days I'm trying to try to make you my girlfriend and the Greybeards call me and then I tell you I love you in Kynesgrove and you push me on the ground and then I pin you on the dragon mound . . ."

Her giggles got even more jiggly. Her emotions were in a high state and she needed the release.

"If you love me," she suggested. "Prove it for the rest of the night until I'm exhausted and can only lay here and take it. Then prove it to me some more . . . Until I'm asleep and can forget."

I let loose an exaggerated sigh. "Oh the demands you put upon me," I feigned regret. "I suppose I had better start now."

"Yes, you had better," she agreed.

It would have been nice to say things were all better next day. They weren't. Sofia bitched, grumbled, refused to 'make an effort' in her own words, and eventually she crawled into the wagon and started to take it out on Serana who was making an effort to keep awake given the circumstances. Serana couldn't take it any more and she ended up on the seat next to me as we headed south towards Riften on the road around noontime.

We were quiet for a bit. Then Serana sighed.

"It's been a tough day," I suggested. "A tough two days."

"I hate myself," she sighed again.

"What? Seri what brought this on?"

"You know why I was driving the wagon and not being in it for you and Sofi?"

"Why not?"

"She was bleeding . . . I wanted the blood. There she was, the best friend I've had and I wanted to eat her. She was suffering, she was grieving, she was loosing the one thing that she was so looking forward to having and all I could think about was how good it all smelled. I couldn't be there for her when she needed me the most. I'm a rotten friend. I'm nothing but a blood sucking monster. I hate this. . . ." She was quiet for a moment. "I hate myself!" she nearly screamed.

She just sat there, shaking with her head convulsing like people do when they are crying. But there were no tears. She began to whimper and sob. But there were no tears. I really wished I could simply take her into my arms and hold her until it was all better. But . . . I was in love with another woman. So I simply sat there letting the horses pull the wagon while Serana got all the grief out.

"Why don't you hate me," she sighed after a few moments.

"Would it make you feel better if I did?" I queried.

"Of course not," she snapped.

"So that's why I don't hate you," I replied. "It doesn't solve anything now does it?"

"If you want me to go," she said. "I'll understand. You can find a way to stop my father without me I'm certain. I can just go and . . ."

"And you think you're bad now?" I snapped. "Wait until you've gone all solitary and your transformation to predator vampire is complete. You girl, are going NOwhere. Not when you have friends you care enough about you to want to see you end up happy at the end."

"Val you don't understand, it's only a matter of time before I eat the two of you! I don't want to do that!"

"On the contrary, Seri," I replied. "I do understand that it's only a matter of time, rather more a matter of circumstance. But that circumstance has not happened yet, and if Sofi and I have to be your Dawnguard nightmare, yes, we'll be it. But until then, there's still hope for you and I intend to see that hope fulfilled."

"Oh?" she turned facing me. Her eyes were looking more than a little feral. "And what hope is that? That I'll give up my youth, beauty, strength, and power and turn into a creaky little mortal and become the poster girl for the Dawnguard? That I'll run off and marry Aurelian and be your kid sister and get pats on the head for being a good wife and mother and social cog in the Imperial City?"

"I take it you like being beautiful forever?" I queried.

"Damn right I do."

"Will you still enjoy it when you are all alone?"

She was silent on that point.

"You have beauty, youth, strength, and power forever. But with it comes no friends or . . . it seems . . . family," I observed. "Seems to me that you need to do some long hard thinking on what is most important to you."

"I still have mother," she retorted.

"And if what I think works, you'll get your father back as well," I added. "But payment is only delayed it seems. All I can do for you Seri, is give you more time to decide. But in the end, you're going to have to make a decision about what you want your future to be."

"I'm going to see if I can support Sofi a bit," she grumbled. "I don't have to listen to this . . ."

She turned, opened up the hatch and slid the flat back and crawled into the wagon. And so for a bit I rode the wagon all by myself. I began to compose a song to pass the time.

The world is still turning,  
The fire is still burning,  
And beside me there's a heart that's beating,  
And for love that heart keeps on entreating.

The wind is still calling,  
The snow is still falling,  
Before me is a dark dragon seeking,  
And for vengeance the time is so fleeting.

And so now I face a grim fate,  
A destiny I had to take,  
And so through the thunder and driving rain,  
I must cross the fields of battle and pain.

Let me cross the hot burning sand,  
Let me take now the hero's stand,  
Let me go to where no words are spoken,  
And may I return with heart unbroken.

Okay, it's doggrel, I know it. But it was a long lonely drive down the roads of Skyrim. At one point I heard the crying of Sofia and Serana's "It's alright I'm here for you and Val's just a call away."'

"Talos," I whispered quietly. "I wish you would give me just a taste of the future so I might know what is going to happen next."

But He was quiet as usual.

It was late Sundas afternoon, the 4th when we rode into Dawnguard Castle. The three of us greeted the guards who looked at us with that uncertainty of what to do with us. We were rather quiet and subdued but as each of us had an elder scroll slung on our backs it was clear we had risen in clout factor among the ordinary Dawnguard. There were, as a consequence, only a few hostile stares.

Durak was there to greet us when we got into the foyar. I use the term greet loosely. He was after all an orc and orcs are not the sort that smile often. And we had Serana in tow, and we all had grumpy faces and when Serana was mad, she literally looked more than a little scary. So Durak scowled back.

"Isran's going to want to talk with you first," he said. "It's about Dexion."

"What?" I queried.

"It would be just our luck for him to have turned into a vampire," sighed Sofia.

"And that would be a problem?" snapped Serana.

"We know the symptoms of the infection," growled Durak. "There are ways to treat it before it becomes threatening. Think we are idiots? No, that's not it."

"To bad," muttered Serana.

"You're looking to get a shiv, orders or no orders, vampire," continued Durak. "So straighten up. I lost family to your kind and I don't forget or forgive easily."

Serana just stared at him. He stared back. But apparently the words 'lost family' began to eat on Serana's will. She turned away first.

"Sorry about your family," she muttered. "I didn't do it."

"No you didn't," replied Durak. "Which is why you are still standing in this hall. But if I knew that I could save just one wife or husband the grief of separation, one son or daughter the pain of loss by killing you? You would already be dust on the stones of this hall."

And with that he turned on his heels and walked away.

"I had forgotten how warm and cozy this castle is," muttered Serana.

I kept my mouth shut. I was not in the mood for another kick. Though granted Serana didn't kick, she just glared, Sofia's responses very much governed my snark.

We walked up the stairs and crossed the balcony overlooking the foyer where Isran's bedroom was. There, seated at a table, was Dexion, a cloth covering his eyes while Isran stood next to him. Agmear had a bowl of soup in his hands and was gently taking spoonfuls and holding it in front of Dexion's nose so he would smell it, open his mouth, and receive the soup. He was obviously blind.

That's the annoying thing about adventures.


	23. Chapter 23 - A Song For the Grieving

"I was going to say we had the other Elder Scrolls, Dexion," I said. "But it seems you are in no condition to read them. What happened?"

"Oh this is so great, this is so damned great, isn't my damned life bad enough already?" began Sofia.

"Shut up!" snapped Serana turning on Sofia.

"Bite me!" snapped Sofia back.

"Oh I want to right about now," replied Serana who's features were taunt with anger to the point that her fangs were quite prominent. "I really want to!"

"Feel the LOVE!" I shouted. "One BIG HAPPY FAMILY!" I waved my hands in the air for emphasis.

"I'm not surprised," groaned Isran. "This is what happens when you take a monster into your company."

The three of us turned and stared at Isran. It was a curious response.

"Isran?" I suggested. "We get to yell and scream and shout at each other, especially when we're upset over things which have happened in the past few days. But don't blame this on Serana."

"It's not my fault!" argued Sofia almost immediately. "So it has to be either your's or Seri's."

"The world is coming to an end," muttered Isran.

"It's not my fault or . . ." I began.

"And our lives are hanging in the balance," muttered Isran.

"So you ARE blaming me!" shouted Serana.

"And we're depending upon a sarcastic Imperial, drunk Nord, and blood thirsty Vampire," muttered Isran.

"Oh for the love of Talos will the two of you bottle your female for a second so I can finish?"

"Stendar preserve us it can't get any worse," finished Isran.

"Bottle my WHAT?" gasped Serana.

"Um you okay?" suggested Agmear to Dexion looking nervously at us.

"He makes no sense at all when he's like this," agreed Sofia.

"It's . . . It's quite alright," assured Dexion to Agmear. "I've already traveled with them and I've seen them be this way somewhat routinely. They'll get over it sometime, you just can't tell when."

"It's NOBODY's fault!" I finished.

The three of us took a moment to pant. Then I turned to Dexion.

"So what went wrong?" I queried in as calm a voice as possible.

"Deciphering one of the Elder Scrolls is nothing like reading a simple book. There's quite a lot of ritual and concentration required," Dexion answered. "It can take months, even years to complete a single scroll and even then, months to recover."

"So the Elder Scroll we've got?"

"I'm sorry, I can be of no further use in this matter," sighed Dexion. "It's my fault. In my haste to read the first scroll, I neglected the careful preparation required. I thought I'd be able to alloy the after effects, but I was wrong. Now I am paying for it."

"Can anything be done to help you?" asked Serana.

"No," replied Dexion. "It'll have to run it's course. And there is always the chance I may never recover."

"We are SO SCREWED!" Sofia practically screamed.

"No," said Dexion. "There is another way. The question is, how much are you willing to risk in order to find Auriel's Bow?"

"End of the world? Bunion's on the toes? Death forever under a sunless night? Dandruff? Really now Dexion, given what is staring us in the face, what could possibly be worse?" I queried.

"Oh I dunno," sighed Sofia. "Maybe having a constant itch in the small of my back for a few dozen years."

"You seriously can't be serious?" queried Serana looking at Sofia.

"I can't guarantee you'd be free from harm," added Dexion. "Becoming blind could be the least of your worries."

"Won't be me doing it then," concluded Sofia. "Valentine's got that job."

"I love you too," I sighed looking back at Sofia. "Don't worry about that Dexion," I continued turning back to him. "Just tell me what we need to do."

"Scattered across Tamriel are secluded locations known only as Ancestor Glades. There's one in Skyrim, up in the mountains south of Falkreth," said Dexion. "Performing the Ritual of the Ancestor Moth within the glade should provide the answers you seek."

"Why do we always have to travel across ALL of Skyrim for the next part of the job?" whined Sofia.

"You forget we're going up to the Throat shortly for the second scroll," I replied.

"And the 7,000 steps again? How many times do I have to freeze my southern parts off before we can retire and get drunk?"

"That's a very fine whine you are serving up Sofi," sighed Serana.

"If I want sarcasm I'll talk to Valentine," replied Sofia.

"Okay, now for the Ritual," I continued. "Can you explain it?"

"It involves carefully removing the bark from a Canticle Tree which will in turn attract the Ancestor Moths to you. Once enough of the moths are following, they'll provide you with the second sight needed to decipher the scrolls."

"Getting mobbed by moths? Why does this sound like some sappy kid's story one of the Bards would come up with?" queried Sofia.

"And how does one carefully gather the bark?" I continued. "Are we talking about gently lifting it off of the ground where it has fallen, gently peeling it back from the tree like a birch?"

"In keeping with tradition, you must use a specific tool in the Ancestor Glade, an implement known as a Draw Knife."

"But I wanted to use Nettlebane," complained Sofia.

"Can I swat her, Val?"

"Be my guest, Seri."

"Ow!" concluded Sofia after a flat smack of a leather with silver embellishments covered hand striking a leather covered posterior resounded through the room.

"Every Moth Priest is taught this ritual, but few ever get the chance to perform it . . . You should consider yourself fortunate if it works for you."

"Bitch," suggested Sofia.

"Do I need to read the scrolls in any particular order?" I continued.

"From what I saw in the vision," Dexion recollected. "The Elder Scroll which foreshadows the defiance of the gods with the blood of mortals is the key to the prophecy."

"Okay," I sighed. I still had questions but Serana, apparently possessing a curiosity about something she had, in her own words, 'slept with' for the past 1,000 years but gained no insight about, began to ask Dexion a few questions of her own.

"What do you know about the Elder Scrolls?" she began

"Not as much as I would like," replied Dexion. "Even after spending decades of my life studying the Elder Scrolls, they remain a great mystery to me. Its true for most of my brothers in the order as well. We don't really know where the scrolls came from or who wrote them. What we do know is that some are born with the special gift to read the Elder Scrolls. These chosen few can divine events from the past and future within the scrolls, though in time, it drives us to blindness. I'm afraid there's not much more to tell. Even today, the Elder Scrolls remain a great enigma."

"I'll be in the wagon, drinking," suggested Sofia who walked out.

"Thankfully," sighed Serana as soon as she was out of earshot. "I'm sorry Val," she continued. "I know you love her dearly but Sofi has been really hard to be with since . . ."

"Yeah," I replied.

"Is it normal for Moth Priests to go blind?" queried Serana once again turning to Dexion.

"Sadly, yes," he replied. "It is the inevitable fate we agreed to pursue when reading the Elder Scrolls. It generally doesn't occur until a Moth Priest is in his latter years, but in my case I simply wasn't preparing myself properly."

"So," mused Serana. "We are kind of alike in a way."

"How so?"

"You are doomed to end your life blind and I was doomed the moment my parents started to worship Molag Bal."

"There is a difference," observed Dexion. "I chose this path. You fate was thrust upon you."

"Yes, it was," replied Serana. She seemed to think upon that for a second. "What do Moth Priests do exactly" she continued.

"It is our sacred duty to study the Elder Scrolls," answered Dexion. "We read these ancient scrolls of prophecy in order to divine the future, and we use that knowledge to aid the Emperor. Sometimes we venture out into the world in search of more scrolls to add to our library at the White-Gold Tower. That is the very purpose that first brought me to Skyrim

"The White-Gold Tower?"

"It is the great spire at the heart of the Imperial City, among the tallest towers in all of Tamriel. The lower floors are home to the Imperial Council, and the Order of Moth Priests occupies the middle floors. The tower suffered damage in the recent war with the Aldmeri Dominion, and is not what it once was. I hope one day to see it restored to it's former glory."

"They still haven't started the repairs?" I queried. "Sheesh, what is the Elder Council doing these days? Turn your back on the Imperial City and . . ." I threw up my hands again. "Really Seri, you need to see the White-Gold Tower some day. Maybe we'll travel there, you, Sofi, and me, and I'll take you up to the top to see how far you can look in Cyrodiil . . . unless . . . you would prefer Aurelian take you." I grinned.

Serana gave me a goofy grin back. "I've written him a letter." she added.

"Not in blood ink I hope?"

"You mean that's not a good idea?"

"No," grumbled Isran. "It's not even a good idea to write to him, who ever he happens to be."

"Nobody asked you," snapped Serana before adding, "Jerk!"

"Actually Isran's right about the ink," I said with a sigh. "Use regular black ink."

"But black is so morbid! And it doesn't smell nice either."

"A vampire worried about being morbid," grumbled Isran. "Now I've seen everything."

"He won't care about the smell, here," I said. "When we get back to the wagon, I'll help you finish it and scent it properly."

"No you're not going to help me finish it, it's . . . personal."

"Well I'll help you when you're ready to make it smell nice," I finished. "We'll stop in Riften and get the alchemy stuff and come up with a nice smell he'll respond well to."

"Well," sighed Serana after a moment of thinking. "I'll let you scent it if you think that's the best course. But if you screw this up for me . . ." she gave me a very stern look fraught with suggestion.

"My my," I replied. "Aren't we possessive about my brother."

Serana opened her mouth to say something but I kept going.

"Serana if you think for one moment that I would deliberately sabotage any chance you had at happiness then why would you even think of hanging around with us, let alone this long?"

Isran nodded. "That's how you handle a vampire, never let them achieve dominance in anything," he said.

"What is this!" she snapped. "Some sort of Dawnguard analysis? Am I a specimen on a lab table to be experimented on?"

"No," growled Isran. "You are a Vampire. You hunt and drain the blood of living humans to sustain yourself. Your very existence produces pain and suffering in the weak and helpless."

"I don't prey upon just anyone!" retorted Serana. "I have my standards!"

"Oh?" queried Isran. "And when you are in your castle, you don't avail yourself of the cattle?"

"Not unless I have . . ."

"There," he continued. "You have standards, but they are not hard and fast. Stendar have mercy on you, for you were a good woman once, but now you have a monster in you. A monster who will destroy what ever good you have left in you before it's over with."

Serana just stood there trembling, I wasn't sure if it was rage, anger, or just the simple fact that Isran, with all the tact and finesse of a charging herd of rioting mammoths, was essentially telling her the truth.

"Just . . . Get out!" she snarled.

"I'll go," replied Isran. "Even if this is my castle and this is my private room. I'll get out. I've had my say and Stendar knows I've no more to add to it." He turned, gave me a look that suggested a lot of things, mostly good I hoped, and walked out.

She stood there just panting while Agmear worked on getting a few more mouthfuls of soup into Dexion. He then looked at her.

"I . . . still like you," he offered to Serana. "You seem kind of nice I think . . . sometimes anyway. Isran means well, he's just really focused you know? We just want to make this world a better place . . . don't you?"

She stood there for a second just looking at that goofy Nord being just a nice guy and helping a blind man eat. Then she smiled, walked over, and leaned down over Agmear who briefly panicked and then placed his hand on his throat.

"You . . . You didn't bite me did you?"

"You would have felt it," she observed. "No, I just kissed you because you said something nice to me."

"Val?" he turned to me and showed me his throat.

"No teeth marks Agmear," I said. "You have nothing to worry about. That's just how Serana shows you she likes you. Lips to throat, but no teeth. Her way of saying you can trust her."

"I've saw her bite and drain a brigand, Agmear," added Dexion. "If she bit you, you would know it. And she wouldn't let go either. Once she does that . . . She won't stop until you or she is dead."

"Oh?" Agmear replied. "This is . . . Still so new to me . . . Getting it all down right." He turned to Serana. "Sorry I got scared there."

"It's okay Agmear. You're one of the few things I look forward to seeing when I come to this castle."

"You . . . You look forward to coming here?"

"No," she said smiling. "But you make it more tolerable."

I sat down and so did she. We just sat for a moment letting the tension drain.

"Dexion?" asked Serana. "Can I ask you a few more questions?"

"Sure," he replied.

"How's a moth related to the Elder Scrolls?"

"Well, as I'm sure you've figured out by now, it's no mere coincidence that we're named "Moth Priests". The voice of the Ancestor Moth has always been an integral part of reading the Elder Scrolls."

"Moths barely make a sound, let alone speak," observed Serana. "I spend most of my waking hours at night, I am quite familiar with the behavior of moths. I even kept a few of them as pets. It was . . ." and here she got contemplative again in that sad sort of way ". . . one of the few animals I could keep as a pet that didn't smell delicious."

"Oh the moths don't literally read the scrolls . . . But they maintain a connection to ancient magic that allows the Moth Priest to decipher them. If you listen closely when you find the glade, you should be able to hear their song . . . a soft harmonious trilling. It's through this ancestral chorus that the moths tap into a form of primal augur and become a conduit for deciphering the scrolls."

"It sounds kind of pretty," she mused "but how does that help the Moth Priest?"

"By having the Ancestor Moths close to the Moth Priest, they can utilize the conduit and share the moth's augury. Only the most resilient of Priests can do it this way . . . It takes years of practice to interpret the harmony. "

"Then how do I even stand a chance?" I burst out. "I'm sorry Dexion. But all this years of practice and training and I'm expected to read two elder scrolls now. I have to read one on the top of the Throat of the World and now this one in the Ancestor Glade. And there won't be any moths on the top of The Throat of the World! How will I do this, and even if I do this, will I ever be able to see again?"

Dexion paused and seemed to think for a moment. "You've come this far and you've found several Elder Scrolls." he began. "Whether you believe it or not, the scrolls have a mind of their own. If they didn't want you to find them, they wouldn't allow it." He paused again and faced me. "Because of this, I strongly believe you were meant to hear the ancestral chorus. Only one way to find out."

"But that doesn't solve the problem with The Throat of the World," I pointed out.

"Indeed that is a good point," answered Dexion after a moment's thought. "But I can offer you this consolation. The scrolls, since they have a mind of their own, can also let someone read them without ill effects. As Dragonborn, you may be granted that grace for that one scroll. But that's just it, it might be for only that scroll. One never knows with the scrolls in the end."

I nodded. "So I trust in the Gods for the one scroll and do the moth ritual for the other. Never is entirely easy is it?"

"Killing dragons is not what I would call a walk in the park," added Serana. "Especially since you have to look up to do it."

"You're right Seri," I answered chuckling. "Come on, let's head back to the wagon."

"You mean we're not sleeping in the castle?" asked Serana, her face lighting up like a spark tossed upon oil soaked wood.

"We have our favorite beds already made and ready to go," I answered. "And the Dawnguard has only one guest bedroom. I figured you won't want a long moonlight walk tonight."

"No no she doesn't," stammered Agmear for a second before his natural excitement sent him speaking at a million words a second. "We've had all sorts of Vampire scouts nosing about in the valley and on the road to Riften. We've been trained to night hunt and stalk them, taking them out with crossbow shots. It's really exciting how Isran has set up the patrols. I've even shot a couple of them and one of them went down the moment I hit them! Vampires you see have a certain way of moving in the night that you can spot and if Serana goes out, someone will hit her by mistake."

He was so animated and excited about this he completely failed to note Serana's annoyance.

"Good to know," I said as quickly as I could.

We walked out and headed back out of the castle. As we walked down the path towards the wagon we saw refugees huddled in tents and Dawnguard practicing their fighting skills which were mostly crossbow tactics. Even though the sun had set and twilight was rapidly fading, the Dawnguard persisted in their practicing. In fact, they were stepping up the activity. Then it dawned on me. The Dawnguard fought most of it's battles at night.

"People running to the Dawnguard," muttered Serana. "This wouldn't have happened if my father had not gotten all bound up in that damned prophecy. The damn war is about to start."

"You'll survive," I said.

"How do you know?"

"Because Dawnguard policy is to spare any Volkihar that aligns with you and your mother. Isran rightly concludes that there will be so many vampires about that we may never have to actually hunt you for paucity of targets."

"That makes me feel so much better," oozed her sarcasm.

"Best I can do Seri," I replied. "Just remember Sofi and I actually like you and having you around."

She sighed.

"And while I'm thinking of it," I continued. "There's a ruined tower on the road to Riften. I saw smoke from a fire there as we rode in earlier this evening. Maybe there's a bunch of Brigands. What do you say we get a head start, ride over to that tower, and if they are bad people, we raid it, and you get yourself a nice warm fresh dinner."

She looked at me. "So you think you can bribe me with a live feeding to make me feel better?" she snapped.

"Yes," I retorted looking straight into those glowing red eyes of hers.

It took a second, but then she began to giggle. "Sofia and mead, Serana and brigand . . . Or necromancer . . . Val . . . I'm sorry I've been a bitch lately."

"Not your fault," I said. "None of this would be playing out like this if Sofi hadn't lost . . . Psuki."

"It never occurred to me that the Ideal Masters would raid her womb for a soul," she sighed. "I'm so sorry Val, in a way it's my fault."

"None of us thought about it," I said. "We all just presumed it was the three of us and not four. If anyone is at fault, it's the Ideal Masters, and I will see to it that they pay in the end. Somehow . . . Some way."

She exhaled once, unleashing some tension I presumed.

"I'm so glad you said that Val. That has been bugging me almost as much as my blood lust for Sofi during her miscarriage. I can't fix one, but you've let me fix the other. Thanks. Okay, let's see if we can buck Sofi back up. And about that tower? I'd really like that about now."

We reached the wagon and Serana winked and walked over to the horses, and commenced to brush, caress, and in short be a girl who loved horses. She would be shortly hitching them up I suspected. I walked in. Sofia was seated on the bench, there were four empty bottles on the floor, two on the table, and one in one of her hands. The other she was draining. She looked horribly depressed.

I sat next to her. "Hey girl," I said. "We're going to head out, Serana's gonna do the driving for a while I think, find a little something to do to keep our minds off of things. Then we'll ride to Rifen, shop in the morning, and then start towards Iverstead. How's that?"

"Valentine," she began to blubber. "I WANT PSUKI BACK!"

And for the second time in our relationship she just cried and cried and cried. And I just held her. And I began to realize something. Yes she was beautiful and she was a great lover as well. But she also, in spite of her immaturity and self-centeredness, had a very deep emotional attachment to people she got close to. She tried to hide it, she had tried to hide it all through our early adventures together, and she still tried to hide just how deeply attached she was to me. But when something was lost, something she really cared for, she had to go through some serious grief before she could recover. At some point while I held her, the wagon began to move. I knew what Serana was doing. I found it fascinating that she seemed to have such a good grasp of human needs and emotions. She knew what Sofia needed, and she was going to provide it. For once Sofia had gotten her tears out and dried off, and I was just holding her, she gently turned my chin so that she could look at me, and she kissed me. And then she kissed me again.

"Give me another baby," was all she said.

Well what could I do? I mean, when the woman you love makes a request like that, you really need to make the effort. Its for the sake of the marital relationship you know. All the while Serana was driving the wagon under the night sky illumined by the flickering northern lights. As the tavern tale would have it, the wagon was rocking, but not just from the cobblestones. An hour or so later, Serana lifted the latch to the front and shouted in that we were approaching the tower. Sofia, sobered up and looking way more content than she had in a couple of days got into her armor while I, in theory, helped her, but in reality, at least according to her, kept putting my fingers in spots they really did not need to go to at that juncture. We stepped out of the wagon and stretched. About two hundred strides away was the tower. There were at least five or six armed and armored Nords seated around the campfire.

"How do we make sure they're Brigands," asked Serana.

"We're poor lost souls who don't know Skyrim from boo," I suggested. "And we need to know the way to Riften."

"But Val? We don't!" answered Serana who was, and you no doubt guessed, already in character.

So we kind of haphazardly wandered up to the tower and said, "Um, we're kind of lost and maybe you could show us the way?" And they laughed and suggested they would for 100 gold apiece. And we replied that we didn't have that sort of money on us and could they do it out of the kindness of their hearts. And they laughed and said that they had no hearts and if we surrendered all our goods and clothing they might let us live to see tomorrow. And then Serana gave them a very wide and big grin, after making sure she was illumined rather evilly in the firelight, so we could see their faces pale in the realization of just who she was. And then I suggested if they turned and ran right now, only slowest one of them would be eaten. And they made some suggestions along the lines that we really needed to be dying like the blood sucking freaks we no doubt were. And we replied by observing that we thought it would be good to be making the roads safer for families and refugees fleeing the craziness that was Skyrim. It was a good fight, at least from our perspective since we won it rather handily, and Serana got her live feeding which really improved her mood. And with Sofia already having gotten over the worst of the grieving process and getting made love to by the guy who kept sticking with her regardless of how she was behaving, had a considerably better mood as well.

So we rode into Riften that morning, and went shopping for aromatic herbs for Serana's letter to my brother. And while the horses rested and ate, I worked on making a very nice perfume that smelled of roses to scent Serana's letter. She was quite skeptical that roses would do the trick, in spite of the fact that I informed her that Aurelian really loved the smell of roses and all she had to do when they got married was put a bit of this on her before bedtime and he'd nail her to that bed so hard . . . whereupon she shrieked and smacked me rather hard while Sofia rolled on the ground in laughter. Otherwise, I found some buyers for some of the Blackreach loot and dumped a few more hundred septims into Sofia's lap while she was eating her lunch of bread, cheese, and sausage. She then informed me that it was good that we had made so much money because we were out of mead and as we were in Riften, this was the best place to get Black Briar, especially the Reserve. So I went back out shopping for Mead while Serana and Sofia wandered the market place and pretended to be interested in all the Argonian jewelry which was for sale there.

It was a bit after noon that we rolled out of Riften and proceeded down the road towards Iverstead. It was the first time all three of us were seated behind the horses. Serana was sitting on the far right while I was sitting on the far left and Sofia was in the middle being annoyed that Serana would not stand up often enough for her to get mead out of the boot under the seat. I taught them some silly songs, one of which sounded like this.

Ain't we crazy, Ain't we crazy,  
But this is the way we pass the time away.  
Ain't we crazy, Ain't we crazy,  
We're going to sing this song all night today.

Now, I know a little ditty,  
It's as crazy as can be.  
The guy who wrote it said he wanted it,  
And handed it to me.  
I found I couldn't use it  
Because it sounded blue,  
And that's the very reason why,  
I'm handing it to you.

It's a song the alligators sing,  
While coming through the rye,  
As they serenade the elephants,  
Up in the trees so high.  
The miner hums this ditty,  
As he shovels in the air,  
And the monkeys join the chorus,  
Up around the spiral stair.

It was midnight on the ocean,  
Not a wagon was in sight,  
And the sun was shining brightly,  
For it rained all day that night.  
'Twas a summer night in winter,  
And the rain was snowing fast,  
And a barefoot boy with shoes on,  
Stood sitting in the grass.

It was evening, and the rising sun,  
Was setting in the west.  
The little fishes in the trees,  
Were huddled in their nest.  
The rain was pouring down,  
And the moon was shining bright,  
And everything that you could see,  
Was hidden out of sight.

While the organ peeled potatoes,  
Lard was rendered by the choir.  
The sexton rung the dishrag,  
Someone set the shrine on fire.  
"Holy smoke!" The priestess shouted.  
In the rain she lost her hair.  
Now her head resembles heaven,  
For there is no parting there.

The cows were making cowslips,  
And the bells were ringing wet,  
And the bumblebees were making bums.  
And they played a castanet.  
And a man slept in a stable,  
And came out a little hoarse,  
So he hopped upon his golf sticks,  
And drove all around the course.

It was midnight on the ocean,  
Not a horse-cart was in sight,  
As I stepped into the alchemist,  
To get myself a light.  
The man behind the counter,  
Was a woman old and dry,  
Who used to peddle shoestrings,  
On the road to Stros M'kai.

"Good evening, sir," the woman said,  
And her eyes were bright with tears,  
As she put her head beneath her feet,  
And stood that way for years.  
Her children, six, were orphans,  
Except one tiny tot,  
Who lived in a house across the street,  
Above a vacant lot.

Ain't we crazy, Ain't we crazy,  
But this is the way we pass the time away.  
Ain't we crazy, Ain't we crazy,  
We're going to sing this song all night today.

I sometimes wonder what folks thought of us as they passed our wagon rumbling down the road as we sang at the top of our voices and laughed. It was evening when we rolled into Iverstead. We stabled the horses, had a nice meal at the Inn, and retired for the evening in our wagon afterwards.

The next morning it was overcast and there was a light snow falling. But the moment we were all bundled up, I proceeded to check Serana's head.

"Val? What are you doing?" she said somewhat unnerved.

"We will be at the top of the mountain today," I said. "The trail goes all the way up. Sofi's been with me once already."

"So it's the top of a mountain," she replied backing up while I kept trying to adjust her hood. I was trying to pull it out and she didn't see the point. That and the hood really wasn't big enough for what I wanted so I was also trying to remove it and get her another one somewhat bigger. Now you may ask why this was going on at all, but Serana persisted in not catching on that you have to dress a certain fashion when you are out in the cold and if Sofi wasn't adjusting something I was and she had gotten a bit used to it, though she actually was starting to prefer Sofi's handling of the matter. Problem was Sofia was busy with a small mirror trying to treat a small pimple that had shown up on her forehead. And anything which threatened Sofi's image of her perfect beauty took precedence over everything else.

"And when we get to that top, Seri, we will be above the clouds and if you think the sun is bright down here?"

"Oh!" was her response. "Maybe a really wide hat then?"

"Over the hood?" I queried.

"I don't care," She retorted. "Once we leave the village who's going to notice?"

"Once we get to the throat, the Greybeards," I answered.

"Okay, so I take the hat off then," she replied.

"Then when we get to the top, there's Paarthurnax."

"Paarthurnax?"

"A friendly dragon," I replied.

"Val? You expect me to believe that?"

"Well, yes, and he's very affectionate so if he starts licking you with his tongue just accept it okay?"

"What?"

"Not that you will be able to avoid it, it's over ten feet long when extended. He's a big dragon you see."

"Val? That's disgusting, no way would I let him . . ."

"And he wraps it around you so when he pulls it back you might end up dizzy, not to mention facing and entirely new and unanticipated direction."

"VAL!"

"But don't let him pat you on the head too much, you might end up up to your waist deep in the snow when he's done because like most dragons he really doesn't know his own strength."

Sofia's efforts to hold in the laughter produced a very sudden raspberry sounding explosion.

Needless to say we got Serana appropriately hooded and we began the ascent. Since Serana had never taken the steps before, I paused at each of the meditative plagues and read them to her. It was a hard ascent because the snow got more ferocious as we got higher. It was mid-afternoon when we got to the Monastery. Once again I felt the Spirit of the Sky blessing descend upon me. And then, I took off my backpack and put food and drink into the gift chest.

"Valentine!" snapped Sofia. "That was perfectly good Black Briar you put into that chest."

"Um," began Serana looking both at the chest and the large great stone monastery in front of her. "All I have are a dozen blood potions."

"No need Seri," I replied. "They don't want items they can't use."

I turned and proceeded to walk up the stairs, my nerves were on edge. I had to take a serious risk when I would reach the top and do that reading. So I was a bit ticked when I heard Seri say to Sofi, "Put that mead back into the chest, Sofi! And close the lid!"

"Snitch!" retorted Sofia to Serana.

We walked into the Monastery and there we greeted Arngeir. I caught him up to speed and promised that I would let him know what had happened once we got back down, provided I was able to return. Arngeir for his part promised that they would prepare three beds for us when we returned since it would be dark by the time things had settled down. I thanked him for his hospitality and we proceeded up the rest of the trail. Once again I had to avail myself of the clear weather shout to keep visibility and the cold to manageable levels. But finally, as the sun hung low in the western horizon, we were on the top. And there was Paarthurnax seated upon the word wall. He raised his head as he noticed us and Serana started since until he moved, he had almost blended into the rock of the word wall.

"Val!" she shouted.

"That's Paarthurnax," I said. "The friendly dragon I was talking about."

Serana just froze for a second, since of course she now didn't know if she was about to be licked, patted on the head, or both. He flew over and landed with a very audible thump in front of us. As was usual, he put his head right up next to mine.

"You have it," he said. "The Kel, the Elder Scroll."

I nodded and pulled the Dragon Elder Scroll out. "This is it," I said. "It was in the depths of Blackreach but we found it."

"Time shudders at it's touch," said Paarthurnax. "There is no question. You are doom driven. The very bones of the earth are at your disposal. Go then. Fulfill your destiny. Take the scroll to the time wound. Do not delay. Alduin will be coming."

I nodded. I turned to Sofia and Serana.

Serana gave an encouraging nod back. But then she said, "I won't forget the tale you spun before we made this ascent and I'll have my revenge Val." Then she smiled.

"Daughter of Coldharbor," breathed Paarthurnax. "It is good that you are here. Standing with the Dragonborn and defending the world against the tyranny of Alduin. I have a word for you to meditate upon."

"Oh?" said Serana.

"Pruzah, good in your tongue. Tell me Daughter of Coldharbor, which is better, to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"

Serana was silent for a second. "Am I supposed to answer that?" she asked somewhat testily.

"I ask only that you meditate upon it," replied Paarthurnax. "Meditate upon it's meaning and it's truth will unlock within you."

Serana was silent for a moment and then, much to my surprise, she said. "I will."

"Kind of hard saying no to a big dragon when his face is right in front of you," observed Sofia.

The time wound was obvious as a sparkling steam which was rising from a circle. I had not seen that phenomena the first time I had been up here with Sofia. I looked at Paarthurnax.

"It appeared the moment you arrived with the Elder Scroll," he said. "It is one of the reasons why I know this is your doom."

"Well," I muttered. "That's a good reason to have a little hope this will turn out."

"Outside of the suggestion that Alduin will be showing up?" implied Serana.

"You would have to mention that," I sighed.

"It so sucks to be me," sighed Sofia.

I stepped into the middle of the steam and watched the magical sparkles rising in circles around me. I held up the Elder Scroll. I found the edge where I would pull it down to read it. Then I turned to Sofia. "I need something before I do this," I sighed. "And I think you know what it is."

"What? Here? Now?" exclaimed Sofia. "In front of Serana, who I know will freak out if we do, and Paarthurnax? Not to mention it's freezing and we'll be in the snow and my legs are already practically blue and I can't feel my toes and I not near drunk enough and besides . . ."

"Sofi? I'm only asking for a kiss," I suggested.

"Oh!" exclaimed Sofia. "Oh that's okay then."

"What were you thinking of?" queried Serana quite baffled.

"Nothing!" insisted Sofia. "Nothing really I mean it. It was nothing. Nothing at all. Okay?"

She came up and gave me one of her 'tasting my tonsils' kisses and then I simply looked into her face for a moment.

"I want the last thing I see to be your face," I said. "Just in case."

"Well you'll have a nice view to remember then," she replied matter of fact.

I then lifted the Elder Scroll up and saw myself in another time looking through glowing runic and eldritch symbols to a scene where three Nords battled dragons, striking them down one by one. I was impressed at their heroics. Then they had a debate among themselves whether or not the shout would work and one of them produced an Elder Scroll. I suspected I knew which one he had. Then Alduin came and I heard the shout. It's three words burned themselves into my head almost immediately. I did not even know what the words meant, but I knew the shout. Then Alduin staggered, he cried out, and the two chief Nords fell upon him. There was the flashing of blades, the breathing of fire, the rending of claws, the slashing of skin and scale, and then one Nord was dead, the other was crawling away and the third Nord pulled out the Elder Scroll and Alduin was sent forward into time.

Then there was the swirling of eldritch symbols again and everything went completely white. I blinked for a second. Nothing. No sight. Nothing . . . but . . . white.

"Valentine?"

"Val?"

I blinked again.

"What did you see? Valentine? You're . . . You're crying why?"

I blinked again. I could feel my eyelids moving, I could feel the tears course down my cheeks. And then . . . And then . . . There was a fog, and a shape in that fog. A shape with rich full black hair, hazy. A shape of an oval face with two big eyes, blinking. A shape with a mouth open in fear. And then she was in focus.

My Sofia. I could once again gaze upon her.

"Sofi," I gasped. I was almost delirious with joy. "Sofi you are the most beautiful women I think I've ever looked upon."

"Well yes," she agreed. "But are you okay then?"

"I'm fine . . ." I sighed in relief. "In fact I think I've never been better."

"Well the fact that you have been looking at me the entire time has a lot to do with it I'm sure," she suggested. She paused and looked at me. "So . . . What did you see? Do you know the Dragonrend shout then?"

"I think so," I replied.

"That should come in rather handy," suggested Sofia. Then she tilted her head. "Wait a minute. Do you hear something?"

There was a dull roar faint on the wind.

"Oh my (insert crude word for lovemaking here) Kynnareth. I think Alduin heard us," suggested Sofia looking up.

Those sorts of things happen on adventures you see.


	24. Chapter 24 - A Song For Alduin

"Um," queried Serana. "What's a really bad word to say when you're looking at something that's big and black and ugly and thinking it wants to kill you?"

"I just said it," answered Sofia.

"Oh my (repeat said word) Molag Bal," sighed Serana. She sighed as Alduin closed in. "It doesn't really work for me. I guess I don't really understand what it means."

"Take cover!" I screamed throwing up the strongest ward I knew.

"That I do understand!" observed Serana diving behind the nearest boulder.

"Fire Resistance Potions and the Gold Ruby Rings!" I added. This was something we had already understood before we had ascended the Throat of the World. We knew that Alduin would either come for us with fire or frost, so I had made six rings and a bevy of potions for the battle. The gold rings had been enchanted to protect us from fire while the silver rings had been enchanted to protect us from frost. The potions merely added to the protection. I was a firm believer in redundancy when it came to magic.

"Bahloki nahkip sillesejoor! My belly is full of the souls of your fellow mortals Dovahkiin," whispered Alduin as he floated over the mountain top looking rather down on us (given he was flying overhead is one really surprised?). That is the best way to describe his voice at this juncture. I heard every single word, indeed we all heard his words, but there was a soft airy quality to the voice that I had not noticed prior.

"And I have the souls of over thirty dragons in me!" I shouted back. "What's the rate of exchange I wonder?"

Alduin did not answer my question as I suspected he wouldn't. What he said was, "Die now and await your fate in Sovngarde!"

"JOOR! ZAH FRUL!" I suggested.

"Lost funt," said Paarthurnax. "You are too late, Alduin!"

Alduin was too busy falling like a rock to pay much heed.

I let loose a barrage of fireballs while Sofia fired off her firebolts and Serana fired with her bow. She did not close with Alduin . . . No surprise there . . . I suspected she wasn't ready to imbibe Dragon blood. I paused to drink a Magicka potion and Alduin let loose his fire.

"Unslaad hokoran! Never again!" shouted Paarthurnax. "Use Dragonrend!" He continued. "It is the only chance to defeat him!"

"I kind of noticed he responds rather badly to it!" I retorted. Then I ducked for Alduin had 'breathed on me' and it was rather hot where I was standing.

I shouted at him again just was he was taking off and once more he was on the ground.

"Do Nirn a favor and DIE ALREADY!" screamed Sofia.

"Ruth wah nivahriiin joor!" replied Alduin. No I don't know what it means so don't ask. Funny how I have been able to remember the words perfectly even though I have no clue what they mean.

He faced me and got another two handed fireball in the face. Serana was on my left using her Vampiric draining magic and all of a sudden she was shrieking "Oh my! What! Oh the raping Molag Ba-al what is this! Whoa!"

She was getting all giddy and it was almost like she had just downed a bottle of skooma or maybe she was drunk. Apparently Alduin's blood had a rather 'exciting' effect upon her. It might have been funny if it had not been for the fact that Alduin was after all, trying to kill us.

"You may have picked the ancient weapons of my foes," roared Alduin. "But you are not their equal!"

"That's because we are so superior!" retorted Sofia.

Alduin recovered again, and leapt up before I could get off another shout. He shouted and suddenly, it was like I was back in Helgen. The sky was boiling and flaming rocks were falling from the sky. Sofia was freaking out for a moment and Serana was looking up and staggering and I once more faced Alduin and shouted the Dragonrend and again he was plummeting into the ground.

"Hurt him while he's grounded!" cried Paarthurnax.

"Toor Shul!" shouted Alduin as more flaming balls fell from the boiling sky above.

I was letting loose a rapid cadence of fire bolts since my fireballs used too much magicka up for me to maintain a constant fire. Serana charged in from the right while Sofia charged in from the left and we had him in our V. So while the sky was boiling above and flaming rocks were falling we closed in on Alduin knowing that he wouldn't be calling down the apocalypse upon himself. Falling rocks don't care who they land on or who they are hurting.

"Hoot!" shrieked Serana once again employing her Vampiric drain.

"Meyz Mul Dovahkiin," grumbled Alduin. "You have become strong."

I realized we were closing in on him, so now was time for the coup de grace.

It was a double shout I employed. First I shouted the Dragonrend one more time. And then I added another shout a few seconds later once I had recovered.

"DUR! NEH! VIIR!"

"Ha! Ha!" shouted Durnehviir who materialized right on top of Alduin. "Back! I'm back!"

It would have been all very dramatic and exciting if Serana had not taken the opportunity to stagger right into the force of the Dragonrend. She literally was thrown back with the shout, bounced off Alduin's nose, and landed in the snow on her back about five strides from Alduin, who, seeing she was on her back and down for the count choose to concentrate on the very large green glowing dragon which was clawing on his back.

"But I am Al Du In!" He continued. "Firstborn of Akatosh! Mulaagi zok lot! I can not be slain here. By you or anyone else!"

"Oh?" suggested Sofia. "Then why are your scales all over the snow?"

Alduin struggled and with a force of anger, freed himself from Durnehviir's pin and spread his wings.

"You can not prevail against me! I will outlast you . . . mortal!" he continued.

And with that he flew away with Durnehviir happily in pursuit rejoicing in his freedom to fly through the skies of Tamriel all the while giving chase to Alduin. You see, due to the fact that Durnehviir was still metaphysically connected to the Soul Cairn, Alduin couldn't kill him and Durnehviir knew it.

"Damn it," sighed Sofia. "I thought we had him. Still I think he got the message and he left the fight so I guess that makes us the victors . . . kind of. We'll get him though, he's just living on borrowed time."

"Seri?" I said leaning over to look at her. She was staring blankly at the sky. Sofia turned and saw she was still on her back and came over as well. There was something different about her. It took me a second and then I realized what had happened.

"Sofi?" I said. "What do you notice about Serana?"

Sofia looked over at her. "Hey!" she said. "Her eyes are not red any more. They're just normal. What happened?"

Serana blinked again. I took my finger and gently lowered her jaw and ran my fingers over her teeth.

"Her fangs are gone," I mused.

"What? You saying she's cured?"

"I don't know Sofi," I said. She walked right into the shout. It is supposed to make the dragon experience mortality. But if the words are not directly referencing dragons, then anything immortal which received it would . . . experience mortality."

Serana blinked again. She began to focus.

"Val? Sofi?" she whispered. "What happened."

"You've been cured," suggested Sofi. "You're not a vampire any more. How do you feel?"

"Wha? I'm . . . feeling clean. I don't know . . . No no no NO! Oh STOP NO NOT THIS STOP PLEASE OH BY THE GODS NOT THIS! NOT INSIDE! NO! GET OUT OF ME!" And her entire body shuddered and she lurched almost into the air.

"Back up Sofi, NOW!" I shouted.

Sofia didn't need to be told, Serana was acting freaky enough already. Suddenly Serana's eyes began to glow and her mouth opened and we saw two teeth elongate and sharpen. The shout was wearing off and she was experiencing transformation again. She was literally reliving the rape it seemed. Then she looked at me, her face a snarl of fangs and hungry eyes and I knew I was going to be toast if I didn't do something.

"GOING FEREL!" I shouted to Sofia who knew exactly what that meant. We had talked about this prior and the plan was already laid out based on who was facing her when she lost it. Serana charged me and I threw up the most powerful ward I had with both hands which she almost plowed through as she reached for me. She lunged again and went for my hands but as she grabbed them Sofia caught her hair in both her hands from the back.

It's one of those interesting phenomena of physics. If you parry the end of the blade, you can stop it in spite of the force behind the swing since the force moving the tip is at the other end of the blade. It's the same with a human body. If you don't want a pair of teeth to connect with your neck, you grab the hair from the back and even the preternatural strength of the vampire can't override that. Serana could not get to my neck in spite of her efforts because her meticulous braiding of her pigtails meant she would have to pull her head free of all those individual strands of hair. And vampires no more like pain than ordinary humans but likewise are far more susceptible to it than humans. Humans can, by force of will, override the pain and press on. But vampires are more animal and will pull back.

Serana thus was caught in a bind between her blood lust and the pain from Sofia's hand holds in her hair. The hope was we could hold her off until she was able to catch herself and realize what had just happened. But she was exhausting us rapidly.

"Valentine?" queried Sofia, looking both scared and determined.

"Snap out of if Seri! SERI IT'S VAL! GET A GRIP! WE DON'T WANT TO KILL YOU!"

"I know where my knife is!" shouted Sofia. "It's at my waist and if she get's your neck I know what to do!"

"Okay!" I said nodding all the while Serana just snarled and lunged again and again.

Suddenly a pair of dragon teeth very gently nudged Sofia away from Serana and then lifted Serana up by the nap of her collar and left her hanging and snarling about six feet in the air. She thrashed and screamed and clawed and kicked but she was utterly unable to reach Paarthurnax. This continued for a few more moments. Sofia and I looked at each other amazed at the simply sheer unyielding determination she was exhibiting. Paarthurnax just patiently held her up in the air like that and gave me a bemused expression. Or so I presumed. I mean I'd never seen a dragon bemused before so I was going on educated guesses.

"It's getting kind of exhausting just watching her struggle," mused Sofia. "Do you have a blood potion in your backpack? You have mead I figured . . ."

"I wasn't anticipating Serana going feral on us in the middle of the confrontation with Alduin," I sighed. "You?"

"Just mead . . . Well I did have mead . . . It's gone now," sighed Sofia. "You would think walking through cold would not make me thirsty . . ."

"Wait!" I said. "Serana isn't wearing her backpack!"

"Well DUH!" replied Sofia. "We dropped them when we got up here just in case by the word wall so we would know where the magic, healing, fire, and frost resistant potions were . . . And the mead."

"She's just not snapping out of it," I sighed. "This is getting extremely awkward."

"Maybe if you throw her a blood potion she'll be back," suggested Sofia.

"Oh yeah! I was thinking of doing that . . ." I sighed and shook my head. "You know? This would be funny in the right circumstances." I walked over to our backpacks to find the spare blood potions praying to Talos that Serana had not consumed them as fast as Sofia consumed her mead. There were about six in the bottom of her backpack, but they were under some small cloth garments which were a dark color. I picked one up and held it in the sunlight to examine it and discovered it was a very abbreviated pair of light cloth pantaloons or something dyed in a very bright red hue. They were kind of pretty but I couldn't imagine why anyone would wear something this small. Then it dawned on me. They looked very much like the abbreviated underwear which Sofia had worn when I first met her. The ones she had burned up on the road to Kynesgrove. Problem is it took a few more seconds to register in my head what I was holding.

"Put those down you PERVERT" shouted Sofia.

I gave Sofia a blank expression.

"Those are very fine women's underwear," explained Sofia. "You would think you never had seen them before!"

"I hadn't!" I shouted back.

"What?" gasped Sofia incredulous. "You grew up in the Imperial City!"

"You were the first woman I ever laid hands upon," I retorted. "You were the first woman I ever got to undress. I didn't know! You don't wear these!" I pointed to them.

"Well of course I don't!" she retorted. "You won't buy me any!"

"How in Oblivion am I supposed to buy you something I don't know exists?" I replied waving them for emphasis.

Serana was still struggling and screaming and hissing. And Paarthurnax, having the quality of being eternal, was more than patient about the entire thing. No doubt he was more than a little amused.

Sofia paused for a moment to put her head in her hand and shake it. Then she looked back up at me. "I can't believe how naive you can be Valentine." She said. "Just put them back and I prefer mine white. Okay?"

I put them back in Serana's backpack thankful that she was still too feral to know what was going on. I pulled out the blood potions and started placing them at Sofia's feet. There were a total of six. I held one up so Serana could see it and she almost immediately became focused upon that bottle. I took off the cap and she began to claw at it.

"Reach nicely now," I suggested.

She merely screamed, clawed, hissed, and growled.

"Paarthurnax?" I said. "This is going to be a bit delicate until she settles down."

He nodded which joggled Serana a bit.

I gently lifted it to her hands by holding the bottom of the bottle so she could grab the neck. In a flash it was up and she was sucking it down. She emptied it and just dropped it and snarling reached for another. Of course I had to lift it up to her and again she drained it. She paused to pant, and reached for another breathing hard and making little grunting noises. I lifted the third to her and she gulped it down as well. "Gimme!" she snapped. I noted she actually spoke. I lifted the fourth to her. She grabbed it and drained it down. "More!" she demanded. I lifted the fifth. She took it from my hands and drained it as well. Then she looked at me breathing hard but there was the dawn of recognition in her eyes.

"Val?" she asked. "Can I have the last one please?

I exhaled.

"About time you settled down," groaned Sofia.

I gave Serana the last bottle. She took the stopper off, and began to sip it. She savored it, closing her eyes as she took small swigs.

"I think we can let her down now," I suggested.

For a second after Serana was left standing on her feet just looking at us with an expression of horror on her face.

"You could have killed me," she said almost in awe.

"We were in the process of doing it," snapped Sofia. "I was about to get my knife when Paarthurnax pulled your sorry self up into the air and left you to dangle.

"Oh I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I . . . Oh how can you still look at me after I tried to kill you I HATE THIS I HATE MYSELF Oh . . Oh . . Oh . . .," she just buried her face in her hands and kind of punch drunk staggered about in the snow in front of Paarthurnax.

"Give her a hug, Sofi," I suggested.

"No, you give her a hug," snapped Sofia back.

"You'll kick me then," I countered.

"So?" Then she paused. "Oh yeah, I will."

Sofia walked over and wrapped her arms around Serana from the back who after a second of 'I don't deserve anyone caring about me' gestures just settled down and hung her head. Serana just let Sofia hold her for a couple of moments and then with a sigh, seemed to collect herself enough that she was able to, with a smile, turn and kiss Sofia's throat, and then walk away.

I looked over to Paarthurnax who looked first into the sky where Alduin had flown, and then turned back to me. "Lot krongrah," he said. "You truly have the voice of a Dovah. Alduin's allies will think twice after this victory."

I sighed. "It wasn't really a victory in the final sense," I observed. "Since Alduin has flown off, escaped."

"Ni liivrah hin moro. True, this is not the final krongrah - victory. But not even the heroes of old were able to defeat Alduin in open battle."

"Then what's the point of even fighting?" complained Sofia.

"Alduin always was pahlok - arrogant in his power. Uznahgar paar. He took domination as his birthright."

"Yeah so?" continued Sofia.

"Wait a moment Sofi," I said holding up my hand.

"This should shake the loyalty of the dov who serve him," concluded Paarthurnax.

"A few more defeats then might break any grip he has on his allies," I mused. "And that buys us time at least to figure out how to kill him permanently. I need to find out where Alduin went. Where he retreats to in order to lick his wounds and recover."

"Yes . . . One of his allies could tell us. Motmahus . . . But it will not be so easy to . . . convince one of them to betray him."

"Bribery," suggested Sofia. "There's got to be something dragons can't resist."

"What if it's eating cheeky girls?" queried Serana.

"Then we find one," replied Sofia. "Simple enough. Skyrim is packed with them I'm thinking . . . Seri why are you looking at me that way?"

"Perhaps the hofkahgsejun - the palace in Whiterun . . . Dragonsreach. It was originally built to house a captive Dovah."

"It was?" Serana was stunned to discover that little factoid. But then again, she had been asleep for over 1,000 years.

"A fine place to trap one of Alduin's allies, hmm?" suggested Paarthurnax.

"So we walk up to Jarl Balgruuf and say, 'Hey Jarl, can we borrow your palace?' and he says, 'sure what for' and we say, 'to trap a dragon' and he says, 'come again?' and I flutter my eyelashes and he says . . ." began Sofia, her sarcasm beginning to bubble.

"What she said," I added. "The Jarl of Whiterun might not think so."

"Hmm, yes," mused Paarthurnax. "But your su'um is strong. I do not doubt that you can convince him of the need. And yes, Daughter of Coldharbor, Dragonsreach was so built. This was ages ago, you understand. There were more of us then. Before the bruniikke - the Akaviri - came and killed all my zeymah." Paarthurnax got quiet for a moment. "I used to visit him from time to time. Nearly crazed by loneliness and captivity. Tiiraz sivaas. He did not even remember his own name. I do not know how he came to be caught. But the bronjun . . . the Jarl . . . was very proud of his pet. Paak! The hofkahgsejun has been known as Dragonsreach ever since."

We gave our farewells to Paarthurnax and headed down the trail.

"He really was a friendly dragon," sighed Serana as we carefully stepped down the snowy trail around the occasional troll corpse or ice wraith spike. "I'd say I was glad he didn't lick me like you had threatened but given what happened afterwards . . ." she got silent for a bit.

"Safety rule addition," I suggested. "Seri is not allowed to walk in front of Val's Dragonrend shout."

"I never would have done that if I wasn't all goofy from Alduin's dragon blood," she sighed. "There was something about it which made me all. . . well happy and silly and I was really feeling good and kind of super relaxed and loose if you know what I mean."

"She got DRUNK!" squealed Sofia. "Dragon blood makes Seri drunk!"

Serana seemed to think for a moment. "Yeah I guess that must be it. I never have put the drain on a dragon before because we normally fight them from the air. They only come down at the end."

"Safety rule addition," I continued. "Seri is not allowed to sip dragon blood, especially from a live dragon."

Serana sighed. I suspect it had to do with the fact that she could not safely derive blood from a dragon while fighting. She had been given a little taste of what mead did to Sofia and then had that denied her.

"What's next on the schedule?" asked Sofia. "Now that we've gotten the time wound taken care of are we going to ancestor grove?"

"Jarl Balgruuf is on the way, so we're going there first," I replied.

"Whiterun then? I don't suppose Seri would be willing to . . ."

"Are you suggesting I do something with Lydia that will annoy Val?" queried Serana.

"Well I was thinking . . ."

"No," replied Serana.

"You haven't heard what I was suggesting yet . . ."

"I don't have to. I've heard enough about your suggestions about what to do with Jordis and Lydia in the past to know what you are thinking and right about now? I don't want to even play like I would around you two."

Sofia sighed.

We reached the monastery and slept there that night. About half way through the night Sofia had a nightmare. She wouldn't tell me what it was about, but she pretty much clung to me the rest of the night and I didn't get much sleep as a consequence. As it was, I was still playing over and over Serana's feral snarl as she had pushed towards my throat. I was angry, annoyed, terrified, and wondering if it would just be smart to kill her and get it over with. But then I remembered her screams just before the transformation. Would killing her really be the best option for her? Was killing someone because they were in a rotten situation ever an option? I began to think about it. Rotten situation? By who's standards? How do you know they are miserable? Are you them? Yes, I heard people say time out of mind, especially in the Imperial circles, 'If I ever ended up without a leg I want the doctor to kill me' or 'if I ever get blind', and so on, but you know? I never ran into a soldier who had lost his leg that wanted to die. Not even the blind beggar begged for death. The only example I had of someone who was looking for death was an older orc who was waiting for a good death according to the teachings of Malacath, but he was still in the prime of strength and not had the slightest hint of feeble or cripple about him. In fact, there were a collection of big cats and bears that he had killed while waiting for his 'good death'. Apparently a good death for him was to go down fighting. Once I realized that while talking with him, I suggested that he join the wars and lead the charges. He thought about it and nodded and agreed it would normally be a good idea, but Malacath had given him instructions and he was going to follow them. I wasn't going to dispute supernatural instructions even though I didn't think that highly of Malacath. He was after all, a Daedra. Not the most annoying of them, or evil, but just the same, he was a bit darker than Azura or Meridia. Needless to say I did not give him his good death. Eventually I passed that way and he was no longer there. Wasn't sure what had happened to him. Orcs are a curious Mer. I asked Sofia afterwards what she had thought about the conversation and she replied that if had I been stupid enough to challenge that Orc she would have just sat on a rock and drunk mead waiting for me to get clobbered. I observed that she was always looking for an excuse to drink mead and she got cheeky after that and we had a fight as a result.

No surprise there.

In the end I realized that the problem with killing someone to put them out of their misery, call it mercy killing, was simply too superficial to be a wise policy. Not to mention fraught with tyrannical abuse. One man's pain is another man's challenge to overcome and none of us are the person in pain. And while there moments when the pain seems so great that we will wish that death would just end it, those moments tend to be rather fleeting, say, five minutes at most? In the end, you're not the one killing yourself, its someone else killing you, and according to their standards and schedules and not yours. I was an Imperial, I did not even want to begin to imagine how the Thalmor would interpret such a policy should they start applying it to the Imperial City. And I suspected the Argonians on the docks of Windhelm would not find it a beneficial policy either, not to mention the Dunmer in the Grey Quarter. Well, I could be thankful then if the Thalmor ever did conquer, I would be secure knowing that not even the Thalmor would implement such a policy and likewise Ulfric seemed totally oblivious to the idea that he could just put the Dunmer and Argonians out of their misery. This world was not as bad as it could be.

So the next question in my mind was this. If I Sofia and I had killed Serana during her feral phase, would it have been murder? I looked at the top of Sofia's head for a moment, looking at all that black hair and listening to her slightly shaky breathing. She still had not settled down from the nightmare. She shifted herself a little so that her head might rest a bit more on my chest and shoulder. I remembered one superficial woman at an Imperial party demanding an apology from one of the Generals who had fought in the great war. She did not demand an apology for the fact that we didn't win it, she was demanding an apology for the fact that he had fought in it to begin with. There were more than a few suggestions that she was a spy for the Thalmor and she shot back that they were just as barbaric as the general because they had been fighting and killing as well.

"War is not the answer!" she had imperiously proclaimed.

"To what question?" shot my father back. Man I was so proud of him at that moment. "What is the question you are asking?" He continued. She looked at him blankly. "What are we having for dinner? Well yes, war is definitely not the answer."

"Can you even fit it on a dinner plate?" added the General who was grateful that someone was actually sticking up for him.

"But what are we going to do with that army of Thalmor who marched across the borders?" continued my father. "Do you honestly think that they would have just marched to the Imperial City, tramped through it's streets, shopped in the stores, bought a few souvenir sketches from the street artists, and gone home after taking the White Gold Tower Tour?"

There were a few chuckles.

"They never would have attacked if they hadn't been afraid of our army!" she shot back.

"So if we had disarmed they would have too?" asked the General looking at her with a rather condescending gaze.

"Well of course," she replied.

"And you are quite sure it was the Thalmor who were afraid of us and not us afraid of the Thalmor," he continued. "We clearly built our army to tyrannize the Thalmor and they built their army to prevent us from tyrannizing them."

"Yes," She persisted.

"So explain why we had an army in place before the Thalmor ever were a political power in Summerset." He continued. "In fact can you explain why there have been armies around for the past 4,000 years? Who decided to build the first army to tyrannize given that the first army was around long before there was an Empire? Has the Empire been nothing but a tyrant for the past how many millennia? Was that the whole point of building the Empire in the first place?"

She spluttered for a second. It was clear she had never been challenged before.

"I'll tell you," he continued. "The first army was built in response to tyranny, that of the dragons. We built the first army to fight off the dragons."

"That's just myth!" she stormed.

"Well then why did someone build an army then?" He persisted.

"To be tyrants!" she insisted. I got the impression she had just thought of that.

"So the first army was built in order to bully everyone else, and every army since then has been built to stop being bullied? Or are all armies tyrannical?"

"All armies!" she insisted.

"Even the Thalmor?"

"Yes! Even the Thalmor."

"But you just said that the Thalmor attacked us with their army because they were afraid of us attacking them!"

"Yes!"

"But they built the army to be tyrants," he continued quietly. We were all grinning. She was just digging herself in deeper. "So can't a case be made that they built their army to attack us in order to tyrannize us and our army was built because we were afraid of them?"

"No, they built their army because they were afraid of us and they attacked us for the same reason."

"But you just said they built the army to be tyrants."

At this point she just spluttered and stormed out of the room.

I smiled remembering the event. I was a young lad then in my teens and it was one of my pivotal moments thought I did not realize it then. It gave me an understanding of what violence was and why it was at times necessary. We had dragons. We had vampires. And even if we had never had those, there were still necromancers, thieves, and brigands. There were assassins. In short, take away all the supernatural perils that haunted our dreams and waking moments, and there still was the need to carry a dagger and know a firebolt spell.

Killing Serana this afternoon would have been a sad event. A woman, trapped in a horrible curse, killed before she could defeat it. Killed perhaps before she even knew it was a curse. But she had no right to kill me. And if killing her was the only option Sofia and I had to stay alive, then yes, it would have been the only sensible answer. And what was war but a greater threat and a greater level of violence? When Sofia, Serana, and I were set upon by other vampires, we fought what that General would have called an engagement. And we fought those little miniature battles every time we were set upon by dragons, necromancers, or any other enemy. Seriously now, what was the difference between a patrol of Stormcloaks attacking us or a band of brigands? Only two. The Stormcloaks would have a uniform on so we would know who they were and they were there because they had been ordered to be there by their superior officer. At least if we saw them first, we would have the option of going somewhere else. Brigands were not so polite.

I was fighting a war with Alduin. He was sending his army of Dragons onto all of Tamriel. He was doing so in order to reassert draconic dominance over the whole of the world. And he gained his strength by the consumption of human souls who had died and gone on. He was a threat not only to the living, but to the dead even. No wonder they suspected that woman was a Thalmor spy way back at that dinner party in the Imperial City once upon a time when I was young and not in love with a woman who was now finally breathing steadily upon my chest. Her irrational disdain of those who risked their lives to defend her liberty was very much giving the Thalmor a very slight, but still present, advantage. Would her children have been in the army? What would she be saying today? Would she be denying the dragon threat like my mother had? I sighed.

Yeah, violence was bad, but it was the only thing the violent understood. When your foe can only understand that fighting you will bring more pain to him than to you, then that's the only tool you have to keep him from inflicting pain upon you. Yes, Serana's vampirism was bad, but she still had a fighting chance which she would lose the moment she crumbled into dust.

It was good that we had not killed her today. But if we had, it wouldn't have been bad, just sad. I could feel the warmth of Sofia's body on my hand. It was good she was alive and not a vampire. I paused a second to note that I was feeling a little sleepy, and then, I suddenly found myself awake in the morning.

We said goodbye to the Greybeards which was for the most part a quiet affair since only Arngeir said anything while the three other monks just smiled nicely. I told him the whole story of the event and he seemed to think on it for a moment. The Greybeards made pacifism their ideology. But unlike that woman back at that party in the Imperial City, they did not seek to impose it upon the whole world. I was not condemned for using Dragonrend. For now Arngeir understood that my efforts had saved them from having to make the decision of using their voice to defend themselves against Alduin (an action which would have been ultimately futile). But even so, they would remain the pacifist movement. And you know? That wasn't bad. Skyrim respected them, and because Skyrim respected them they were safe. But should that ever change? The Greybeards would be doomed. But until then? Well I had no idea just how important that pacifism would be in the near future. It is somewhat ironic that Skyrim was saved by pacifists in part who, because they would not fight Alduin with violence, made the violent defeat of Alduin possible.

But that was still a few days or so into the future when we walked down the stairs and headed towards Iverstead.

Both Sofia and Serana, being the little pleasure piggies that they were, were more than happy to hop back into the wagon. Sofia started the stove fire and warmed up the inside while Serana said hello to the horses and didn't get back until early morning. She slept in the coffin the whole trip back to Whiterun while Sofia and I drove the wagon. Efforts to get Sofia to tell me about her nightmare ended in futility. She insisted it was nothing important and then claimed she had forgotten anyway.

"If you had forgotten, how do you know it wasn't important?" I retorted.

"Don't you DARE get logical on me," was her demand.

And so it was the late afternoon of Turdas, the 8th of Morning Star that we rode the wagon up to Breezehome. I sent a message to Irileth asking if I might speak with Jarl Balgruuf in the morning and she replied later that evening that I could. Lydia caught us up on all the news that had happened in Whiterun since we had last been there, five weeks prior. We slept in the master bedroom while Serana hung around downstairs and read books. Then later she went out for a walk and apparently chatted with some of the Whiterun guards who were keeping an eye out for any trouble on the walls. She came the next morning with news of both Stormcloak and Vampire raids.

And so that morning, with the sun still low in the sky, but the dawn's early light now fully absorbed by the silver glare of the winter's sun, we walked up to Dragonsreach to ask Jarl Balgruuf if we might trap a dragon in his bedroom and keep it under his throne for a few days.

"This city is so open," sighed Serana as she began to squint down the streets. We passed the new Gildergreen tree, it's pink petaled flowers had long since fallen off for the winter, but as a small sapling, it was looking decent enough. If it hadn't been for that pilgrim, we might have gotten into more than a little trouble at the shrine we had gone to. Our mission had been simple enough, get a pseudo ebony dagger named Nettlebane from a rather annoying Hagraven and her disciples north of the smoking ruin of Helgen, take it to the Eldergleam Shrine, extract sap, and use that sap to restore the old Gildergreen tree. Apparently Nettlebane was a rather bad weapon to do this with, which was rather ironic since Nettlebane was a rotten weapon to begin with in terms of actual function. So the pilgrim had prayed to Kynnareth who had caused a small sapling to spring up right in front of us. The Gods are like that you know, never know when they're going to pop up and do something. Thus I was able to accomplish the mission for the temple without being 'a man of violence' as the pilgrim had put it. I can't remember his name, the next time I went to the Eldergleam Sanctuary, he was not there any more. Sofia was with me of course, she drank mead most of the way back to Whiterun with the sapling and was more than a little drunk when we got to town. While I went to the temple, she had gone to the tavern, lost her clothes, flirted with a couple of guards, started a fight between four of them, and in short, needed to be hauled out over my shoulder when I returned from the temple after a good long chat with the priestess on the songs and tunes used for the worship of Kynareth in that part of Skyrim. I can't recall exactly when this had happened, we did a lot of adventuring prior to our waking up married in Markarth.

"Well this is going to be fun. I'm sure you'll have no trouble convincing the jarl to let you lure a dragon into his city, potentially killing everyone or possibly ruining his beloved palace," chatted Sofia gaily. "I have faith in you though. I mean, you got me standing next to you. How can you possibly fail?"

"Your faith in Val is . . . well I will leave it at that as I have no words to describe it." answered Serana.

"Well naturally, how can you adequately describe me without selling me short anyway? I will admit Valentine tries really hard and almost achieves it some times."

We entered Dragonsreach, walked up pass the great long tables and respectfully stopped ten paces from where the Jarl was seated with his court about him.

"Good morning, my Jarl," I started. I was after all, a thane in the city.

"Good day to you . . . Dragonborn," replied Jarl Balgruuf. I always found it odd that as one of the most popular and powerful Jarls in all of Skyrim, he was also the most awed by the fact that I was Dragonborn. But then again, it was not like it was with Jarl Elisif who was at all our parties and gotten to know us enough to comprehend the fact that we were ordinary people. Jarl Balgruuf was in Whiterun of which we only passed through on our way to some place else, either Solitude, or not Solitude.

I need a great favor to ask of you my Jarl," I began. "I need help which only you are able to grant me."

"What is it Dragonborn?" He said. He was already prepared to say yes but he was wise enough to know that I needed to tell him what first before he opened his mouth and got himself into it.

"I need to trap a dragon in your palace," I said. I kind of grinned in a nervous fashion. "Like Olaf One-eye did so long ago."

"I must of misheard you," he began as the rest of the court began the classic open mouth expression which comes when someone says something utterly insane. "I thought you asked me to help you trap a dragon in my palace."

"No," suggested Sofia. "You heard Valentine right."

"What you are asking for insane," observed the Jarl. "Impossible! You want me to let a dragon into the heart of my city with the threat of war on my doorstep?"

"Here's the problem," I said. "We faced Alduin, who has returned, on the top of the Throat of the World and drove him back. But he has gone to ground and we don't know where he's gone to recover. That means he'll be back. As you know he consumes the souls of Sovngarde for his strength. If we don't stop him, we're all doomed in the long run."

"Alduin," groaned Jarl Balgruuf while terrified jabbering filled the hall. "The world eater himself! But but . . . How can we fight him? Doesn't his return mean it's the end times?"

"Only if we give up is it hopeless," I said. "It is a sign of the end of the world yes, and all worlds come to an end. But . . ." and here I began to gesticulate and pace facing each person in the entire court as I moved in a small circle. " . . . Only if we are to let evil triumph. If evil wins, if Alduin is victorious, then yes, it's the end of the world. But, the Gods have no intention of letting the world end by the triumph of evil. These warnings we have received from our myths and lore and the Elder Scrolls in particular are designed not to cause us to huddle in a hole and whimper waiting for the end, but rather to rise up and resist! Which would you prefer? And end of the world with the triumph of evil? Or an end of the world with a triumph of good? The triumph of good is far into the future yes and it ends with the complete defeat of evil. But such is the design of all of Nirn that in every age there is a threat which, if good does not address, evil wins and destroys the whole world. My last name, Florian, commemorates the last great threat, the Oblivion Crises. The gods have given us a Dragonborn to face and defeat Alduin now. That's me, for better or worse, and my companions, Sofia and Serana who's love," and here I gestured to Sofia, "and support," and here I gestured to Serana, "has enabled me to get this far."

Serana bowed her head and turned away. She was no doubt recalling her feral moment on the top of the Throat. But the audience was, I suspect, interpreting that as self-consciousness in the face of high praise. As for Sofia? Well she naturally assumed she was supposed to receive high praise and so she had a rather 'well of course I'm great' expression upon her face.

"I don't know about such things," sighed the Jarl. "But I heard the Greybeards summon you. That's good enough for me." Then he paused and thought. "Now what's this nonsense about trapping a dragon in my palace?"

His common sense was in full revolt. Not that I could honestly blame him.

"If we can force one of his allies to betray his hideout, we'll be able to corner him and bring him down and we all are safe. That requires us to capture a dragon ally of his. And Dragonsreach was built to hold a dragon. Thus we should, in theory, have all we need here already, or at least reparable. It's the only way the Greybeards and I have concluded we can stop the dragons," I explained.

"I want to help you Dragonborn," he said. "And I will. But I need your help first."

I nodded. This was pretty much par for the course with Jarl Balgruuf. He never did anything without some form of service rendered first. His reward was always greater in proportion to the service rendered, in so far as he could give it, but it gave him the political means to justify his acts of service. I was raised in the Imperial City, I had rubbed elbows with the councilors and their families. I knew the game. There's always someone scheming to supplant someone else."

"Ulfric and General Tullius are both just waiting for me to make a wrong move," he grumbled. "Do you think they will sit idle while a dragon is slaughtering my men and burning my city?"

"Hopefully it won't come to that," I agreed. "But we have to take that risk into account. I understand your concern. What do you need me to do in order to give you the surety needed to assist me?"

I could feel tension in the hall disperse. What can I say? I'm an Imperial you know. We have this persuasive ability which comes from being able to understand where the other side's legitimate concerns are to be found.

"I can't risk weakening my city while we are under the threat of enemy attack. I'm sorry."

"So who do you want us to kill? Ulfric or Tullius?" queried Sofia. "Or do we get to kill both of them?"

"I don't think that's going to solve this," I suggested a bit more loudly than perhaps necessary, but given that suggestions and debate between which of the two most deserved the shiv were popping up in the hall I needed to deflect that line of reasoning quickly. If I didn't, then spies would be reporting matters on where I and my two girls were going to be heading with murder in our eyes.

"There is more than one way to secure Whiterun from an enemy attack. Is it safe to presume that if Whiterun is safe from attack by either Stormcloaks or The Empire then you would be willing to help?" I asked Jarl Balgruuf.

"Then . . ." He began quietly and cautiously. He was needing to muster up his courage. "I . . . would be glad to help you with your mad dragon trapping scheme."

I chuckled. "It does sound rather preposterous on the surface," I agreed.

"My Jarl," began Serana. She was looking quite intently at him. I didn't know if she was trying to enthrall him or if she was just driven. "I've been with Valentine and Sofia now for nearly two months. In that time, we have fought and defeated four dragons. One has sworn fealty to him, one has fled, and two are dead. He has taken me to Oblivion and back. He has most importantly, given me a fighting chance to live. He will trap this dragon. You have the word of a Volkihar."

"This is my Valentine we're talking about," added Sofia, not to be out staged by anyone, least of all Serana. "He does the impossible just before breakfast, and then afterwards he scratches my back and all those really . . ."

Serana cleared her throat and Sofia stopped, held her mouth opened for a moment, then it dawned on her that she was running her mouth again. It snapped shut so fast you could have sworn she was biting down on a mead bottle.

"But getting both sides to agree to a truce . . . It would be difficult at this point. But . . ." he seemed to think. "If the Greybeards were willing to host a peace conference . . ."

"Yes!" I said.

"Both sides would have to come," continued the Jarl. "Neither could refuse without all of Skyrim siding with the opposite side."

"It would work," I mused. "And I just might be able to persuade them."

"You'll have to," suggested Jarl Balgruuf. "It's the only way I can assist you."

I nodded. "We'll be back when we have the time table for the conference," I concluded. I bowed respectfully and we turned and headed back down the hall while the talking behind us increased in both intensity and volume.

"A peace council huh?" began Sofia, her cheek starting to manifest itself. "Well that sounds like it's going to be very peaceful with the Legion and the Stormcloaks. Let's hope war doesn't break out in High Hrothgar. Ah, who am I kidding, I would love to see that, especially when the Greybeards get angry and start shouting."

"Does that mean you'll be back up on my back then?" I queried. "Like the last time they started to shout?"

"Oh yeah, I guess I will. But you know me, I like being on top of you so it's okay . . . Valentine? Why are you looking at me that way?"

"Oh I'm just admiring your beautiful features, those big blue eyes of yours with those long black lashes, the cute cinnamon freckles you have on the top of your cheeks, and that cute little pink lipped mouth of yours . . ."

Serana began to giggle. "I just got it," she said.

"What! What? What are the two of you grinning about? Is it something dirty minded again? I swear you two are the biggest perverts I've ever known . . ."

And so our adventure took a new turn.


	25. Chapter 25 - A Song For Peaceful Moths

"I've always wondered," mused Sofia as we walked out of Dragonsreach and passed the entryway to the Halls of the Dead, "Since when people die they take their final form as they were when they died. If you die naked does your spirit remain naked? I can't say I fancy roaming around either in Sovngarde or as a ghost without any clothes on. Well at least not all the time."

"You're asking me?" I queried.

"Not really," replied Sofia. "I was just wondering."

"Quite frankly I don't worry about it," I finished. "I figure the Gods have got it all planned out in a very satisfactory manner and I will have no issues with it when it happens."

"How can you be so certain?"

"Hey, they're the Gods, they know things we don't," I replied. "You just have to trust those more powerful than yourselves until presented with compelling evidence that you can't. It's called having faith. I have faith that Jarl Balgruuf will keep his word when we get this peace conference going because if I can't trust him, the world comes to an end, or we are forced to figure out another way to get Alduin. In the end, it always comes down to having faith in someone or some deity bigger and more powerful than you."

We headed across the waterway towards the stairs which led to the Gildergreen by the Temple of Kynnareth.

"So now to the Ancestor Glade," mused Serana. "I hope this works. If this turns out to be a wasted trip, your friend Dexion and I are going to have some words."

Words? She was going to have words? It was nice to see the old Serana back firmly in charge but just the same, to hear a vampire threatening to 'have a talk' with someone carried a certain level of humor with it that caused me to grin.

"What are you smiling about Valentine?" queried Sofia.

"Outside of imagining you in Sovngarde naked?" I replied.

"Well of course, but was that the only reason?" she continued.

"You filthy slutty tramp!" began another woman's voice. "So who's home are you planning on wreaking this time?"

"Um," I suggested to Sofia who was decidedly not looking in the direction of the voice and had a rather 'here we go again' expression of discouragement upon her features. I mean in one sense I couldn't blame her. But likewise she had shown precious little comprehension in the past few months of what it would take for these sorts of things to stop happening to her.

"I thought you had been smart and run away, but thank the Gods you're a stupid tramp and not some clever courtesan! Guard! There's the woman I was reporting about last summer at the end of Last Seed. Arrest her!"

The guard looked at us. Serana looked at me. I looked at Sofia. She turned and faced the guard and her mouth was off like a shot. "Wait, can't we talk about this!? I didn't know what I was doing. It was the men at the tavern, they kept buying me drinks and I don't remember a thing. You look like a handsome man . . . er I think . . . I can't tell with the helmet, but I'm sure we can work something out."

"Come on!" groused the guard.

"Valentine you're not going to let him . . ." began Sofia looking at me pleading.

"I'll do what I can the moment I can, Sofi," I said with a sigh. "But first you have to remember who your husband is."

"But but!" and with that the guard hauled her off towards the cell.

"You could have told them you were thane of Whiterun," suggested Serana.

"I'm thane, but Sofia is not. And besides," I replied. "She tried to avoid the arrest by suggesting she was free and single to that guy."

"Oh that's right," sighed Serana. "She kind of hurt you then didn't she?"

"Yeah," I said.

"So you make her wait a little so she can think about what she said. And then what?" asked Serana.

"We take a nice walk around Whiterun, and then we show up in the dungeon of Dragonsreach," I replied. "And you tell me if Aurelian has sent you any letters back."

"He did," she replied with an excited smile on her features as we commenced with our little walk.

"What did he say?"

"He talked about the weather in the Imperial City, how your mother is now free, and how your father is trying very quietly to deflect her political scheming to make you Emperor."

"He talked about the weather and all those things and not a bit about you and him?"

"If he did I'm sure I didn't notice," she replied politely.

"Why don't I believe that?"

"Probably because you know him too well and have gotten to know me a bit too."

"So why don't you say something along the lines of, 'It's none of your business Val'?"

"Because it's more fun to play coy with you," she replied.

"Oh well," I sighed. "I guess I just have to wonder." We walked on in silence for a moment.

"Val?" she began somewhat hesitantly. "He said he was glad I wasn't a vampire like my father."

I was quiet for a moment.

"What am I going to do? I don't want to lie or deceive him. But . . . This is the first guy I really have had this sort of attraction to. I don't want this to end."

I remained quiet as we walked along the wall.

"Is it possible that maybe, once we get to know each other better and become more attracted to each other he'll decide us is more important than his distaste for . . ."

"He won't get close enough to you for that to happen, Seri. He's in the process now of testing you to see who you are and how you are going to be in the long run. Sooner or later he'll note you are hiding that from him and then he'll press harder to make sure. And once he knows, it's over. He'll be discouraged a bit I'm sure, but this is how he has always been. It's one of the reasons why he's still single actually. I was a bit more quick on the mark because, well to be frank, Sofi was the first beautiful woman who showed a desire to come and be with me regardless of where I went and I didn't care that she was a perpetual source of pain and anguish. Aurelian would have dumped her by the end of the first week. If I had done it like him, it would have saved me a lot of annoyance, but I'll be frank Serana, I can't see myself with anyone else really. She's just too much a part of me now. We've gone through so much together I don't want us to end."

"Val! I don't want what's happening with me and Aurelian to end either. I like him a lot!"

"I know you do, Seri. You're going to have to make a decision. If you remain a vampire, you're going to have to tell him eventually and then he'll break it off."

"After all the pain and torment I suffered. I have to give up the one thing that makes it at least tolerable? Damn it, Val! I don't feel like getting old and dying just so I can have a nice guy to be with for a handful of years!"

"Then fess up," I suggested. "Tell him that you are a vampire and while you like him very much and would love a relationship with him, if that is what he wants, then you care enough about him to understand that his happiness is the most important and . . ."

"What about MY happiness!"

"If you're staking your happiness on a relationship with Aurelian," I said. "Then vampire or mortal you're going to end up very miserable indeed. You need to find happiness in the whole of your life, not just one little bit."

"Damn it Val, it's not just about him, it's about everything that comes with him, a home, security, family to be with . . ."

"But no children," I said. "He wants children, Serana."

She was quiet for a moment.

"And besides," I continued. "Even if he decided that he loved you so much it didn't matter that you were a vampire, he'd still grow old and die in a handful of years. And Seri?" I turned to her and once again looked in to her eyes. She was having a hard time meeting my gaze. "You went feral on us and if we hadn't planned on that possibility, you would have come to afterwards with us dead and at your feet with your fang marks in us or you would have felt the sharp blade of a knife across your throat and then you would have been in Coldharbor forever. You think you can't do that with him?"

She shook violently for a moment. Then turned and ran to the wall and just tried to bury her face into it. I walked over and put my arms around her from the back and pulled her up and let her feel the warmth. As it is with reptiles, it calmed her.

"Life is filled with some very hard choices Seri," I said. "Sofi had to make a hard one too just a few months ago. And she fought it to the very end. She was determined to not make it. And she still bucks it routinely and I'll be the first to tell you it hurts like Oblivion itself when she kicks against it."

"Then why do you stick with her? Why not just give me your throat and we run off and beat father together and live eternally?"

"Do you really want that?" I asked. "Do you really want the two of us to hurt Sofi like that?"

She practically jumped out of my arms and turned to face me and violently shook her head.

"She's my friend. I can't do that to one of my only friends," she paused for a second. "I'm sorry Val . . . You and Aurelian. There's so much in the two of you that's alike. I guess that's why I quickly started liking your father too. You're right. I guess that's what happens when you start to really like the brother of a good friend."

I waited. I had a suspicion that she was about to make a discovery about herself.

"It's your father isn't it?" she seemed to think. "He loves you and Aurelian. He loves you both. And his love rubbed off on you and Aurelian. And that's why I like the two of you. My father wasn't so loving. But your's is. And I want some of that."

I nodded.

"Val? Are you sure you can bring my father back?" It was a question phrased with a tone of desperate hope.

"No Seri, I'm not. But I'm going to do the best I can."

"If . . . If you can bring him back then maybe I won't have to make the hard choices," she mused to herself.

Well that put me into a bind. But when in doubt, keep your word. You never know how doing good will turn out, but likewise, you can be pretty sure doing bad will screw things up way more than you had hoped they would not. Just the same, I was not a little irritated. I exhaled.

"If Sofi isn't driving you crazy, I am. Is that it?" she queried, being rather observant as usual. A small smile was playing across her lips.

"Women," I sighed.

She lightly laughed. "Poor baby, how you must suffer being surrounded by two beautiful women one of whom tries to make love to you routinely."

I paused to sing an old Leyawin song of those who suffer on the warm tropical shores of southern Cyrodiil and we reached the dungeon of Dragonsreach and went down to the cells where Sofia was being held. She was looking out of the bars at us. The first thing I noticed was that she was not being belligerent. I wasn't sure about this at first, but it was possible that she had thought it out and realized that my only options were to let them take her. But then again, that fierce loyalty of hers, and the fact that she knew I would come to get her out.

"Over here!" she loudly whispered as we were approaching. "Get me out. Either try to pick the lock or grab the guard's key but hurry."

"Sofi," I replied back in a low voice. "First of all, I'm rather annoyed because you suggested you were willing to sleep with the guard who took you to prison." I waited for that to sink in.

"I'm sorry," she whined. "I wasn't thinking I was just trying to . . . get out of it?"

"Second of all," I continued. "We can pay the fine and have it done."

"What?" Her transition from meek and humble to confrontational and territorial was so fast it would have left me gasping for air if it had been anyone other than Sofia. "That's money we killed hard to get and I want to spend it on mead, some of it. The rest I want to give to you so you can buy more mead for your backpack."

"Oh come on Sofi," I continued. "How bad can a fine for wreaking a home be? It's not even a thousand for killing someone. We can afford that. Let's do this legal okay?"

She slapped the bars in frustration. It was clear she did not like being in prison, but she also hated the idea of paying the fine. I signaled Serana to stay with Sofia while I walked over to the captain's office and offered to pay the fine. His reply was cordial and somewhat unsettling. It wasn't that he wasn't willing to let me pay the fine for Sofia, it was that he insisted that the fine was 50,000. I knew that was outrageous and said so. He informed me that if I was not willing to pay the fine, then perhaps I should sit in the jail cell as well. I replied that first, I was a Thane of Whiterun and second I had committed no crime. His response was that as I was also a Stormcloak, I was no doubt a traitor like the Greymanes. How he had found out that was a bit of a mystery to me but there was no point in trying to find out why he knew just yet. By this point my voice was reaching a particular timbre of annoyance which had the problematic effect of drawing close to two dozen other guards and I realized that I could not fight my way out of this. The upshot was that myself and Sofia and Serana ended up in the jail cell.

"Why Serana?" I argued. "She's done nothing either."

"Oh yeah?" replied the Captain. "How about Vampirism?"

"What?" I shot back. "What is your evidence for that?" Okay granted it was a dumb demand given she was what he was accusing her of. But I wanted to know how he knew.

He smiled, pulled out a small vial of liquid, and tossed a splash of it into the cell where it hit the three of us. Serana shrieked and I swore I could see a bit of steam or smoke rise from her skin. There was a smell of burning flesh in the cell. "Old Thalmor magic," he bragged. "Just the sort of thing which Elenwen would provide her friends. You're wanted by the Thalmor. They do their homework. And you're a long way from Solitude. And if the Jarl of Whiterun doesn't find out? Well what he doesn't know won't hurt him. He thinks you're on your way to talk to the Greycloaks, and start a peace conference. It will be quite a few days before he wonders where you've gone. By then the Thalmor will have come and taken you and it will be a very tragic end for the Dragonborn. For me and the rest of the guards who have helped bring a wanted criminal to justice? 5,000 each."

"You won't live long to enjoy it," snarled Serana.

"Oh, we are so scared," mocked the Captain. Of course she was referring to Harkon and Alduin. He was thinking we were making idle threats. They left us in the cell.

"Well," sighed Sofia. "I was hoping to see you again. But not quite like this. Now we are all stuck."

"We have to get out of here," groaned Serana. "Soon."

"It's not that immediate," I replied back. "The fastest Elenwen will know we are here is a day, and then it will be a day for her to put together a suitable escort, and third, that escort will need to be circumspect. We have at least two if not three days to work out a way to escape and get out of town."

"Val," she hissed. "You don't understand. I have no blood potions with me."

"Oh my (insert the usual bad word here) Julianos," sighed Sofia.

"Looks like you get to practice discipline again," I replied to Serana, giving her a good strong look. She meekly nodded. But I had no doubts that there would come a point before long. "Let's start looking at this cell," I continued.

We commenced to examine the entire cell and shortly realized that there was a very large flaw in the design.

"This floor grate," whispered Sofia. "It looks a bit loose. And there's a tunnel below."

"That's the sewer Sofia," I replied. "You relieve yourself over the grate and the water washes it away."

"I bet we could get it open," insisted Sofia.

"So we're going to be in deep um . . . doo doo?" suggested Serana.

"If this works," I said.

By careful control of my magicka, I began to heat the grill with my fire spell, it began to expand and the mortar around the edges began to crack as the bars themselves began to bend. Then when the grill was red hot, I began to cast frost. The grill naturally began to contract and in so doing, the grill was no longer 'stuck' to the mortar. Needless to say, after about a couple of hours of heating and cooling, the grill was loose enough that we were able to lift it up, and then, after we had slipped into the putrid smelling tunnel, we placed the grill back into it's spot and began to gently work our way down the slippery and rancid smelling tunnel. It was less filthy than it smelled since water was always running through it, but after some working through the darkness we found another problem. The water exited into a sluice which was to narrow for us to go down and it was likewise completely underwater.

"Great," muttered Serana.

"There has to be a way into this tunnel," I said. "So we head back the other way."

"Naturally since there were only two ways we could go, we took the wrong one," sighed Sofia.

And so we worked our way back up and the nice thing about going back was we got to a cleaner part of the tunnel since we had passed the dungeon and was approaching the headwaters of the tunnel. This way was blocked by a metal door which was raised and lowered by means of a wheel which was above the tunnel, on a ledge above which we were able to access by means of a metal ladder. There was an iron door, with a lock, which we picked, and found ourselves in a small hallway which had two exits, one which enabled us to re-enter the dungeon. We choose not to take that one concluding that walking by the guards would be a very bad idea. And the other way led to the open spaces between the walls and the palace on the north side of Dragonsreach. We waited for the sun to set and twilight to fade, and then we slipped into the lower section of the town and got into Breezehome with no undo incident. Lydia then was given the full info and a couple of hours later, she rode the wagon out of town passed the guards who did not think to look too closely inside. Serana was in her coffin and Sofia and I were silently behind the curtain. The cabin then looked quite empty, the absence of light in the interior helped greatly with the ruse, and so they let the wagon pass. Besides, everyone knew we were in the dungeon, except the Jarl and his court of course.

Lydia drove the wagon all the way to Riverwood before she stopped. We switched out then and she started to walk back to Whiterun while we drove the wagon west taking the road that was north of Falkreath. The three of us sat up on top for the first two hours and then Sofia began to get seriously sleepy. Serana noted this and likewise kept an eye on me. After another few miles, Sofia was trying to sleep on my shoulder and I was starting to yawn, so Serana suggested I and Sofia get to sleep and she would drive the wagon for a bit. We agreed and crawled into the wagon and shortly thereafter were both snuggled up in the cool wagon's interior since we had no time to start the stove fire, so anxious were we to put as much distance between us and Whiterun for the time being.

It was a nice morning to wake up to. I called out to Serana, and heard nothing at all. My calling alerted Sofia.

"Think she's grabbing a few winks in her coffin?" she queried.

"Probably," I concluded.

Sofia's response was to snuggle up to me, and briefly nibbled on my neck. I looked at her and she promptly began to kiss me. I figured where this was going to go and I kissed her back and held her a little more closely.

"I'm really sorry about my suggestions to that guard," she said. "I just wasn't thinking at all. And I want to make it up to you special now, okay?"

"Oh," I replied with a mock sigh. "If you must."

"I must," she continued. "I really have to do this."

About an hour later, after the usual expression of affection, I finished dressing and stepped outside. Serana had driven the wagon up to a narrow trail which rose into the mountains. I suspected she had concluded this was the closest we could get to the Ancestor Glade. There was a chill wind blowing, but I began to look for dead wood and started to chop it up for the wood stove. As I cut it up, Sofia began to collect the cut wood and took it inside where I presumed she was lighting the stove. Once I had secure sufficient wood for the next two day's needs I got back into the wagon and began to make breakfast. After a particular knock down drag out fight, Sofia and I had concluded that I would make breakfast and lunch and she would make dinner. I would wash up after breakfast and she would wash up after lunch and dinner. It satisfied her since she was convinced marriage meant that she was to be a home maker and servant. This translated into doing no housework at all unless I could convince her that she was merely 'pulling her fair load'. Of course from Sofia's perspective, any labor in house maintenance was greater than what she regarded as fair. Hence the fact that we had fought over who was going to cook and who was going to clean. It satisfied me because I knew how to make breakfast and lunch, but had no clue how to seriously cook. Oh I had some basics down, but soups and roasts? I was totally out of my league.

Once we had finished, we woke up Serana, or rather, struggled to get a dead body out of the coffin so it would come back to life shortly. It ended in the usual fashion, at some point Serana woke up and made some comment or other about us manhandling her in a suggestive manner and as the three of us were quite used to this sort of wake up, that was the end of the topic. Checking our supply of torches, and other necessary spelunking gear, we plunged into the cave which was supposed to be the entrance to the Ancestor Glade. It wasn't so much a cave as it was a mostly covered crevice.

"Hmmph, not very impressive is it?" suggested Serana.

"You were expecting what?" retorted Sofia.

There was a bit of ledge climbing and we worked our way into what was an almost completely enclosed glade. The was an opening way up at the top and snow flakes were gently falling from it and swirling around before settling on the ground and melting. Several trees had blossoms upon them and there was the sound of rushing water and gentle pools.

"Wow, look at this place!" sighed Serana her eyes widening with wonder from the surprise of transition from the dull mundane hole in the wall to the magical garden quality of the glade. "No one has been here in centuries. I don't think there's anything else like it in Skyrim. It's beautiful." She began to bound down the stairs and was looking this way and that. She gingerly put her hood down and blinked for a moment. Then she began to look intently at things. The sun was not bothering her here and she was once again awash in the colors and scents of the place. There were at least two trees which were blooming and some of the petals were drifting off of them and gently wafting to the ground as well. In the middle of this I noted a bit of shrine architecture and made my way to it. Hovering in the middle of a stone circle was a two handled blade. Not entirely unlike a razor.

"Well now we've got the knife, all we need to do now is track down one of those canticle trees," suggested Serana looking about.

"Probably those blooming trees," suggested Sofia. "The scene is so sappy I can't imagine any other tree being it."

One was nearby so I walked over to it and began to 'shave' the tree. The bark came off in long thin strips and I gathered them up and noted a faint flowery smell.

"I hope the moths like that bark as much as Dexion said they would," said Serana.

I waited. I didn't see much in the way of moths gathering. I had seen a few of them flitting about. But then as I walked over towards a set of stairs, a clump of them began to gather around me and flit about me as if I was some sort of lamp on a foggy night.

"Well," giggled Serana. "They've definitely taken a liking to you, and unless I'm seeing things? You're starting to glow."

"Oh this is so . . ." muttered Sofia. "Guagh! It's just like some sappy kid's tale. Give me a bucket? I feel like I'm two months pregnant after a big breakfast."

"Sofi, this is so beautiful!" argued Serana. "It's so peaceful and quiet here. I could be here forever."

"I'm an adult now okay?" retorted Sofia. " I don't do kids stuff!"

"Wait until you have our first child," I suggested. "Then you'll be doing kids stuff."

"What? No way. My kids are going to be so mature so fast . . ."

More and more moths were gathering around and the vista seemed to be getting brighter and brighter. I began to look for moths and when I saw them I would walk over to them and they would likewise begin to hover about me. Then I began to hear the trilling.

"Wow, I think that's what we were waiting for," continued Serana, her excitement increasing by the second while Sofia's annoyance at the 'sappiness' likewise exhibited itself. "Let's head back and see if we can read the scroll!"

I walked back to the central shaft of light. And began to open the scrolls. Once again my vision was filled with eldritch symbols which swirled about and slowly a map began to form. First came the rivers, then came the mountains, and then finally came the mark of Solitude and the mark of a cave to the far west of Skyrim. Then once again it was all white and I saw nothing for a moment. Little by little, my vision began to return.

"Are you okay?" asked Serana. "I almost thought I had lost you there. You went as white as the snow."

"I'm okay," I sighed.

"Well of course," suggested Sofia. "You think I would have stuck with him if he wasn't the best?"

"Do you know where the bow is?" asked Serana.

"Yes," I answered. "It's in a cave near the border of High Rock."

"So we get to cross Skyrim again," groaned Sofia.

"Did you hear something?" asked Serana.

"What?" I asked.

There was the sudden twang of a conjuration spell being cast and stepping out of the blue light circle was a very angry gargoyle.

"Daddy dearest has found you again!" I shouted to Serana as we ducked and backpedaled. Several more vampires and their thralls came tumbling down the stairs for us. I unleashed a few fireballs and then paused to drink magicka potions. The Gargoyle came for me and so I barely had time to throw up a good ward and draw my blade. His fist shattered the ward but I got a good whack in before I stepped back and recast the ward. He smashed it again and I whacked him again but being he had rocks for brains, he merely wound up to whack a third time. I concluded that my ward was simply not going to do it and I took a second to duck the swing and dashed around him only to run into a very annoying thrall.

"Victory or Sovngarde!" he screamed raising his two handed blade over his head.

"I pick Sovngarde!" I replied and ran him through. When you raise your blade above your head, you have a completely exposed chest, particularly if you insist upon wearing that rather abbreviated hide which shows off the pecs really nice but provides almost no protection from someone who can keep his cool and stab. For once the silly fellow went down with a single whack. That didn't happen very often to me. I backed up and tried to get my bearings. Sofia was surrounded by two vampires and a thrall while Serana was tangling with the Gargoyle and two more thralls. I let loose a series of two handed fire bolts and that took care of the one thrall by Sofia.

"Serana!" I screamed. "Two corpses!"

She knew what that meant and ducked and did a quick take. Then with a flick of her wrist, one of the corpses rose up and commenced to whack away at the gargoyle. I summoned a flame atronach who happily flitted out tossing firebolts left and right. Useful little pyromaniac they are. Can't last long and they have a nasty habit of exploding when they are killed but for a distraction they are quite adept. Then I focused on the two vampires still on Sofia.

"If I am to die!" shouted Sofia. "Then I want to go out in style. Does my hair look alright?"

I dashed down with shield and sword out. I reached the first vampire and knocked her forward with the shield. That put Sofia one on one with the other vampire. The one I had knocked about promptly focused entire on me and I realized that leaping in to rescue the woman I loved more than life itself had turned out to be a Very Bad Idea. The new vamp was putting the drain on me and I couldn't whack her hard enough fast enough. So I tried smacking her with the shield again. She staggered and the drain went off. I was able to gulp down a fast heal potion and she was back up and turning on the drain again. I whopped her with the shield again. That really worked. So I whopped her again and found myself panting. I simply had no more energy to smack her with the shield so I sheathed my sword and let loose with a stream of flames which I began to realize were doing absolutely nothing short of discoloring her leather armor. I mean I couldn't even frizz her hair. She put the drain back on, I sucked down a set of healing potions and summoned my familiar who proved a minor distraction long enough for me to draw my sword, catch my breath and stab at her again. She was aware that I was clearly out of my league and was grinning rather disconcertingly. But unbeknownst to myself, the two of us had been fighting for so long that both of us had failed to note where the rest of the battle was going. Suddenly Sofia was standing behind her on one side and Serana was on the other side. I went into a full defensive position behind my shield.

"Like that's going to stop my magic?" she sneered.

Serana tapped her on the shoulder.

"In a moment, let me finish this one," she snapped.

"I think you misunderstand," suggested Serana. "You're the only one left and there are three of us."

The vampire paused to take a glance to her left and right. Her expression became rather uncertain.

"I think we need to spare this one," I suggested.

She'll only go back and tell father," snapped Serana.

"Depends," I replied. "Let's see what she knows first."

"What like . . ." began Sofia who then clamped her mouth shut when I gave her 'the look'.

"What do you know of Auriel's Bow?" started Serana looking at the Vampire. "You know Vampire Dust is a great component for invisibility potions and Valentine's supply is about to run out."

I nodded.

"I don't know!" she stammered. "He sent us to find out where you were going since you have one of the two Elder Scrolls."

"Stupid girl," I laughed. "It takes three Elder Scrolls to find out where Auriel's Bow is. And now we know where to find the second one thanks to the ceremony we just performed in this glade. Not that you'll find any of them. We'll have them before you do. Serana? Tie her up under the shaft of light."

Serana looked at me and nodded. Sofia looked at me and there was little open mouthed gesture of surprise. With Serana being as strong as the other Vampire, we were able to tie the woman up quickly and effectively. She offered no resistance. She just limply submitted.

"By the time you get out of this," I laughed, rather fiendishly too. "Presuming the sun doesn't fry you first. We'll have the two other scrolls needed and know where to go for the bow. Tell Serana's father that he's failed will you?"

She commenced to struggle feebly and snarled at us with a 'I'll get you in the end blood bag' expression. We turned our back on her and walked out. We worked our way down the trail and with a hi yah, put the horses into a cantor so that the wagon began to fly back up the road towards Whiterun. That was a relative term of course. To get back to Whiterun, we needed to ride north and then turn east when we got to Lake Ilinalta. If we took the road to Falkreth, we would end up riding through Helgen. And after Alduin, Helgen had become too rubble chocked to drive a wagon through.

"How long before she breaks out of those bonds?" speculated Sofia.

"About ten to fifteen minutes, maybe sooner. Depends on how good she was at tensing and going limp only after we tied her up," I replied.

"Why even bother?" snorted Sofia.

"The idea was to make sure she thought she had outsmarted us," I replied. "She escapes, sniggering at how naive we were about her strength, she then runs north to Castle Volkihar and tells Harkon that three scrolls are needed and we still only have the one. That makes him start searching for the scrolls still unfound."

"If she knew we knew where the location of the bow was, she'd break free and start to track us since the bow is essential," continued Serana. "And no doubt she knows how to contact other Vampires on the way. We're very good at spotting each other."

"So, it's off to High Rock then," sighed Sofia.

"High Hrothgar," I replied.

"I thought you said that the bow was in . . ."

"It is, but given the location of the bow, it makes sense to widdershins it."

"Why?"

"Up to High Hrothgar, get the Greybeards to host the conference, then over to Windhelm to speak to Jarl Ulfric, then to Solitude for General Tullius, and then to get the bow. Back to High Hrothgar for the conference, and then we'll see. Besides, we have all three scrolls and since we know where the bow is, by the time they have tracked us down again, they won't know what our status is. That will mean they have to be cautious. The whole point of this is continual misdirection of which Alduin's threat is a very handy tool.

"Who'd have thought the end of the world would be a great distraction for the end of the world," sighed Sofia.

Serana could only stand riding in bright daylight for so long, especially since she had a nice comfy coffin in the closet in the wagon. Once Sofia had gotten her to This Time remember to put wood into the stove to keep it warm, she crawled through the flap behind the driver's seat and I presumed she got into her coffin once she was inside the wagon. That left me and Sofia driving down the road under a bright blue sky with a cold arctic wind blowing across our face.

"Back up the 7,000 steps again," sighed Sofia. "And we don't even know if this will work."

"Have we ever known anything would work?" I queried.

"Well I always know how my schemes are going to work," she replied. "I mean how many times have I left them drunk and passed out under the table, or brawling, or . . ."

"You in jail?"

"That was afterwards," she retorted. "It doesn't count. But that does remind me. We left Whiterun just a couple of days ago and we'll be back there this evening or earlier tomorrow morning if you drive through the night. Why are we going back there? They know we've escaped by now, they'll be coming for us."

"First of all," I replied. "That so called guard captain can't just up and arrest us again in public without an excuse and it's going to be tough for him to find a reason to publicly arrest The Dragonborn."

"He had no trouble with me!"

"You're not the Dragonborn. I'm sorry Sofi, but in spite of your tremendous beauty and brilliant intellect (Yes I know I was over exaggerating but this is Sofia remember?) it's a little easier for them to make up excuses to arrest you without worrying about public outcry of sufficient volume to alert the Jarl to their nefarious schemes."

Sofia was quiet for a moment. This was one of the few moments in which I could still keep her guessing what I was really thinking because on one hand, she was hearing things she liked hearing about herself, but on the other, she knew I was not afraid to be sarcastic to her when I did not think so highly of her decisions. I had in the past made no secret that I did not think she was the smartest cookie in the jar. Now don't get me wrong, her problem wasn't a lack of brains. She had them and knew how to use them very cunningly. The problem had always been that she used them for manipulation to get what she wanted which was way too much of what was good for her. So while she could lie, sneak, and scheme her way into a massive fun filled day or night of frivolity, there were consequences to those little games which she persistently refused to factor into her plans.

"And besides," I continued. "Who said I was going to be stopping in Whiterun anyway? Our wagon is pretty well recognized there now, if we show up they'll know we are back in town so I won't be stopping, we'll ride right by Honningbrew and cross the bridge and proceed north up that road towards Windhelm."

"But aren't we going to Iverstead?"

"Yes, that first, sorry I overlooked that in my explanations."

She settled back content. By reminding me, she had 'proven' she was smart. And you know? I didn't care really. The horses were just gamboling along and I looked over at her and for a moment just lost myself in her face. She began to notice that I was gazing fondly upon her and she began to smile to herself. Rather smugly I might add.

We passed Riverwood as the sun was lowering along the horizon and I began to think of where to stop when Serana popped back out.

"You really have a nice comfy bed," she observed. "If it weren't for my coffin I'd be so jealous."

"But you don't sleep well in a bed anyway," I replied.

"That doesn't mean it isn't comfortable. A nice thick soft feather mattress, is this what you slept on in the Imperial City?"

"Not really," I admitted. "Father never thought his kids should be pampered. So while our beds were not flat boards, but they were not the cushiest either. I got the mattress for Sofia. I like babying her you see."

"Lucky you Sofi," mused Serana as she plopped down on the other side of Sofia.

"Hey," replied Sofia. "It's all part of the planning ahead I do. I knew he'd be a winner once I saw him jumped by those Imperial Troopers on the border with Lokir."

"Oh will you look at that?" I said gesturing ahead with a nod of my head. "There's a rather disreputable Argonian just standing on the side of the road. You think he's a" and here I lowered my voice to sound all 'tee hee we are so wicked' ". . . Skooma dealer?"

"Obviously," said Sofia. "So what are you going to do?"

"I need Moon Sugar for the fondu."

"But Val, we already have had enough trouble with the Whiterun guards, you going to court more trouble by having illegal goods on you?"

"Just watch," I said as I gave her a cheeky grin.

"Oh this I've got to see," mused Serana.

"Seri? You really might like to be part of this," I continued.

"How? I don't do skooma. And I would presume you had already figured that out."

"Just trust me," I finished. "You'll catch on rather quickly, just be . . . shall we say . . . incognito until you know what's happening?"

"Right," she replied.

I pulled the wagon up and got down and walked the last few strides to the fellow while Serana tagged along looking rather ordinary and nondescript behind me and shyly looking at the Argonian from behind me. Sofia took advantage of the situation to grab a bottle of mead and lean back and watch the kiddies play.

"Greetings traveler," said the Argonian. "You look weary. I have something that will help you . . . relax . . . If you are willing."

"Oh?" I queried wide eyed. "What could you have?"

"The finest skooma, the sweetest moon sugar, for a fair price of course."

"Oh!" I made like I was surprised. "I didn't know. I thought it was chamomile or something." I paused and looked concerned. "You know, this isn't legal. The guards would not like this a bit I'm thinking."

"Oh? A snitch eh? Can't have you going to them."

"Please sir!" I cried backing up and preparing to throw up a ward. "I'm just an ordinary traveler I won't tell I promise!"

But of course he charged. My ward was up, and Serana was just standing there looking rather nonplussed.

"What are you doing?" I shouted to Serana as I ducked and weaved.

"I don't eat Argonians," she replied. "I thought you knew that."

"Oh great!" I shouted. "So you are going to stand there and do nothing?"

"Oh come on Val," she replied. "You can take him, just shout!"

"Right!" I said, feeling rather stupid. "FUS DO RAH!"

He flew back and then a double handed fireball finished the job.

"That's done with," I said in a style that I had heard one very good Breton actor do once upon a time. I walked over to the corpse and began to search. I found a few dozen septims, six bottles of skooma and a bag of at least three bowls of moon sugar and one bottle of Hist Tree sap."

"Here we go," I said pocketing the moon sugar but tossing the skooma bottles and sap into the river. "That has got to be the cheapest way I know of to get moon sugar."

"And we clear the roads of scummy people too," sighed Sofia. "We're such paragons of virtue. Let's have a party and start a bar brawl before we start to glow with some sort of divine sparkly okay?"

I got back up into the wagon while Serana hopped up on the other side.

"It really was rather clever of you Val," she said. "Had I known what you were planning, I would have alerted you prior."

"No problem," I said.

"Well aren't you two the sweetest things?" snarked Sofia.

I sighed. "Sofi," I said. You are the woman I am all in love with. But you're not a vampire. I was trying to let Serana have a live feeding, okay."

She sighed. "Oh alright. Just remember you're my personal slave and not the other way around."

"Yes Misses," I replied and jogged the wagon forward.

Serana commenced with small talk on Sofia's favorite subjects and that got them all wrapped up in girl things which put me out of their minds. That bit of tension was smoothed out but it did get me to thinking. I had to tread a very fine line now. Serana had offered to turn me and then apologized on the grounds that she had just forgotten that I wasn't my brother. It was clear that she wanted to be part of our family. And while I was not adverse to that prospect, it was a non-vampiric Serana that I wanted as a sister in law. But she was far more focused on the immediate and accordingly, if I wasn't careful, I would find myself compromised with her. And that would tear Sofia's heart into pieces. Understand, I did not regard Sofia's jealousy as a fault. I was after all, hers. That's what marriage is you see. But I wasn't just adventuring with Sofia, I was adventuring with Serana and that was the problem. The old adage 'two's company three's a crowd' was leaping up to bite us on occasion. You see, when you fight for your life side by side you form a deep bond with each other that lasts for a whole lifetime. It was one of the chief reasons why I was so utterly captivated by Sofia. And it likewise was felt by Sofia for me. Her fierce loyalty wasn't just because I was the guy who had proven to her that he did in fact love her. But that bond of camaraderie was as forming with Serana and she was likewise beautiful and in a very exotic fashion as well. Seriously those fangs could be quite the turn on in the right circumstances. Don't ask me why, I can't explain it. While she might some day rip my throat open and drain me dry, she was conspicuously lacking Sofia's faults. But was that good enough a reason to switch one out for the other? The thing that I was able to keep in my mind was the simple fact that had I made a list I would have noted that both women had plenty to irritate me with and plenty for me to be madly in love with. In short, I probably would have fallen in love with Serana had I met her first, and now I would be tempted by Sofia. I sighed. When was anything ever easy?

A couple of hours later, I pulled the wagon over and we camped on the road at the head of a vale where a Stormcloak encampment was located. From there it was on to Iverstead, which we arrived in early afternoon. We walked into the inn to secure a few foodstuff for the wagon as well as have a nice luncheon while the local talent, a girl named Lynly Star-Sung first offered to serenade us for a few septims and then recognized me and wanted to know why I had not been playing music for food and board like I used to when I had come to Iverstead. It dawned on me that it had been weeks since we had performed in any inn. I had been so busy trying to save the world that my music had taken a second place. I sighed, went to the wagon, got my lute and then Lynly and I played a set of duets for Sofia and Serana and the rest of the inn for a few hours before we turned in for the evening.

The next morning we were up at the Greybeards after walking the so called seven thousand yet again. The discussion was long with a great deal of give and take since as Arngeir pointed out, the Greybeards had deliberately chosen pacifism and isolation as the means by which they would not abuse The Voice of the Gods. In the end however, having remembered the great Dragon Tongue debate over the question of the Dragon Rend shout, Arngeir concluded that events would force the Greybeards to intervene. But it was not an easy decision for him to make. I think I was successful in part because I made the argument that ending a war, even if it was only for a brief duration, was fully in line with the pacifism of the Greybeards. But I also pointed out how hard it would be for everyone to get up to High Hrothgar anyway. While a precedent was being set, it was not a bad precedent and it would seldom be employed since getting there was going to be the hardest part of the negotiations.

That evening we returned to Iverstead and slept in the wagon after a nice meal in the inn. Lynly understood that we were exhausted from the trek. And as it was, we were the only 'pilgrims' who had actually seen the inside of High Hrothgar and had talked to the Greybeards so there was a bit of query by the village residents about the place and the monks who resided there. We fell into bed, at least Sofia and I did. Serana stayed up and apparently chatted with the residents way into the night answering their questions since she had that observant eye which Sofia and I lacked. And I might note that Serana was looking forward to sleeping in her coffin all the next day as we rode to Windhelm.

And that is exactly what we did the next morning. We drove the wagon out of Iverstead and made for Windhelm. I was going to have a 'talk' with Ulfric Stormcloak. There was something which I had found out when poking about the Thalmor Embassy which I had initially grabbed because I was trying to get all the information I could. Then I read it. And now it was going to have a decided impact on the next few days events.

It is also with a bit of irony that I noted that the Greybeards pacifism was what was going to be needed to make the violent fight with Alduin possible. Adventures do that to you at times you know.


	26. Chapter 26 - A Song For Preparation

"Why must their always be incest inside of temples? It really makes me a little sick," began Sofia. We were riding the wagon towards the bridge which crossed the White River just before the great city of Windhelm. Evening was threatening, but so also was a blizzard as the clouds were persistently low and looking packed.

"Incest?" I replied.

"Yeah," she answered.

"INcest?" I elaborated. "Sofi, what it this about incest in temples?"

"What? Did I say incest?"

"Yes, you said incest," I replied.

"I meant incense," she answered. "The smell really gets up my nose."

The back lid flipped open and I heard the sliding of the net panel and Serana stuck her head out.

"Good Evening!" she chirped. She leaned in and give Sofi a kiss on the neck. "I had such a wonderful sleep today so where are we now?"

"Coming up on Windhelm," I said.

"I've never been to Windhelm," said Serana.

"Neither have we," I answered. "We've driven by it once before but this is the first time we're actually riding into the city."

"All this time wandering around and there's still new stuff to see," mused Sofia. "Wonder how many taverns and inns are here and what sort of mead is sold?"

"How is it that after all your adventures you two never got to Windhelm?" Asked Serana. "Since I joined you we've been to Solitude, Whiterun, Riften, Winterhold . . ."

"We've not been to Dawnstar either," I replied. "And we have been to Falkreath but you were not there for that one."

"Oh I remember that one," answered Serana. "You told me about that shrine you and Sofia had to go to when we were in Castle Dawnguard."

"Stupid dog," grumbled Sofia. "You had to talk to him didn't you?" she hotly accused me.

"Did you have a problem with luring a dog in with a piece of meat for the blacksmith? I don't think so! An easy 25 septims YOU said. Bottles of Black Briar for the evening's meal. The only thing you found wrong with it was that we were not likely to kill something," I countered.

"How was I to know it was the dog of a Daedric Prince!"

"How was I to know either?"

"You're the Dragonborn!"

"That doesn't make me all knowing!"

"Then what good is it then?"

They say familiarity breeds contempt. It also breeds children but that's for another time. Suffice to say Sofia had gotten very used to the fact that I was the Dragonborn and accordingly didn't so much see the hero that was going to save Skyrim as she saw Valentine her husband who could be sarcastic when she said things she thought were precise, profound, and right spot on. While moments like this could be annoying, it was really nice to be able to wake up, take her in my arms, and snuggle up to her and hear her say something not along the lines of "How can you love me, I'm not worthy." While the lines "Scratch my back" and "I've got a headache so make your hangover remedy" and "Valentine your breath smells rancid get away from me" were not the most romantic lines ever uttered by a woman you have just taken into your arms first thing in the morning when you are both in a soft comfortable bed, when it came to Sofia, you were grateful for what you got.

"Nice to know some things just don't ever change," mused Serana. "So how easy is it going to be to see this Jarl . . ."

"Oofrick Raincoat?" suggested Sofia.

"Ulfric," I replied. "Ulfric Stormcloak."

"I prefer my rendition," insisted Sofia.

"We'll shortly find out I'm thinking," I said as the wagon reached the bridge.

We reached the city and rode the wagon into the gates where we pulled it to a stop on the side. There were two nords telling a female dark elf that she stank, stole, wouldn't help the Stormcloaks, and was probably an Imperial spy to boot.

"With people like you in this town helping the Stormcloaks," shouted Sofia. "I'd be an Imperial Spy too."

"Yes, let's just draw attention to ourselves in a really big way," muttered Serana. "Let all the soldiers know we are here and encourage them to watch us at every juncture. Maybe I should just turn into a big ugly bat, run around shrieking evil cackles, bite the little children, and really stir the pot."

"Get over it," snapped Sofia to Serana.

"We won't be here very long," I suggested before the hair pulling commenced.

A thin beggar woman gave us directions to the Palace of the Kings, Ulfric's residence, informing us that it was down the street from Candlehearth Hall, the inn we were standing besides. I proceeded down the street towards it. We walked in while Ulfric was having an argument with what I suspected was his chief general, a man by the name of Galmar. The room was quite impressive, more so than Elisif's courtroom in Solitude, but not as brightly lit and warm as Jarl Balgruuf's hall. Elisif's palace was way more attractive in an aesthetic sort of fashion. Ulfric's court room was more . . . well MANLY if you take my drift. In the center of this great long room was a great long table piled high with dishes and bowls and mugs and pitchers. It was conspicuously absent food and drink, which I presumed was much to Sofia's annoyance given the faces she was making as she looked at it.

"The Empire's putting a great deal of pressure on Whiterun," was what he was saying as we walked in.

"And what would you have me do?" queried Ulfric.

"If he's not with us, he's against us," argued Galmar.

"He knows that. They all know that," mused Ulfric.

"How long are you going to wait?" demanded Galmar. He was clearly the impatient sort.

"You think I need to send Balgruuf a stronger message?" replied Ulfric in that quite tone of his.

"If by message, you mean shoving a sword through his gullet."

"I like this guy," mused Sofia quietly.

"Taking his city and leaving him in disgrace would make a more powerful statement, don't you think?"

"So we're ready to start this war in earnest then?" asked Galmar.

"Soon," replied Ulfric.

"I still say you should take them all out like you did dead king Torygg," suggested Galmar.

"Torygg was merely a message to the other Jarls. Whoever we replace them with will need the support of our armies."

"We're ready when you are."

"Things hinge on Whiterun. If we can take the city without bloodshed, all the better. But if not . . ."

"The people are behind you." insisted Galmar.

"Many I fear, still need convincing." mused Ulfric.

"Then let them die with their false kings," snapped Galmar.

"Yeah, I really like this guy," sighed Sofia. "All action, no talk."

"You're married," observed Serana.

"We've been soldiers a long time," said Ulfric to Galmar. "We know the price of freedom. The people are still weighing things in their hearts."

"So? I'm not talking about sleeping with him," retorted Sofia back to Serana. "I'm talking about killing things with him."

"What's left of Skyrim to wager?" queried Galmar with firm resolve.

"Is that all you care about Sofi?" asked Serana. "Killing things, making love, drinking mead?"

"They have families to think of," answered Ulfric.

"No Seri, I like doing other things . . ." replied Sofia.

"How many of their sons and daughters follow your banner?" asked Galmar. "We are their families!"

"Such as . . ." queried Serana to Sofia. Sofia seemed to think for a moment.

"Well put friend," said Ulfric. "Tell me, Galmar, why do you fight for me?"

"I'd follow you into the depths of Oblivion," proclaimed Galmar. "You know that."

"Yes," replied Ulfric looking intently at Galmar. "But why do you fight? If not for me, then what?

"Drinking mead," suggested Sofia looking at Serana.

"I'll die before elves dictate the fates of men," cried Galmar. "Are we not one in this?"

"I mentioned that already," observed Serana to Sofia. She crossed her arms and looked at Sofia who commenced to think about it again.

"I fight for men I've held in my arms, dying on foreign soil," began Ulfric. His voice began to rise as each reason was stated. Each one stronger and with more purpose. I saw for myself why so many men were willing to follow him into the very maw of battle. "I fight for their wives and children, who's names I heard whispered in their last breaths."

"Well there's making love," suggested Sofia.

"I fight for we few who came home," continued Ulfric. "Only to find our country filled with strangers wearing familiar faces."

"I mentioned that too," observed Serana.

"I fight for my people impoverished to pay the debts of an Empire too weak to rule them, yet brands them criminals for wanting to rule themselves!"

"And then we go out and kill things, I like that," replied Sofia.

"I fight so that all of the fighting I've already done hasn't been for nothing. I fight . . . because I must," finished Ulfric.

"Never mind," finished Serana with a world weary sigh.

"Your words give voice to what we all feel, Ulfric," concluded Galmar. "And that's why you will be High King. But the day words are enough, will be the day when soldiers like us are no longer needed."

"I would gladly retired from the world were such a day to dawn," sighed Ulfric.

"Aye, but in the meantime we have a war to plan."

I walked up with Sofia and Serana behind me and ended about twenty paces from Ulfric. He noticed me.

"Ah," he said. "I remember you, the Imperial who swore the oath just before the headman was going to chop your head off."

I bowed my head. "I am pleased that your memory is so sharp," I replied.

"Rumor says you are also Dragonborn, that it was you who liberated Fort Kastiv from Necromancer Elves for my soldiers." continued Ulfric. "Did the Greybeards mention that I studied under them in my youth? Before the war changed everything?"

"The rumors are for once, true." I replied. "And no, I did not know you had studied under the Greybeards, but it makes sense given how you shouted High King Torygg into bits."

"I presume then, Dragonborn," he continued. "That you are here to deepen the fulfillment of your oath and join us in battle?"

"I am here in part because of the oath," I answered. "But I've been fulfilling it constantly since I made it. I have given the Empire no succor. And when pressed, I have refused. And likewise, it is good that I made the oath, for in my fight to free all of Tamriel from Alduin, I came across something in the Thalmor Embassy which I think you will be glad fell into the hands of the Stormcloaks and not the Empire."

Ulfric did his best to maintain his poker face, but I could see a nervous darting of eyes. And then with a serious composure upon my features, I pulled out a note book which had been secured from the hands of what I presumed had been Elenwen's chief interrogator before we had met. After we had met, he no longer was her interrogator due to a sudden case of fire and steel poisoning. I handed it to Ulfric and he began to examine it. As he read, he inhaled suddenly and then there was a look of anger that crossed his face. I suspected he had just read the part where it was revealed that the Imperial City had fallen prior to his cracking under the stresses of Thalmor interrogation and he had been played by them. He read some more then looked up at me.

"We need to talk about this privately," he suggested. "Something tells me this isn't the only reason you are here."

"Indeed," I replied. "I came for other reasons as well. Suffice to say, without your aid and all of the Stormcloaks, my struggle against Alduin stands a chance of being thwarted and if that happens, the world ends rather slowly and fearfully."

He looked at Sofia and Serana.

"This is Sofia my wife, companion, and fellow adventurer," I replied. "And beside her is Serana Volkihar, dear friend of the two of us. They you can trust with your life, and what's more, may Stendar have mercy on any would be assassin who shows up to kill you while we are closeted with you."

"Three Dark Brotherhood's so far," bragged Sofia.

Ulfric signaled Jorleif to summon servants for food and drink and we retired to a small room where we talked far into the night. As you might imagine it wasn't just about talking him into heading to a Peace Conference with the Greybeards. I had a plan and he was an integral part of it. We were put up in the palace for the night and the next day, with Ulfric beginning to prepare for the return to High Hrothgar for the Peace Conference, we left and drove the wagon towards Solitude.

With a clatter of horse hooves and the rattle of metal rimmed wheels, we crossed the bridge and turned to the right heading north towards Dawnstar. Serana stayed out long enough to see us out of the town and then slipped into the wagon and made for her coffin for what I presumed was a nice day's sleep. I had some pretty standard mead I was able to pass over to Sofia and she leaned back and sipped upon it was we rode through the snowy landscape along side the Yorgrim River. We chatted of this and that for a bit and then we got silent. Then she brightened up.

"I have a song I composed," she said. "I was thinking of it when we first got together but now it makes much more sense."

"Let's hear it," I replied.

Sofia took a swig of mead. Cleared her throat. Took another swig. Did an experimental hum. And then took yet another swig of mead. Then she began to sing . . .

At the College of Winterhold there was a mage,  
Who got sent away after causing a rage,  
She demonstrated her spell but to no avail,  
It lead the brave woman to the stables on a hay bale.

Then came a warrior who disturbed her rest,  
But accepted her presence for the upcoming quests,  
They traveled together and met friend and foe,  
And word spread around about the legendary duo.

They killed dragons and bandits, forsworn, even bears,  
Traveled through Skyrim and walked Hrothgar's stairs,  
And all of this started with a silly funny spell,  
But led to adventures soon everyone will tell.

She paused and looked at me. "Well?" she said. "Is it masterpiece or just great?"

"Your voice is beautiful. Your lyrics are funny but clumsy," I replied.

"It's good!" she retorted. "It's not clumsy."

"Okay," I replied. "Now who's been walking all over Skyrim and Cyrodiil collecting music for the past two years?"

"Yeah so?"

"Here Sofi, the first verse, how many syllables?"

"Huh? What's that got to do with anything?"

"If you want all three verses to flow smoothly, they all have to have the same rhythm," I replied. "And in the first verse you have a stanza of 12 syllables, followed by a stanza of 11 syllables, followed by a stanza of 12 again, but then you have a stanza of 14."

"Who gives a damn?" she snapped.

"I do," I replied.

"Besides you?" she challenged.

"Just follow me for a moment," I replied.

"I don't want to follow you I want you to follow me!"

"I'm the one trying to make the point. There's nothing wrong with your first verse as it stands. If you would let me finish this you would have heard that already."

"I know that tone. You're going to try to 'cut me down' to size again. It's what you do all the time."

"Do you want to learn about music or not? Do you want to be just the girl who sings with the voice of a Goddess or do you want to compose like a master as well?"

She opened her mouth to make a retort to that but now her curiosity was piqued. After all, she wanted to hear compliments about herself and by being told that her voice was that of a Goddess (and believe me I think it was) she was stroked in the right fashion to listen.

"Okay," I continued, now that we had finished the preliminary confrontation. "The second verse starts with a stanza of 11 syllables, followed by a stanza of 13, followed by 11, and ending with 14. Okay, so you see the problem?"

"No," she replied.

"If you are going to have a song which is 12/11/12/14, then you need the second verse to also follow 12/11/12/14, or if you are going to have a 11/13/11/14, you have to return the song to 12/11/12/14 in the third verse and then introduce a fourth verse which is 11/13/11/14 or it . . . stumbles. But you only have three verses and the third verse has a 12/10/12/12. In short, it sings like you couldn't make up your mind how to flow it."

"Well I'd like to see you do it better!" she snapped.

"Game on my drop dead gorgeous goddess wife whom I love with every ounce of my being," I replied.

"Damn it, I was hoping you wouldn't say that," she sighed. "In spite of the fact that you really heaped up the good stuff on it."

When in doubt, compliment her beyond her wildest dreams and you'll get away with so much afterwards . . . I proceeded to sing it leaving her first verse untouched.

"At the College of Winterhold there was a mage,  
Who got sent away after causing a rage,  
She demonstrated her spell but to no avail,  
It lead the brave woman to the stables on a hay bale.

Then a Bard of adventure tripped over her rest.  
And asked for her presence upon a grand quest,  
They traveled together and fought many a foe,  
And word spread around about the legendary duo.

They killed dragons and bandits, forsworn, even bears,  
Traveled through Skyrim and up Hrothgar's long stairs,  
And all of this started when she cast a new spell,  
But led to adventures that the people so love to tell."

She sighed after counting out the syllables.

"Sofi Sofi Sofi, you simply can't be perfect at everything," I suggested.

"Why not?"

"Because what would there be left for me?"

"That's not my problem," she retorted.

"It would be once you found out how dull everyone was who was less capable than you at everything," I suggested.

"No way," she shot back. "If I were perfect then everyone would worship me and I'd be happy."

"You're sure about that?"

She looked at me. "Just what are you suggesting?" she said.

"Okay lets start with the fact that you are beautiful and that beauty is perfect. Are women worshiping you?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"They're jealous," she concluded.

"So if you were more perfect what would the people's response be?"

"I hate it when you use logic," she grumbled.

"Sofi?"

"Yeah?"

"Have another bottle of mead."

"Okay but only because you told me to."

"Really?"

"No, but it's a good enough excuse."

She drank her second bottle while I rolled the wagon down the road. Throughout the day we traveled through snowy terrain. Part of it was due to the fact that it was winter. But likewise these were the winter lands. Eventually she settled next to me and we rode in silence for a while.

"Valentine?"

"Yes?"

"Why do you love me?"

I was ready for a really snarky snappy retort, something along the lines of "You tell me why all the time." But something in her tone suggested that she was suffering from self-doubts. There was still a very frightened little girl down in some corner of her mind and she occasionally let that little girl peak cautiously out of the windows of her eyes.

"You're not just beautiful," I said quietly "If I loved you just because you were beautiful I would sooner or later get tired of your looks and move on to another girl. But it did help, especially when I first laid eyes upon you and wanted you to be mine so badly it ached at times. But really Sofi? I love you because you have never given me a reason to think you were going to leave me. I love you because you stick with me through thick and thin. I love you because . . . well girl . . . when it comes down to it . . . I know you'll be in our bed when I wake up tomorrow."

"But you've told me this before," she observed.

"Yes, but there's a new reason, one I didn't think of before," I continued. "I love you because I promised to when we got married."

"Valentine? I don't remember my marriage to you because we were too drunk from Sanquine's brew. You don't remember the marriage either. So how do you know you made that promise?"

"If I didn't make that promise Sofia, then we're not married."

"So you just believe you made that promise?"

"Really Sofi, even if I didn't, it was something I should have promised because that's the only thing that keeps the marriage happy, that decision that you will love them each day regardless of what they do. So whether or not I actually did it at the ceremony that neither of us remember, thanks to Sanquine, I'm keeping it now and it's one of the reasons why I love you."

"It's funny Valentine," she mused.

"How so?"

"I love you for the same reasons. I know when I wake up, you'll be there."

I gave her a one armed hug, the sort that I gave her back when we would walk to our next adventure spot.

"There's only one thing that's messing up my perfect happiness," she observed.

"What's that?"

"It's too cold to make love to you."

"No it's not," I said pulling the horses in to a stop.

"What? It's so cold out here . . ."

I opened up the hatch and slid back the netted panel. And gave her an 'after you' motion. She bit the bottom of her lip as she grinned and scooted in. I followed. Serana, being dead in her coffin, had no clue what happened mid-afternoon just three feet above her to her left.

We pulled into Morthal after sunset. Serana drove the last few miles since her night vision was superior to ours and while she drove the wagon and chatted with me, Sofia got the stove burning and cooked up some beef and potato stew and she handed me a steaming bowl of it through the latch while I sat next to Serana. Then we chatted while I ate and she stayed with her head almost through the latch. Once the wagon was settled in, Serana went for a walk in the woods while Sofia and I turned in and slept.

The next morning we proceeded down the road towards Solitude. But unlike the day before, Serana stayed awake for a bit longer. We were all seated up with Sofia in the middle. There was some silence for a while, then small talk and then Serana had a question.

"Val? Sofi? Can I trust you?"

"You've been with us for how many weeks now and you're still alive and you ask us that?" I replied.

"I mean, what if I told you I had a talk last night and . . ."

"You found a vampire in Morthal right?"

Serana sighed.

"Speak freely," I said. "Sofi and I won't hunt them down, kill them, or report their position to the Dawnguard. Fair?"

"How did you guess?" was her first question. "I mean given the hints you've dropped over the weeks about cures, and given how the mage in Morthal knows how to cure Vampirism, how is it you guessed that I talked with another vampire and not him?"

"The way you said it," I replied. "It's the first time I think I've been able to see through your usual calm and placid demeanor which hides what it is you really are doing and thinking."

"Valentine I'm torn. She tried to recruit me for their plan for the town. There's a whole coven of vampires of which she was one of the first recruits. Maybe six or seven. I don't know who the leader is but the plan is to secure themselves in the town and enthrall all the authorities so that they can pretty much feed on the town with impunity."

"Pretty standard plot for a coven of vampires," I suggested. "Domination by one, mutual cooperation for security reasons as well as a plan to secure sufficient food."

"I don't like it," continued Serana. "It was such a naked power grab that I couldn't help but think they would overreach and expose themselves. And likewise, there are children in that town, also some of those people I'm sure are nice people and shouldn't be targets. But this vampire, Alva, did not seem to be concerned. She is already enthralling the husband of another woman and is setting up that woman's demise. It's just so callous and cruel . . ."

I waited patiently.

". . . No wonder there's a Dawnguard," sighed Serana. "If vampires . . ." She was silent again. "Val . . . Sofi? Do you think I'm evil?"

"Pruzah, good, do you remember that word?" I asked.

"Yes," said Serana.

"Kind of hard to forget what a big dragon says to you when he's looking into your eyes," suggested Sofia.

"But what is good!" exclaimed Serana. "Do we instinctively know what it is? If we do then why . . ."

"No, Seri, we don't know it instinctively," I replied. "If we knew it instinctively we would not need to teach our children right from wrong."

"But at the same time . . ."

"Yes, people tend to take a lot of it for granted, but that is only because it's such common sense," I continued. "Just about anyone can think out nearly all of it for their day to day actions easily enough, and when you start working with your kids and get to be on the receiving end of the evil that children do, it strikes you that you don't like the fact that they lied to you, said that they hated you, punched their little brother, and so on. So yeah, we can figure it out for the most part easily enough by just being honest with ourselves."

"But what IS good?" she asked.

"The definition of good is this," I replied. "If an action you do to another, you would be pleased to receive from another, that is the good. If an action you do to another, you would hate receiving from another, that is the evil."

"So you think I am evil then," she snapped. "You would not like to be bitten and drained of your blood, who would for that matter, so that makes me evil doesn't it!"

"There are degrees of good Serana," I replied. "And degrees of evil."

"You're trying to back out aren't you," she suggested. Serana still had that adolescent quality of seeing things in exclusive black and white. Not that this was entirely wrong, but it did lead you to make some interesting conclusions about what the wagon driver was saying.

"No Serana, I'm not trying to back out. Because there is more to it than just that. Yes, the fact that you have to gain your nourishment from the blood of other living humans, that is an evil action. The fact that you were somewhat forced into the situation mitigates it to some extent. You were seventeen when you were offered to Molog Bal. It was your father and mother that led you into the worship. You didn't question then because you naturally trusted them to do what was right for you as they had apparently done all your life. You didn't exactly have full knowledge or consent as to what being offered to Molag Bal really meant. Likewise the fact that you try to find ways to avoid having to do that, case in point by trying to only feed from the criminal classes again mitigates the evil of the action. That's why Isran noted you were a good woman once."

"But I'm evil now," she snapped.

"Isran has a serious handicap," I said. "He took a mace to the part of his skull right over the tact lob and lost it. The fact is, there is good in you. You exist, that is good. You are pleasing to look upon, that is good. You show respect and loyalty to your friends, that is good. The fact that you actually try to control your impulses is a very big plus in your favor. You take suggestions for self improvement. That is Very good." I turned to her. "In fact," I continued. "You are just about like every other person in this world, a mix of good and bad. And the thing that makes you less bad than most bad people is the simple fact that you are, like Parthurnaax, trying to overcome the evil in your nature. And you know Seri? We all have a monster in us. Your's just happens to be a bit bigger and nastier than mine and I wouldn't want your monster for the world. But that doesn't change the fact that I too have a monster and if I don't keep him on a leash . . . well . . you would be a pile of dust and Sofi would be alone and living in a cave."

Serana was quiet for a moment.

"If what I hear from you is correct, we all have evil in us, vampire or human."

I nodded.

"Then why would vampires be 'more evil' than humans? You seem to take that as a granted given what you've said so far?"

"Degree," I replied. "In order to live, you have to engage in an evil action. I don't. I don't have to do evil in order to live. That is the poison of Molag Bal. The fact that you have to do it."

"But I get to live forever, is that bad?" She phrased it as a rhetorical question and it was a very valid point on the surface. After all, death is not regarded as a good thing. But I already had the answer.

"Depends," I replied. "What if we were made to die and then be in communion with the Gods forever. What if the whole point of death is to transition to a higher spiritual state and what if, in order for us to make that transition, we have to die. The fact that you will never 'get old and die' is good, but what if that good is being used to overshadow a greater good, that is face to face converse with the very Gods themselves in Aetherius? Then the lesser good becomes an evil. An argument can be made that the whole point of Molag Bal's creation of the vampire was to stick it to Arkay, the God who oversees our death and transition. Each vampire in essence is a deliberate affront to Arkay. And what's more, Molog Bal knows eternity is a long time and sooner or later Seri, the odds are going to catch up with you and you'll find yourself dead and your soul will be in Coldharbor, forever under the dominion of Molog Bal."

"That if I end up dead, I will be in Coldharbor," sighed Serana. "We all know that's a risk. But this talk of transition into Aetherius? That's just idle speculation Val, there's no proof."

"If there's no proof that we will meet the Gods face to face Serana, then there's no proof that we won't either. We simply are in the unknown. To say that it's all speculation isn't entirely true either. There is evidence that the Gods have planned something. You have no problem with the concept of being stuck in Coldharbor for eternity. You think the Gods are just going to leave us all to a rotten fate? Why would we worship them at all then?"

"It is said that the Gods gain strength through worship. That it feeds them," answered Serana.

"That," I replied. "Is conjecture as well. A more simple explanation can be that the Gods require a certain amount of mortal participation before they feel that we deserve intervention. After all, if the Gods desire that we ascend to converse with them, is this world not then a training ground for such futures? Would it not be in the God's best interests to encourage us to engage in public worship in an effort to get us to connect with them? The facts remain, the more enthusiastic the crowd who worships, the more responsive the Gods tend to be unless of course there is a request to do something simply awful. Then of course, you go to the Daedra for we all know the Gods don't cooperate there even if there's a mob of worshipers asking."

Serana was quiet for a moment.

"So it's degree," she said. "And that is why you and Sofi like me, even though I have not always been 'good' to you. And it's why Alva's plot to take over Morthal and turn it into a vampire ranch bothers me, even though from my perspective it does achieve security and nourishment for those like me."

"Precisely," I concluded. "You have discovered that 'your food' happens to have a lot in common with you, and not in the way that the rancher discovers that he has things in common with his pigs, cows, sheep, and goats, or the hunter discovers the similarities between himself and the deer, rabbit, and pheasant."

"But there are similarities," replied Serana.

"Yes, we all have red blood, we all are warm blooded, but some of us can tell the difference between good and evil and choose between the two. A wolf does not question the ethics of attacking, killing, and eating a small furry rabbit. He does not sit there in agony over the fact that he is big and strong and can take what he wants from the rabbit and that rabbit has no legal recourse or appeal to a higher sense of justice. The wolf merely sees the rabbit, notes he is hungry, chases the rabbit, and if he catches that rabbit, he eats it. End of story. You on the other hand, had an emotional crises when that Necromancer started to cry as you were draining her. Her humanity struck you in a fashion that the deer we harvested to make blood potions did not."

"Why is it, Val," she continued somewhat annoyed if I was reading the tone of her voice correctly. "That when ever something bugs me, and I come to you to talk about it because you are one of the few people I have to talk about these things with, you end up bugging me more?"

"Because you are a girl conflicted Seri," I replied. "Every where you turn, you see good and bad entwined and you can't untangle it without a great deal of personal sacrifice and risk."

"Why is it that I keep thinking you're hinting that I ought to be cured of my Vampirism?" she snapped.

"Maybe," I said. "It's not me, but a little voice in your head that sounds like me that's doing it. When was the last time I suggested you get cured Serana?"

"That's beside the point. It's clear enough that's what you want me to do," she retorted.

"And would it bug you if I also wanted you to dye your hair red?" I queried.

"What?"

"Seriously, would that bother you?"

"I'd wonder why, especially since you're a married man."

"Yeah!" cried Sofia who had just grasped what I had just said. When Serana and I got into these deeper conversations, she often liked to just zone out.

"But would it bother you? Really?"

"Bothers me!" suggested Sofia.

"I like my hair color!"

"Yes, but will you be mad at me for the next few days because I suggested it?"

"I'm mad," suggested Sofia.

"Yes I will, because this is all just a sham to hide behind the fact that you want me to stop being a vampire!"

"My point was that not everything I want annoys you as much as that."

"Wait! What's going on here?" demanded Sofia who was now paying closer attention to the conversation and was, somewhat understandably, confused because it kept going in directions she didn't think it should go but seem to naturally flow there anyway."

"Val," huffed Serana. "Is once again trying to talk me into being cured." She made quotation marks and her voice took on a high sneering nasal tone when she said the word.

"Oh? Is that all?"

"Is That All!" cried Serana looking at Sofia. "It's only my entire identity we're talking about here."

"Seri? Have you ever had to make a choice between the man who cares about you and your best friend who is trying to kill him?"

"What has this to do . . ."

"You went Feral on us after Alduin, and you attacked Valentine, MY Valentine. I was behind you holding you back by your braids and my arms were aching because I was getting tired. And I realized that I was going to have to kill my best friend because she was going to kill MY Valentine! I had nightmares about it all night afterwards. If it hadn't been for Parthurnaax, you would be a spot of dust on the snow at the top of the throat of the world and Molag Bal would be mocking your soul right now in Coldharbor! And I'd be hating myself because I had to choose between you and him and . . . I don't want to make choices like that!"

"That wasn't my fault!"

"No it wasn't but you still would have been dead!" Sofia shouted. "And ruined my day."

Serana just slumped back into the bench and Sofia joined in. I looked at the two of them, glowering and looking straight ahead. I sighed and shook my head and the wagon moved on. Eventually I managed to crack a joke that made the two of them giggle and things smoothed out. Eventually, Serana began to complain about the sun and she crawled back into the wagon. Things were quiet again for a bit. I pulled out a bottle of mead and gave it to Sofia. She began to take little drinks from it and leaned against me.

"My mead daddy," she laughed. "I trained you well."

"Of course," I replied with a grin. "I did it originally because I was afraid if I didn't, you would run off to find another guy."

"Yeah," she said after another sip. "The thing is Valentine, you were the first guy who was actually working on keeping me in mead when we were not at a tavern. I kept thinking, 'He's rich.'"

"But I wasn't," I replied.

"No, but you were acting like you were," she replied. "And you were raised in a rich family. A girl notices things like that. Now that I think on it and remember? I guess that at some level I knew you really did love me. Though I didn't really believe it enough until I told you I was . . . pregnant and you smiled at me. And then I knew you were going to be there forever." She paused. "I wanted you so bad and we had to kill all those Thalmor first. First time I was annoyed that I had to kill something. Last time too."

"So that was the nightmare you were having that you insisted you had forgotten," I suggested.

"What? Well? That's because . . . Okay . . . FINE! I shouldn't have lied to you but I didn't want to talk about it then." She paused for another second. And then as if it were being dragged out of her with a pair of rusty pliers. "I thought you would laugh at me for having it."

"Then you just needed to say so, Sofi," I said. "Just say, 'I'm not ready to talk about it with you.' or say 'Promise me you won't laugh.' and then the onus is on me. And if I do laugh, you'll have something to rub my nose in when necessary."

"Yeah!" she said, her eyes lighting up. She sat back and had a cheeky little grin on her face as she played around with the mead bottle's opening in her mouth. Normally when a girl does that, there is always frequently if not invariably a suggestion that the playing around is really sexual in overtones and there's been a few plays on the stage where the actress does all sorts of suggestive behaviors associated with it. But Sofia actually was rather innocently just sucking on the bottle between little swigs. Of course after a few more moments of this swig, lick, suck, rub with lips sort of behavior I made the observation that she was aiming a bit high with the bottle top and she took a second and then called me a pervert, whereupon I pointed out that she got it which only proved she was just as perverted and we proceeded to tease each other mercilessly for a few more moments seeing who was the most depraved of the two. Then we laughed and settled down and later in the evening rode into Solitude.

The next morning it was off to General Tullius and he immediately insisted that I 'explain' a letter he had gotten from my mother about me, typical stuff really, she was trying to put into Tullius head the idea that I would make an ideal replacement for Titus as Emperor and she was being her typical cagey self. She had been so subtle that his soldier's mind had failed to catch the meanings. So naturally I explained it in such a manner that suggested that he would make an ideal candidate for picking the next Emperor, even if that should be himself. Naturally that made him well disposed to things and so once I explained the peace conference and Ulfric's attendance there, coupled with the fact that the dragons were busy attacking Imperial columns and patrols, he was willing to participate along with Legate Rikke. Of course that wasn't the only thing we talked about. In fact, we were busy making plans the entire day.

Meanwhile Jordis caught Sofia and Serana up to speed with the news in Solitude and they spend the day shopping for supplies and then dropped by the Blue Palace and invited Jarl Elisif over for a light supper that evening. Sybille was more than happy to suggest that it be so since she liked spending time with Serana. Falk tried to suggest that Elisif had been busy all day but armed with Sybille, Jarl Elisif handily deflected his attacks and he went down in flames and blood. So when I got back from my long discussion and planning session with General Tullius, there were four women at the dining table, drinking mead and blood potions and talking about the latest bardic festival which was coming up later in the month. I gave Sofia a kiss on the forehead and retired to bed exhausted and knowing that the next day we would be up and packing for the next trip, a cave somewhere on the borders where Auril's Bow was supposed to be hidden.

I'm not sure when the four girls finished their little get together but I knew when Sofia came to bed because she was rather tipsy and determined to have her way with me. I have this rule I have always followed in my life. When a beautiful woman crawls into bed with you and insists that you have to make love to them, you grant them their request. I know it's hard at times, and I know there are moments when you would rather sleep, and I know that it can be brutal and grueling, but it's something that a man just has to do regardless of the pain and suffering involved. And yes, when they cry your name out as they climax, it can wake you up and make it hard for you to get back to sleep.

But as one great author once said, an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.


	27. Chapter 27 - A Song For Gelebor

"So," began Sofia as the wagon rumbled up to a cave which the map said was Darkfall Cave. And I use the term rumbled loosely. There was no direct way to Darkfall Cave. We had to turn north from Solitude as we passed the Statue to Meridia, and then as we reached the area of Wolfskull Cave we had to turn west. That went on for a few miles before the road turned south past Lost Echo Cave. Then it was through the vales of northwest Skyrim past Volskygge then turning west again as we neared Deepwood Redoubt and the turned south once more as we passed the Orc Encampment known as Mor Khazgur.

"Where's my gift?" finished Sofia.

"Gift?" I asked utterly baffled. "Normally you don't ask for those, and you should at least try to act surprised when I give them to you. And we're not even talking about some of the things you say when you get them such as 'I'll treasure this forever or until I'm bored with it.'"

She gave me a rather peeved look.

"Don't tell me you forgot our anniversary," she accused.

"Anniversary?" I queried. "It is Loredas, the 17th of Morning Star. We got married some time during the first week of Frostfall and spent the second week trying to figure out how we had done it. When? I don't know and neither do you. It's only been three months, girl. What's this about an anniversary?"

She sighed. "Oh well, it was worth a shot."

I gave her one of my 'you've got to be kidding me' looks.

"And besides!" she continued. "I've told you a few times that the gift shows that you love me."

"When it's worth over 2,500 Septims you have been known to say 'You must really love me'," I replied. "When it's worth under 250 you ask me if I think that's all you're worth. Which you should know by now I don't. I just happen to think some of the simple gold and silver rings look sweet on your fingers, okay?"

"Well how am I to train you that I like the really expensive gifts more than the inexpensive ones?"

"Train me?"

"Of course, how else can a wife have her way if she doesn't train her husband first?"

"Sofi? Why don't you try something like this, first, recognize that I give you gifts of all sorts because I happen to love you. Second, when you get a gift you are not that pleased with, at least say 'Thank you, you're sweet' or at least something like it."

"You mean lie to you?"

"You do that already so what difference does it make?"

"I don't lie to you that much!"

"You shouldn't be lying to me at all," I observed.

And no doubt some of you are saying, "Why are you still in love with this woman?" and I reply, "Because I said I would and I try to keep my promises." Not to mention the fact that we had stood back to back against the very wrath of the greater powers of Nirn. You really can't appreciate the camaraderie that needing each other's support in a struggle against life and death produces until you've been in those situations yourself. I dare say that by the time we stood outside that cave, after taking a good five minutes to pull Serana out of her coffin, the idea of ever abandoning each other for someone else, even clearly more amenable and compatible was simply out of the question. Sure she loves me, she's honest, she always tries to be as sweet as possible to me but can she fight and watch my back when we've got a horde of falmer trying to kill and eat us? Would she have dropped me for a richer guy? Not a chance, not when she knew that when her back was up against a wall and the brigands were giggling and telling her about how they were going to to piercing her with their 'big sword' in just a few moments I'd be burning my way through the mob to get her safe and secure. Besides, she did eventually grow up, just not during the course of this story . . . Well maybe a little. And tricking her into admitting that she told lies to me on occasion was simply par for the course. It was all part of triggering little guilt reactions in her which would, if she was sensible enough, cause her to straighten up.

And of course some of you might note that I had, in the past, lied to Sofi. Yes, I did. It was wrong of me to do it and I'm sorry. The problem with getting into the habit of lying is that you lose the ability to keep from lying to every one on every single subject. It was one of the hard lessons I had to learn during my adventuring career.

With the morning spat taken care of and checked off the schedule, we plunged into the cave, and for the first hour discovered absolutely nothing. It was a very weird sensation. But as this was Skyrim things were bound to get strange sooner or later and they did. We found a rope bridge going across a very deep hole. Testing it showed it to be strong enough and so we crossed it and found a dead end on the other side and some veins of moonstone. Well, I was trying to master smithing so I might one day be able to make dragon bone weapons and armor so I got out my handy pickaxe which I always carried with me on a adventure and with Sofia and Serana holding open the bags, I filled them up with the ore I was able to extract. That done, we walked back out onto the rope bridge and looked down to see how deep it was and discuss if we might be required to go down that shaft by other means.

That was when the rope bridge, perfectly capable of holding the three of us, demonstrated that it was not perfectly capable of holding the three of us and two bags of moonstone. We fell rather suddenly and swiftly and landed in a lot of deep water which seemed to want to drain out a tunnel which promptly took us with it. For the next few moments or seconds or hours, depending on our perspective at any point of it, we were treated to a wild ride we had not bought nor paid for. At some point we flew out of the narrow tunnel and into a large wide shaft that went down and we were joined by several frostbite spiders who apparently saw us and concluded that we were prey. Well thankfully we had just taken the trip to High Hrothgar and . . . Well call me silly but I insisted on reading out loud those ten plaques each time we walked up that trail and so accordingly the spiders concluded we were Kynnareth's special people and once they landed next to us, they scuttled back up the sides and left us be.

It was not a happy moment for the three of us. We were battered and bruised and what was particularly annoying, besides the pain, was that we were wet. My healing magics were able to remove most of the bruises that I and Sofi had suffered and thanks to the fact that I had finally gotten around to reaching a necromantic spell book I had found back in Dimhollow, I discovered a necromantic healing magic which enabled me to patch Seri back up. Unfortunately I had no magic to dry us and so we squished and squashed as we worked our way towards some exit or another.

"I was thinking, for once we're going to have a normal fetch quest, we're going to find something and nothing bad was going to happen," sighed Sofia. "Silly of me I know but a girl's hopes can rise when least expected."

"It could be worse," sighed Serana. "At least we haven't been attacked by anything."

This was said of course, three seconds before the first of the Falmer arrows began buzzing by our ears. Now you may ask, why do Falmer arrows buzz? Well the Falmer are blind you see and accordingly they depend on the sound the arrows make coupled with the sounds that their targets make when ducking to know where to aim the next set of arrows. The trick of fighting Falmer is to stay as silent as possible and move in stealth when you can afford to. What was particularly annoying about these Falmer, or what had the potential to be annoying, was the presence of chaurus bugs. Fortunately they initially ignored us due to the blessing that had kept the spiders from attacking us. Unfortunately I had made the catastrophic blunder of giving Sofia a staff of fireballs and she was like a kid with a new toy. The only thing I know of which could have made her more happily enthusiastic would have been to lock her inside the Black Briar Mead Brewery. Needless to say the fireballs were illuminating the cave features most evocatively, casting shadows of the struggle in a most dramatic fashion, not to mention almost constantly, and her spontaneity at aiming succeeded in hitting not a few chaurus and that ended the blessing. Now we had run into Falmer in other places, such as Blackreach and Shimmermist. But the Falmer here were literally at the next stage of civilization, though what passes for Falmer civilization would be regarded as simplistic for a colony of oysters. Needless to say we fought our way through several villages and one town of Falmer before we worked our way out of that mess. Then we discovered a new entrance that, had we known about, would have enabled us to avoid most of the trouble. There was not a little wailing and gnashing of teeth and threats to inflict bodily injury, not to mention full live feedings upon the cartographers of Tamriel. All that was in that section of caverns were a set of trolls and a pair of dead Bretons who had tried to 'live in peace and harmony' with the trolls. Apparently they didn't get the memo that trolls find Bretons delicious.

"These people," sighed Serana. "Why would they want to set up camp here anyway?"

There was a long passageway that went down however, and so we set down it. It was a standard tunnel for a bit and then it opened up into a very big cavern.

"Something's not right here," muttered Serana.

"Outside of the fact that we're bruised, been taken, and are out of mead?" replied Sofia.

It turned out to be trolls actually. But by this point trolls were merely something that required a few more swings to handle. I paused to reflect on how things had gotten more controllable since I had been ducking Alduin's "Let's play World Destruction" back during the middle of Last Seed.

We wandered a bit more trying to get a feel for the size of the cavern and then when we got to the far end, we saw new architecture though mostly ruined and brass work which I had never seen prior. But the thing that struck me the most was that there was a mer, in an elven style of armor of a color I had not seen before, praying.

"What's that?" queried Serana. "I can feel some sort of power from it . . ."

The elf turned and looked at us.

"Come forward," he said. "You have nothing to fear here."

"What if he's lying?" queried Sofia.

Serana looked at her with one of those patient stares she employed to make you feel just a little uneasy, not to mention stupid. The glowing red eyes and intent gaze really was unnerving at times.

"I am Knight-Paladin Gelebor," said the elf. "Welcome to the Great Chantry of Auri-El."

"Thank you," I replied. "I am Valentine Florian, with my wife Sofia and friend Serana Volkihar. So then this cave is a temple to Auriel?"

"Auriel, Auri-El, Alkosh, Akatosh . . . So many different names for the sovereign of the Snow Elves."

"Snow Elves?" I queried.

"You're a Falmer!" accused Sofia. "Good looking too!"

"I prefer Snow Elf," replied Gelebor. The name 'Falmer' usually holds a negative meaning to most travelers. Those twisted creatures you call Falmer I call the Betrayed."

"I imagine you know why we're here," I mused. There was something about him that suggested an ancient wisdom which was deep seeing.

"Of course," he replied. "You are here for Auriel's Bow. Why else would you be here?"

"Not for the drinks that's for sure," sighed Sofia. "What does a girl have to do to get a glass of mead in here? Actually, I don't think I want to know."

"I can help you get it," continued Gelebor, meaning of course the bow. "But first I must have your assistance."

"Why are we not surprised?" groaned Sofia.

"What type of assistance do you need?" asked Serana. Her curiosity was becoming piqued. And when she got curious, she would sort of 'take over' the conversation.

"I need you to kill Arch-Curate Vyrthur," answered Gelebor. "My brother."

"Nice to see such warm family relations," quipped Sofia.

"Kill your brother?" I asked. Now my curiosity was piqued. Killing brothers was one of those little trigger events which had put me into this cave at this juncture, if you recall my backstory. "Why?"

"The kinship between us is gone," sighed Gelebor. "I don't understand what he's become, but he's no longer the brother I once knew." He paused for a moment. "It was the Betrayed . . . they did something to him, I just don't know why Auri-El would allow this to happen."

"What exactly did the Betrayed do?" asked Serana.

"They swept into the Chantry without warning and began killing everyone without pause."

"You fought back?" asked Sofia. "I mean when I get the chance to kill something I don't hesitate."

"The Chantry was a place of peaceful worship. I led a small group of Paladins, but we were no match for the Betrayed's sheer numbers. They slaughtered everyone and stormed the Inner Sanctum where I believe they corrupted Vyrthur."

"So how do you know he's not dead then?" I asked.

"He's alive," replied Gelebor. "I've seen him. But something's wrong. He never looks as though he's in pain or under duress. He just . . . stands there and watches, as though waiting."

"So you've tried to get into the Inner Sanctum," I mused.

"Leaving the Way-shrines unguarded would be violating my sacred duty as a Knight-Paladin of Auri-El. And an assault on the Betrayed guarding the Inner Sanctum would only end with my death."

"Way-shrines?" asked Serana.

"Yes," he said. "Let me show you." He proceeded to walk across the water strewn floor of the cave over to a dome which had a sun or star burst bronze point on it's top and summoned magicka. Then there was a glowing light, colored like a faint sunbeam upon the dome and it rose into a stone gazebo under stone arches and columns. It wasn't a bad looking thing. And magical which added to it's, what's the quality I'm thinking of? Well it was one of those things which you just heartily approve of for reasons you can't entirely explain.

"So this is Snow Elf magic," mused Serana. "Incredible." She seemed to be hovering about Gelebor with a little bit of amazement on her features.

"This structure is known as a Way-shrine," said Gelebor. "They were used for meditation and for transport when the Chantry was a place of enlightenment. Prelates of these shrines were charged with teaching the mantras of Auri-El to our Initiates."

"What's that basin in the center signify?" asked Serana.

"Once the initiate completed his mantras, he'd dip a ceremonial ewer in the basin at the way-shrine's center and proceed to the next way-shrine."

"So these initiates had to lug around a heavy pitcher of water. Marvelous," snarked Serana.

"You're sounding like my wife," I quipped with a mild grin.

"Hey!" snapped Sofia. "I know that was an insult!"

"How long would they have to do that?" continued Serana.

"Well," said Gelebor with a patience that comes from living a very long time, if what information I was able to derive from events around me were accurate. "Once the Initiate's enlightenment was complete, he'd bring the ewer to the Chantry's Inner Sanctum. Pouring the contents of the ewer into the sacred basin of the Sanctum would allow him to enter for an audience with the Arch-Curate himself.

"All that just to end up dumping it out? Makes no sense to me," groaned Serana.

"It's symbolic," replied Gelebor. "I don't expect you to understand."

"So," continued Serana, trying to get her head around what was for me perfectly comprehensible in the symbolic meanings and riddles which are part and parcel of any good religious expression, designed to get people to think and thus exercise those bits of brain which ordinary life normally allows to atrophy. "We need to do all that nonsense to get into the temple, so we can kill your brother and claim Auriel's Bow?"

"I know how it sounds," continued Gelebor with a patience which, quite frankly, Serana, being a few millennia old herself, ought to have comprehended by now but somehow was lacking. "But if there was another way I would have done it long ago." Not that he hadn't gotten an awful lot of time to think about it. "The only way to get to my brother is by following in the initiates' footsteps and traveling from way-shrine to way-shrine just as they did." He paused. "The first lay at the end of Darkfall Passage, a cavern which represents the absence of enlightenment."

"How many more way-shrines are there?" I asked.

"There are five total," answered Gelebor. "Spread far apart across the Chantry."

"Are we going through another Blackreach then?" whined Sofia. "I hated that trip."

"At least it will be dark," offered Serana.

"I'm a glowing warm deep red rose that will wilt without sufficient sunlight," claimed Sofia.

"Well that's easy enough to believe given all the thorns you sport," retorted Serana.

"Ha ha," was Sofia's cheeky response. "You're just jealous."

"So are these caves then massive?" I queried.

"Caves?" replied Gelebor with just a slight grin. "Oh no. The Chantry encompasses far more than a few caves, as you'll soon discover." He walked over and clasped a very elaborate pitcher and handed it to me. "But before I send you on your way, you'll need the Initiate's Ewer."

I received the pitcher and looked at it. "So I need to fill this at each way-shrine?"

"Once you've located a way-shrine, there will be a spectral Prelate tending to it," answered Gelebor. "They will allow you to draw the waters from the shrine's basis as if you've been enlightened."

"Okay," I finished. "Looks like we'll be off then."

"This may be the last time we're able to converse," suggested Gelebor. "If you have any questions before you leave, I suggest you ask them. Otherwise, all I can do now is grant you my hopes for a safe journey."

There were more queries and questions. Serana had several things she wanted to know and Sofia wanted to find out any possible means by which we could accelerate the process. As it was we found out that the spectral prelates had been preserved by Auri-El to continue their duties and thus enable the Chantry to continue after they had been slaughtered by the Falmer. It was one of those subtle messages which the Gods sent which suggested that the present mess would one day be restored. The Chantry itself had been the epicenter of the Snow Elf worship of Auri-El. There had been temples to other of the Divines which the Snow Elves had been aware of. But they had their day in the First Era. But what I found interesting was that here was a living member who had living memories of what the Snow Elves had once been. And the history was fascinating. The Snow Elves had been in a near constant war with the Nords over the control of Skyrim and as the Snow Elves lost ground they turned to the Dwarves for help, for the two had maintained an alliance against the Nords. The Dwarves had agreed, at the cost of the Snow Elves eyes. I expressed a suspicion that not all the Snow Elves had agreed to this and Gelebor confirmed that many had refused. But in the end, all of them, save the Elves at the Chantry submitted or died. By the time the Chantry had found out, it was too late to intervene. And that had remained the situation until the Betrayed had swarmed the chantry and killed everyone save Gelebor and his brother.

It was a strange demand that the Dwarves had made and I had a hard time understanding why the Falmer had accepted it. Over the mountains were other lands, surely the Snow Elves could have found sanctuary with other elven kingdoms and lands. But when you are under pressure you don't always think clearly. I dipped the ewer into the water of the basin and a portal opened up and we stepped through. There was a brief set of tunnels which were illuminated by various phosphorescent fungi and other animals.

"That . . . Wasn't as unpleasant as I thought it would be," mused Serana. "Kind of soothing actually. I feel a little warmer now."

I made a mental note for this was the first time Serana had felt warmth when she wasn't in the present of a fire or in the sunlight.

And then the Falmer attacked. We spent the next hour fighting our way through yet another Falmer village.

"I never saw anything like this back on the island," mused Serana at one point.

"Why does that not surprise me?" I replied with a bit of grin. "Small island, big Tamriel, it stands to reason right?"

"Now Val," she sighed. "I happen to like expressing my enjoyment of new vistas."

"But we're looking at a Falmer village filled with Falmer corpses we just took out," I replied.

"But I never saw a wasted village of Falmer on the island either," she answered. "In fact," she continued with an impish grin on her face. "The only wasted thing I've seen up until now was Sofi after a night's drinking."

"Ha ha you are so funny please excuse me while I roll on the floor and hold my sides," was Sofi's cheeky reply.

The caves went on for a while but eventually we found what we were looking for. The next way-shrine.

"Here we go," mused Serana.

I walked up to the first of the specters.

"Welcome, Initiate," he said. "This is the Way-shrine of Illumination."

"Then who put out the lights?" snarked Sofia.

The prelate remained silent and smiling. I dunked the pitcher once the tower had risen to reveal the basin within. And then a portal opened up and we stepped through.

We stepped out into a snow covered valley which was as picturesque as one could want. From Serana's perspective there was the added bonus that it was night.

"This is incredible. It's like a whole other world. This is the kind of thing I've been wanting to see," sighed Serana. "Makes everything else worth it. Come on the bow has to be in this valley somewhere."

"We only have to look at all of it," came Sofi's cheek. "Do I have a few months free to do this? Looks like."

"Oh come on," argued Serana. "We've never been here before. This is all so brand new. Can't you get excited at how pretty it all is?"

"No," replied Sofia.

It was a beautiful vale we were looking at. And large. But thanks to our explorations of Darkfall cave, and the eastern edges of the valley, we were able to find the means by which we were able to reach our wagon and resupply when necessary. The exterior pass into the vale however was to narrow for the wagon and three of the way-shrines were at the far end of the vale. There was a very nice ice covered lake on the way which proved annoying because as we were crossing it two dragons burst out of it and we had to slip and slid our way to the shore avoiding their frost breaths so we might find firm footing to fight them. It had been the first time we had to face two dragons at once, and thankfully, it was also our last.

But there were dragon bones to transport back to the wagon and that took the rest of the day for us. And so that evening we were back in the wagon sitting around the wood stove just letting the exhaustion of the past two days work itself out of us.

"I have a new song," suggested Sofia. "I want you to hear it okay?"

"Sure," I replied.

"And . . . OKAY I know I'm not the best composer but . . . Be gentle with me?"

"I think I can manage that," I replied. I noted that for the first time that I could recall, Sofia was being less than her usual 'I'm perfect admire me or else' self.

She took a few swigs of mead I had secured from yet another secret compartment in the wagon. I had built a collection of those knowing that Sofia was always looking for the hidden cache's and wanted to make sure I could secure a few bottles and produce them when she least expected. I had long past abandoned hiding bottles in my backpack. She knew how to go through it while I was asleep. The trick was securing them when she wasn't around to note where I had gotten them. More than once in the wagon I had seen her looking under the mattress or the chair cushions and tapping the walls and floor. She began to sing in that clear crystal alto voice of hers.

"The sun has set, the dark appeared,  
Another cave, that was uncleared,  
A torch was lit, weapon sheathed,  
But she didn't know, when it was needed.

She walked right in, in a steady pace  
It was one of those other days  
When a cave was her home  
The cave was her home

To keep her warm the booze was near  
And made place for joy instead of fear  
Another night to overcome,  
In a cave that was her home,  
The cave was her home."

"Okay," she said exhaling.

I pondered for a moment. "This one is better," I began.

"Oh?" she said sitting up.

"There's a good pace to it," I said, "That ta da ta dah ta da ta dah followed by the Ta Daah, Daah Daah Ta Dah." I snapped my fingers out to mimic the rhythm. "We just need to polish it up a bit."

Serana leaned back and seemed intrigued. "I've never seen you compose before," she observed. "A new experience then?"

I began to work out the lyrics in my head and then chanted out,

"The sun / had set / the dark / appeared  
A brand / new cave / that was / uncleared.  
A torch / was lit / a blade / was sheathed.  
And she sighed / as she breathed,  
The cave / was her home.

She walked/ right in / with stead / y pace,  
The floor / was clear / she knew / her place,  
It was / a home / out of / the way,  
It was an / other day,  
The cave / was her home.

To keep / her warm / the booze / was near,  
A place / for joy / instead / of fear,  
A night / she would / soon o / vercome,  
In the cave / that was home,  
The cave / was her home."

"It's a sad song," mused Serana. "And the fourth line in the second verse, Val, it doesn't flow as well as the fourth lines in verses one and three."

"Everyone's a critic," I replied grinning. "I know I'll have to think on that one more before I am happy with it. But seriously Seri, these things take time. You can't just throw them together."

The last way-shrine was the hardest. We started by heading through a glacier, that is, through the cracks and crevices where Serana observed that the Falmer were better at making traps than they were at bridges. She found that strange. I did not since it's always been easier to destroy than build. The thing that made this particular settlement interesting was that for the first time the Falmer were living on the surface, and not inside of caves and Dwemer ruins. Of course they were not exactly the most elaborate of buildings, and they were constantly trying to kill us as we wove our way around, but eventually, we did get through the villages and towns and made our way to the Inner Sanctum. It was just behind the fifth way-shrine and Serana was once again just like a kid oohing and awing and letting us know she had never seen anything like it.

Of course neither had Sofi and I, but we had gotten used to seeing new things we had never seen before. Don't get me wrong, they were just as neat to me as they were no doubt neat to Serana. I just was taking it a bit more in stride. It was a beautiful facade on the outside. Reaching up the side of the cliff face with multitudes of windows and columns. And then I remembered how dark and grim Castle Volkihar was. For Serana, this was beauty. We went through the arch and found a great statue within, just as pristine as the rest of the building.

"This is a statue of Auriel," observed Serana. "But it's using the older signs of his power. This temple must be ancient."

"Wait," I said. "Seri, you were beddy bye for a millennium. And you say these are old?"

"They were old when I was awake," she replied. "This was before the Falmer were the Falmer and before the Dwarves had vanished." We began dashing up the stairs. "The bow has to be here," she said, her excitement climbing as fast as the stairs.

"You know the 'we're so screwed' moment is just seconds away," suggested Sofia.

"You're such an upbeat girl," suggested Serana.

"Coming from a woman with fangs?" replied Sofia. "I'll take that as a relative statement."

I poured the water into the basin at the top and it drained down a hole in the center, ran down a set of narrow troughs to a central star, and when that was filled, a light rose from it and the temple door opened.

"See how all the symbolism works, Seri?" I said.

"What?" replied Serana looking at me with bafflement.

"Never mind," I sighed. I didn't think we would have the time to explain just what all the symbolism that the jug, water, way shrines, and the opening of the temple door was suggesting. We walked in, our weapons out and spells prepped. For Sofi wasn't being just cynical in her 'we're so screwed' opinions. Our history with these things more than confirmed the moment would shortly arrive.

The interior of the temple looked a bit more shabby and what was particularly interesting, or macabre, or just plain unsettling, was that the central idol was surrounded by frozen falmer and chaurus.

"Frozen in the ice," muttered Serana.

"Best kind I can think of," replied Sofi.

"And I thought the Soul Cairn was creepy," Serana added.

"You think something is creepy?" replied Sofi with opened mouthed amazement.

"Why wouldn't I?" replied Serana.

"Well let's start out with your father's castle?" began Sofia.

"The castle wasn't creepy, it was just shabby," replied Serana. "If it had been properly cleaned up like it was when my mother still lived in it . . ."

"You think?" was Sofia's retort.

"Sarcasm noted," was Serana's reply.

The ewer continued to open the way for us, another bit of symbolism which I noted but Serana did not. In the mean time I noted that the various frozen statues of falmer were holding all sorts of very useful bits of gear for adventuring.

"Can you say 'trap'?" I queried.

There was no disagreement from the women and we pressed on, until we walked into the very back room of the chapel and found Vyrthur, surrounded by frozen falmer, and behind a force shield.

"You just know these falmer are all going to come to life when he makes the appropriate magical incantation," sighed Sofia. "The 'we are so screwed' moment has arrived."

"Did you really come here expecting to claim Auriel's Bow?" He asked us. "You've done exactly as I predicted and brought your fetching companion to me."

"I didn't know you knew who I was!" exclaimed Sofia. "I must be more famous than I originally thought!"

"Wait!" muttered Serana. "Is he talking about me?"

"No, he's talking about me!" retorted Sofia.

"Which I'm sorry to say, means your usefulness is at an end," He continued. Whereupon the frozen chaurus and falmer came to life.

"Do I know how to call 'em or WHAT?" cried Sofia as she started to unleash her firebolts and draw her blade.

"He was talking about me!" replied Serana as she began her flurry of firebolts and draining spells.

"Do you hear that Valentine?" retorted Sofia as she shattered a falmer with her blade.

It took me a moment to blanket the archway to the room with a set of two handed fireballs in order to keep more of the formerly frozen falmer and chaurus from coming into the room before I was able to reply, "I heard that!" and then refused to comment any further on the issue.

"I can't believe how vain you are!" continued Serana as she backed up and blasted another falmer head into ice cubes.

"An impressive display," mocked Vyrthur safely behind his force shield. "But you delay nothing but your own deaths."

"Watch out!" cried Serana looking up. "He's pulling down the ceiling!"

Of course the frozen falmer were snarling as they charged into the tumbling down mess which I was trying to ward off. I felt like I was doing nothing more than holding up one of those tiny paper umbrellas you can get in one of the more fancy drinking pubs in Leyawin. They come with the drink you see and it's the only place I know where they mix fruit juice and whiskey for these curiously sweet and flavorful . . . Wait . . . The ceiling is crashing down in the chapel of Auriel and what did Sofia just say? "Tell me something I don't know!" screamed Sofia at Serana as she ducked more and more of the falling chunks of stone which was coming down from above.

"Finish them!" cried Vyrthur to the falmer who were charging in. Rather silly gesture on his part since of course Falmer can't see and so they didn't have that ability to leap into spots in the chapel which had already been hit by falling bits of ceiling and accordingly had no more ceiling to fall upon them.

When you're an adventurer, you make note of these rules of physics. They frequently save your life. I pulled out my sword and shield since I was out of magicka and potions and commenced to whack away.

"This has gone on long enough!" shouted Vyrthur.

"Your life ends here Vyrthur!" replied Serana. She paused long enough to blow the head off another falmer.

"Proving hard to kill are we?" mocked Sofia. "Guess there's more to my beauty than you expected?" She blasted a falmer with her left hand and then finished it off with a whack from her sword.

"He was talking about ME!" screamed Serana draining a falmer of life essense.

"She wishes," was Sofia's dismissal of that remark as she swivel kicked a falmer down the stairs into a falling mass of masonry.

"Child," was Vyrthur's response. "My life ended long before you were born!"

We fought and bled and cast and blasted and burned. I lost track of the falmer I faced and broke up into fragments of ice. I became an automaton looking, targeting, closing, striking, bashing, noting my enemy was no longer there and turning to spy another. Lather Rinse Repeat. Suddenly there was no falmer I could see.

"No!" screamed Vyrthur. "I won't let you ruin centuries of preparations . . ."

"Surrender and give us the bow!" cried Serana.

I paused and looked at Sofia with amazement at what Serana had just said. She looked quizzically back at me.

"Death first!" was Vyrthur's reply. And with that he blew off the rest of the roof and knocked me over with it. It was an impressive display of power and I suspect the boom was heard miles away but to what point? Not really sure.

"You alright?" asked Serana who had remained standing as she helped Sofia and me up. "Come on, we can do this. I know we can. He's up there on the balcony. Come on!"

Weapons out we cautiously approached him. He stood there, glowering at us while holding his shoulder.

"Enough Vyrthur, give us the bow," said Serana. She remained remarkably cool and placid for this moment. Sofia and I were panting, our bodies rising and falling with each breath we took.

"How dare you," he snorted his defiance. "I was the Arch-Curate of Auri-El, girl. I had the ears of a god."

Well that helped explain why he had fallen. I remembered when I explained to Sofia that being Dragonborn barely made me more important than any other man or mer in Tamriel and next to the gods even that distinction was too small to matter. Some people need to quit taking themselves so seriously.

"Until the 'Betrayed' corrupted you. Yes, yes. We've heard this sad story," she replied.

"Gelebor and his kind are easily manipulated fools," was Vyrthur's mocking response. "Look into my eyes Serana. You tell me what I am."

The moment he said eyes, Sofi and I both knew what was coming, so we were busy looking at each other with that 'here it comes' expression while Serana said, "You're . . . you're a vampire? But Auriel should have protected you . . ."

"The moment I was infected by one of my own initiates, Auri-El turned his back on me. I swore I would have my revenge, no matter what the cost."

And there we had it. There were just so many things wrong with his conclusions. Was he supposed to be immune from the tricks of the Daedra? I didn't think so. Serana's naivety on what constituted protection by the Gods was understandable. But he should have known better. There was always a cure and he had refused it. Like Serana, he had refused it. He might not have even considered it.

"You want to take revenge . . . on a God?" was Serana's shocked response. It was somewhat shocking, simply from the futility of the gesture that was suggested. The gods are rather big and the idea that you can take one of them on is kind of silly, or would be if there was not so much pain and suffering associated with it. This mer may have destroyed any chance the Snow Elves had of rebuilding themselves. This had been the last enclave of un-betrayed and he had, as I now concluded, obviously had something to do with it.

"Auri-El himself may have been beyond my reach," replied Vyrthur. "But his influence on our world wasn't. All I needed was the blood of a vampire and his own weapon Auriel's Bow.

Serana repeated his words in a contemplative manner as things began to open up for her.

"It . . . It was you. You created that prophecy!" she stammered.

"A prophecy that lacked a single, final ingrediant . . . The blood of a pure vampire. The blood of a daughter of Coldharbor."

It all came crashing in on her. Here was the reason why her family had split up. Here was the reason why her happiness had been shattered. Here was standing the very reason why she had been sealed up in a tomb. To say she was angry was somewhat of an understatement. You don't want to be the focus of a Daughter of Coldharbor's anger. Trust me, it's really kind of scary.

"You were waiting . . . All this time . . . For someone with my blood to come along!" she cried. And with a single thrust, her hands went for his throat and she literally picked him off of the floor.

"Remind me Valentine, not to get on her bad side," was Sofia's response while she watched Vyrthur's feet dangle a foot off the floor.

"Well, too bad for you!" continued Serana. "I intend on keeping it. Let's see if your blood has any power to it!" And she threw him back and he exploded into a fiery mass of light.

"What trickery is this?" he cried as we closed in and finished him off.

"Farewell," he cried as he died.

I can't help but suspect that at the end, Akatosh himself added his say in the matter. A new dome opened up and there, standing before it, was Gelebor.

"So," he said sadly. "The deed has been done. The restoration of this way-shrine means that Vyrthur must be dead and the Betrayed no longer have control over him."

"The Betrayed weren't to blame," I said.

"What?" He cried. "What are you talking about?"

"He was a vampire," replied Serana. "He controlled them."

Gelebor took a second to assimilate this. "That would explain much," He mused. Then he found himself happy that the Betrayed were not at fault. It gave him hope that something of his people might some day rise out of the corruption and wretchedness they presently were in. He stepped aside and in the way-shrine was the bow. It seemed to be hand forged from a single piece of well tempered steel. It was not silvery per sae, but it did have some of that luster.

"It's . . . not as shiny as I was expecting," observed Serana.

"Given that's a little piece of the sun," I mused. "I find it interesting that you make that distinction," I replied.

"Still it's beautiful," she continued.

I smiled quietly to myself.

"It's time to face my father," she observed. "But if we head back to the castle and kick the door in, we're going to be knee deep in his friends."

"Better knee deep than neck deep," mused Sofia. "Get it? Neck?"

"You know the Dawnguard has been training for moments like this," I observed.

Serana nodded. "Isran, I'm betting he'll lend us a sword or two," she concluded.

That evening we rested in the wagon and the next morning we began the roll south towards High Hrothgar.

"Peace conference next?" queried Serana.

I nodded. "By now the forces will be gathering in Iverstead. I suspect each group will make the trip at about the same time but I don't see Ulfric giving a hand to Tullius over the slippery spots of the 'Let's Pretend It's 7,000 Steps' pathway. Especially if Elenwen joins the Imperial party."

Sofia sighed. "She's going to want to kill us."

"I plan on a formal apology," I replied. "Not that it will do much, but even so, I didn't walk into Skyrim planning on yanking the Thalmor's chains . . . much anyway."

"I did," answered Sofia.

"You yank everyone's chains," suggested Serana who was seated by us in spite of the fact that it was day. She was busy handling Auriel's Bow, looking at it, fingering it, gently examining all it's features.

"Of course," answered Sofia. "So why wouldn't I do the same to the Thalmor?" She turned to me and snuggled up to my arm, holding it with both her hands. "So what's the whole plan now?"

I pondered. "It will take time for the Dawnguard to prepare an assault on Castle Volkihar. So I suspect we'll go up High Hrothgar, then over to Castle Dawnguard, then back to Whiterun and capture the dragon. Then we'll have to see what needs being done next."

"I wish we could deal with my father quicker," sighed Serana. "Once he knows we've got the bow, he'll be chasing us until he catches us."

"There will come a point though," I suggested, "That when his vampire allies are sent out to find and kill us, they'll regard it as a death sentence."

"You mean they don't already?" quipped Sofi.

"I can't help but wonder if Stormcloak and Tullius are going to keep any truce you put together," sighed Serana.

"I think they will," I said with a smile.

"I hope so," she continued. "Given the plans you made with the two of them, it should work, so much depends on how much hatred has been allowed to build."

I nodded. "They're both soldiers," I observed. "And soldiers know that they might have to face each other on the battlefield one day, and then fight side by side the next. I'm counting on that knowledge they both have to keep things from exploding out of control."

"Yeah but you have Galmar," observed Serana. "He did not strike me as the contemplative sort."

And so we continued retracing our route back to the main roads and down past Rorikstead and on to Whiterun. It was a two day trip in all. I was half tempted to suggest we go see Paarthurnax afterwards if we could but given that Sofia was already starting to complain about having to climb up that mountain Yet Again and Serana worried about her blood potion allowance I figured the smart move was to get up and back down as fast as possible. As it was, we had an entirely new pile of gems and jewelry and enchanted weapons in the trunk of the wagon and I quickly exhausted the gold that the merchants of Whiterun were willing to part with when we got there. But of course I bought up all the herbs I could while Sofia tried to buy up all the mead. Then we headed out into the Tundra and spent a day bagging deer for blood potions.

From there it was a wagon ride to Iverstead and then up the Throat so that on the morning of the 27th of Morning Star, a Tirdas if I remember correctly, we gathered for the peace conference.

Delphine and Esbern of the blades were there, staring at Elenwen of the Thalmor who had come with the Imperials. The Stormcloaks were busy staring at the Imperials and Thalmor and the Greybeards were staring at everyone.

"War might break out any any moment," suggested Sofia with a rather smug grin, as everyone moved towards the table, hands on various weapons or flexing for the casting of magic. "This might turn out rather fun."

Adventures have these curious moments in them.


	28. Chapter 28 - A Song For Odahviing

"So that's settled then," sighed Sofia as Elenwen walked away from the table with Legate Rikke. "I thought for a minute there was going to be some serious trouble," she continued. "Never have I been so disappointed," she sighed.

I paused to think with annoyance at the ultimatum Delphine had just given me vis a vis Paarthurnax.

"Oh well we still have a dragon to trap at Dragonsreach which should be a little more interesting," finished Sofia.

The peace conference could have gone better and it could have gone worse. It had started out embarrassing enough when I had rounded the corner and come face to face with Elenwen.

"We meet again," she observed with a cool panache which suggested a cold wind far worse that what was blowing outside. "But this time I know who you really are."

"For what it's worth," I said with a bit of a sigh. "I'm sorry about busting up your party, along with your Solar and Bedroom . . . And killing your chief investigator . . . And four of your guards . . . And freeing all those criminals in your dungeons . . . And the fire yes, that was mine too. . . And yes, Razelan's scene where he suggested you were a slut was my idea as well."

"And he failed to let you know that the privy in the back needs cleaning," added Sofia smiling very sweetly.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" she replied. "You saying your sorry?"

"You have to understand," I continued. "The Blades and I did not know the history of Alduin. It was thought you might be behind it given it seemed to be benefiting you. Had we known that dragons were happily incinerating Summerset as well, then I never would have come to that party."

She gave me one of those looks women give when what appears to be the obvious solution to the dilemma I had sketched is presented to her."

"All you had to do was ask," she observed.

"And if you had been behind the dragons," I replied. "Would you have admitted it? More importantly, had I not come and you had gotten to Esbern first, would you have told me? It was after all, Esbern's knowledge which enabled me to meet and defeat Alduin on the top of this very mountain. I never would have been able to do that without him."

She was silent for a moment. That angle to the whole affair had not been considered by her.

"Politics," she sighed. "Makes things far more complicated than they are worth."

We parted with her oblivious to the fact that this conference would be the first stage in my 'Screw the Thalmor' strategy behind the scenes of it.

Ulfric and Tullius played their parts well, not that they needed much coaching nor the need to act. We all knew how this was going to be played out given the personalities involved. Ulfric started by demanding that Elenwen be expelled. I argued that as the dragons were as much of a threat to the Thalmor as the rest of us, she needed to remain so that there would be no misunderstandings. That of course made her think I was trying to make up for all the trouble I had given her at the party and put her guard down a little. Ulric and Galmar were of course offended so I had to promise them that the Empire would have to pay with a concession later. Then Ulfric demanded that the Empire turn over Markarth. Tullius replied that this was way more than Elenwen's presence was worth and I replied that perhaps he had a point and suggested Riften as an exchange. Had I been thinking, I would have proposed Falkreith instead. And the moment I found out that Maven Black Briar would be replacing Lelia Law Giver not only did I regret that suggestion, but began to speculate on a letter to my mother asking her what constituted a Night Mother Ritual. Now Lelia was not the the most aromatic incense in the temple, but while Lelia suffered from an acute naivety and faithful trust in her subordinates she made up for it with a desire to do good to her people. Maven lacked that and further exacerbated matters by having equal parts snake to her brains. But when it came down to it, Markarth and Riften were of equal status and the Stormcloaks were still annoyed with Elenwen's presence and stood up to walk out.

It was at this point that Esbern stood up and soothed the ruffled feathers. Ulfric agreed to stay provided Falkreith be turned over. As I regarded Jarl Sidgear as only slightly less annoying than Maven, I was happy to endorse that concession as the balance of decency and integrity had been addressed.

Both sides accordingly agreed to the peace treaty for the duration of the Alduin crises and parted somewhat calmly outside of Elisif calling Ulfric a murdering bastard in tone and volume certain to reach most of Skyrim. Sofia, never having been in such a large gathering of important and powerful people wasn't sure who she could safely offend so remained somewhat quiet while Serana played the 'I'm just a little silly ignorant girl nothing to see here move along don't worry about my glowing red eyes please' role quite masterfully.

Of course this was before Delphine informed me that if I wanted further cooperation from the Blades, I was to kill Paarthurnax. I gave her as diplomatic a suggestion as to where she could put her particular akaviri blade as I was able to muster. I was horribly disappointed about that. The Blades were one of the few groups I had an acute hero worship attachment to.

Once the room was empty, and Sofia had expressed her disappointment that blood had not been shed, she turned to Serana. "You think we could have taken them?" she asked.

"I don't know about what impact the Greybeards shouting would have produced," mused Serana. "But I suspect I could have sucked General Tullius dry before Legate Rikke could have responded. But if you want my real opinion, the good tasting one was clearly Galmar."

"Yeah I like him too," sighed Sofia. "Not that I would have objected to Ulfric making a frontal assault upon my center."

"Why do I think there's a double meaning to that?" queried Serana.

"You have such a dirty mind," replied Sofia. "I say the most innocent things . . ."

And so we walked down the mountain with the girls speculating on how many of them they could have killed before numbers would have overwhelmed us.

A couple of weeks later, a drunken Legate Rikke burbled out in the Winking Skeever that Ulfric's Stormcloaks were going to have a very public worship of Talos in Markarth. For some 'inexplicable' reason, word reached the Thalmor within twenty four hours and Elenwen demanded that General Tullius do something about it. Tullius responded by pointing out that there was a truce going on but as the Thalmor were not bound by the ceasefire, nothing was stopping her. A very large force of Thalmor marched out to deal with the Markarth situation and were ambushed by a very large contingent of Stormcloaks in the passes of the Reach. It was almost as if the Stormcloaks knew they were coming. It was said that none of the Thalmor escaped. A few weeks later, there was another worship ceremony, even bigger, in Falkreith. Elenwen was forced to request reinforcements from Summerset in order to address this and half of them were slaughtered when they tried to force Pale Pass coming up from Cyrodiil. Again, the Stormcloaks seemed to have known the route they were taking and what's more, were augmented by quite a number of new and enthusiastic volunteers. Then they chased Stormcloak leads all over Falkreith being persistently sniped at from behind the trees and rocks of that forested mountainous Jarldom. They never found the ceremony and lost even more men trying to extract themselves. By the end of the year Elenwen would be replaced but the new ambassador would end up being killed himself when he made the mistake of trying to conduct his own investigations of Talos worship in Dawnstar.

What could the Thalmor do? The Stormcloaks were in rebellion against the Empire and the Empire could not be held responsible for rebel behavior now could it? While Alduin would shortly be settled, that did not mean that the dragons stopped showing up, in fact they set themselves out as planning to be around for a very long time, and as immortal creatures, a very long time means A Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Long Time. Accordingly it 'made sense' to keep the cease fire in effect.

In short, Operation Screw the Thalmor promised to be a very successful bit of intrigue which had the additional benefit of slowly cooling the passions that the Nords had been building up against the Empire, for Ulfric 'very grudgingly' would admit that the ceasefire with the Empire was making this open defiance of the White-Gold Treaty possible, and the cease fire legally bound the Empire's hands from directly enforcing it themselves. And as the Thalmor had been present at the negotiations and had placed their approval on the treaty, they couldn't hold that against the Empire either.

I remember when I told my mother about it a few months later after things had settled down and I was able to travel back to the Imperial City.

"I'm so proud of you," she said.

In the meantime, we had a dragon to trap, another dragon to put down, and a vampire to fry. We headed for Whiterun and pulled the wagon in right behind Jarl Balgruuf who had been at the peace conference. Naturally I had a chat with him and we paid a visit to a certain guard captain who found himself seriously unemployed and in jail shortly thereafter. Then we walked up to the palace. Jarl Balgruuf requested that I sit and wait for a moment while he conferred with Irileth. And once she returned and nodded he turned to me and said, "We're ready Dragonborn. Just say the word."

I sighed and looked first at Sofia who was busy munching on a bit of bread. She looked back at me over the bread which she was in the process of taking a bite off of.

"You ready?" I asked her.

She paused and chewed her bite thoughtfully.

"You will be needing a kiss?" she asked me. Her tone suggested something had shifted in her thinking. It suggested that she wanted one too.

"I guess I will," I said with a smile.

She leaned over and gave me a very gentle sort of kiss, soft and sweet.

"Okay," she said. "I'm ready now."

"Sofia," observed Serana. "How many dragons have we taken down?"

"This is different," replied Sofia. "This one really is going to count."

I looked at Serana for a moment.

"Damn!" I muttered.

"Now what?" said both girls almost simultaneously.

"Jarl Balgruuf?" I asked, turning to him. "Do you have any prisoners condemned to die?" Never in my life had I said something so stupid.

"Oh that's right," sighed Serana. "Damn," she muttered to herself. Then her eyes went wide when she thought about what I had just said and what it implied.

"What has that got to do with trapping a dragon?" asked Jarl Balgruuf, quite understandably mystified.

"Well it's . . ." and then it dawned on me what I was about to say. "Nothing," I finished. "It's nothing really. Just a sort of good luck thing we do, the three of us before we have a big fight."

For once in my life, I had been the one to open my big mouth. Serana looked at me with not a little concern. Sofia likewise realized what we had just let slip.

"Dragonborn?" began the Jarl with a little concern upon his face. "Not to intrude upon your personal life but what does a condemned criminal have to do with good luck?"

"It would take longer to explain than just do it and it's not necessary," suggested Serana quietly to Jarl Balgruuf. I had to admit, the girl knew how to keep her cool in the most awkward of situations.

"This isn't some sort of Daedric ritual," suggested Irileth in a voice which was low and menacing.

Irileth was closing in on the truth way faster than I could have anticipated. I realized I had gotten us into this mess and now I was going to have to get us out. And telling a fiction at this point was going to be a very bad idea. Balgruuf and Irileth were way too smart and savvy to be easy to deceive. Too much was at stake. And besides, I was totally stumped for a way out of it.

"We need to talk privately," I suggested to both Jarl Balgruuf and Irileth.

Serana began to twitch very nervously.

"Trust me," I said turning to her.

"You had better know what you're doing," she said.

Jarl Balgruuf and Irileth looked at each other and nodded.

"This way," Irileth suggested, pointing to the doorway to the left of the throne which led into the dungeons. Once we were through there was an empty room. They looked at me for a moment.

"You came close, Irileth," I sighed. "When you opined the possibility of a Daedric ritual, because that is the cause of our little 'good luck' practice."

"Who are you worshipping?" began Irileth quietly and with not a little anger.

"No one," I said. "Just because a Daedric ritual was the cause of it does not mean we are worshipping any of the Daedra.

"Val . . ." began Serana. Sofia instinctively placed her arm out in front of Serana, almost as a gesture of protection.

"Then what . . ."

"Trust me Serana," I said. "If this turns out bad, my life is yours to do with what you will."

"Valentine!" cried Sofia.

"Val I can't possibly . . ."

"What is the meaning of this!" snapped Irileth.

I took a deep breath. "One thousand and five hundred years ago," I began. "A family made a pact with Molag Bal. As part of that pact, they offered their 17 year old daughter to him."

Irileth was right on the money and she automatically looked at Serana.

"The girl survived that awful ritual," I continued. "But only as a Daughter of Coldharbor."

"Daughter of Coldharbor . . ." began Jarl Balgruuf.

"That's our friend," I finished. "Serana, who will be assisting us in dealing with Odahviing today."

Both of the them looked at Serana with a bit of horror.

"Daughter of Coldharbor," was Irileth's stern assessment. "That means you're a vampire!"

"Vampire!" exclaimed Jarl Balgruuf. "But it's broad daylight out!"

"You asked for a condemned criminal to . . ." began Irileth thinking. "So she could feed on him."

I sighed and nodded. "There's a vampire in another Jarl's court whom the Jarl can trust with their life," I said. "And they keep that vampire in part because they protect the Jarl but they also perform the executions on those who are condemned to die. So it's not without precedent in Skyrim. But if Serana had been able to consume the blood of a human being, she would be able to look up in the sky while we fight this dragon. As it is, she won't be able to assist as much."

"And you trust your life to this Monster!" exclaimed Balgruuf.

Sofia was, for what I thought one of the first times of her life, acting as if she fully intended to protect Serana from any possible peril. Irileth noted that and her eyes narrowed suspiciously. As for Serana. I had no idea what emotions were playing across her features, she had taken on a completely neutral face. But I had no illusions that inside she was churning.

"Bring in Farengar and have him cast dispel magic on us," I offered. "You will see she has not enthralled us. And she was behind me the whole time during the peace conference."

"I think I will," concluded Jarl Balgruuf. "This has gotten far far more dangerous now."

He walked out and Irileth, her hand on her sword hilt, stood between us and the exit.

"You had to open your big fat mouth!" shouted Sofia. "Seri's in trouble now and we might not be able to do this."

"I know I know," I said swinging my arms in anger and frustration.

The door opened again and Jarl Balgruuf, holding an amulet of Arkay, came in with Farengar.

"Let's see, let's see," began Farengar. "Oh! The Jarl's protégée, you're still alive . . . It seems. But if you were a Daughter of Coldharbor that would make sense now wouldn't it . . ."

"I'm not talking about the Dragonborn," groaned Balgruuf. "How can a man who is Dragonborn be a Daughter of Coldharbor?"

"Oh yes, now I see," continued Farengar walking over to Serana and giving her a very analytical eyeing up and down. "Note the ruby gemstone quality color of the eyes, and how the skin, in spite of it's pale color seems to be in the prime of health? Yes yes, if I may take your hand for a moment?" He continued looking at Serana.

She just stood there almost statuesque, her face utterly neutral.

"Well then if I may," he continued picking up her hand, "Yes, definitely not generating any heat but feeling rather cold. This is in fact a very beautiful specimen of a Daughter of Coldharbor."

For a brief instant I could see Serana twitch.

"Can you imagine," mused Farengar walking around her and talking almost to himself. "What sort of things this woman has experienced in her life. To have lived over a thousand years if I heard correctly. What are the stories she could tell?"

"Is she a threat to the security of the Hold?" demanded Balgruuf.

"Well that depends on what sort of character she has," replied Farengar. "Unlike lower classes of Vampire, Daughters of Coldharbor and those vampires that they can create, can control their blood cravings and in the right circumstances, be beneficial to the hold. In fact a treatise written by Sybille Stentor of Haafinger over a century ago made that very argument and from what the history books on magic have suggested, created quite a stir when she did. Pity she's no longer alive. What a fascinating character she must have been."

"I . . . knew Sybille," suggested Serana very soft and politely. "She was my friend in fact."

"I need to know that they are not enthralled!" demanded Balgruuf.

"Oh yes, of course," replied Farengar coming back to the present. He expressed his magicka and a gentle white light played off of our features.

"Under no magical illusions what so ever," replied Farengar. "These two are not enthralled in the least."

"Then . . . How can you . . ." began Balgruuf looking at the two of us, Sofi and me that is.

"My Jarl," I said with a sigh. "It would take a very long and food filled dinner party to explain the full story of how we came to know . . . and love . . . Serana."

"Love?" exclaimed Balgruuf, "But Sofia's your wife!"

"Not that kind of love!" snapped Sofia. "If it was I'd kill him dead so fast!"

"You trust Irileth with your life?" I asked the Jarl.

"Of course!" he replied back.

"Why?"

"We stood back to back against our common foes!" he replied. "She never let me down when the greatest of perils lay before us."

"Well it's the same with Sofia and me," I replied. "Serana has been there with us against everything Skyrim could throw against us, including dragons."

"Irileth? Farengar? Come with me! We need to discuss this!" He turned to me not a little put out. "Return to your house Dragonborn. I will summon you when we've decided what needs to be done."

I nodded and we walked back out and towards our home.

"You . . . You have humiliated me and we might have to fight our way out of here and flee and . . . And!" began Serana suddenly exploding in anger once we got into the house.

"I'm sorry," I struggled to express. "I'm so sorry . . . You deserved none of that. I opened my damn fool mouth because I was not thinking and . . ." I walked over and placed my hand on Sofia's shoulder. Lydia stood over by the kitchen table quietly waiting.

Serana struggled herself for a moment.

"I . . . I forgive you Val," she said. "I'm just so . . ."

"Yes yes yes," I sighed. "We're in one oblivion filled moment of extreme awkwardness and I may have just destroyed our chances of catching this dragon." I gave Sofia's shoulders a squeeze and then walked over to the door and began to pound upon it with my fists.

It seemed to be hours before there was a knock on the door. Lydia walked over and opened it up.

"My Jarl?" she queried and we all stood up and waited for our fate to be pronounced.

He looked at the three of us standing there, with Irileth and Farengar beside him.

"I have," he sighed. ". . . walked into the middle of an adventure it seems. What was just a civil war has turned into a story that they will tell through the centuries. The dragons come back, Alduin the world eater himself leads them. A messanger boy comes in and turns out to be Dragonborn. And the Greybeards summon him. The next thing I know rumors of him come from all corners of Skyrim. Riften talks about how he made the very town shake. Solitude speaks of how he destroyed Potema the Wolf Queen risen from the dead. But then he gets Tullius and Ulfric to stand down. I don't know how you do it Dragonborn. But if you can take a trouble making girl who was giving my town guard no end of headaches with her brawling and husband stealing and public nudity and horse thieving and make her your wife and civilize her . . ."

"Hey!" began Sofia.

"I suppose you can keep a vampire's teeth out of the necks of my people," He finished. "Now regarding that dragon . . . We're ready Dragonborn, just say the word."

"Are you ready then," I asked. "To spring the trap on the dragon?"

"As I promised, my men stand ready. The great chains are oiled. We wait on your word."

"I'm ready," I said with a release of breath that marked a great sigh of relief. "Come on Seri. Come on Sofi. Let's go trap a dragon."

"My men know what to do. Make sure you do your part. I'm putting my city in your hands."

Serana walked over and looked quite intently at Jarl Balgruuf.

"You are not known as The Great without reason," she said. "You have given me a chance to prove my worth to the people of Whiterun and I won't let you down."

"Just . . . Just . . ." began Jarl Balgruuf. "Never mind . . ."

We stepped outside into the twilight.

"Val!" cried Serana. "Look!" She dropped her hood. Once again, things seemed to have worked out to our benefit. We would challenge Odahviing at a time when Serana would be able to look into the sky with impunity.

"Why didn't I think of this before!" I cried waving my hands in the air.

"There's not enough mead in your diet," suggested Sofia.

"Well of course," mused Serana with a slight grin. "Val simply does not get drunk enough."

"See?" crowed Sofia triumphantly. "Even Seri agrees with me."

"You two are impossible!" I snorted.

Meanwhile Irileth and Jarl Balgruuf and Farengar were watching us with intense curiosity.

Once again we entered the palace, walked up the stairs behind the throne in the great Court Hall, and out the back into the grand open portico. I stepped out onto the balcony and looked about. Everyone was ready. There were looks of nervousness and trepidation in most of them. Irileth was grim. Farengar was hopping a bit. And Jarl Balgruuf was standing in front of them.

"Go ahead and call this dragon of yours," he suggested. "We're ready."

I motioned to Sofia and Serana, and when they came up we gave each other a brief group hug and then I kissed Sofia one more time.

"We ready?" I asked.

"No, but that never stopped us before," suggested Sofia.

"Let's do this," whispered Serana.

"You do have a plan for luring that dragon here, yeah?" asked the Jarl.

"I do," I said as I turned and faced the sky. "O!" "Dah!" "Viing!"

For a second. There was silence. Then he came out of the north and dove straight for us.

"Here he comes!" I shouted.

"That's a monster!" cried Jarl Balgruuf. I had forgotten he had not been present at the last dragon attack at the watchtower.

"Kynnareth save us!" cried one of the guards who's voice sounded familiar. "Here we go again!" Which promptly informed me that he had been one of the guards at the watchtower.

Odahviing swept by the watch tower and snagged one of the guards with one of his claws and deftly tossed him over the balcony before heading off to the south. He was followed by a flurry of fire bolts from Sofia and me and ice spikes from Serana and arrows from the guards.

"Steady!" cried the Jarl. "Steady now!"

Odahviing dove by the balcony again while two guards took a couple of shots at him with their bows.

"Val?" shouted Serana. "How are we going to trap this dragon if he won't get near the chains?"

"We have to lure him into this foyer!" I shouted back.

"Maybe if we all moon him?" suggested Sofia.

Odahviing suddenly began to hover one hundred strides from the balcony.

"You can't be serious!" shouted Serana back to Sofia.

"Still afraid everyone will think mine's better looking?" challenged Sofia.

A massive wave of fire engulfed the balcony which nearly got Jarl Balgruuf but Serana, with a speed which came from her preternatural strength, swooped behind the Jarl and caught him in her arms and swung him out of the way. I noticed that he looked in shock and amazement at her for a moment, and she gave him a little nod and dashed out into the center of the Balcony and looked up. And promptly dashed back in under cover as yet another gout of flame came down from above.

"He's on the roof of the palace blowing down!" she shouted.

He swooped down and hovered in front of the balcony again.

"Dovahkiin!" He cried. "Here I am!"

"Come and get him!" shouted Sofia. "Or are you scared of what we'll do wid you?" she added with a mocking tone.

"I claim the glory of your defeat Dovahkiin!" Odahviing cried back.

"Hey!" shouted Sofia. "I'm the one talking to you!"

"How can you upstage Valentine at a time like this?" cried Serana.

"He's gotta learn it from someone!" replied Sofia. "Otherwise who'll look up to him?"

Odahviing filled the foyer with flame again. Guards were screaming Irileth was looking totally frizzled and Jarl Balgruuf was looking more than a little unnerved.

"Keep under cover now until it's down," he screamed.

"Okay!" shouted Serana. "If upstaging is what has to be done, watch from the master!" and bat wings sprang from her back and fur covered her face and she became air born.

"Gyah!" went not only one of the guards.

I had remembered her grumbling in Windhelm about turning into a big bat and flitting about laughing in evil cackles, but I presumed she had been speaking in metaphor. Then it dawned upon me that Harkon's transformation had also been bat like in form. Serana's however, was a bit more attractive, in so far as big black bats could be attractive. I mean lets face it, some of the smaller ones' as they try to climb up the wall of your home can look kind of cute in a small fuzzy way unlike fuzzy spiders the same size who totally fail to look kind of cute when they are crawling up the wall. Swooping by your nose and missing it by inches is not when bats are looking their best I'll grant.

"Daughter of Coldharbor!" cried Odahviing. "You shall not get drunk on my blood!" He unleashed another great gout of flame which Serana deftly avoided as she shot up past him, banked, and then swooped in behind and dived for his head. His bellowing rage suggested to me that while she had not 'latched' on, she had taken a very deliberate bite as she had swooped by his neck and flown right into the foyer. He dived in after her as I saw her once again start to take human form. There was something off about the transformation but I was too busy focusing on Odahviing to realize just what was happening.

"Hey!" shouted Sofia. "Not fair!"

"Bet you can't do that!" mocked Serana to Sofia.

And Odahviing was once more engulfing everyone in front of him with his fire. Everyone was shouting and screaming and diving for cover to either side but that great Dragon charged right into the foyer and the guards who had been responsible for releasing the trap did so perfectly. The great wood yoke came down and the great iron prongs closed around the dragon's neck and he was caught.

There was a moment of silence as I scanned the face of Odahviing.

"Well," came Sofia's voice from behind me in a musing contemplative manner. "Your behind is almost as cute as mine, but not entirely."

I turned and suddenly realized, along with Serana who let loose a horrified shriek, that when she had transformed she had lost her armor, in fact she had lost all articles of clothing that she had been wearing prior to her transformation. And it had not come back when she had returned to human form. Most of the Nord's had the courtesy of turning their backs on her. And I did too. I just unfortunately failed to recognize what had actually happened for a second and so I was a little behind the rest of the Nords regarding Serana's rather shapely behind.

"Quit staring at her YOU PERVERT!" screamed Sofia to me.

"I wasn't staring!" I shouted back.

"Give me something to wear please!" cried Serana. "Oh by the blood I'm so . . . Augh!"

"Just a second," suggested Sofia who was not above milking this for all it was worth. "Don't lose your panties now."

"Rather ironic comment don't you think?" I suggested keeping my gaze firmly on Odahviing.

"This isn't FUNNY, Val!"

"It will be eventually," I proposed.

"I hate you, Val," she hissed.

"Valentine?" queried Sofia. "Where's Serana's backpack? She's got all her little red . . ."

Serana screamed again.

I sighed, unclasped my cloak, and began to back up towards where Serana's voice had emanated. It would have been very gentlemanly and elegant and chivalrous had I not tripped and fallen backwards landing on the flat of my back and staring right up at Serana who promptly covered my eyes with her foot, not entirely gently either. The problem was, as she quickly realized, that she could not keep my eyes covered with her foot while reaching for my cloak which was also on the floor with me.

"My eyes are closed now," I said.

"You promise! You swear to your last drop of blood?" Serana replied.

"Yes," I replied.

Her foot came off. I lifted the cloak up and she snagged it almost immediately the moment she could. I rolled over on my stomach, got up and once again tried to get my bearings so I would not be looking in Serana's direction.

"I think it's holding," suggested one of the guards looking at Odahviing.

"Nid!" cried Odahviing.

"Incredible," mused Farengar who came walking up at this juncture.

I walked up to Odahviing, right behind Farengar, and looked at the dragon in the eye.

"Good fight," I suggested. "You nearly beat us."

"Zok frini grind ko grah drun vikii, Dovahkiin. Zu'u bonaar. You went to a great deal of trouble to put me in this . . . humiliating position," groaned Odahviing.

"I don't like sucking Dragon souls," I replied. "Seems to me that anything that speaks and keeps it's word at all times deserves a certain amount of respect and honor. Especially when so many of my fellow humans and mer don't keep theirs. So I prefer trapping alive to killing. But in this case, it was vitally important that we trap you."

"Hind siiv Alduin, hmmm? No doubt you want to know where to find Alduin," suggested Odahviing.

"Not to mention the high degree of intelligence you all possess," I added. "So naturally yes, you have correctly guessed my motives for trapping you. So where is he hiding right now?"

"Is he always this complimentary to his foes?" queried Jarl Balgruuf to Serana. He had pulled off his outer long vest and given it to her in an effort to help her cover up. He correctly had deduced that she had deliberately sought to protect him personally during the fight and he was prepared to honor that. She slipped the vest under my cloak and was wearing my cloak backwards so she was completely covered down to her knees. I had to admit her feet were rather cute looking as it had been the first time I had seen them out of her boots. They were, like her face, pale and wan, but her toes were evenly spaced.

"Yes," she replied. "It's how we keep our enemies list to a manageable level. But he also speaks as highly of his friends and especially Sofia who doesn't always deserve it."

"I heard that Seri!" replied Sofia. "You're just jealous my bottom is cuter than yours now that all doubt has been removed."

"I don't think I need to know the story behind that comment," sighed Jarl Balgruuf. "But given her past history I suspect I can guess very well."

"Rinik vazah, an apt phrase," replied Odahviing. "Alduin bovul. One reason I came to your call was to test your Thu'um for myself. Many of us have begun to question Alduin's lordship, whether his Thu'um was truly the strongest."

"But isn't he still the First Born of Akatosh?" I asked. "Surely that merits some honor."

"Honor yes, but dominion?" replied Odahviing. "Our concerns are expressed privately among ourselves of course. Mu ni meyye. None are yet ready to openly defy him."

"You were telling me where to find Alduin?" I continued the questioning.

"Unslaad krosis. Innumerable pardons. I digress," replied Odahviing. "He has traveled to Sovngarde to regain his strength, devouring the sillesejoore . . . the souls of the mortal dead. A privilege he jealously guards . . . His door to Sovngarde is at Skuldafn, one of his ancient fanes high in the eastern mountains. Mindoraan, pah ok middovahhe lahvraan til. I surely do not need to warn you that all his remaining strength is marshaled there."

"No doubt," I replied. "No doubt." I paused and pulled out my map and began to examine it. There was very little to indicate where exactly this fane was to be found.

"Zu'u lost afan hin laan . . . Now that I have answered your question, you will allow me to go free?" asked Odahviing.

I looked at him.

"You have not sworn allegiance to me," I observed. "Nor have you offered service. Accordingly you could, upon being released, be free to honorably return to Alduin, report upon our knowledge of his whereabouts and face us yet again. So you will remain here until Alduin is defeated."

"Hmm . . . Krosis . . . There is one detail about Skuldafn I neglected to mention," suggested Odahviing.

"Cheeky," commented Sofia. "Cheeky dragon."

I smiled and looked back at Sofia and winked. She gave me a little grin back. I could not believe just how intense my love for her felt at that moment. It was one of those times when my arms literally ached to hold her in them. I continued to smile at her for another second and she tilted her head back and looked at me under the rim of her eyes.

"Tell me what you know then," I said, after turning back to Odahviing.

"Only this," he said. "You have the Thu'um of a dovah, but without the wings of one you will never set foot in Skuldafn."

"Very clever," I observed. "You are a most formidable foe. Even now you still fight."

"Of course I could fly you there, but not while imprisoned like this."

"No doubt," observed Jarl Balgruuf who was slowly getting closer to Odahviing. After all, it wasn't every day that a person got the opportunity to speak to a living dragon who's age went into the first Era, if not the mythic times. "Do you expect us to take your word for that?"

"Ahraan, you wound me Jarl. I may not tell the whole truth, but I am no liar."

"Dragons will not lie," I explained. "They value words more than life itself. We can trust him."

"Go and see for yourself," replied Odahviing to Jarl Balgruuf. "Zu'u ni bo nol het. I will be here. Unless Alduin returns before you do."

"I have a hold to manage," replied the Jarl. "I will take the Dragonborn's word for it. For all his challenges to my view of sanity, he has yet to prove wrong."

I turned and noted that Farengar was literally straining at the bit.

"Well," I said to him. "You have your chance to talk to the genuine live dragon. I won't be flying off to Skuldafn tonight."

Farengar almost dashed forward and began talking. "Uh, sir," he said. "You have no idea how long I have waited for such an opportunity. I would be most appreciative if you would allow me to perform some, ah, tests upon you. Purely in the interests of the advancement of knowledge."

"What?" I queried.

"This is gonna be a HOOT!" laughed Sofia. "Yes, this will be so funny I gotta see!"

"Sofi!" cried Serana looking nerviously at both Sofia and Odahviing and Farengar. Her eyes were almost vibrating they were shifting so fast.

"Begone Mage," growled Odahviing. "Do not test my promise to the Dovahkiin."

"I assure you," continued Farengar who was now working his way around the back of the dragon. "You will not even notice me. Most of them are hardly painful at all to a large dragon such as yourself."

"Painful?" I asked. "Farengar what are you thinking of? This isn't some laboratory cat here."

"Farengar, very bad idea, even for you." Irileth suggested.

"Surely you wouldn't miss a few scales or a small amount of blood," continued Farengar.

"Yes, this is so awesome funny!" squealed Sofia with an almost childish delight.

"Joor mey. What are you doing back there? Yor Tool Shul!" cried Odahviing as his head arched up and he filled the rafters with fire.

Fortunately that frightened Farengar sufficiently that he dashed off while Sofia just leaned against the wall and giggled much to Serana's shock and annoyance.

I turned to Odahviing.

"Sorry about that. I had no idea he would be so demeaning in behavior. I'll be flying you to Skuldafn tomorrow morning first thing," I said. "Then you will be free to go."

The dragon nodded and we headed out of the palace.

Sofia sighed wistfully and Serana was quiet.

"We'll see about getting something on you when we get back," I said.

"I had completely forgotten about that quality of transformation," sighed Serana.

"You really don't need to worry about it," suggested Sofia. "While your body is not as good as mine, it's not without it's charms and pretty vistas. I wouldn't mind looking at it."

"Thanks," muttered Serana. "That's just what I wanted to hear."

"No problem," answered Sofia.

We walked into Breezehome and Lydia informed Serana that the second bed in the spare bedroom had been made up for her. She thanked Lydia but said she would be sleeping in the wagon. Lydia looked at me askance for a second and I promised her I would explain it shortly. I waited for Serana to leave and then I told Lydia all about Serana's need to sleep in a coffin. Lydia understood and kind of felt a little sheepish because she admitted that it was easy to forget that Serana was a vampire. Then I went upstairs to join Sofia who had already informed me she would be in bed.

When I walked into our upstairs bedroom it was clear that Sofia was in a love making mood. All that she had covering her was a fur coverlet which she rather neglectfully had placed somewhat over her torso. She was on her side postured towards me with her face fixed on mine. Her expression seemed a bit sad and lonely.

"Sofi girl," I said almost in a whisper. "What's the matter?"

"Well you caught the dragon," she sighed. "Now I guess you'll be heading to Sovngarde but luckily only as a guest and not as a permanent resident. I guess I'll be staying behind but I wish you luck."

"What?"

"Well he said he would be flying you . . ."

"And you think I won't be taking you too? How can I hope to face Alduin without one of your larynx massaging kisses before hand."

"That's why I'm naked now, at least under this fur coverlet which I can toss so I can really be naked but I'm keeping it sort of on me because I suspect it makes me more of a tease . . ."

"You're coming with me girl. I can't do this without you."

"Really? You really can't do this even after I make seriously incredible love to you, the sort I always make but this time even more fantastic than usual?"

"Even after," I replied.

"Well then no point in making love right now so I'll put my clothes back on and . . ."

Needless to say I objected to that most strenuously and there was a bit of a wrestling match which she apparently decided to lose rather dramatically observing that I was about to pierce her with my big Dragonborn sword but she didn't think she ought to be worried about it.

I held her very tightly afterwards because quite frankly I was not a little scared about what I would be doing in the morning.

Dawn came way to soon for my tastes and after giving Sofia a very long and loving back scratch, which ended with yet another love making session, we got dressed and bid farewell to Lydia. As usual, I reminded Lydia that the house ownership would pass to her should Sofia and I not return. Then we walked around to the back of the house where the wagon was parked and pulled Serana out of her coffin.

"Well," she sighed. "You two are off to Sovngarde this morning. You'll have to tell me what it was like."

"Serana," I said. "You're coming with."

"What?" She exclaimed. "Val I can't possibly go there not in the condition I am . . ."

"Serana," I said sternly looking right at her in the most Alpha of Alpha dog expressions I could muster. "You may end up dead and in Coldharbor, but not before you get a glimpse of Sovngarde. It will take Arkay himself barring the way before you get out of this little trip."

Serana just looked at me, and remained unmoving.

"Val," she said softly. "I'm afraid."

"I know," I replied. And Sofia and I grabbed her arms and in spite of her preternatural strength we dragged that girl all the way to the dragon, pulled her up onto him and the three of us were airborne shortly thereafter.

"Quit squeezing me so HARD, Seri!" whined Sofia as the lands of Skyrim floated steadily beneath us.

But that is only par for the course for an adventure.


	29. Chapter 29 - A Song For Sovngarde

"And so I said, 'If you pull any of those mind games on me, you will be missing your magic stick, and you won't be able to conjure any more children. Do I make myself clear?'"

"And that is how you were introduced to the Archmage of the College," queried Serana.

"That was our first meeting," finished Sofia.

The mountains were rapidly approaching us. To my right I could see the town of Riften far off in the hazy mists of a winter's afternoon. The air was brisk and cold but up in the air, it was clear. Odahviing had warned me that my envy of the Dovah would increase once I had experienced Tamriel like a Dovah, that is, high in the air. And while it was a spectacular view, we had spent much of it hanging on to Odahviing for dear life, terrified that yet another buffet from the winds or a sudden dip by him to check out a particularly succulent looking elk would send us flying into Sovngarde in a manner we had not planned upon. Or at least Sofia and me, if Serana kept her cool, she would simply turn into a bat and flutter away.

There was a cleft in the mountains, Odahviing flew through it and then he descended into a deep depression in the midst of the mountains. There was an great ancient temple there, and a great staircase which led up to it, and at the end of the temple, there was a rising column of magical steam. But Odahviing did not take us to that spot, he dropped us in front of the temple before the beginning of the staircase.

"This is as far as I can take you," he said. "Krif voth akrim. I will look for your return, or Alduin's." And with that, he was airborne and we were on our own.

"He couldn't take us to the top?" complained Sofia.

"It's bad enough we're here," muttered Serana. "This place is . . . Well it's making me nervous."

"It's just a ruin!" argued Sofia. "This isn't some temple like in Solitude where you freak out every time we walk by it. And how many old ruined temples have we been poking about in?"

"Not to mention the times I've poked Sofia in them," I added with a sly grin.

"You have such a dirty mind," retorted Sofia.

"So that's what you would do when I was taking my walks outside in the night," giggled Serana.

"But I think she senses the proximity to Sovngarde," I mused. It was a dumb thing to say. Serana, by giggling, had forgotten for a moment that she was feeling unnerved. I had reminded her where this was supposed to go and she promptly began to fidget again. "I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut," I sighed. "Well let's head across this stone bridge to the temple complex and see what we find."

What we found were two dragons and lots of drauger. It was an almost non-stop fight to advance through that complex. Even though we could see the end of it, we ended up camping in a south tower for the night. What was particularly annoying was that we had no camping gear, just some food, blood potions, and other such items. We built a fire with the remains of dead drauger and with Sofia sipping a couple of bottles of mead, Serana sipping a couple of blood potions, and me nibbling on basic food and playing my lute to pass the time, we simply huddled in the upper level of that tower.

Sofia was in the middle, I was on one side of her and Serana on the other. We remained in physical contact watching the fire flicker fitfully.

"I don't think we've ever found a place so packed with stuff to kill," sighed Sofia. "I'm beginning to think there's only so much fun a girl can have in an old ruin. My sword arm is really sore."

"I feel kind of sick putting that drain on the drauger," sighed Serana. "There's some form of rejuvenation when I use that spell, but even so, I always feel a little rotten and dirty afterwards, if not just nauseous."

"I didn't know vampires could vomit," suggested Sofia.

"We don't," replied Serana. "But that doesn't mean I don't feel like I ought to."

"I'm not sure if that's good or bad," sighed Sofia. "On one hand, when you throw up, you stop feeling nauseous. But on the other hand, it's no fun to throw up either."

Serana sighed again.

"How are you doing?" I asked.

"I'll be fine," she snapped in that tone that told me she wouldn't.

"No you won't," I replied. "What's bugging you, besides the fact that you're about to be dragged into paradise."

"Just leave me alone," she persisted.

"No," I said. "I won't."

"Damn it, Val!"

"Let it out, Seri," I persisted. "Get it off your chest."

She sighed.

"Why?" she replied. "Why would it matter? You don't need to hear the same song over and over again."

"I do," I replied. "Until I have mastered it, I can't hear it enough. So unburden . . . now."

"Father," she sighed. "We're only a few days away from confronting him. I don't know what's going to happen and I don't know if I'll be able to face him."

"No," I replied. "You won't. Until you look him in the eye you will not know what you will do."

"What if I can't face him?"

"That's why we're here," replied Sofia. "If you can't look your father in the eye and kick him between the knees, you can be sure I won't have that problem."

"Thanks," sighed Serana. "I think. I'm glad you're with me on this. I don't think I would have been able to do this on my own."

"I know how you feel," I replied. I looked at Sofia. "I wouldn't be here without Sofi."

"Yeah," Sofia replied. "He'd have been so dead by now without me."

"Sofi?" asked Serana.

"Yeah Seri?"

"Have you ever needed anyone?"

"Not really," Sofia replied. "I like Valentine around. But I learned after Horsa that I'd have to stand on my own."

"Then why do you love him?" continued Serana.

There was a silence for a moment. A very long and extended silence.

"If you say it's because he plies you with mead I'm going to smack you," suggested Serana.

"Not bite?" queried Sofia.

"It's rude to bite friends, especially if you happen to be me," replied Serana.

"Not scratch?" I queried with a little grin.

"She might get infected, and that would be rude too," replied Serana.

"But he does give me mead," suggested Sofia. "Ow!" came an instant later, after the smack of a silver embellished gloved hand striking a leather covered thigh had been heard.

"Come on Sofi," sighed Serana. "I love Aurelian because he's sweet to me, makes me feel special, and . . . well . . ."

"You love him?" queried Sofia. "I thought you were just attracted to him."

"No," replied Serana firmly. "It's love, I just know it."

"It's her first love, Sofi," I observed. "Those are way more intense at first. I mean, why do you think I was so utterly determined to stick around you for the first two months?"

"I figured you were just stupid," suggested Sofia. "I mean I wouldn't trust me, why would you?"

"I didn't say I trusted you," I replied. "I merely was utterly smitten with you."

"What was the point of being so madly in love with me if you didn't trust me?" asked Sofia.

"Because love is blind . . . deaf . . . and frequently very dumb," I answered. "So you were correct in figuring out I was being stupid."

"Well of course," she answered. "I mean only an idiot would have tried to marry me. I sure wouldn't have married me. Which is probably why we were both crazy drunk when it happened."

"Sofi you are not answering the question," persisted Serana. "Why are you not telling me why you love Valentine."

"I don't know!" she blurted out.

"Now wait a moment, Sofi," I interjected. "You've said repeatedly that you loved me because I stuck with you and didn't run screaming when smart guys would have."

"Well yeah . . . but . . . that doesn't seem to cover it any more," she sighed. "It's everything now. That I wake up and you're there scratching my back. That at the end of the night you are there giving me foot rubs. You tell me you love me constantly. You fight back and yet you don't walk away. And then you make it up to me afterwards. And then . . . I look at you and sometimes you look at me back in such a fashion that my heart goes all thumpity on me. It's just . . . everything. I mean, the mead's important (put that hand down, Seri) but it's not everything. At least not any more it isn't."

We were quite for a bit more. Serana snuggled up closer to Sofia and the fire.

"What are you going to do after we're all done?" I asked Serana.

"I would like to get closer to Aurelian," she sighed. "I'd like to at least get back with my mother. What are you two going to do?"

"Get really drunk for a week," replied Sofia.

"Fancy that," quipped Serana. "I'd never have guessed."

"If you think that quiet calm tone disguises the fact that you're being sarcastic," retorted Sofia. "Think again."

"Been with us too long to be fooling us any more, Seri," I said.

"Curses," replied Serana. "Val?" What are you going to do?"

"Not sure," I replied. "I'd like to think I'm going to retire, return to Solitude, get involved in the Bardic College, and make lots of babies with Sofi."

"I don't know if Sofi wants to go into labor all those times," mused Serana.

"Maybe not," answered Sofia. "But I wouldn't mind him trying to make me."

"You will come and visit us won't you?" I asked.

"I hope so," Serana replied. "Of course I will be going to the Imperial City more often if I can."

"I suspected as much," I chuckled. "But I have a feeling we'll be running a close second."

"We have a bond," sighed Serana. "Three adventurers seeing the world. If only . . . you two didn't smell so good to me it would be perfect." She sighed and leaned back and closed her eyes.

Sofia and I looked at each other. She had once again reminded us that she was a vampire and she had no clue she was doing it.

We slept fitfully seated with our backs to the stone wall and the fire constantly maintained. But we remained undisturbed through the rest of the night. The next morning we stepped out, smelled the air, and stretched. I scanned the complex. To my left was an arched bridge and beyond that a great foyer. I figured we'd have to go under the arched bridge to find the way to take the stairs further up. We looked at each other and began the mental preparation for another day of peril.

"If I said that the new dragon scale armor you are wearing made me think you were a little horny, would you think I had a dirty mind?" began Sofia with a cheeky grin.

"I don't know," I replied. "If I said that your horny dragon scale armor would make me feel like it if it were more cut to your figure, would you think I had a dirty mind?"

"Oh great," sighed Serana. "And I'm wearing it too, are you two going to look at me now?"

We promptly stared at Serana who, being unable to blush due to her vampiric state, dealt with the mind game by covering her face with her hands.

Yes, I had finally learned how to make the stuff and had fashioned a set for the three of us prior to us getting on Odahviing. But that was not all. I had a dragon bone sword and bow and shield, Sofia had a dragon bone sword and bow, and Serana had a dragon bone dagger and bow. Likewise I had enchanted them so that the bows and blades would paralyze opponents for a brief moment.

And we needed them.

For no sooner had we gotten under the arched bridge-way, drauger came in force. And these were not just your ordinary drauger. These creatures were armored, possessed deadly weapons, could shout, and had spells to boot. Our tactics were pretty well set by this point. We picked our target, and focused on each one until it was down. And so that was the day's work. Each battle took fifteen to twenty moments and then we needed to rest and recoup for a bit before we could move on. Eventually, we were able to get into the temple and work our way through it. It was literally sunset before we were finally able to reach the roof of the temple, and there we fought an undead Dragon Priest. So there we were, at the top, and there was no sign of a portal. What we saw was a set of stones built into a circular pattern.

"There it is," mused Serana. "Just like in mother's laboratory."

"But how do we trigger it?" I asked.

"No more soul trapping!" pronounced Sofia.

"I should hope not," I mused.

"Val?" observed Serana. "There's a hole in the floor here, and that Dragon Priest had this staff. And remember when the magic steam was rising? It stopped when we encountered that Priest."

"I wonder," I replied and jammed the staff into the hole.

The circle opened up and there was a portal before us.

"Well," said Sofia, taking a very long pause before she said the next thing, "Here we go, Sovngarde."

"Val?" was Serana's trembling query.

Sofia and I shared a silent understanding, and so we grabbed Serana's arms and pulled her in.

We were at the top of a staircase and in front of us was a great valley and at the other end of it was a massive building outlined in the night sky. And the night sky was simply so grand that I just stared at it for a moment. Sofia was quiet and Serana whimpered once.

"So beautiful," she practically sobbed.

And then I heard it . . . the music. There was singing; grand and glorious singing carried over the breeze.

"Sofi? Do you hear it?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

"I could . . . Oh if I could sing like that," I whispered.

"It's like . . . It's like a big party!" cried Sofia. "I LIKE SOVNGARDE!"

And she charged down the stairs and into the mists.

"Sofia!" I cried in pursuit.

"Don't leave me here!" cried Serana behind me. "Don't leave me alone in this place!"

What happened next is hard to relate. We lost ourselves in the mists and spent a good deal of time calling to each other before we were able to follow the pathway back to where the three of us were able to get ahold of each other.

"Okay, reality check," pronounced Sofia. "You're not supposed to get lost in Sovngarde."

"How do you know," snapped Serana. "Have you ever been here before?"

Sofia just looked at her. "Think about it, Seri," she snarked.

"Val?" queried Serana. "Why are you pawing me?"

"I'm not pawing you," I replied, persisting in running my fingers over her arm. "Seri, feel your arms, tell me what your sensation is."

Serana ran her fingers on her arm. "I don't notice anything," she replied.

"Sofi?"

Sofia ran her fingers over Serana's arms and her eyes went wide. "Seri!" she said. "Your arms are warm, like you're alive! Open your mouth."

Serana gingerly opened her mouth.

"Still has fangs. You thirsty? Hungry?"

"No," replied Serana. Then her eyes went wide. "I've not felt satisfied in . . . forever. But I do now. Val? What does this mean?"

"You'll figure it out quickly enough," I replied.

"Val?" she said. But I hushed them and listened.

The music . . . The music continued to drift across the wind. Loud and proud singing it was. Singing that simply would not stop. Singing of battle and triumph, food and ale, love and joy, family, hearth, and home. All that was good was praised and sung about.

"This way!" I said pointing. "See the path? Follow it!" And holding Sofia's hand who was holding Serana's hand, I led us down the cobblestone pathway until we encountered an another person. It was a Stormcloak soldier.

"Turn back traveler!" He cried. "Terror waits within this mist! Many have braved this shadowed veil but vain is all courage that guards the way."

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Near Giant's Gap," he said. "In the gloom before dawn, we marched, unsuspecting into the Imperial's trap. Then we stood and fought, our shield wall defending, until by dawn's light the Legion's ranks wavered." He paused and smiled remembering. "But I never knew if Night's End brought victory, a swift flying arrow to Sovngarde carried me."

"What's with this mist?" asked Sofia.

"I do not know," he replied. "But none have passed through. Alduin, his hunger insatiable, hunts the lost souls ensnared within this shadowed valley."

"Not for long," crowed Sofia. "For Valentine is here to put an end to him, with more than a little help from me. . . . And Seri of course . . . Sort of."

"I bask in the glow of your complementary speech," suggested Serana with a rueful smile.

"What can I say?" replied Sofia. "When you've got it, you've got it."

"Can you lead the way to where Shor's Halls waits?" asked the Stormcloak. " . . . Beckoning us on to welcome long sought?"

"Yes," I said. "It's on the far end of the valley from here. Follow me then. I know the way."

"I'll try to hold to your hopeful purpose." he said. "Quickly, before this encompassing fog once more snares me in the World Eater's net."

And Serana reached her hand for him and he grabbed it. And we proceeded on. We continued to move forward and we continued to find lost people. And the hand chain got longer.

"Val," said Serana. "This isn't like the Soul Cairn. These are solid people. You sure this is the afterlife?"

"Can you smell their blood?" I replied.

"Yes, but I'm okay with that. I'm still not hungry."

"When was the last time you were not hungry?"

"It's only for a few hours after a full live feeding," replied Serana. "And that's been days!"

Then there was a sudden flash of dark shadow, the roar of a beast, and the stormcloak soldier was gone. There were panicked cries but we called and retraced our steps and found most of the people we had gathered prior and moved on.

I knew I was making progress in the mists for the music got louder and more rich in tones. But every so often Alduin would flash by and another soul would be gone. All in all we found twenty souls wandering in the mists. But by the time we got to the whalebone bridge, we had only twelve left. But we were out of the mists. Those we had gotten out, Stormcloaks, Imperials, Companions, husbands and wives, were almost hysterical in their gratitude. And there it was, across that grand bridge built of whalebones, the biggest most glorious hall I had ever seen.

"Valentine," sighed Sofia. "Can you imagine us being in there forever, drinking and love making, never getting old, sick, or even bored?"

"Yeah," I said. "I even had a dream about it once."

"You didn't tell me about it," accused Sofia.

I had, for it had been when we were escorting Dexion to Fort Dawnguard and she had complained that I had woken her up with my screams for it had turned into a nightmare at the end. I was not in the mood to argue with her however. What I was in the mood to do was put my arm around her and pull her close. She was more than compliant with that. And she made the sort of little girl sigh that I had never heard her do before and when I looked at her, she smiled back and . . . fluttered her eyelashes at me. I started to chuckle.

"What is so funny," she asked giggling.

"You just did something I never saw you do before," I replied.

"Valentine," she whispered. "Let's have a party! Let's get into that hall, drink, and make love."

"Well if we're allowed to," I mused. "We might have to wait until we're dead before we get to celebrate."

"Valentine!" she snapped someone playfully. "This is Sovngarde. You're not going to be stopped from having a party. What's the point of being here if you can't have fun?"

"Oh all right," I sighed in an exaggerated despair of forlorn agony tone. "If I have to I'll take the time to find a dark corner to molest you in."

"And ply me with mead," she reminded me. "No fun being molested if I'm not drunk enough to fail to fight you off."

Holding hands, with Serana behind us looking horribly depressed and melancholy we began to cross the whale bone bridge only to meet a grand and glorious warrior.

"What brings you, wayfarer grim, to wander here, in Sovngarde, soul's end, Shor's gift to honored dead?" he said. It was flowery speech but when you are dealing with the God's they insist upon elegant talk such as this. It is, after all, the whole point of talking, to make a poem, a story, an epic tale to tell again and again.

"We seek entrance to the Hall of Valor," I replied.

"No shade are you," he observed. "As usually here passes. But living, you dare the land of the dead." He paused to let that sink in, not that it was needed. I was more than aware that I was alive and in the land of those who had passed on. Funny how that works. "By what right do you request entry?" He finished.

"There's a party in there!" suggested Sofia. "That's as good a reason as any!"

I suddenly knew the answer, at least one which would work better than Sofia's though I will admit this grand warrior struggled to suppress a slight grin in response to Sofia's reply. Those who don't see the God's as having a sense of humor, and a good one at that, are very dour and ignorant people.

"By the right of birth," I replied. "I am Dragonborn."

The warrior smiled a broad and deep grin. "Ah!" he said. "It's been too long since last I've faced a doom-driven hero of the dragon blood."

Now those are the sorts of words which told me I was going to have to smack this guy about and I'll confess, I was not looking forward to it. But there would be a few more words I suspected so I started to concentrate on discerning every single thing about that weapon he had slung over his back.

"So can we go in already?" requested Sofia.

"Living or dead, by decree of Shor," he said. "None may pass this perilous bridge 'til I judge them worthy by the warrior's test."

"You are going to be so smacked," suggested Sofia to him. "You're keeping me from that party and no one does that to me and lives to boast about it."

"Fus . . . Ro DA!" he shouted. But it had been a while since that shout had staggered me. I had after all, faced the entire assembly of the Greybeards when I had been formally inducted as this generation's Dragonborn.

"We fight as a team!" I cried back. And I lifted my shield to take the incoming blow of his great axe. It was a staggering blow as well, but the dragon bone held. Then Sofia's flames immolated him on my right and Serana's draining spell struck him from the left.

"AH!" Serana shrieked. She staggered back with a flaccid expression on her face.

"Seri's drunk again!" pronounced Sofia who ducked a swinging axe.

I smacked the warrior with my shield.

"Hey!" I shouted. "I'm the guy here. The main course. Girls are for dessert!"

He turned back to me and commenced to strike at me with great swings of that whistling axe. And each time I met that sharp blade at it's top with the bone of my shield. And then when the opening presented itself, I brought my blade down upon his left shoulder and saw the blade bite deep. He staggered back and grinned.

It was as if I had not touched him at all. I had seen the blade bite. I had seen the blade sink in. I had even seen the blood ooze around the blade. But once he had fallen back, the wound was completely gone.

"I have waited long for such a worthy opponent," he said proudly. "You fought well. I find you worthy." He paused and looked at the three of us. "It is long since one of the living has entered here. And never has a Daughter of Coldharbor been given this grace. May Shor's favor follow you and your errand."

I heard a gasp from Serana. "Looks like you get the full tour," I suggested to her. The play of emotions across her face was fierce. On one hand, she was standing in the divine presence and was absolutely terrified. But at the same time, because she was, in essence dead, she was longing to get closer to that very presence. Sofia and I felt that longing as well, but it was very much muted in us. I could see Sofia's eagerness in her expression, but there was nothing like the intense desire which seemed to fill Serana's entire face. I reached for Sofia's hand and held it. She reached for Serana's hand and held it, and the three of us crossed the whalebone bridge and reached the hall.

"We've done it," I sighed as I stood before the door. "We've become the characters in all the myths of all of Tamriel. Like the hero's of old, we've entered the land of the dead and will come back out the other side . . ." and then I paused. "I hope we come out the other side," I added.

"Not much of a tale if we don't," suggested Sofia. "Going to Sovngarde is really no big deal. I mean everyone does that. At least everyone who dies. Coming back afterwards? Now that's special."

I opened the door and within the hall was a festival of the divine. And I do mean that most literally. The thing about Shor's Hall is that at first, while it's on a great rock, the rock itself merely rests upon a great vapor which rises from the great falls which mark the 'end' of the world. To get to that rock, you cross a bridge which is made from the great spine of a whale. I'm not sure why it's whalebone, but that is what we saw. And which really comes as no surprise when you think about it, the interior of the hall is way larger than what's outside of it. The interior is filled with lights, long tables piled high with food and drink, great vats of mead in barrels so big it would take ten strong men to lift them, and then there were the fighting rings where warriors would face off and fight against one another, were all wounds promptly vanished. Sofia promptly took over and dragged both me and Serana to the tables where she commenced to dig in.

How to describe the food . . . It is not easy. Imagine a roast side of a great cow, more succulent and meaty than anything you had ever eaten. Ale which flowed like honey and water mixed, sweet and endless. You never felt full, no matter how much you ate. You never got drunk, just that perfect state of relaxation and openness, no matter how much you drank, but while I found this not at all bad, what amazed me was neither did Sofia. But what surprised us both after we had been there a while was that Serana took an experimental taste of a link of deep pink peppery sausage, and before I knew it, she was stuffing her face with it, if that were possible, with more piggy greedy enthusiasm than Sofia ever had been able to master, and that's saying something. And then she started on the wine, and she began to act like she was feeling it. And she was drinking that too. And since of course we were having fun, folks began to join us, introduce themselves, and it turned into a very serious party. I had never seen Serana more happy and giddy and just at peace with herself. She had these silly little grins which I had seen on her during some particularly clever witty repartee's which Aurelian had been plying her with, but at that table they were almost constant.

I think one of the former Emperors of Tamriel joined us but I can't recall his name. And I seem to recall that Jurgan Windcaller showed up and warned me that if I strayed from the path I was on, I would never return to Sovngarde. There were so many and while we kept them all straight at the dinner, I lost most of that information after I returned. I remember asking if Martin Septim was around, and was assured he was, and a very important personage, but no one knew where he was at that point. The hall was, after all, rather huge and it was only one bit of the entire paradise which the God's had prepared for the mortals of Tamriel.

And then Serana met her grandfather on her father's side. And she remembered him from her childhood. It was somewhat emotional for her and she began to cry. And I saw real tears coursing down those no longer pale cheeks of hers, but he hugged her, helped her dry her tears, and they walked off together for a while. And Sofia, noticing that Serana was gone, decided that she would stop her great and epic quest to empty an entire mead keg by herself, for she had announced that this was her intention before the entire throng who had greeted her pronouncement with huzzah's, and dragged me off to the first dark and secluded corner she could find and there proceeded to have her way with me.

It not my habit to describe the experiences of lovemaking normally because quite frankly, it's none of your damn business what it's like between Sofia and me, but what I can say is this. Making love in Sovngarde is so intense that any experience in Tamriel you have pales in comparison. It's just not a tenth as incredible as it is in that hall. But after what seemed a while we got ourselves out of the soft luxuriant furs we had wrapped ourselves in, pulled back the silken curtains and began to look for Serana.

It was then when a great and grand motherly woman walked up to us holding a very tiny baby and Sofia first gasped and then whimpered.

"Can . . . Can I hold her?" she asked.

With a gentle smile which seemed to convey obvious approval, the woman passed the baby over. It was then I realized what was happening. I can be rather slow you see, even in Sovngarde.

"Valentine," she half whispered, half sobbed. "It's our baby . . . Psuki."

And that's when I lost it.

I can't tell you how long we held her, the two of us, and watched her sleeping quietly in our arms, for it had only been a month since we had lost her, and as far as I could tell, she could not have been more than three months in Sofia's womb before the miscarriage. So there was not much she did, other than snuggle quietly next to us. She seemed most content when she was held by Sofia next to her heart.

I turned to the women. I did not ask who she was, but I had a very strong suspicion.

"But, the Ideal Masters?" I said. "Don't they hold on to every soul they take?"

"They would if we let them," she replied. "But you buried your daughter with prayers that the smoke carry her to Aetherius, and as you are her father, we honor those requests. It is after all your right and authority while she is a child. We went down and took her from them and punished them for their impertinence at taking her. And she will be waiting for you when you return. Until then she will grow quietly and happily here."

"I wish you would do that to all the souls down there," I sighed.

"Why do you think there is Sovngarde?" she asked. "Do the warriors here train for naught? Did not Tsun speak of the final battle? There will come a day when all that the Daedra will be allowed to possess are the damned."

"So the souls which Alduin has eaten?" I asked.

"You're about to discover their fate," she replied.

I didn't think about what that answer of hers could mean. And it's a good thing I didn't. Instead I looked at Sofia, who was tenderly and not a little tightly holding on to Psuki. She was almost totally focused on her.

"What about her first . . ." I began.

"Growing, unaware of her death," replied the woman. "And she shall also be waiting for her mother's return. But she shall only know you as her father. For you alone were willing to take her."

"All I did was offer to adopt her," I said. "I never was put to the test. I mean I didn't have to go into that orphanage and negotiate with Grelod the Kind . . . Strange name for her but you know what I mean."

"We don't just know what has happened, or what will happen, we know what could have happened as well. Had Sofia delivered her child and given her to Honorhall, you still would have done what you did and today she would be watched over by Jordis in her little crib in Proudspire. But Psuki never would have been conceived."

Suddenly I realized what that suggested.

"You mean we still would have met?"

The woman smiled and while I heard her speak, it seemed as if Sofia did not. She remained holding Psuki and looking down into her sleeping face utterly mesmerized. "No one grows up overnight, especially Sofia," she said. "And she would not have let the responsibilities her daughter demanded move her to proper motherhood. She still would have rambled and then spotted you and followed you and tried to connect with you. And that is a good thing for you. For she has spoken truly. You would not have survived Skyrim without her."

"So," I said softly. "It really is the two of us together that have brought us to this juncture."

"That is the power of love and marriage. Two chords," said the woman. "Are always stronger when bound together than separate." She paused. "Such is the blindness of men and mer, that they only see the one strand among the many."

It was time to leave her and do what we were there to do. With a few tears, Sofia handed Psuki back to the great lady and we set off to find Serana. We found her with more members of her ancient family which had made it here. And as she came up to us I noticed that her color was no longer pale and wan, it was real health that had returned to her face. It was here that she was more alive than she ever could have been in Tamriel.

"You ready?" I asked Serana.

"I . . . I guess so," she sighed. She turned and was hugged by some of the people around her and we looked around for someone who would tell us what to do with Alduin. And as if by cue, a great warrior walked up to us. I did not know his name when I saw him. He was however, dressed in a very ancient set of armor and carried a distinct two handed axe on his back. And when I saw a statue of a man in that armor carrying that axe later when I was in Whiterun, I asked who he might be and was told it was Ysgramor, who had led the Nords to Tamriel and had fought the Mer and founded the Companions. The statue did not look at all like him, but the armor and axe are not unknown in Skyrim. For the armor is the style which is found in ancient tombs and the fragments of his axe are mounted in the Hall of the Companions.

"Welcome Dragonborn," he said. "Our door has stood empty since Alduin first set his soul-snare here. By Shor's command we sheathed our blades and ventured not the vale's dark mist. But three await your word to loose their fury upon the perilous foe."

"Three?" I asked. "Like us?"

"Indeed," replied Ysgramor. "Gormlaith the fearless, glad hearted in battle; Hakon the valiant, heavy handed warrior: Felldir the old, far seeing and grim."

"The ones who faced Alduin first," I exclaimed. "I saw them do it."

Ysgramor nodded. "It is only meet that they who began the fight get to end it with you."

I noticed them standing at the end of one of the long tables and I walked over to them. Their eyes met mine before I was within twenty strides of them. I could see the eagerness in their faces.

"At long last!" sighed Gormlaith. "Alduin's doom is now ours to seal. Just speak the word and with high hearts we'll hasten forth to smite the worm where he lurks."

"You died fighting him the first time," I recalled. "Vengeance for you will be pleasant."

She smiled with that sort of grin that comes from being on the verge of unleashing a very sudden and unnerving surprise upon one who does not expect it.

"Hold Comrades," exclaimed Felldir. "Let us council take before battle is blindly joined."

I nodded. "Wise as you're reputation has you," I observed.

He nodded in acknowledgment.

"I wonder if anyone here actually died naked," mused Sofia who was still scanning the great hall and all it's denizens.

"You would open your mouth at this juncture," sighed Serana.

I stole a quick glance at Serana who's expression seemed to be that of a young girl who had stepped into something way bigger than she had ever imagined she would and was utterly overwhelmed by it all yet at the same time was drinking it all in with a greed that only a vampire could achieve. And given Serana was a vampire, she was doing that times two.

"Alduin's mist is more than a snare," continued Felldir. "It's shadowy gloom is his shield and his cloak."

"Very much so," I mused. "When we sought to lead the lost through it, he came without warning with neither sound nor sight."

"But," he counseled. "With four voices joined, our valor combined, we can blast the mist and bring him to battle."

"Yes!" I almost shouted. "That will work. I even know the shout. The Greybeards taught it to me so I was able to speak to Paarthurnax."

"Felldir speaks wisdom," added Hakon. "The world eater, coward, fears you Dragonborn."

"Let us hope so," I mused. "It will cripple his ability to fight in battle. But I fear more that he has merely learned to respect me and will accordingly not just charge blindly forward filled with confidence."

"Let him fight well," cried Gormlaith, "There will be more honor for us when we triumph!"

"Spoken like a hero of Sovengard!" proclaimed Hakon.

"That's not the expression I would use," mused Serana a little more deep thinking then these two ancient heroes. But one does not need wisdom and brains to be a hero that dies valiantly in battle against a noble foe. If such were the case, Sovngarde would be a bit more open and empty.

"We must drive away the mists," continued Hakon. "Shouting together, and then unsheathe our blades in a desperate battle with our black winged foe."

"Well then," cried Sofia, getting into the whole 'I'm about to be an epic heroine here' mood. "What are we waiting for!"

"To battle then my friends!" cried Gormlaith. "The fields will echo with the clamor of war, our wills undaunted!"

And well, much against my better judgement, Gormlaith, Hakon, Felldir, with Sofia practically leading the way, charged right for the door with weapons out. I looked at Serana. She looked at me.

"Might as well go out with a dramatic flair," she sighed. "It was nice while it lasted. Thank you Val, I'm still not feeling entirely well here, but . . . It's so wonderful, I almost wish I were mortal again."

I nodded. And then Serana and I proceeded to play catch up. Incidentally, there's an old Skyrim adage, that the dead travel fast. This means that Serana passed Sofia, and the three ancient heroes and was waiting for us when we got there. And I am describing a dash which was no more than twenty heart beats from the end of the table to the end of the Whale Bone Bridge.

"The eyes of Shor are upon you," said Tsun, the grand guardian at the head of the bridge. Defeat Alduin and destroy his Soul-snare."

We reached the edge of the mists.

"We can not fight the foe in this mist," cried Felldir.

"Clear Skies!" exclaimed Gormlaith. "Combine our shouts!"

"Lok! VAH KOOR!" we exclaimed.

And the mists dispersed to the great central mountain in the middle of the vale.

"Ven Mul Riik!" replied Alduin in the deep distance beyond our sight.

And the mists returned.

"Alduin is strong," observed Hakon.

"Again!" Cried Gormlaith.

And we shouted again.

I can not tell you how long the shouting match persisted. We would clear the mists, and then Alduin would restore them.

"Does his strength have no end?" cried Hakon as the shouting continued. "Is our struggle in vain."

"Get a grip," retorted Sofia. "You would think you never fought a dragon before. A Hero of Sovngarde who goes down when he gets an arrow in the knee."

"You're not the one shouting," observed Serana.

"If I hear any more whining like that I'm going to start," Sofia threatened.

More shouting and then when the mists came back yet again, Gormlaith cried out, "Stand fast, his strength is failing! Once more and his might will be broken!"

I really can't tell you how she knew, I had heard no variation in Alduin's shouting, but something she sensed told us one more time and indeed it was, just one more time, and then the mists were gone, forever. There was a pause, a brief lull, that silent calm before the great Cyrodiil Thunderstorm roars in over the Niben. And then Alduin flew in, his roar echoing from the mountains of the great vale we stood in. And on the glorious flowering fields of Sovngarde, I prepared what I suspected would be my greatest and hardest fight.

"The endless wait gives way to battle," spoke Gormliath, in that tone which suggests she had thought about the speech she would give when this moment came. "Alduin's DOOM. HIS DEATH OR OURS!"

"VALENTINE!" cried Sofia. "Look at me now!"

I turned and looked at her. There was a desperate intensity in her gaze.

"My make up! It's okay right?" Sofia asked me.

"Not any more!" I cried grabbing her face with both my hands making sure the powder and rouge was sufficiently smeared up and giving her a big smacker kiss right on her mouth so that her lipstick would be all over the place. Then I summoned up my fire and and unleashed a two handed fireball on Alduin before the three heroes could charge into it's radius.

Then we unleashed Dragonrend upon the creature and he was down on the ground.

"For Skyrim, for Shor, for Sovngarde's freedom!" cried Gormlaith.

"Pahlok joore!" cried Alduin. "Hin kah fen kos bonaar! Dovahkiin, you should not have come here. Nu hin sil dii."

And the fight was on. I can't tell you how hard it was, only that it was long. I unleashed fireball after fireball when he was aloft, and firebolt after firebolt when he had fallen due to Dragonrend. I was not the only one who unleashed that shout on him, but mine were, and I don't boast when I state this, the most powerful. For I was the Dragonborn and for me it was in the blood. Gormlaith, Hakon, and Felldir had been taught their shouts. For them it had been like the Greybeards, study and meditation for years. Serana fired off her bow and Sofia charged in when she could. And when I wasn't fighting, I was gulping down fire resistance potions and healing draughts. When of course I could not afford to suck the Magicka potions. But in the end, a dragon fight is a dragon fight. Easy for me to say because I did enough of them while I suspect you, gentle reader have never fought a dragon, let alone seen a live one. As always, I kept out of the reach of his mouth and counted on my shield to block that mouth when I failed to stay sufficiently away. The crucial difference was that back in Last Seed, if any dragon, let alone Alduin, had taken a bite at me, he would have been successful at taking a bite of me, and that would have been the end of me. Today, I had sufficient armor, skill, and wit to blunt the longest and most sharp dragon tooth there was provided I did not stay around for him to do it repeatedly.

Last Seed, Heartfire, Frostfall, Sun's Dusk, Evening Star, Morning Star, and now Sun's Dawn. My life had changed so much in just seven months. Had Ralof turned to me in that wagon and said, "Hey you, finally awake? You know you're about to save the world, get married to the most unlikely woman you could ever love, and be best buddies with one of the most ancient of Skyrim's vampires." I would have said something like, "You are so off your chump you moron Stormcloak. I am no one of importance and I'm okay with that thank you very much."

I don't recall what Alduin said when he started to die, it was in the end a scream of anger, frustration, and despair. And as he exploded into energy and the cries of a million souls consumed by him were at last freed to take their rightful places in Aetherius, I shook my head in amazement. There had been no time in that battle where he could not have fled or surrendered and submitted. There had been no time he could not have simply acknowledged that his reign was over with. He would have lived, humbled, overthrown, thrown down, but alive. And perhaps in time sufficiently reflective to atone for all he had done. But such is the curious quality of evil, that insane rage in the end that will not surrender so much as a single breath of wind, choosing death over all. I have never understood that self-destructive passion which drives itself into utter and total ruin.

"This was a mighty deed," proclaimed Tsun, the guardian of the Whalebone bridge. "The doom of Alduin encompassed at last, and cleansed is Sovngarde of his evil snare."

I looked at Sofia, and she looked back at me.

"They will sing of this battle in Shor's hall forever," he continued. "But your fate lies elsewhere. When you have completed your count of days, I may welcome you again, with glad friendship, and bid you join the blessed feasting."

At least that is what I think he said. I was really rather busy kissing Sofia somewhat non-stop and doing the best I could to squeeze that soft and silky body of hers into a form physically impossible for a women to possess and live to tell of. Of course she was being more than a little cooperative in this massive exertion of pressure upon her skeletal structure. Serana? I think she was standing to the side and sniggering.

"But now it is time for you to return," finished Tsun.

And we found ourselves on the top of the Throat of the World surrounded by dragons singing a funeral dirge for Alduin.

And in spite of all of this, the adventure was not yet over with.


	30. Chapter 30 - A Song For Harkon

"Wow," mused Sofia as we trudged down the slopes of The Throat of the Word. "You beat Alduin the world eater himself."

"I guess I have," I sighed. The cold of a Skyrim winter on the slopes of one of the greatest of mountains was really wearing me down. Dragonscale armor is not that warm when it comes down to it, even when you have woolen undies underneath.

"You have become legend," she continued. "A true hero. People will talk about you for hundreds if not thousands of years to come." She paused reflecting for a moment. "And I did pretty much everything else so I guess they will also talk of me."

"I should hope so," I said with a smile.

"They'd better," replied Sofia. "Or I'll come back from Sovngarde and kick them in the bottom so hard . . ."

"I don't think you heard what Mother Mara told me about you," I continued looking at her. She looked at me quizzically and that confirmed to me that she had not been privy to that bit of the conversation. It took me a second to frame what I said next because once again I found myself lost in that oval face with those big blue eyes and thick black hair holding all those crystal snow flakes in it. Oh, and she had taken the time to fix her make up when we had gotten back to the Greybeards after we had left Parthurnaax and the rest of the dragons on the top of the mountain. So there seemed to be a great deal of 'please take me now' in the facial features of her expression. At least that was what I was reading. Of course being madly in love with a woman whom you have married does tend to fuzz the expressions a bit.

"What?" she asked.

"I was told that I could not have done it without you," I said.

"Well now I know why I didn't hear that," replied Sofia rather matter of fact.

"You do?"

"Of course? Why tell me something I know already?"

Serana took a moment to look out from the trail across the great valley of Lake Ilinalta which was a few thousand feet below us. The healthy living glow of Sovngarde was gone from her skin now, and she was once again cold to the touch and hungry. She sighed as she looked through the swirling snow at the dull grey landscape beneath us obscured by the mists of the sky between us and the ground below.

"I gave up Sovngarde for this?" she practically shouted. "How can I ever be happy now that I know that all I've got are the cold brown clots?"

I looked at her.

"If you say 'I told you so' I'm going to drain you to a husk," she snarled.

"I said nothing!" I protested.

"But you're thinking it," she snapped. "I just know it."

What was there to say to that? We continued down the mountain.

"The wagon is in Whiterun," she sighed. "We're going to have to walk all the way back."

"Pretty much," I replied.

"And then on to Castle Dawnguard, and get all those nice warm fuzzy feelings from Isran and Durak."

"Pretty much," I repeated it.

"And then we march to the castle and face my father," she continued

I figured I didn't need to say 'pretty much' again.

"And if I die and end up in Coldharbor then."

"You're going to have words with Molag Bal?" I queried.

"Not funny, Val."

"You won't stay in Coldharbor forever," suggested Sofia.

"What?"

"When I die and reach Sovngarde, if I find out he's got you there, I'll charge in and and get you myself and if he tries to stop me? They won't be calling it Coldharbor any more. It'll be known as Hotdesert," replied Sofia.

"Sofia?" asked Serana.

"What?"

"I couldn't ask for a better friend, thanks."

"You are so lucky you found me," suggested Sofia.

"Pretty much," giggled Serana. "Aurelian is going to be getting a rather long letter from me telling him all about Sovngarde."

She seemed to have a wistful expression on her face and sighed again. I suspected she was thinking out that letter in her head. Of course given the seriously epic quality of what we had just experienced, being fully immeshed in the supernatural does that you know, I suspected she would be thinking about it for a long time. As was I for that matter. Even Sofia was actually thinking. And that's saying something.

(But don't tell her I said that. She'll suspend marital privileges for a month if you know what I mean. That's the problem with women you see, sooner or later they reach that stage of maturity where they discover that not only can they threaten such a measure, they can implement it and NOT SUCCUMB to your efforts at seduction. And I mean by the time you've lived with her for 20 years, you know every single trick there is to get her seriously aroused. Problem is they have discovered the power of will power and it goes to their heads. I was lucky in a way, it took a lot longer for Sofia to reach that stage. There's something to be said about falling in love with a totally self-centered women. They are way easier to seduce for way longer than the smart and level headed ones.)

"You know it's kind of funny," mused Sofia as we continued to trudge down the mountain said. "We've lost the music of Sovngarde, the food of Sovngarde, the wine and the colors and warmth. We've tasted those and they're gone but one thing has survived."

"Oh?" I asked.

"My love for you," she said bumping herself into my side. That was of course my cue to put my arm around her shoulders. "I still feel that love that I discovered I really had for you when I was there."

"Well that is, in the end, what is supposed to last," I replied. "Love we have for each other endures even after death. Which is why we will be able to raid Coldharbor and rescue Serana if we have to. The fact that we love her too will ensure that."

"So now I only have eyes for you my love," continued Sofia.

"Really?" I asked.

"Sorry, I was thinking about alcohol," she replied.

I swatted her on her tush.

We stayed at Iverstead that night, and then walked to Whiterun the next day. Jarl Balgruuf then insisted on a victory feast so we ended up staying another day for that. Sofia noted that the drink and food was not as good as had been in Sovngarde, but she kept that opinion to herself until we got back to Breezehome. Otherwise she was your typical little piggy, stuffing herself with the food and ale. Serana began by nibbling a bit on the sausage and taking sips of the mead, and then put them down and simply looked downright miserable. Jarl Balgruuf noticed her despondency and tried to cheer her up reminding her that she had returned a living legend. She responded by thanking him for the effort but excused her melancholy on the grounds that for her, the fight was not yet over with and the hardest battle she would face would shortly commence. He queried her on that and she ended up opening up to him and giving him the full story. And shortly into it, she took his hands and held them, even after he tried to get away. Her strength you see, it lent itself to iron grips when she was stressed out. So there he was, with a somewhat shocked, amazed, and slightly panicked look to his face while Serana started out with her families initial worshiping of Molag Bal, her being offered to him, and then her father's discovery of the prophecy, and on and on and on. Part of me was thinking it would be slightly heroic to rescue the Jarl from the grip of Serana but the other part of me simply did not want to interrupt her. It was very hard watching her struggle with her experiences and her past. I very much wanted to cheer her up. But I also very much wanted her to cease being a vampire. And as I had told Sofia once upon a time, Serana had to realize she was miserable before she would abandon the lure of immortality. So I bit my tongue and held on to the table and refused to rescue the Jarl. And when Irileth began to express concern, I ran interference.

After the feast, Serana walked rather swiftly to her coffin in the wagon and got in, closed the lid, and locked it behind her. Sofia and I walked into Breezehome and slept on our bed there while Lydia worried about Serana's behavior. The next morning we had breakfast without Serana and, after checking that she was still in her coffin with the lid locked tight, we hitched up the horses and rode out.

"Why am I depressed?" sighed Sofia. "I'm a heroine now. I should be on the top of the world."

"Same reason why I'm down too," I replied quietly. "We earned our immortality in Sovngarde and we had to come back to Tamriel. And the colors are not as colorful, the wine is not as sweet, the food is not as savoy, and we have to deal with people who's bodies are not perfect, and who's faces are not handsome or lovely. And it doesn't help it's winter and everything is pretty much dead until spring."

"I guess," she replied. "Will we ever recover?"

"I hope so," I answered. "I suspect that in time, we'll think of Sovngarde as a sweet memory and it won't stand in the way of enjoying what we have down here for we will have forgotten the immense perfection that was in Sovngarde."

Sofia sighed.

"About now is the time I usually drop hints for mead," she continued. "But right now I'm not in the mood. I had the Honningbrew Special last night and it didn't taste as good as the stuff in Shor's Hall. It just wasn't the same." She paused and sighed. "Even this wagon, which has so many special memories tied up with it, is looking barely washed and dull. I'm kind of going through a crises right now."

"No more love songs for alcohol?" I queried.

"I'm down to just you," she replied with a discouraged sigh. "You are the only thing that has come out the other side just as nice as you were inside."

"Poor baby," I replied, not entirely happy about her answer, but I had gotten this from her for so often that it kind of just rolled off my back.

So the wagon quietly rolled down the roads of Skyrim until later in the evening we pulled into Dawnguard vale and settled in by the Castle. Serana remained locked in her coffin.

"She's really got it bad," sighed Sofia as we stared at the open closet and the locked lid which covered her coffin.

I knocked on the lid. It was after sunset, though there was still twilight in the sky.

"Seri?" I said. "We're at castle Dawnguard."

"And that's supposed to make me want to come out?" came her muffled query.

"We miss you," I suggested.

"I'm right here," she replied. "And I'm not leaving."

"But Agmear won't be able to see you if you stay locked in the coffin," I suggested.

"He's not Aurelian," she retorted.

"Are you planning on staying locked in your coffin for the whole night?" I asked.

"Yes."

"And all day tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"When do you plan on coming out?"

"I don't know. I'm upset. I'm depressed. I don't see the point of living. I don't see the point of living and I'm not even alive!"

And then I heard her sobs.

"And I can't even cry any more." she wailed.

Sofia sighed, raised her fist and tilted it to her mouth, which was her signal for me to secure her a few bottles of mead. I nodded and left to find a hidden cache of it in one of my secret compartments while I heard Sofia say, "I'm sitting on the lid to be with you Seri. Just so you know I won't be leaving you."

"You're just looking for an excuse to get drunk," muttered the muffled voice under the lid.

"Yeah so?" replied Sofia. "You prefer I find it some where else?" She sat with a very audible thump on the lid while I handed off the half a dozen bottles to her. With a skill that only supple fingers long trained could master, she popped the cork and raised the first bottle's lip to her mouth.

"My wife in her natural state," I mused. She gave me a slight smile and then resumed drinking.

I walked out of the wagon and past the tents of the refugees. The Dawnguard nodded as I walked into the castle. It was after the evening meal so there were only a few of them in the dining room but Isran was there.

"I presume you are here with news?" He said.

"You've not heard of what has happened?" I queried.

"No? Should I?" he answered.

"No matter," I said. "You'll hear it soon enough I'm sure. It's all for the best I'm thinking." I pulled out Auriel's Bow from off of my back and showed it to him.

"The bow," he said. "You have Auriel's Bow. I heard it described in tales, but I could never have imagined it's beauty."

I looked at the bow for a second. And in spite of the fact that I was not in Sovngarde, the bow did seem to hint of that divine place in it's features. It was indeed attractive in a shimmering sort of way. "This is the bow," I said. "We've got it safe now. And I think the Dawnguard's duty will be to protect it from this point on, once of course Harkon has been defeated."

Isran nodded. "Indeed. The day hasn't been won while Harkon still walks Tamriel. It's time to take the fight to him. To destroy him and all the blood suckers in that castle."

"We're going to need the entire Dawnguard," I suggested.

He shook his head. "To many innocents here. We'll leave behind a guard. Besides," He added looking at me. "While you've been out in the field with your adventures, we have been training to kill vampires. Harkon may be great and powerful, but he won't be fighting normal soldiers, but men trained to strike where and when vampires are the most vulnerable. We don't need the entire Dawnguard."

"I hope you're right," I sighed.

"But what of Serana? Can she be trusted to lift a blade against her own kind? Her own family?"

I nodded. "She's preparing even as we speak," I added.

"Good," he said. "Tomorrow morning you will speak to the entire Dawnguard and we'll prepare to march."

And so the next morning I gathered before the entire Dawnguard and held aloft Auriel's Bow.

"This is the bow of destiny!" I cried. "The bow that came from Akatosh himself. A bow forged from the very sun itself! A bow which has become the doom of all life in Tamriel!"

That got their attention. And so I proceeded. I told them of the entire history of the bow from it's inception to the betrayal of the Snow Elves by the Dweemer and how Vyrthur had become infected and rejected the chance of a cure, instead blaming the gods for his misery. How he had come to understand how the bow might be twisted to pervert the very sun itself and so spread the prophecy that Harkon had seen and in his lust for total power, had embraced it with no thought of the final consequences of such an action. And I made sure they understood the full consequences. And the fear began to rise in them. How his own wife and daughter, vampires themselves, were willing to align with the Dawnguard to stop him. And then I told them the whole story of Lamae and how she had been the first vampire, created by the rape of Molag Bal at the dawn of time. And how Valerica and Serana had been given to Molog Bal to suffer the same fate and so had also been created. Thus the Dawnguard needed to see Serana as a victim rather than a monster, a tragedy rather than a predator. I worked very hard on the whole Molag Bal angle I will confess. And I could see the boiling rage in the men and not a few sighs of sympathy from the women. And so the Dawnguard was ready, it's rage directed at the source of vampirism and not the vampires themselves. That this was a battle against a daedra, and not a creature.

In the meantime, Sofia was back at the wagon talking to Serana, through that locked lid. Now Sofia is very adept at not shutting up when she's got a mission. Usually her mission is getting the boys to buy her mead and play them off each other. She was now working on getting Serana out of that coffin. And that evening, Serana finally came out of that coffin, quiet and subdued, but still very sad. And then she walked with Sofia into Castle Dawnguard thinking she was just going to coordinate with the Dawnguard for the final assault and the first thing she met in the foyer was Agmear who said very sweetly, "It's okay! We understand now!" and he gave her a Full Body Nord Bear Hug. And there was Serana with a face utterly confused and stunned having the stuffing squeezed out of her by that young Nord guy who's expressions conveyed a great deal of youthful male infatuation with a pretty girl quality with them. Then she walked into the dining room and there the entire Dawnguard greeted her and several of them sat around her and chatted and in short, folks just tried to make sure she felt welcome.

There was a brief crises because someone tried to slice her some sausage and cut their thumb right in front of her and that red blood welled up and everyone saw the expression on her face. But then they saw her jump up and back away and then turn her face from the young man and then the cheers broke out. When she turned back, she was face to face with Isran.

"Now you are one of us," he said in that gruff tone of his. "Don't disappoint me. I expect nothing but the best from the you."

The next day was spent preparing the Dawnguard for the march. Provisions for a week were needed, and the jobs needed assigning. And then on the 7th of Sun's Dawn, we set out. For three days we marched. More than a few queries were sent to our column. Jarls get somewhat agitated when armed forces in full military attire and discipline cross the boarders into their Jarldoms. But by the ninth, as we were marching past Morthal, word of Alduin's defeat and our involvement in it reached the column and that night we were bombarded with questions about that battle and what it meant. But when the Dawnguard realized that Serana too had been in Sovngarde with us, well, everyone wanted to know what she thought of it too. And she started talking about her family that were up there, and what began to dawn upon her was that for these ordinary Nords, with their own struggles and failings, the knowledge that even a vampire might be able to taste of Sovngarde gave them renewed hope that they too might some day qualify to enter that hallowed hall. Of course Sofia and I were going back, we had killed Alduin, but Serana, a vampire, was special.

I had observed to Sofia that the only thing that crossed easily from Sovngarde to Tamriel was love and fellowship. And Serana, by feeling that out-welling of fellowship had begun to once again taste of Sovngarde. And that was what was needed to bring her out of her slump. The knowledge that she had not lost everything when she had returned. But even so, she remained frequently quiet and contemplative and wrote many pages which she would seal into envelopes addressed to Aurelian and pass them off to couriers each time we passed a village or town. I was rather busy in the evenings making rose scented oil for her to rub the letters in.

On the evening of the 10th, we reached the northern shores of Haafinger and saw Castle Volkihar across that narrow band of water. On the 11th, rafts to ferry us across to the castle were built. Then on the 12th, the entire Dawnguard began to prepare for the final assault. Each person was liberally supplied with potions to cure disease, prayers to the Gods were offered, and the attack was scheduled to begin the moment the sun had set.

"Are you all crazy!" shouted Serana when Isran made the announcement. She walked right up to him in front of the entire Dawnguard. "Sunset is when we become our strongest! You should be attacking at dawn!"

"You think so?" replied Isran in his world famous upbeat tone that did absolutely nothing even remotely suggesting of purple flowers, yellow sunshine, blue butterflies, and brown fuzzy bunnies gamboling on the green sward. "It is precisely because the Vampire thinks they are at their strongest at night when they are not the most on guard. Our attack is well broadcast. The vampires know we are here. They've heard rumors of our approach for days. They've seen us prepare. They are waiting for us to attack tomorrow at dawn. We will take them by surprise tonight while they feast upon their so called cattle preparing themselves to face us in the sun tomorrow. And in so doing we might save the lives of a few of their thralls."

"I still think the threat outweighs your so called advantage," she replied.

"Of course you do. You may be a vampire, but by Stendarr you know little of military matters for you are merely the daughter of a powerful lord with no education in these things. I've fought my whole life and the entire Dawnguard knows I intend to win this with as few casualties as possible."

Serana looked at him with annoyance. He returned the gesture.

"Will I ever be able to persuade you to like me?" she asked.

"Who says I don't like you?" he replied in that dour tone.

"Well for starters you've never smiled," she answered.

"Smiling is for the weak."

She turned to the Dawnguard with her mouth hanging open, her fangs somewhat visible and wide eyed she shrugged her shoulders while holding her arms out palms facing the entire assembly. Durak began to laugh and the rest of the Dawnguard joined in.

And so that evening as the sun set, we boarded the rafts and began to cross. Very quickly into it, the more keen sighted, and Sorien, thanks to some curious tube with glass lenses inserted into it that she had built from the recovered schematics of a Dweemer ruin, noted frenzied activity on the walls of the tower in front of the castle. But as we approached the castle, what movement we were able to discern was to the castle and away from the tower. So when the rafts scrapped the shores and the Dawnguard's huzzah's died, we found ourselves facing a down portcullis and closed gate behind it.

"What are they doing?" asked Durak. He scowled. "What is this cowardice hiding behind these barriers?"

"Harkon knows he's had a march stolen from him," growled Isran. "He hides so that he might prepare more fully."

"Not going to get the chance," I mused. I faced the portcullis. "Fus! RO DAH!" I shouted. The iron work shuddered but held.

"You know? That didn't work," suggested Sofia.

"You think?" replied Serana.

"Well, thanks to some weather adjustments up in Sovngarde," I replied. "I know what to do next." I turned to face the sky. "Dur NEH VIIR!"

A second later, accompanied by the shocked and panicked cries of the Dawnguard, Durnehviir arrived and landed with a very audible earth tremoring thump in front of the entire company. "Ha! Dragonborn," he bellowed with a jubilant tone. He really loved being summoned to Tamriel. And I tried to do so at least once a week. "Have you summoned me for some more Elk hunting?"

"He summons a dragon to hunt Elk?" queried Gunmar facing Durak. "That doesn't seem sporting."

"Sporting?" snorted Durak. "What's this about giving the Elk a fair chance? If you can kill it with a dragon, you do it faster and kill even more elk as a result. Then the tribe gets to feast."

"First," I said to Durnehviir. "I need you to combine a force shout with me to blow that portcullis off."

"What? This?" asked Durnehviir who with a delicate bite, grabbed the iron grill and yanked it out of the archway. He casually spat it to the side. "Seems a waste of words when something is so thin and easy to tear off."

"And I thought you were strong," suggested Sofia to Serana.

"So did I," sighed Serana.

It took everyone a second since of course no one expected that portcullis to be so easily disposed of.

Finally, "We can do the door now," suggested Sorien.

"Right," I said. "Fus! ROH DAH!" and the door exploded into splinters.

"Is that it Dragonborn?" asked Durnehviir.

"No, that is not," I answered. "You are commanded to go forth and spread terror among the foul and evil Elk of Tamriel. Feel free to eat them too."

With a laugh, for Dragons have no objections to being ordered to do things they love doing to start with, Durnehviir flew aloft and with a howl the Dawnguard charged into the castle. To say that the vampires had not expected us to break into the castle that quickly would be a bit of an understatement. It wasn't so much a fight as a slaughter. The vampires had all their natural advantages, but as Isran has pointed out, the Dawnguard was trained to fight the vampire when it was at it's strongest. Armored trolls happily ripped arms off, Dawnguard orcs eagerly swung two handed blades, Dawnguard Elves enthusiastically fired off crossbows, and the rest of the Dawnguard doggedly plied swords and boards or magic. In a matter of moments it was over with. The Vampires did not even have the chance to realize they were being slaughtered and panic. The way to the temple was open, and Isran stood there facing us.

I turned to Sofia and gave her a kiss. "You ready?" I asked.

"Of course, after Alduin, this should be rather routine," she replied.

"Don't underestimate father," sighed Serana.

"There is no reason why the entire Dawnguard can't come to help you," observed Isran. "Make it quick and efficient."

"I have to face him," she said. "And there will be words."

"Especially words," I added. "I have to talk with him too. There is something he needs to know before he is put on the receiving end of this." And with my left hand I brought up Auriel's Bow in a subtle gesture of 'here it is'. I handed the bow to Sofia, and the sun hallowed arrows we had received from Gelebor. And we walked through the door and into the chapel of Molog Bal.

Harkon was there in that hybrid bat human form he had displayed back when Sofia and I had first returned Serana to the castle.

"Serana my darling," he began in a soft voice. "I see you still favor keeping pets."

"I'm not a dog," muttered Sofia. "I don't go around doing that thing on your leg."

"You know why we are here," Serana replied in a voice tinged with anger and grief.

"Of course I do," he replied. "You disappoint me Serana. You've taken everything I provided for you and thrown it all away for this . . . pathetic couple."

"Provided for me?" she gasped. "Are you insane? You've destroyed our family. You've killed other vampires. Over some prophecy we barely understand. No more. I'm done with you. You will not touch them."

"So," he mused. "I see this dragon has fangs. Your voice drips with the venom of your mother's influence. How alike you've become."

"No . . ." replied Serana. "Because unlike her. I'm not afraid of you. Not anymore."

"And you . . ." He said turning to us. "It appears I have you to thank for turning my daughter against me. I knew it was only a matter of time before she'd return with hatred in her heart."

"Hatred? After all the time you didn't spend with her, after thinking of sacrificing her for the 'good' of all vampires?" I replied. "Seriously now. You think you had nothing to do with this?"

"A small price to pay for the betterment of our kind," he replied.

"Oh?" I replied. "Your kind? The sort that kills his own daughter and threatens his own wife? The sort that drives all of Tamriel to the brink of a horrifying doom? Your kind is a blight on this world."

"Yes yes," he replied. "Always the noble vampire hunter. And what happens when you've slain me. Is Valerica next? Is Serana?"

"What? You jealous you won't get to kill them first?" snarked Sofia.

"This is about more than killing vampires," I replied. "Even the Dawnguard knows that."

"Ah of course," he replied. "The prophecy. You've come here to stop me from taking Auriel's Bow and shrouding the world in darkness. I"ll give you a single chance to turn the bow over to me. There will not be a second."

"A single chance?" I said. "You mean even after all this if I just hand the bow over things will be resolved?" I paused and said a single whisper. "Wedge."

Harkon paused for a moment since my tone has suggested I might actually be playing with the idea of turning the bow over to him. And I will admit I was. Things were utterly depending on him knowing I was telling him the truth, and the whole truth, and nothing but the whole truth. Accordingly I had worked very hard at mentally preparing myself to surrender that bow over, regardless of the consequences. Sofia and Serana both knew I was going to do this. And with firm resolve we had determined to take this risk. Serana's family reunification entirely depended upon it. For this one moment, Harkon would have to be able to trust me implicitly.

But as for Sofia and Serana, they got behind me and with both hands, I threw up a ward. A ring of Magicka regeneration, a potion of Magicka regeneration, and a nice serving of Elsweyr fondue meant I'd be able to keep the ward up for a few moments. But of course Harkon didn't know I had planned this out to this detail. If he were smart, he'd wait for the ward to die and then I'd be out of magicka. But if what I planned worked, this would be over long before then.

"Let us say," I continued. "That we do turn over the bow. Sofia's got it it right now. And let us say we even stand back and let you take Seri's heart's blood and taint the bow so that you can shroud the world in darkness. What will you do then?"

"I rule," he snorted. "Vampires walk without fear. That silly idea of wars unending is just Valerica's fears."

"Fair enough," I replied. He paused, uncertain. He had of course expected me to make some sort of objection to him ruling. "So what happens when all of us cattle die?"

"We won't kill you all," he replied. "You at least will be spared for turning over the bow. And once you all realize we rule, you will submit meekly and hope that you will live long before we feed upon you. And maybe some of you will hope for transformation."

"Really? You don't think we will all die? I mean how can we not die?" I asked. "We'll be starving to death you know."

"What?" He laughed. "There are cattle aplenty for you to feast upon. And you eat that grass you call wheat and oats. You will survive on that."

"How can we?" I asked. "The cattle and wheat and the grass you speak off, will be dead already."

"The grass grows all over Tamriel," he snorted. It won't stop growing. Why would it stop growing?"

"No sun," whispered Serana, her eyes widening with horror realizing for the first time what Harkon's prophecy really meant. "Father, the grass lives because of the sun."

"Yes, Lord Volkihar," I said. "Why do you think the grass dies in the winter? There's less sunlight. Why do you think the snow falls in the winter? It's colder. Why do you think it's colder? There's less sunlight."

His eyes began to widen.

"Your prophecy was put together by a bitter former priest of Akatosh who wanted to wreak vengeance upon the Gods. Like the Daedra, he could not strike directly at the Gods, but he could strike indirectly. He could destroy all of Tamriel with one of the God's very own weapons. So he put together a prophecy that would achieve such because sooner or later he knew a vampire would see only the end of the tyranny of sunlight and never ask the question of what would come next. And he knew a vampire would never see the end because the vampire itself was a creation by Molag Bal to sabotage the transition of death to the Gods which had been created by Arkay."

Harkon was just hovering there, indecisive. My ward continued to shimmer in front of me.

"So here is what would happen Lord Volkihar," I said. "I give you the bow, you kill Serana, you taint that bow, and put out the sun. Then in the first few nights you rejoice and wander the lands of Tamriel feasting as you wish and setting up your reign. But then the crops fail, it keeps getting colder and colder, and people start to starve. And then it starts to snow and it doesn't stop. The lands are buried and the very oceans begin to freeze. People fight over the last vestiges of food and then resort to canibalism to live. And you get colder and colder and then even you freeze solid with your beloved castle buried under a mile of snow. And then the snow buries you and you feel the slow pressure of the ice crushing you into extinction, your last days a frozen statue unable to move in an increasingly darkening environment desperately craving blood which is no longer present. Then you will find yourself in Coldharbor and Molag Bal laughing at your efforts to rule while doing one better, destroying all of Tamriel."

Harkon transformed back into his human form. He fell to his knees and just stared at us.

"Did you really trust Molag Bal that much to think that he would give you a gift that would not have a poison in it?" I asked. "Of course he let you pursue this prophecy knowing that you would end up destroying Tamriel. He hates the Gods. Of course he was silent, if not subtly encouraging you, even to the point of driving away your own wife whom you loved dearly once upon a time, and your own daughter, who you once held and snuggled as a child. Because he knew that in the end, you would destroy the entire world pursuing what you thought was a vampire's paradise. A paradise he knows can never come to fulfillment."

He remained silent, my ward, thank the Gods, remained shimmering. He was still struggling mentally with the picture I had drawn coupled with the sacrifices and intensity in which he had pursued his end. But such is the power of truth, once you hear it, you know it for what it is. His will was in full collapse.

"I promised your daughter I would try to reunite your family, Lord Volkihar. And this is your chance to be a family again. It will take time before your wife trusts you enough to come back. But you can at least make a start. So what's it going to be, the bow and a short time of power before you find yourself in a cold dark oblivion filled night than ends with you dying an agonizing death and being Molag Bals' slave for all eternity, or not the bow and your family back?"

He remained on his knees and stared at us, his gaze shifting more and more to Serana. And for what seemed an eternity, we just looked at each other. My ward continued to shimmer and he continued to look at us with that agonizing uncertainty in his gaze Then suddenly it was as if he had finally seen it through. A brief look of grief and horror crossed his features.

"Serana?" He choked. "Serana?"

"Daddy?" she replied back, her voice also cracking.

"You Shall Not Have Him Back!" pronounced the altar of Molog Bal behind him. The voice echoed through the room. "You might have stopped my plans with him but you won't get him back. He's MINE!"

"Oh my (insert crude word for love making here) Shor," suggested Sofia.

Harkon rose into the air, and once again transformed into his bat human hybrid. Then he lifted his right hand and a great ugly mace formed in his grip.

"Take my mace," said the altar, "And with it destroy these mortals."

"Daddy! Stop!" cried Serana.

"That's not your father any more!" I shouted. "Molag has taken the body. You're fighting him now!"

I formed a two handed fireball and unleashed it while Sofia let an arrow fly from Auriel's bow and the battle was joined.

Gargoyles broke free, undead began to crawl and clatter, and Harkon's body, in the form of a cloud of bats, struck left and right.

"How in Oblivion are we supposed to fight a Daedra?" shouted Sofia unleashing arrow after arrow and illuminating the room with the bursts of sunlight as each arrow struck home.

"Same way we fought Alduin," I howled back. "One fireball at a time." I proceeded to demonstrate the said tactic on the cloud of bats who seemed rather capable of absorbing the damage much to my annoyance.

"You just had to waste your magicka on that ward!" she accused.

"Said by she who assured me this was going to be routine!" I snarked back as I swung to the left and behind a pillar to avoid being skewered by three ancient nordic arrows being fired by yet even more skeletons who were crawling out of the stonework.

Serana dashed by me draining a gargoyle while taking passing swings on the skeletons.

"It was worth the effort," I continued pulling out my sword and shield since, true to Sofi's annoying observation, I had finished off my magicka reserves. "We saved Harkon!"

"I'm so thrilled!" screamed Sofia ducking Harkon's body trying to rake her with it's claws. "It's so great (duck another swipe) that we're reuniting a pack of bloodsucking (whacking a skeleton) vampires in order to make (leap out of the way of an incoming chunk of rock thrown by a gargoyle) Seri a happy vampire girl!"

"Give me back my father you son of a bitch!" screamed Serana. There was something vaguely familiar about that line of hers.

"Never!" sneered Molag Bal striking with his mace. His strike went home and Serana staggered with her shoulder shattered. I turned and cast necromantic healing upon her while Sofia hit him with arrow after arrow. Under the burning piercing strikes of those arrows, even a daedra could not hold his ground. And as Molag was in a vampire's body, he was feeling those strikes far more poignantly than he would have had he just come by himself. But even so, we would have been shortly overwhelmed if something else had not happened.

Molag Bal had made a very crucial mistake. He had announced his arrival with a loud booming voice and down in the dining room with the rest of the Dawnguard was a Priest of Arkay named Florentius whom Isran really didn't like. Not that Isran actually liked anyone as far as we could tell. But Arkay was particularly fond of this priest, not that any one actually believed that in the Dawnguard. And when they heard that booming voice and wondered what the three of us had just unleashed, given that Arkay had his own particular grudge match against Molog Bal, the vampire thing you know, he apparently told Florentius what the situation was. The Dawnguard didn't have to be told twice. After that it took only a few more seconds before the entire Dawnguard came howling into that room to join us. I had after all, in order to get the Dawnguard to accept Serana as a fellow combatant, gotten them to see the Daedra behind the fangs. They were prepped to fight not against the vampires, but against Molag himself. And now Molag found himself with way more swords, hammers, axes, and crossbow bolts than he had initially accounted for.

It was over pretty fast then. The skeletons shattered and the bones flew, the gargoyles shattered and the gemstones and chunks of ore were skittering across the floor and then the body that had been Harkon exploded into red darkness and fell as dust onto the base of Molog Bal's altar. Everyone was cheering and waving their weapons in the air, except Serana who knelt before the armor and red glowing dust that had been Harkon and spasmed in that no tears grief which vampires exhibit.

"Nice mace, Molag," I observed picking up the fallen weapon. I walked over to the altar. "Let's see how good it is," I continued. And I struck that altar again and again until the head flew off and the basin shattered and the blood within splattered over the floor. I looked at Serana kneeling before Harkon's armor and dust. Sofia came over and put her hands on Serana's shoulders.

"Hey," I said. "Your family is back now. You can go on with the happy memory that your father came back to you from the abyss."

She looked up at me. "It's not the same," she sighed. "He's been taken by Molog Bal."

"Not forever," I replied. "Remember what we were told in Sovngarde. He's in Coldharbor now, dragged there against his will, but he won't stay there. Once we die, we'll get him back for he had turned. That gives the Gods all the edge they need to take him back."

"I want to be with you when you do that," she said looking up at us.

"You'll need to be in Sovngarde first," I suggested with a grin.

"Yes," she said. "I will."

I had not entirely expected that sort of response from her. But adventures have that sort of surprise to them.

**Singing the Finale**

The Mace of Molog Bal and Auriel's Bow were given to the Dawnguard for safekeeping. Once Serana, Sofia, and I had seen them off, we walked back to Valerica's Laboratory and Serana and I returned to the Soul Cairn to let her mother know what had happened. Sofia did not come with me because her period had not yet started, it was a few days before it was due, and she did not want to take any chances. Valerica came back, with all her stuff, and we spent a day unpacking it in the castle. To see those two women sitting next to each other, mother and daughter, was a sight to see. Especially when we had dinner together and Sofia and I sat across from them while they were drinking blood potions and looking at us with those glowing red eyes. There is something about a vampiric stare which is rather unnerving. We had gotten used to Serana, but stereo stares by her and her mother was a bit more than Sofia and I were prepared to handle with a laugh and stiff mug of mead. Valerica's reaction to Serana's description of the battle was taken with a healthy does of skepticism, but in the end, there was a wistful expression upon her features which suggested that even if she didn't entirely believe that he had begun to come back at the end, she wished she could.

Sofia and I returned to Solitude and spent a few weeks just unwinding and setting our affairs in order with careful investments so that we might have an annual income that did not depend on us going out and killing things. This isn't to say we stopped adventuring. There would be days when Sofia would look at me and say, "It's a nice morning . . . We can . . . Um . . . Or we can . . .um . . Ah Oblivion take it let's go out and kill something." And there were a few more curious happenings which propelled us into longer adventures over the next two years. But fortunately events needing our personal attention settled down as younger and more eager lads and lasses stepped into the breach to show the Dragonborn how it was really done.

The letters between Aurelian and Serana continued to fly thick and fast when she was not visiting him in the Imperial City, which was at least every other month. And then I got a letter from Serana which told me how he had proposed to her. As Serana explained it, given how my brother operated, she played coy enough to leave enough of his questions unanswered unless he was willing to commit to a deeper relationship. And she raised the commitments he would have to make by degrees. So he was slowly step by step lured into a proposal. But to make it formal, the entire family resolved to come to Solitude and Serana, who had decided that Sofia and I could not get rid of her that easily, informed me that she would be there a few weeks before they arrived to help begin the arrangements.

Sofia was out shopping with Jordis in her never ending quest to buy up all the alcohol in the Jarldom of Haafinger when Serana came through the gates and walked towards me smiling while I was in the market plaza negotiating with a local peddler over some of the various jewelry pieces I had either found and enchanted or made and then enchanted. I saw her approaching, smiled at her and wrapped up my business with the man before I turned and noticed several things about her. The first was that she was smiling in broad daylight and then I noticed she was not wearing her hood. I promptly was about to ask her if she had just gotten a full live feeding when she said, "How do I look now?"

So I looked again harder. And then I said, "Seri? It's a good thing that Sofi isn't here to explode into a jealous rage because you really deserve to hear this. In all the time I've known you, I've never seen you looking so beautiful."

Her eyes, you see, they were a sapphire blue, almost as pretty as Sofia's.

"The world is alive," she sighed. "And so am I."

The marriage was held in Proudspire as those of us who knew better thought Castle Volkihar would be a little too . . .um . . . creepy for the rest of the family to celebrate the wedding in. Valarica was slowly getting back the thralls and cattle. Old habits die hard. But the Dawnguard kept their promise to leave that castle untouched. So Valarica came to Solitude for the wedding and stayed for a few days and got to meet Sybille and the two of them hit it off after a few conversations in which they flexed their particular vampiric powers at each other. Serana and she had words however. Her mother was shocked and a little disappointed that her daughter had returned to mortality. Serana simply started talking about Sovngarde and her mother replied that she had heard enough of Sovngarde which suggested to me that they had fought this fight out a few times prior.

Mother of course was quite happily scheming through the wedding and father was taking it in stride. Jarl Elisif, having been fully enlightened by me on what mother was actually trying to do, and likewise being informed that I under no circumstances wanted to be Emperor, and getting some advice from Serana prior, proceeded to play like she was entirely in mother's camp until the moment mother was gone and then returned to business as usual.

Serana and Aurelian had their honeymoon in Cyrodiil and during that time Sofia concluded she was likely pregnant again. And then she started counting the days until she would start to throw up. It was in the early summer that the buckets came out for Sofia and it was mid-summer that Aurelian and Serana came back from their honeymoon and visited us. Aurelian had some things he needed to talk about.

"I'm really out of my league here," he admitted one afternoon as we shared a mug of ale on the porch one warm summer's afternoon while Sofia and Serana were out shopping for baby supplies. "I mean it's not that I've had experience with women, but Serana has some curious quirks I was hoping you would explain."

"Such as?" I asked.

He opened the collar of his shirt and showed me the base of his neck. On the left side was a wide and thick purple bruise. "She does this when we are making love," he explained. "Once things get really going she latches on and won't let go until she climaxes."

"Valentine! What's so damn funny!" was what he said next. I will concede I was laughing for a good five seconds.

"You really don't know why?" I asked when I had recovered enough to express myself between chuckles.

"No!"

I worked at suppressing the giggles for a few more seconds. "I won't be the one to tell you why," I replied. "Though I do know the answer. Just keep asking her about her life before she met you and at some point it will come out and you will know why."

He didn't let up but I kept my mouth shut. But when Serana came back I took her to the side before she had a chance to reconnect with Aurelian.

"He's asking about why you suck on the base of his neck when you are making love," I informed her.

If there had been any doubts that she was no longer a vampire, these were dispelled when I saw that very bright pink and healthy looking glow of a genuine blush.

"You're going to have to come clean on that at some point, girl," I continued with a slight smile.

"I will," she replied fanning herself and rapidly breathing. "But one deep and dark secret at a time please," she finished.

She did eventually tell him, but it took a few years and even then he sort of freaked out. But she simply asked him if he would have married her if he had known prior and of course he admitted he would not have. And thus he fully discovered he had met his match in the relationship game.

Our son, whom we named Baldor because he was so cute, was born at the beginning of winter.

Serana and Aurelian had three children and Sofia and I had five, three sons and two daughters. The second son was named Harkon after Serana's father, a sort of promise to her and besides, it's a decent enough Nord name. Another son was named Martin. Our daughters were named Elisif and Freya. While as time went on, Aurelian was unable to visit as often as we would have liked, that did not stop Serana who still came at least twice if not three times a year. And of course the children loved their Auntie Nibbles. If you have to ask why they gave her that nickname, you really need to take a course in literature comprehension.

Mother persisted in her intrigue but Titus Mede successfully out smarted her by managing to be assassinated prior to mother's fully implemented plans. She promptly started scheming that I would replace the new Emperor, but he was a younger pup and she died before he got even middle aged. But she died happy. Father had passed prior and Aurelian had inherited all the important stuff, which was as it should be since he was still in the Imperial City with Serana. She proved the consummate hostess, especially for the evening banquettes and parties and other affairs. No surprise there. Sofia and I remained in Proudspire in Solitude and watched our children grow up into fine young Nordic Imperials getting into their own scrapes. Of course they got most of their ideas, the bad ones in particular, from me and Sofi's tales of our own adventures when we were young and thought we had it all figured out. Eventually I became the head of the Bard's College and there I am today, an older man with mostly grey hair and my Sofia remains by my side, somewhat more sober these days. And fatter. But don't even think of suggesting that to her. She still knows how to deliver a good solid kick to the side of my head.

But so what? She's no vampire. She's allowed to grow old alongside of me. And even though she's lost her youthful svelte physic, so have I, and that has had no impact on her most important feature. She still has that enchanting face of hers. I have never stopped thinking she has the face of a goddess and I still love looking at it, especially in the moonlight, like I did once upon a time in a stable outside of Whiterun. I just make sure the body is covered with blankets the nights I do that while she's asleep.

But sometimes she's been known to wake up and see me sitting next to the bed looking at her. And she smiles and closes her eyes again. "It's not like you've been stalking me or anything," she'll sometimes whisper.

People will ask me if I miss my days of adventuring as the Dragonborn and the whole of Skyrim looked up to me as the hero. And I have this to say to all those young pups out there.

All of life is an adventure. A grand and glorious one that has perils and triumphs that are beyond the ken of the young who think it's all about swinging an axe, looting a chest, and swilling the mead at the end of it. And until you live it, you really won't know how or why.

And you know? I'm okay with that.

* * *

For those of you who are reading this chapter for the first time, the next chapter is just the author's notes for this second part of the Valentine / Sofia story arc. If you are not into author's notes, just skip the next chapter and proceed to the next story arc, Honeymoon on the Honeywine. Included after that will be a few other snippets and whimseys which I have written regarding Valentine and Sofia in Skryim. Those are posted mostly for the reader's amusement.

This from Jack


	31. Chapter 31 - Author's Notes

I find myself at the end of another story, one that I've been working on for the last nine months though I didn't start posting it until three months ago when I was certain I would actually finish it. Like any story it's been a love affair with it's own rocky moments. Like my other fics, I will be taking the time here to tell you where I got some of my ideas since I don't write fanfic just for the fans, there are, in the words of the companions, young whelps out there who want to be writers themselves and I like sharing my methods with them. And I feel that I am qualified because, once upon a time I was a genuine professional doing this.

Like all fan fiction, I almost entirely ran off with a lot of other people's stuff. That's what's great about fanfic, you can steal with heartless abandon and impunity and laugh while you are doing so. Not that you want anyone to see you doing this, they might call the local insane asylum.

But first credit goes to John Jarvis who made the Sofia mod which is, from what I last noted when I checked the Nexus, now the most endorsed companion mod there. While Vilja remains the most downloaded, Sofia has her own loyal following simply because unlike other companion mods, which teem with cute and sexy girls who are happy to tag along and just look beautiful in the skimpy armor mods also available, Sofia is the only well known female dysfunctional companion there. She is comic in a way almost none of the other companions are not. Vilja has more than a little humor in her comments, such as when she muses about how the guards are losing their ears and blaming it on her. And likewise her admission that she's the one who put all those arrows into the guard's knees. But she is a level headed quick learning girl with a very adventurous and competent backstory that demonstrates her overall common sense versatility in contrast to Sofia who's comedic quality is based entirely on the fact that she's utterly self-absorbed and entirely incapable of reconciling her affection for the hero in an honest manner.

Of course, there is an backhanded reference to Vilja in the storyline, based on what was the reality of the time when I wrote that particular part, the phrase by Sofia when she's been shopping for mead in Whiterun and cleared out the last of the stock in the Bannered Mare, "I swear she's always in the front of the line" has to do with the fact that until just in the last few weeks prior to this stories publication, Sofia was always running behind Vilja in endorsements and downloads on the Nexus.

But that is not the only change in the 'facts of the case' in the writing of this fanfic. When I started, Sofia had no marriage quest nor comments she made while married and as I write this, Christine has just voiced even more lines which will, alas, never enter into this fanfic for I have finished it. This barring a sequel which comes to me in an inspiration some time in the future. I have saved the Valentine game just in case. So players who take the mod will be able to get married to Sofia, but never will they be able to wake up married in Markarth because they partied with Sanguine. But you know, both renditions of Sofia are quite consistent with her character. The marriage in the mod is entirely on Sofia's terms and just as messed up as Valentine's as a consequence.

Jarvis has created a character which stands out unique and original in her own fashion. And one which literally made this entire story possible. A sand box game is a hard thing to inspire a tale out of me, but take the best sand box game we have out there, and throw in one dysfunctional girl who's got a big crush on the hero, and you have a tale which is hopefully fun to read, but was immensely fun to write. I don't know how many times my wife looked at me behind the counter of the shop watching me snigger as I typed away and wondered what I was writing about. Even to the point of warning me that people might be seeing me through the display windows and conclude there was a strange man behind the counter of our boutique.

And based on the reviews (thanks a lot guys and gals) some of you at least are just as amused by the tale as I was, including some who play the game with the Sofia mod and know where of I speak. And that was the point.

Of course the last reason why I want to thank John is because he was good enough to send me tons of Sofia's lines and dialogues so I was able to accurately recreated them in the context of the story. For those of you who don't yet know, a lot of what Sofia says in my story will show up in any game you have her as a companion for. It won't be in the context I put it of course, but that is sadly, the limits of a computer game. Writers have way more latitude since we don't have the limits of Ram, Processor Speed, and Programming Acumen. We are only limited by the words we know and our imaginations so consequently, in the middle of your confrontation with Alduin in Sovngarde, Sofia will not demand that you approve her choice of make up. But that line's pedigree was from one of her voiced ones in the mod which is "If I am to die then I want to go out in style. Does my hair look alright?" Likewise that full line shows up when they are fighting in the Ancestor Glade.

The next person to thank is of course Christine Slagman, whom I've never met or talked to, having what knowledge of her from the lips of John Jarvis. So if anything I say annoys her, it's him she wants to kick up'side the head, not me. I only can go on what I'm told. She has her own web-sight and it showcases her musical talents which is one of the reasons why Valentine insists Sofia has the voice of a goddess. She knows how to sing well. The thing that triggered the goddess voice description in the fanfic was her rendition of Drunken Sailor which she did in a haunting fashion, something which up to this point I only thought Irish vocalists knew how to do. She also has a curious quality of accent which I originally interpreted as an American East Coast, specifically the mid-atlantic since Sofia's voice possesses that loud brassy quality which suggests the speaker would just as soon punch or argue with you as speak. Turns out it's Frisian which is why Sofia pronounces fussy as fuzzy and neither as needer and with as wid. As a little aside tribute to Christine's excellent voice work, I let that accent show itself in the dialogue when Sofia says the line, "Or are you scared of what we'll do wid you?" Otherwise I use proper spellings when the spell check is working.

She's not bad looking either, but she looks nothing like Sofia so I won't be describing her attributes here. You'll just have to go to her own web-sight and find out for yourself. And one of these days I will get around to signing her guest book and thanking her there as well.

Of course one of the more interesting things which gen'd a few moments in the fanfic was my persistent misunderstanding of why John and Christine did things a certain fashion. I presumed that the songs Sofia sang in the mod were written to be proper pieces with only the words mixed up and not some of the clumsy renditions of the lyrics. Turns out that also was their idea and it was quite deliberate. So you have Valentine taking some of the lyrics and polishing them up, not to perfection since he is only doing it briefly in front of her but he does improve their quality. I am personally sadly limited to the fact that in order for me to write proper lyrics which flow in good rhythm I need about an hour of work for each of the verses. My love song which Shepherd sings to Tali in my fanfic Shining Bright is a classic example of this. It took me close to 24 hours of writing and thinking and pacing to make that thing work out. And even then I'm not entirely happy with it. There are two original sets of lyrics in Song For Skyrim, the first and the one I spent about six hours on is "I Chanced Upon" and the second was only a two hour work which he sings to himself as he's grieving over the loss of his daughter Psuki. One of the reviews which touched me most deeply was that of a girl who admitted she too had suffered a miscarriage and she said I had caught the emotions that are experienced. But that song was triggered by a song I was hearing on the radio and I was initially trying to duplicate something like it and my second song started to morph into something else which I thought was way more evocative.

Anyway, since it takes me so long to write good lyrics, I did not spend as much time on them as I might have given my time issues and it does show.

Finally of course, we have Bethesda to thank for the game itself, a special tribute to the fact that in spite of the bugs that mark any Fallout, or Elder Scrolls game, the sheer sand box quality and open ended adventure environment keeps people wanting more.

Now on to the story itself.

As I mentioned prior, I did not want Valentine to start out the guy who had already gotten to 60th level and thus had the everyone at his beck and call. In my own view, that seems to be a bit more wish fulfillment on the part of the writers, not to mention a bit more easy to write about. When you are already a god, you can pretty much do what ever you want with no fear of consequence. For me, consequence is the primary means of drama. Valentine was starting out at level one and I played the whole game through to get impressions for my overall atmosphere. Hence the fact that he often finds himself in pretty hairy situations. Turning up the difficulty factor to Master helped as well. It's also one of the reasons why he starts out a mage and ends up learning sword and board and light armor. There were simply too many times a single whack by a two handed sword insta-killed him when I was playing the game with him and Sofia. So rather than doggedly fight it out as just a mage, I simply played the game, adjusted as things when on, and wrote about Valentine's shift in adventure focus. He never entirely gives up magic, but the fact that at the end of the story he's still gulping down magicka potions was simply because even though he was in the 40's in level, he still burned up the magicka when he engaged in double handed fireballs that fast.

And likewise, he's not perfect. He has one very well attested character flaw. He's an enabler. He plies Sofia with alcohol initially in order to keep her but later simply because that's how he shows his love for her. And Sofia does not need more alcohol. We see this problematic trait show itself again with Serana, where he starts to manipulate things into fights simply in order to give her the means by which she can drain a victim dry. While you might say "But it was only a skooma dealer or brigand" the fact remains that Valentine targets them for the express purpose of getting them to attack so that Serana can kill them by draining them of their blood. It's one of the reasons why Serana begins to think of Valentine and Sofia as friends. They are keeping her safe and fed. She doesn't need to enthrall anyone. When you start feeding the vampire, you are getting into dangerous territory. I'll talk more about vampires in a moment. It's something Valentine notes about himself, but he does nothing to fix it either. At least not in the story line.

You want heroes with character flaws, but don't sit there and agonize over which one to give them. Write the story line out and sooner or later, the genuine flaw will present itself. But if you don't like the character flaw which is presenting itself, suck it up and stick with it. Seriously, characters take on a life of their own and you need to listen to them. If you try to yank them into a mold of what you think they HAVE to be, you'll only sabotage your ability as a writer.

Now the next question which the reader might ask is this. Do I personally think Sofia is as pretty as Valentine does? While the face is cute, it's still a computer animation and lacks the expressive range that women's faces can take when you get to know them well enough that you stand a good chance of falling in love with them. So what I did was think of what emotions I have felt at times when I look at my wife or when she gets romantic with me and those experiences become the gist of my descriptions.

The secret was taking the physical features that John designed Sofia with and then turn them into means of conveying a man who was enraptured by Sofia's 'beauty'. Hence while I like red hair, rich and thick and flowing over the shoulders, Valentine liked black hair, deep and long and resting upon the shoulder. Sofia's physical features are described not as how I saw them, but how I would have seen them had I been in love with her.

This is one of the tricks young writers need to learn. You start with what you think is beautiful, focus on the moments when you are thinking such and such is pretty, and you come up with ways to describe that, then when you find another vista which you don't think is beautiful, but have a hero who does, you use that same means of description.

Those inspirational moments pop up at curious times. I can remember when I was writing Shining Bright and sitting at the desk in an empty store while the wife was busy dusting off the books we have for sale and suddenly I wanted to hug her. I described that a few sentences later in the story as Subliminal Hug Me Waves which John Shepherd experiences when he suddenly wants to hug his beloved, Tali.

And sometimes, I have deliberately played out some of these scenes with my wife, without my wife actually knowing I was doing it. Again, when I was writing Shining Bright, I described Tali as hugging Shepherd in a fashion which was similar to the way humans hug, but likewise a bit unique which conveyed the alien qualities of Tali. The chief descriptor is that her fingers would wrap around his back and lock on to his shoulder blades. I actually tried to hug my wife like that one early morning in order to see if it was possible. It is. Of course in Song, the chief gist of Sofia's first thing in the morning comments are directly inspired by some of the things my wife has said to me when it's six in the morning and we're both in bed trying to wake up, in particular, 'the itchy back'. But that can only go so far since my wife is not remotely as self-absorbed as Sofia. And if this were to get back to her, she would not, like Sofia, kick me in the head or backside, she would, like Serana, glare. But not all of the wake up in bed comments come from my wife. The "you have needs and mine don't count" line comes from a song sung on the old Muppet show from the 1970's.

Likewise the way Sofia snuggles up next to Valentine with her head upon his shoulder and her hand on his heart is not something my wife does but it is quite physically possible.

There was another quality of Sofia's personality which made Valentine's love for her easy for me to write about. She sticks with him. Now given she's a computer mod companion, of course she sticks with him. There is no programming that causes her to up and leave, though she does threaten it when you tell her you are leaving her for a bit. The trick I am employing here is using that computer programming to create a reason why Valentine wants this woman so much. But I don't just leave it at that. That attachment shows up constantly in the story line, but as the story progresses it spreads out and matures, which is what genuine love does over time. You start out with a few things you like, and then realize that those qualities are spring boards for other qualities which make the person better. I personally experienced this with one woman who never refused a date from me when I asked her out. That kept me coming back for more even though she was the most self-centered woman I had ever encountered (possibly worse the Sofia though that's saying something) and was more notoriously fickle and prone to mood swings than nearly any other woman I had run into (which was something Sofia is not). So the fact that Sofia can sit there every morning and verbally abuse Valentine is endured by him simply because when he wakes up, she's still very much there. I've been where Valentine was, I know where of he speaks.

Likewise it is this quality of sticking around (in spite of) that I am able to use to create what will prove to be one of Sofia's genuine qualities. What woman do you know of who would follow a guy from catastrophic scrape to catastrophic scrap and be back for more? The simple fact is that only a handful of women will do that, and it has a lot to do with a deep and abiding affection. Hence, Sofia's behavior of sticking with Valentine is described as a fierce loyalty with a high level of jealousy attached. It's perfectly consistent with her character but likewise enables us to accept the fact that Valentine genuinely loves this women in spite of her persistent irresponsible and hurtful behaviors.

And this got very important once Serana was introduced into the picture. If you noticed that the 'Vol II' of the story line was longer and more elaborate it had a lot to do with the fact that when you introduce more deep personalities to the mix, you get more in depth situations which can be written about. That and the fact that the more I get into a story line, the more ideas present themselves. But back to Serana. You have another potential love interest introduced by Bethesda, but one that is a bit more subtle. One who 'won't' marry you due to a fear of temples, but who will stick with you 'forever' if you let them. A woman who was, at the bottom, a bit of a verbal tease who made you work for the rewards, which she always delivered at the end in a quiet under the table sort of way.

So we have a possible rivalry between the two women which I had to resolve in a realistic fashion. After all, as Valentine himself notes in the storyline, Serana's threat is present, but not directly. She might, at some point kill him in her blood lust, and indeed that nearly does happen right after the fight with Alduin, but likewise, she is a more gentle and caring soul who knows one thing which Sofia is entirely oblivious to, that being discretion. And like Valentine, she's got a good grasp of human nature and knows how to play it to success. Put Valentine and Serana together on their own and you can almost see them conning Ulfric out of his Stormcloaks and selling Summerset back to the Thalmor for several million septims. And grinning like fiends while doing it too. One of my favorite themes was Serana promptly picking up Valentine's hints and running with them such as the "mead is icky" line sailing to Castle Volkihar, the delicate coughs when the priestess thought she was dying, and the shyly looking over Valentine's shoulder when he's pretending to be a naive buyer of what he does not suspect is skooma. I remember in particular Honor Bright who I know personally reading the part where Serana plays the bored rich girl looking for a bit of a irresponsible sexual romp with a perfectly rude but handsome stranger and initiates the deceit by horning in on the conversation and rather 'rudely shoves' Sofia out of the way. "I like this girl," was Honor Bright's assessment. She has her own fanfic which she ought to finish and perhaps if some of you read it she might be propelled to.

And this is likewise perfect with the lore, for we are told repeatedly that vampires are deceitful. And that's kind of funny when you think of it. For if you play the game you rapidly realize that, like the Black Hand assassins, you can see the vampires coming a mile away. How something that patently obvious can be successfully deceitful remains one of those mysteries until you remember that a computer game can't afford to make something you're going to have to whack so good at deceit that you don't see it coming until it gets the first strike in. And at higher levels of difficulty, that first blow can, and often is, fatal necessitating a reload of the game.

I allude to this curious quality when Valentine observes that Sybille is a vampire and Sofia shows no comprehension of how he knew that since she does not, like he does, spy her red eyes. Of course that led me to a problem of consistency when we get to Serana. Aurelian likewise notes her red eyes and on occasion Serana's facial features shows she's aware that people can see her fangs if she smiles too much. It's a contradiction which I never really resolved outside of presuming that Serana was proud of the fact that she was a vampire and seemed to possess willingness to put the attributes on display for those whom she liked or trusted such as when she just up and picks up the coffin down in the catacombs of Potema or smiles at Valentine in a manner which puts the fangs right up front. Bethesda seemed to have that issue themselves. I will confess that when I first saw the unmodded Serana fall out of that stone box back the first time I played Dawnguard, I had no clue she was a vampire, and indeed there never are any of the attributes you can pin down on Serana that she is a vampire outside of her magical style. She never looks like one. It's one of the reasons why she's been the target of so many mods on the Nexus which give her fangs and dimly glowing red or pink eyes, not to mention the prodigious feminine attributes which young male modders seem to be determined to apply.

So I admit to a mea culpa there. I never really worked out the situation to a level of consistency which my logical mind demands in the end. But as a writer, I can't achieve perfection in under a year's time with any story and I'm writing these things for fun, and not profit, and so I get to make the occasional blunder without fear of penalty. As long as I'm honest that it's a screwup, I'm okay.

But back to the potential rivalry between Sofia and Serana for Valentine's affections. I had a problem in that I wanted Valentine to be loyal to Sofia, in spite of the fact that at times it seemed that she really didn't deserve such treatment. And likewise deal with the fact that the character of Serana in the game is written to show attraction to the hero of the story. Hence there are brief moments in which Valentine displays physical affection to Serana and likewise she does make the offer on one occasion that they run away together as a happy young vampire couple. The overall solution came to me as I thought about Valentine's family. There is a lot to be said about a solid functional family base which does much to make people more reliable and trusting, even when they are young and naive and idealistic and utterly oblivious to how selfish they are capable of being. Hence Valentine is able to deflect the temptations by a combination of precise comments and more than a little self-reflection. But that's how any one avoids cheating on one's spouse.

You see, Valentine isn't going through anything any guy with a modicum of adulthood doesn't go through. There is this curious delusion that you find the one true love and then all others utterly fail to attract. The dirty little secret guys is this, you will find yourself attracted to women all your life. Yes, even when you get old and wrinkled and grey and have your teeth in a jar at night. There will be little old wrinkled women who will wink at you in such a fashion that you'll feel young again. They will giggle in a fashion that makes them so desirable. Even when you need a good slug of testosterone in the arm delivered by a three inch long needle in order to just think about making love to someone, let alone do it. That takes two slugs of testosterone delivered by a pair of six inch long needles. The trick is remembering why you love the first woman and accept the fact that even though you don't know what those faults of the second woman are, you will find out about them once you've broken up your first family, invariably irreparably, and latched on to the second. And sure enough, a few years later, along comes girl number three who's making you feel the love again . . . Not that your first wife didn't do that to once upon a time and could have kept doing if you had given her the chance. You can literally do this all your life if you're stupid enough. And I know more than a few men who have in fact done that, and yes, they are stupid. But they go their merry way having no idea that more than a few of my dysfunctional characters in stories I have written are based upon their lives.

Beware your behavior, you may be the object lesson an author is looking for.

For me the solution was Valentine's brother. It was readily presented simply because I knew before I ever had Valentine spy a hungover and asleep and nearly naked Sofia on a hay bale that in order for this relationship to end happily, Valentine needed to come from a fully functional family, nearly heroic in it's functionality in fact, to keep him loyal to Sofia when her behavior would send nearly all lesser men into despair and surrender to the first sweet face that came along afterwards. So you have a good father raising two sons who understand enough of genuine love that they are able to present that stability which Serana promptly is drawn to like a moth to a flame. And this is why she observes while Sofia is in prison that it all boils down to Valentine's father.

And so we get to the 'daddy issues' of Serana. Now the thing that has to be understood is that Serana is not having the normal daddy issues daughters have with their fathers. Mark Twain summed up the typical daddy issues of all adolescents quite nicely in his observation that goes as follows . . . "When I was 18, I thought my father was insane. When I became 21, I was amazed at how much he had come around."

All young adolescents have 'parent issues' since they have received the body of an adult but none of the genuine adult experiences. And accordingly they don't see the reasons behind the behavior of their parents. I remember a particularly poignant moment in my relationship with my father. It was exactly 18 hours after the birth of my first child, my daughter, who had a nasal blockage which could literally cause her to suffocate and they had to rushed her to the hospital, two hours drive away. An operation was looking immanent and my mother in particular was in tears with worry. This was her first grandchild you see. My wife of course was still recovering from the labor and could not hold her own baby and so I was driving each night to be with my daughter for a little while. My dad drove with me a few of those times. The first time we were driving back, I turned to him and said, "Now I know what you meant when you said, 'Someday when you have children on your own.'" You really don't know until you've had them.

Serana has an entirely different issue. The Deviant Art artist Donoffrio has a splendid collection of art work on the entire family which portrays them 'before'. He had a profound impact on how I portrayed the entire Volkihar family conflict; that of a once loving and close family succumbing to the lure of power which destroys them over time. Hence Serana genuinely loves her father but can not come to grips with the fact that her father has turned into a monster. Nor does she fully understand that the vampirism they have embraced has a lot to do with it. She cries to her mother at one point in the game's dialogue. "Yes he is a fanatic. He changed. But he's still my father! Why can't you understand how that makes me feel?" And likewise she says to the hero, "I loved my father." This was a girl who had a close relationship with her father and lost that.

My mother says I went through something similar when I was four and my grandfather, who had spent every evening with me for what seemed like, forever, suddenly stopped coming to our house because of what my dad had to say about his affair with his secretary. My dad took a stand for the right and our entire family took the boot to the head as a consequence. But I've never stopped being proud of my dad for that moment, and neither has my mother. And if you will recall, a similar stand is made by Valentine's father in the Imperial City which Valentine remembers after the first confrontation with Alduin. It took me decades before I came to the realization that I hated my grandfather for doing that to us. Hated him so much in fact, that when he was dying I made it a point to not go to the hospital to so much as see him. He never met my wife or daughter. I refused to bring them to him. It's not the way I should have behaved, he was at the end, trying to make it up to everyone. But I didn't care at the time.

Never forget the wrong things you've done in your life. You can use it as an object lesson for your characters.

Serana is going through much of the same thing. She does not understand how her father who's deep love for her was felt all those years could suddenly transform into a cunning murderous lust. This is not the daddy issue of a daughter who lacks the long term functional relational experience of a loving husband to enlighten her on the behavior of her parents. This is the daddy issue of a daughter who has literally been betrayed by one she loved most deeply. And of course this is why Valentine is able to break that grip on him at the very end when he causes Harkon to drop his defenses for just one instant by suggesting that maybe the bow will be surrendered to him. But I will get on to the solution in a bit. First it's time to address the issue of the vampire.

The vampire is one of those enduring folk creatures that comes in a trillion flavors and is found all over the world. I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason why it is so universal is that every so often, a form of cannibalism rears it's ugly head in the world where a cult of blood drinkers emerges. There was one such cult in Hiroshima back in the late 1800's and another cult which sprung up in Chicago back about thirty years ago. There are certain types of vampires which are so frightening that even today, the cultures who have the tales about them will not publicly speak their names to strangers. You see, one of the most ancient bits of medical knowledge we have is how essential blood is to the life of our body. Accordingly there have been movements where the belief was that if you drank the blood, you would gain the life of the being who's blood you drank. The American Indians would ritually drink the blood of their first (animal) kill and that custom has passed on to the hunters of the mountain states who hunt the deer there. I don't know what the hunters do in our part of the country since I never hunted deer.

But the fanged stalker of the night which we know of comes through the events known as the black plague. In just three years, one third of Europe's population died and the nightmares often had the dead coming back to drain the life of those who were still struggling with the infection within them. The vampire thus became the symbol of the plague and if you can find either version of the German film Nosferatu, you will see that original folk creature as he was traditionally seen. The vampire reached such a state of 'popularity' in folk lore that by the late 18th century, the 'enlightenment' philosophes began to speculate if such a creature could not actually exist, a speculation which tells us more of the so called enlightenment than it does of the creature itself.

But sometime in the middle 19th century, the vampire gained a sensual component. I don't know if it was Bram Stoker who introduced that idea or if he was going on the popular presumptions of his peers, but it is his popularization of the creature in the classic Dracula which made Serana possible.

Bethesda has, as has been noted in other instances of their games, seemed to have suffered a persistent inability to make up their minds as to what sort of creature their vampire is. Like the Battle of Red Mountain, variations are a plethora. But suffice to say, the idea that a daedra made them works very nicely and so I did not get to deep into the conflicting lore of the vampire in the Elder Scrolls games. What I noted was that I saw a symptom which I find annoying, and not a little disturbing which Bethesda reflects, but does not originate.

The vampire has suffered the most dire fate known to creatures of folk lore. He has become fashionable.

I remember when the American Mobster became fashionable back a few decades ago. This turned that character into a very popular figure forcing more than a few editorials to be published pointing out that mobsters killed people, and publicly and violently as par for the course. The movement faded after a few years but not before Hollywood produced a few films which glamorized the entire murderous lifestyle.

The vampire is suffering the same sort of public delusion. So I'm going on record here.

We're talking about a creature who kills you by drinking your blood. Okay? And they do this because they have to. If you can sleep with a black widow spider you can sleep with a vampire. Otherwise, stay away.

But you don't have to take my word for it, Fanfic has a Hero/Serana love story where this vampire couple goes off to live happily ever after nibbling on nameless faceless people (better to disguise the fact that they are innocent victims). And I don't need to mention that we have several other 'nice' vampires in popular media and literature and likewise all over . The idea that something which will eventually eat you alive can be nice is absurd at it's root. But when you don't hold human life as having much value, the vampire becomes 'cool'. After all, when you're a vampire, you don't have to worry about dying. And it's not you that's having your neck ripped open and it's not your life being sucked out of you.

For this reason I knew I was going to have a serious challenge with Serana. On one hand, she is essential to the lore of the storyline and has to be portrayed in some fashion where she is at least sympathetic. But likewise, the only real happy ending for her is her cure.

For this reason, Valentine and Sofia don't pull any punches when they are by themselves. Likewise, the Dawnguard are used to give some very valid points. Serana is literally at the bottom a killer. The full live feeding on the road with Dexion was written precisely because I wanted the reader to at some level witness a full live feeding of a victim by her. While it was mitigated by the fact that the victim was a brigand who would have killed them, the fact remains that I sought to make that whole scene just a little frightening, including the cheerful disposition of Serana afterwards. She feels full and content for the first time in the story.

So throughout the story, we have Valentine struggling with the knowledge of who Serana is, while at the same time having to admit to himself that she can be a sweet and quite lovable at times. Likewise, Serana herself knows at the bottom of it all that she's 'unnatural'. She struggles with this constantly which is why she tries to have some sort of standards on who she feeds from. Likewise she gets upset when that one necromancer she's draining starts to cry during the process. Finally of course, she stumbles into the Dragonrend shout and, like the dragons, experiences mortality again which means for a brief moment she's clean, and then she returns to a vampiric state, and like Lamae before her, goes into a blood lust rage which would have gotten her killed if Paarthurnax had not intervened to save her.

At the same time I had to keep Valentine and Sofia human about it. Hence they grow to accept her condition and deal with it, loving her, or at least her good qualities. For in order for Serana to even listen to the prospect of being cured, she has to hear it from people who she knows care about her. This is a facet of her personality which Bethesda put into the game, which is why you have to demonstrate a concern and love for her first before you can, after the end of the storyline (And even then you can screw it up and lose that chance) get her cured. So accordingly, I had to sketch a Serana who was a loving and lovable companion who had a very solid creepy quality to her. Every so often, she needs to kind of freak you out.

The solution to the Dawnguard story line seemed to me to be patently obvious from the get go. Unlike my solution to the Mass Effect 3 ending, which required several hours of pacing and thinking through, Dawnguard simply stepped forward and said, "Here I am, send me."

This is the one criticism I have of Bethesda. Seriously now, are they that ignorant of standard biology laws? This is one of the curious blindness of today's society actually. We have become so urbanized and have so much of our day to day experience in a completely controlled environment that most people simply have no mental grasp of how catastrophically important certain things are to our basic survival.

This is why, in my mind, that Dawnguard is just as epic as Alduin's quest line. In one case, everyone is going to die, in another case, everyone is going to cease to exist after dying. Yet at no point in the story line does Bethesda seem to be aware that the shut down of the sun's light would lead to the extinction of all life on Nirn. Which is of course, one of the reasons why I'm so cagey about what Valentine is going to do when he confronts Harkon. You keep hearing this idea that he's going to try to re-unite that family and you have to ask how? Ultimate power, hug my daughter, ultimate power, get my wife back . . . Really folks, it's not that hard to imagine an evil person picking ultimate power. Seriously it's not even that hard imagining a large swath of humanity picking ultimate power. I like to have my heroes be a bit more subtle in their solutions. Harkon's turning back is quite comprehensible since he discovers that he's not going to get what he wants, he's lost what he did care about before, and he is once again reminded that the daedra are not a little treacherous. Knowing what he knows of Molog Bal, it comes as no surprise to him when Valentine points out that treachery. Valentine presents to him the very real future of him being the ultimate loser who destroys the world because he was deceived into thinking he was going to be the ultimate winner. But since the game quest line has to end with an ultimate Boss Monster, I have Molog Bal possess Harkon and so the fight continues with the perfectly rational addition of the Dawnguard at the end. And since I've already had the fight with Alduin, Molog Bal's arrival (not unlike Mehrunes Dagon in Oblivion) makes the next fight just as epic as so the final confrontation does not seem to be as much of a let down or second fiddle.

Serana's kneeling at the ashes of Harkon is one of the most evocative of Donoffrio's art on the subject IMHO. So that I unabashedly stole from him. Yes, yes, I stole it from him and I'm proud of it too. It's a great image because it captures the real fact that Serana at the bottom still loved her father. Family is like that you see. Because, for that one brief instant, you see Harkon coming back to sanity, and the image gains a bit more poignancy.

Naturally, since it lent itself to the moment, I took the liberty to plagiarize a line from The Princess Bride. But I was not the first fanfic author to do that. A Mass Effect Fanfic initially did it and I've been stealing that idea from him ever since. When I can come up with a reason to do so that is.

So how do I get Serana cured at the end? Especially after we've heard her point out time and time again that she's going to be young, beautiful, and healthy forever as a vampire.

In the end, it was the experience of Sovngarde, that divine perfection of heavenly bliss which forces her to realize what it is that she thought was the only thing that made her condition tolerable is just a shabby glamour. She gets to live forever in a world which is a pale imitation of what Valentine and Sofia will get to experience when they die. Furthermore, Valentine and Sofia have nothing to fear once they reach Sovngarde. She on the other hand can never escape the doom of Coldharbor and the daedra who, in the end, is the reason why her father is dead.

This is in part, the reason why she's afraid before hand. While there is that classic vampiric fear of the divine, for Serana, there is that fear that if she does taste of Sovngarde, she might not want it to end.

Hence once the matter is over with, she slips away to be cured without telling Valentine and Sofia, but not before, as we later hear from Valerica, hashing it out with her mother first who apparently played a poor devil's advocate.

And now we'll talk about Sovngarde because there is a very strong point I wish to make to new writers, one which will hopefully liberate them from the fear that authors struggle with, that of writing what you want to write in the desperate hopes that you won't offend someone.

I have another fanfic I've alluded to called Shining Bright. Go to Chapter 8 and read the latter section, the part where Shepherd dies and finds himself in the afterlife. Then go back and read Chapter 29 of this fan fic. You will note that I talk about a lot of the same themes. The difference is that I've changed the colors. One afterlife is colored in a Judeo-Christian theme and the other is Teutonic. But in both you find converse with the Gods and their servants, you are enlightened, you find family, you find love and companionship, you find feats of heroism, and most importantly, you find a rich perfection of such magnitude that the world seems dull and lifeless afterwards. So why, then, when you read the reviews, do you have people having conniptions about Shining Bright's Chapter 8 and not A Song For Skyrim's Chapter 29?

It's really quite simple. Everyone knows Sovngarde is made up. But there just might be the possibility that the Judeo-Christian heaven is true. At least that's what a third of the world's population is believing as I type this. And if you desperately don't want it to be, you'll savagely attack the author for having the audacity of writing about it. Really now, how is one hero going to heaven any different from another hero going to heaven? How is one hero deciding to go back to mortal life in order to save the universe any different from another hero fighting a divine creature in order to save the universe before going back to mortal life? What's the difference between talking to Allah, Buddha, or Jesus Christ, as opposed to Ishtar, Jove, or Thor? Just one. The first three deities or their avatars might be real beings, the last three we are certain are myth.

So remember, this isn't about you, it's about them. They are the one's with the problem which they are taking out on you because you've 'ruined their day' by 'destroying' their love of the particular game or TV show or comic book they love. And why do you need to change when you've done nothing wrong?

Accordingly, if you happen to believe in Judaism, then write about it and screw the anti-semites who go into conniptions about it. There was a very successful series of detective novels written by Henry Kemelman back in the 1960's and 70's of a Conservative Jewish Rabbi who solved murder mysteries. They all had titles like Saturday, The Rabbi Went Hungary or Tuesday, the Rabbi Saw Red. Good stories which inspired a movie and two television series. If you happen to believe Mohammed was a genuine prophet of God, write about it and to Oblivion to the fanatics who threaten you with death. You can write with a nome de plume remember? Being threatened with death is nothing new for good authors. It hasn't happened to me yet, but I'm working on it. (Said with tongue firmly in cheek) And if you happen to be a Christian, don't be afraid to talk about it. Let the Atheists howl like one did in my store last week. Be the Buddhist or Bahai or Jansenist or Hindu. And be it like you really believe it's true. Religion gives you colors to paint with in stories. Atheism can work, but by itself it frequently makes a dull tableaux. But you don't have to take my word for it, just go to any site which has preserved the government sponsored art from the Soviet Union or Chairman Mao's China or Pol Pot's Cambodia or Kim Il Sung's North Korea, then look at the Orthodox Icons from Russia and the Buddhist Temples from Tibet. There are always exceptions like Mark Twain and Albrecht Camus but over all? It's no contest folks. And if you say that's just because it's only government sponsored art, well how do you deal with the art of 17th and 18th centuries then? Not a few of the classics from that era are government sponsored.

Finally, these are the mods I used to create the game which was the background for the Valentine Sofia story. All of these can be found on The Nexus, a sight on the web for mods for dozens of games but first and chiefly those of Bethesda. First of course, Sofia - The Funny Fully Voiced Follower. Then, Become A Bard. This is where you are able to perform music which gets you free rooms at the inn and eventually the ability to perform for the Jarls and finally do a little intrigue work for Viarmo in the Bardic College. It makes the Bardic College Quest lines come more alive and full. Not only that, but Sofia will join in when you give her the instruments and you play duets. Both these mods were in action when I took the screen shot which illustrates this story. Sadly there is no Gypsy Wagon I can recommend. That is a favorite theme of mine in my fantasy stories and is a very useful vehicle (pun intended) for getting the characters from spot to spot while maintaining a sense of hygiene and decorum. The love making scene while the wagon is going down the road is a straight rip off from an Aerosmith Music Video from about twenty or so years ago that was on MTV. It's on a motor cycle and they too had a don't try this at home message on the screen. Of course wagons being driven by horses at a walk are not the high speed mobile death machines a motorcycle is capable of being hence the humor Valentine is able to employ when he says, 'but we were professionals'. One other mod which is not essential but I loved it for the ambience which it created as I played the game and noted inspiration for ideas. It's Celtic Music In Skyrim. The musician is Adrian Von Ziegler who is simply a master of tonal quality. He's Swiss. He to has a web sight and you can buy his music there.

Can you expect any more from me? I have no idea. I write fanfic for fun and so it will take something to inspire me and that could be anything, even The Sims 4. _(sfx: Woman's Scream and Horror Soundtrack)_. Until then all I can say is . . .

This from Jack.


	32. Chapter 32 - Honeymoon on the Honeywine

_You really can't be too careful what you read at times. It was right after Easter Weekend which is a heady time for me and my family. And I was reading the Nexus posts on the Sofia mod and Jarvis made reference to a silly quest for the mod. Whether it was a passing fancy of his or will be yet another addition to the mod, an over active imagination, coupled with a adrenaline charged evening, led me to start posting ideas for such a modded quest and the next thing I knew, I had the tale in my head and like Fairy music, you can't hold it in, it's got to come out. Needless to say, while this tale is set in Skyrim, and in so far as Skyrim lore is concerned, it tries to be consistent with that, it is not a Bethesda quest. It is merely a single line mentioned by a modder which has been taken and transformed into a large tale of mostly silliness by an irresponsible author. There is one other inspiration for it, specifically a song written during the American Tin Pan Alley era of music, a song known as The Big Rock Candy Mountain. There are two versions of the song, the original and a sanitized version which Burl Ives sang back in the mid 20th century. As for the tale? I hope you enjoy it.  
_

* * *

**Honeymoon On the Honeywine**

"Daddy?" began Martin, "Can you tell me a story?"

He was under the loving embrace of his Auntie Nibbles, that is Serana, who has visiting for the month of Last Seed. Aurelian and their children were unable to come until later in the month given the issues regarding the political situation in Black Marsh.

"Oh I don't know," I said. "What sort of story do you want to hear Marty?"

"No Dragons!" insisted Freya who was under Auntie Nibbles other arm. "Dragons are scary!"

"Dragons are not scary," groaned Baldor, his worldly confidence and wisdom fully manifest in a manner only a thirteen year old can achieve. He was leaning against the wall, not unlike his mother at times when she was being skeptical. There was so much of her personality in him that there were times I really wanted to belt him one. "Like that Durnehviir who does nothing but hover over the town and growl before he flies off, probably scared of the guards. When has he ever done anything? The guards sure don't act scared of him."

"Baldor?" began Serana somewhat annoyed. "Hasn't your father and mother told you about how we had to fight him in the Soul Cairn and how he ripped off the portcullis at my father's castle?"

Baldor snorted. "Yeah yeah, but he couldn't have been that tough if you beat him. And if your father was that scary, why does my brother have his name?"

He was of course referring to Harkon who was born after Elisif, both of whom were upstairs playing in their bedroom.

Serana looked at me utterly baffled but also a little hurt. We had named him Harkon because it was our way of promising to Serana that we would go to Coldharbor and bring her father back to Sovngarde when we got up there.

"Don't look at me," I insisted. "I've told him. He just thinks because Durnehviir hasn't attacked anyone no dragon attacks anyone. It doesn't help when he has a teacher at the Jarl's school who denies that Alduin ever existed."

"What and the Jarl does nothing?"

"Jarl Elisif is at her wits end with the guy," I replied with a sigh. "Even Falk is uncertain what to do. The guy's credentials are so solid and he has so much support from the Academic Board she can't just dismiss him. He will have to claim something so utterly outrageous that the Academy has no choice but to expel him."

"And she worked so hard getting that Academy going and this is how they reward her," sighed Serana.

"Welcome to Academic politics," I groaned. "It's almost as bad in the Bardic College, especially since Inge has gotten senile."

"Has Sybille . . ." began Serana.

"I'd love her to do that, but we both know it's a bad idea," I replied. It wasn't really that bad an idea given that the teacher was poisoning young minds, but having the court mage drain him of his blood in the middle of the night is fraught with the potential for misunderstanding. A pair of fang holes in the neck are a pretty good indicator that there's a vampire around.

"Yes you're probably right," replied Serana.

"Story Daddy!" insisted Martin. Being he was only four, he had little patience for adult conversation.

"Finally!" cried Sofia from the kitchen. "Damned bung wouldn't come out of the cask!" She twisted the handle and the ale began to flow out of the barrel she had been spending the last five minutes trying to pound the spigot into.

"I said I would do it dear," I suggested.

"You would take too long," she replied. "Have you stepped into the kitchen to take over? No!"

"I kept asking if you wanted help and you kept saying you were fine!" I replied with a sort of world weary grin while I looked at Serana. She gave me no sympathy what so ever. What is it with women? Sofia brought in a silver tray with six mugs filled with cold foaming ale.

"Sofi there are only three of us," observed Serana.

"Are you suggesting I don't know how to count?" replied Sofia.

"Seriously Serana," I said with a grin. "She poured one for you, and one for her, and one for me, and one for her, and one for her, and then one for her."

"Ha ha," deadpanned Sofia. "You are so funny. I thought I would pour seconds for everyone." She picked up one of the mugs and took a good solid quaff. Serana and I each grabbed our own but we limited ourselves to a few sips. By the time Sofia put her mug down one the end table by the chair she was in, it was at least a third empty.

"Story!" insisted Martin.

"Okay," I said. "No dragons. What if I tell you the story of the River of Happy Juice?"

"The River of Happy Juice?" asked Serana. She looked at Sofia who looked puzzled back.

"I've never heard that story before," proclaimed Freya. "I don't ever remember daddy telling it and I'm over six years old!"

Baldor groaned. "I'm going to the market place and see if any of my friends are hanging out there."

"Don't stay out too late, Baldor," warned Sofia.

"I can take care of myself," he insisted and he turned and walked out of the room towards the main door.

"He's so turning into me," sighed Sofia. "I just can't bring myself to give him the beating he so desperately deserves."

"You know, Sybille and I once upon a time scared a collection of kids his age late one evening," mused Serana, as if she was offering to do it again.

"You just don't have the eyes for that any more," I suggested.

"True," she sighed.

"But Auntie's eyes are beeuuuutiful!" insisted Martin. "I like blue."

"You are so sweet," she beamed and she leaned over and gave Martin's neck a nibble. He giggled and squirmed.

"Now STORY!" he proclaimed.

"Okay," I said. "Once upon a time, one early summer, when your big brother Baldor was just a twinkle in your mommy's eye."

"Aiming a little high are we?" suggested Sofia with a cheeky grin.

"Said so innocently," mused Serana.

"We were at the Winking Skeever for dinner and your mommy was very hungry because Baldor was a very busy baby that night, and she was also very thirsty and she said . . .

* * *

"Have you heard of the fountain of booze?" queried Sofia. She finished her mug of mead and signaled the for another bottle from the barkeep. Her meat pie was mostly eaten, which came as no surprise as she was at the end of her third month. Her waist was a bit thicker than I had recalled from the prior fall when she had been carrying Psuki, but then again, Psuki had only been barely three months old when we had lost her in the Soul Cairn. This new baby was rapidly approaching the fourth month.

"The what?" I said. I put down my spoon and looked at her over the steaming bowl of the Winking Skeever's most delicious potato soup.

"The fountain of booze," sighed Sofia. "If I found it I would never be sober again."

"You are pregnant, girl," I observed. "And in a handful of months you will be a new mother and you won't have time to get drunk."

"Then I'd better find it now," concluded Sofia.

"In that case," I suggested with a bit of a sigh. "Why don't we just make one?"

"You can't make The Fountain of Booze!" insisted Sofia.

"What do you mean, they are in almost all of the parties in the Imperial City."

"You don't know what I'm talking about!" insisted Sofia.

"I most certainly do," I retorted. "They are three bowls put on top of each other and connected by a set of pipes with a magically enchanted screw pump in the central shaft. When the three bowls are filled with wine and the screw is invoked, the wine is sucked out of the bottom bowl and pours into the top bowl where it flows into the second and third bowls by means of pitcher lips around them. People just put their wine glass over one of the flows and refill. The bowl aerates the wine all night. Voila, the fountain of booze."

She gave me one of those looks women give you when they are convinced you have no clue. And given that I was smart enough to pick up on this rather unanticipated expression of Sofia's, I figured if I didn't want to mar what had been up to this point a rather nice dinner out for the two of us with yet another of our routine fights, I had best humor her. "Okay," I said. "Just what is this fountain of booze you are talking about?"

"It is a fountain which is supposed to be in one of the hidden glades of Skyrim where nothing but booze flows from it," she said with a wistful sigh. It was the sort of tone in her voice I would have greatly preferred when she referred to me. At least she was not making that sort of gentle whispered tone for some other guy. So as usual, I was taking what I could get.

"Oh," I said. "So you're talking about just a fairy tale, adult fairy tale, but a tale all the same. Yeah, the Bards tell of it as well in the bars when the sailors come in from the ships. It's a favorite among them."

"It is NOT a fairy tale!" snapped Sofia rapidly slamming the table with the flat of her palms for emphases. Her mug shivered a bit and nearly fell off the table if she had not, with a speed that comes from long training, snatched it by the handle. Since she was now holding it, she promptly quaffed half the contents and refilled it with what was left of the bottle the barman had just gotten her. She slammed the mug down several good inches from the edge which, being it was pewter, was able to withstand the stress and remain intact.

"It most certainly is," I said. "The brewery bees flit among the honey flowers bringing the barley and fruit pollen to the great brewing hive where the wine, ale, and mead drip from the base and fill the great river of honeyed wine that flows out of the vale next to the mug reeds which enable you to drink of it's contents all the day long. And on either side of the river grow the sweet roll trees and the honey nut bushes. And no matter how much you drink, you never get a hangover. Not unlike Sanguine's brew we once quaffed and under whose influence we ran off to get married and live happily ever after."

You might of course express skepticism on the 'happily' adverb employment, but you don't suggest to your wife that you are not happy with her if you want to sleep in your own bed tonight. In the meantime, Sofia was all relaxed and leaning back in her chair with a goofy grin on her face and eyes half closed as she quietly swayed back and forth imagining such a vale in her head. As we were in a public pub, not a few people noticed this including an older more matronly woman who had just been seated with her friends. Upon noticing Sofia's gentle swaying and heavy lidded happy expression she signaled the barman and gestured to Sofia.

"I want what she's having," she said to him.

"It's not a fairy tale!" insisted Sofia with a determined scowl once she had come back to Tamriel.

"It certainly is," I insisted. Yeah I said I didn't want a fight but there are things a man has to do and when they need being done, he makes sacrifices.

"I have been to Sovngarde," she proclaimed dogmatically. "I have experienced perfection. I have fought and beaten Alduin and dozens of other dragons. I've kicked Molag Bal's bottom back to Oblivion. And I've tasted Sanguine's Brew, and with it made the Dragonborn, My Valentine, my own! If I say it exists, it does!"

Yes this is the woman who was screaming "This isn't happening, it's lies, all lies!" when she found out she was now Mrs. Sofia Florian back in Markarth's Temple of Dibella Nuptial Chamber.

"No it doesn't!"

"Does to!"

"You want to make a wager on this?" I said. Unfortunately, my sober reflective me was not there to smack me up'side the head.

"You think you can take me on?" replied Sofia. "I never lose a bet!"

"When it involves drinking men under the table," I replied. "I won't dispute it, but this is about whether a myth and fairy tale is or is not a myth or fairy tale. You're in my territory now girl, and I'll whoop you good."

"We'll see," she replied. "So what will you give me when I win?"

"IF you win," I answered. "I will make you a golden chain necklace with a pile of the Blackreach and Vale gemstones hanging off of it, that we've not sold yet. And I'll enchant it so you always glow with a fresh scrubbed aura bringing your beauty out even more than it already shines."

"What? No hundred keg vat of Black Briar Reserve? What if I want Black Briar?"

"Tad redundant dear," I replied. "You will have drunk yourself daft at the fountain remember? I'll have to carry you back."

She fidgeted for a moment. The idea of a necklace which was enchanted in such a fashion that would make her even more attractive than she already was had a very pronounced pull on her. Not that a 100 keg vat of Black Briar would clearly win if she had the choice between the two, but that choice was being denied.

"Oh alright," she said. "But you have to let me approve the design before you start pulling the wire out for the chain."

"Fair enough," I replied. "Now what will you give me when I win?"

"You won't win, you'll lose. So there's no need for me to promise you anything."

"If you want your loving husband's cooperation in this endeavor you most certainly will offer something. You're not going to be able to pull this one off on your own, Sofi dear. You're still throwing up in the mornings on a regular basis."

I had her there and she knew it. She still remembered the drain on her fatigue that Psuki had given her and now she had an even bigger baby inside her.

"You mean you'll really help me find it?" she said skeptically.

"It may be the last time we ever get to adventure," I replied. "I miss the wagon, as do you. And Serana is still on her honeymoon with Aurelian. And they're so happy walking and making love on the beaches of Anvil I doubt we'll be seeing them anytime in the near future. And besides, we never really had our own honeymoon."

"Yeah," exclaimed Sofia with a scowl. "Why did you never give me a honeymoon?"

I gave her a long slow stare. The sort which is supposed to suggest that she knew damn well why we had no honeymoon. But she simply stared back, usually over her raised mug. After a few more seconds of this, I realized I was going to have to vocally remind her.

"Well let's start with the fact that you spend the first two weeks denying that we'd gotten married and routinely refuse to let me put a finger on you let alone make love to you," I observed.

"So?"

"And then you proceed to spend a few more weeks insisting that I was only going to leave you anyway so you were just pretending for a bit."

"So?"

"And then we spend the next few months trying to save Nirn from Alduin and Harkon."

"So?"

"And now that we've only had a few months since then to recoup and recover and remember that we didn't have one until just this very moment?"

"You think that's an excuse?"

"I certainly do!"

"Well think again."

"I am," I said. "And I'm going to give you a honeymoon looking for the Honey-river, and even though we won't find it, I'm going to make sure you have the best honeymoon a girl could want okay?" I folded my arms and nodded my head with a sort of 'so there' attitude.

It took her a second to register this. The expression on her face was more than amusing. Guys, there is nothing more rewarding than throwing a nice thing at your wife simply because you love her when she's thinking she's going to get an argument from you. The struggle that goes on in her head making the switch is worth the price of admission to any grand opera in the Imperial City. Yes, even the one's by Alcadius.

"So you're admitting you're going to lose?" she asked, once she had sorted it out.

You know, it's moments like this when I wonder how it is I remained utterly and madly in love with this woman.

"You haven't yet told me what you will give me if I win," I suggested.

"I told you . . ."

"Not going to happen girl until you express a willingness to surrender something."

"Not fair!" she whined. "I can't promise to sleep with you like I did all the other guys because you already get to do that . . . And if you think I'm going to give it up between now and when I win . . . What's the fun of having a honeymoon if I can't molest my Valentine?"

"You could offer to give up drinking for a week."

"What?" she practically shrieked. "I'd die first!"

"That's right," I sighed. "Too much blood would get into your alcohol stream."

"Guffaw guffaw, you are so funny," she deadpanned. "Please wait while I get back off the floor after rolling around on it."

"We're not moving from this table until you make a promise that you will keep if I win," I said, giving her the 'and I will pin you down under it if necessary to keep you here' look that she knew so well. It's one of those interesting little facets of our relationship. She can, with a good solid kick to my head, knock me flat and if necessary, unconscious. And she's done so more than once. But once I give her a certain look, and threaten to pin her down, for some reason or another, she knows she's going to end up pinned down. I can't explain why this works, since she could easily kick me first, but ever since that first time at the Dragon's mound in Kynesgrove, she has always ended up pinned down under me. I'd like to think it is due to the fact that I pinned her down to make her admit that I loved her, and when she recalls that, she gets all girly and weak. Not that she would admit to it, to the point of violence if necessary. Even at this juncture, in spite of the fact that she loved me with a fierceness which left you speechless, not to mention breathless, she still tried to behave as if I simply was a friend with benefits.

In the meantime Sofia was busy fidgeting trying to figure out what to offer me should she somehow manage to lose. This went on for a bit because the idea of losing was so alien to her she was at a loss as to what she would do. She kept taking gulps of her mug, and ordered another bottle. I sat there and finished my potato soup, and leaned back and waited.

"I'm not giving up drinking," she proclaimed.

There was another extended period of silence. She drained her mug yet again, and finished off her meat pie. I waited, watching her, enjoying the fact that she had such a pretty face.

"I'm not giving up love making either," she concluded.

"I should hope not," I agreed.

She ordered yet another bottle which the barkeep delivered along with a tray needed to take away all the empties. She looked at me again. I returned the favor. She took a few more gulps from her mug and stared into it as if saying, "how'd this get empty already?"

"I give up trying to give up," she sighed putting down the mug. "What do you propose?"

I was in a mischievous mood, and I had drunk just enough alto wine to dull my common sense, so my proposal was along the lines of her lying naked on our bed in the moonlight while one of Solitude's best painters captured the scene in oils for all posterity.

"Okay," she said, entirely bereft of even the faintest whiff of a hint of second thoughts. And she got up from the table and gestured to the barkeep that I was the one paying. In the meantime I was seriously having all those second thoughts Sofia wasn't about that proposal and was desperately wracking my brains for an alternative. Now some of you male readers may be asking, "So what's wrong with it? She's supposed to have a physic which you routinely insist is enchanting?" Well it's like this. It's also my private property if you understand what I mean. I suddenly realized that there was no female painter in Solitude and likewise, if he was good enough it might end up in a museum when we were dead and in Sovngarde. Our great - grandchildren walking into that museum and seeing their matriarch all ready for *ahem* bed was not the sort of memory I wanted them to have of her. Let alone the rest of Tamriel. Seriously now, the treasured wife of the Dragonborn, close friend of Jarl Elisif, dragon-slayer, vampire hunter, heroine of Skyrim, one of the three saviors of Nirn, and even more epic on the mattress? It just doesn't go together people. Put that in a museum and you know what everyone will remember her for . . . hint, it has nothing to do with Alduin the World Eater.

"So when do we start?" she asked as I got out the door with her and took a breath of the fresh new summer air as the stars twinkled overhead.

"We'll go to the Bardic College tomorrow to do two things," I answered. "First, let them know I will be gone for an extended period of time. And second, to get the story down straight so there can be no doubt where it would be if it actually existed."

"Which it does," replied Sofia. "Do amethysts go best with my eyes, or sapphires? Never mind I'll have you put both on the necklace."


	33. Chapter 33 - The Brewery Bees

**The Brewery Bees**

"So Mommy was really thirsty and she wanted to go find the Honeywine river?" asked Freya.

"Yes, that's right," I replied. "And since we had not had our Honeymoon yet, we decided to do both."

"This was when Auntie Nibbles and Uncle Owie were having theirs?" continued Freya.

"Yes," replied Serana. "We had just gotten married a couple of weeks before."

"Do you nibble Uncle Owie's neck like you nibble mine?" asked Freya looking up at Serana.

"Your father has more story to tell," suggested Serana with a slightly panicked smile.

"Yes I do," I started again, rather rapidly given Freya's question. After all, if you are familiar with my prior adventures with Sofia, you know Serana started out a very ancient vampire who choose to return to mortality and married my brother. But some old habits die hard and as you've already seen her nibble Marty's neck, well you don't need much imagination to guess what sort of nibbling she does on my brother's neck. In fact, if you have heard of our adventures with her, you know exactly what sort of nibbles (if enough poetic license is granted me) she gives to my brother. "We went to the Bardic College first thing in the morning after we got up and I gave your mommy her morning head rub and back-scratch."

"And her special breakfast magic potion," suggested Serana with a gentle tone and subtle smile. "Don't forget that."

"You're just enjoying this aren't you!" accused Sofia. She finished her mug and set it on the table next to her chair and grabbed a second from the tray which she took a good gulp out of.

"Seri and I only do these things because we love you," I suggested, mostly for the children's benefit.

"And you like living dangerously," replied Sofia.

"You know I like Valentine's stories," replied Serana. "Don't you like them, Freya?"

"I like daddy's stories!" insisted Freya.

"I do TOO!" insisted Martin who did not wish to be left out of the loop.

"So your mommy was very happy and ready to go looking for the river," I said. "And so we went to Giraud Gemane at your daddy's college and your mommy asked him . . ."

* * *

"So where's the Fountain of Booze!" demanded Sofia. "Valentine and I have a bet and I'm on a tight schedule."

"There is no Fountain of Booze," suggested Giraud. "But there is a song about the Honeywine river which tells of a river of most delicious mead that ever flowed which you can drink of. It was written by a Breton about three generations ago. His name was Mack Clintock I believe."

"Does it tell you where it's found?" persisted Sofia. She had by that point gotten deeply into Giraud's personal space, her nose almost touching his. He would have backed up but as she approached him initially, he had already retreated back to the wall somewhat unnerved by her 'girl on a mission' glare she was directing at him. This was the woman that all of Skyrim knew had been there when Alduin had been taken down so naturally folks were not a little intimidated by her. And she knew it too. To say she did not play it to her advantage would be to deny an essential part of Sofia's philosophy of life, that is, if you have it, use it in their face. Needless to say, while the tales would have me standing in front of Alduin striking bravely with my sword laughing at the gouts of flame he was unleashing while Sofia was on my arm looking lovingly at my face; when she was present, the vision rapidly was replaced with her booting him up'side the head while I knelt at her feet and worshiped the very dirt which clung to her shoes. Somehow, the struggle including the three ancient heroes of Sovngarde, Serana, and Sofia's determination to face Alduin only after her makeup was perfect, failed to make it into the Bardic lay.

"All I can do is have Aia Arria sing it to you," said Giraud. "She's been working on it for the next Burning of King Olaf which is next week and could use the practice in front of a . . . um . . . demanding audience."

"Well what are you waiting for?" exclaimed Sofia raising her arms as she practically spat in his face from her exclamations. "Go get her."

Giraud couldn't move fast enough.

"Patience dear," I suggested. "I have to work with these people each day you know."

"You don't want me to succeed because then you'll win," she retorted. "I know you, Valentine. You'll find a way to stop me from finding it if you can."

"Is that the sort of thing a man who loves a woman does?" I asked.

"If there's a bet on with that woman who's undefeated you bet!" she affirmed.

"Sofi Sofi Sofi," I said softly gently guiding her chin so that I could look into those big milky cotton blue eyes of hers. It is one of those little gestures I do that I have learned tells her that she's really loved and she always goes 'a little squishy' if you know what I mean when I do it. "If it doesn't exist, what do I have to do to keep you from finding it? Nothing. You'll never find it so I can just happily tag along and let you molest me when ever you want and still come out the winner. You can't find something that isn't there."

Sofia made one of those long squealing groans between her clenched teeth. That was the second time she had made that sort of noise. The first time happened after I had been away on a week long trip to Riften for College business. I had walked up right behind her while she was busy folding up blankets in the wardrobe and I had given her a rather sensual caress with both my hands down her front and apparently she had really missed me . . . But perhaps I shouldn't go into any more detail as to what she did after I did that.

"Yes yes," I said. "You hate it when I come at you with logic."

"Um, I'm not disturbing anything am I?" asked Aia who had apparently walked up during this little exchange.

We both looked at her somewhat embarrassed. At least I was.

"I wasn't sure if I was about to interrupt a romantic kiss or a fight," Aia admitted.

"Oh we always look like this," answered Sofia. "If I couldn't bite Valentine's head off after I kissed it I'd be so bored I'd go over to the Blue Palace and give Jarl Elisif a wedgie."

"Oh my," exclaimed Aia raising her hand to her mouth. "Talos forgive me but I almost wish I could see you do that."

"Don't encourage her," I said rapidly. "She'll do it if she's guaranteed an audience."

"Well you want me to sing 'The Honeywine River' then," she asked.

We both nodded and Aia did a cough clearing of her throat and began to sing.

One evening as the sun went down,  
And the stars were just a twinklin'  
Down on the road, a westward bound,  
A rambler he was trampin'.

I see you boys are just sitting,  
And just starting to finely dine,  
But I won't stay, I'm off to find,  
The River of Honeywine.

On the River of Honeywine,  
You can do whatever you please,  
For all the guards of the old Jarl,  
Have arrows in both their knees.

And you can drink your fill all day,  
From a mug you plucked off a reed,  
The golden river flows so sweet,  
For it's filled with honeyed mead.

And there's never growling stomachs,  
As you lay among the rushes,  
For all the food that you can eat,  
Grows on honey nut bushes.

And the sweetest candies found there,  
You can take when e'r you please,  
You simply stretch and reach up high,  
And pluck from the sweet roll trees.

We smiled and bade him our fare wells,  
For our banquette was mighty fine,  
But sometimes we still do wonder,  
Did he find his Honeywine?

Sofia sighed and leaned her back against me. It was kind of nice. But she remained focused on Aia's singing. Once Aia finished and did her little curtsy . . . "What about the brewery bees, the honey flowers, and the great bee hive vat?" Sofia asked without so much as a clap of applause.

"Well there are versions which mention it," began Aia. "But this is the version I learned for next week's Burning. Will you be there?"

"Not this year," she replied. "I have a bet with my Valentine that he's going to lose. And so we will be traveling."

"Oh? Where are you going?" asked Aia.

"We're going to find the Honeywine for our honeymoon," pronounced Sofia.

"Oh?" asked Aia with a bit of a giggle. "That sounds like such a romantic honeymoon. And your bet with Valentine?"

"He says it doesn't exist. I'm going to prove him wrong."

"I . . . see," Aia replied. It was dawning on her that Sofia was dead serious.

"So who sings this song?" continued Sofia. I remained with my arms around her shoulders since I like being in physical contact with her. When you have a girl this pretty who wants you to be holding her routinely it's kind of hard to let go. And besides, I had never seen Sofia exercising the thinking part of her cranium before. This was almost like making love with her for the first time . . . Not that I remembered that actually. Sanguine's brew you see. But to see this girl thinking and working something out was such a new experience with her that it was kind of like falling in love all over again.

"Well the bards," suggested Aia.

"No I mean is it sung in High Rock or Stros M'kai or Anvil?"

"No," replied Aia after thinking for a moment. "Excuse me," she apologized. "I've never had to use Giraud's music history lessons before to answer a question." She seemed to think a bit more while Sofia fidgeted. "It's only sung in Windhelm, Dawnstar, and Solitude," she finished. "At least these days. It might have been sung in Winterhold when Winterhold had a port, but no one requests it there any more."

"Perfect," replied Sofia who simply turned and walked right out of my arms and headed for the exit. I sighed and thanked Aia for her help and left shaking my head at Sofia's utter lack of courtesy for those around her. I caught up to her as she reached our main road door.

"It's on the west side of Skyrim then," she concluded.

"Based on the song," I replied.

"Which means we can reach it pretty quickly once we leave Winterhold," she continued.

"Hmm?"

"Well that's the only library in Skyrim," she continued. "If we don't find it's location there we'll have to go into Cyrodiil and see the library at the Mage's Guild College there."

"So we might be going to Cyrodiil as well for our Honeymoon?" I asked.

She turned very slowly towards me with narrowed eyes.

"You're not complaining or screaming or telling me I'm an idiot, Valentine. What are you planning?"

"A honeymoon," I replied.

"No way!" she retorted. "You've got something planned I know it."

"Sofi," I answered. "I will confess that I have lied to you in the past and it was wrong of me to do so. I'm sorry. But I said I was going to look for this with you and follow where you go so you can have a honeymoon that is as adventurous or as romantic as you like. So I'm not going to do anything sneaky or devious. Besides, it does not exist . . ."

"Does to!"

"Consequently I really don't have to do anything except be your love slave for the rest of this little jaunt."

She looked at me for a moment. She liked the idea of me being her 'love slave' obviously, with special emphasis upon the slave definition. And likewise it was slowly dawning on her that if I really didn't think it existed, then it made sense that I would see no reason to 'sabotage' her quest. I was watching those wheels between her ears and behind her eyes practically spinning in that pretty head of hers and I was loving every second of this. I had already concluded that just to see her thinking and planning and making logical conclusions was worth losing the bet. Of course I wasn't going to lose it. The idea that there was a river of mead flowing out of the western mountains of Skyrim was so absurd it required no effort on my part.

You may say, "Okay Valentine, there are talking dogs, talking dragons, giants who stride across the tundra, an ancient vampire who happens to be a mother in law to your brother and became that because another vampire who would have been your brother's father in law, if he had survived to the wedding, tried to destroy all of Tamriel by shutting down the sun . . . The Sun . . . You know? That big yellow thing in the sky? And you think there can't be a River of Mead?

Yes I do. Think about it. Skyrim is filled with Nords right? Nords drink mead like water right? Do you really think if there were such a thing, it would stay hidden . . . In SKYRIM? Like I said. It didn't exist. Even it if had been here when the Nords first set foot on these shores, they would have drunk it dry millennia ago.

So I was going to follow her happily all over Skyrim and just do what I could to make it as romantic as possible. Sooner or later she would get discouraged and give it up. Probably the moment she found out there was a sale at Black Briar down in Riften.

"Our next stop is Winterhold," concluded Sofia. "So get the wagon ready. And I think I'm going to want at least a dozen pearls on the necklace."

"You mean no more amethysts or sapphires?"

"With the amethysts and sapphires," clarified Sofia.


	34. Chapter 34 - The Honey Nut Bushes

**The Honey-Nut Bushes**

"What was the wagon like, daddy?" asked Freya. "Big sister Eli tells me about it but she keeps saying 'I forget' when I ask her."

"Well it had a big bed in the front where your mommy and daddy would sleep and when Baldor, Elisif, and Harkon were just little babies they would sleep up there with us when we went on trips with it. But Auntie Nibbles had her own bed down on the floor in the closet before we turned it into a bunk room for Baldor and Elisif."

"You slept in the closet?" asked Martin to Serana. "Were you bad? Mommy makes me sit in the closet when I'm bad."

Serana was having hard time thinking of the right answer for that. "I never was that sort of bad," she concluded.

"What was your bed in the closet like?" asked Freya.

"Well it was all cosy, velvety, and soft and I had a lid I could close and lock so I could be safe when I was sleeping," replied Serana.

"I wish I had a bed like that," said Martin who was thinking it sounded like a pretty neat arrangement.

"It wasn't a bed for little boys," suggested Serana. And she was right on the money. It had been the sort of bed which would have given little Martin nightmares.

"Mommy says she and daddy had to lift you out of the bed in the mornings," observed Freya at this juncture.

"Well it's true," replied Serana. "I was very sleepy in the mornings and your mommy and daddy sometimes had to come in and wake me up." And then she had that mischievous look she got on occasion when she would remember moments which she knew I would be embarrassed over. You see, when she had returned to mortality, I discovered she had a very bright pink blush in her face that would make her feel very hot as well. So I did what I could to embarrass her on occasion, especially since she could be very private about her relationship with Aurelian. Needless to say, she had never forgotten those first blushes and she retaliated when ever she could. I braced myself for what would come next. Not that I knew what deep and dark embarrassing moment was about to be revealed. There had been so many of them in those adventurous months.

"One day," continued Serana. "Your mommy was busy fixing her face so she would look pretty for your daddy and he tried to wake me up all by himself. And he slipped and I fell right on top of him."

"Did you hurt him?" asked Martin.

"I bet she did," suggested Freya to Martin nodding her head seriously for emphasis.

"My knee kind of hit him in a very sensitive spot so he hurt very much," she continued.

Sofia's eyes were twinkling as she lifted her second helping of ale to her mouth and began to drain the mug dry.

"Did mommy come in and kiss it to make it better?" asked Martin wide eyed.

And my darling Sofia managed to turn her head to the side so when she spewed that mouthful of ale it covered the wall and not Serana. I wasn't much help I was laughing so hard and Serana was blushing furiously and fanning herself.

"Well?" continued Martin, totally mystified by what was so funny.

Once I had recovered, I continued the story by saying, "So the next morning we got up and began to pack the wagon. Your mother first finished her breakfast and then gave me her 'Honey do it or else' list and she said . . .

* * *

"I'm really sure we'll find the books which tell us where it is at the Mage's College," she proclaimed to me as I put out the bread and cheese and sausage for breakfast the next morning. "So pack for two weeks just in case things go south . . . like they always do."

I nodded and smiled. She was happily nibbling her favorite cheeses and sausages while I did a quick check under the table to make sure she wasn't hiding a full mead bottle in her lap. Breakfast mead is three parts water and one part mead. Sofia's idea of breakfast mead is four parts mead and a picture of a waterfall on the wall behind her. I will admit I was in a good mood. This was looking to be the first time since I could remember that I would be doing something that had nothing to do with saving Skyrim from some world encompassing doom. I literally was going to get to travel with Sofia like we were just a couple. And there she was, munching away on her breakfast, pulling out . . . Get this . . . A sheet of paper and a quill pen and ink and she started to make a list.

I couldn't stand it, I had to walk over there and give her a hug around the shoulders and a kiss behind her ear.

"Valentine," she said somewhat sternly. "You're making my heart get all thumpity and I won't get what I need to get done if you keep this up because I'll have to throw you under the kitchen table and deal with you there for a bit. So take a deep breath, roll in a snow bank somewhere, and wait until this evening when we can attack each other after dinner."

I sighed, "Alright dear."

"Now pack the wagon like a good . . . mmm huzzz . . . bund? And when you finish that I'll give you this list of things to shop for," she finished. Apparently she was trying the word out for the first time and had not really learned to pronounce it right. I was more than happy to start packing the wagon. It would give me the means to do what I knew I would have to do if this trip was going to remain happy and romantic.

You see, one of the things I did when I first started my musical quests in Cyrodiil was collect any loose bottles of wine, beer, or ale and sell them at the local inns. About six or so bottles, ten if they were really cheap, two if they were high quality stuff, was worth a night in the local inn's bed. That changed when Sofia began to tag along with me. I wanted that girl so badly that I began to give her the bottles as a drinking treat when we would be walking from one place to another. I thought that she would stay around longer if I did that. I really didn't realize just how attracted she was to me when she had first laid eyes upon me back before I had been jumped by the Imperials in that ambush. But after my conversation with Mara in Sovngarde, I came to understand that Sofia had been selected and groomed by the Gods to make my quest to defeat Alduin possible. I literally would have been dead pretty quick without her. Given her background and behavior, I also came to the realization that the Gods enjoy a good practical joke as well.

Anyway, she would expect me to pull these bottles out on occasion for her and she would be looking forward to drinking while I was driving. Now it has to be understood that for Sofia, patience is not a virtue but a mind numbing behavior which keeps her from drinking when she would like. Accordingly while she liked being 'surprised' by a bottle coming out for her on a sunny walk down the cobblestones of Haafinger or The Reach, she also looked for excuses to 'find' the hidden bottles in my backpack. And when she found them, well she had to drink them, right then, just in case they spoiled between then and when I would pull them out for her.

You may note that alcohol is not easily spoiled. So? Sofia merely needs an excuse, it's factuality is not essential to it's employment.

So by the time we had been adventuring for a couple of weeks with Serana, my bottles were vanishing from my backpack on a regular basis. And the sweetrolls, did I mention those?

So packing the wagon was a chore I liked doing when she was not around. You see, when I had that wagon built, I had a dozen or so secret compartments installed in it which would hold bottles of drink. I made sure she was not around when I opened one of those up so she never was able to find all of them. And once she had found one of them, I would stop using it. Since it would no longer have ale or mead in it, she would stop looking there after a while and I was thinking she had probably forgotten where it was or how she can gotten into it. As it was, I now wrapped each bottle in a linen wrap which muffled the clinking of glass on glass. Needless to say, I could store 48 bottles of mead, usually Black Briar since that was her favorite, and likewise another 8 in the under-seat boot which was in the front. She knew about the under-seat boot, and would empty it in the first two days of our trip if she was feeling temperate. I was planning on two 'treats' a day for this trip.

It wasn't the easiest thing to do, packing the wagon, since we did not store it by the house. There was no room in the city of Solitude by Proudspire to store the wagon. It was kept in the stables by Katla's Farm, along with the draft horses who still had no names though I called them, "The Horses." So once I had the wagon hitched up, I rode it to the market place, purchased the Black Briar, wrapped them in the linen, stuffed them in the secret compartments, and then drove the wagon to the basement door where Jordis, my housecarl and I began the process of packing for a two week trip in which no serious combat as expected. Now note I said serious. There were still brigands about, there were still wolves, bears, sabre cats, and the occasional dragon who thought it would be a really great boost to his reputation if he became the one who 'took out' the Dragonborn. So the dragon scale armor was packed, along with the dragon-bone shields, swords, and bows. And these were the very pieces I had enchanted with the fire, frost, shock, and magic resistances I was able to master along with the paralysis and fire enchantments on the swords and bows before I, Sofia, and Serana had donned them and gone to Sovngarde.

So it should have come as no surprise that our weapons and armor were all nicely packed up in the closet and cupboards _inside_ the wagon when Jordis and I and Sofia were conferring over her list _outside_ the wagon as a group of six grey robed men walked up to us.

"You there," began their spokesman. "Are you the one they call the Dragonborn who is seeking after the Honeywine River?"

You simply can't say anything at the Bardic College when you are Dragonborn, it turns into a rumor which flies all over town in a matter of hours.

A quick scan of these people suggested to me that they were clearly strangers to Solitude.

"No, that's not me," I replied. "The Dragonborn is up in the Blue Palace talking with Falk Firebeard over the rumors that he will be shortly proposing to Jarl Elisif. Not sure if he's trying to fan the flames of them to get people to overlook that rather embarrassing failure of the sewer system after last week's rain or if they are trying to suppress them." I pointed towards the Blue Palace up the street.

"Seriously now," said Sofia. "Look at this guy." She pointed to me. "He's way too short, he has a pooch in his stomach from all the food he's been eating, and he's not got on any scary looking armor or weapons. He hasn't shaved. His ears need cleaning out. He smells like he's been laying in a crypt for decades. He's not even good looking! How could you possibly mistake this guy for the Dragonborn?"

I had not seen her being this smart in ages. I gave her a look which I hoped conveyed the idea that I had fallen even more deeply in love with her. Yes, all I wanted to do was give her a big bone cracking hug. But I restrained myself since it would not have been appropriate given the circumstances.

It's true! All of it! I swear! I really felt that way! Well maybe not entirely . . .

"Don't look at me!" insisted Jordis shrugging her shoulders. "I'm only a housecarl under the demesne of Jarl Elisif the Fair. I just do grunt work. I'm not paid to think or answer questions."

We've done this sort of thing before and so naturally they looked at each other confused. After all, your typical self-inflated person would have said "of course I'm the great and glorious Dragonborn, hero of Skyrim and savior of all the little children yada yada yada."

"But don't you want the celebrity status, Valentine?" You ask.

Well you have to understand, this isn't the Imperial City, this is Solitude. Among Nords, Dragonborn is not a title necessarily commanding respect and awe, it is not a political club wielded with complete impunity to threaten the little people with, it is, not infrequently, a challenge to test your manhood on. These guys might have been here to ask me to save their cattle from a great dragon, shake my hand so they could say they had met me, or clobber me so they could claim they were even MORE scary than the Dragonborn. And we were packing for our honeymoon and I was NOT in the mood to be sidetracked.

"Brothers," suggested one of them. "I think they are telling the truth. He certainly does not look like the Dragonborn. He's not even Nord. And the Dragonborn's wife is supposed to be a glowing beauty who's hair shines black as ink and twinkles in the starlight. Her face is supposed to be sprinkled with the spice of cinnamon freckles, and her eyes are supposed to remind you of the blue sky in morning. Her body is supposed to be toned to the quality of a goddess with skin as soft as silk. This woman has stringy black hair, splotches on her cheeks, and eyes which suggest a heavy night's drinking. And she looks flabby and fat. She can't possibly be the beautiful wife of the Dragonborn."

"That's it!" shouted Sofia summoning up her magic and pulling out her side dagger. "You are going to be BLOWN OUT of Solitude by the Dragonborn's wife RIGHT NOW!"

"Ah ha!" cried the spokesman of those grey robes. "I knew that would work!" He summoned up his own magics and daggers came out.

"We have been so PLAYED!" screamed Jordis pulling out her sword and shield. Like all housecarls, she had been born wearing steel plate and could not remove so much as a single knee copt without her body falling apart beneath it. She went into point while Sofia and I began to unleash firebolts behind her.

Fortunately, such is the quality of Alteration Armor spells that they get better when you are in normal clothing. So I was able to cast Iron Skin and throw up a ward which blocked their first icebolts. And they were coming at us with daggers and not two hand swords. Ironskin could handle daggers, even the one's forged of ebony, and I had never seen anyone wield one of those rumored daedric daggers which required the heart of a daedra to make. But on the down side, they proved equally adept at the casting of magic so our initial blows were pretty much unremarkable in their application. Then with five monks in front of him warding off our attacks and the sword thrusts of Jordis, the boss monk stepped back and shouted something in an ancient Imperial dialect which sounded like "Sanguinaris Alcoholis Inebriatus Bibierius".

And suddenly I was drunker than the combined drunkenness of Sofia and her twenty sisters each locked up in a 100 Keg Mead Vat. The entirely world was a wobbling and no matter how hard I aimed my fire bolts, they were only inflicting horrific damage on the clouds above and the cobblestones below. And a stray cat. But no puppies thank The Nine. The children of Solitude would never have forgiven me. Cats, on the other hand, are expendable. Jordis was likewise staggering among the monks swinging somewhat wildly saying things like 'Whasisgoningoninmahhaid?"

"What kind of spell was that?" mocked Sofia. "You would think if you were going to take on the Dragonborn and his Good Looking Wife you would cast something that would work."

You know, I really wasn't at all surprised by her immunity to this spell that had been just cast upon us. She does after all, have a very high alcohol tolerance. It took me a bit to get my ward up and switch to electrical streams. Jordis was sort of clumsily whapping people with her shield. Sofia on the other hand, swivel kicked her way through the five monk shield and clobbered the head monk with the pommel of her sword which broke the impact of the spell. I began to sober up. But I am speaking relatively. I was down to as drunk as Sofia and her nineteen sisters locked in their 100 Keg Mead Vats.

One ancient general observed that so long as you know your enemy and likewise know yourself, you will never be in danger during a thousand battles. These monks had done some homework, but they had failed to note Sofia's high exuberance for drinking and they had apparently been counting on the battle being rather one sided with that spell incapacitating us. Still it wasn't the like the battle in Castle Volkihar when the Dawnguard simply rolled over the vampires like they were sticks in the sand against the incoming tide. For starters the Dawnguard wasn't around to do that. So my bolts of electricity kind of swung this way and that way zapping Jordis and Sofia on occasion. Sofia felt the charge and informed me I was going to pay for that. Not that Jordis was much better, but she actually started to balance the battle out by stumbling into two of the monks and knocking them over with her on top of them. Demure little delicate girls my pimpled rear end. You don't want to be on the receiving end of a Jordis steel clad tumble. By this time I figured out that if I just shot at the street in front of me and walked the stream forward I was able to hit the monks somewhat.

So naturally this new revelation came three seconds before I had expended the last of my magicka reserves. Now don't get me wrong. I make piles of magicka potions. They were right next to me. _Inside_ the wagon.

"If you kill me, I'll be sure to take you with me!" came Sofia's defiant cry. "Well, not with me but you know what I mean!"

I realized that outside of the one monk in front of me, there were three monks on Sofia and there was a dagger very close to her throat. In a brief moment of inspiration I metaphorically threw all my magicka into Oblivion's boiling lava lakes and staggered into the monk in front of me counting on my wobbling body force to knock him aside and then wildly swinging and kicking I fell into the three monks who had nearly cornered her.

"I'll safe yuh mah darlin Sofa!" I shouted. FAH ROOS DOUGH!

As you no doubt suspected, that had no impact what so ever.

"Screw the furniture!" she shouted. "And give me a hand here!"

I had made a discovery. If I just tweaked my staggering and swinging, I could actually hit them. What's more, they were having a hard time ducking my punches and kicks and body slams because when you are drunk off your duff, your movements are really hard to predict. And what's more, I was throwing myself into this drunken brawling with my whole heart and soul. For one of the first times that I could recall. I was the one saving her and not the other way around.

Jordis was taking a nice little drunken nap in the street, and gutter, she really hadn't made a decision on which she preferred. The two monks were conscious beneath her, but when you have a five foot ten inch woman, in the peak of physical fitness, who weights around 160 pounds and is likewise clad in 80 pounds of armor on top of you, it's kind of hard to lift that off of you. And when you happen to be a guy underneath that, there's that little part of your brain that's suggesting that this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Likewise it does not help when she is so relaxed that you begin to doubt the existence of her skeletal structure. So we were down to four of them for the two of us and one of us was still very much sober, though she was rather disappointed when she realized what the spell had done to me and Jordis.

I tried to do that Sofia styled swivel kick she was so good at when she smacks the side of a person's hips with a good solid hit with her foot and throws them off balance. But I tweaked wrong and hit him in the back of the knee. His leg when up, he lost his balance, he fell over, and cracked his skull on the cobblestone rim of the gutter. I made a note to try to duplicate that process on the next monk. It didn't work the next time but the pointed toe of my boot did make a rather forward, not to mention close enough to be indecent, introduction to his groin, so that worked too.

So we were down to two monks and Sofia was more than capable of handling one while I stumbled into the other and held on by grabbing the front of his robe. This resulted in a brief but rather animated waltz around the street while I lifted up my right hand, for my magicka had been able to recover, and shot an ice bolt which was supposed to go into his face, but not entirely up his nose. Not that I really objected to the fact that it went up his nose. That was more than an little incapacitating for him.

"You came this close to killing me," she snarled at the last guy, "Which would have ruined my honeymoon!" and with a good solid thrust, she put her sword into his head through the underside of the jaw and knocked his corpse away. Those monks who had survived were scattering and scurrying away and I was totally incapable of chasing them.

"Yew gonna getem?" I suggested.

She looked at me. "How in Oblivion, did you manage to get drunk?" She paused and frowned. "Without me!"

"Sorreybout that," I replied. "I thin it was a spelllll. Jordis goddet too."

She looked at me for a second. "I don't know that spell!" she exclaimed in annoyance. "Wonder if you can cast it on yourself," she continued to muse.

I stood there, with a few wobbles, while Jordis exhaled once as the last monk managed to get out from under her and tried to make a run for it.

"On no you don't!" cried Sofia. She kicked him in the pit of the stomach and plopped on top of him and grabbing him by the collars of his robes, pulled his face up to her. "Teach me that spell or I'll kill you!" she snarled.

"Kill me," he crooned. "And I go to Sanguine's Realms. And I would only teach that spell to a woman of charm, not a hag like you."

She slammed his head into the street cobblestones, repeatedly, while making little squeals of anger.

"Isokay Sofee," I said. "I thin yer beeeu . . . um beeeuu . . . um . . . gud lookin."

It's at this point that the guards showed up. They took a few seconds to process the scene. There were three monks dead or unconscious on the ground. Jordis was in a drunken sleep in the street. I was in a drunken stagger next to the wagon. And Sofia was completely sober.

"Are you alright?" asked one of the guards to Sofia as she stood up.

"You're asking me?" she queried.

"You're the only one sober!" the guard replied. It was clear he was still having a hard time processing the scene.

"It's not my fault!" she exclaimed. "You think I would be sober if I had a choice?"

"My point exactly!" the guard answered.

"Wait," muttered Sofia as she tried to process that.

I had just discovered that the shady stones of Proudspire were cool to the touch and I lay my head against them. It was making me feel better.

"Thane?" began one of the guards.

"They whacked us first," I sighed.

"You okay Thane Florian?"

"Godda drunk spell cast on me," I groaned. "I love you, wall," I muttered to the house.

"Ah," mused the guard. He turned to Sofia. "And you did not get the spell cast on you?" She looked at him uncertain.

"Yeah," I said. "Sheded buddit dident wurk"

Sofia sighed and her shoulders drooped a little. She rather languidly nodded her head. The guards picked up the unconscious monks and the corpse and carried them off while Sofia helped me into the house and upstairs to the bedroom.

"This is so wrong," she muttered.

I sort of stumbled into the bed and lay there for a bit watching the world swirl around me. I presume she helped Jordis into the house as well before she came up and sat down looking at me. Her and her twin.

"Hey," I suggested. "I see two of you . . . That makes you twice as beu . . . ummm. . . . bee uuuu tiiii fullllll."

"You don't think I'm fat?" she asked quietly. She was looking down at her stomach which was of course, slightly pouchy from the baby.

"Yew look like yew have our baby inyew," I said. "En I think that makes yew look really pretty . . . Yeah."

"You really mean it?"

"Sofi I've always thought yew were a goddass. Pretty as Dahbellah. Prettier. Iswhy I fellinlove withyew when you were on that haypile."

"But he called me a HAG," she cried. I winced. Loud noises were really starting to bug me.

"He wus playin yew," I sighed. "Trickin yew inta attackin him. He wuz lyen."

She pause for a second. Then she grinned. "YEAH!" she cried.

I winced again.

She stood up and walked out of the bedroom. I closed my eyes. When I woke up, it was dark, my head was pounding, and Sofia was asleep beside me. I staggered out of bed and worked my way down stairs to the alchemy corner where I made my hangover remedy. I had never had to drink it before, and while I did not greet the relief with a Whoo! like Sofia did, it was an interesting experience. It was like someone punched me once in the nose and knocked all the sinuses loose. Then the pain was gone and I could think clearly again. I walked back upstairs and got into some night clothes. Then I crawled back into bed.

"Mmm, Valentine?" came Sofia's soft voice.

"Yes Sofi," I replied snuggling up to her. She snuggled up to me, I turned on my back and she rested her head on my shoulder while putting her hand upon my heart.

"I want a couple of rubies on my necklace."


	35. Chapter 35 - The Green Mug Reeds

**The Green Mug Reeds**

"So mommy saved you and Jordis from the mean monks?" asked Freya.

"Of course," replied Sofia. "Your mommy was very good at saving your daddy from horrible things. I did it all the time when we were adventuring." She gave me a cheeky grin. Then she picked up another mug and took a drink from it. Serana and I looked at each other and nodded. I held up three fingers surreptitiously.

"So what happened next?" asked Freya.

"Well," I replied. "The next morning I made Jordis my special magic breakfast potion and she helped me finish packing while your mommy spent her time making sure she was as pretty as Dibella."

"Mommy was as pretty as Dibella?" asked Martin.

"Still is," I replied.

Sofia sat there and smiled contentedly. While Martin looked at Sofia with renewed awe. Being four, it was easy for him to believe his mother was as pretty as I thought she really was.

"Baldor says he knows girls which are prettier," observed Freya. "He says so."

"Your big brother is getting such a beating when he gets home," concluded Sofia.

"Come up with a better reason than he thinks someone is prettier than you," I suggested.

"Don't worry Valentine," she answered. "I've got more than just a list."

"Once we finished packing," I continued. "We got into the wagon, said goodbye to Jordis who was going to watch the house while we were gone, and then we rode out of town and headed down the road for Winterhold. The sun was shining and warm, the cliffs by the road were covered in green vines and mountain flowers, and your mother was so happy and loved me so much she looked deeply into my eyes and she said . . .

* * *

"Did you put mead in the boot?" asked Sofia in a manner which suggested that this ride would be long and both physically and psychologically painful if I had forgotten.

"Take a peek," I suggested.

She promptly stood up and turned around lifting up the cushion and checking underneath. She saw all those bottles and she grinned happily. Pulling one out she popped the cork and turned to me and said, "Has someone told you what I'm like when I'm drunk or something?"

"Well I've heard that you sing a lot, and are easy to molest," I suggested. "And you sway about a bit and giggle really cute like."

"It's lies . . . All lies," she insisted. She took a few swigs from the bottle and we continued to ride down the road. "What a fine afternoon this is." she observed. We rode down the road and she leaned back and watched the cliffs roll by. "Do you know what I love to do in the afternoon?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Nope" I said. I had presumed she enjoyed drinking mead and adventuring. But we had been nearly together for a year and while I thought I knew a lot about her, she could still take me by surprise.

"Neither do I," she said.

"Well it's a nice warm afternoon," I said. "Think about what you like about today and that will help fill in the blanks."

She finished her bottle and noticed a farmer leading a cow down the road. The cow had those black tar markings on it's back which told that it was to be a gift to a giant. Sofia got a mischievous grin and stood up and threw the bottle at the cow. The bottle bounced off the rump and the cow snorted and charged forward, past the farmer who took off after the cow, having no idea that Sofia had been the one to sent it barreling forward in annoyance. I sighed.

"Is that what you enjoy in the afternoons?" I asked. I was, I will admit, a bit annoyed with her. You would think that saving the world would have given her a sense of responsibility.

"I like causing trouble," she concluded. She looked at me and smiled. When she noted that I wasn't smiling back she sniffed once at me and leaned back with that 'so who cares what you think? I know I don't' expression of hers.

The wagon rolled down the road for a bit. We were coming up to Dragon's Bridge.

"It's not that it hurt anyone!" she suddenly argued.

"Guilty conscious?" I asked.

"I did nothing wrong!" she snapped.

"Oh?" I replied. "That farmer had to make a sacrifice of a good cow in order to keep peace with the local giants and you made his trip just a little harder. And on a very nice warm and sunny afternoon which could have made his day just a little better and would have softened the loss he was going to have to face."

She slumped into the bench and crossed her arms and put on her very serious frowny face. Meanwhile I just drove the wagon forward, through Dragon's Bridge, over the Bridge, and then down the road, taking the first right road towards Morthal. I figured we would be at Morthal come evening. Then I remembered something Serana had said about Morthal. I wondered if that vampire coven was still up to no good.

"This certainly has turned out to be a rather miserable afternoon," she grumbled.

"In the midst of this halcyon honeymoon?" I queried.

She gave me a long slow look.

"I've said nothing," I observed. "What's going on in your head is your own thing. And I think you know that."

She remained silent and staring straight ahead as the wagon continued to roll down the road. A few miles down the road was where we reached another stone bridge which was built between rapids and waterfalls. The sun was catching the droplets of the waterfalls and making rainbows. I paused the wagon and just sat there looking at them. Sofia just stared ahead. I put my arm around her. She froze solid. I leaned back with my arm still around her and watched the waterfalls and the rainbows glimmering in them. Slowly the rainbows shifted as the sun did. I leaned towards her and whispered, "I love you" to her. She sighed and leaned into me.

"Tell you what," I suggested. "When we get to Morthal, and go into the bar there, buy a couple of farmers or ordinary workers a drink. You'll feel better. I promise."

She sighed again. I remained watching the waterfall for a bit. She looked at it for a moment and then looked at her wedding ring, that triple band of silver and gemstones that we had purchased from Ysolda when we were too drunk to remember doing it. Then she got up opened the boot, took out another bottle, and sat down next to me and snuggled up.

"I hate spending my money," she said. "So you buy the drinks for them."

"Okay," I said. "Since it's our money."

"Only when I want it to be," she replied. She leaned against me and we watched the waterfall for a bit more. "Seeing the rainbows in the waterfalls is so romantic. Watching it with you makes me fell all . . ." Then a pair of grey lumps with claws came scuttling up the banks heading straight for us. " . . . Like killing something!" she shouted and leapt off the wagon and barreled towards them, her ice spell in her right hand and mead bottle half full in her left.

"Need help?" I asked standing up and summoning up my fire bolts and Iron skin spells."

"Most people like to hunt animals," she said to one of the mud crabs as she blasted it into eternity with an ice bolt. "I also love to hunt people," she continued as she gracefully leapt over the second mud crab which reached for her with it's claws rather impotently given it's reach and her jump. With a single swivel kick, she sent the second mud crab flying over the horses and into the stream beyond. " . . . and pretty much anything else that moves."

She walked back to the wagon and got back up into the seat. There was a wicked little smile on her face. She then stood up and looked both up the road and down the road.

"Perfect," she said. "You saw what I did to those two mud crabs."

"Yes," I said with a bit of a grin.

"If you don't want to suffer the same fate, you will get into the wagon, onto the bed, remove your cloths, and I don't think I need to explain further."

"Yes, dear," I said pretending to cower. "You brute you."

I mean, you saw what she did to those two mud crabs, what could I do?

A couple of hours later, I pulled the wagon over the bridge to the other side and off the road. It was such a nice vista and the sun was getting so low I decided we would spend the night here. I began to gather wood while Sofia, reminded that yes she had agreed to fix supper when I took care of breakfast and lunch, started to get the stove heated up for an apple cabbage stew seasoned with salt and a few choice words about how she had once punched a guy to Oblivion for suggesting women belonged in the kitchen.

"I never said you belonged in the kitchen," I objected.

"You were thinking it," she accused me.

"Nonsense," I replied. "One can not spend any time with the heroine Sofia Florian the dragon slayer and vampire's dread and think for a moment she belongs in the kitchen and needs to knit." I paused for the punch line. "Once you have spent time with her, you know she belongs by the wagon stove and needs to make the bed."

Then I had to duck the three apples which were thrown at me in rapid succession. She did try to throw the cabbage too, but cabbages are too loose and leafy to make a good missile. I could have thrown up a ward, but I thought it would more entertaining to duck. And besides, she had to throw them through the wagon door to get me and that limited her kill radius. So naturally about ten seconds later, she realizes that she's just thrown supper out the wagon door at me. By this time I had collected the three apples and cabbage.

"I do believe you dropped these," I suggested politely.

She took them from my hands in a rather irritated fashion and proceeded to inflict horrible injuries upon them with the kitchen knife until, in her enthusiasm, she hacked her thumb nearly to the bone. She yelped and unleashed a torrent of profanity and cursing until I was able to take her hand and cast a healing spell upon it. Then I kissed it.

"Damn it Valentine!" she snapped while trying to shatter my rib cage with her 'big hug'. "I'm getting all sentimental which is really out of character for me!"

"Don't worry, Sofi," I whispered as I looked into those creamy blue eyes of hers. "You threw supper at me and that's very much Sofi. And you swore the paint off the wall so that's Sofi too. And you being upset that you happened to want to hug me because I mended your cut and showed my love for you is very much Sofi. So don't worry about your bit of sentiment. It'll pass."

She looked into my eyes.

"Now you're making me want to make love to you again," she sighed.

"Of course," I replied. "It is our honeymoon right? We're supposed to want to make love."

She sighed and smiled. "I suppose," she replied.

"So be a sweet little wife and fix dinner and we can do that afterwards."

She kicked me. But then, remembering she was hungry too, and seeing that I was not going to make it myself, she resumed cooking and we had a decent enough supper. Then I pulled out a bottle of Black Briar Reserve for her and she brightened up. And so we eventually got to bed and after the usual honeymoon activities just snuggled together for a while.

"It's nice being back in the wagon," she sighed. "I had forgotten how soft and cushy this mattress is."

"Made it special for you," I replied. I tried to steal a glance at her but the wagon was rather dark and there was no window to shimmer the moon light in. I could barely make out the location of her face, just a pale oval with black smudges where her hair was and two darker oval shades where her eyes should be.

"I keep expecting to hear Seri putter around down below, or open the door and go out for one of her long walks where she probably amused herself stalking innocent victims."

"I mean we can hope she just went for long walks," I suggested.

"Vampire girl? Taking a nice walk in the moonlight to sniff the air and watch the stars twinkle? I don't think so."

"Well we don't have to worry about that any more," I replied. "She returned to mortality. Got her cure. Having her honeymoon in Anvil."

Sofia giggled. "You think she's stalking him right now on the beach?"

"Stalking on the beach . . ." I mused. "Now that's a concept."

Sofia in the meantime, was mimicking some sort of creature with her right hand which was sneaking up my arm towards my neck.

"If she's doing that to my brother, he's not the only member of my family who is being hunted," I observed.

"I'm not stalking you," argued Sofia. In the meantime the pressure of her fingers suggested her hand was crouched and ready to strike from my shoulder. "My hand on the other hand," she added. Then it leapt and landed on my face where it commenced to scurry around for a moment until I managed to grab one of the fingers with my teeth. Sofia leaned up so her face was over me.

"I love you Sofia," I whispered. "I've loved you since I first laid eyes upon you."

"I know," she whispered back. She continued to run her fingers over my face for a bit.

"Took you a while to admit that," I recalled.

"I know," she replied. She kissed me softly on the lips once and continued to caress my face.

"So when am I going to hear you say that you love me back?" I asked.

"When you are not asking me to do it," she replied.

"Then how am I ever going to hear it," I asked, gently kissing her finger tips as they paused on my lips. "I'm always telling you that I love you."

"Get used to disappointments," she answered. "You should know by now you can never make me do anything."

"I can't?" I replied.

"I can feel your smile," she replied as her fingers caressed my lips. "You don't believe it but it's true. When have you ever made me do something?"

"When ever I give you Black Briar," I replied. "You drink it."

It was like she froze for a second. "That doesn't count!" she suggested in a rather intense whisper.

"Oh I'm afraid it does." '

"Does not!"

"Does too."

She knew I could keep this up all night. So she paused. I could almost feel her thinking it out. Then she ran her fingers in my hair, and her finger tips pressed gently into the whorls of my ears before she caressed my cheek again.

"Okay," she said it in a rather long exhale of breath. "I love you too. And do you know for how long I've loved you?"

"I'd like to know," I replied. I had my guesses, but it's one thing to think something, it's another to hear it.

She sighed. "I thought you would be a great sugar daddy when I watched Lokir catch up with you and start chatting. I kept expecting him to look back for me and you to follow his gaze and see me and I didn't want that." There was a pause. "But I didn't love you then. I didn't even like you. You were just my next target." She continued to caress my face. "But when I rode by you as you were trying to sleep in that cart I kind of got a closer look at you. You had no idea what was happening of course being you had been whopped on the head kind of hard and I could still see a bit of the bruise on the side." She smiled. I couldn't see it so much as hear it in her tone. "I realized then that you were kind of good looking." There was another pause. "It wasn't at the like stage but I definitely made a note that I liked looking at you. Then when you guys rode up into Helgen and there I was on the Inn porch drinking mead and watching you all getting ready for execution. I remember when you walked up to the two Legion soldiers, you had a confidant look on your face like you didn't think you would be executed and I was happy about that. It meant I could help you 'celebrate' your release you know? Buy my drinks, I'd get to play you for a bit."

I chuckled. It was so much Sofia.

"And then something goes wrong, I could tell. Suddenly you are leaning in and angry and the captain is pulling her sword out and pointing it at you. I saw you stumble over to that Stormcloak you would dash away with and suddenly I realized you were going to be executed and I didn't want that to happen. I mean, I thought it was because I was about to lose a rich sugar daddy, but at the same time, I also realized I was more upset about it than I should be."

"So it bugged you?"

"Yeah, I had to drain the entire bottle just to deal with it," she continued. Her fingers paused and she placed her palm upon my cheek and snuggled up so she could look more intently at me, using her hand to press my head more towards hers. "But then, you turn and say something and you clearly are putting on a show, or at least being the drama king and you are really looking like you are going to be the hero about it. And then I heard you shout 'I live and breath a Stormcloak' and walked right over to the block and put your head upon it. And all of a sudden I realize my heart is beating so hard . . ."

She kissed me for a couple of seconds. Then she exhaled.

"So when Alduin flies in and started to blow the place apart there I am, happy, and not just because I get to loot the inn of mead. I didn't start to pillage until I saw you had dashed into that tower. I didn't think of it at the time, but over the months we've been together I realized that if I hadn't cared, like I normally do, I would have started the taking immediately. I had to wait until I knew you were getting away. After that, well you know how that all turned out."

"You asleep on a hay pile with me just gazing at you totally unbelieving at how lucky I was to be looking at such a beautiful woman," I mused.

"Yeah," she chuckled. "I had of course, all my lines memorized on how I was going to 'run into' you at the Bannered Mare. I knew you would be there soon enough. But of course there you are in the stable and I did not expect that and you're waking me up so sweetly and I just totally lost it and my mouth takes off and the next thing I know I've pretty much given it all away."

"Well if it will make you feel any better," I replied. "I thought you were stalking me only because you were attracted to me."

"You are so naive," she cooed. And she kissed me again. "Of course you were seeing that part that I wasn't. But even then, I thought I just liked you. I wanted to pal around and adventure with you, sort of like that Breton, Glover, I paled around with after Horsa but before you."

"I thought you said you kind of liked him," I replied.

"Well I did, he was sort of special, but I was too much for him. I mean, who doesn't like to get drunk?"

"Well I don't exactly enjoy it either," I observed.

"But you were different," she replied. She was once again gently running her fingers all over my face. "You didn't not always drink with me, and you nursed your drinks, but you kept giving me all the one's I wanted, even when we were not in a bar. And you were funny. You would say the things I wanted to say but would say them first and I kept finding myself smiling. Like when you pulled that letter stunt on the two guys who were chasing after Camilla. Not that it surprised me that you pulled that one off on them. You would have to be deaf, dumb, and blind or a serious danger to the public to fancy her. But when you told me about the two letters you had written to her which were supposed to be from them, well you saw how funny I thought that was."

"You said we made a great couple or something like that then freaked out and claimed you meant team," I recalled.

There was silence from her for a moment while her fingers began running through my hair, combing it out.

"I'd get so scared," she whispered. "I was terrified I was falling in love with you. I was terrified you wanted me forever, and I was terrified you didn't. And then suddenly we fight Mirmulnir and he recognizes you are Dragonborn just before he dies and I go 'wait a moment, what have I snagged myself on?'"

"I remember," I said. I was gently stroking her back and shoulders, trying to give her a little support so she could still hover over me like she was. I really liked the fact that we were just being affectionate with each other. "You seemed to be both surprised and not surprised at the same time. Like you had convinced yourself that you had once again picked the winner."

"Well of course," she softly replied. Then she took a moment to gently kiss me for a moment. "I always knew how to get the guys I wanted for my fun times in the bars. But it's like when you buy Black Briar and the bar keep doesn't just give you a bottle of reserve by mistake, it was like she took me around to the back and gave me the whole keg since she didn't see the point of all that mead sitting around, and then hands me a silver mug to drink it in. It wasn't that I had picked yet another winner, it was that I had picked the biggest winner in all of Nirn."

I really wanted to see her face, so I cast Mage Light in a corner of the wagon by our feet. I sunk the magic point just below the blankets so that the light was muffled and dim. And I could see she had a quiet gentle sort of smile.

"You think I don't know what you're planning?" she teased. "You're now going to scratch my back and push the blankets down so you can 'do a better job' and then you'll stare at my boobs."

"And your problem with this is?"

"Who said I had a problem with it. I like being admired. So start scratching . . . Now."

I chuckled. "And you expect me to believe that this is all my idea? And you haven't told me yet when it was that you fell in love with me." I began to gently scratch her back right down the center as she liked the best.

"It was about then that I started to go kind of crazy," she sighed. "I'd sit there in the privy telling myself that you were just like the rest, you were not that special, you didn't love me, I didn't care about you. And then I'd relax and drop my guard and I was saying all sorts of things to you I didn't want to say and then I'd be embarrassed and trying to bluff my way out of it and convinced you were seeing right through me. And then you start insisting that you love me and I keep saying you don't because I'm so damn scared you do. And then the party with Sanguine, my idea of course. Get him drunk, really drunk, see what he would really say then . . ." she paused. "I was kind of hoping you were going to admit that it was all just 'bed talk'. You know, you were saying it to get me to make love to you. I could have handled that. Of course part of me would have been crushed, but if you were just like all the others, then I could turn that anger into a good shield for my feelings and then I'd be able to just play you until you were exhausted and out of coin and then I could move on."

"That was your plan?" I said.

She sighed. "I knew you would do it if I said please and smiled at you. I knew on some level you were totally smitten with me and if I pushed the right buttons you would do what ever I wanted you to." There was a pause and a bit of a sad expression in her face. "I had you wrapped around my little finger and I loved it and hated myself at the same time. And then we dashed off to the grove with Sanguine and it seemed sort of magical but I was too drunk to care and you were being so nice to me. I was not as drunk as you were so I remember this little bit. I remember that we started to dance around and around; well you were wobbling a lot and I was wobbling a little. But there were flowers falling all around us and there was the smell of honeysuckle in bloom and you looked at me and suddenly . . . It was like you were about to propose we get married and I realized right then and there that I really wanted to hear you propose. Of course I was going to say no but I so wanted that brief moment of hearing you say it . . ."

"And then?" I asked.

"Sanguine gave me another mug and of course I drained it while you stood next to me and sort of wobbled with a silly grin and then I turned to you, the one I thought was you and not your twin that is, and I said, 'You were going to say something Val?' . . . And I don't remember anything after that."

"So when you wake up in Markarth?"

"That was when I went totally crazy," she sighed. She paused to dab her eyes. "It was like all my dreams had come true which meant it was all a horrible delusion. And then you started to figure out my past and you still kept acting like you really loved me . . . and then I decide to make love to you saying to myself that I'm only being a little nice, I don't mean anything by it and it was . . . it felt so damn good. I mean it always feels good with you, expect just before my period when I get a little dry and could use a couple of fingers of butter or cooking oil if you know what I mean and . . ." she paused. "Damn it, I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

I chuckled. "And why not?" I asked.

"I don't want to creep you out right now." She looked down the bed. "You've not pushed the covers back like you normally do," she observed.

"It's cold out there," I observed.

"I guess it is," she said reflectively. "The waterfall and all that icy mountain water coming down. You hear the roar? I think it's relaxing. Funny how a drunk guard singing a really crude but funny song will keep you awake and annoyed but an even louder waterfall will help you sleep and be happy."

I nodded. "You went totally crazy," I suggested.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I began to crave the love making. It was like I would go crazy if we didn't do it but when I realized what that was going to mean sooner or later, getting pregnant I mean, I would go crazy over that too. I felt like a skooma addict. I couldn't get through the week without my fix and I hated myself for wanting you so bad. And then . . . " she sighed again and looked at me with a 'here it come's' gaze. "Riften."

I nodded. "I've not forgotten that day either," I said. "And I don't think I ever will."

"Yeah, it all came to a head then. You turn to me in front of Honorhall and I knew it was over. I knew I would have to tell you. I knew you really did love me and I was going to lose you forever. I was so damn angry it was over with. I was so damn angry I had already thrown it all away. And then suddenly, after we leave the temple and I've gotten all my anger and grief out, and I'm ready to say goodbye forever, You just toss away your Dragonborn and tell me it doesn't matter to you. And then I fess up that I might be pregnant and you just smile and tell me you're going to get me a meat pie for dinner and suddenly I realized that all that was standing before me was just Val, but not just Val . . . Valentine . . . but not just Valentine . . . My . . . Valentine. My very own Valentine forever. And that was when I was able to know, that I really loved you."

A single tear coursed down her cheek. She gave me one of those little trembly smiles while I wiped the tear off.

She sighed. "Of course there are days when I wish I didn't love you so damn much but I'm stuck with you now so I make the best of it."

I sighed back. "Poor baby."

"Yeah it sucks to be me." She snuggled up to me as I turned on my back. "Dispel that mage light . . . my love . . . And let's go to sleep in each other's arms."

We snuggled up and then she whispered . . . "and on my necklace? I want a big diamond in the middle."


	36. Chapter 36 - The Sweet Roll Trees

**The Sweet Roll Trees**

"So you and mommy camped by the waterfall between Morthal and Dragon's Bridge?" asked Freya.

"Yes," I replied. "We spent the night by that pretty waterfall and just watched the rainbows for a bit until it got too dark and then went to bed.

"Just watched the rainbows," mused Serana with a little smile.

"While you and Aurelian were just walking down the beaches," I replied with a winking grin. Serana blushed just a little.

"Well," suggested Sofia with her own cheeky grin. "There were the mud crabs I killed." She took another gulp of ale from her mug.

"Yes," giggled Serana. "We mustn't forget the mud crabs. They were on the beaches too in some places and I showed Aurelian a few of my tricks."

"You killed . . . mud crabs . . . on the beach?" asked Sofia with a bit of cheeky grin.

"The first couple of days yes," replied Serana looking perfectly serene and innocent. "After that, they were pretty extinct on those shores."

"What did Aurelian do?" I asked.

"He was thrilled, once he got over the ferocity of my attacks. I mean, it had only been a few weeks since I had been attacking things as a va . . . dventurer. And I never have lost the ability to drain things of their life essence. I discovered I kind of liked mud crab legs, and Aurelian knew that if you tossed them into boiling water right as soon as you killed them, they would taste really sweet, especially if you dipped them in butter. We pigged out those next two nights . . . when we were not making . . . um . . . camping."

"Camping was fun when we were newlywed," sighed Sofia. "Nice soft cushy mattress in that wagon. I miss it sometimes." She took another good solid gulp of ale from her cup.

"I don't like mud crabs," suggested Freya. "They look creepy. I'm glad mommy killed them. When I grow up, I'm going to learn the Kill Mud Crab spell and cast it EVERYwhere so they'll never be mud crabs ever again."

"Me too!" insisted Martin. "I'm going to kill mud crabs too but I'm going to use a big sword like . . . That yellow shiny one that daddy wears when he goes to the Palace."

"No you won't," insisted Freya. "I'll have killed them all first."

"Will not!"

"Will too!"

"Daddy can't tell his story if you are busy killing mud crabs," suggested Auntie Nibbles.

"True," I said. "Well we set out the next day and didn't stop at Morthal so we never found out what Auntie Nibbles friend there was doing." Serana gave us a knowing glance because I was using the term friend rather loosely. And we rode all the way down the road until we got to the Nightgate Inn and we decided to stop there for the night.

"Was mommy thirsty?" asked Martin. You could tell this was one of those little constants he had picked up on.

Sofia sighed and started on her fourth mug.

"Well of course," I replied. "Your mommy is a very thirsty Nord. She told me so herself when we first were married."

Serana stifled a smirk. She remembered just when Sofia had said that. We had been on the road to the docks to get on the boat to Castle Volkihar. Serana was just getting to know us then.

"So we stopped at the Nightgate Inn and your mommy had a Very Big Drink . . ." I began.

"You are such a . . ." suggested Sofia half in jest and half annoyed.

"And then we went swimming in the lake by the inn," I said. "And your mother said . . ."

* * *

"Damn it Valentine! Give me back my clothes!" she shouted as she dashed down the dock at me. Well when I say dash I am employing a bit of poetic license. A rapid drunken sway is a more accurate rendition. You see I was waving her dress in front of her as she pursued me. Now just so you understand. I had not removed that dress from her. She had 'gotten hot' and so removed it herself after the tenth bottle of ale she had downed. She had sauntered to the barkeep and ordered more rounds in what passed for her underwear while I sighed and stuffed her dress in the back of my pants waiting for her to want it back and thanking the Gods we were the only customers that night. Even so the barkeep, Hadring, after a few moments of this behavior became somewhat unnerved by Sofia's overall lack of modesty, and finally shouted at her to put her clothes back on. It dawned on her that she was practically naked and being she was very much in her late third month, her waist was not the thin tight thing it was 'supposed' to be. In fact it was showing a bit of a pooch. Accordingly she, much against her traditional behavior patterns, got it into her head that yes, she did want her dress back on. I had always suspected she was rather proud of her physique and accordingly had not undressed simply because she was in a hot drunk flush, but likewise was a bit of a show off. Needless to say I decided at this juncture to 'have my revenge' and waved the dress in front of her so that she chased after me. Now Sofia is not the fastest thing around when she's blotto. In fact, while she will claim she can walk a line, she admits it has to be a wobbly one.

So waving the dress in front of me I lured her out of the inn, off the porch and down the stairs between the fishing nets, down the dock and then just as she reached for the dress at the end of the pier. I took a step to the side, planted my foot firmly on her backside, and gave it a firm push.

Into the pond she went with a shriek. And there I was still holding her dress since she let go to brace herself when she realized she was falling.

I suppose I could at this juncture explain that I was actually trying to sober her up. But in reality? I just wanted to give her a good dunking. Besides, her underwear clings to her body so nicely when it's wet. And it's a bit see through as well.

"Don't worry Sofi dear!" I cried. "I'll save you."

And I jumped in after which of course annoyed her somewhat because she was already trying to come up with a scheme to pull me in and get soaked with her. So when I just up and jump in, it means that wouldn't have bugged me and where's the fun in that?

Of course, when that water hit me I had seriously second thoughts about having jumped in. We were in the winter lands of Skyrim and even though it was summer, the snow had not entirely melted here and likewise it was night. I spent a few seconds making yelps of serious discomfort and we worked our way out of the water and onto the ground. There we were dripping and Sofia was hopping up and down because first of all, she had ten mugs of ale in her, second of all, the ale and cold made her want to go to the privy really bad and third, she was barefoot and there was snow on the ground and fourth she was in her underwear and it was wet.

In the meantime I'm seriously shivering as well.

"I d-d-d-d-don't think swimming in ice-water is a guh-guh-guh-good idea," she said through her chattering teeth. "C-c-c-c-can I have my duh-duh-dress?"

I handed her the wet sopping dress since I had, being the sort of guy who tends to fail to think things through on occasion, been holding it when I jumped in.

She shrieked in frustration and half wobbled, half hopped, half staggered, and half wove to the privy and then two seconds later let loose a screaming cry of anguish, specifically "There's ice on the seat!"

I don't want to speculate too much how ice got on the seat of that privy, but given that drunk men don't have that good an aim . . . Needless to say I kept my mouth shut on that issue. But I figured at this juncture she had suffered enough for my amusement. And so I stood outside the privy and shivered a bit until she came out and I picked her up and carried her to the wagon. Then I put a pot of water on the stove and started to heat it up while I helped her out of her sopping underwear, strictly to take care of her of course . . . Yeah I know . . . And toweled her down most vigorously. And if there's one thing that will cover a host of offenses vis a vis Sofia, it's when you baby her. By the time she began to realize I had mocked her with her dress and pushed her into the water and then gotten that dress soaked I had given her a full body rub down, she was warm, toasty, kissed and caressed, and given a couple of honey nut treats to nibble on. Well when I say nibble I am being euphemistic. Sofia has never nibbled anything I can recall. Torn apart like two wolves fighting over the corpse of a deer is a more apt simile. But she is the woman I love and sometimes I like to pretend she's demure. Needless to say the rest of the night passed without any undue incident and rather pleasantly I might add. We slept in the wagon and she was cuddled up with me.

"About that necklace," she began.

"Yes?" I said.

"I wan . . ." and then she fell asleep.

* * *

"And then your mommy and I drove to the Mage's College in Winterhold," I continued. "She wanted to look some stuff up in books."

"She did?" asked Freya. "I've never seen mommy look at a book before."

Sofia cleared her throat while Serana expressed amusement. You really have to be careful what you do in front of your kids, they pick up all sorts of things you thought were not going to be noticed. As I have observed routinely in the bard's college lectures I give to the young fresh faces eager to learn the reasons for tales and songs, little scamps have big ears.

"Well your mommy was on a mission," I said. "She was going to find the River of Happy Juice and so naturally we get to the college and she says . . .

* * *

"Well off to the jolly orc and another one of his charming speeches," she sighed as we walked into the Arcanaeum. It had been the second time I had walked into the college and they gave me respectful nods since word had gotten around that I had saved them all. Not that they had that much evidence that I had since none of these mages were pushovers when it came to dragons raiding the college. Yes even the students were somewhat more proficient than you would have guessed. Nor had anyone here seen me in a fight, save that one moment with the two Nords in their underwear which J'zargo participated in. And given that J'zargo was the only member of the college to witness us in a fight, which had Serana with a nasty axe wound in her head and one of the Nords escaping unhurt, there was a reasonable amount of skepticism as to our competence. And add to that the fact that no one in the college took anything J'zargo said as the unvarnished truth.

But even so, the rumor mills had me greater than life striding across Tamriel like a colossus while Sofia glided like a goddess next to me, no doubt clad in shimmering gossamer raiment, quite unlike the rather ordinary green dress she was wearing for this visit. While no one directly confronted Sofia when we arrived, there were 'the looks' you could expect. You see, rumors have a very hard time overriding personal experience of having one's clothing vanish in the middle of your efforts to impress the guy you have a crush on. And a sudden jarring bang next to your ear as you are in the middle of trying to pour just a dollop of fire salts into a very volatile mixture can likewise give you a serious skepticism (once you have had sufficient healing spells cast upon you) when you are told that this is the girl who looked Alduin in the eye and defied him with her drawn sword.

Urag gro-Shub was there at his desk and he looked up at us.

"You again?" He queried of Sofia who began to open her mouth to say something. "No I don't have any copies of the Lusty Argonian Maid so don't ask," he continued giving her a very determined stare.

"I think you mentioned that the last time we were here," I recalled.

"Yes," he replied while Sofia just stood there and seemed to be struggling to not just unleash trouble since it was clear she needed his cooperation for this next step. "But when she was a student here, it didn't matter why she was in this Arcanaeum, she always started with, 'I'm here for your copy of The Lusty Argonian Maid.'"

"It was a running gag," she insisted.

"So since you won't be doing your running gag," he snorted. "You will be moving on I presume." The tone suggested a very strong bit of advice. "Or has the Dragonborn a reason to be here?"

"Actually," I said, somewhat nervously, since Urag always intimidated me a little. Given his ferocity, I couldn't help but suspect that the old orc strode through the sunset years with an air that seemed to say, 'Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For I am the meanest son of a bitch in the valley.' "Sofia is here for some research."

"I'm not in the mood for jokes," he said sternly. "Sofia does not do research. Even when I threaten her with dire consequences if she doesn't get the assignment done on time."

"It's true I swear," insisted Sofia. "I am here to read all the books you have that mention the Honeywine River."

"What?" he exclaimed almost standing up. He leaned over and looked right into her eyes. She of course stared right back. I swear nothing phases that girl when it comes to threatening gestures. He was torn, I could tell. On one hand, his experience told him she was not the sort to do anything she was told to do, she certainly was not the sort to sit and learn something, and likewise, there was a good chance she would pull some sort of rather outrageous stunt to shake things up the moment his back was turned. But on the other hand, her facial features were suggesting genuine desire to research.

He looked at me again. He no doubt sensed that he intimidated me. "You swear she's on the level?" He asked me.

I nodded. "She and I have a bet," I answered. "And she's determined to maintain her winning streak."

"Winning streak? Only a winning streak" mocked Sofia. "I'm undefeated."

"I'm going to take a chance," he growled. And then he put his face up as close to mine as my will would permit and he said, "And if this is just another of her annoying pranks, I don't care if she's your wife. While you might be Dragonborn and have defeated Alduin, I'll make sure your victory over me is more than a little painful."

"I've not scheduled a great deal of pain in my afternoon's activities," I replied with a somewhat unnerved smile. "So I will avoid any such confrontations."

"Good," He replied. He proceeded to go through the library and put close to three dozen books, mostly collections of folk lore, on the desk. "No drinking in the library," he added.

"But . . ." started Sofia.

"NO drinking," He reiterated.

"What about water?" queried Sofia.

Urag barked out a laugh. Even I was a bit surprised by that remark. Sofia was more than vocal in her opinion that water was poisonous.

"Fine!" she snapped and took the first book and sat down in the first chair she could find and began to read. I stood there for a bit waiting for her to start to fidget. And I waited some more. She turned pages and continued to read. I waited some more. And I began to realize that my legs were getting a bit fatigued. I turned and looked at Urag. He was simply staring, somewhat open mouthed, at Sofia's persistent research.

He then turned and looked at me. "What did you do to her?" He asked in a low voice. Had I not known better, I would have interpreted such a statement as accusatory.

I shook my head. "I told her she was wrong," I replied. "You know how she is. You can't tell her anything."

"I heard that," she grumbled. "And you are wrong. I will find it." She continued to read.

Eventually I sat down and thumbed through the books he had given to us. There were several stories of folk lore which I found fodder for potential songs I could write for the Bardic College. And time began to slip by. All the while Sofia continued to read.

"J'zargo is pleased to see his favorite study partner is back . . ." began J'zargo as he walked up to Sofia. She promptly held up her hand, opened palmed, as if to say, 'not now'. He paused for a second, surprised clearly, and then he stood and watched her for a few moments. Then he turned and quietly left. I continued my own reading of various tales, several which were of the Grey Fox which were most intriguing since they seemed to be centered on activities in Anvil and the Imperial City during the Oblivion Crises. Some time later I noticed J'zargo was back watching Sofia some more. Then he turned and quietly padded away. I'm not sure how much more time passed but I looked up and noticed there were close to a dozen students and scholars, all with J'zargo, watching Sofia.

After a moment, she looked up at them. "Make a sketching," she suggested. "It will last longer."

The Altmer Scholar, I think her name was Nirya, promptly pulled out a sketchbook and began to do just that.

The Dunmer student sighed, she had a rather cute face that suggested a sweet personality. "Okay J'zargo," she said. "I guess I owe you a dinner then."

The crowd eventually faded away. No doubt to start to pay off J'zargo's bets they had been fooled into making. Not that I blamed J'zargo. I would have fallen for his claim as well. Eventually Sofia noted her stomach was growling. She put down the books. "Let's eat," she said. "And I can continue this tomorrow."

"Really?" both Urag and I both said almost simultaneously.

"Do I hear a skeptic duet?" she asked.

We retired to the inn, known as The Frozen Hearth for a light supper and we retired to our wagon. I was feeling a little energetic so I began to get ready to head out into the ruins of the town and see if I couldn't scavenge up a few days worth of stove wood for cooking while Sofia changed into her warm woolen nightgown.

"I've made a decision," she announced before she crawled up into bed in order to retire early.

"What Sofi?" I asked.

"I've decided that there will be thirteen amethysts with twelve sapphires between them, and then I'll hang the diamond off the center amethyst."


	37. Chapter 37 - The Honeyed Mead Stream

**With A Golden River of Honeyed Mead**

"So mommy read books for two WHOLE days?" exclaimed Freya.

"Two whole days," I replied. "That's after the part of the day when we got to the college."

"And the whole college was impressed?" teased Serana.

"I was on a mission!" exclaimed Sofia. "I had reasons for what I did."

"Indeed," I said, I'll admit with a bit of rubbing it in as it were. "No one at the college had ever seen your mommy work so hard for anything."

"You really must love sleeping on the couch," suggested Sofia with a bit of snark in her glance.

"I like it when daddy sleeps on the couch," proclaimed Freya. "He lets me snuggle with him and he tells me that I'm the only one who loves him!"

"He does does he?" exclaimed Serana pretending to be amazed. "It must be true then!"

"You're not as strong as you used to be, Auntie Nibbles," suggested Sofia with a cheeky grin.

"I can still kick," suggested Serana.

"Not as good as me," replied Sofia.

"And bite," mused Serana. "And no Sofi dear, you don't do that as good as me."

"Ooooo," replied Sofia rapidly shaking her head at Serana. She looked at her empty mug and noted there were three empties by her while Serana and I still had our firsts. "Everyone's had their seconds I see," she mused. "Time to pour another round." And she took the three empties back to the barrel in the kitchen and filled them up.

"Mommy's thirsty," observed Martin very innocently.

"Were you ever as thirsty as mommy is Auntie?" asked Freya.

Serana sighed. "Yes, once upon a time, I was even thirstier."

"Really? Mommy gets silly after a while, did you?" continued Freya.

"No," replied Serana. "I got scary." She looked down at Martin and Freya with that bittersweet expression she's had over the years. "And when I got scary, I couldn't hug two little sweethearts like I can now." And she gave both my children another hug and nibble.

And if you think she's sentimental with my kids, you should see her with hers . . . Unless they are misbehaving. Then watch out. Lets just say you can almost see her teeth show a little fang and those blue eyes take on a little glowing red.

"You've never been scary," suggested Martin. "You're the bestest auntie EVER!"

He's the charmer you know. Takes after me naturally. Serana was just beaming. Like all women, she eats flattery by the ladle full. In the meantime, Sofia had brought back the three mugs filled with cold clean ale. She grabbed one and motioned to the other two. "Help yourselves," she suggested. I suppressed a comment on the tip of my tongue.

"Well," I continued. "Sure enough in the late afternoon, your mother finished the last of the books, then checked her notes and went back to one of the books she had read the day before, opened it up to a certain page and she said ever so sweetly . . .

* * *

"Here it is, the account of a mage who found it and drank from the river himself!" she crowed. "Feel free to admit defeat Valentine. Given that it's me I doubt anyone will think less of you. No one has ever really had a chance against me."

I noted the paragraph on the page. Read it. Noted what it said. I then turned to face Urag. "Urag?" I queried. "Would you turn you back to me for a moment. My wife needs a sharp swat upon her backside and it's inappropriate to do that in front of other folks."

He roared with laughter. "In my tribe, it's a balled fist to the side of the head and we don't care who we do it in front of."

"Well in that case . . ."

"Valentine don't you dare (smack!) OW!"

I have often wondered why she never physically retaliates when I swat her on her tush. I presume its for the same reason why I don't retaliate when she kicks me either in the ankle or up'side the head. Each of us seems to have come to the understanding that we say things to the other that merit such physical retaliation. Of course the physical whacks we deliver to each other teach us nothing about good polity in our speech. Funny how that works.

"You're just a poor sport!" she accused.

"Nonsense," I replied. "First of all, an account by a mage who claims that another mage found the river does not demonstrate that it exists. It merely demonstrates a greater potential of existence."

"Wait, what?"

"What I mean girl, is that you have clearly scored a point in your favor, but the game is not done yet."

"You mean you still think you can win?" she exclaimed with a rather surprised and 'I can't believe you still hold out hope' smile.

"Indeed," I replied. "For read the paragraph carefully. Like this." And I proceeded to read the entire thing . . .

_Aiden always was an idiot, but never as much as when he came back to Whiterun claiming to have found the Vale of the Honeywine River. The idea that there was a river of Mead was hard enough to swallow, though there have been stranger things found. But for it to flow out of the western mountains of the Reach was even harder. How did the Nords manage to not find something they would fight wars over? I pointed this out to him but he merely laughed and replied there were other things at work. And he insisted he had drawn a map in his journal so he could find it again. This I also suspected and I pointed out that if it was such a discovery, why he had not taken the time to say, fill a bottle? Again he said other powers were involved and the whole thing was simply hush hush and all that. I didn't pay any more attention to it although I perhaps should have investigated a bit more fully when he was found killed in the street outside the Bannered Mare, stinking of ale and sweat, a few weeks after we had talked about it. This was passing strange since he was not that great a drinker._

"It is not the direct source you are reading, it is a report by one who got his information second hand. The man he is citing, this Aiden, could have been pulling his leg," I observed.

"But he says there's a journal," she retorted.

"And the girl scores again," I replied with a grin.

"Well of course," she replied. She was, on some level eating my sportsmanship up. I mean I remained entirely confidant that the river would not be found. After all, the source likewise made the same common sense observation about the Nords that I had. "So if we find the journal, then we have a map don't we?"

"Indeed we do," I replied. "If such a journal exits and if that journal does have a drawn map and if that map happens to be genuine, then you have every reason to believe that there just might be . . ."

"Might be? It's there Valentine, and I'm going to show it to you, dunk your head in it, and lick the dribbles that come out of your ear afterwards . . ."

"Even with all my ear wax issues?"

"Um I mean . . ." she paused. "I think I'll just stop talking now." She seemed to mull over things for a moment. "Go and get the wagon ready to ride out tomorrow first thing for Whiterun," she declared. "I'm going to say 'Hi' to J'zargo. And play him for a few drinks. He won some bets I'm thinking since I never studied at the college before, and I can probably convince him that he owes me."

"Good luck," I said. "And keep the explosions at a minimum?"

She looked somewhat irritatedly at me, not because she felt falsely accused, but because she realized I was on to her. Even so, it was only a couple of hours later, while I was having a quick dinner in The Frozen Hearth Inn, that she came in and plopped down on the chair across the table from me.

"No drinks?" I suggested.

"Oh we had a couple," she replied "But he knows me too well so I wasn't able to get much out of him and, well . . ." she looked at me kind of funny like. "It's just not the same as it was last year. He's gotten way better at magic and he's getting really clever. And, I suddenly realized I was missing you." She mused for a moment, motioned the bar keep for an ale, motioned to him that I was paying, and then looked back at me. "The college was then," she concluded. "I was someone different. And last year, I hadn't really understood that things were changing for me. And you are now." The barkeep brought her the ale, and she took a couple of pulls from the bottle. "I've seen something in you on this trip I've never seen in a guy before. I've never seen in anyone before."

"What's that?" I asked.

"You're determined to win this bet," she said. "I can tell. But if you lose, you won't care." She looked at me. "You'll be just as happy if I win it as if you win it. And that's something I've never seen before." She lifted the bottle and looked at the amber contents within and seemed to mull over them. "I always thought I liked the wagon because it had a softy cushy mattress. There was mead in the boot, I was warm each night. I didn't have to walk. Seri was there to chat with. You were there to make love to. And I was adventuring. But now?" She looked at me. "It's not that the wagon isn't all those things. It's because you were there that those things were so fun. It's because Seri was there that things were so fun. It was us with the wagon. Not just the wagon. And now, it's fun because it's you and me . . . together."

For a moment, she just looked into my eyes from across the table, and I looked back into hers. There was a slight smile which played across her features. Then she said, "And if I get any more sentimental I'm going to have to start a bar brawl so I'm going to wagon now and I'll be in bed when you get there. Feel free to read between the lines."

I found that an interesting metaphor, not quite sure what it meant. But I finished dinner. Got back to the wagon, did a double check on all the hidden compartments and discovered that apparently she had forgotten the locations of all of them. Either that or she was showing a level of restraint which defied all Sofiaisms which I was familiar with. Given how quickly she forgot things when she got drunk, I presumed it had nothing to do with a new found virtue on her part. Then I went inside. The lights were all off and there was a gentle breathing coming from behind the bed curtain. So I got ready for bed as gently as I could and worked my way slowly into the bed so as to not disturb her.

Then I discovered she had gone to bed naked. And I read between the lines and woke her up to do something about it. I think I need elaborate no further.

The next morning we were up and headed out. I sent a message to Urag thanking him for the use of the Arcanaeum. But otherwise, we rolled down the road heading for Whiterun.

"You've heard what happened to Heimskr don't you?" I suggested as we rolled south.

"Heimskr? You mean run on the mouth won't shut up listen to my monotone and repetitive shouting Heimskr?"

"The same," I said with a grin.

"Oh?" replied Sofia. She suspected what was about to happen, as she recognized the sort of grin I had.

"He was invited over to the Battleborns for dinner? And in the middle of one of his sermons on the love of mighty Talos at the dinner table he choked on a chicken bone and died."

"Was this accidental or do we need to buy them drinks when we get to Whiterun?"

"Entirely unanticipated I assure you. So there is no need to buy them drinks. They were in a panic because they were certain that the Greymanes would use this against them and so they waited until after night fall and then very late, they carried his corpse to the shrine of Talos and carefully sat him by it so it would seem like he was just sleeping by the shrine."

"But Valentine," observed Sofia. "The next morning everyone comes along and notices he's not saying anything?"

"Good point," I replied. "But it didn't happen that way because a couple of hours before sunrise, Ysolda was gathering up the good lavender and she swung her basket around and knocked him off the shrine and his head hit the ground with an audible whack and she was convinced she had killed him."

"So now she's in a panic?"

"Well of course. She's hoping to buy the inn and naturally she can't have that on her record so she ran down to the Drunken Huntsman and pays Jenassa off to help her move the body behind the Mead Hall of Jorrvaskr. For you see, while a friend will help you move, it takes a true friend to help you move a body and she didn't have any of those. Well of course they don't have much time before things start to get active in the town as sunrise is rapidly approaching so all they can do is carry his corpse around to the back and set him up by the doors so it looks like he's just leaning there against the door frame."

"Why do I expect that this isn't over with yet?" she asked.

"Probably because you know how Vilkas and Farkas can drink late into the night and then, still in their cups, slam those doors open in such a fashion that they bounce off of Heimskr and he collapses onto the ground and now those two are persuaded that they are the one's who killed him. Now you recall that true friends will help you move a body? Well of course those two go straight to Aela and Skor who agree that it would be very bad publicity for the Companions to be responsible for the death of Heimskr, so they hid his body under the Skyforge until that evening and then they lowered him down off the wall and carried him to Chillfurrow farm and buried him under a haystack."

"You mean Nazeem becomes convinced he's killed Heimskr?" queried Sofia.

"Indeed, for Nazeem, in order to prove his worth as farmer, decides to get some hay for his horse, sticks his pitchfork into the hay and throws Heimskr out with the hay and naturally since he's got a pitchfork, he's persuaded he's the one who killed Heimskr. And you can't have that . . ."

"Why not? Personally I think Nazeem deserves to be hung for murder, even if he didn't do it."

"No one is arguing that," I replied. "Anyway Nazeem is an arrogant snot who can't for one moment imagine he might have a criminal record for killing one of the most well known, if not necessary popular Heimskr. So being the sort who is obsessed with his reputation in Dragonsreach, he buries the body under a cartload of vegetables and then when the Khajiit Caravan arrives a day later, slips Heimskr into their carpet inventory knowing that everyone will immediately presume that it was the Khajiits who killed him."

"Something tells me this isn't quite over with yet," mused Sofia, clearly amused by the comedy of errors I was spinning.

"Indeed, for this wasn't any Khajiit caravan, this was Ri'saad's caravan and he has more than a few fellow caravaners who have had misunderstandings with the law in the past and accordingly know how to think cool in such a situation. So no sooner do the Khajiit find the corpse in their carpets than they know of a way to make certain that they won't be pinned with the murder. They slip over to the stables just after closing time and put Heimskr on one of the horses, having propped him up prior, and slap the horse on the hind end and it takes off. Naturally they start shouting and yelling that Heimskr is stealing a horse and everyone chases after him. And you can't outrun a horse. So off Heimskr went, riding a black horse, and the last anyone saw of him was a week later in the reach, riding side by side with the headless ghost. Since then, no one has seen him."

Sofia stood up, pulled a bottle of mead out of the boot and sat back down again and leaned up against me.

"That was a keeper, Valentine."

"Think the court will like it?"

"Depends on the court," mused Sofia. "Definitely the Blue Palace. Of course given how much Jarl Elisif likes flirting with death by the looks she gives you coupled with the giggles she has when you tell a story, it could be half as funny and she'd still like it."

"Did I ever tell you how much I love it when you get jealous?"

"So you claim," she replied. "But I haven't forgotten how you flirted with Camilla back in Riverwood."

"Hey that was only to get you to be honest about the fact that you happened to really be attracted to me. By stoking the jealousy of yours I was hoping you would respond by deepening our relationship."

"Right," she said very slowly.

"It's true I swear," I continued. "I know you don't believe it but the fact is Sofi dearest, from the moment I laid eyes upon you on that pile of hay I was entirely smitten and everything until then has been to get you to fall even more deeply in love with me. And naturally being you are Sofia, you have been fighting me every step of the way."

She just gave me a look and took another swig out of her mead bottle. I drove on in silence. She looked at me further. The wagon rolled on down the cobblestone road past Fort Kastav. The blue bear banner still fluttered over the tower, and there was more stonework in the walls where wood had once provided the only wall.

"You were saying how you had been smitten by me from the moment you saw me asleep in the hay," she suggested.

Sofia doesn't fish for a compliment with a little fishing pole, she fishes with a trebuchet. And so I spent the next half an hour describing her beauty and how it had kept me madly in love with her all this time. I didn't add the typical lines which referenced my love for her in spite of the lies, drunkenness, brawling, public nudity, false promises to sleep with other guys, and the general trouble making that she delighted in partaking. As a Bard it was in my interests to come up with new and interesting ways to praise the beauty of the beloved. And if I could come up with ways to praise the beauty and character of Sofia, and make it sound convincing, well then praising the beauty and character of anyone was going to be a snap. Even Maven Blackbriar, or I should say, especially Maven Blackbriar who was now Jarl of Riften, much to my annoyance. Of course I really did think she was beautiful (Sofia, not Maven. Maven is an ugly old schemer who's ancestry includes snakes, spiders, hag ravens, and daedra in equal measure). But by this point I had gotten used to her looks (Sofia, not Maven of course. You can never get used to Maven's looks.). They were not that enchanting misty faire beauty which they had been when I first had met her and so desperately wanted to make her mine. Don't get me wrong, she hadn't gotten uglier (Unlike Maven who's ugliness doubled if not trebled the moment she ascended to the Jarldom of Riften), not by a long shot, but she was no longer the unapproachable goddess which I dared not so much as gaze upon. She was just your ordinary Sofia. And in one sense, she was prettier because of it. Because now I could place my hands upon that face and give it a gentle caress. And likewise, I could lift that face to my lips and place a sweet lingering kiss upon it. And while she was still Sofia, she remained also a woman who knew I loved her and accordingly, enjoyed the attention.

We rode into Whiterun a few moments after sunset and pulled up to Breezehome where Lydia quickly started making the home presentable to us. Then Sofia and I settled down for the night.

"About that necklace," she said as she snuggled up to me. "I want the two rubies hanging off the two sapphires which are on either side of the diamond."


	38. Chapter 38 - The Sweet Grass Banks

**The Sweet Grass Banks by the River**

"So you got to Whiterun," mused Serana. "How long where you there?"

"Well we started looking for clues about this Mage Aiden the next day in the Halls of the Dead where we found that he had not been buried there at all, but some place near Riverwood. Sofia accordingly wanted to run off immediately but Jarl Balgruuf sent his regards and accordingly I needed to go up to Dragonsreach to pay a social call since I was a property owner in the town. Likewise Lydia needed to catch me up on the state of our investments. So Sofia headed up the Riverwood in the wagon while I figured I would catch up with her on foot once I got a message from her."

"So mommy sent you a letter?" asked Freya. "And did she put in mushy stuff?"

"Well of course," I replied winking at Sofia who snorted half amused and finished her fourth mug of ale and reached for the fifth. "It was a most loving letter reminding me how much she missed me when she wasn't with me and a most dashing courier brought it and he said to me . . .

* * *

"You're kinda fuzzy," suggested Embry swaying somewhat dangerously in front of me. "What's wrong with you?"

"Embry," I remarked. "What are you doing here in Whiterun?"

"Your wife sent me with a message," he suggested handing me something which might have at one time been a letter. "And fortified me with a lot of mead before hand."

"And where did she send this message from?" I asked. For I had noted the message was more than a little torn, stained, and muddy.

"Um," he suggested. He tried to think, paused, fell down on the ground, rolled over on his back, looked up at me and said, "What's the name of the town that I live in between here and Helgen?"

"Riverwood?" I suggested.

"Yeah," he said. "I kind of dropped it a couple of times on the road . . . and cow pasture . . . and pig sty. But I cleaned it up. Should be okay now." And he promptly fell asleep.

I opened up the letter and began to read . . .

_To my (seriously rude looking stain here)_

_Got to Riverwood and talked with that (obscured by some foul smelling dirt) hor (more foul smelling smears) told me about how he knew something about (more mud) and I said, "Where can I f (seriously obscured for a bit) ck? It should be (messy bit of muck here) quick. I'm running out of (dark splotch) Org (another slightly larger dark splotch) give me any more (smear)_

_Sofia_

I folded up the paper and sighed and shook my head.

Incidentally, I did find out what she had written eventually when I caught up with her and she explained it. The letter, before Embry had dropped it among the various farming livestock had read like this . . .

_To my second most favorite person, the first should be pretty obvious,_

_Got to Riverwood and talked with that brother of Camilla, who still thinks she's prettier than me, the horker. He told me about how he knew something about Aiden's tomb and I said, "Where can I find it?" He informed me that it was south of Riverwood but there was supposed to be a gang of brigands guarding the entrance. Isn't that just our luck? It should be fun. Get here quick. I'm running out of coin and Orgnar won't give me any more credit._

_Sofia_

I looked at the sky and the color of daylight left suggested that I had maybe an hour and a half left of sunlight and perhaps another hour of diminishing twilight afterwards. I headed straight out for Riverwood and was able to reach it by foot in about four hours, after dark. There wasn't anything on the road to bother me so I walked into the Sleeping Giant still rather clean and fresh feeling. I let my eyes get used to the dim candle light for a moment and then scanned the place. Sven was playing his lute and eyeing me suspiciously. Not that I blamed him given events of the summer before. Of course he had no direct evidence Sofia and I had been the reason why his relationship with Camilla had appeared to be permanently soured. But he could not entirely figure out how Faendal had likewise lost out. Faendal was likewise in the bar, in a dark corner also looking somewhat suspiciously at me. Lucan and Camilla were there, as well as Alvor and Sigrid. Then I spied Hod and Gerdur and smiled at them. I had never forgotten how they had helped me get back on my feet after Helgen. As for them, they had bragging rights that the Dragonborn had slept in their guest bed. Then I found my Sofia.

She was at the table by the Alchemy table, her back to the door, her head down on upon the table, apparently passed out. I walked up to Orgnar and greeted him. And while I had not yet gotten a full translation of the letter that Sofia had sent me, I knew by instinct to ask the question, "How much do I owe?"

"You ready?" he asked.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, now I am."

"472 Septims."

I coughed. "How'd she do it?"

"She drank the Black Briar Reserve. Bought all of that. Then she drank the Honningbrew Reserve. Then she drank the regular Black Briar. Then she drank the regular Honningbrew . . ." he seemed to think it out. "In two days, forty-seven bottles."

"What did she eat?"

"She drank the stout ale."

"Never mind," I sighed. "I'll be back in a moment. I don't carry that sort of coin on me."

He nodded while I went and found the wagon, and the two horses. One of the secret hatches had been emptied of bottles since we had left Solitude and accordingly I had moved most of the travel coin from the wagon strong box into that compartment as a way of making sure that thieves would not be able to run off with all our coin should they break into the wagon while we were somewhere else. So most of the coin was there and not in the strong box. Sofia had no doubt, given she was thinking of it as her coin, done what she could to avoid paying him during the two nights she had spent here.

I returned to the inn and passed the coin off to Orgnar who was pleased to receive full payment. Then I walked over to where Sofia was still snoozing on the table and helped her get up and support her back to the wagon. She was mostly leaning on me and I was mostly helping her along. She was very groggy and likewise not entirely aware of her surroundings.

"You're a funny looking pretty girl but you're also kind of ugly and attractive at the same time," she slurred.

"It's me, Sofi," I said. "Valentine?"

"Oh Valentine?" she said looking up at me still in that sleepy slurred yet more loud that I wished tone. "Is there something hard in your pocket? I felt it when you brushed against me."

"It's just the pocket change," I said, thinking quickly given that everyone in the damn room could hear her and had turned to observe the event.

I carried her past Lucan and Camilla and gave them a glance and shook my head.

"Your wife has been most entertaining these past two nights," suggested Camilla. How to describe her facial expressions and tone of voice. There was so much packed into it. There was the pointed suggestion that I had married a drunken slut. Add to that the observation that she was just as pretty, if not prettier than Sofia. And then the opinion that she would have been a far better choice. And finally, the confirmation that she had been, in fact still was, quite amenable to the idea. What could I say to that? She had a very good point.

"It was all in the timing girl," I replied to her. "Only the timing."

It was a nice thing to say to Camilla, and she deserved a few compliments on occasion. But she was a shopkeeper and I was an adventurer and it would not have been the sort of marriage I had with Sofia by a long shot. And while I was irritated with Sofia, and not just a little irritated, when I got her back outside and the moonlight hit her face, for one brief instant, I was again looking at that goddess laying on the hay pile in the Whiterun stables.

"It's all in the timing my beautiful Sofi," I sighed. "As Dibella and Mara would know, it's all in the timing."

It was into the wagon, where I plopped her down on the side benches, and got her out of her clothing and then up into the bed where she snuggled under the disheveled pile of what had been, when I had given her the wagon, a nicely made and tight bed. Needless to say, I did not go to bed immediately. What I did was make a hangover remedy and put it aside for the morning when she began her hangover howl.

So once the wolves had been settled down the next morning, meaning of course my dearest Sofi, we cleaned up the wagon, or rather I did, after I made her breakfast. And getting into our adventure gear we set out working our way down the southeast side of the White River, north of Riverwood.

"Just look at that stunning view," sighed Sofia about a half an hour into our jaunt.

I turned to see where she was looking and found she was looking at me. I raised an eyebrow.

"What?" she said. "I wasn't looking at you . . ." She persisted with that guilty expression on her face I had learned to read so well. "I was looking at . . ."

"Yes?" I suggested.

"Okay," She sighed. "I was looking at you."

"It's okay to think I'm good looking Sofia," I said.

"You think I think otherwise?" she quipped. "Well think again!"

"So why would you be embarrassed?" I asked. "Why do you keep trying to pretend that you are not attracted to me. That you have been attracted to me since you first laid eyes on me in that cart when I was knocked senseless?" I took her in my arms and looked into those somewhat bloodshot I'll confess, big blue eyes of hers though the visor opening in the helmet. It was a bit of a challenge to hold her since we were both in the dragon scale and there was not a few small horns sticking out of the sets.

"I just can't resist you when you are in tight fitting armor, okay?" she insisted.

"Really?" I asked. "Is that it? It's not that tight you know. Outside of the fact that I put a few pounds on since last year."

She looked down for a second. I reached into the visor opening of her helmet and lifted her chin back up so that the squishy might be triggered in that little spot of her heart. She sighed.

"It's just that . . . You really look like the legendary Dragonborn in that armor," she continued. There was a brief pause before she observed, "It's kind of gross that it's made out of dragon skin and scale. But it does look good and . . ."

"You're wearing a set too Sofi," I observed.

"Well yeah but . . ." she stammered. "It's me, I know who I am, and you are well . . . you . . . and."

"Girl? Are you letting 'the legend' get in the way of us again?"

She looked at me for a moment and then sighed out a long "Yeah I guess."

I smiled, and noticing an opening between two boulders which led to a somewhat small but still deep cleft in the mountain cliff side, I kind of nudged her into it so that we no longer could see the road, and then I gently lifted her helmet off, and then removed mine, and then gave her a very soft and sweet and lingering kiss.

"You are putting very inappropriate thoughts into my head right now," she warned. "You should probably stop before there's an accident."

"Inappropriate?" I chuckled. "We're married."

"I mean we're adventuring right now and we have a tomb we need to check out and this isn't the time and place and I still haven't entirely gotten over my hangover and it's outside and the road by the river is just a few yards away on the other side and you know I like a bed and you think I don't notice that you've been unfastening my armor this whole time and damn it Valentine! It took me forever to get this on and you've . . . How'd you get it off me so fast? Damn it how is it that I was your first and you can still be so damn good at this?"

Needless to say, it was a bit longer to get to the tomb than one might have anticipated. Since the entrance was your basic cave stuck in the clefts of the mountains, we were able to slip up quietly and do a careful reconnaissance of the opening before we began to close in.

"I hope you have a backup plan if we get caught," she suggested as we peered cautiously over the boulders, watching the four bandits standing outside the cave entrance busy cooking and arguing with each other over who was stealing from who. The usual bandit sorts of conversations. I was of course quite used to the fact that she could not keep her mouth shut when we were sneaking. In fact, I had gotten a bit sloppy myself, so I turned to her and whispered, "of course Sofi, I've got it all under control," and then reached over and gave her shoulder a little affectionate assurance squeeze.

"I don't think you're taking this stealth thing seriously at all," she suggested.

"Stand up, double fisted fireball, and close for the kill?" I proposed.

"I'm easy," she replied. "Wait! No! I mean I think it will work . . ." she sighed.

"Okay," I said with a bit of a grin. "Let's do it then."

The fireballs blew things right open, killing one of the brigands immediately, and we dashed in and let into them with dragon bone swords and fire bolts.

"The bite of a flea," mocked one of the brigands facing me. Three seconds later his head flew off and I was down to one.

"The only way you will be keeping me warm at night? " mocked Sofia to the Khajiit she was fighting. "Is as a fur blanket." He hissed and spit at her and then his face received one of the legendary Sofia ice bolts and he was down. The last brigand made a run for it and we let him go.

I looked at Sofia and grinned at her. She grinned back. It was kind of fun being good enough that we could win such conflicts easily. I could still remember when this would have been a seriously dangerous challenge for me.

"I will now do the customary Skyrim victory dance," I announced. I then proceeded to flex my muscles.

"You are such a show off," she snarked.

"Learned it from you," I shot back with a grin.

"Yeah Ok," she replied. "But it's important for me to look superior. If I didn't the people would only have the Gods to admire."

"That's my darling Sofia," I replied. "Nobly taking upon herself the role of Goddess upon Tamriel so that the little people will have someone to admire. Such sacrifice."

"You know," mused Sofia quietly. "Last year at this time, when we were first adventuring together, back when Bleak Falls Barrow was what I would call a challenge, you would say things like that and I would wonder if you were not being just a little sarcastic underneath the flowery language."

"And?"

"Now I know for certain," she said. And then she kicked me in the ankle.

And so with a somewhat limp in my stealthy slink, we worked our way into the cave. The first part was a tunnel which opened up into a single room which had been the eating area for another group of the brigands. There were five there and one of them was an orc with a two handed dweemer blade that staggered me every time I failed to time my shield bashes rightly. But the armor held and while I was pretty much wrapped up in that orc during the entire fight, the other four were typical hide bound iron sword wielding sorts whom Sofia dispatched between bouts of scratching her um . . . never mind.

Then we rounded the corner and met the boss in his steel plated armor and flaming sky-forged steel blade. Sofia immediately let loose with her ice bolts which bounced off of him telling me that the very high quality armor was also enchanted. Then I received the first blow from his blade on my shield and I was back a few feet and so rattled I was almost convinced he had actually hit my head. He raised his blade again and I was bringing my shield up when my lovely Sofia suggested that he was making a crucial error of judgement.

"What makes you think you're any different to the hundreds of others like you I have killed?" she queried.

That caused him to look briefly to the side and I was able to bring my blade into his helmet which staggered him. The battle now balanced he began to swing at me again and I was working like a dog keeping his blade blocked with my shield. Sofia in the mean time kept swinging from one side to the other applying kicks and fire bolts and the occasional whack with her dragon bone blade.

Our blades were enchanted so that there was a brief chance he would be paralyzed but again, he was proving very resistant to these sorts of things.

"You seem to be paying an awful lot of attention to me," I observed. He had paused and I had paused and Sofia was to my left behind me doing what she could to do assess.

"You're the one I want to kill," he snarled. "I then play with her, and she gets to live."

"Don't let my looks fool you," she suggested. "Looks can be deceiving."

He swung a couple of more times and I blocked him with my shield and riposted. He deflected them handily then turned at took a quick swipe at Sofia who handily ducked back out of the way. We continued to circle each other warily while a few of Sofia's electrical attacks likewise had no impact at all.

"You've covered all the bases," I mused keeping an eye on where his eyes were looking. That was the clue to where he would attack next.

"You have a nice little one," he said. "The prettiest I've seen in a while. She's going to be a lot of fun to tie down to my bed."

I knew I did not dare get angry. I would do something rash and he was no doubt waiting for that. But likewise I was terrified he would goad Sofia into doing something rash.

"Well at least you'll die with a nice view then," she teased.

"You're mine, minx!" he cried, looking at Sofia, and once again he slammed into me. It turned out that her taunts had been far more successful at goading him than his had at goading us. But I did not have the time or leisure to muse upon this irony. For the next few seconds, though it seemed like forever while it was happening, he drove down on me with that blade of his while my shield blocked and I struck with my sword to keep his attacks blunted. I was finding that I was getting tired fast. But almost before my energy was entirely spent and I was beginning to wonder how I would be able to quaff a stamina potion and live to tell of it, he took on an expression of shock, and tumbled forward while I stepped to the side. As he fell I saw Sofia pull back a bloody blade.

"Looks like he was stiff before he was fully dead," she observed. "Or at least part of him was."

I looked down at that corpse. "It's not often that I don't regret killing someone," I mused.

"The feeling's mutual," she replied. "He made my skin crawl. I was really looking forward to seeing his corpse."

We proceeded to scan the room, which was well lit with candles, the sort that caves all through Skyrim are filled with that never seem to go out or burn down. But shortly into the search, with nothing but stone walls Sofia began to get not just a little agitated.

"This is supposed to be a tomb!" she snapped. She began slapping the stone sides in frustration. "Where's the tomb?"

"Just a second Sofia," I said. I did a quick scan and then cast clairvoyance. The magic mists streamed through one of the walls. "I thought so," I continued. "There's a secret door here somewhere."

She looked at me with such a soft and amazed expression. "Are you sure you want to win this bet?" she asked quietly.

"Sofi? Did I not say that I was going to give you the most romantic honeymoon a girl could ask for? Of course I'm going to do this right. It doesn't matter remember? It doesn't exist. I don't have to sabotage anything."

I started poking around the general furniture and debris of that brigand's 'headquarters' and sure enough, once we moved the bed back, behind a back of old weapons he had stashed there not knowing what do to with them, there was a small handle.

I stood up and pointed it out to her. "Wanna pull it?" I asked.

Then she tackled me, threw me on that bed, and yanked my helmet off, then tossed hers and proceeded to inflict some serious Sofia style kissing upon my poor benighted lips.

"Didn't we just . . ."

"Shut up Valentine and show me again how you can get my armor off so fast."

"Are you sure you want . . ."

"Damn it! Didn't you hear me the first time? I said shut up and rip that armor off me now!"

"Yes, dear."


	39. Chapter 39 - The White Sugar Flowers

**The Bright White Sugar Flowers**

"So you and mommy took a nap after you fought the bad chief?" asked Martin.

"Yes," I replied. "Fighting is very hard work and we were very tired, but especially your mommy."

Sofia had a very smug grin and her eyes twinkled over her fifth mug of ale while Serana just gently chuckled and shook her head.

"But what was behind the secret door?" asked Freya. "It wasn't more monsters was it?"

"Horrible monsters!" I exclaimed raising my hands over my head while my little Freya gasped and raised her hands to her mouth. "Big skeletons and draugr but your mommy was not afraid at all for she said . . .

* * *

"I'm sorry but Necrophilia just isn't my thing," she exclaimed as the draugr and skeletons closed in. I sheathed my sword and cupped my right hand for undead repulsion magic and began to send off the bolts that caused the Draugr to turn and run while Sofia happily hacked on their fleeing corpses, staying by me. A skeleton approached with an ancient two handed axe.

"Hey bonehead!" she taunted. "Come and get me."

The Skeleton, being mindless undead, persisted in coming for me. I simply raised my shield and smacked him as he tried to take a swing and then Sofia kicked his legs out from under him. And I'm being most literal. The leg bone flew away and suddenly bereft of half his support, he fell sideways and scattered upon the floor. It's kind of fun watching her do that. The skeleton has no way of dealing with the fact that his legs propel him with a very weak magic which is easy to defuse.

My repulsion spells would wear off, the draugr would return, I'd cast the spells again, they would turn and run while Sofia would hack away and incinerate with a little grin on her face.

"Rest in peace?" she quipped. "I'll see that you rest in pieces!"

It took us about fifteen minutes to go through all those draugr and skeletons. It had been rather tiring work, but likewise, there was something so empowering about facing off all that ancient sharp and steel weaponry and be able to joke and laugh while we were destroying our foes.

"That was really intense," mused Sofia. "I don't think I have ever seen so many draugr come out of nowhere and just totally outnumber us. Anyway I think we have earned ourselves some mead." She cast a meaningful glance at my backpack.

"Well I think your savage molestation of my poor little body back there was way more intense," I offered. "And Sofi, you should remember that mead comes after the dungeon is cleared, not before."

"Yeah but that was back when these guys might have scratched us up a bit before we killed them, back when we were wearing hide and fur bras. Well I was. If you had started wearing fur bras I would have been . . . Well now I'm stuck . . . I don't know if I would have laughed or gotten creeped out . . . and thought steel swords were the cutting edge . . . Get it? Cutting Edge?" she giggled.

I smiled. "Be a good girl and I'll find a bottle of Black Briar Reserve, after the dungeon," I replied.

"I hate it when you're stubborn and I can't manipulate you like I used to," she sighed.

"Sucks to be you," I suggested.

She sighed for a second. "Now you've made me miss Seri," she said.

"Yeah," I exhaled. "I'd say 'sucks to be you' to her and she'd say . . ."

And we both said it in stereo "When Ever I Can." and grinned to each other.

We proceeded down a hallway and there it was, a single round room with what appeared to be a single skeleton resting within a single alcove. He had been dressed once upon a time in a nice robe which was nearly entirely rotted but within his hands was a small journal. Sofia, being the sort of girl who likes to rub your nose in something gave me her "I win . . . again" grin and sauntered over there with just a little wiggle in her hips, which really turns me on in spite of the fact that she's somewhat being a mocker when she does that, and she pulled open the journal and began to read it. I sat down in the tomb and watched her.

She was at the journal for nearly an hour before she began to feel hungry. She looked up at me and sighed.

"No map yet," she sighed. "He keeps talking about a drunken master which makes no sense to me. I mean I freely admit I've mastered the art of getting drunk, but this guy is taking it way to seriously for me to think he's talking about a person who has turned getting drunk into an art form. Especially since he keeps talking about the physics of brawling."

I mused for a moment. "Well what do you say we get back to the wagon and get out of this armor? And maybe you forget to put something on afterwards?"

She gave me a cheeky grin. Then seemed to think a moment. "Actually," she said. "I think I'm going to do something else tonight. I was going to do it sooner, but things kept getting in the way."

"What?" I asked.

"You're just going to have to wait to find out?"

"Me? Wait for something you're going to do?" I teased. "Aren't you full of surprises on this trip."

Needless to say we spent the rest of the afternoon walking back to the wagon and then Sofia made me wait outside for a good hour before she opened the door and stepped out into the twilight.

The wait was worth it. She stepped out wearing her wedding dress. Being roughly four months pregnant, she had a noticeable bump in the stomach, not big enough to be recognized as a pregnancy bump, but the dress did not flow as it would have that unknown day in early Frostfall, nearly a year ago.

"How do I look?" she asked.

"Beautiful," I sighed. So much meaning was in this little gesture of hers.

"I know I'm beautiful," she replied rather matter of fact. "But do I look better?"

"It's hard for a woman with the face of a Goddess to top herself," I replied. "But you have done so."

She seemed pleased to hear that.

"So why?" I asked.

She sighed and nodded. "It's our honeymoon," she said. "And I don't remember wearing it. I wanted to know what it was like, sort of, to be in a wedding dress with my mmmm huzzbun . . . whatever. I wanted to be wearing this in front of you so I would have that at least. And you did say you wanted to see me in it someday. Well . . . this is that day . . . I mean night . . . *sighs* Well you know what I mean."

I walked up and gave her a very tight hug and kiss. Then just sighed and got all goofy for a moment.

She stayed in that dress all night. We had supper, then she read the journal. And read it again. And got annoyed. Finally she put it down, and just looked at me for a moment. She seemed discouraged.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"It's not a route to the Honeywine," she sighed. "I guess I don't win after all."

"But it's a route right?" I asked.

She looked up at me.

"Well yeah, it's supposed to be a route to this hidden monastery in the mountains on the west side of the reach, north of Markarth. It's foresworn territory. That's supposed to be the home of the. . ." and then she got sarcastic "Drunken Master." She frowned. "Nobody knows how to get drunk better than me. Nobody." She sighed again. "I suppose it makes sense. If I found it, I'd never leave it and if enough of us found it, we'd drink it dry."

She looked at me. "Not the most romantic way to end the night I wore my wedding dress," she said somewhat ironically. "But I suppose we'll be heading back tomorrow to Solitude and . . . Our home." She looked up at me in such a fashion that made me suspect she was feeling just a wee bit homesick.

I smiled back. "No," I said.

"No?" She paused with her mouth open somewhat. "What?"

I shook my head. "No, we're going to find this Drunken Master and make sure that this is on the level."

"What do you mean on the level. It doesn't exist. I was just dreaming."

"No," I said. "Let me tell you what a Bard would do at this juncture of the tale." I waited for her full attention. I nearly had it, but I was pausing for the sake of suspense. "You were right about how Nords would drink the river dry after mobbing it. So how would you, if you wanted to make something magical like this, enable the audience to suspend their disbelief to get into the tale?"

She was silent just looking at me with her mouth just a bit open. But her eyes were widening.

"Come on girl," I said with a grin. "Think it out. You have a brain, I've seen you using it on and off this entire trip. And your husband is not just Dragonborn, he's a Bard and a teller of tall tales of mystery and wonder and silliness."

"You would hide it behind a wall of clues!" squealed Sofia leaping up. She got out her combat moves and gave me one of her big hugs. She then looked at me. "Before I ask you to take this wedding dress off of me and discover that I'm wearing nothing underneath it. I have to ask. Are you sure you want to win this bet?" she asked.

I admit I had one of those cheesy grins on. "I want something more than winning this bet," I replied. "And that's to see you happy and enjoying this little honeymoon of ours."

That and the fact that I could not think of anything to replace Sofia au natural on the bed painting which I really did not want out there for the rest of Tamriel to gaze upon some day. So I was at this point perfectly willing to lose the bet, or at least go down fighting the potential of victory tooth and nail. But I knew that if I had confessed that I did not want an oil painting of my Sofia ready for bed she would immediately conclude that I thought she was ugly and we'd have a fight. And . . . Well . . . We hadn't had that many on this trip and it was kind of nice . . . If a little dull.

Well the rest of the night went pretty standard for a honeymoon. There was the disposal of the wedding dress, the love making, the snuggling afterwards and silly talk, and then we fell asleep and woke up the next morning ready to take on the world . . . After we had had our way with each other yet again. There was a quick breakfast in the wagon while I poured over the journal and worked out the route to that hidden cleft in the Reach and then the two of us stepped outside. The sun was shining brightly, the birds were singing cheerily, there were bunnies frolicking by the river, and the salmon were leaping up the rapids, while the children played tag with each other and half a dozen monks in grey robes shouting something along the lines of "You'll never find it, Dragonborn!" and casting that drunk spell at double strength before charging with drawn daggers screaming "Victory or Sovngarde!". Or so I concluded since the world was not only swinging, I was seeing everyone and their quadruplet brothers.

"I hate that spell!" screamed Sofia letting loose a double handed fireball into the monks. It hit right on and send them flying every which way while the playful children scattered screaming and the birds stopped singing and the bunnies stopped gamboling. The salmon, being on a tight schedule, continued to leap up the rapids and the sun continued to shine because it was beneath the sun's dignity to stop shining. Sofia charged with her sword and ice bolts while I staggered in trying to duplicate what I had figured out the last time that spell had been cast upon me. This battle went a bit better since, thanks to the arrival of Alduin the year prior, three guards had been sent to Riverwood to provide security for the town and the Jarl had never recalled them.

It seemed sensible to leave the detachment there for the time being for two of the boys were home boys and the Civil War was still in a state of truce until the Dragon Crises had passed. And that would last until it was clear that there were no more dragons threatening. And sneaky little bastard that I was, I kept summoning Durnehviir over Solitude every Mondas so he could fly over Tamriel and eat elk. The Thalmor Embassy had to keep telling Summerset that dragons were routinely flying about. And to make sure this kept happening, I asked Durnehviir to strafe the embassy before he returned to the Soul Cairn at the end of his Mondas constitution. He was more than happy to do that since being immortal, there was nothing the Embassy could throw at him that stopped him from this single buzz. Likewise, Elenwen observed something else in her reports to Summerset about these weekly dive bombs. When your house get's flamed by a dragon on a weekly basis, people stop coming to your parties. When Ulfric was given this bit of information it is said the entire court room echoed with his giggles. Being the manly sort, he vehemently denied it afterwards. Real men, especially Real Men Stormcloaks don't giggle.

As it was, the guards were getting to like Riverwood for it's access to the countryside and one of them was starting to give Camilla little wreaths of purple mountain flowers which she was naturally happy to receive and wear on her head. And you know how it is with guards. Pull out a dagger and start stabbing people in the street and you'll see what I mean. They get all excited like. Needless to say they were pretty much there whacking away within a few seconds of the fight breaking out. Since they spent most of their days watching the road on both sides of the town, they were out of the spell's range when it had been cast. Once the fight was over with, I lay down. On the street I'll confess. Sofia tried to torture one of the surviving monks into giving her that spell by kicking him repeatedly in a spot neither protected adequately by either armor or ironskin spell. He choose death over revelation which annoyed her even more. I'm not sure which of the several dozen guards helped me back to the wagon or why I could not feel the ground beneath my feet.

I was woken up by a heard of mammoths dancing upon my head with their giant herders beating out the rhythm with their clubs upon the bony parts of my skull. It was late at night and Sofia was sleeping quietly next to me. So I struggled down to make the hangover remedy. And when it was clear that one was not sufficient for the task, I made a second. That worked. Then I made about a dozen more since I had this horribly sneaky suspicion that if we met them again, they would try a triple strength drunk spell. I crawled back up into bed, feeling a lot better and snuggled up to Sofia.

"Mmm Valentine?" she said faintly.

"I'm sober again," I replied.

"Good," she said. "Well be going into The Reach tomorrow and I decided I want a triple chain, two strands gold and one strand silver on my necklace."

"Alright," I sighed. "But first I get to put my hands on your breasts."

"If you must," she said. She adjusted her arm so my arm would fit in and then placed her hand upon my arm and snuggled back against me. This being a fundamental difference between a woman you know and a woman you are married to. The woman you are married to is not only way more tolerant of that sort of demand, there are times when she insists upon it. It's a pretty neat way to snuggle and I've never gotten tired of it.


	40. Chapter 40 - The Chocolate Mushrooms

**The Cream Filled Marshmallow Mushrooms**

"So your mommy beat up all the mean monks who cast the dizzy spell on your daddy. Then, after he made all his magic potions, he drove the wagon out into The Reach so we might find this hidden monastery," I said.

Martin was yawning and rubbing his eyes when he wasn't just leaning against Serana. Freya was still listening intently while Sofia was looking down at her fifth mug of ale and wondering how it had managed to get empty so quickly. She shrugged and picked up the last full one on the table and took a nice gulp. Serana and I both lifted our mugs and took sips and I exhaled.

"So since it was a nice day," I continued. "I rode out of Riverwood and once we got on the road towards The Reach, I sang a silly song with your mother so we might pass the time away," I continued.

* * *

"I have a girl named Sofi,  
She is so mighty fine,  
I oh so want to kiss her,  
She'd rather have my wine."

"Damn straight," suggested Sofia. She opened up the boot and pulled out a bottle of mead and give me a silly little grin.

"I take her when I travel,  
I go with upmost speed,  
She always sits beside me,  
And smiles and drinks the mead."

She sniggered a bit as she yanked the cork out of the bottle with her teeth and with a 'patooie' she spat it on the road.

"And she is such a beauty,  
Her face I hold so dear,  
I dream that she's professing,  
She loves me more than beer."

"Never!" she cried out and giggled.

"But now my heart is broken,  
I cry and sob and wail,  
My Sofi's gone and left me.  
For I ran out of ale."

"Serves you right," she proclaimed.

"Lets, see," I continued musing. "Your necklace will be triple chain with two strands of gold and one stand of silver. There will be thirteen amethysts with 12 sapphires set between each of them. There will be a diamond hanging below the central amethyst and two rubies hanging off the adjacent sapphires. Have I gotten it all."

"Let me think," she announced. I kept the retort that had popped into my head to myself. She scrunched her face up a bit as she counted things off on her fingers. Then she sighed.

I can't think of any other gemstones . . . GARNETS! Hang garnets off the rest of the amethysts and sapphires on the necklace. That will be sufficient. Granted this is me were talking about. So some ostentatiousness is simply necessary. But I don't have to go entirely overboard."

"My name it is Sofia,  
I'm the best you'll ever get,  
My beauty is astounding,  
And I've never lost a bet!"

She sang and smiled.

"You know," I sighed as I turned to her. That's one of the nice things about driving a wagon. The horses just go on down the road knowing what they are supposed to do and so you can just look at the person sitting next to you on occasion if you want to say something. And the sunlight was glimmering off her black hair and it was glistening a bit. Something about the energy and work of adventuring, it brightens up the face and hair very nicely. "You're a really lucky girl to have a guy who lets you boast like you do and still loves you."

"I'm the lucky one?" she replied. There was a bit of challenge in those eyes of hers. I grinned back.

"Extremely lucky," I continued, firmly determine to trod this dangerous territory. "I'd say you are the luckiest girl alive. You are the beloved of Valentine." And I smiled rather smugly.

"Are you as good a fighter as I am?" she retorted, half in jest half serious. She hadn't caught on to what I was doing just yet. "I don't think so!"

"And can you compose music as good as me?" I retorted. "Not a chance. Your vocal talents girl, are entirely dependent upon my instruction.

"And let's just try to compare your good looks to mine. I had piles of guys at my beck and call before I decided to pick you as the winner."

"And Dragonborn has nothing remotely chick magnet about it does it?" I replied back.

"Ha!" she retorted. "I had you snagged before you even knew you were Dragonborn!"

"Doesn't change the face that Camilla was flirting with me!"

"And you yourself have admitted that I was prettier than her, so what?" She had picked up on the game and we were in full swing.

"Okay!" I exclaimed. "So you were prettier than her. That didn't stop her from flirting with me, who was the most handsome dude in the store at the time."

"That's hardly a comparison. Your only competition was a long hared slobber tongued dog and her brother, who was neck and neck with the dog in the looks department."

"In the store," I replied. "But you forgot Embrys."

She shrieked half in shock and half in humor, "What? The town drunk?"

"He's a great drinker! Like you! You two have mutual interests. So you have to admit that I supplanted him to!"

"I'd only play a guy like that for drinks and the drunk never has enough money for my games," she howled throwing her hands up. "I would never bother with him to begin with so to claim you were superior to him is totally stupid. It's no comparison. If you're going to sit there and try to pretend that you're better than me you're going to have to do better than that."

"Okay," I said, feeling particularly confidant. "Name one guy, just one guy you would rather be with then me."

She snorted. Then looked at me with a bit of surprise and wonder. "Oh?" She started. "Name one woman, Just One! that you would rather be making love to."

"That's hitting below the belt!" I exclaimed, in part to keep from laughing.

"I prefer stroking in that region," she retorted and then pretended to be interested in her fingernails.

"Well then girl," I replied. "Like I said, name just one guy you would rather be kissing."

There was a pregnant pause. It made me feel rather good I'll admit. "Just because you are a great lover," she shot back shortly thereafter with exaggerated haughtiness. "Doesn't mean you're a better lover than me. And you know I'm the best."

"Oh, that must explain why you cry out MY name when you climax," I replied.

"Like you don't moan 'Soh fia Soh fia Soh fia' when you are entirely in me?" she shot back in a parody of my voice with more than a cheeky and superior smile on her lips. "Besides," she continued with a look of triumph on her eyes. "I'm the only one you've ever had. Which only proves that even if you knew how to compare, you have no one to compare with. And you won't leave me because you know no one measures up."

"Yeah," I replied with my come back already on my lips. "Of all the guys you had, you are sticking with me aren't you? That only proves I'm the best."

"When I'm number one," she replied. "I can only get number two. I'm not ashamed to admit you are number two, because that only proves I'm number one."

"She wishes," I replied leaning back against the seat grinning and looking ahead as the cliffs began to rise on both sides of the road.

"Wishes? I don't have to wish when I'm the best lover, best drinker, best looking, best fighter, and best singer in Skyrim."

"And you're up against the best shouter, best dragon slayer, best musician, best composer, best bard, and best hero in all of Tamriel!"

"Ha!" she shot back. "You say you're such a great artist? You would be nothing but a penny alley flute player without my beauty and heroism to inspire you. As if Mirmulnar wouldn't have smushed you into little dirt ball nuggets at that watch tower without my fighting skills. I'm the greatest heroine in Nirn and you know it."

I was stuck for something to retort so I stuck my tongue out at her. She stuck her tongue back out at me. Then we just make faces at each other until we both burst into giggles and she snuggled her head into my shoulder for a moment.

"Before I met you. I was feeling pretty lonely," she sighed. "Then you came along. I'm happy you are here with me. You've made sure I have good times."

It was a couple of days to travel to Markarth, for we took our time. There was for example, the wrestling match on the riverbank which got us entirely covered in mud. Given all that dirt, we then engaged in water sports that consisted chiefly of mutual dunking in the river. And there were other activities. You should have guessed most of them by now.

The wagon was parked in the stable in Markarth since the mountains and vales of the reach made it difficult to search for the monastery vale in the wagon. Accordingly, with a little disappointment that we were once again on our feet like when we had started out, we began to walk and search. And then on the third day we crested a hill ridge and there it was. An old wood building in the Akaviri style which I had seen on occasion in the Cyrodiil.

"Well there's the monastery where we can expect to master the art of getting drunk," she sighed. "I suppose I could give them a few hints. But why a monastery? Creepy old guys in robes getting drunk only make them more creepy."

We walked down the hill and as we approached the monastery I suddenly saw something that made me put my hand on Sofia's shoulder.

"Valentine," she said rather testily. "I think I've made it clear I prefer a bed."

"Sofia," I replied rather testily back. "Why is it you presume these things when were approaching a monastery which happens to have two monks in grey robes . . . rather familiar grey robes I might add . . . in front of it."

She looked ahead more clearly.

"Oh yeah," she mused. "Think we need to walk up to them ready to kill them?"

"Might be a good idea," I said. I flexed my fingers and brought my best ward to both my hands. I was going to do my best to make sure I didn't end up as drunk as Sofia and her sixty sisters locked up in Black Briar Vats. So ready for a fight, we reached the Monastery while the two guard monks just watched us approach.

"Halt!" said the one on the left. "Why do you approach the Monastery of the Sanguine Warriors?"

"The what?" exclaimed Sofia.

"We are looking for the Honeywine River," I replied. "And the clues we found led us to your Monastery."

"It has been many years since one came looking for that river," observed the monk.

"Wait! What? You mean it does exist?" exclaimed Sofia. Then she paused. "I mean of course it exists."

"But only those who pass the test may be permitted entry into the Monastery which is the beginning of your pilgrimage to the blessed realm of Sanguine," continued the Monk.

"Really now?" I mused in a tone that expressed a great deal of skepticism. "I've met Sanguine. I have his Rose in fact."

"Which you never use, nor let me touch," snipped Sofia.

"You doubt us?" exclaimed the monk.

"Quite," I replied. "Sanguine is not known for thinking things through. A pilgrimage to find a river where one can drink themselves daft does not strike me as particularly Sanguine in style."

"You doubt the river?"

"What can you say," exclaimed Sofia, her excitement beginning to bubble. "He's a loser!"

"I doubt the pilgrimage, not the river." I replied. I mean really, the idea of the river being one of Sanquine's little pocket pleasure places in Oblivion made perfect sense. It answered all my objections. And likewise, it meant that I would not have to worry about a life size canvas of my darling Sofia in a manner which distracted the mind from her genuine accomplishments. Which is a very euphemistic way of putting it I'll admit. But by now you should know what I am referring to. What can I say? I'm just not a particularly sore looser, even when my nose is being rubbed in it by Sofia.

"You are foolish," replied the one monk. "And you shall be enlightened or refused entry."

"If you're not going to let us in, what's to stop me from enlightening you on what your life will be like without any teeth?" queried Sofia with just a bit of edge in her voice.

"You think you are the master?" queried the monk on the left.

"No one knows how to get drunk better than me," she replied.

"We shall see," said the monk. "Behold the blessing of Sanguine!"

And the two of them cast the drunk spell on Sofia.

"Yes?" she said.

I was having a hard time not smiling.

"Double power brother," suggested the monk on the right. The two of them cast it again.

"Try again," suggested Sofia. "I really want to know what this spell feels like when it hits you and actually works."

"Triple power!" cried the monk on the right. The two monks cast the spell again.

"Been there, done that, won the wet t-shirt," replied Sofia.

"Full power!" They cried and cast it again. The power flowed around Sofia, the spell of alcohol was prevalent upon the breeze. Then they clutched their chests, fell to their knees, and then their faces met the earth beneath and they were still."

Sofia sighed.

"It's okay Sofi," I suggested. "There are simply some things my dear Sofia is not meant to know."

We opened the door and walked into the monastery. The hallway was composed entirely of wood. There were wood floors, a wood ceiling, very well carved and embellished, and the sides of the hallway were also wooden but they were embellished with what looked to be the fronts of wine casks. Then we walked into a central square room. Sofia sighed contentedly. The sort of sigh which suggests that all her dreams had come true. At first glance you might have asked how? The central part of the room was a sparring floor with small cushions around it for seated students. But around the sides were more wine casks, and these had spouts and the stains on the floor suggested they were both filled and frequently used. Hanging from all the walls were mugs. Large mugs in fact. In short, it was a room for both drinking and fighting. If there had been a double bed in the middle, Sofia would have been back in Sovngarde.

There was the creak of an opening door and an old wizened monk came out and faced us. His face was somewhat square with a weak chin. There were pronounced crow's feet around his eyes and his features suggested that he grinned a lot. Even so, his hair remained entirely short, straight, and entirely black. I found this curious.

"How did you get in without an announcement?" He asked.

"Your two guards wouldn't let me in unless I was drunk," replied Sofia. "And they discovered that drunk spell didn't work on me."

"It doesn't?" queried the Monk. He walked up and reached for Sofia's head.

"Put your fingers on me and you'll find they break easily," she suggested.

He paused. "I merely wish to magically examine your spirit," he suggested.

Sofia looked at me, I shrugged suggesting what he was asking was harmless. "I'm her husband," I said looking at him.

He nodded understanding. He then proceeded to gently place his finger tips upon the temples of her head.

"Amazing!" he cried. "You have ascended to the peak of drunken assimilation."

"What are you talking about?" she asked. Then she added. "I mean of course."

"What she said," I added. "Just what does this mean?"

He smiled.

"My son," he replied. "Back in the elder days, when those who worshiped Sanguine would celebrate his mysteries, there were those who would attack us for worshiping a daedra, when we were in the midst of our revels. Our drunkenness was a hindrance to our ability to defend ourselves and many of us were slain. So we gathered together and set this place aside so that we might learn the ways of combat while drunk, and in so doing, turn our drunkenness itself into one of our weapons of defense."

I nodded to him, suggesting that he continue his story, pausing only to note that Sofia had helped herself to one of the mugs, the largest one within grasp, and had filled it with wine from one of the casks.

"And so here, that we may still defend ourselves from those who would not permit us our revels, students from all over Tamriel make a pilgrimage to this monastery and learn the arts of drunken combat. I am, accordingly, the Drunken Master at this monastery.

"So the goal isn't to master the art of getting drunk," I mused. "The goal is to master the art of combat while drunk."

"Indeed," he replied.

"This is really good wine," suggested Sofia.

"So how is this connected to the Honeywine river?" I continued.

"It is a pleasure spot in Oblivion which Sanguine made for our monastery as a blessing. When you have ascended to full Drunken Mastery, fit to teach those who come here, you are formally inducted in a ceremony and given the grey robe. Afterwards we go to the Honeywine and have a revel to celebrate with Sanquine. A graduation party to the uninitiated."

"Makes sense," I mused. "This is Sanguine we are talking about. So why did your monks attack us in Solitude and Riverwood?"

The wise old monk, or Wom as Sofia took to calling him shortly thereafter, frowned.

"It is a curse we are suffering from," he said with a sigh. "A monk here, named Savien, disagreed with our philosophy and after many contentious arguments, he left with his own disciples vowing to destroy all who sought us. They believe that when we and the last of our followers are gone, then the Honeywine river will be accessible for all times and they will feast and drink and dance upon it's banks forever."

Sofia had finished her mug, and helped herself to a second helping from a second cask.

"So under normal circumstances, people who come to this Monastery are not attacked by monks casting the drunk spell upon us," I noted.

"Indeed," replied the Wom. "But we have been under assault for many generations now."

"This is good wine too," observed Sofia.

"And the two monks who tried it at the door?"

The Wom sighed again. "Foolish youngsters, I have only acolytes now and they take matters into their own hands. The spell is merely to test the advancement of the pilgrim. That your wife was immune to the spell shows she has achieved oneness with alcohol."

"What does this oneness with alcohol mean?" I asked. "Short of my wife's ability to put away vast quantities of wine and other spirits?"

"You ask a very deep question," replied the Wom. "And one which I am pleased to be able to answer promptly." He paused. "I don't know," he finished. "But many monks have talked long and thought hard on what Sanguine meant by that when he gave us the talent to discern it."

His answer did not surprise me that much. After all, Sanguine no doubt just noted something about a person who could drink an awful lot before they passed out and no doubt had proclaimed a certain level of alcoholic tolerance an achievement. What he meant beyond that would baffle even him. He was, as I recalled, not entirely sure why he had picked me and Sofia as the bearers of his Rose Staff.

"Only one last thing for us to do," I noted while Sofia helped herself to a third mug from a third cask. "And that's to reach the Honeywine river so that my wife might proclaim victory in a manner entirely suited to her personality."

Which is a nice way of observing that she would crow a bit, rub my nose in it, and then mock me as a looser. And then she would get a nice swat on the tush and act shocked and surprised that I would resort to such measures. After which she would ask me constantly when I was going to be finished with her new necklace.

"I can send you there," he replied. "But only as a reward for service to the Monastery."

"Understood," I replied. I mean really now, had anything ever come to me in Skyrim without some sort of go there and do this and come back for your reward thing? Other than Sofia of course. I looked back at her and she looked at me from over the rim of her raised mug. After a second she put the mug down.

"This one is really good too," she suggested.

"So what do we need to do?" I asked.

"Word has reached me that you are the Dragonborn," replied the Wom. "And so you might be able to climb the wobbly path to the swaying tower and face Savien and so defeat him."

"Not to deny your request," I observed. "But so far Sofia and I have had help when we faced these monks. They cast that drunken spell upon us and while it does not affect Sofia. It does knock me out."

"Indeed," replied the Wom. "I shall therefore train you and your wife in our ways so that when they seek that advantage, you will be able to respond and defeat them." He paused. "Will you accept me as your Sensai?"

"For how long?" I asked.

"I will need you here at least several days," he replied. "As Dragonborn you have your own innate talents you will be able to call upon. But if you have not been initiated in the basics of our fighting style, you will be overwhelmed by that spell."

"What do I have to do?" I asked.

"Train and spar while drunk each day for many hours," He replied.

"Won't that be romantic Valentine?" suggested Sofia. "And on our Honeymoon?"

Her tone suggest we were going to do this or else. She was already finishing her third mug and had that little grin on her face when she's just starting to feel the buzz of the alcohol.

I turned to the Wom. "Okay," I said. "I"ll do it."

Training began immediately. At least on me. The Wom began to sense very quickly that Sofia was not going to 'train' at least easily. So he began to instruct as if I were the only student. My first instruction was to secure a mug of wine and then while he spoke of the philosophy of the Drunken Fighting Style, I drained the mug at my own speed. Then we got up and he began a series of attacks with his fists while I parried with my hands. Then went on for a good ten minutes or so and then it was another mug during another talk on the philosophy of drunken fighting, then another set of drills, and so on and so forth. Somewhere during that day I was so blotto that I spent a great deal of time getting smacked around. But when I woke up with sore muscles and a hangover the next day, I discovered that I was going to learn how to fight with a pounding head and aching body as well. And the days began to blur together and over time I began to swing with the rhythm of the fighting. Those little discoveries I had made fighting the rogue monks were part of a greater set of moves which were understood by the Wom and his pupils. As for Sofia? There were times in which she agreed to spar with me and she was always drinking a mug when I was. But there was a lot of blur. I think we made love on occasion, at least Sofia seemed to think so and complained because I was so drunk I frequently was 'bendy' as she put it.

But I noticed something else. As I drank and sparred, the alcohol affected me less and less. There was not a dramatic change, but it was continual and gradual. So that as I was getting to the end of the training days, I could pack away two full mugs before I began to feel the buzz. Of course I was wobbly long before Sofia got there. In the last few days, sensing that Sofia was not training much if any, I began to challenge her more and more to sparring matches, which the Wom seemed to approve of. Sofia not realizing how well I had gotten to know her never caught on that my persistent suggestions that she really was a wimpy little girl and this time I was going to prove it, unlike the last time, was designed to goad her into yet another sparring match. I always up until the end, ended up on the floor, but each time we faced off, I got better. You see, she was going on instinct and experience but I was going on training and analysis of her style. Little by little I learned to parry her kicks and then, at the end, I swaggered and staggered to the left and her kick missed entirely and I slammed into her and knocked her over. I had her in a pin and took a second to look into her eyes. And for a second she had that soft look which told me she was remembering a certain dragon mound.

Then I passed out from that curious recipe which is three parts wine and seven parts persistent kicks to the head..

Of course that little defeat was interpreted by her as merely being sloppy and she came back at me the next day with renewed vigor. And again, more often than not, I was the one who ended up on the floor. But likewise, it wasn't guaranteed. And so the last two days were almost nonstop sparring with her. And I kept goading her on suggesting that I was the one knocking her on her duff more and more and her determination to be the champion knocker more and more. And no, when I say knocker, I wasn't referring to knockers, that is, a pair of them, but in explaining that I have mentioned them anyway so to Oblivion with it.

And the end of the training, I stumbled back out of the Monastery with Sofia who somewhat stumbled as well since I was knocking her over about once every five bouts on that last day and she was exhausted, but likewise looking at me with a renewed amazement and not a little respect. But by then we had been absent from the wagon for around three weeks and it was time to rest and recuperate before we headed off to another even more remote portion of The Reach for the confrontation with Savien.


	41. Chapter 41 - Dancing On A Wedding Cake

**A Wedding Cake To Dance Upon**

Little Martin was sound asleep on Auntie Nibble's right. Freya rubbed her eyes.

"More story?" she asked.

"In a moment," I suggested. "We have to put little Martin to bed."

"And I'll pour us another round," offered Sofia.

"Fill mine up will you?" I asked. "Please?"

Sofia sighed and said, "Okay." She put the a fourth mug on the tray and went into the kitchen while Serana scooped up little Martin gently and we carried him into the bedroom where he was tucked in quietly.

"Sofi told me a few things about that trip," mused Serana as we walked back down the stairs. "But you've added so much detail. I'm not sure how much of it I should believe."

"Well you know me," I replied in a jocular fashion.

"Which is why I'm doubting most of it," she replied back in that innocent tone of hers. "I have not forgotten the ten foot long tongue Paarthurnax is supposed to have."

"Why must the mistakes of my youth come back to haunt me time and time again?" I whined.

"Because it's fun to torment you with them," she replied cheerily. "My teeth are no longer sharp but I've learned how to make my tongue so."

"You're a wicked woman," I groaned.

"Flattery will get you everywhere," she replied.

I picked up my mug of freshly filled ale while Serana drained the last of her mug and took one of the new mugs Sofia had poured. Sofi gave a look of surprise as if to say," Yes I know I filled that up for you but you know I didn't really mean that you drink it."

We settled back into our respective spots and Freya looked at me for the continuation of the story.

"Well," I said. "After we spoke to the Wise Old Monk who taught us all there was about the Evil Monk who wanted everyone to be unhappy and thus guarded the River of Happy Juice, your daddy and mother set forth once again in the wagon and drove for a full day up into the northwestern parts of Skyrim, nearly all the way to High Rock.

"But that's so far away!" exclaimed Freya. "How did you ever get back?"

"Well when your mommy gets very angry with me I can run very fast," I suggested.

"Death comes in the night, unanticipated," suggested Sofia.

"Oh Sofi!" exclaimed Serana. "Aurelian melts into a puddle so nicely when I give him that look. Doesn't Valentine do that to?"

Sofia pretended to think for a moment. "Well yeah . . ." she replied and grinned.

"So we reached a very dark and scary looking valley and we got out of the wagon and looked up the narrow winding trail and your mother, being very observant, said . . ."

* * *

"This armor got me thinking," she mused as she looked at the Dragon Scale we were wearing. What would a Khajiit fur coat look like? I mean one that is not on a living Khajiit of course."

"Not that much different," I replied. "They have a very similar skeletal structure to us you know."

"You know, we could make a killing off of the Khajiits we kill by selling the skins as coats?"

"Sofi are you serious?"

"It's a joke . . . maybe," she replied with a cheeky grin.

We began to go up the trail into the shadowy vale. It wasn't very long before I began to note something about the trail.

"The monk wasn't kidding when he called it The Wobbly Trail," I suggested.

"Yeah, it almost feels as if you are drunk when you try to climb it," added Sofia.

There were a couple of turns and then we stumbled into each other.

"If you're going to grope under my armor," she suggested. "Might I suggest you do it a bit better?"

"Sorry," I replied. "I did not design this armor to be easy to grope you in."

"Pity," she observed. "Takes all the fun out of being irresistible."

"Well you'll just have to live with the knowledge that you are until I can get you out of that armor," I continued as we climbed further up.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she said in her trademarked cheeky fashion.

"You think so?" I replied back. "I've already gotten you out of it once."

"I was taken by surprise," she retorted. "When I have my full combat moves on, you won't get anything off of me."

I said nothing for a moment.

"What?" she exclaimed. "You're not going to respond to that challenge?"

"I'm not going to give away my attack strategy," I replied back.

"Cheeky," she suggested.

We proceeded for a few more hundred yards and then turned a corner. I held up my hand and crouched behind a pile of rocks. She crawled up next to me and we both peered over the boulder. The swaying tower was before us. And while we knew, in theory, that the tower was just standing there, like any tower, there was something in the design which suggested staggering and swaying.

"Now that is one weird tower," I groaned quietly.

"You're not exactly filling me with confidence right now," was her reply.

"Hey if I can't shiver and shake in front of my wife, who can I shiver and shake in front of."

"Well when I happen to prefer grappling and thrusting," she retorted.

"Right," I sighed. "I just want to make sure we're not walking into some sort of magical trap or illusion."

We watched the tower for a moment and then, determining that there was actually no one keeping watch, no doubt brought on the by the very real fact that we were in howling wilderness for the most part in this section of The Reach, we slipped quietly up to the door of the tower. And found it locked.

"Lockpick?" I queried with a flat open palm. Sofia plopped one into my hand almost immediately. "I remain amazed at all the lockpicks you find," I continued quietly.

"Well with all the lockpicks I find on corpses and the merchants who sell them," she mused. "It's fair to say everyone is up to no good," she paused. "So watch yourself."

"True," I said. "But I was more amazed at how fast you can pop a lockpick out when I ask for one." Meanwhile the lock clicked and the door quietly opened.

"I'd tell you how I do it," she replied "But I don't want to creep you out or anything."

I had gotten to know her pretty well by this point, but comments like that still left me wondering if she was being serious or throwing out yet another of her off hand, not to mention off color, jokes. We slipped into the tower and were confronted with a single narrow corridor going down the width of the tower to another door on the other side. Given what I knew of the tower's dimensions, it had to open on a staircase which I presumed would be going up. There were two doors on either side.

"Where is everyone?" whispered Sofia. "Normally when you walk into a tower there's something right there ready to smack you, you know?"

"We do left first," I mused.

"I say right," she retorted.

"You're just doing that because I suggested left first. Had I suggested right, you would have said left," I replied.

"Yeah so?"

Honesty like that is so unique there is something just refreshing about it. As I am the man of the household, and the Dragonborn, I proceeded towards the right door.

And then the floor flipped out on us. And I mean that most literally. The floor simply tilted and flipped over since apparently it was perfectly balanced so that the moment you walked towards the edge, it turned on a single thick dweemer round bar set into the walls of the tower. Fascinating trap and the sort you don't necessarily know how to look for if you've never experienced it before. Of course while Sofia and I were tumbling into a large room below filled with hungry sabre cats I wasn't making these sorts of academic observations about the ingenuity and design of the trap. And Sofia was making observations of a more colorful sort. Needless to say the Sabre Cats welcomed us with all the enthusiasm that starving beasts are capable of expressing. Fortunately we were armed and armored and had magic. It was over in a few moments and we were scratched and bitten, but otherwise still intact sufficiently to fix the issues with healing spells and cure disease potions.

"Next time I hear about someone taking a tumble with their husband, I'm certain that the first thing that pops into my head will be this instead," she mused. "I'm sure I've been scarred for life with this destruction of my youthful idealism."

"I can see I'm rubbing off on you," I mused with a little smile.

"Given all the times you've made love to me, I'm not surprised," she retorted.

"And this point," I observed. "There's no point in being stealthy. They have to know we are here."

"But they don't necessarily know where we are here," replied Sofia.

"True," I said.

"Naturally," she added. "I forgot to tell you where I want the pearls on the necklace," she continued. "Seeing as you've lost the bet you know."

"Yes dear," I replied working on the grill portcullis which was blocking our exit out of this rather cheesy and overly dramatic trap. I swear sometimes my life is like I'm in a story being written by a bored shopkeeper.

"Looser," she continued.

"Looking to get a swat on your tush?" I queried.

"Sore looser," she observed.

"We have to be quiet now," I suggested as I worked the portcullis up and wedged it into place with the point of my dragonbone sword so she could slip through first.

"Sure thing . . ." she whispered. "I so love winning bets with you. Let me know the next time you want to lose."

You may ask me at this juncture, why I love this woman? Well think about it. There is something noble and self-giving about being this woman's man. Really now. Sacrifices have to be made to make the world a better place and that's what heroes do. By willingly taking the torments my darling Sofia inflicted upon me, I saved many a man from having to endure it from her themselves. Of course by now I had my own ways of retaliating. But still, it's a pretty heroic thing I was doing now wasn't it? Besides, pain and suffering are what it takes to fix the world of stupidity. Seriously now, what was the flaming breath of an angry Alduin next to Sofia's running commentaries on life? How could any great brown bear's claws be more rending or sharper than Sofia's tongue? What could the shout of a draugr death lord do that Sofia's shouting couldn't do already? Yes, I was a hero now. She was making me a better, stronger, and greater man. And I owe it all to her. It is at this juncture that I do wish I could have a bardic accompaniment of vocals to provide more drama to this little soliloquy of mine but you can't have everything now can you?

We slipped up two flights of stairs and worked our way across another hallway and into yet another room when suddenly the alarm went off and pouring into the room behind us was about half a dozen monks. I threw up my ward and the drunk spell went off and while I was definitely buzzed, I was not entirely blotto. They came at us with fists and daggers and magic and we replied with fists and swords and magic. The Wom's training really kicked in and helped. I was dealing with three Monks almost immediately while Sofia was tangoing with the other three.

"Look at you!" mocked Sofia to the woman who was coming in at her. "The only guy who would date you would be a falmer!"

I swung and staggered drunkenly and put the edge of my blade into one of the monks thighs and he was down while the other two ducked. Then with another drunken stagger and swing with my sword, I put my foot into another monk's backside and shoved him into the wall where his head hit and he staggered about groaning. We were already down to three since the woman did not appreciate Sofia's assessment of her attractiveness and had savagely attacked right into Sofia's fire bolt to the face.

"Hold!" came a commanding voice. The three monks fell back and formed a defensive perimeter as a tall Altmer came forward.

"So," he observed looking at us. "It seems that my minions are not sufficient for the task at hand. But now you will have to face me."

"That is so cliche," I replied. "Can't you ultimate bosses come up with something more clever and imaginative to say when you confront the Dragonborn? I mean really now. I've faced down two world threatening dooms and you come at me with a line that reads out of a thousand amateur bard tales."

"What can you expect from an Altmer?" queried Sofia.

"Ooo Sofi, I love it when you go racist on me," I quipped.

The Altmer, which I suspect was Savien got a curious expression on his face and then he snarled. "I will kill you and your children. I will raze your home to the ground. I will put you through such pain that Mehrune's Oblivion will seem like paradise to you. Now DIE!"

"Much better!" I cried. "Now we have Real Drama!"

And the fight began again. Savagely snarling, he charged me with a combination of punches and kicks which kept me busy parrying for the next few seconds. It was all very stimulating and invigorating and getting to be rather painful and had it gone much longer, I would have been paste on the wall for he was very very good.

The story is told of a brilliant swordsman who faced off with a hero who was busy trying to save an ancient artifact from an evil overlord who sought to rule all of Tamriel with the said artifact. The hero stood there for a moment watching the graceful flips and twirls and allays of the swordsman who was not yet in melee combat with him, but making it clear that he would easily cut the hero into ribbons should the hero get within the rage of that blade. The hero sighed, flipped out his crossbow, shot the bolt through the head of the swordsman, and proceeded on with the rescue.

Something similar happened at this juncture. Savian was so busy rendering me into a thin plaster for the wall of the dojo that he had forgotten he had told the other three monks to stand down, and being obedient fellows, they were just standing there waiting for their next set of instructions from their sensei. Sofia accordingly made note of this, stepped behind Savian, and ran him through with her sword.

I looked at the three monks who were somewhat stunned at the sudden defeat and death of their wise and ancient leader.

"You can't be too careful about the blind obedience you expect from your minions," I suggested.

"That and you should always beware of fighting with a woman," added Sofia. "We always fight dirty."

It was at this point that we heard the twang of a portal opening and turning, there was that glimmering blue ball which we had seen once before when we were trying to find out how it was that we had gotten married.

"It is the entrance to the Honeywine," gasped one of the minions. "But this was not supposed to be until the death of . . ."

"It was Savien who was blocking the way," I replied. "You were deceived and your brothers and sister have paid for that deception with their lives."

They commenced to weep and wail and do all those sorts of things which monks do when they find out they've been purifying themselves for the wrong leader. As for me and Sofia, we stepped through the portal and into the Vale of the Honeywine.

"Looser looser looser!" mocked Sofia as she danced about me waving her arms in the air and pointing to the river. "You are such a looser!"

I promptly tackled her and we wrested about for a moment until she realized that there was a method to my madness which meant that she fell into the river, dragonscale armor and all, along with me.

And yes it was mead. It was the most delicious mead I had ever tasted. And while I remember that when I first came into Skyrim, I hated mead, I had gotten used to the taste. When your wife is always drinking it, it's usually the only drink around and you end up becoming used to the flavor and eventually you appreciate it. I mean, there is that subtle honey tang in the back which makes it unique among drinks. So between dunks, sips, and kisses, not to mention spitting streams of it between our teeth into the mouths of our beloved, something you don't have a problem with given all the personal tongue to tongue contact you've had with them in the prior months, we worked our way out of the river and I worked Sofia out of her armor. Then I pointed out to her that once again I had gotten it off of her. There was a shriek from her and a new bout of wrestling began. But this one was a bit more, shall we say, intimate in application.

Needless to say, it was a very romantic interlude and the only way to adequately describe it was as if we were dancing on the top of our gigantic wedding cake. There were all sorts of meals growing on the bushes and I can't explain how they were doing that but they were. And there were all sorts of candies and cakes and cookies and jelly filled rolls growing from the trees and no I don't know how to explain that either. And likewise, it seemed that it was being reserved entirely for us, which was a good thing since we really were not dressed to receive guests at our little revel. There were flowers in profusion filling the air with heady perfumes and the gentle buzz of bees that flitted from flower to flower adding a nice undertone to the chirping of the birds above. We stuffed ourselves until we could eat no more and we drank until we could barely walk. And then we snuggled up under a tree with sweet rolls swaying gently in the breeze above us and fell asleep in each other's arms.

And we woke up in our wagon's bed.

There was no hangover. Nor was there any bloated feeling that one gets after one has stuffed themselves with way more food than was good for one. But Sofia looked at the gentle pastel white of the roof top a couple of feet above her head that marked the ceiling of our travel adventuring wagon and sighed.

"Come now Sofi," I suggested. "Could it have been any other way?"

"Doesn't mean I'm not disappointed," she replied. "But I guess you're right." She snuggled up to me and put her hand on my heart. "I bet tons of guys I could drink them under the table," she continued. "And I won all of them. But of all the bets I've made, the one I've loved winning the most was this one."

"Really?" I said. "What about all those drinks you would get from the rude nord boys who though they were going to get you into their beds at the end of the night?"

"Oh the drinks were great," she said. "But I didn't get to make love at the end of it. Nor did I get to adventure while I was doing it." Then she lifted her head and looked into my eyes and I realized that little girl she kept under lock and key was getting to peak out at me. "Nor did I get to do it with someone who loves me so very much," she softly said. Then she slapped that little girl down and gave me her typical 'I'm Sofia, worship me' expression. "And I loved mocking you at the end of it too." she smiled. "And you took it so well. I mean I almost felt guilty doing my victory dance. But I said almost. I will do it again the next time you take me on."

"One of these days," I said. "I'll make a bet with you when I've not had a couple of glasses of Alto Wine in me and you will lose it. But not yet. Besides, you're happy now and that makes it worth losing a thousand bets and enduring a thousand Sofia victory dances. Because even when you beat me I win something," I added with a sly grin. "You bounce so nicely in certain spots on your body when you do your victory dance."

"You pervert!" she accused.

"Not with my wife I'm not," I retorted.

Her face became gentle again for a moment. "It was a wonderful honeymoon . . . My love . . . But it's time to go home," she said.

We kissed once and then I started to throw off the blankets so we might get dressed, do a review of the wagon and horses, resupply, and prepare for the ride home. Once that was done, we began the winding road back to Solitude. But once we passed Markarth the road turned to the east and south and I knew it would be going straight for a while, I put the reins down, pulled out my lute, and gave Sofia a slip of paper with lyrics on it.

"What's this?" she asked.

"A song I wrote on and off while we were doing this," I answered. "You know how you like to hum that melody from Morrowind that's so haunting?"

"Yeah?"

"I wrote lyrics to it. I thought we would learn to sing it as a duet to pass the time."

She picked up the paper and looked at it while I began to strum the old melody on my lute. It's a rather popular melody, In Cyrodiil they play it as an orchestral piece with violins and brass thrumming the tune and harmonies. In Skyrim, they chant to it, but I always like the Morrowind version, it's quite and contemplative. And lends itself to gentle singing.

Sofia sang the melody and I sang the harmony, and once I got her to quit substituting words on impulse, it sounded like this . . .

"Mountain flowers,  
Climbing vines,  
Loving hands of the divines,  
Placid lakes,  
Rapid streams,  
Steaming like a girl's dreams,  
It's my own land,  
My home land,  
These vales I'm within,  
My Skyrim.

Noble Jarls,  
Housecarls bold,  
In the halls of every hold,  
Inns to greet,  
Chanting bards,  
And the tall steadfast guards,  
It's my own land,  
My home land,  
This tundra I'm in,  
My Skyrim,  
My Skyrim."

We were just getting the song polished when Sofia squeaked and put her hands upon her belly.

"Sofi?" I queried. I will admit I was almost beginning to panic. But the expression on her face was surprise, and not a little joy.

"My baby," she whispered looking at me with almost wonder. "I felt my baby move."

"Really?" I said. It was almost surreal. First children pregnancies almost always are you know. You really don't comprehend them coming until they are bawling in your ear.

"Like a little feather inside of me," she whispered.

And then she hugged me.

* * *

"And so your mommy drank from the River of Happy Juice and we slept under a candy tree and when we woke up, we took the wagon back home singing songs and lived happily ever after," I finished.

Freya was breathing deeply asleep under the arms of Serana. Sofia came back down the stairs and picked up her seventh mug and drained it.

"Harkon and Elisif are in bed asleep," she suggested.

"Baldor?"

"Still outside and nowhere I can see from the windows or porch or street," she added annoyed. "He's going to get a beating this time. I've had it with his irresponsibility. He needs to learn fear."

I mused for a moment. "I think Seri and I will handle the fear part if you will handle the beating."

"Oh?" She queried.

"If you will be the mother I've come to love and cherish and put our second daughter to bed, Auntie Nibbles will don her fangs and I will don my evil overlord cape and hood and we will go gently into the night to spread fear and terror in the youth of Solitude."

"Just like old times," suggested Seri with a little grin that would have, once upon a time, shown a pair of very long and sharp teeth. "This will be fun," she added.

"Okay," Sofia said. And there was a little smile on her face.

I walked upstairs and pulled out a black leather cloak I had secured off a vampire once upon a time in one of the various fights during my days of adventure. Good clothing is expensive and the ancient days of unpredicted and sudden poverty had taught me to save anything of value. It had a good hood on it which went low over the head, the better to shield the sensitive eyes from the glare of the sun. You might suggest that the dragon scale helm would have been more scary, but this was Baldor remember? He had seen and played in that dragon helm when he was a child and accordingly would have immediately recognized his dad and Auntie Nibbles. The hoods and clothing were essential to maintaining the disguise.

I got back down to the foyer where the main door opened onto the side porch which would lead to the main street which ran from the Blue Palace to the Castle Dour. Serana was waiting for me. And she was dressed to stalk. Her hood and cape only left her eyes visible. And she had that stare down pat. You never forget those skills you know. Damn she looked both scary and hot at the same time. It's amazing how you can be married to a wonderful looking woman who never ceases to amaze you with her beauty, and then you run into another one who can look just as good but in an entirely different way.

"I've never been able to do this with Aurelian because he didn't find out I had been a vampire until about five years ago," she said. "And while I admit that I will, for amusement, stalk late night revelers in the Imperial City, it's more fun if you can do it with someone you care about."

"You've never tried to teach him?"

"He's way too stuffy for that," she giggled. "And dignified. But that's what makes him look so yummy at the parties in the Imperial City. He dresses so good I have to tie my hands down."

"So who did you stalk with that made it so special?" I asked.

"Mom and Dad," she replied. "We would have so much fun when we were first changed over."

Yes, even a former vampire can freak you out until you get used to the mindset that the condition induces. We slipped into the shadows, and after Serana passed on a few tips on how to move like a Vampire in the shadows, we sent the children of Solitude home screaming in terror to beds filled with future nightmares of what they thought they had seen on this dark night.

And hour or so later we came back quietly giggling, brushing each other's cheeks in proper Imperial fashion, and she slipped into Jordis' room where she was staying for the time. She noted her own bed, Jordis asleep, and with a sly grin, glanced under Jordis' bed, reminding me again of once upon a time. Then she closed the door and I went upstairs.

I found my bedroom door locked.

"Sofi?" I asked.

"Just a moment," she said quietly. "Wait until I say you can come in."

If you think that's an odd thing for a woman to say, you've not been married sufficiently long to understand that they have reasons for doing this. So I waited, even after the click of the lock being removed was heard.

"Okay," she said.

I walked in and stopped to gaze at her.

She was lying on the bed dressed in a linen nightgown. A little sheer fabric covering the skin in the moonlight does wonders for presenting the physic while hiding the sags gravity inflicts upon the muscles and skin over time.

"Your story brought back some memories," she suggested smiling. She glowed with gentle moonlight, and even though the moons were just waning crescents in the low eastern horizon, I knew why she was so illumined. For on her neck was an enchanted triple strand chain of silver and gold, woven with pearls, amethysts, sapphires, a pair of rubies, garnets, and single diamond in the middle.

Not every tale I tell is entirely fictional you see.


	42. Chapter 42 - Honeywine Author's Notes

**Author's Notes On The Honeywine**

What is there to say about Sofia? She's one of the funnest characters I've ever had the privilege to run off with and write about. Boastful, self-absorbed, socially awkward, totally lacking in discretion, and entirely taken with the Dragonborn and refusing to recognize that. But like every character, she is going to develop as she ages and matures. So in Honeymoon we have a slightly more secure Sofia more at ease with her relationship with Valentine. She's just a little more honest with herself and a little less abrasive. But likewise we get to see a side of her not seen prior, the girl on a mission side. I found it interesting that the reviewers were certain Valentine was going to lose, but they also had a suspicion that Sofia was not going to win. But I knew Sofia was going to win this one from the get go.

I've already mentioned that this story sprang from a single innocently stated comment by John Jarvis on the Nexus Forums between advice to players who could not understand why Sofia won't marry them. But likewise if there had not been the song The Big Rock Candy Mountain from American Folk Lore, I never would have been able to visualize the Honeywine Vale. My original idea for the song which Aia sings was to be a variation of that song which would follow the melody and rhythm. There are several clever lines in that song "There's a lake of stew, and whisky too, and you paddle around it in a big canoe." a Hobo's paradise where the bulldogs have rubber teeth and the cops have wooden legs. Where the cigarette trees grow in profusion and the hand outs grow on bushes. And the nice thing about the idea was that it's perfectly consistent with Skyrim Lore yet Valentine is not being a fool when he is initially skeptical. But I did not wish to spend the time listening to The Big Rock Candy mountain sufficiently to get the melody down mentally to be able to write the lyrics to that tune. It's a busy time in the store right now and in spite of those who claim otherwise, you can't multi-task. I can listen to a You-Tube recording of an old gramophone record, or I can take care of customers. Customers give me the money I need to keep my wife fed and she get's crabby when she's hungry. Hard to imagine I'm sure but that's just who she is.

So I did the next best thing and simply wrote a poem which stuck to a syllable rhythm that would lend itself to any number of melodies someone more familiar with actual musical composition would be able to fit it into. It's one of those curious qualities of how I learn things. While I started out my higher education in the conservatory, I discovered, much to my horror and confusion, that I could not hear the subtle differences between major and minor intervals nor could I remember exact pitches. The net result was that I could not write music in the way composition majors could, that is, hearing the chords when they wrote the music on the paper. While I know that's what they can do, which is why my character S'nae D'Vreeze (See Silvered Dancer) is able to do it with complete competence and certainty, I can't. It's even more curious because I can improvise harmonies when I sing along with friends and families. Coupled with the fact that my fingers can not operate independently making it next to impossible to play sophisticated pieces on the piano, I was sunk since I was counting on mastering Music Theory to make the Conservatory major work at college. Needless to say I left the conservatory my Sophomore year and found that I was way better at literature and history because I can tell stories and memorize them swiftly. To this day I can freak my wife out with my recollection of movie plots we saw twenty years ago.

Even so, my ability to write lyrics has improved since I set forth on this little fan fic enterprise, which is why you see so many little songs and ditties in this last bit. I'm able to write them faster now. That Morrowind melody I wrote at the end came to me in a flash of an idea and it only took me about 45 minutes to pound it out. Whether or not the readers will think they are actually good remains a matter for honest debate, but at least I can write them faster now.

So that being said, I got ideas from all over the place.

Raising daughters and being with families who were raising their own broods gave me plenty of gist for the kids as well as the very real fact that you don't let children in on all the adult behaviors. So Valentine sanitizes the story for his children. The sudden shift from innocent children's story to adult commentary is part of the comic element culminating in Martin's innocent query, "Did mommy kiss it to make it better." I don't know how children's hurts and bruises are dealt with in other cultures, but where I grew up, your mother always kissed the bang, scrap, cut, or burn to 'make it better'. It did nothing to alleviate the pain but it did let you know she loved you which helped over time. One mother who was reviewing the story openly informed me she lost it at that point.

The line "I'll have what she's having' is a direct rip off from an old film which was from the nineties. In the film the actress fakes an orgasm for her best friend (a guy she'll eventually fall in love with) sitting across the table from her in a restaurant and of course everyone is looking at her somewhat unsettled. Then an older woman looks at the waiter and says that line. Too much blood getting into the alcohol stream is an old comic insult which was bandied about on TV when I was a kid.

One of the things that Sofia does in the stories is making various sorts of squeals, groans, and other various noises. I've heard all of them at various circumstances, many of which are not R rated, but some are. Sofia stroking the face of Valentine is also something I personally experienced with my very first girlfriend, a girl from Stockholm, Sweden who saw me walking past her as I was heading for the stage and she made inquiries. She is the only woman that has ever done that to me but she would spend hours just caressing my face while I lay in her lap. When she got back to Sweden she sent me a Christmas photo which was black and white with her looking down wearing an expression on her face which suggested her pet cat had just died on the floor. Otherwise her christmas cards would be foggy streets with little color. If there are happy people in Sweden, I've not met them. Those of you who are into the Mods of Skyrim might point out that Vilja is Swedish and I freely admit that she sounds like a very happy girl. But remember, she's fictional and I don't know Emma, the modder who voiced her. So I stand by my original statement for I've met other people from Sweden since.

One of the fun things about living out in the countryside is that you have a lot of nature to witness. For those of you who have heard of the so called custom of Cow Tipping which American Farm boys are supposed to do, I must disappoint you with the information that this is an urban legend invented by people who have no clue about cows. Having watched them for close to fourteen years across the barbed wire fence from the house I grew up in, I can assure you that they are very much aware of movement around them and they will wake up and never let you get close enough to them to so much lay a hand on them let alone 'tip' them. When we were young lads and lassies, we did try. To sneak up on them that is. We never heard of cow tipping until we got into the big city and were told that was what we liked to do late at night. Likewise, you're looking at a creature who is quite capable of standing on four feet and they don't 'fall over' easily. Even if you had one of them relaxed (and heavily sedated) enough to allow you to approach them you would discover that you would need a battering ram at an elevation of about five feet and a good solid head start before you could hope to actually stagger one, let alone tip them over. These are creatures who will total your car if you drive into one of them. But you can hit them in the back with a tossed pop bottle (or beer bottle) and they will scamper forward.

So that's what Sofia does.

The tender moment by the waterfalls after lovemaking I'm rather fond of. It's one of the few times we get to see Sofia honest enough with herself and Valentine that we get to hear the entire romance from her side of the perspective. I had Honor Bright beta read it with one question, "Can you see a woman thinking like this?" She affirmed that she knew several who thought like Sofia thinks in her relating of her gradual falling in love with Valentine. It's always tricky because being a male, I am slightly wired differently. I do have one advantage though. Our family heavily favors the estrogen side of the equation. There are 11 women and 6 men in the clan. So I've gotten to see a lot of women behaving normally around family which is where you see the real person. I always kind of envision Sofia being somewhat surprised at the fact that the Dragonborn actually does love her. So in the end, she gets a little emotional, and then she shoves her little girl back down and the shields come back up. I remember one of my girlfriends who prided herself in the fact that she was NOT romantic. Never could understand why she took that as a point of pride but she was also rather immature and when things blew up, as they always do at some point, she was not prepared to do the necessary things to fix the relationship. Needless to say she dashed into the arms of what I thought was my friend and six years later called me up to tell me she was a silly girl for shoving me out of her life (after that one fell apart six weeks before they were supposed to get married) and then she heard my first daughter singing to her mother in the background over the phone. Her vocal response was the sort that, if I had been looking for vengeance, would have fit the bill. Needless to say, I had cared for her deeply so there was an entirely different sort of emotions running through my head. Word of advice to all you friends of someone's boy or girl friend. When they start to complain, regardless of what they are claiming, do not advise them to break it up. Instead, ask them what they are doing to make it better, regardless of what they are claiming. You would be surprised at how many things are made up in these circumstances. Don't give them sympathy. You can, by meaning well, wreak a potentially good relationship because you vindicate someone's immaturity. And before you advise anything, contact the boy or girl friend and get their side of the story as well.

My brother went to Africa to build a school when he was in college. It was one of those college projects which our family likes engaging in, when we are not fighting the slave trade. He was busy with his friends and school mates and looked up to see about a dozen African men watching them. This went on for several days, with different African men dropping by to just watch them when finally he walked up to one of them, offered him a cigarette, and asked him why they were always hanging about. The African confessed he had never seen a white man work before and didn't know we could.

So naturally when Sofia does research in the Mage's College, J'zargo, having confirmed that she is in fact engaged in genuine research, tells everyone about it, makes bets that it's true and they all show up to see for themselves Sofia actually being a real student. Since Sofia could not say "Take a picture it will last longer" and remain in lore, she suggests they draw a sketch. The fact that one of them does comes from another movie where the two young kids do just that.

The Heimskr story comes from an old American Folk Tale called Dye Fry, but apparently it is found in other cultures as well. There are some stories which are found at opposite sides of the globe that are exact duplicates of each other and you can't help but suspect that it was a story which was told by the original tribe somewhere up in the Caucasus back around 8,000 BC. I am an avid collector of folk tales and have about 2,00o in my personal library. Since it is a folk tale, I have Valentine entertain Sofia with it and then ask her if it will work as a tale to tell to the courts. We are reminded that Valentine is a bard.

When John Jarvis put in the marriage section of the Sofia mod after I had written the first story arc, the priest who performs the ceremony complains that Sofia was supposed to deliver a love letter. She hires the town drunk to do it and the letter get's dropped and muddied and the woman is so insulted she will have nothing more to do with the Priest. Having already had them wake up married thanks to the Night To Remember Quest which gets you Sanguine's Rose, I was unable to use that portion of the mod. What I did do however was make sure Sofia sends a letter by means of a town drunk and Valentine is the one who gets it. Then I make sure that the smears and smudges from the drunken stagger drops make the letter seem to be ruder than it actually is. I actually wrote the genuine letter first, and then then deliberately made a few cuts, and when some other rude ideas presented themselves, I adjusted the second letter a little and then revamped the smudged version.

There was a beer fast which the monks of the Middle Ages would perform in some places since good stout beer does possess nutritional value. So for the 40 days of lent some monasteries would only drink beer. Recently a blogger duplicated the fast to see what it was like. He was really glad when the fast was over with and he was able to eat something a little more solid. So when Valentine asks Orgnar what Sofia ate, he replies that she drank the Stout Ale. Of course given this is Sofia we're talking about, there is that humor in the comment.

Deliberately wearing the wedding dress which Sofia tried to incinerate the morning she woke up and discovered she was married to Valentine is another one of those little signals that she is beginning to own up with herself that she really does love Valentine and genuinely is happy at the outcome of that little misadventure. And we also begin to see that Valentine is quite willing to lose the bet since he deliberately snatches defeat out of the very jaws of victory. But likewise Valentine is showing that for him, the adventure and honeymoon with Sofia itself is the important thing. He is once again 'loving' Sofia by sacrificing his chance to claim victory. Of course he's sort of hiding behind the fact that he does not want to have her posing for that oil painting, but it really would not be that hard to find an alternative now would it? But genuine love requires sacrifice, serious sacrifice not just of property, but of self. Valentine is once again doing it right and this makes the relationship just a little more believable since there are very few women who would not see this as a genuine sign of real love. And given who Sofia is, she needs to see those sorts of signs on a regular basis.

And finally that rather risqué suggestion at the end of the chapter is just my illustration of how a loving couple likes to have moments which are intimate, but not entirely sexual. Because they fall asleep like that. Nothing more happens. And that's the point, it's just one of those little things that couples do which is just intimate enough that only they can do that with each other. And that's what makes it special. Valentine however does leave you wondering.

When the monks cast the drunk spell on Sofia I confess I go entirely off lore. The t-shirt line really has a whole lot of experiences packed in behind it besides the fact that it struck me as somewhat funny. First of all, back when I was a lad, there wasn't a tourist spot in America that didn't sell T-shirts as souvenirs. A constant was the t-shirt which said "My mom/dad/uncle/aunt/best friend/grandmother went to Miami/Six Flags/Disneyland/Manitou/Time's Square/Compton Park/Niagara Falls and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." Suffice to say, my sister began to sum up the things she had done before with the phrase "Been there, done that, got the t-shirt" and shortly thereafter the whole family was summing things up with that phrase. So why put that in Skyrim? Well back when Oblivion first came out and the Nexus was Tesnexus there was a modder who made a rather amusing little mod which put about 200 plus t-shirts all over Cyrodiil which your character could find and wear. Suffice to say I had Sofia initially say, "Been there, done that, won the wet t-shirt contest . . . naturally." since given her personality I can see her claiming something of that nature. But I thought it was too wordy and a little too out of lore so I trimmed it.

But note I said claim. This is where the psychology of Sofia gets interesting and why she's fun to write about. Would Sofia actually be in a wet t-shirt contest? On the surface, it seems like a given. She's not afraid of tossing her dress when she's in a drunk flush. She's openly bragged about being the most beautiful woman in Skyrim and she specifically states that she would win any beauty contest she would enter. BUT . . . She never lists her achievements in that regards. In fact, the only time she observes that she's clearly the most attractive woman is when she's in Rorikstead and then she specifies 'in Rorikstead.' And there is no competition in Rorikstead. The pretty girls in Skyrim are elsewhere. In short, while she's not particularly modest she does not actually state a specific victory in a particular place. And this is a persistent with everything she brags about. When she's claiming to list her heroic accomplishments, she's suddenly stuck for an example. "I'm sure there's something," she insists. So we're left uncertain. John has not enlightened us in that regard. As for me, I'm of the opinion that she probably does not want to take that risk since she could lose the contest, but if she did enter such a contest and lose? I would not be surprised if she ambushed the winner shortly thereafter and beat the crap out of her.

When it was clear that Valentine and Sofia were going to find a monastery with a Drunken Master one of the reviewers suggested I was about to put Jackie Chan into the story. I found that so funny I sent a message back which asked if I could steal the idea. They replied they would be disappointed if I didn't so I googled Jackie Chan, looked at all the pictures of him that I could and describe the Wise Old Monk in such a fashion that he could be Jackie Chan. I had originally planned to simply describe him as a wise old monk.

Believe it or not there really is a drunken mastery style of martial arts. Which is why I was not afraid to put that into Skyrim. It seems perfectly in line with the lore to connect it to the worship of Sanguine.

The floor flip trap is well known in the Orient so I put that in as a variation from the typical Skyrim traps. That and the fact that this is an Akaviri style tower. Orient floor traps do not necessarily have starving predator animals waiting at the bottom but that is an old cliche. And with that in mind I did a few more pokes at cliches in general before I wrapped the story up with Sofia victorious and Valentine taking it in stride because Sofia is also happy and that's what is most important for him.

Writing about Sofia is exhausting. The character simply does not stop. I've made references in the past about the Skyrim Quest A Daedra's Best Friend which takes place before they end up married and you get the impression that they had a few fights about it, but if I actually spin a tale from it I can't say. Right now I've got other irons in the fire that I want to make some progress on but we'll see. Sofia is one of those personalities who gets rather insistent and she'll nag me until I get it done if I'm not careful.

Besides, John and Christine are not yet done with the mod and something that Sofia does in the mod may trigger another story as well. Several things are in there which I've not yet experienced myself so who knows.

This next chapter is what I call the Outtakes, ideas which I played with but did not put into the story itself for various reasons. Since each one of them was spawned from an idea, I've posted them simply because new writers need examples. And hopefully they are amusing in and of themselves.

But otherwise, for the time being, the story is done.

This from Jack


	43. Chapter 43 - The Outtakes

**The Out-takes**

_I call these out-takes because they are either ideas I never developed while I was writing the fan fic, scenes which sprang out at me after I had finished the fic and had no place to insert them prior to publication, or just little notions and ideas which popped out and I thought would be fun to read. I'm posting these for two reasons, first to give young writers more examples of where ideas come from and second, because they are hopefully humorous._

* * *

**A Marital Duet**

Viarmo sat down next to Lisette while Inge and Giraud were leaning against the wall. Aia was sipping her glass of wine in the corner. Jordis had just taken our three children out for a stroll in the spring afternoon that was Solitude. Ostensibly they were going to look for flowers to decorate the table for tomorrow's gala. Jarl Elisif was having a little celebration to announce that she would accept Falk's proposal for marriage. But for this evening, the Bardic college was gathering in Proudspire for a few drinks and brief discussion on what this year's Burning of King Olaf Festival should have. We had done some preliminary business but I had decided we needed a break from the serious discussions and I was in a mood to be a little silly.

"So Valentine, you say you came up with this a few nights ago?" began Viarmo.

"Pretty much," I said. "It's not for the poetic edda by a long shot, but the boys in the taverns will get a kick out of it."

"And the wives especially," added Sofia grinning while her fingers gently taped the skin of the drum in a rapid cadence.

"It's not often we see the two of you sing a duet," observed Lisette. "What brought this on?"

"An argument," suggested Sofia.

"Just a little one," I suggested. "Only three plates, two cups, and a chair were broken."

The bardic college gave each other glances. Some of our knock down drag outs were rumored to drift through the open windows of the house on hot summer's evenings and everyone in the college could hear the insults and shouts and accusations and occasional thumps of bodies colliding across the plaza. Of course I exaggerate. The thumps of bodies colliding usually happens when we are making up with a playful wrestle.

I note the skepticism in your faces. You'll just have to accept that no further elaboration is forthcoming.

I began to play the accompaniment on the lute while Sofia paddled the rhythm on the drum. And I sang the first stanza while she responded on the second line. And the song went something like this . . .

Me : I don't take no crap from anybody else,  
_Sophia: But me._  
Me: I wear the pants around here!  
_Sofia: When you're finished with the laundry._  
'Cause I'm a guy you don't want to fight!  
_When he says "jump" I say "yeah, right"._  
I'm the man of this house!  
_Until I get home._

What I say goes around here!  
_Right out the window._  
And I don't want to hear a lot of whining!  
_So you'll shut up._  
The sooner you learn who's boss around here!  
_The sooner I can give you your orders, dear._  
'Cause I am the head honcho!  
_But it's all in his head._

And I can have sex anytime!  
_That I want._  
'Cause I'm a man who has needs!  
_But they're not that important._  
And don't expect any flowers from me!  
_Because you've learned by now I prefer jewelry._  
I'm the king of my castle!  
_When I'm not around._

And I'll bet on the racing pools whenever I want!  
_To get into trouble._  
And I'll come home when I'm good and ready!  
_To sleep on the couch._  
Because a man's got to do what a man's got to do!  
_And you're going to do what I tell you to._  
Because I'm top dog around here!  
_But he's been neutered!_

_Sean Morey is a comedian who wrote this silly little song a few years ago which I encountered when a Muppet sang it on a You Tube. Suffice to say The Man Song struck me as the sort of song Valentine would write when in a whimsical mood as a duet between him and Sofia. So this is a little short written to illustrate how Valentine and Sofia would perform such a piece. The playful thumping noises idea came from the newlywed couple who lived in the apartment above the shop last year. And yes, it was wrestling, there's a difference. *grins*  
_

* * *

**Sofia's Attack Horse**

"So Sofia, how are you feeling right now?" I asked as we walked across the tundra towards Whiterun. Off in the distance the Jarl's Palace stood like a giant against the sky. The sun was just about set and it was looking like it would be a nice evening, that is if you liked just the weather. The fact that I still had not figured out how to get her affectionate towards me put a damper on what would have promised to be a really nice night. I sighed to myself. How do you get a girl to fall in love with you?

"Bored," she replied to my query. "Can't we do something a little more exciting like insulting a jarl or punching a sleeping dragon?" She paused. "Actually that's probably going a bit too far even for me."

I noticed something ahead and an idea presented itself. "You hungry?" I asked.

"Yes!" she said. "I'm so hungry I could even eat you . . . um . . . I mean in a non-perverted way of course."

"How about we make some Venison Stew?" I suggested. I had been tempted to say something else, but what? I have no intention of letting you know.

"You mean with the potatoes and carrots and salt pile?" Her faced lighted up a bit. Like most young girls she was more than capable of packing away the food, but when it came to cooking, if she thought I was expecting her to do it for the two of us, then I could expect a raw carrot and apple. I didn't know how to cook the good things, like Venison Stew, but she did. So how do you get a girl who won't cook Venison Stew if she thinks she's doing it for you to cook it? Simple, you insist on being the one to cook it and ask her how and she sits on the tree stump and tells you while taking quaffs of ale from a bottle or two you stashed away when she wasn't looking. You get the Venison Stew and she thinks she's the one in charge. I know how to be a deceitful little bastard and I'm proud of it too.  
"Of course!"

"Val," she continued. "How are we going to get the venison?"

"See that deer on the hill?"

"Val," she replied. "You can't sneak. And you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with that Hunter's Bow you have."

"I'd be doing it a lot better if you didn't keep adding commentary. How am I supposed to be sneaking up on something when you keep muttering things like . . ."

"Oh so you're going to tell me to wait here while you go and get it?" she accused me. "Oh don't worry, I'll just sit here like a good doggie unless I find someone better to stalk."

"I'm not leaving you, Sofia," I said as gently as I could in spite of my very prominent desire to just snark back. Her gaze softened for a moment. "I'm going to show you a trick with Illusion Magic."

"Oh?"

I turned with a grin and called up two spells. With my left hand I summoned up the Fury Spell. It was a useful spell. Have too many trouble makers down the hallway who will attack in masse the moment they see you? Cast a little fury spell and suddenly one of them thinks his companions really need to be killed right now. On a deer? It throws out every single herbivore survival trick lovingly given to it by Kynnareth and charges right at you thinking it's the Long Fanged Sabre Cat of the TUNNNNNdra. Then when it's good and charging you unleash with your right hand the fireball spell you just learned an hour ago, thanks to that now dead brigand adept in the fort you just cleared out.

And both spells went off with the skill that my magic had reached, that is, perfectly. This was my chance to shine. She would see where I really could adventure. I knew it was going to be perfect. Then she would say something like "Oh Valentine I didn't know you were so clever. Please take me now and be my lover forever." Yeah yeah over the top as usual, but these are the sorts of feelings that were going through my head in those early days. I really wanted to impress her and she was deucedly hard to impress since she was already convinced she was The Perfected One.

I watched that fireball sail from my hand like a loving child dashing from his father for the first time and head right for the charging deer. It would have been a beautiful blast . . . problem was that in the middle of this brief instant a creme colored nordic horse with battle neighs sung out charged right at that deer. The fireball hit and went off and there they were, a dead deer and dead horse.

"You JERK!" screamed Sofia. "You killed my horse!"

_Sofia's Horse always attacks creatures in the game so if you don't want yet another person or thing getting in the way of your spell or bow shots, you walk everywhere._

* * *

**Mehrune's Cat**

"Have you ever thought that our lives are just one big game?" began Sofia. We were laying in our sleeping furs under the stars. The late summer nights were still bright and warm enough that a tent was not necessary and besides, we were up on a set of rocks so that nothing of the normal predator type would be able to climb to get us. I really looked forward to these little camps we sometimes had to do and I will confess that sometimes I worked things so that we would not get back to an inn but would have to sleep out on the landscape. She would get a bottle or two of wine or mead from me which I had stashed in my backpack but she would not be able to get drunk, or get troublesome. And so we would settle down and then, just maybe, she would start to talk about what she was really thinking about. Granted it was mostly about herself but even so, I really liked these moments. We could just . . . talk. There would be no booze, no playing the guards off, no losing of clothing, no staggering about, no brawls. I kept thinking, if I could only get her to know me better, I would have a chance. I mean, it was times like this that I could on occasion make her laugh.

"How do you mean?" I asked.

"Like someone is sitting there playing with us like some adult play thing. And no I don't mean that kind of adult. It makes you think though."

"I don't see the Gods as doing that sort of thing," I reflected.

"I wasn't thinking of the Gods, or Daedra," clarified Sofia. "I was thinking of . . . Oh I don't know . . . Just that our lives and our world were not really . . . real."

I kind of chuckled.

"Don't laugh at me!" she snapped.

"I'm not laughing at you Sofia," I replied. "I am thinking that it's interesting that you said that because of the dream I had last night."

"Oh?" she asked. "What sort of dream?" She rolled on her side to better face me. The moons weren't full but the whole night was illumined by the faint glow and she just looked so enchanting under them.

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"No."

I sighed but pressed forward. "I dreamed," I began. "That I was looking at someone who was looking at me. He was a middle aged guy, in clothing that seemed to be way more colorful than anything I had seen save on the Jarls. It was kind of worn, especially around the knees, but it was clean. Really clean. Like it was brand new clean. He had grey hair and grey eyes and was clean shaven. He was in a wood paneled room with this strange white fur upon the floor, or moss. The consistency of it was a cross between a loose weave like you get on those thick woolen blankets and a bed of moss under a tree. The lights were clearly magical since they seemed to glow with no flickering you would find with candles, oil lamps, or torches. He was seated in a green leather covered chair . . ."

"Green leather? White fur floor? He was either rich or must have a lot of slaves to keep that stuff clean," mused Sofia.

"Yeah," I added. "He was wearing black leather shoes too, but they were cut like peasant shoes, not the high boots of the Jarls and Thanes in the courts. So I wasn't sure how wealthy he was. And the desk he was seated on was a cheap wood and had big gouges on the sides of it like things had been rubbed and had splintered the edges. But what was on it was . . . Well that's what was really magical or strange."

"Yes?" continued Sofia. There was a lilt in her voice which suggested she was intrigued. I was encouraged so I pressed on trying to remember as much of the dream as I could so that I could weave it into a story.

There was a big silver covered box on one side of the table. It wasn't silver, just silver colored and there was a red symbol on it and then a little line on it which . . . Well I did not recognize the runes but I got the impression that this was the box's name."

"He had a box with a name?"

"Yes, he had named that box."

"What?"

"I don't know, I couldn't read the runes," I sighed.

"What did he do with the box?"

"I don't know that either, but it was making a low windy noise. Like a breeze was blowing through it. But he was doing things, three things."

"Three?"

"Yes; first, he had his left hand on a board which had all these little black buttons on it. He kept pressing those buttons, particularly on the left side. Then he had his right hand on an oval bar which he would just slightly shift on a blue mat. And he was looking through this window and that, Sofia, was where the dream really got strange."

"Yes?" She was literally leaning forward now, almost to where I could have reached over and put my hand that that divine face of hers. I so wanted to do that too. There were days when I almost ached to make her mine.

He was looking through a window that was not on the wall, but just mounted on a base. But Sofia? That window opened up on Skyrim. I could see me walking down the trail that is on the north side of the Throat of the World. And while I could not see you, I was able to hear you talking."

"What was I saying," she asked.

"You were talking about how you found the phrase milk-drinker confusing. You were recounting on how you drink milk, but also mead and reminded me you were as tough as any nord. Or something like that."

"Well yeah. I drink both so what does that make me?"

"It makes you Sofia," I replied. "Unique and pretty among Nords."

She paused. "That didn't sound like an insult. Did you just compliment me?"

"Yeah I did," I said.

"Okay," she replied. No thank you's no you're sweets no nothings. I mean really, what's the point of telling a girl she's pretty or clever or unique if she simply takes it as her due and shows no appreciation? I still am amazed at how utterly in love I was with her at this time. My only excuse was that she was there every morning, showering me with abuse for the most part but still, she was there. "So what about this guy who's watching you through the window and listening to me."

"That was when his cat came in."

"His cat?"

"Yes his cat. Who hopped up on his lap and settled down and he began to rub the cat's head."

"Val if this gets sappy and sentimental I'm going to roll over and try to get to sleep."

"No No, Sofia, this wasn't any ordinary cat, this was Mehrune's Cat."

"What?"

"Yes, clearly Mehrune's Cat for just as he was relaxing and not worrying about things that cat jumped out of his lap and landed on that flat board with all the buttons."

"So? What does that do?"

"Well that's where it gets freaky Sofia," I said. "I saw myself suddenly turn to the right and charge off that cliff with a flying leap and I fell three hundred feet, slamming against the sides of the cliffs and I knew I was dead. I just knew it. I could hear my death grunts as the pressure of the impact blew the breath out of my lungs." I paused for a moment. "Then I woke up this morning and I could swear I had woken up already before, but I couldn't remember why. Just the same, I decided I didn't want to be anywhere near the Throat of the World today."

"You dreamed that," she said quietly. "And you thought you had already woken up before."

"Yeah," I replied. "I dreamed that someone was watching me and a black cat came in and did something that killed me. And I had lived this day before. Or part of it anyway . . . until I had died." I turned to her and just looked at her. And she looked at me, her eyes were getting as big as saucers. Then she tried to steal a quick glance at the sky. And then she turned back to me.

"Would you think me forward if I suddenly confessed that I needed to be held right now?" she asked.

"I'd be the perfect gentleman," I suggested. Inside of me however that little voice was screaming "YES!"

She slipped out her sleeping furs and slipped into mine and the next thing I knew she was holding on to me like she was convinced she would fall up and into the sky if she let go. I leaned back on my back and she rested her head on my shoulder and put her right hand over my heart.

"Don't get any ideas," she warned.

I was sorely tempted to say, "I've already implemented them and they worked," but that wouldn't be true. But of course, I was almost in Sovngarde with delight. Having her like this next to me was more than I could have ever imagined before. I was sure we'd be kissing in the morning. We weren't of course, she got out of the furs later and crawled back into her own after spending a couple of hours with me. But I'd never even been able to do that with a woman before.

Needless to say I tried to come up with equally freaky dreams to provoke her into wanting me to hold her again over the next week or so. But apparently, the real dream was the only one that ever worked.

I never was able to figure out why I had that one. Nor why I kept thinking I had lived that day over once before.

_The cat we have is very fond of sitting in my lap while I play games and then gets up and walks all over the desk frequently during very tense moments of game play. Sitting on the keyboard or mousepad is pretty routine for him. He has not only triggered events in computer games by the keys he presses, but has been known to knock over drinks onto the keyboard. I refer to him as The Gamer Cat. He's entirely black save for some stray white hairs. He is the runt of the litter of my daughter's cat Peanut who likes to claw my knees when she wants to be let out - once again during boss monster fights - and he is known as Inky._

* * *

**Bumper-horses**

I reined in my horse and looked ahead. There he was, a Black Hand assassin on the other side of the bridge crouched down in his attack mode. I pulled out my bow and dribbled a bit of paralysis poison on the tip and waited for him to make his first move. Within a few seconds he was moving across that bridge towards me, swift and certain, orc's sword in one hand and dagger in the other. He had a furry tail so he clearly was Khajit. I lifted my bow and aimed, and the arrow flew perfectly. And it would have hit too, instead of burying itself in the tree nearly entirely on my right. For just as I had let the arrow fly, my horse had decided it didn't want to be facing the road, but rather the woods.

"Damn it," I screamed as I heeled the horse to send it forward for the Assassin was almost on me. "Learn to rein in that horse of yours before it slams into my horse's backside Sofi!"

_Again, Sofia's horse does not stop and slams into the back of your horse knocking it almost ninety degrees to the right or left, usually as you are getting ready to shoot a grizzly bear charging you._

* * *

**Val and Sofia's New Matching Armor Set**

"So what's this armor design again?" queried Serana, looking at me as I wiped the sweat off my brow finishing up the last of the leather lacings on my set.

"The designer's name was Tera," I replied. "I made two sets of the same pattern. One is for Sofia and one is for me. She's in Jordis's room with Jordis putting on her set right now. And if you like how it looks on her I'll make a set for you. I can even dye it in your favorite colors too."

"You're such a sweetie," she mused.

"Nothing sentimental about it," I replied with a grin working myself into it. "Better armor means you are less likely to end up a pile of dust on the ground."

I slipped the last of the pieces on over my torso and pulled the gauntlets on. I stepped back.

"How do I look?" I asked.

"I like the golden sheen," she admitted. "And it really frames your chest nicely. You're looking good enough to eat right about now." And she smiled just enough to show the tips of her fangs. "Not that I would be able to do that with your entire body encased so well."

"I guess that's the best compliment I can hope for from a vampire girl," I replied with a bit of nervous chuckle.

"I'm ready," came a rather mischievous sing song pronouncement from Sofia.

"Let's see how it looks on you Sofi!" said Serana. She once again looked at my set and seemed to appreciate the lines of the design. I suspected she wanted to try the style on herself.

Sofia sauntered, yes I literally mean sauntered, out of Jordis's bedroom and leaned against the door frame with a 'here I am boys' expression of purest vanity. Behind her was Jordis with a very annoyed look upon her face. Serana on the other hand, had eyes wide as muffins and was holding both her hands over a hanging jaw open mouthed gasp.

"My thane!" stated Jordis with an ultimatum tone in the voice. "If you ever try to make me wear something like THAT I shall walk out of this house and straight up to the Jarl's palace and tender my resignation!"

"Iyah . . . Iyah . . . Iyah . . ." I began. I mean I liked what I was seeing but I had not anticipated that view at all. "How did THIS!" I exclaimed, slapping my own armored chest. "Turn into that!" And here I gestured with both hands at the armor (if you can call it that) she was attired (if you can call it that) in.

"You don't like it?" queried Sofia, somewhat genuinely surprised.

"I LOVE it!" I insisted. And I did to, I mean she was looking so damned desirable I was having a hard time not breathing like some old pervert looking through the window of a girl's dormatory at bed time. "You know I think your physic is practically flawless already. I just wasn't expecting such a view in a set of armor."

"No doubt about it," mused Serana. "You do look good in dweemer gold plated pasties and g-string. But I don't see the protective value at all. Nor do I think I want to wear such an outfit."

"Well of course, I do look better in it that you would," agreed Sofia.

_It is not an uncommon thing that an armor mod looks perfectly reasonable and rational on a guy but transforms into a burlesque costume when worn by a woman. One of the more popular of these are the Tera mods (hence the name of the designer) So naturally Valentine, being the naive sort he is, not to mention the violation of common sense these armor mods suggest, makes two sets of what he thinks are normal armor only to have Sofia's set transform into something extremely skimpy when she puts it on._


	44. Chapter 44 - My Name is Sofia

_As is so often the case, story arcs start for reasons which you never anticipate. I had been playing around with the idea of doing an arc from Sofia's point of view and while I was playing around with that idea, I sent a thank you to Christine, the vocal actress for the mod. I felt she deserved some token of appreciation since it was her acting skills that were pretty much what spun this story from me. But I've said that before. She responded, I responded to the respond, and the next thing I knew, we were talking about stuff and discovering we have an awful lot in common._

_But what was most important about this story arc, is that she wants to write._

_So as this story began to jell, I asked her to give it a full beta read and what's more, hack out anything which was not 100% pure Sofia. Since she's voiced all the lines, I knew she'd have a far greater insight into the mind of this character than I could hope._

_So with instructions to be brutally honest she plowed in and lines have been cut, new one's added, paragraphs shifted, spelling errors corrected, and I'm impressed. Especially since English is not her native language. And in the process, I've gotten a new friend. Who'd have thunk it?_

* * *

Hi, my name is Sofia Florian, but you probably already knew that. I'm pretty well known in Tamriel, though it probably isn't for all of the right reasons, or at least it used to be that way. That was before I met Valentine. It's not that I wasn't heroic. You see it's not easy becoming famous and loved when there's no one important to witness your great deeds such as destroying the World Eater Alduin, or saving all of Nirn from eternal darkness and death. But once the Dragonborn became entirely smitten with me, which was only appropriate I suppose, my fighting spirit and divine good looks could get noticed.

Of course you all know how much Valentine loves me. What can I say? Of course it wasn't easy for him to win me over. I wasn't going to just fall on my back and brush my toes on the ceiling of the wagon because he smiled at me. I made sure he worked like a dog before I let him do that. And he had to marry me too. Not that I would have given him the time of day if he hadn't already come up to my standards. But I've always had a sense of greatness and so once I noticed him back when I was using that now skewered horse thief Lokir for a little fun and amusement, I knew he was going to be the winner I needed.

Now of course you might be wondering why Valentine isn't narrating this particular piece of my adventures with him. Well, he's never really taken being heroic seriously enough. I've always been of the opinion that it is vitally important that the little people have someone to look up to, like me for example. And Valentine totally lacks that drive and ambition to propel himself as the necessarily sidekick to my free heroine adventurous spirit. Seriously, ever since Balder was born he's been happily sitting by the crib and playing the lute insisting that if our baby gets surrounded by music he'll grow up secure and happy. I'm not entirely sure about that but as I can't remember what life was like in my crib, I can't really argue with him about it. Besides, he always explains things in such a logical fashion and I hate that.

So given that Valentine is being boring, I thought I would step in and tell you the story of our adventure with Barbas and Clavicus Vile. This was in the late summer after I had him totally wrapped around my little finger but before I got him so drunk that he married me. The Jarl of Falkreath, Sitgore, had heard about me and Valentine and had sent a letter to Valentine, no doubt because he suspected I couldn't be bothered with his sort, asking us to come and show off.

Valentine had asked me about it and I had said, "Pfft! What for?"

"There's money in it," he suggested. "Which would enable us to afford a bottle of mead or two."

Something about the way Valentine said the word mead . . . It was like he was telling me I was beautiful in a soft soothing sexy voice.

"What sort of mead?" I asked. After clearing my throat.

"What's your favorite?" he replied.

Now that was the sort of question I liked hearing. It's the sort that told me I had picked someone up to my standards.

So I told him, "Black Briar Reserve," and he said, "Okay, that's what we'll get." and after a bit of thinking about it, I decided that perhaps we might as well go over to Falkreath and see what Sitgore had to say. If the weather was cooperating of course. I mean the rain can get my hair really frizzy and soaks me all the way to my undergarments and that is so uncomfortable. And if it isn't raining, it can get so cold. It was also late summer, the sun was always shining in my eyes and that makes it really hard to see your enemies.

Valentine would have you thinking I was chomping at the bit for that Black Briar but it's lies, all of it is lies.

So we set out from Solitude. We did a lot of walking in those days. Valentine didn't want to spend the money on a horse and I was okay with that because that meant more money for the important things, like booze. Valentine had just become a member of the Bardic college and it was during the Burning of King Olaf Festival. I will confess that was a fun adventure, especially the last part where they gave me and Valentine all the credit for saving it. And an awful lot of drinks were gotten for me too. I can't remember what the party was like so I know I had a lot of fun at it. And I must have been a little affectionate with Valentine because much against my better judgement I woke up in his arms. Not that anything happened. We girls know when we've been used, even if we can't remember who did it or when.

Like I said, he was up to my standards. It's not every guy you can wake up in the arms of and know for a fact that you've been respected while were you were having a bit too much to drink. It's kind of liberating really. To know you don't have to watch what you are doing because the guy you are with is going to be the sort who doesn't take advantage of you. Especially when you wake up with a pounding head and his breath smells like the horses have been stabled in it for the past thirty years. I probably didn't have to push him off of me that hard, but when your head is hurting like that, you don't need your nose joining in.

So it took us about two days to get to Falkreath and once we got there Valentine didn't go straight over to Sitgore. Taking my cue, we walked into Dead Man's Drink where Valentine worked out a three hour set so he could play for our bed and breakfast. I got to unwind, change out of my armor into a nice loose dress, have a few bottles of wine to drink, and get something to eat. Then when Valentine was done with his set and I was feeling nice and relaxed and buzzed, he gave me a foot rub and then he massaged my shoulders. I couldn't have asked for a better slave and he actually liked doing these things! He was so naive. He had no idea how much I was playing him. He was so in love with me. Not that I blamed him of course. When you're as attractive as me, guys just sort of fall at your feet on a routine basis. Either that or they think they can drink me under the table. They fall at my feet then too.

Heh.

Well the next day we talked with the Jarl, a young pompous irresponsible stuck up jerk who was so full of himself. I hate those sorts of people. Totally self-absorbed and looking down on everyone around him, the sort you want to just ram your foot so far up their . . . Excuse me Valentine is looking at me with that silly little world weary grin of his and shaking his head.

Yes?

As I was saying, he had one of those oily silky voices which tells you he's a first class jerk and he looked at the two of us, mostly me of course since I was actually presentable as well as attractive. Valentine had, like most days, not bothered to shave that morning. His mage robes were also totally covered in splattered mud from walking on those squishy cobblestone roads which pass for highways in this part of Skyrim. The Jarl then proceeded to pretend that he was suddenly concerned about the presence of bandits in Embershard Mine, which was a mostly exhausted mine south and west of Riverwood where, according to a note we found in the place of where a valuable horn was supposed to be, we were supposed to rent an attic room at the Sleeping Giant Inn. As there was no attic in the Sleeping Giant Inn, I was convinced that the note writer was an idiot and we had not bothered to do that yet. Anyway, the mine had this bandit gang in it who had been paying Jarl Sitgore off with the proceeds of their brigandage. They had decided, not that I could blame them, that he was a stupid ass who didn't need to be paid off. What they didn't know of course was that Sitgore would be so amazed by our heroic nature that he would be inspired to send us over there to take them out.

I never had a problem with taking out brigands, even if the Jarl was doing it for all the wrong reasons. Besides, not only were we supposed to be getting paid by him to do it, but we got to loot the entire encampment of everything of value and sell it off. And some times there were loose bottles of drink. It was usually the cheap watered down crap that people who only drink to get drunk will buy just so they can drink a lot of it before they pass out. I never could see the point in that. If you're going to drink so much you pass out, you might was well go out in style with the top grade. But it's still booze so I drink it. I just don't expect much from it before hand.

But hey? If someone is going to pay me to drink and kill stuff, who am I to stay their hand?

Yes, yes, Valentine, I know. I know. Kill stuff first then drink. Yeah.

Poor guy, he never has been able to hold his mead. Even after all that training with that crazy drunken master he still won't drink until he passes out.

Seriously Valentine, how will you ever learn to drink if you don't keep drinking it until you pass out? Yes, that is exactly what I do and why I do it. Don't you give me that look.

Men!

Well we got to Embershard with no fanfare. I never have been able to understand why we don't get a cheering throng just once? I mean after taking out Alduin you would have thought someone would have been praising us . . . What? Valentine? Of course I know Tsun was praising us but you were busy kissing me and that was really distracting and . . . I mean that I had to concentrate on doing it right and so I didn't hear him.

So we got into the cave and Valentine immediately tries to sneak down the tunnel. I never really trusted him to sneak properly, I mean sometimes he gets gas and you don't want to be behind him when he has that problem. Trust me you really don't want to be behind him. I mean there was one time I thought I was going to throw up. Meanwhile Valentine is busy pulling the torches out of the sconces and snuffing them and I'm sticking them in my backpack. We didn't need them that often since we were seldom walking at night and for some crazy reason or another all the caves and crypts in Skyrim are frequently lit by candles and lanterns which never go out and no one seems to know why. But sometimes you need a little extra light and Valentine could cast a light spell but he prefers torches because they save his magicka for important stuff. I tried to point out to him once that there was nothing more important than me in the room with him so why the torch? He just looked at me. Sort of like he's looking at me now.

We rounded the corner and there was this wooden ramp going down and an earthen ramp besides it. By this point I really was happy there were brigands in this cave. I hate it when there's bears or spiders. But that always means there's going to be other problems, like traps. So what we ended up doing was rolling this cart down the ramp and sure enough it triggered a trap which dumped a whole bunch of rocks on top of the cart. It was really fun to watch. From a safe distance that is. I nearly got hit by a rock myself once when in a cave and people were really disappointed that it missed me. Or at least they looked like they were.

So we got to the bottom and he holds up his hand to motion for me to stop and of course he can't tell me how to adventure so I slip up next to him. We both heard two brigands talking. One was all upset because he was convinced, rather rightly I might add, that anyone could slip in. The other was being an idiot, telling him that he was an idiot, funny how that works you know? Anyway he was pointing out that there was a guard at the front of the cave, which there wasn't, and there was that rock trap on the way down, which we had set off and they hadn't heard, and so he should go to bed and sleep.

It's at this point that Valentine summons up his fury spell and if it works we'll get to see the two of them hack each other to bits. It's always fun to watch but of course Valentine can't hit the broad side of Whiterun's walls let alone a single brigand so he fires off the spell at it slams into the post ten feet in front of him which alerts the guards and . . . No, I did not bump into you . . . Just because I was next to you does not mean that I lost my balance and fell into you when you casting . . . Who's telling this story anyway? . . . Don't you threaten me with that Baldor needs to nurse bit. My nipples haven't recovered from his last feeding.

He chews on me so hard the little pervert.

Well of course the spell alerts the brigands so they came charging up the way towards us, across a bridge in the middle of a cave. Don't ask me why there was this bridge in the middle of the cave because I don't know and I'm pretty, I don't have to think hard. And naturally I have step forward and deal with them while Valentine waits for his magicka to recover because he forgot to make magicka potions . . . I bet he never told you how often he forgot to make magicka potions in his telling of our quests against Harkon and Alduin did he?

Thought so.

So who's sticking their tongue out at me? . . . Just because I did it first does not excuse you.

Well Valentine fumbles around trying to figure out what he's going to do against the brigands so I hold the two of them down with my sword work and magic and very good looks. Seriously you have no idea how hard it is for a guy to hit me with a weapon because I look so good. He fires off a few magic bolts which fail to hit because, as he always did, he'd claim I kept jumping in front of him. Hey! I had good reasons for doing that. He would have gotten himself skewered so fast without my constant interference. And besides, it's just an excuse because it's not that I wasn't seeing fire bolts flying to the left and right of me hitting everything except the brigands.

So we kill the brigands and we get to look at this totally weird room in the middle of this mine. Well as Valentine would say, you can't make these things up. There was this pool of water in the middle with a bit of a shore next to it where the two brigands had been sleeping, a few torches and a fire pit with some stew bubbling and another drawbridge and an open ledge in front of us to the left. The drawbridge was up which meant we'd have to find a way to get to that section of the mine some way. But Valentine had noticed there is a vein of iron ore to the right of the fire and so he's pulling out his pickaxe and hacking away.

My Valentine, adventurer, dragon slayer, terror of vampires, the Dragonborn, trying to be a miner. And there I was just watching him and thinking how strong he was looking swinging that pick axe and imagining his shoulders bare and him lying in a bed next to me and *coughs* needless to say I had to remind myself that we were on an adventure. Not to mention the fact that yes, I had a big crush on him that I didn't want to admit I had. It made for some rather awkward moments especially when it was time to take baths or get to sleep or I had this very itchy spot on me that I really wanted him to scratch. Not that I couldn't itch it myself. At least in private, but you know how it is. Sometimes you would rather they scratch it.

So he finishes getting the iron ore out and we pack it up and it's into the next tunnel where there were two choices, the first which led to a cave in and the second which led to the room overlooking the drawbridge. There was a lever in that alcove which we presumed operated the drawbridge. So Valentine and I crouched down and he pulled the lever. That alerted two more brigands and he tried to hit one of them with the fury spell and as usual, missed. I got to kill both of them. And naturally I did it well without so much as a scratch or a broken fingernail.

"Must you look so smug afterwards?" he asked me.

"Yes," I replied. Well why not?

We crossed the drawbridge and a few feet later we find a hole in the wall which has a table right by it in the room on the other side. And I look in the hole and there's a brigand sitting with his back to us like he hasn't a care in the world which is more stupid than usual, especially when I'm sneaking around. But there's a bit of gold and a spell book laying on the table which I help myself to and Valentine then, thinking he's oh so clever, conjures his familiar in the room. Behind the iron bar door which the brigand is leaning against.

"I was trying to lure him into the room!" he argued. After I had killed that brigand too. "We could have then slipped around and locked him in or hit him from the back!"

"Well since when has a conjured familiar behind a locked iron barred door been a threat?" I snapped back. "He'd have to unlock the door first and why not just wait until it disperses?"

"What?" he exclaimed. "You mean you actually were thinking that through?"

I wanted to kick him so hard. So I did. I felt better afterwards.

Well it was around another corner in the tunnel and there it was, another pool with a shaft of light coming down from the ceiling, and more brigands. I raised my left hand to shoot off another fire bolt and he gently put his hand down on mine and . . . Has a guy ever done that to you in such a fashion that you really get turned on?

"I can do this," he said. "So let me."

And this time he did. The fury spell flew from his hands and hit the brigand in the middle on the rope bridge and suddenly there's this really exciting brigand riot going on and everyone is killing everyone else and the only thing that was missing was a bottle of mead or two so I could sit on the edge and drink it. But all good things have to end and soon there was just one brigand left yelling things like, "Didn't see the knife in my boot did you?" at all the corpses. I blew him off the bridge with an ice-bolt.

That was pretty much the last of the brigands in the cave. We finished exploring the back end and found another exit which opened up on the mountain sides south of the road to Riverwood and since it was night, we went back in to camp. There was a wooden platform overlooking the second pool which had several sleeping bags in it which didn't have fleas so we settled down there. And then Valentine tried to get me drunk.

You see he was madly in love with me, like just about every other guy I've spent time with and he knew that if he plied me with enough booze I'd let him snuggle me. I mean I had to encourage him in some fashion or he'd stop giving me mead. And then I'd have to get it myself and spend my money to do it.

Well after a bottle or two I was feeling a little romantic and as I said before, I kind of had a little crush on him and so I leaned against him. He put his arm around me which made me feel kind of secure. We were looking at the cave walls around us and I said, completely innocently, "I bet you have explored a few damp, dark caves in your time."

"Well," he said and I could hear that little smile in his tone. "There's a small one I know nearby I'd love to poke around in."

"What!" I cried. I almost jumped out of his arms, but I managed to just stand up. "I didn't mean anything by it! I also like exploring caves from time to time."

"You don't mean . . ." he began with that little grin of his that he likes to wear when he thinks he's going to embarrass you.

"No I don't!" I exclaimed. "I mean if she wasn't good looking . . . I mean . . . Quit laughing!"

I could feel my face getting all flush and hot. And there he was, just chuckling and shaking his head. I was ready to kick him again and then he pulls out another bottle of Alto Wine from his backpack and starts to fill up my mug with it.

So I decided I would overlook it this time. And I was starting to feel nice and buzzed while leaning against him. I kept feeling secure when I would do that but at the same time I was feeling like I was needing him and depending on him and I didn't like that either and who'd have thought feelings would be so complex? But we were in this cave and the torches were flickering off the walls and ceiling. I kept thinking of the last few years of my life; since I had left home.

"Have you ever tried living in a cave?" I asked him.

"No," he said. "I've not had a place I could call home since I left the Imperial City."

I kind of felt a little sorry for him. It made no sense. He was obviously from a rich family but that was what I was feeling.

"I have," I continued.

"What's it like?" He asked. He actually sounded like he was really interested in what I had to say about it. He actually sounded like he cared. I had to take a breath because my heart got all thumpity for a moment.

"It's not the most comfortable way of living," I said. "But you won't find anywhere more private."

"Even a house?" he asked.

"Well except a house of course. And unlike tents, you can give it a few homely touches."

"So what sort of touches?"

"Well I had a bed in a cave once, with a throw rug I got from a brigand's camp," I recalled. "It was kind of hard to get the bed in since I didn't know how to take it apart and get it back together like I've heard you can do. Well, I dragged it the whole way. But the rug was nice because when I put my feet down on the cave floor in the morning it didn't feel so cold."

"The bed was probably the hardest part," he said quietly. "Why didn't you keep living there? You could have gotten chairs and chests eventually."

"Yeah," I said. "But a mother bear decided to have her cubs in there while I was out adventuring and I hate bears."

"Tough taking a bear out by yourself," he suggested.

"I can do it," I answered back. "I just didn't want to. I hate having to work that hard to kill one. There were other caves I could move into."

"Maybe one day I'll have a house for you to live in," he said.

"I would like that," I replied. Then I realized what I had just said. "I mean . . . A house of my own. By myself!"

"If you say so," he said smiling. I knew he knew but I wasn't going to admit I knew he knew. I kept pretending I didn't. You know what I mean? It was so weird. I wanted him for myself, but I kept thinking he would think someone better had come along and he'd be gone. Not that I couldn't have killed them if they had tried, and I know I would have. But, I kind of knew he wouldn't like me afterwards. He was liking me now. I didn't want that to end. I just couldn't see how it could last forever either. He was the Dragonborn. He was from a rich family. He could have the daughter of a Jarl, in a nice silk dress. I had great looks, a great personality, but I knew I would get old some day. Old and fat. And pregnant if I let him have me. And Jarl's daughters have that special magic stuff that enables them to look pretty and thin until they turn into hags when they get old.

I sighed and decided that all these thoughts in my head were making me want to cry.

So I got drunk instead.

When I woke up, I was still leaning against him, with a slight headache, and he was leaning against the cave wall. He still had his arms around me. I suddenly got it into my head that it would be kind of fun if his hands were not just around me, but on my breasts? Then I found my hands on top of his hands. I swear they were operating as of they had a mind of their own, and I kept thinking about it and sort of beginning to move them just ever so slightly and . . .

Valentine? Just because I said I was thinking that then doesn't mean I'm thinking that now. Go change Baldor's diaper or something.

That man's got a one track mind I swear.

. . . Well suddenly I got freaked out over that and jumped up and he grunted and woke up and acted as if he was feeling sore and stiff.

"Time to get up and get moving," I said, rather coldly I admit. I didn't want to give him any more clues you see. He grunted but then he looked at me and he smiled ever so slightly. I couldn't understand how I could be so cold first thing in the morning and he could look at me and still smile. Eventually, after we had made love one night, months later, and I was resting on his shoulder and feeling his heart beat, which always made me feel kind of secure and warm, I thought about that and asked him why.

And he said, "Because you were always there."

It took me forever to figure out what he really meant by that. So you can imagine my surprise when it finally dawned on me that he was just as afraid that I'd leave him as I was he'd leave me. Funny how that works.

We gave the mine one last look over and then headed back to Falkreath. It took us the morning to get back but as we'd killed everything on the way to the mine, or rather I had killed everything while Valentine tried to help, we got back to the town around noon and a guard asked us if we had seen a dog out on the road.

"Some wolves," replied Valentine, "But no dogs."

"And I killed all of them yesterday," I added. Then I just stood there and looked like the hot Nord girl I naturally look like.

"Ah well," the guard said. Then he mentioned something about the Blacksmith, Lod, offering a reward for a stray dog which had been seen earlier.

A reward for finding a stray dog. How hard could that be? But Valentine was already on his way to the Jarl's hall and there was that reward to get for those brigands so I decided to tell him about what we would be doing after we took care of Sitgore.

"Teach them to stop paying me," he crowed once Valentine told him we had taken care of the problem. I hate people like him so much I was fantasizing about sticking my sword through that face of his and then he said to me . . . not Valentine . . . "I like you."

So I decided not to kill him after all.

"You're not afraid to get your hands dirty," he continued. "I hereby give you permission to purchase property in Falkreath hold."

I was so thrilled at being granted this privilege that I turned to Valentine and reminded him that we had to talk to Lod the blacksmith. Seriously? What's so great about spending money to buy dirt?


	45. Chapter 45 - I Wanted To Kick That Dog

"You really want to take the time to track down a stray dog?" Valentine asked me.

"Yes," I replied. "It's simple and easy and it's money for another bottle of Black Briar. Which reminds me, you said you would buy one for me with the reward money we've just gotten so where is it?"

"We just got out of the Jarl's hall, Sofi," he argued.

"So? Why aren't we going into Dead Man's Drink and getting it?"

"You wanted to go to Lod the Blacksmith!"

I hate it when he does that to me.

"Okay!" I sighed. "Lod is in front of us and Dead Man's is down the street. We'll do Lod first . . . I mean we'll talk to him . . . Yeah . . And then we'll go into Dead Man's."

Valentine just looked at me and gave me one of those soft smiles of his which at the time made me want to have all sorts of inappropriate thoughts in my head. And then while I was busy trying to keep all those ideas out which I really didn't want to keep out, he approached Lod and greeted him.

"Did you see a hound on the road? A fine strong creature that's been wandering near town?" he asked Valentine once all the boring good days and fine weather we're having lies were gotten over with.

"The guard at the gate mentioned a dog," observed Valentine. He always took that detached approach when he first met someone. It got them to open up and explain themselves. As far as I know, I'm the only person he never tried that the first time we met. I supposed it had a lot do with the fact that I was asleep when he first laid eyes on me, and I was looking very beautiful and I had lost my clothing some time prior. When your body is as good as mine, you can really render a guy totally speechless. One guy when he saw me without my clothes on was so overwhelmed that he didn't look where he was going and fell off a bridge into a river and nearly drowned. But there was one thing which was kind of strange about the first time I met Valentine face to face. I was still wearing my sword and scabbard on my sword belt. Normally when you take your clothing off, you remove your sword belt first. Even when you're so drunk you don't remember doing it afterwards. Somehow I managed to keep it on. It's just one of life's mysteries I guess.

"I asked the gate guards to look for him," continued Lod. "I can't afford to chase him down but I could use a fierce loyal beast to keep me company."

"Sure, we can catch him," replied Valentine.

"Good," said Lod. There's some gold in it for you if you succeed."

He then asked us to wait a moment while he went into his house to get some fresh meat to attract the dog. I looked over the smithy and noticed that he had a whole pile of leather laces and mine were really wearing out so I helped myself to some of them since he was going to pay us anyway. It's like he was tipping me, he just didn't know he was doing it.

No, I did not have a guilty looking face when we left the blacksmiths! Where do you get these ideas anyway. You going to tell this story or me?

Lod had pointed us down the street towards the west which was the direction to Dead Man's Drink. It was like he was reading my mind. Which he wasn't since my thoughts are well, rather deep I must admit and . . .

Valentine, if you think I don't hear that sniggering . . .

We went into the tavern and the waitress looks at us and the first thing that tramp says is, "Shor's bones, a handsome man in Falkreath."

Then Valentine leans in and softly whispers into my ear, "Sofi, if you start a bar brawl I won't be able to buy the Black Briar."

So I had to stand there for a moment because I has having such a hard time making up my mind.

But Valentine got the mead, and it was a bottle of the reserve. He had remembered. I felt really special. He might have just gotten the Black Briar and I would have been happy, not as happy as I was with a bottle of Reserve, but we didn't have that much money. We left the inn and since Valentine belonged to me I settled for giving that slutty waitress a nose in the air toss of the head and held on to his arm while doing it. Then once we had left the bar I let go of him since I didn't want him getting any ideas.

We continued down the road which went west for a bit before it turned to the north. That's all forest there and I could hear the wind gently blowing through the pines and making that gentle swooshing sound and I was really glad it wasn't spring because then the pollen would make me want to sneeze all day and I'd get a headache.

But just as we got to that part of the road where it turns north towards Rorikstead this dog came bounding up to us. Valentine put the meat down and the dog gobbled it down like a greedy pig while Valentine just scratched the dog's ears and I was hoping that there were no ticks or fleas on that dog because once Valentine thought he was going to get away with it he was going to put those flea and tick infested hands on me before he washed them and . . . Excuse me I was going on a rant.

But the dog then looked at us and said, "You are exactly what I was looking for."

A talking dog? Yes, a talking dog. I was convinced that I was either going mad or Valentine had been slipping something into my drinks. I don't think those sorts of things any more about Valentine because he's really not that good of an alchemist.

Says he who keeps forgetting to drink his potions when the dragons attack?

I don't trust animals who talk. And I don't even trust my own head when I hear them talk. So I said to the dog, because I wanted to clarify things, "Did you just talk?"

"Yes," said the dog. "Skyrim is now host to giant, flying lizards and two-legged cat men . . . And you're surprised by me? Yeah, I just talked. And am continuing to do so."

You know if you slip thin little slivers of pine wood into meat and feed it to dogs they swallow it whole and the pine slivers puncture their insides and they die slow painful deaths. You should try it sometime.

Valentine however, always polite, even when I think he needs to start a big killing spree, said, "You were looking for us?"

"Yeah, I think you'll be just what I need. You see my name is Barbas and I have a problem I think you can help sort out."

"So what could a dog need help with?" asked Valentine.

"My master and I had a bit of a falling out. We got into an argument and it got rather heated. He's kicked me out until I can find someone to settle our disagreement. That's where you come in."

"So you're a little lost puppy?" Valentine said that in such a cute tone I had this really inappropriate fantasy pop into my head about me and him and I had to try to think about something else to keep from blushing.

"Very funny," said Barbas, the dog I wanted to kick. "My master is Clavicus Vile, Daedric prince of wishes. As you can imagine, he's quite the important person."

The Daedric Prince of wishes. I had even more inappropriate thoughts in my head about what I would wish for me with Valentine. But I had some decent ones too, you know, the sorts of simple dreams young girls have, like ruling the world, a barrel of black briar reserve which never went dry, every man worshiping me, my boobs being just the right size, no cramps just before that time of the month, Valentine being in the mood only when I am in the mood and not every single damn moment of the day . . .

Okay! So maybe I'm exaggerating a little. It sure as oblivion seems like it on a regular basis.

"Sounds easy enough," mused Valentine. "Let's go find him."

"Thank you," said Barbas. "Now since he's banished me, Vile's been rather weak. He can't manifest very far from one of his shrines. I know there's a cult that worships him at Haemar's Shame. We should be able to talk to him there. If this works out. I'll make sure you are rewarded. Just don't trust any offers he makes you . . . okay?"

Well, with that he proceeded to head east down the road towards the mountains. I knew where Haemar's Shame was. I know Skyrim like the back of my hand. We were walking through the forests of Falkreath for the better part of the day. Only in the late afternoon when we were in the mountains did the trees end. It was snowing and I was cold and my legs were getting stiff because we had been walking all day. Barbas, that damn dog, just kept going without stopping and I was really wanting to kick that dog so hard.

Then in the middle of all this Valentine said, "You look so enchanting with all the snowflakes in your hair."

Have you ever wanted to punch a guy so hard he flies back and at the same time kiss him so hard with your tongue so far down his throat that he chokes to death? I was having some very complex feelings right then.

We got to the cave, at sunset. Barbas charged right in, and that was the last we saw of him for a while. Not the most helpful of dogs if you ask me. Me and Valentine however got ourselves ready for another crawl running through our lists to make sure we have everything in place and in reach of our hands. It's always a very good idea to do this. There was this one time we were in this tomb and the drauger were charging and I grabbed my sword belt thinking I was reaching for a potion and I yanked it in such a fashion that not only did it fly off but so also did my skirt. And I had not felt like wearing underwear that day because when you walk for a long time it can bunch up in the front and that's really annoying. So the drauger got a little bit more of me to view which really was a waste since they can't appreciate me the way say, a brigand would have, and did on another occasion which I don't need to relate right now. Valentine was firing off fire bolts just behind me and suggesting that the moons were rising early that day and if it were not for the drauger he would have gotten a face full of ice spikes. Fortunately by that time we had been married for a bit and he made it up to me in such a fashion that a half an hour later I was really enjoying the making up . . . If you know what I mean. Then I had to go looking for my skirt. When Valentine makes up with me, I can get really distracted.

You would think it would be hard to see inside a dark cave, but apparently not. It was well lit, and filled with snow, which made no sense since caves normally don't get cold enough for water to freeze in them. But then again this is Skyrim, it's not supposed to make sense. We got down to the first room where there was this giant platform on which this one argonian started to take pot shots at us with his bow. And Valentine just let off three fire bolts and he actually hit the guy and killed him. He was lucky of course.

For you see, after we loot that platform of all the gold and stuff we go into another snow lined tunnel and Valentine spies this pressure plate which means there's a trap. He then proceeds to cast Oakflesh. I simply could not understand why he did that because of course that's a noisy spell unless you've really gotten good at Illusion magic which Valentine is not, and a vampire was alerted and she charged up the tunnel right at us. Valentine got his familiar off just before she contacted him and while she was chewing on the ghost wolf, I stepped up and ran her through.

"What were you thinking?" I asked him. I was kind of cross with him and when I got cross with him he'd get all self-conscious and nervous and he looked kind of cute you know? And he was so easy to manipulate when he got that way. I didn't know why he was that easy . . . I mean to manipulate of course . . . 'cause I didn't know he was so scared I'd leave him. But I wasn't that worried about why he was so easy to wrap around my little finger, the important thing was that he was wrapped around it.

"I was worried about that trap going off while we were slipping around it and I'm just in mage robes," he grumbled while swinging his arms around which he does when he's embarrassed and frustrated.

I sighed and crossed my arms and looked at him and he just kind of looked back at me, meeting my eyes because of course he was totally into my beauty. It's nothing I can do about it. I'm just that good looking.

"The trap is for catching people going into the cave," I said. "And so the trap will be on the other side of the plate. You shoot it with a bow?"

"Oh," he said sort of to himself. "Sorry Sofi, I wasn't thinking I guess."

I think that was the first time I realized that if he had gotten killed, I would have bawled my head off somewhere no one could see me do it. It was because he had said he was sorry. No guy had ever said that to me before.

We slipped down the tunnel a bit more, which was made somewhat easy because there was still plenty of snow around. And then we got to another raised platform which had been built to enable people to get down to the lower chamber of the cave. There was a fire down there and another thrall sitting by it watching a pot of stew bubble. I was feeling my stomach grumble and I realized we had not eaten a thing since we had munched on a couple of carrots on the road while chasing after Barbas who, I might add, remained conspicuously absent this whole time. I mean this is a daedric dog? He could have killed everyone in front of us and made this a whole lot easier you know?

Did I tell you about the pine slivers in little bits of meat? I did? Well consider yourself reminded.

We crept up to the edge of the platform and Valentine cast a combo of spells. The first was fury on the thrall which got him all up and upset. He charged for the ramp which would lead up to where we were crouched, so, figuring that Valentine had screwed up yet again, I drew my sword and turned to face the thrall when Valentine's ghost wolf familiar bounds by me and the thrall attacks it instead. So I got to slip to the side and stab the thrall easy like. Then a seriously dangerous vampire comes at me and Valentine's familiar. She quickly ripped up the familiar in so far as you rip up a ghost wolf but all the time Valentine was hitting her with fire bolts because he was being smart for once and had gotten behind her. Then when she had finished with the familiar he summoned it again and she found yet another ghost wolf chewing on her ankles.

That was a fun fight I'll admit. I like it when I'm not being stabbed at, especially when it's a girl and I can tell her how ugly she is. And you know? Vampire girls can get really ugly and that makes it really fun to mock them. And easy because you don't have to make things up when doing it. So once I had run my sword through her chest a few times, her boobs were not worth saving if you know what I mean, they were way too small, we gave the large cavern, covered in snow, with a burning fire pit for cooking and torches burning on all the walls . . . You know this was a really weird cave. Well we gave it a good search and found a few things of value, especially on another platform where there was some furniture. And my stomach was growling again, and rather loudly.

"How do you make Rabbit?" Valentine asked me. "I thought I would cook it up if you would let me know how to do it."

There he was, offering to make supper again. And he simply could not cook. And he always had that little grin on his face when he did so which made me wonder just what he was up to? So I made the rabbit for supper while Valentine noticed the alchemy table and began experimenting with herbal mixtures. I never could see the use for alchemy. You couldn't make booze with that table so what was the point? Well yes you can make healing potions and potions to improve your ability to fight, but you can find those already laying around and on the corpses of your enemies and when you are as naturally talented as I am you don't need anything more than the occasional healing potion.

There was another corpse on a table at the far end of the cavern which we did a quick look at, but there was nothing of value which the Vampires had not already ransacked and sucked dry. Valentine however was busy eating his bowl of boiled rabbit with cabbage and carrots and observing that we could eat a nice hot meal in a room filled with dead vampires and thralls. We finished supper and left the dirty dishes for the next pack of brigands or vampires who would no doubt some day find this cave. Of course a bear might have also found the dirty dishes and licked them clean because bears are kind of gross that way.

And we were down yet another snow covered tunnel. The next main room was also sunken, and this one was about two stories down. There were two vampires and two of their thralls in that room. Valentine was finally getting into the swing of things and he cast familiar and then continued to hit them with fire bolts while I did a combination frost and fire stream which looks really cool if you do it right. There was more loot in that complex including a chest which Valentine managed to pick the lock on after breaking three lockpicks. Lockpicks died faster in the hands of Valentine than brigands did. I could have done it faster and quicker of course, but he seemed to insist on being the one to do it and I was able to stand back and watch him do it. He looked kind of good anyway so you could say I just stepped back and enjoyed the view.

There was another room with a frostbite spider in it. How the thralls were able to walk by that and not get eaten remained one of those mysteries about that cave. But there was no point in thinking too deeply about it once we had killed the spider. After that there was another small room which had an enchanting table in it. Valentine took some time examining the enchantments on some of the items we had found. And once again I was left with nothing to do but think inappropriate thoughts about what I'd like to do with him. I think somewhere as he was beginning the examinations I cleared my throat and he turned to me and observed that he would be at this for a while so I might as well drink a bottle of wine. And then he pulled one out of his backpack and gave it to me.

Well, I agreed that this would be a very good idea. So I leaned back and watched him quietly dissolve the various items as he learned their enchantments and I had a nice bottle of wine. From there it was yet another tunnel which intersected a small running stream and one last thrall which Valentine dealt with and there we were, in the shrine to Clavicus Vile, and the last of five vampires and two thralls were being killed by Barbas. Finally, that dog was doing something useful! We helped, well mostly me of course, but after that very brief fight, Me and Valentine checked all the bodies for valuables. And so we turned to face the great statue. There he was, Clavicus Vile, holding out his mask, without Barbas at his side.

On one hand, it was just a statue. On the other hand, there was a Daedric prince on the other side of that statue. It was, I'll admit, just a little scary. But Valentine just walked up and quietly said, "Lord Vile, I have a request of you."

He was such a good actor.

"By all means, let's hear it," said the statue. Clavicus had come. "It's the least I could do, since you already helped me grant one final wish for my last worshipers. They were suffering so from vampirism, and begged me for a cure. Then you came and ended their misery! I couldn't have planned it better myself."

I began to giggle. There was tension in the air and it sounded so damn funny. I had to just let it go. I liked his style. Someone is suffering so what's the solution? Kill them! I giggled some more.

"So, what's your heart's desire," asked Clavicus in a soft singing voice.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you think it's just you and someone else and everyone else seems to be just totally inconsequential. And I don't mean like nearly every day of my life either. I mean something a little more . . . Ah whatever. I was realizing just what it was that I really wanted and I didn't like it all. I loved it that he was so wrapped around my little finger, but I hated it that I wasn't wrapped around his. And so I just stood there, wanting to scream out, "Make me and Valentine forever damn it or I'll hack your head off and stuff it down Barbas' throat!"

Not the most intelligent way to approach a Daedric Prince. They're kind of really powerful?

"What kind of deal can we strike?" continued Clavicus.

"I'm just here to reunite you with Barbas," replied Valentine.

What? Don't you know? Can't you understand? Oh wait! No, you can't read my mind can you? I suppose that's kind of good since it would be a little embarrassing for me right about now.

"Ugh. The insufferable pup? Forget it. Request denied. No deal. I'm glad to be rid of him," replied Clavicus. "Even if it does mean I'm stuck in this pitiful shrine, in the back end of . . . Nowhere."

I couldn't blame him you know? Who'd want to be stuck out in the back end of nowhere, especially in the back of a snow covered cave which remained below freezing in spite of all the lit torches which never seemed to go out? But I've already told you this was a very strange cave.

"Well . . ." continued Clavicus, who was talking himself into doing something which if it had been me would have ended up with me having an awful lot of fun and then having to hide from the town guards.

"Perhaps there is a way he could earn his place back at my side. Maybe. But no promises," concluded Clavicus.

"What's your offer?" asked Valentine. He remained so polite and diplomatic all this time. And calm. How could he do that? There I was, wanting to scream at myself to quit falling in love with him and he was just standing there acting as if chatting with a Daedric Prince was something that people do every day.

"There's an axe," said Clavicus. "An incredibly powerful axe. An axe powerful enough for me to have quite a bit of fun, indeed. If you bring it to me, I'll grant you my boon. No strings attached. No messy surprises. At least, not for you. As I recall, it's resting in Rimerock Burrow. Barbas can lead you right to it. Little mutt might even earn his place back at my side."

The statue was silent, and I was really tired. We worked our way back to one of those platforms where we didn't have to lay in that snow and camped for the rest of the night. There had been no booze in the cave, which made sense since it was vampires and their thralls. I'm sure there were a few bottles laying around but I wasn't that thirsty. Booze is one thing. Blood is another. I mean, can you even get drunk on it? So I had to lay in my own sleeping fur, staring at the ceiling. I kept thinking about finding an excuse to get into his sleeping fur with him. I figured if I just could snuggle up next to him for a bit, feel his heart beating, enjoy the security, I'd then fall asleep. But more importantly, in the morning I'd wake up. His face would be all scratchy from his rotten shaving habits, his breath would smell like a Stormcloak boot camp. I'd be reminded that he was like all the other men I had known and played and I'd be back to my normal free spirited self. I could say, "Valentine? Pfft! Who needs him?"

Of course it wouldn't have worked that way at all. I know that now. What I came to realize that the reason why I was feeling what I was feeling with Valentine was because he was genuinely in love with me. The other guys? They were looking at me as something to use. Use and discard like Horsa had with me back when I first left home. Valentine wasn't like that. He was looking out for me even though I was doing a better job looking out for me than he ever could but you know what I mean. He really cared. I could feel that, though I didn't know I was feeling it. What I thought I was feeling was really confused. When you think all the guys are just there to get you into bed with them and then you run into one who just wants to be with you even if you never sleep with him? You really have a hard time believing it.

But the next day Valentine was up and he had gotten chilled in the night. His sinuses were all clogged up, he kept having to blow his nose and he had no handkerchiefs. So he used the hood of his robe and believe me the crises was over with. I was back to my free spirited self ready to use and abuse him for as long as he kept me in mead self.

We set out down the road; Me, Valentine, and Barbas. Rimerock Burrow was far to the north up in Haafinger almost on the border of High Rock, so it looked to be a two day walk. And this would be on top of the walk we had already taken from Solitude, to Falkreath, to Embershard, back to Falkreath, and over to Hamar's Shame. Valentine owed me some serious foot rubs, but what made him so wonderful, though at the time I merely saw him as useful, was that he did this every single night! And should he forget, I was always reminding him. That was the only time I saw him getting just a little irritated. He would say "Yes dear!" in a way that suggested I had been married to him for fifty years. Or he would say "Yes, mother," which really unnerved me. I couldn't describe it as being creeped out because there was nothing creepy about it. But even so, I found it somewhat unsettling.

We walked by Lake Ilinalta around mid-morning and he talked about the Imperial City and how it was on the shores of Lake Niben and I could tell he was getting homesick. And I got a little jealous. How was it that he had gotten it all? He had mom and day who had loved him and were not at all weird. Well outside his mother trying to summon the Dark Brotherhood that is. He had grown up in a very nice house in one of the nicest spots in the Imperial City. And the only reason why he had left his home was because he was afraid him mother, whom he loved, would have talked him into helping her with the Night Mother Ritual. Personally? I would have not bothered. If I wanted my kids to inherit, I'd just have killed the other kids myself. But of course that probably would have ended in a disaster so it's best that I never was in that situation. And he was Dragonborn. Why did he have all the luck? If I had been Dragonborn, the term shouting would have taken on a whole new meaning. I kept asking myself, why was he still with me? I was sure it wasn't because he loved me. No guy had ever really loved me, not even my Father. I kept thinking deep down it was because he was crazy. Of course that merely made me want to insist it was my good looks all the more loudly. And that was easy to do because he kept telling me how pretty I was. But you know? He sounded as if he really thought that. But what I also kept noticing was that the longer we were together, the more often he told me I was pretty. And not just pretty. He said I was enchanting, charming, beautiful, sweet, eloquent, outstanding, attractive, scintillating, and a lot of other words which I didn't really know what they meant but I was sure they were complementary.

You see, normally guys say those things at the beginning until they have you and then they just take you for granted. The more he should have taken me for granted, the more often he complimented me. And you know? Even now, after we've been married two years, he still does that. He's still complimenting me every day and now I know he means it. It makes me feel so special and . . . Excuse me, I have to um . . . Do something for about a half an hour or maybe an hour. With Valentine . . . Yeah . . . Um . . . We have to . . . Talk, yes! Talk about Baldor . . . Yeah. I'll be back later. Bye.


	46. Chapter 46 - You Can't Be Too Careful

Okay I'm back. I'm feeling way more relaxed now that I've been able to um . . . confer with Valentine about babies, No! I mean Baldor! Well yes, Baldor is a baby but . . . Where was I in the story? Oh yes, we were turning north from Lake Ilinalta. We passed Half-Moon Mill, and then walked by Rorikstead later on in the afternoon. We picked up some cooked pheasant at the inn and ate it as we walked and started down the road into a river valley. There was a bridge which was by a fortified spot known as Robber's Gorge which crossed one of the tributaries of the Karth River. And there things began to get, what I would call, fun. First there was the wolves and sabre cat, but then when we reached that spot were a road heads off into The Reach past Broken Tower Redoubt and onto Karthwasten, we were set upon by bandits. There were four of them to start with but I killed three of them quickly. I would have killed the last one but Barbas and Valentine killed him before I was able to make it a perfect score.

You know how guys like to talk about the girls they've scored? Well, I like to talk about the guys I've scored. I just penetrate in a slightly different way.

Anyway we got to the river and crossed the bridge where another group of bandits tried to get a toll from us. We paid them in a manner they had not anticipated and it was one of those installment plans where you pay them one at a time? Barbas was finally being useful in that he would leap right in and be all dog over all the bandits. We finally cornered the bandit boss and finished him off and then looted the place while Barbas proved the perfect partner in that he just sat there and asked for nothing. He didn't complain about his share of the treasure. He didn't demand a bottle of mead. He didn't even grumble that we were taking our time sorting through all the stuff and deciding what to take and what to leave behind.

What do you mean unlike me? Don't you smile like that! Isn't it time to feed Baldor? . . . Oh wait . . . That's me . . . *sighs* Just a second.

I was thinking, if only all the women of Skyrim were like him, especially the short and shaggy and flea bitten part? Then the only woman who could claim to be pretty at all would be me. And there was only one of me. And I thought about that and realized that this was good that there was only one of me. Because if there was another one of me I'd be so jealous I'd have to kill her. And then I'd have to get drunk because I'd keep wondering if I had just committed murder or suicide.

But Robber's Gorge had a secret to it. There was a trap door in the back of the hutch which led down to a cave and there we found a diary which led to a chest on an island in the middle of the river and so Valentine and I swam out there and found some very nice stuff including a Dwarven Mace which we figured we could sell for at least 100 septims. And this was back when we were living from stabbed bandit to stabbed bandit for our fun money. So it was a good moment. Then I got one of those ideas I get when I'm in the mood to cause trouble. We were looking at some of the jewelry we had found, and Valentine had figured out that if he pretended he was slipping various rings on my fingers to see which one's looked best on me, he'd get to hold my hand. Of course I didn't really object since all these pretty rings were slipped on and off my fingers. Well, we were wet and in armor, or at least I was. Valentine was in his mage robes which were clinging all over him and he has these really broad shoulders and given all the traveling we were doing he was in perfect physical shape . . . unlike now . . . It was really a stunning view. And armor really is not comfortable when it's soaked. Well, I kept thinking of all these rings being put on and taken off. I starting thinking about things being taken off, so I kind of admit I suggested we lay our armor and clothes out to dry while we go skinny dipping in the river?

Well Valentine by this time had spent enough time with me that he knew I could be a deliberate tease, like the time we had just killed and skinned a cave full of bears and I asked him if he wanted to see my bare chest and when he said yes, I pointed to the bear's front I had just skinned.

Oh? That was after we were married? Well never mind then.

Anyway he looks rather skeptical like he's certain that is what I was trying to do. Which I was I admit. I was just going to go a little farther than I normally do, meaning I had it in my head I really wanted him to see me. And maybe get it into his head that I wanted him to go to bed with me that night. I'd work him up and then decide that I didn't want him after all and he was such a gentleman I knew he wouldn't try to push it . . .

What? What do you mean that was a . . . No I said that entirely innocently . . . Well I wasn't being entirely innocent that night yes . . . But . . . You have SUCH a dirty mind.

Now where was I before Valentine had to make a comment. Yes, he's just standing there with his arms folded and not at all acting like he did the time I was trying to take a bath in the Hjal river. So being that I don't like being thwarted, I walk up to him and start to work on the fastenings of his robes. Well he starts to fight me off, but not in the manner that would actually discourage me, you know, he's grabbing my hands and not punching me and it's turning into a little playful wrestle. I figured I could get our stuff off us this way too because I know just what sort of hand holds I need to employ. But that's when the dragon swooped right out of the sky and attacked.

I was really mad at that dragon. Especially because he was swooping in. I hate it when they swoop.

Yes, Valentine I heard that. No I'm not going to say it. Tell the story yourself and then you can say it.

And that dragon kept swooping too. He would fly straight up and then come straight down and always aimed at Valentine which really irritated me because in the outfit Valentine was wearing? He wasn't going to last very long, even with me. Of course he gulps down a fire resistance potion and gets a few fire bolts off but mostly he has to run and duck out of the way of that frost breath that the dragon is blowing at him.

Yes, it was a fire resistance potion! You pulled out a red bottle and not a white bottle. Well of course I know my bottles, why are you saying that anyway . . . Wait! You are so asking for a kick, Valentine!

Well, back to the dragon then. He's attacking Valentine and so I shouted, "Look at you! Not even the villagers are afraid of you!"

The dragon continued to ignore me and I was starting to get irritated like I always do when I'm not the center of attention . . . I mean . . . Never mind. The dragon still was swooping at Valentine and he dived under the water of the river and then the dragon dived in after him and got water logged. So he couldn't take off again. I was able to close in on the dragon, shooting more fire bolts at him and telling that dragon that I was going to be feasting on his soul which wasn't entirely true because Valentine was the Dragonborn and not me so I kind of tried to correct that in my taunts but it didn't come out very intimidating. But the dragon didn't care what I was saying. He was utterly determined to get Valentine. Valentine popped up out of the water, fired off a fire bolt at the dragon which got him in the face, and then dived back under as the dragon tried to freeze him. That gave me the chance to come in on the side and start hacking his scales off. And that was how the fight ended a moment later. That dragon kept trying to freeze Valentine who kept jumping up out of the water and shooting fire bolts while I jabbed from the side. And so we killed the dragon and Valentine just stood there with a sad look on his face as the power all swirled around him.

By the time we have the remains of the dragon taken care of, the sun had set. I really like sun sets so I was just gazing at the western sky. Valentine came up behind me and put his arms around me and I sort of just got all sentimental, which I really don't do well. I started to panic and insisted that I needed to get to bed. And that's when, tricky guy that he is, he just turned and with me still under his left arm, he and I kind of walked back to the small house which was at the back of the camp. I was suddenly thinking he was going to take me to bed after all and I really didn't want to stop him. And I'm having this fight in my head where part of me is wanting him to not stop and the other part of is yelling at me that I'm an idiot about to get used again. But when we get to that bedroom, there's only a single bed, meaning not a double. He gave me a little kiss on the cheek and said "Nighty night," and walked back out and there I was. Just standing there.

He was SUCH a tease that night.

Needless to say I slept in the hutch with a roof over my head and a nice window while he settled in the big fur tent down a bit. I couldn't get to sleep. I lay on my side and looked out that window at that big tent where he was sleeping, kind of wishing I had a good enough excuse to go down there and sleep next to him. Why I wanted to do this remains one of life's mysteries because he often snored which would wake me up.

Still does by the way. Yes, I'm talking to you.

Well I was thinking. I mean guys did these things to me because I was pretty and they wanted me to fall into bed with them. I'd play them until they got fed up and went in search of some girl not as pretty or as clever. But I kept having this crazy feeling that Valentine wasn't doing these things so much as to get me into bed with him, though he clearly was attracted to me. Like every one else of course. But there was this idea that he was doing nice things to me not just to keep me around, but because he thought it would help me be happy.

He wanted me to be happy.

The other guys, they wanted to be happy. They were looking at me to make them happy. My happiness had nothing to do with it. But Valentine wanted me to be happy. And I didn't know what to do about that. I kept thinking, it was just a smarter and more clever scheme. It really wasn't until we got to Riften that I realized that he really did want to make me happy. That it wasn't a scheme or trick. It was real. But he's told you all about Riften and if I tell you all about Riften I'll get it into my head that I want to drag him back into bed with me and I've already done that while telling this story and . . . damn it.

This remembering is making me all sentimental and I don't do sentimental so I fell asleep and when we woke up the next morning, we continued up the road towards Dragon's Bridge. Thing were pretty quiet for a bit until we got to the first bridge. There are three bridges in that area of Hjaalmarch and we were at the southernmost when we came across a plundered wagon. It was a merchant's wagon and there were a lot of nice rugs which I would have loved to have if we could have carried them. And it was a really nice wagon too, but the horse was as dead as the merchant and his wife. So I settled for raiding the knapsack and seeing what the woman's diary had to say. It was all about how she was going to go with him on this trip and nothing remotely stimulating about it like say, "The Lusty Argonian Maid"?

In the meantime, Valentine was trying to bury the corpses. He worked on the ground for a bit with his pick but the ground proved too stony. Something I could have told him but he didn't ask me. Well he proceeded to take the two bodies and then gently lowered them into the river. I thought that was a waste of time since the vultures were more than capable of picking the corpses clean and the wolves were more than able to run off with the bones and I pointed this out to Valentine. He just looked at me and sighed.

From there we continued veering to the west until the road turned back north and we crossed the Karth into Haafinger proper at Dragon's Bridge. The road turned east and we had to follow it even though Rimrock was more to the north and west. There were those cliffs which could not be climbed so we had to go around them. I didn't have too much of a problem with that, that's just Skyrim. Besides a Cave Bear charged us and we got to kill it so it was the perfect start to a perfect morning. I mean, don't you ever just wake up and see the sun shining outside, the flowers are blooming, there's a cooling breeze, and it's early summer so that the winter's cold is a thing of the past? On days that perfect, don't you just want to go out and kill something?

I wasn't asking you, Valentine.

From there we cut across country going south of Clearpine Pond and then picked up the road again when it turned north after Lost Echo Cave. And this is when a woman in hysterics came running up to us and begged us for a cure disease potion. She said she had been bitten by a vampire. Pfft! I had heard stories before. But this one was definitely one of the more well acted. You could almost swear she had been in a fight with them. Well my gullible Valentine, he couldn't give her a potion since he didn't have any, but he directed her to the nearest Shrine of Talos and she had sufficient wit to act grateful and she dashed off. But we were just about an hour from Rimerock Burrow by that point so nothing more happened until we reached the entrance to the Burrow. Valentine turned to Barbas. I was beginning to mentally go through the list as we called it and I figured Valentine was now getting the next bit of information about this axe from Barbas so it would be fresh in our minds as we snuck in.

"So what's the story behind the Rueful Axe?" he asked.

"One of Clavicus' little jests," replied Barbas. I was looking very closely at that dog and his mouth was not moving. We could hear him perfectly but he wasn't actually speaking the words. It was so weird because it was like it was all in my head. And I don't mean that kind either. "A wizard named Sebastian Lort had a daughter who worshipped Hircine," continued Barbas. "When the daughter became a werewolf it drove Sebastian over the edge. He couldn't stand to see his little girl take on such a bestial form. The wizard wished for the ability to end his daughter's curse. Clavicus gave him an axe."

Valentine looked at me as if to say he didn't find it funny at all, and yeah, I was giggling. It annoyed me at the time but now that I have Baldor, I can kind of understand why Valentine didn't find it funny. I don't think I would find it funny any more either. I mean it's one thing if Valentine were to become a werewolf, so long as he didn't start doing that thing on my leg, but to see Baldor turn, I don't know if I would like that very much.

"What do you think?" he asked me.

"What do you mean?" I replied. "We slip in, kill this wizard, take the axe, what more is there to this?"

"I don't know if I want to kill that wizard," he said. "I mean let's face it, he didn't do anything wrong as far as we can tell. And the only reason why he's got that axe is because he loved his daughter."

"Well how do you think we're going to get that axe?" I said. I rested my hands on my hips and gave him a stare. I couldn't think of how this could end in any fashion other than violently. It was pretty typical of our adventures in Skyrim. We go into a cave, or tomb, or fort to get something for someone, we end up killing everything in it, and we come out with stuff and if it's a really good adventure, mead.

He paused, looked at Barbas, and looked back at me. It was a really strange feeling I was having. On one hand I was getting irritated because he was having one of his moral fits, but on the other hand, I was feeling a little bit guilty that I was irritated with him.

"Okay," he sighed. "Let's sneak in and see if we can't slip off with it. If it ends in conflict, so be it. Should have known given we were dealing with the daedra."

Barbas just sat there and panted like a typical ragged flea infested Skyrim mutt.

So we snuck in and got a look at the burrow. It looked to be a two level cave. There was a lower area and an upper area. But in the lower area was a flame atronach whom Barbas promptly charged. That alerted the wizard so Valentine's plan that we would just slip in and out didn't work. The wizard summoned another flame atronach, I was attacking with ice bolts and sword, and Valentine was streaming frost and ice bolts as well. As the atronachs died, they exploded. Well it was pretty spectacular with all the magic and explosions and it was over a little bit too soon for my tastes. I like explosions, when I'm not in them of course.

The axe was laying on top of one of those ancient Nord stone tables and there was a back room where the wizard had lived. Valentine and I searched it and while Valentine was thumbing through the books I suggested that I was thirsty. He smiled and gave me a bottle of wine. So we sat down on the bed together while he thumbed through the books and I drank the bottle of wine and found myself leaning up against him. It was a good half an hour before he was done with all the books. There was one which was worth putting in the knapsack for sale. He then stood up and turned around and reached for my hand to help me up and I found myself looking into his eyes. I think it was then that I noticed they were a very soft green color. I kept looking into them. I wasn't seeing the sort of things I had seen in a guy's eyes before. I saw something soft and gentle. I realized I really wanted to kiss him.

So I turned my back on him and walked on out of the cave. I could hear Valentine sigh behind me and a little part of me wanted to whimper but I had learned I could only count on myself. So I slapped that little whiny girl inside of me down. In about an hour or so, while we were walking down the road and preparing to cut across the hill country of Haafinger to the cliffs above Dragonsbridge, I had forgotten it.

We made it back to Robber's Gorge that evening. And I had my plans already figured out. So when Valentine got to that round fur tent and proceeded to prepare the one cot for sleeping in, I just prepared the other.

"Don't you want to sleep up in the hutch?" He asked.

"There were crawling things in the furs," I replied lying. "So I had a hard time getting to sleep."

"Sorry about that," he said. "If I had known I wouldn't have put you up there."

"You didn't put me up there," I countered. "I would have gone there without your assistance."

"Why don't you just come clean and admit that you are attracted to me," he said.

You know, if I hadn't known Valentine, and if he hadn't known me, that reply would have made no sense. I knew he knew.

"We're going to bed now . . . I mean separate!" My heart was going all thumpity on me. I was not going to admit that I was falling in love with him.

"Okay," he said. "Goodnight, my beautiful Sofia."

And so there I was, laying in the cot next to him, trying to convince myself that he was mocking me and knowing that he wasn't. Then a little voice in my head suggested that it would have been better if I had slept up on that hutch since it would have sent a message that I was not attracted to Valentine. Then a second little voice was telling the first little voice that if I had I would have been wanting to be down here. And then there was third little voice that was suggesting that we were not close enough and I should have pushed my cot next to his and snuggled up to him. Then a fourth little voice said I should not only push the cot up against his but rape him as well. Then the first little voice said that girls can't rape guys and besides he was obviously willing which meant it couldn't be rape. Then the fourth little voice called the first voice a fat ugly slut and the next thing I knew I had a bar brawl going on inside my head. Of course I won.

We were up early and we walked all day. It wasn't until a while after sunset that we reached Haemar's Shame. Once again we walked through the entire cave system and through the platforms. The torches were still burning and the snow was still not melting. I'm not sure how late it was. You always lose time in caves, but once again we were standing in front of the statue with Barbas and the Rueful Axe. Valentine pulled out the axe and with Barbas beside him on the right and me on the left, he lifted the axe up to the statue.

"Ah, you've got the axe," observed Clavicus. "And my dog, splendid."

"I'm glad you're pleased," said Valentine. And since we're back, would you now fulfill your end of the bargain?"

"Excellent work," continued Clavicus. "A hero and his faithful companion, retrieving the ancient artifact for the prince. It's almost . . . storybook." Then there was a pause. Suddenly I had this gnawing feeling in my stomach that something bad was about to happen. "Ah, but it almost seems a shame to give a weapon like that away, doesn't it?" mused Clavicus in a voice that only pretended to be sympathetic. "I suppose I could be persuaded to let you keep it . . ." I was sure Valentine was taking a deep breath like I was, but as I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, he seemed perfectly calm. How could he do that?

"But only if you use the axe to kill Barbas," said Clavicus. "Simple as that."

You know? It was funny when he talked about how by killing the vampires we were helping him fulfill one last wish for them. But in spite of the fleas and muck on Barbas, he had helped us. And didn't Clavicus complain about being stuck in the middle of nowhere? What was he thinking? Or was this all just part of the game he was playing? I looked at Valentine.

"Nice offer," replied Valentine. "But Sofi and I don't use two handed weapons. So we'll have to say no to the deal. Take the axe and take back Barbas!"

But then it dawned on me that the axe could have been sold for a pile of septims and we could have had a really nice time with all that money. My feelings were really complex right then.

"Hrmph," complained Clavicus. "You're no fun at all. Guess I'll have to make my own fun elsewhere. And with the pup back, I'll be restored to my full power. There's a whole world just waiting for me!"

I mean it was one of those lines you hear in really cheap melodramas? And he said it just like he was in one.

"I knew I could trust you," said Barbas who was jumping about like a dog and getting his fur on me. I tried batting him away but he was persistent.

"Yeah, yeah," muttered Clavicus. "Dog gets master, master gets cosmic axe, everyone's happy. Just get over here, mutt."

"Don't worry," assured Barbas. "I'll make sure he sees the light. I trusted you, now you trust me."

And then there was that blue ball with the twang which Valentine and I would learn over time was the sound and magic of a portal spell of some sort. And suddenly Barbas was a stone statue under Calvicus's right hand.

"Ah, that feels so much better!" said Clavicus. "You forget how nice supreme power feels until you've been stuck in a cave for a few years."

Like I said, the idea that we were supposed to kill Barbas kind of made no sense. I wasn't sure what to believe.

"It's a shame you wished for something so dull as me taking back the mutt. Quite the lack of imagination on your part. A lack of ambition like that really ought to be punished. Perhaps by turning you into a worm, or maybe a few decades of . . ."

Clavicus got silent for a second. I realized I was holding Valentine's hand with both of mine. I wasn't so much scared that he was about to do something to me. I realized that I was scared Clavicus was about to do something to Valentine.

"Oh, fine! Have my boon and be done with it. Got more interesting deals to make, anyway," he finished very much like a little boy would finish before he would go off to pout.

There was this curious horned helmet in front of us but neither of us were paying much attention to it, we were busy kind of looking at each other and being glad things had worked out ok.

I exhaled. And let go of Valentine's hand. And then Valentine let out a breath.

"I thought we were in trouble there for a moment," he said. "I was so scared he'd do something to you."

And then before I knew it he had given me a hug and a kiss. I will admit I sort of got into the kiss. Well you have to admit that when the first thing that comes out of the guy's mouth is that he was worried something horrible was going to happen to you, it's kind of hard to not be appreciative. But then I remembered that I wasn't supposed to be falling in love with him so I backed off and told him to watch it. And he smiled at me because of course he knew better.

"One of these days," he said with that little grin of his. "You're going to crack."

And when he grinned at me that way, I knew I was going to. So I turned my back on him, picked up the mask and looked at it and then noticed that there were a set of stairs going up behind the statue.

"Val?" I asked. "Did we check up there last time?"

"I don't think so," he said.

He turned and went up the stairs and we found a raised ledge behind the statue where a single tunnel led somewhere we had not checked out yet. It was barred but when you pulled the chain handle next to it, the bars came down. Valentine was busy with that when I noticed the chest which was directly behind the statue. I opened it and there were several gems, an enchanted sword of some sort and then this big white faceted ball.

"Wow!" I said. "A shiny ball!"

I really like shiny balls. Okay, so it's a bit of randomness, but I really do like them. Valentine turned and looked back as I lifted it up to show him.

**"A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON."**

You know? You really can't be too careful about who's balls you grab. Wait! No! I didn't mean . . .

Never mind *sighs*.

**The End**

**This From Jack**


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